Chapter Text
Jimmy watched as the photographer shouted encouragement at Lister in between his directions to turn one way or the other. This was always Jimmy’s favourite part of photoshoots, despite it being Lister’s least favourite. He didn’t mind posing himself that much. It wasn’t the best part of their job, but it was easy enough to put up with occasionally for magazines or their official merch. Sometimes he got to wear cool clothes that he could convince them to give him afterwards.
However he felt about photoshoots though, it didn’t come close to the hatred Lister felt for them. Jimmy got it. It had been years, and Lister was still getting requests to model professionally, regardless of how it would affect the band. Somehow, the agencies still seemed to think that Lister would give up music to pose full-time if they just asked enough.
Being privy to Lister’s thoughts, Jimmy was very aware that wasn’t the case. Lister hated photoshoots in a way that he hated very few things in life.
“Yes, Lister, just like that!” the photographer shouted.
Jimmy couldn’t contain his giggles despite his best effort. Even Rowan sniggered quietly beside him. Out in front of the camera, Lister’s expression hardly changed, but Jimmy knew it was a front. It wasn’t even that good of one if you knew what to look for.
Unlike Jimmy and Rowan, he found the comment infuriating more than amusing.
This is stupid, he said to Jimmy in their heads. Jimmy flashed him a smile, though he knew Lister wouldn’t see it while focused on the camera. Lister would still be able to sense the encouragement behind it in their thoughts.
You’re almost done, Jimmy assured him. He’s already been taking photos of you twice as long as he did me or Rowan. It can’t go on too much longer.
Jimmy felt Lister sigh as if he’d done it out loud. Their back and forth mental conversation slowed down as Lister focused on posing. Jimmy watched, his own thoughts occasionally going to slightly scandalous places. Lister was picking up on it too; Jimmy swore his cheeks were a little pinker than before, though anyone else could easily attribute it to the bright lights they had shining on him. They’d fix that when editing the photos anyway.
For all of Lister’s negative feelings about modelling, Jimmy got why so many people wanted him to do it. The fact that he was always a little stiff in front of the camera was overshadowed by how gorgeous he was, even if Lister hated acknowledging his looks.
It was weird for Jimmy too. He’d known Lister in some capacity since birth thanks to their telepathic connection, though their earliest shared thoughts were little more than feelings. They weren’t able to meet in person until they’d started school and had quickly pieced together who the other was.
Jimmy had watched Lister go through every phase of his life, and while he’d always been attractive as far as Jimmy was concerned, he’d really come into himself during the first couple years of being in The Ark. Something that could probably be attributed to increased confidence—both because of the fame and being away from the school bullies—as well as just getting older. Sometimes, Jimmy wondered if he was supposed to be jealous when people showered Lister with attention, but he wasn’t. He’d been able to peer into Lister’s mind his entire life; he knew he had nothing to worry about.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Rowan tapping on his shoulder. Jimmy turned and realised that Rowan had moved to the window. “There are some paps down there waiting for us to leave,” he noted with a frown. He had always been more vigilant about the paparazzi than Jimmy or Rowan. Jimmy preferred to pretend they weren’t there until forced to do otherwise. Rowan turned to him and, upon seeing his expression, realised that it might have been better not to say anything. “There aren’t many,” he promised. “Just two or three.”
That was still two or three more than any of them would have liked, but Jimmy nodded, trying to reassure Rowan that he was fine.
In his head, he felt LIster’s concern. A lot of their shared thoughts were more of a general feeling than something they put into words. It wasn’t the same as sharing emotions because Jimmy didn’t feel Lister’s concern as if it was his own emotion. It was more like reading Lister’s facial expression and knowing what he was feeling except he didn’t have to look at him to do it.
He turned back to where Lister was still posing and smiled, just like he had at Rowan. But it was pointless. Lister had access to a wealth of information inside Jimmy’s head that Rowan never got to see. He knew when Jimmy got anxious. But Jimmy knew logically that everything would be fine.
The anxiety was always there. He could live with it.
Finally, the photographer couldn’t think of another pose to make Lister do. Jimmy and Rowan had changed back into their own clothes as soon as they were finished, but Lister didn’t bother. He threw himself onto the sofa Jimmy was occupying, laying his head on Jimmy’s lap and stretching out his legs. He nuzzled his cheek against Jimmy’s jeans.
