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Louis’ p.o.v.
I was sitting in a chair, getting my hair fixed, while the interviewer sitting across from me was getting her makeup touched up before we’d go live in five minutes. My manager had scheduled this interview on some breakfast show for mid-tour, and I wasn’t sure why he deemed it necessary. It wasn’t as if I needed to raise my profile right now. There were articles being written about each one of my concerts, all positive responses. My tour was sold out and my management couldn’t have expected a better outcome. My fans were simply the best.
Then the interview began, and she asked me the usual questions about what being back on tour felt like. She also asked me questions about my new album - Faith In The Future. Standard procedure for an interview, which made me having to get up early just to do this even more redundant. The interview was so boring, I could have probably answered most of those questions in my sleep.
Maybe that’s why I was caught so off guard when we got to the end of the interview, and she asked me a random question.
“So, Louis, if the world was ending tomorrow, how would you spend your last 24 hours?”
I froze in my seat and my mind went blank immediately. My brain blocked out my surroundings, and I forgot the fact that I was sitting in a live interview.
Then my thoughts started spinning so quickly I could barely catch up with them.
What would I do if the world was ending?
Spend the little time I had left with people I love, right?
My family.
Freddie, of course.
Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe, Doris and Ernest.
… And Harry..
Harry? The last time I’d seen him in person was… years ago. Would I want to spend my last 24 hours with him as well?
Of course I would… He was the love of my life. I had always been aware of this and so had he.
But real life doesn’t always work like the movies. Just because we loved each other as much as we did, didn’t mean a relationship would actually work long term.
Harry and I were… complicated. There’s so much to our story, so many different layers, and so many moments where it went wrong despite us doing what we thought was right, what was the best option, at the time. We shared so many years of our lives. We grew into ourselves while being in a relationship. We discovered who we were together, building our personalities partly dependent on each other.
Our memories together would always connect us. Our bond would never break, no matter what. We were still in contact after all these years, after everything we’d been through. It was usually more on the casual, small talk side of conversation though. But I knew that if I needed him, I could still count on him.
Over the past few years, I’d also learned not to need him though. I’d finally figured out how to let him go and let our communication die out slowly.
In the beginning, right after we broke up, we tried to stay close friends. It was killing me. And it was doing the same to him. But we were too weak to admit it to each other or even to ourselves, that we were doing ourselves more harm than good by staying in close contact.
We were so desperate to hold onto each other, onto what we had, that we forgot how to live.
It got easier as the first two years passed.
We learned how to exist outside of each other. Harry became his own person and I watched fondly over distance as he grew into the person he was meant to be.
It hurt. A lot. Letting him go - letting the love of my life go - was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.
But it was worth it as I saw Harry getting to be open, to finally be free . He got to be himself on stage, wearing the outfits he loved, waving rainbow flags as the crowd went wild.
He deserved to be happy all the time.
And that was something that I hadn’t been able to give him. So, I had had to let him go. And he had had to let me go.
Over the years, we’d both written too many songs about each other, and during my weakest moments, I’d listen to his songs and mourn our doomed love.
To this day I still wished I’d just met him later in life-
“Louis?!”
I subtly shook my head, trying to pull myself back together. I forced myself to smile and laugh it off.
“Sorry, guess I wasn’t expecting a question like that.”
“Wow, you were really gone for a while there, huh?! So, did you come up with an answer? I’m sure your fans would love to know what you’d do during your last 24 hours on earth.”
“I’d try and spend it with the people I love. Rather standard answer, I guess. Sorry if you were hoping for something else.”
“People you love, hm? And who would that be?” The interviewer wasn’t even subtle about trying to find something worth a headline. But I wouldn’t give her a story, not today.
“Just… my family.”
No one had to know that I still counted Harry as family and that if I really only had 24 hours left, I’d definitely want to spend some time, if not all of it, with him.
*****
Harry’s p.o.v.
