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Sleepless nights were no stranger to Kotone. She’d grown up spending her evenings waiting for midnight, longing for the eerie thrill of what she now knew was the Dark Hour just to feel she was alive. However, even though she consequently became accustomed to its presence, adapting to its physical strain had a few unfortunate consequences. Kotone could still remember the first time she, alongside Yukari and Junpei, entered and fought in Tartarus. The rush that she’d gotten from fighting for her life was completely unlike the thrill she got from sitting on her bedroom window when she was little. Tartarus had been so exhilarating he could not help how much fun she had. In spite of that, the exhaustion that followed was not enjoyable. She had passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow and almost missed her alarm that morning, paired with waking up to an insurmountable soreness in her body.
However, that was over 5 months ago; and the many nights the team had spent battling and climbing through the seemingly-peakless tower only served to improve their resistance to fatigue (which should really be a good thing) and ruin their circadian rhythms. This was especially apparent on nights they didn’t spend progressing. No matter how much she busied herself, the sweet embrace of sleep would continue to evade the combat commander of SEES.
Kotone had gotten back fairly late, just before the otherwise unenforced curfew, having run a few errands at the Paulownia Mall – picking up supplies from the pharmacy and updating some of their equipment at the police station with officer Kurosawa – and even running into Tanaka on her way back to the Station. Upon arriving at the dorm and distributing the newly purchased items, she bid her teammates goodnight and headed up to her room, making sure to stop and give Koromaru, who was sitting contentedly by his empty food bowl, his well-deserved pets and belly rubs. Once showered and settled, Kotone spent a good few minutes tossing and turning in her bed, still far too energized to sleep.
And that was thusly how she came to spend the rest of her night slowly slipping into the delirium of sleeplessness.
She’d gotten out if bed with a mildly annoyed grumble, taking care to keep the Jack Frost doll she’d gotten from Akihiko during the summer festival tucked in, and decided that maybe rearranging her closet would tire her out enough. With summer quickly coming to a close, Kotone took out all her related clothing, folded them up and momentarily set them aside on her bed as she worked on moving her winter clothes to the forefront before finally putting them back into the once-occupied spaces. Unfortunately for Kotone, however, this had nothing for her exhaustion. Or rather, her lack thereof.
Surely cleaning her room would do the trick, right?
Wrong.
Kotone had been in the midst of cleaning her bedroom sink when the clock struck midnight and the Dark Hour oh so kindly took it upon itself to morph her delightfully lemon-scented cleaning agent into a most vile and rancid, approximation of a liquid that came with a horrific, nausea-inducing stench. Not wanting to be induced with said nausea but also not wanting to leave her project unfinished, she decided to wait out the stationary hour by working on a phone charm that she had promised Yukari. It was a fairly simple trinket, its main body something she’d already finished in the sewing club with Bebe, but it still needed a bit of detail work.
When she finished, Kotone held up the charm by its strap, lifting it to the gigantic, sickeningly yellow light of the waxing moon, and observed her handiwork. She would definitely give it another look later on to make sure she had not missed anything, however she could not deny the helpfulness of the bright Dark Hour moon in its completion.
The world turned to normal soon after and Kotone resumed her quest to end her sleep-deprivation, picking up where she left off with her sink and continuing with the rest of her room.
Still her endeavors were fruitless. Sitting on her desk chair with her leg shaking in agitation, unamused eyes scanned over the sparkling expanse of her newly cleaned room. Through all her rummaging and puttering about, Kotone had not managed to find a singular speck of sleepiness. She checked her phone, curious how long her plight had been going on for. It read 01:07 AM .
She couldn’t help the small, defeated sob that escaped her. “I just want to sleep!”
Kotone turned to face her desk, fingers crossed at her pursed lips, eyes narrowed at the homework she had set aside to do over the weekend as she considered her options. Was she really so desperate that her solution was to NOT procrastinate on her studies? … The answer was yes, but she wasn’t exactly too thrilled about it being her last resort. Still, if anything would knock her out, it had to be the book report they had to write for Mr. Ekoda, or the math problems they had to solve for Ms. Miyahara, or even the text passage they had to correct for Ms. Toriumi.
Unfortunately for Kotone, somehow, be it through godly intervention or her own prowess despite her sleep-deprivation, she managed to finish everything in a little less than two hours. Her eyes that had previously glared at her pile of homework now gazed in bewilderment at the empty space left behind by their accomplishment.
