Actions

Work Header

Whole New Meaning of Hole In the Wall Burger Place

Summary:

Spawned from Frantic Fanfic

Tommy shows Ranboo a new burger place. He is horrified. Quackity is allergic to grills.

Notes:

Featuring: Ranboo, Tommy and Quackity
Writes: Pog, Taxi, Cinn, Pog, Taxi, Cinn

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Ranboo and Tommy look at each other with determination. Phil sits across from them wondering what they have planned.

"So Phil, I'm sure you are curious as to why we brought you here today." Tommy starts as if this is some sort of business meeting.

"The dinner table?" Phil questions.

"Yes!" Tommy says matter-of-factly, folding his hands on the table professionally. "I have a proposition."

Phil was confused, but amused. "Go on."

"You see, Ranboo is already here, So there's no point in sending him overnight, Right?" Tommy says as if trying to make a deal.

"Is this your way of saying you want a sleepover?" Phil sighs.

"Maaaaybe..." Tommy said, drawing out the a innocently as he gave Phil his very best attempt at puppy dog eyes- or raccoon eyes in his case.

"Sure mate." Phil shrugged, "Can I go now?"

The teenagers shared a grin (though Tommy's was noticeably more feral than Ranboo's could ever be) and Tommy gave an excited 'whoop'. "Absolutely- you will not regret this Philza Minecraft. Trust."

Ranboo nodded vigorously, "I'll be on my best behavior- I'll clean up after myself, I'll even make dinner- I won't even sleep inside the house-"

"Mate that's not necessary-" Phil interjected.

"You won't realize I'm here."

"Right..." At this point he was a bit concerned about the lanky enderman (half enderman?) sitting before him, but he wasn't regretting his decision.

"Nothing will go wrong at all. Prommy."

Phil grimaced, "I think you just jinxed yourselves."

Ranboo and Tommy immediately scampered off to another part of the house. Tommy's room specifically. Ranboo honestly was just here to see the secret thing that Tommy had been keeping in his room that he had only hinted at. Apparently they had to be here overnight to truly grasp the awesomeness of the situation or something.

Tommy grinned as he closed the door to the very red and very Tommy room and locked the door. Something about the look in his eyes made Ranboo wonder if they made a grave error. Then again, when were they not? Tail flickering nervously, they shuffled over to the bed, prompted by Tommy's frantic gesturing.

"Watch this," Tommy said, moving over to open up what Ranboo had thought was a poster to reveal a space behind the wall. An older teenager with black hair and golden feathers peered out.

"This is big Q! He used to date Wilbur and after she broke up with him he had nowhere else to go so I let him live in here," Tommy declared proudly.

Q waved at Ranboo. Ranboo very hesitantly waved back, concerned on so many levels. "Is- uh Is this legal?" Ranboo asked for lack of anything else to say.

"Yeah, man, I pay rent," Q responded, Ranboo wondered how that even worked.

"He also knows how to grill." Tommy says excitedly.

"Do you know how hard it is to keep a propane grill in here?" Quackity complains.

"Yeah, but he makes the BEST burgers!" Tommy says. "Uh, don't tell Will tho."

"About the fact that his burgers are better or the fact his ex lives in the walls?" Ranboo asks, concerned. "Does Phil know he's here?"

"Both." Tommy responds to the first question. "Ah, don't tell him either, I'm not splitting the rent money."

Ranboo squinted suspiciously- now they weren't the type to get involved in these sorts of things, but something about this situation felt so... off.

Big Q didn't look like he could grill. I mean could someone that scrawny really work a grill? From what Ranboo had seen Techno grill before and she could lift that thing no problem- wasn't lifting part of the process?

Granted Ranboo had only seen Techno use a grill, every other person had been blocked from memory, but still- Q did not look like the type to grill.

"Are you sure this guy can grill?"

Tommy's mouth hung agape, his expression looking almost offended, "wHA WHAT- WHA- RANBOOB YA CAN'T JUST SAY SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT MAN!!" For his part, Quackity simply continued to stare, shrugging idly- "Nah it's alright, I mean I don't even know how I got a propane grill in here-"

Tommy waggled his finger in Ranboo's face "THAT'S LIKE ASKIN' SOMEONE IF THEY CAN DUNK- OR HELL IF THEY CAN EVEN BEAT THE ENDER DRAGON IN HIT SANDBOX GAME MINECRAFT!"

Ranboo blinked, "Uh- what exactly is wrong with any of those things...?"

Once again, Tommy gaped- he was starting to look a bit like a goldfish, "WHAT DO YA MEAN 'WHAT'S WRONG WITH THOSE THINGS'- IT'S BLOODY HUMILIATIN' IS WHAT IT IS!!"

"It is?" Ranboo and Quackity asked at the same time.

"YES!!!" Tommy shouted back, seeming almost exasperated. "Big Q move aside, we're gettin’ in there."

Looking a bit hesitant, Quackity shuffled aside. Tommy led the way into the tiny crawl space, Ranboo having to practically fold in on themselves to crawl in there. Luckily for Ranboo the wall space was rather tall, now it wasn’t terribly wide but that was more of a problem for the grill than it was for them. The space was dusty, dark, and miserable, the only light within came streaming in from between the few closed openings that led out to various parts of the house. There, a little ways ahead of them lie the fabled grill, it looked pretty unimpressive by Ranboo’s standards.

"Show em your magic Q," Tommy half asked half commanded as he gestured to the grill.

Quackity moved towards the grill timidly before suddenly coughing violently into his arm. Honestly, it was kind of alarming. Ranboo wondered if the guy was dying or if he was just really good at faking it.

"Should we do something about that-" Ranboo asked nervously. Tommy shook his head.

"No Big Q's just allergic to the grill. It's what makes him so good at grilling," Tommy responded as Quackity pulled out a package of whole ass raw hamburgers from the inside of his tracksuit jacket. Ranboo decided right then and there that he was not going to eat that burger actually. In fact, they chose life.

Quackity seemed to recover from the coughing fit and began to grill the burgers. Once again, Ranboo wondered how this whole scheme had not been discovered before now. It smelled like ground beef and smoke in here. They edged over to one of the many closed openings, gently poking it open to let some of the smoke out and hopefully signal for help.

Tommy did not seem to notice, eagerly watching a coughing and wheezing Quackity make the perfect burgers. If the situation was not so horrible Ranboo would think they actually smelled good. Instead he just backed away towards the opening he came in from, wondering if he moved slowly enough that the pair would not notice he was gone.

By the time the burgers were done, Ranboo felt like he was going to get food poisoning just from looking at the burgers. Honestly the whole process was both terrifying and impressive but mostly terrifying. It was like watching the worst episode of Iron Chef. If they were not painfully aware of how awake they were they would think he was dreaming.

As Quackity was plating the burgers, Ranboo managed to claw back the poster and bolt down the hallway to the sounds of Tommy's yelling. They scrambled against the hardwood floor, claws finding little traction as they made a desperate bid for freedom.

Running into the living room, he bounced off the furniture like a cat with the zoomies, nearly slamming into Wilbur as she came home. Meeting eyes with Wilbur briefly, he immediately averted his gaze as he grabbed them by the shoulders . Ranboo knew what he had to do.

"Quackity is living in the walls!" Ranboo declared, panicked as they shook Wilbur by the shoulders. A 'heh?!' echoed from the kitchen before chaos broke loose. Ranboo would not remember what happened next. Next thing he knew he was waking up in the hospital in fact. They wished that they could forget the rest.

Notes:

There might be a second chapter. Depends on our vibes.
Ranboo's fine just traumatized :sparkles:
Techno is confused

Series this work belongs to: