Work Text:
Mary and Rhoda laughed as they walked Phyllis and Ben to the door to see them out after an eventful night. The rest of the guests left an hour ago. Phyllis and Ben had stayed behind for a bit, playing on the piano and singing old songs from their childhood.
“Thanks again for showing me around Minneapolis, Rhoda, I had a great time,” Ben said with a smile.
“It was my pleasure, I had a wonderful time too.” She squeezed his arm briefly as he walked out the door. “Of course probably not as much fun as we could have had if you batted for my team.” Rhoda winked at him while laughing at Phyllis’s horrified expression.
“Thank God for small favours,” Phyllis responded drily, frowning slightly.
“Oh Rhoda!” Mary laughed, smacking her friend lightly on the arm.
Rhoda really had enjoyed Ben’s company. His honesty about his sexuality was so refreshing. He had no shame about it. It reminded Rhoda of some of her previous friends from New York. She really had thought Phyllis would have known. She’d been relieved when Ben hadn’t been upset with her for letting the cat out of the bag, and more relieved when Phyllis hadn’t been the least bit bothered by Ben being gay.
“I’ll call in on you when I’m next in town, Rhoda. Thanks for everything.” Ben waved as Mary smiled and shut the door softly behind them.
“Oh Mare, I was so relieved that Phyllis wasn’t upset about Ben being gay. I was mortified when I told her and she didn’t already know. There goes Rhoda, sticking her big foot in it again!” She laughed as she shook her head at her earlier blunder.
Mary laughed with her as she made her way back to the kitchen to retrieve the open bottle of wine. “I suppose it isn’t so surprising. Phyllis does have some very forward thinking ideas about a lot of things.”
Rhoda nodded in agreement as she took a seat in one the chairs at the kitchen table. “You’re right, kid. It’s just such a sensitive topic, you never know how someone will react to it, you know? But there she was, relieved her brother was gay and not interested in the crazy, frumpy neighbour upstairs!”
“Oh Rhoda! Stop it! You are far from frumpy!” Mary exclaimed as she came to stand next to Rhoda and used her hip to nudge the other woman’s shoulder as she held the open wine bottle over Rhoda’s glass, offering her another drink. “Have you seen yourself tonight? You’re gorgeous!”
“Gee, thanks kid, it’s probably just the dress.” She laughed, giving a small nod and clicking her painted fingernail against her wine glass as Mary poured. “I don’t think Phyllis or my date would agree with you though, I’m pretty sure I saw him leaving with that young blonde woman that was here.”
“Well it’s his loss,” Mary replied shaking her head. “If he can’t see how amazing you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.” She sat down opposite Rhoda and sipped her wine.
“Thanks Mare, but I’m not really upset by it. Honestly I didn’t see a future with the guy or anything. It’s not like I was ready to pick out baby names with him.”
“It’s still a rotten thing to do,” Mary insisted as she fidgeted with her glass. “You deserve better than that. I wish you could see that. You’re beautiful, funny, intelligent, caring. These guys you’re dating are real schmucks!”
Rhoda looked up from staring at the wine in her glass as Mary’s voice rose higher, signifying she was becoming more agitated by her friend being treated so badly and her simply dismissing it as no big deal. Rhoda caught Mary’s gaze and saw the frustration there…and something else. Her eyes were imploring, begging Rhoda to see herself the way Mary did. Usually she would deflect the compliments with a joke, but the look she was receiving silenced those thoughts.
This wasn’t the first time Mary has expressed her feelings about Rhoda’s dates, or her frustration with how Rhoda spoke of herself. But lately she noticed it happening more frequently, and the odd thing about it was she had been dating less often, but for some reason or other Mary found fault with every man she dated. Admittedly some had been real losers, this last one was no exception, but the one before hadn’t been too bad, she just hadn’t felt anything for him. Yet Mary had declared him unworthy of Rhoda. The dark brunette started to wonder just who she would need to find to get Mary’s approval. With the compliments she was getting from Mary, the insistence behind them…and she had caught her friend staring at her in the oddest way a couple of times tonight… well, no, it couldn’t be. The very thought was crazy of her to entertain. However, when she had been out with Ben last night, he had asked her if there was anything between her and Mary. Rhoda had done a cartoon spit-take with the soda in her mouth and started choking.