There was nothing left. Kotone had done all that she could in terms of tiring herself out. Her shoulders slumped as she crawled back into her bed, moving carefully once more so as to preserve the peace of her Jack Frost doll, and laid herself down beside it. She stared emptily at the ceiling, her eyelids refusing to drop and stay closed. Before long, the undisturbed Jack Frost doll ended up being disturbed as she sat it on her chest. Perhaps it was due to the delirium of her lack of sleep or the defeated hopelessness in the face of it, but the little spots above her had started looking like little stars and Kotone had thought maybe she and her little Jack Frost doll could bond over searching for – or in this case, making up – some constellations and fall asleep under their false canopy of stars together.
Needless to say, that did not work either. She lost interest nearly as soon as she started and, after a moment of silence, sat up with a rather loud groan.
Her innocent Jack Frost doll was not spared from her frustrations. Kotone’s hands wrapped around its neck, wringing it mercilessly before then tossing it to the floor. “Just let me sleep, GOD!”
The discarded Jack Frost doll fell with a soft thud, landing on its back. It looked up at her, little, black bead eyes staring into the depths of her soul. Whether from the unjust treatment it had just received or due to the simple fact that it was merely a regular doll, it did not scold Kotone for her horrible behavior. Rather, it was its silence paired with its piercing gaze that moved her to guilt for her cruelty.
“Sorry, sorry,” she finally apologized with a sigh as she got out of bed, picking up the wronged Jack Frost doll and giving it a pat on the head. “You didn’t deserve that. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s not you, it’s me.” Kotone hoped that it would find it in its heart to forgive her.
Maybe if it did have a heart, it would have. However, it did not, so there was nothing for it to forgive.
Her phone lit up then, beeping with the notification of a new message.
From: Da Man™
> roflmao xD 3:11AM
It did not surprise her in the least that Junpei of all people was still up at 3 AM. If she had to guess, he had probably spent the whole night goofing off, reading manga or playing video games. However, it did concern that she was apparently loud enough in her frustration for her friend to be able to overhear her from the floor below and message her about it.
Kotone hoped she didn’t wake the others.
T_T all ik is suffering OTL <
> m guna go to 777 wna cme w?
@ 3AM?!?!?!?! <
> ran outta snaxs
… <
g <
She’d only thought about it for a second before agreeing, wondering if there would be any consequences coming their way if Mitsuru found out that they’d gone out in the middle of the night. Instinct told her that it was probable. On the other hand, she also knew Akihiko got up really, really early to go jogging, so maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal. Or, they could just tell Mitsuru right away and she’d let them off the hook. Assuming they got in trouble, of course.
Either way it was a problem for future them.
Kotone opted to just throw a hoodie over her pajamas, not finding any good reason to change out of her comfortable clothes for something that wasn’t. At 3AM, it didn’t seem like the most necessary thing. After slipping on her socks and sneakers, she grabbed her wallet and keys from her bedside table and was nearly out the door when she caught sight of her hastily laid down Jack Frost doll on her bed.
She stared at it for a good while, thinking about whether or not she should take it with her. Her mind flashed back to her previous harassment of the poor thing and her decision was made.
The Jack Frost doll was placed in the pouch formed by her hood, looking out to the world behind her, and then they were off.
“So,” Junpei started once they were out of the dormitory walls, “how come you’re up at this ungodly hour? Doesn’t seem like something you’d normally subject yourself to.”
Kotone held her face in her hands, shoulders shaking in an over-dramatization of her predicament. “I’ve been trying to sleep ever since I went up to my room, but I just have too much energy still. At this point, I’m fairly convinced that sleep might be a myth invented by big mattress to sell more beds.”
If he had any concerns about her mental state, Junpei did not voice them. “Right… And the plushie?” he pointed at the item in question, sitting comfortably in her hood and bopping with every step she took.
“I owe it an apology,” she responded simply, as though most others would comprehend needing to apologize to a plush toy as an event that occurred commonly. In truth, she was sparing her friend – who was eyeing her with increasing concern – from the tales showcasing the depths of her cruelty. He didn’t need to know. Instead, she shot his initial question back at him to change the topic. “How about you? What’re you doing up?”
“Uh, well,” his eyes shifted from her, “I actually fell asleep watching this late night soap opera – I couldn’t find anything else on TV that was interesting, okay?” he defended himself before she could even accuse him of anything. Not that Kotone would have. Frankly, to her at least, liking some bad TV drama was a lot less deplorable than strangling an innocent toy. Although, she was certain he thought the opposite.
Considering his ego, she curved the desire to ask what the show was about, choosing instead to nod quietly and continue to listen.