I was in Italy on vacation when Gemma sent me a link along with a message to watch the video starting at minute 7:52.
I had just woken up and was still lying in bed when I clicked on it.
A brand new interview with Louis started playing and I fast forwarded it.
“So, Louis, if the world was ending tomorrow, how would you spend your last 24 hours?”
Spend it with family , I answered the question for myself and probably for 99% of the rest of the population as well.
Louis’ head tilted slightly to the side, as it did when he was lost in his thoughts.
His eyes got glassy and I figured he was probably thinking about his mom and Fizzy, with whom he couldn’t spend time anymore, not even if he only had 24 hours left.
Louis appeared to be frozen in his seat and for a moment, the interviewer just watched him, allowing him time to think of a reply.
“Tough question, huh?” The interviewer tried to provoke a reaction out of Louis.
But he didn’t react. It was as if he was lost inside his mind.
“Louis?” The interviewer tried again.
I watched, anxiously, as Louis showed no reaction at all. This was a live interview, it appeared. Otherwise they would have cut this scene before uploading it.
“Louis?!” The interviewer repeated his name until he finally snapped out of it.
He shook his head slightly, barely noticeable.
“Sorry, guess I wasn’t expecting a question like that.” His laugh sounded fake.
“Wow, you were really gone for a while there, huh?! So, did you come up with an answer? I’m sure your fans would love to know what you’d do during your last 24 hours on earth.”
“I’d try and spend it with the people I love. Rather standard answer, I guess. Sorry if you were hoping for something else.”
I sighed in relief. He hadn’t been too lost in his mind to blab something out by accident, which I had been momentarily afraid of.
“People you love, hm? And who would that be?”
“Just… my family.”
The video continued with the interviewer thanking Louis for the interview but I zoned out.
Family.
Whom would I spend my last 24 hours with?
The answer was obvious, supposedly.
Family.
My parents. Gemma. Louis.
Anyone else?
Maybe the rest of the boys.
It was only then that I realized I had counted Louis as family without even questioning it.
He just was.
Louis was family. He would always be a part of me. We shared too many years of our lives for it to be any different.
Louis was the love of my life.
I’d known it back then and it was still true to this day.
If I only had 24 hours left to live, nothing that used to matter would matter anymore.
All our fears would be irrelevant.
All our previous problems could be ignored.
There would only be him and me.
It didn’t matter that only recently, after all these years, I’d finally figured out how to think about Louis without it ripping my heart out.
If we only had 24 hours left, there’d be no point in worrying about whether we would be able to survive us not working out a second time.
If I really only had 24 hours left, I’d want to spend them with Louis. With everyone else I had already spent enough time during the past years without Louis. So I didn’t even feel guilty when I decided that I’d spend that time with Louis and not with anyone else in my family.
Before I thought it through, I closed the internet browser on my phone and opened my messages.
I had to scroll far, far down through all my chats until I found him.
His name was right there.
I could vividly remember switching it from ‘Boobear <3 ’ back to ‘Louis’. That night I had been slightly drunk and sobbed my eyes out over a simple goodnight text from him. There hadn’t been a ‘love’ or any other of the various pet names he always called me following it. Just a plain, simple ‘Goodnight :)’. And it was the first time it actually hit me. We were over. Our love hadn’t been enough.
My fingers twitched in anticipation.
I quickly typed out a message and hit send before I could think it over again.
I watched as the check marks appeared. The message had been delivered.
I watched my phone with bated breath, for some reason expecting a reaction right away.
Seconds passed and nothing happened.
A twinge of regret pulsed through my body.
I pressed my thumb on the message and the menu appeared.
My thumb hovered over the delete message option.
I contemplated my options.
What was worse?
Louis seeing a deleted message from me or Louis seeing my original message?
Just as I was about to delete it, my phone pinged with an incoming message.
I exited the menu and went back to the chat.
If the world was ending, you’d come over, right?
Of course I would.
~ the end ~