Ben had laughed as she’d coughed and sputtered. It was a rare occurrence for someone to take her off guard like that, and once she had regained her composure she started laughing. She assured him that there was no way Little Miss Apple Pie from small town Minnesota had a thing for the loud-mouthed, obnoxious, over-bearing Jewish girl from the Bronx.
“And what about you? Do you have a thing for Miss Small Town Apple Pie?” The glint in his eye said he thought she did.
“Me!” Rhoda had replied, her hand pressing to her chest as she laughed loudly. Too loudly. “Honestly Ben, Mary and I are just very good friends. That’s all.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
No, she hadn’t.
Rhoda took a deep breath as she remembered their conversation and looked into her best friend’s dark eyes… was there something there? Rhoda had tried to deflect Ben, but he persisted, and Rhoda finally admitted that yes, she was attracted to Mary.
At first she had just put it down to some type of silly crush simply because she admired Mary so much, but in the last year she had started to realise it was more than that. Her burgeoning feelings for her friend were a large part of why she had almost moved back to New York. But then Mary had been so sad to say goodbye to her, and Rhoda felt a little sick about it. When she really thought about not being near Mary anymore, when they were saying goodbye in that restaurant…she couldn’t do it when push came to shove. She stayed.
Rhoda had managed to ignore her feelings for Mary and just focus on their friendship, putting the rest out of her mind. Sometimes she still found herself staring at her friend a little too long, admiring the cut of her dress, or her pants a little too much. Getting lost in her smile, the one that made Rhoda feel like she was the centre of her universe in that moment. Her touches might linger too long, her hugs a little tighter than they needed to be…but over all, she had convinced herself to ignore those feelings… until Ben had pulled it sharply into focus again and placed neon flashing lights around it. He made it sound like you had to be blind not to see it and he thought Mary may just feel the same way. That idea had sent Rhoda into another laughing fit.
Now, gazing into Mary Richard’s eyes, she wondered if perhaps there was something there, but surely it couldn’t be. Mary couldn’t possibly. She was… Mary. Rhoda might date a fair bit but for as much as she did, Mary did so more. She certainly never lacked interest. Why would she? She was beautiful, kind, charming, funny, intelligent and so giving. It just didn’t seem conceivable to her that Mary would be interested in her…but now looking at her, maybe it was time to find out.
“Maybe I should try dating a woman, might have better luck.” Rhoda smirked, sipping her wine and leaning back in her chair. The look of surprise on Mary’s face, the way she started to open her mouth only to close it again and then leave it slightly open had Rhoda in hysterics. “Oh Mare, oh kid… you should see your face! You’d think I suggested I should date Ted!”
After a moment the surprised look dissolved into a large smile and Mary joined her in laughter.
“Oh Rhoda!” Mary chuckled, her laughter now under control. “You really had me there for a second. Can you imagine! You dating a woman! I’ve never known someone so obsessed with finding a husband as you!”
Rhoda laughed lightly and ran her hands through her hair while removing the clips holding it up. Dark hair fell around her shoulders as she ran her hair through it again while shaking it out a little. She noticed Mary’s smile falter, her breathing catch every so slightly, and her fingers gripped the stem of her wine glass as she watched Rhoda.
Interesting, Rhoda thought, sipping her wine and smiling, “I’ll admit kid, I can see why you think that, but to be honest, there was a time when I was younger, back in New York, that a woman I knew was interested in me and well, I did briefly consider it. As I remember she did a better job of coming on to me than most men ever have.” Rhoda laughed softly, keeping it light, but watching Mary carefully.
Mary’s smile disappeared, her expression serious. She sat up in her chair, fingers uncurling from her wine glass to rest next to it. She examined Rhoda carefully, the scrutiny made Rhoda slightly uncomfortable. Had she crossed a line? Had she pushed Mary too far? Surely she wasn’t that much of a prude? She never thought Mary would be interested in a woman, but she never thought she would have had a problem with anyone who was.
“Uh, you okay there, kid?” Rhoda asked, reaching her hand out to lightly touch Mary’s. Her friend didn’t pull away from her, so at least Rhoda knew she wasn’t repulsed by her for entertaining the idea of dating a woman.
“What? Oh, yes, of course!” Mary replied quickly, her voice a little too high. She moved her hand from under Rhoda’s and stood quickly to walk to the large picture window. She remained facing away from Rhoda, staring out the window for a time before speaking again. “Did you…” Mary started, but her voice faltered for a moment before continuing, “did you go out with her?”
