Work Text:
It was really cold in his bed. The blanket wasn’t warm enough to provide her with enough heat and if that wasn’t a good enough reason for her to freeze to death, she was butt-naked under his sheets. Well, correction, she did have her underwear on, but the temperature was painfully low nonetheless. The only warmth she could absorb were coming from his fingers, which were lightly touching her shoulder.
In the dark she looked over to the window, noticing it being open, and she groaned a bit painfully, thinking about whether she should get up and close it, or stay under this light coverage which gave her just enough heat to survive this pretty cold March night.
She decided to stay, it was not worth it. He must have left it open when he smoked that cigarette after they were done with their business… He does always remember to close it though, doesn’t he? It doesn’t matter. Somehow she will fall asleep, despite it being around one am… Gosh, they really managed to be up till that long?
Doesn’t matter… She’ll fall asleep soon…
Her eyes suddenly shifted from the window to the man sleeping next to her, his face was like a calm kitten after dinner. It may be a strange analogy, but that’s exactly what his dreaming face reminded her of. Instead of the idiot whom she normally sees during the daytime at work, there was an undisturbed man, whose face was free of every kind of stress. He could only let down his walls whenever it was just the two of them on their own and she was content with that, that was precisely what she intended with the kiss that started all those secret rendezvous' and stolen, longing glances. There wasn't any regret on her part, at least not too much. Sometimes she does wonder if she's doing the right thing, but well, work comes with its own burdens, sometimes this can be the only way to help both of them relieve them...
Early on their affairs took place every few weeks, but for a couple of months now they’ve been consistently meeting at least once a week at either his place, a motel, or at times the office itself, after everyone left already, and only the two of them remained for a very uneventful night shift, well, at least uneventful at first… She didn’t even know how, or when the whole thing exactly happened. She kissed him after a successful field mission induced drunken night and by the morning, she found herself between his sheets. Despite their whole situation being slightly more awkward than usual for a while, she liked it. Maybe she even wanted to repeat it. She didn’t have to say the words, as he probably craved the same thing, resulting in another intoxicated evening, just the two of them this time. The result was the same as last time.
As to why they continued, she did have a number of her own reasons. To reduce loneliness, to have someone to talk to, to get to know his real self. The biggest factor was probably the excitement. Isn’t it intruiging when nobody knows what's going on behind all those sarcastic comments and occasional cat fights the two of them share? Nobody would ever guess it, knowing the relationship they show when they are working.
Oh, well. Maybe she also liked his real personality that he only showed her when they were together, he was perhaps even fun to talk to. They liked sharing war stories and even opening up to each other at times.
She sighed. All this thinking still didn’t help with her freezing body, and even if a quick solution to her problem came to mind, she hurriedly rejected the idea, looking over at the blonde man again, who was sleeping safe and sound. Even if the thought crossed her mind, she couldn't just force herself to do it... No, she didn’t dare to crawl closer. There was something like an invisible wall between the two of them, even if they just engaged in the most intimate activity two human beings could share… He was close, yet so far away. She didn’t dare to show her feelings too much. She couldn’t get too attached. She told herself she wouldn't get attached. Even if at this point she would've been willing to try anything other than a simple affair with him, she couldn't... Not with the risk of him ending up at the slaughterhouse too. No. This was enough, fun, and she knew it wouldn't last. She felt like actively seeking his comfort would bring consequences she wouldn't want to face yet again....
She turned on her back to stop facing him, now looking at the blank ceiling, which she could barely make out in the dark, and just waited to fall asleep to the deadly ticking of the wall clock. The morning was dangerously getting closer and closer...
"What's on your mind?" the sudden raspy, sleepy voice coming from the pillow above her head made her a bit startled. Her head turned to face him yet again, this time being able to look in to the blue eyes, that were analyzing her in the dark. After all her sleepless hours (more like fourty-five minutes) he was suddenly awake. She wondered, did her loud thoughts came to awake him? Maybe it was the sound of her tossing and turning in bed, unable to get even a minute of the slumber she'd been desiring since the start of the day. How long has he been staring at her? She was filled with so many questions, but none of them escaped her lips.
“Nothing. I’m cold. Can't sleep.” she responded, even herself surprised by the tenderness in her tone.
“What, lazy to get up to shut the window? You’re capable of so many things, but that crosses your line?” even in the dark she could see the playful smile that illuminated his whole face, his voice gentle, sort of flirtatious, making sure she wouldn't take anything in the wrong way. The complete opposite of what this observation would have been if they were at work. She seriously admired the duality of his character. "Look...we'll close it in the morning. I have a better solution."
With that, he pulled her in for a huge hug, locking his arms around her figure, enfolding her into the comforting warmth of his chest. One of his hands brushed through her ruffled hair while the other was moving up and down on her back, trying to provide her with some heat. His hands exuded pleasant warmth and were surprisingly soft, which helped melting the ice around her heart.
“You know what?" she mumbled, burying her face in his neck which carried the scent of his cologne. "I think you should leave that window open a lot more often."