“Oi,” Jimmy said. “You’re getting makeup on my trousers.” But even as he said it, his fingers wove through Lister’s hair. Lister sighed at the touch, sending Jimmy a thanks in their minds. Jimmy smiled down at him. None of them were huge fans of photoshoots, but they’d always taken more out of Lister than they did him or Rowan.
“Nice smoulder during that last one,” Rowan said, kicking his foot lightly against Lister’s where it dangled off the sofa.
Lister opened one eye, sending Rowan as much of a glare as he could muster without lifting his head from Jimmy’s lap. “I did not smoulder.”
“You kind of did,” Jimmy said. Before Lister could turn his glare to him, he added, “But only because the photographer made you.”
Lister groaned and turned his face into Jimmy’s leg. “Did you hear him ask again if I wanted to model for some fashion shoot he’s doing?” His voice was muffled by Jimmy’s jeans. “As if I’ll give in after the hundredth time.”
“People are yearning for their Lister billboards and magazine spreads,” Jimmy said.
Lister’s thoughts were apprehensive. He really didn’t like the idea of modelling, but they’d gone over this enough times for Jimmy to know that him and Rowan poking light fun at the situation actually made Lister feel better about it than he would otherwise. It helped that they treated the idea of Lister modelling as ridiculous.
“For some reason they seem to think we’d give you up that easily,” Rowan joked.
Lister flipped over so that he was facing the ceiling, his head still on Jimmy’s lap. Jimmy brushed a few strands of hair away from his face, and Lister smiled up at him. “If anything, they should want Jimmy on billboards.”
Jimmy’s cheeks warmed at the compliment, which only made Lister’s grin widen. Rowan scoffed in the familiar way that he always did when he knew he was in danger of being forgotten because Lister and Jimmy had fallen into their own internal world.
“Can you at least wait until we get home?” he asked. “Lister, you still need to change. I’d like to have dinner at a semi-reasonable hour.”
Lister hummed but didn’t make any move to get up. “Someone’s jealous again that his girlfriend doesn’t get to be around all the time.”
Rowan’s frown deepened, but he tried to keep it light as he responded. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s healthier for soulmates to have separate lives. It’s not like I don’t know what’s going on with her.” He tapped his temple. “Besides, it’s better that her identity be kept a secret. She doesn’t want all this.” He motioned around the room, which was still laden with photography equipment. “It’s less stressful this way.”
It was all things Rowan had been saying since The Ark began to receive attention. He hadn’t been as lucky as Jimmy and Rowan. His soulmate had been on the opposite side of the country. He’d only met her in person once before they uploaded their first video to Youtube. They’d risen to fame before Rowan and Jenna had solidified their relationship in the physical world.
At first, Jimmy had fully believed Rowan and Jenna that keeping it quiet was what was right for them, but each time Rowan reiterated it, he sounded a little less sure himself. Jimmy was careful not to look at Lister as his thoughts conveyed the same uncertainty—along with regret over having mentioned Jenna in such a context in the first place.
Jimmy poked Lister in the shoulder. “Come on. Up. Rowan’s right. You should change.”
Lister went easily that time, slipping away without looking directly at Rowan. Jimmy, on the other hand, made eye contact as Lister slipped behind the curtain that had been put up for them to change. He smiled. Rowan smiled back, but there was still an uneasiness to it.
Maybe it was because of the paps waiting outside and nothing else.
Lister slept like a log that night, snuggled in against Jimmy’s side. He was always cuddly, but he was particularly clingy after moments like the photoshoot, when he was held up as some kind of sex idol. Lister really didn’t like being singled out from his band members, something that managed to warm Jimmy’s heart and sadden him at the same time.
He loved that Lister cared for both him and Rowan so deeply, but he did wish that he would accept how great he was a little bit more.
By the next morning, the remaining weariness from the photoshoot was gone. Lister was all confident smiles as they climbed into the car that was set to take them to the stadium for their first concert of the tour. Cecily was already in the car and barely looked up from her phone as they slid in beside her.
“Sleep well, boys?”
She didn’t look up when she asked the question, but they knew they were each supposed to answer anyway. Jimmy had heard before that multitasking wasn’t real. Supposedly, the truth was that one of the tasks would suffer because you couldn’t give it your full attention. Cecily gave that idea a run for its money. No one could type away on a phone but then remember everything you said two days later like she could.
“Yeah,” Lister said, slouching down as far as he could with the seatbelt on. He rested his head on Jimmy’s shoulder, which probably wasn’t selling the idea that he was well-rested even if Jimmy knew that he had, in fact, slept soundly for a decent seven hours.