“No Mare, I didn’t. I just said I considered, but I wasn’t attracted to her, so there was no point,” Rhoda answered truthfully, standing up and taking a couple of steps toward Mary as her fingers rubbed her forehead in concern.“Look kid, I didn’t think this would be a problem for you, I mean-”
“I don’t have a problem with it Rhoda,” Mary interjected defensively, turning quickly to look at the other woman again. “I just didn’t expect, I mean I didn’t know you had, or were – that you would-” Mary tried to explain her thoughts as she gestured helplessly.
“Oh Mare, I’m not, I mean I never have,” Rhoda quickly assured when she caught onto what Mary was thinking. “But would it matter if I had, or if I am?”
“Oh of course not Rhoda!” Mary shook her head emphatically, “I just didn’t think… you were just always so obsessed with men that it never even occurred to me that you might like women too!” Mary ran her hands through her hair, agitated.
“I don’t know if I do kid, I was just explaining that one hit on me a long time ago and I considered it, and that maybe I should consider it again.” Rhoda shrugged her shoulders.
“Have you ever been attracted to a woman?” The question asked so quietly that Rhoda almost didn’t hear her.
“Have you?” Rhoda watched Mary’s cheek grow red as Mary floundered to answer. Rhoda tried to make eye contact, but Mary turned away again. The move frustrated the dark brunette. “Nah, of course Miss Head Cheerleader never thought about going down under.” She lashed out, falling back on her usual defence tactics. She immediately regretted it. Mary didn’t deserve that. After all, Rhoda hadn’t answered the question either.
“Oh Rhoda! There is no need to be so crass about it. Can’t you just be serious right now!” Mary responded frustrated, hugging herself and rubbing her arms as if she were cold.
Rhoda felt like a jerk. If she wanted honesty from Mary, she needed to give it as well instead of hiding behind her usual armour of humour and defensiveness. “Look Mare, I have been attracted to a woman before… one woman. It was unexpected.”
Mary inhaled sharply, her breathing stilled momentarily. Rhoda took a few steps towards her, but Mary’s voice stopped her just short of climbing the two steps out of the sunken living room.
“Oh… is it someone in New York? Someone you met when you were going to move back there?” Mary asked quietly, her voice quavering slightly at the end.
Mary sounded upset! Upset! Could Ben be right? How did she not see it? Was it jealousy that made Mary hate all of her more recent dates? Oh my God. Rhoda couldn’t believe it, but what other answer is there for Mary getting this upset that she might be attracted to a woman? Mary swore she had no issue if Rhoda was inclined that way, so what was it?
Time to go for broke Morgenstern.
“No, she’s not in New York,” Rhoda responded truthfully.
“So she’s… she’s here?” Mary questioned hesitantly, sounding afraid of the answer.
“Yes, she is.” Closer than you’re thinking.
“Are you going to…” Mary paused, taking a deep breath as one hand rubbing her throat before pressing to her chest, “I mean do you think you will…see her?”
Mary sounded like she was near tears at this idea. Any smart ass, sarcastic come back Rhoda might normally have didn’t even register to her now. Mary needed to know.
“I already see her, regularly. She’s the reason I decided not to go back to New York.” Rhoda confessed, a small smile on her lips as she climbed the steps out of the living room and stood behind Mary.
This elicited the reaction that Rhoda was waiting for, that she was secretly hoping for. Her friend spun around to face her, their gazes locked immediately, both searching for answers.
Rhoda was right about Mary being upset, her eyes glistened with tears, but her gaze was… hopeful.
“Rhoda, do you… are you saying… is it me?” Mary’s voice was soft and trembled on the last word.
Rhoda’s heart sped up so much she could feel it beating against her chest and she wondered if Mary could hear it. She continued to hold Mary’s questioning gaze for a few moments longer before swallowing her fear, and taking the last couple of steps to bridge the distance between them. She stopped in front of her, less than an arm’s length apart, saying nothing, giving Mary the chance to move away if she wanted to. Mary inhaled shallowly and raised one hand toward Rhoda. Before she could touch her, Rhoda reached up and placed her palm against the bottom of Mary’s jaw, revelling in the soft skin, and the sudden intake of breath her action caused in her friend. Emboldened by the response, she slid her fingers behind Mary’s neck, pulling gently, their bodies pressed against each other as her lips covered Mary's in a soft kiss. For a moment Mary didn’t respond, but then a small whimper escaped her and she kissed Rhoda back. Her hands dropped to Rhoda's hipsas their kiss became more passionate.
