Chapter Text
The Heda stood on the balcony, green eyes scanning the great city before her. She could already see villagers milling about, no doubt in preparation for tonight’s feast. Polis looked beautiful at dawn, as the orange red sky tided over the city and bathed it in a soft warm glow.
Lexa didn’t notice the sunrise though, not today- Ignoring everything as her fingers drummed a pattern on the railing, and her eyes darted around, looking nowhere and everywhere at the same time. In her mind she only thought of flaxen hair and blue eyes.
Months had passed since she had last seen Clarke, and the fayagon wound in her stomach was nothing but a scar. It tingled as she thought about it, and she allowed herself a sigh as she traced her fingers over the raised flesh. She closed her eyes at an onslaught of memories, of teary goodbyes and a trembling kiss, and she readied herself for the day. There was much to do before the Skaikru arrived.
Not more than two hours later, she stood at the gates to the holy city. War paint on her face, Indra at her side.
Lexa was good at hiding her emotions. She was Heda after all, and even if her people were happy and it was peacetime, she knew better than to seem weak.
So her face remained sculpted in an almost scowl as she tried to look as intimidating as she could.
Though, as the morning sun shone bright over the exhausted group of travelers entering Polis, it took everything in her to not run over to Clarke and kiss her in front of everyone, whisper sweet nothings into her hair and hold her close.
(She internally eyerolled at her own romantic musings)
She felt her heart somersault in joy, as her green eyes swept over her lover, she looked exhausted but she had that air of joy everyone in the group did, no doubt stemming from relief at the Civil War finally ending.
She bit her lip bashfully when Clarke returned her stare, a goddess on her white horse, bathed in the golden morning sunlight.
(She hoped her people didn’t notice how their Heda gasped)
As the group neared the gates, along with the joy and adrenaline surging through her, Lexa could feel the all too familiar vines of trepidation and insecurity tighten around her heart as she watched Clarke chat idly with Bellamy, riding next to her. It seemed Clarke was finally at peace, among her own people.
She wished someday she’d be able to have that with Clarke too, if Clarke gave her the chance.
She wanted Clarke to look at her and smile at her and talk to her.
(She wanted Clarke to love her)
The welcome was a formal affair. Lexa greeted each person almost mechanically, but she couldn’t help the small upturn of her lips when it was Clarke’s turn, couldn’t help how her voice husked out a welcome and her eyes glanced down to full lips.
She didn’t dare look into blue eyes just yet, afraid of what she’d find in them.
Back ramrod straight, she jumped on her horse, leading the group to the tower. Usually she would greet visitors in the throne room, but now there was no Titus to bristle in disapproval, no Nia to take advantage of her love, and so she met them at the gates.
Her voice boomed and echoed throughout the throne room as the skaikru stood before the mighty Heda. “You will go to your rooms and rest. My people have prepared a feast, to celebrate your victory. We will see you then.”
She watched as a guard escorted them to their rooms, glancing at Clarke for a second only to notice blue eyes looking at her with the same uncertainty that was probably reflected in her own, until she turned around and walked away with her friends.
(She didn’t notice the longing in Clarke’s eyes)
Lexa sat there, on her throne, for what felt like hours. Indra curiously watched her from her spot, not used to seeing her mighty Heda so clueless. She cleared her throat loudly. The General had watched the girl pine after Clarke for half a year. She was quite done with it.
“I’m sure Wanheda will be waiting for you in her room Heda.” She crooned, keeping her voice carefully neutral, ignoring the glare sent her way before Lexa almost ran after her lover.
She didn’t care much for the Sky girl. In Indra's eyes, she was too rash, too stubborn, Clarke and Lexa didn’t make sense.
But she saw what love did to her Heda.
Saw her soften at the edges into a leader who ruled for peace and not blood.
For happiness and not honor.
She watched Lexa grow into the wise leader she is, a leader empowered by her own heart and how she gave it away so wholly to ones she loved. It made her the Heda who brought the 12 clans to her feet.
She watched her Heda survive a bullet to her gut, a Heda who was so ready to die, all to come back to her love. That was strength, and it could never be weakness.
Most of all though, she hoped Heda got the happy ending she deserved.
Lexa had never been this nervous before in her life.
She was sure of it.
Not during the Conclave, not when she got shot, but right at this moment. Facing the large door separating her from her greatest wants and fears.
She raised up a hand to knock, before the door slowly creaked open, Clarke staring at her, a lopsided smile on her face, looking as beautiful as ever.
Lexa couldn’t help but stare dumbfounded. She lowered her arm slowly, looking as calm as ever, even though she was screaming inside.
“I heard your footsteps, I couldn’t wait any longer for you to knock. Come in Heda.”
Her voice was as Lexa remembered, husky and low and she still loved it. Her legs followed Clarke inside.
(She kept her eyes pointedly on the wooden walls)
Lexa had waited months for this moment. Rehearsed what she would say over and over in her head as she lay in her bed on lonely nights.
But now as she stared at Clarke, she blurted out the only thought in her head that repeated itself like a prayer.
“I love you.”
Blue eyes widened almost comically, and Lexa’s did too, in panic.
She summoned the power of the flame and the Hedas before her, to keep her calm.
Enough running from her feelings.
She was stripping herself bare in front of the one person who held her heart, and she won't hold back this time.
Because she got shot and she realized life was short and it was fleeting. And it shouldn't be wasted.
Because she spent 6 months worrying about Clarke before finally realizing that loving Clarke was the one true constant in her life.
So, ignoring the chill running up her spine even when Clarke didn't respond, she continued "I love you Clarke. I know it's been half a year and you may not feel the same anymore, but I love you and-"
She almost stumbled backwards from the unexpected weight , as Clarke barreled into her, warm hands gripping her waist and a puppyish nose nuzzling her neck as she was wrapped up in the fiercest hug of her life.
She finally looked down into ocean eyes that glistened, speaking a million words and doing oh so many things to Lexa's softened heart. Lexa stared into her lover’s eyes for a beat longer, searching for even a speck of doubt. Finding none, she gently dragged her nose up Clarkes’ and finally slotted their lips together. Nothing felt more like home than Clarke’s lips.
Lexa sighed into the kiss. There was no urgency this time. Only blonde hair tickling her face and warm hands hugging her close.
There was much to talk about, the real world demanded war and politics and meetings. The real world demanded their Heda. But right now nothing mattered except Clarke.
All coherent thought left her though, when she felt Clarke trail her kisses lower.
She felt a muffled “I love you.” Against her neck as soft lips kissed her there, and she realized what it means to truly live.