“Good,” Cecily said. “You’ll need all your energy for tonight’s concert. It’s your first stadium tour, and we want to kick it off right. Remember. This stage is twice as large as the one on your last tour.”
As if any of them could forget. Jimmy had known it would be when they’d arrived for rehearsals, but it had still been something else standing on the stage and staring out at the empty stadium.
“I still don’t get that,” Lister remarked. “It’s not like we’re dancing. How much space can little old us take up?”
Jimmy giggled. “It looks impressive,” he said. “We’ve truly made it now, Lister. Everyone can judge our success by how big our stage is.”
And that really was the only reason he could think of for the size of the stage. They had actually worked with a choreographer to make full use of the stage. Him and Rowan were supposed to move around at certain points in the show—without any dancing of course—but that had been them forcing themselves to make use of the stage. They would have been just as fine with a smaller stage. But you didn’t put small stages in large stadiums, and judging by the ticket sales, The Ark was a stadium-level band. Or so their team said.
That was probably something that should have terrified Jimmy. He often got anxious about interacting with fans, and he was about to perform in front of more of them at once than he ever had before, not counting TV viewers. But he was remarkably calm. If there was one place he felt at ease, it was on stage with Lister and Rowan.
There were hours to go before even the VIP ticket holders would be let into the stadium, yet a large group had gathered by the entrance to the stadium’s secured parking. Jimmy crouched down in his seat as they approached even though the tinted windows made it impossible to see through. Lister squeezed his hand, his own eyes fixated out the window.
Rowan sighed and ran a hand across his brow. “Don’t they have anything better to do?”
I think getting that excited about a concert is nice, Lister shared with Jimmy in their thoughts. Jimmy smiled at him. He knew why Lister hadn’t shared that opinion out loud. If he had, Rowan would only have complained more about the fans and how their behaviour was different from just being regular old excited.
Jimmy got it, in some respects, but he knew Rowan’s complaining often upset Lister. While Rowan fixated on the more out there behaviour and judged the fans accordingly, Lister at least tried to focus on the more positive aspects like he needed to forget the rest of it for his own sanity. Jimmy understood that, though he fell somewhere in the middle.
The screaming increased as they passed. The fans had no way of knowing which car they were actually in, but it wasn’t stopping them. They’d probably been screaming at every car that passed, and Jimmy wondered if that made the reaction a little less special.
Jimmy gripped Lister’s hand as they walked through the underground area of the stadium. He’d expected something to happen that would make the stadium tour feel like reality, but he was disappointed in that regard. From backstage, the stadium looked largely the same as the arenas they’d performed at in the past. Yes, it was bigger, but that just meant more time spent walking around to get where you were going. This part of the stadium, which fans didn’t usually get to see, wasn’t built to be impressive in the same way everything else was, and it showed.
That was probably a good thing. Jimmy had been okay at the rehearsals when the seats had been empty save for a few staff members, but the familiarity of being backstage was even more calming. A concert was still a concert, no matter how many people were watching. It would be him, Lister, and Rowan up on stage concentrating on the music. That was it.
He’d be fine if it weren’t for the meet and greets, but their team were adamant that those were a crucial part of the tour. His unease carried over to Lister in his thoughts, and Lister squeezed his hand as they reached the dressing room.
We’ve got this, Lister told him. The fans love you, and me and Rowan will be there the whole time. Nothing bad will happen.
Jimmy squeezed his hand back and tried to smile. Thank you.
They both knew it hadn’t driven the anxiety away.
Jimmy slipped on his outfit for the night’s concert: black jeans and a black hoodie. It was only a slight variation on the outfit he’d worn for every single concert they’d performed over the years. It may not have been making any new statements, but it was comforting. He knew that it worked.
Being dressed meant it was closer to time for the meet and greet. He tugged the sleeves of his hoodie down around his hands, gripping them tightly. He could usually forget about the meet and greets for a while they were bustling around getting ready, but the uneasiness always crept up right before. The one silver lining was that the number of fans they’d meet hadn’t changed despite this time around being a stadium tour. He and the boys had been adamant about that during the planning stages.
You all right? Lister asked, paying close attention to Jimmy like always. Jimmy turned to where he was sitting in the chair, letting their makeup artist lightly dust his face.
I’m fine, he assured him. And he was. Mostly. They’d done meet and greets a million times before. This one would be no different.