A low moan escaped Rhoda when Mary’s tongue caressed her bottom lip, her arousal surging higher as their tongues met and Mary moaned into their kiss. Her other hand moved to cup Mary’s cheek as they continued to kiss passionately. Rhoda’s head was spinning. Kissing Mary was more incredible than she imagined it would be. She lost herself in the softness of her mouth as her hands moved to tangle in Mary’s hair.
Mary’s hands moved from her hips to slide up and press against Rhoda’s back, the taller woman bringing them impossibly closer together. Then Mary’s hands slid down to caress and squeeze her backside, fingers pressing into her flesh. Rhoda’s brain nearly short circuited before she pulled away from the kiss in surprise. As much as she loved it and wanted more, ached for more, she didn’t want Mary doing something she would later regret. Rhoda could absolutely not bear losing Mary over this.
Both were breathing heavier and trembling slightly with arousal, as they stared at each other. Mary’s eyes were filled with desire, her fingers touching her own lips, as if to confirm what they had just done.
”Of course it’s you Mare, who else could it be?” Rhoda finally answered the forgotten question with a half grin.
Mary didn’t respond, only looked at her as the seconds ticked past. Slowly the desire in Mary’s eyes faded as her senses came back to her.
“Oh Rhoda, I didn’t know… I mean sometimes I noticed you looking at me, or holding me closer than you used to, but I didn’t – I mean I never would have presumed, and honestly I didn’t want this…” Mary gestured helplessly, looking confused by her own thoughts and inability to express them coherently.
Rhoda was suddenly frozen by fear. Fear that she has messed up royally. Was Mary about to say she didn’t want this? Okay, Mary had kissed her back, more than kissed her back. She must have some attraction to Rhoda, but what if Mary was already regretting it? What if she was about to tell Rhoda what a huge mistake it was? Or worse, that she never wanted to see her again? No, she couldn’t deal with that, not now. She just wanted this moment. This one perfect kiss with Mary. Tomorrow she could deal with reality.
“Look Mare,” she said, rubbing her forehead and looking away, she didn’t want to see the rejection she feared would be there. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m not sorry for kissing you, but I’m sorry if I overstepped. You need time to think about it. I sprung a lot on you all at once, and that’s not fair. I’m gonna go.” Rhoda turned away, practically running to the door and was halfway out before she turned back to look at Mary, the distance giving her the courage to do so. What she saw broke her heart. Mary was crying. Not sobbing, but there were tears on her cheeks and her arms wrapped around herself again.
“Oh kid… Mary, I’m so sorry.” The euphoria from their kiss had been scared out of her, replaced with a feeling of dread, “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I never should have…” She stopped, she didn’t know how to finish that sentence. She couldn’t say she never should have kissed her, because she wanted to, and doesn’t regret it, but she may have just destroyed the best friendship she ever had for a single kiss. A soul searing kiss, maybe the best kiss of her life, but was it worth what it may have done? She wanted to go to Mary, to take her in arms and hold her, but she was sure that was the last thing Mary would want right now. After all, Rhoda was the reason Mary was in this crisis.
“I’m going okay? If you need me...”
Rhoda couldn’t think of how to finish that sentence either, she had already done enough. She was such a putz! She just had to push it! She had to know. With reluctance she started to close the door, but was stopped by a firm command just as it was about to click shut.
“Rhoda Faye Morgenstern! Don’t you dare run away from me!” Mary’s voice had lost any previous hesitation and held no room for argument.
Rhoda froze for a moment, indecision taking hold, her personal demons screaming at her to run, to protect herself from what might happen if she goes back into that room. Yet, when has she ever been able to deny Mary anything?
After a moment, the ability to move came back to her and she rubbed her forehead again, a nervous gesture that did nothing to relieve the tension. She felt like crawling out of her skin. Trying to prepare herself, she inhaled deeply and let it out slowly as she pushed the door back open and stepped inside.
Mary looked ticked off. Her cheeks slightly flushed, her hands on her hips, and her tears were gone. Rhoda was relieved Mary was longer crying, but terrified she was about to get told off. The dark brunette’s defensive instincts kicked in before she could sensor them.