“Anyway, I fell asleep like halfway through and when I woke up again it was right after the Dark Hour ended. This loudass infomercial played, nearly gave me a heart attack.” He scratched the back of his head, shrugging. “I felt too awake to go back to bed so I ended up just grinding on Innocent Sin.”
They arrived at 777 then, a crisp, air-conditioned breeze hitting them as Kotone pushed open the door, using her entire body weight as leverage. They said a quiet greeting to the graveyard shift employee who responded with a nod before turning back to the magazine they had been reading. Junpei disappeared into the snack aisle, basket in hand. Meanwhile, Kotone stood in front of the slushie machine. It would seem that the night would keep testing her. What little hope she had for even a wink of sleep would vanish without a trace should she let herself indulge in the temptation of sweet, frozen slush. However, it was nearing 4AM, and 4AM was close enough to her usual waking hour anyway that getting some shut-eye at that point would be far more detrimental to her performance during the day.
She took a deep breath, a new resolve burning in her eyes as she got herself the largest slushie cup. If she was going to consume sugar as her life force, then she may as well consume enough to power an entire squadron of kindergartners. And, she decided as Razzleberry Dazzle slowly filled half of her cup, she may as well make it a fun time. With that, the remaining half was filled with a carefully calculated amount of Blueberry Blues so as to avoid any spilling.
After quickly paying for her slushie, Kotone walked up to Junpei who, despite his full basket, still seemed in deliberation over something.
“Do you think I could get away with getting Ken these chips with the little Feathermen in them if I say I bought two and say I ended up not liking the flavor?” He asked when she finally stood next to him, holding the two bags of chips in each hand.
Kotone took a long sip from her ice drink, thinking. “To be honest, I’m pretty sure he’d figure you out right away, but he’d appreciate it. That you went out of your way to, like, not treat him like a kid, I mean.”
“Yeeeaaah,” Junpei dropped both chipbags in his basket. “I don't really get why he’s so against being treated like a kid. If I could be a kid being spoiled by the people around me, I’d totally go for it.”
Both of them made their way back to the counter, Kotone shrugging in response to Junpei’s statement. “I mean, losing your parents will do that to you.” It was perhaps too cruel of a counter-argument, Junpei even gave her a look that said as much, but she didn’t acknowledge it. “Though, it’s probably more that he’s the only grade schooler at our dorm and that’s making him sort of insecure about it.”
Junpei nodded, looking away from and toward each item being rung up by the cashier. “That makes sense, but still… I dunno, I just think that he shouldn’t force himself to act like a grown-up. He’s a kid and he should get to be a kid as much as he can.” He scratched the back of his head, a distant look in his eyes.
“You’re right about that, at least,” Kotone took another thoughtful sip from slushie. “That’s why I think that Ken really does appreciate all of us looking out for him. It’s not like we’re being overbearing and telling him what he can and can’t do. Plus, we all know he’s super into Featherman anyway, even if he’s too embarrassed to admit it.
The cashier handed Junpei his bag of items, and after duly paying for them, the pair was on their way out. This time, Junpei held the door open for Kotone, ushering out with a playful push.
“I’d ask if you were feeling any tired, but,” he eyed the dwindling amount of slushie in her cup, “it looks like you gave up.”
Kotone crinkled her nose, pouting. “I’d be in for a worse fate later if I only slept an hour.”
Junpei gave a lighthearted laugh. “Just make sure you get some actual rest before we go back to Tartarus. You could catch some Z’s during Mr. E’s class for sure, and,” he stuck a hand in his snack bag, rummaging around, “here! Can’t have you passing out on the job leader,” after finding what he was looking for, Junpei tossed one of the items he’d just bought at Kotone who caught it by hugging it to her chest. “I got you one of those strawberry-coated pretzels.”
“Oh, thanks,” she blinked at him, watching as he sat himself down on a parking bumper. “You didn’t have to, though.”
“Eh,” he shrugged, his head leaning to the side, “I wanted to. Besides,” Jumper shifted around where he sat, making room for Kotone to occupy enough space next to him, “I kinda owe ya one, anyway.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, holding up what he’d just given to her. “You owe me a bag of pretzels?”
He gave her a light shove in response, displacing the Jack Frost doll in her hood. “No, you dumbass! I…” he trailed off, looking at the ground. “I wanted to apologize.”
Kotone adjusted herself, taking the plushie out of her hood and keeping it, and the pretzels, close to her chest by leaning forward and hugging her knees. She rested her head on top of her Jack Frost doll’s, craning her neck to look at her friend. “What for?”