“Listen kid, I wasn’t running away, I just don’t need to hear you explain to me why this was a mistake, or why it was a lapse in your better judgement. And I don’t need to hear about how you have no interest in me, okay?” Rhoda emphasised each point with a gesture of her hands, but avoided eye contact with Mary at all costs. “I mean, I get it, you were taken off guard, I took advan -”
“So you’ve got me all figured out then, do you?” Mary interrupted, angry, her hands gestured wildly as they illustrated her frustration. “You just take it upon yourself to decide what I’m feeling and oh, I can’t possibly return old crazy, frumpy Rhoda’s feelings? Is that it? Is that what you’re telling yourself? Maybe some other self-recrimination thrown in.” Rhoda couldn’t deny a single word, so instead just continued to look everywhere but at Mary. “How long Rhoda? How long have you had these feelings for me?” Mary demanded, stepping forward into Rhoda’s space with each question.
“Does it matter?” Rhoda retorted defensively, her arms crossed as she stepped backward and finding herself uncharacteristically intimated by Mary moving toward her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t come very far in the room when she slunk back in, and the back of her foot hit the door with her last step. She had no where else to go.
Mary glared at her, not impressed with her answer. Fine, may as well just tell her. Everything was already messed up. Why not finish it? “A year, okay? I’ve loved you for at least that long… maybe more.” She admitted, defeated.
The fight drained out of her as her shoulders slumped and her arms fell to her side, head bowed. Why try to protect herself anymore? As soon as she kissed Mary she left herself open to this…vulnerability. Now she needed to face it, and then try to pick up the pieces. “I tried Mary, really tried not to feel this way. I told myself I was being dumb…I love our friendship, I didn’t…I don’t want-” Rhoda’s voice caught in her throat, her emotions overwhelming her. Tears welled in her eyes, and she swiped at one with annoyance when it threatened to fall. “I don’t want to lose you,” she managed to finish, her voice strained as she rubbed forehead and finally looked up, making eye contact with Mary who is now stood in front of her. Rhoda would have taken a step back in surprise, but she was already against the door.
Then she noticed, Mary was smiling at her, not one of her radiant smiles, but a small, half smile that looked sad, yet loving. “Oh, Rhoda.” Those words were filled with compassion as she reached out to pull Rhoda to her and wrap her arms around her. Rhoda returned the hug and nuzzled her face in Mary’s neck, sighing with relief. After a few moments Mary moved her head to rest against Rhoda’s forehead. “You love me?”
Rhoda nodded, her forehead moving against Mary’s own. She felt like a fool, she was so sure Mary was going to reject her, yet here she was, holding her, touching her, accepting her...returning her feelings?
“Yeah kid,” she said with a small smile.
Mary lifted her head from Rhoda’s and caressed her cheek, wiping away an errant tear as she did. Her fingers moved to her chin, applying gentle pressure until Rhoda looked into Mary’s eyes that were once again filled with tears. Though Rhoda could see these were not tears of pain, but happiness. Then Mary was kissing her again, and Rhoda’s insecurities melted away, the demons hounding her banished and all she knew was how this woman made her feel. Happy, loved, safe. This was a kiss of promise, of understanding and acceptance.
As the kiss ended, they remained holding each other, neither in a hurry to let go.
“Wow Mare, I never thought you’d return my feelings.”
Mary chuckled, the sound coloured with irony. “A year Rhoda, that is how long I’ve loved you. When you kissed me…I wanted it, but when you pulled away when I…touched you, and you looked so frightened… I was confused. I thought you regretted it…and then you were running...”
Rhoda was stunned. A year? Mary had loved for her for a year and her own insecurities and self-doubt nearly destroyed it before it could start.
“Oh Mare, I’m so sorry.” She moved her hand softly through Mary’s hair, enjoying the way Mary’s eyes closed briefly at her touch. “I guess I convinced myself you couldn’t possibly feel the same, I – well, I was a putz.” Rhoda snorted, shaking her head. “Thanks for not allowing me to run away.”
“Just don’t do it again.” Mary winked, and pulled Rhoda tightly against her for another kiss.
“Never,” Rhoda mumbled against her lips, savouring the feeling of holding Mary in her arms, and knowing this is what she wanted for the rest of her life.