“Well, uh,” Junpei looked back at her momentarily before letting his face fall to his hands in, what Kotone assumed to be, frustration at himself. “I just wanted to say sorry for the way I treated you, especially in the beginning.” He lifted his head, not looking at her. “Whining about you getting picked as the leader, even saying stuff like ‘but she’s a girl’,” his own tone as he recalled his previous statement was mocking, “wasn’t very cool of me. I mean, that really doesn’t matter. Hell, you and Mitsuru-senpai kick total ass at it! It’s just,” he took a moment to breathe, slouching as he sighed. “This isn’t an excuse, but you know how in shounen anime or manga the protagonist is usually some loser comic relief?”
“Mhm,” Kotone nodded. She’d been listening intently the entire time. Even when she was first getting to know him, Junpei didn’t like to get too vulnerable and, even when he did, preferred to divert the attention away from him by making jokes. With that in mind, Kotone appreciated how honest he was being, knowing that it likely wasn’t easy for him to come to terms with his own faults.
“Well,” he continued, “ I thought that, since I was already the designated loser comic relief, maybe I could be like that. Maybe I could be special.” A hollow sound, barely even a laugh, left him as he looked up at the starless sky. “I was insecure and jealous, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
His eyes briefly met hers, sincerity shining through as the brightness of the streetlamp light hit them. Kotone smiled, stretching her legs out as she leaned back, the palms of her hands meeting gravel, setting her long-empty slushie cup aside. In a way, she was extremely proud of her friend. Only half a year had gone by since they’d met and in that short amount of time Kotone had observed a lot of growth in Junpei. He still had the occasional slip-up – such as the recent incident with Chidori – but he was getting there.
Although…
Kotone hummed. “Hm, I dunno… I feel like you owe me way more than just a pack of pretzels for that. Like, maybe at least three?” she grinned at him.
Junpei gawked at her in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” he said, watching her tear open the packet of the aforementioned snack. “If you wanna, like, shit on me for how I’ve acted, I’f totally get it, y’know? Hell, I’m surprised you never have!”
“Sure,” she started with a shrug, taking a single pretzel out and biting parts of it, “but what good would that have done?” Kotone thought back to the incident with the monorail when Junpei had charged ahead on his own. “I doubt you’d have been receptive to any criticism from me at the time.”
“Hah!” it was a self-deprecating sound. “That’s so true,” he admitted. “Even if I knew you were right, I’d have been really petty and a huge pain in the ass about it.”
There was a momentary silence between them as Kotone nibbled away on her pretzels, occasionally reaching over to offer her friend some. “I also thought that,” she spoke up again after downing a few, “since your issue felt like it was more than just with me, that it was something you needed to figure out on your own,” Junpei had been in the middle of taking out a handful of pretzels then. “Like, if your problem was with me specifically, then we could’ve talked about what was wrong with me and I could’ve made an effort to avoid doing whatever it was that was pissing you off, ya know?”
Junpei, halfway though shoving a pretzel in his mouth, looked flabbergasted at her, his brows furrowed in confusion. “First of all,” he waved the pretzel he’d been holding as though he’d sassily snapped his fingers at her, “there’s nothing wrong with you. Second,” he finally ate it, “you are way too nice and patient with people. I’ve always thought this, but don’t you just wanna go apeshit? Like, just snap and go feral! I would support you.”
Kotone broke out into a laughing fit at that, cackling at his suggestion and encouragement. “It’s not like I haven’t?” She thought back to previous instances when she just couldn’t take it anymore, like those incidents with darling Saori. “ And,” she reached out to the moon, “that’s what the Dark Hour is for!”
His shoulders slumped in defeat. “I guess you do get real gung-ho whenever we’re in Tartarus or have a big mission,” there was a bit of exasperation in his voice as he spoke.
Eventually, Junpei got up, slapping his knees and pushing himself up before dusting off whatever dirt got on him from sitting on concrete. “Well, we should head back. The others’re prolly gonna wake up soon.”
“Help me up?” Kotone stretched her hands out, holding her Jack Frost doll in one hand and the empty pretzel packet in the other. Wordlessly, Junpei pulled her up by her wrists, her hopping to her feet as she stood. She dusted herself off just as well and disposed of her trash before falling into step next to him.
The walk back to the dorm was fairly peaceful. She had asked him about Chidori and took delight in how giddy he got when talking about his little crush. It was nice, she thought in the midst of their conversation, that she could have such a rough start with someone and still end up being really close friends with them. For all the times that he had snapped at her, there were even more times where it was evident that he respected and cared for her.
Still, maybe it would be okay to tease him about it sometimes.