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“got a surrpprise for you :)”
“What kind of surprise?”
“smothinng rally special (winky face)”
“meet me @ the church wth the gold cross on top”
“were yur uniform.”
Clark stared at Lois’s strange set of messages, holding his phone overly close to his face and pulling off his glasses to get a better look.
“… I thought Lois was just going out for a walk?” Clark asked to the world in general. He shrugged and floated up from the pool floatie he had been drifting on. He shook off the water and walked into the large and extremely fancy honeymoon suite Bruce had insisted on renting for Lois and Clark.
He smiled at the photo sitting on their nightstand- it was him, Lois, Bruce and Selina at the double wedding in Smallville. He could barely believe that it had only been a week!
The two happy couples had gone their separate ways for the Las Vegas honeymoon. There were a few tag-alongs as well, the Kents who were on their fifth honeymoon, and Diana, who’d come for the wedding and figured she might as well tag along if Bruce was going to use his private plane anyway.
Clark shucked off his swim trunks and pulled his crest out the lining of his suitcase- one of the benefits of flying in Bruce’s private plane, meant no trying to get his uniform through airport security. He pressed the crest to his chest and his uniform flowed over him. He clicked on his iron cuffs and pulled on his boots, double checking his knives. He took a moment at the mirror to double-check he was presentable, before walking out to the patio with the pool.
He let himself drift upward, taking a moment to enjoy the glittering lights of the Vegas strip and the sounds of people laughing and drinking and partying. He remembered which Church Lois was talking about, she had pointed it out as they were driving by on the way from the airport to the hotel.
It took only a few moments to get there, despite him giving into the urge to do a couple of loop-de-loops, still high on happiness because he was married now!
He pushed open the grand double doors of the church.
Lois was standing at the foot of the aisle in her wedding dress, holding a bouquet of flowers.
“What took you so long?” she playfully teased.
“Lois? What is this?” He panned his gaze across the church, flipping through spectra like pages in a book. He spotted Cat-Woman, Batman and Wonder Woman sitting in the pews near the front of the church, and the officiant, who was dressed as Elvis (because Vegas) standing at the altar.
“Remember how you said you were sad that you wouldn’t be able to marry me as superman? Only as you-know-who?” Lois said, smiling.
Superman blinked, then his face lit up with a blinding smile, and he scooped Lois up into an embrace, flying up and spinning her around. He planted noisy kisses all over her face, as they drifted back towards the ground. He set her back on her feet, and bounced in midair, unable to contain his happiness.
“Thank you! thank you! Thank you, Lois!” he started to glow, dim at first, then bright as a warm summer’s day, backlit from the inside.
“Don’t just thank me, thank Bats too. I came up with the idea and he came up with the money to make it possible.” She squinted at the sudden glow coming of her husband/finance “Also, uh, your glowing?”
Superman ran a hand through his hair, making it lay flat for a moment before floating back up “If I’m so… overjoyed I can’t contain it anymore, I start to glow! It happened less and less as I grew up, I-I honestly thought I couldn’t do it anymore!” He spun in midair, so happy he just couldn’t help himself.
The officiant cleared his throat “Um… the church is rented by the hour, everyone.”
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The officiant was having the weirdest day ever.
He had been wrapping up for the day, only for the doors to be slammed open.
A lady in a Wonder Woman costume stood in the doorway, holding the massive doors open.
A woman in a wedding dress ducked under her arm, carrying a black cat.
She was followed by some sort of living shadow… with demon horns? That somehow wasn’t burning on holy ground?
He knew he should have had the blessings renewed when the bishop was passing through!
“Can I help you?” he asked, leaning the broom against the wall.
“Are you the owner of this establishment?” the Wonder Woman lady asked, stepping close and forcing him to tilt his head all the way back.
“Y-yes m-ma’m. H-how ma-may I help ya-you?” he squeaked. She was very, very tall, and her biceps were the size of his head!
“Are you capable of performing the marriage rights of the World of Man?” she asked. Her voice was on the deep side and very commanding.
He had to swallow a few times to get his voice to work,“y-yes ma’m.”
Her face lit up in a beaming smile and she put a massive hand on his shoulder “Good! Priest, I have two friends that wish to be married. You will be paid handsomely for your services.” She looked down and to the side. The priest nearly jumped out of his skin, seeing that the-the creature had crept up on him.
It reached into it’s cloak and pulled out a small dirty burlap sack, stained with substances he did not want to think about and handed it to wonder-woman lady. She opened the sack and pulled out stacks of cash, more than the bag should be able to hold. She placed the money onto the table next to him and his eyes went wide- this was enough money to keep him ticking over for years!
“This must be done with the utmost discretion. No-one outside of this room can ever know this wedding took place. If you agree to this, that money is half of your payment. You will receive the other half when your services are complete.”
The priest took a moment to think. This was probably not a good idea… but that was a lot of money. Enough to pay for his partner’s medication for the rest of the years they had together. Enough for him to retire and for the two of them to live comfortably.
He cleared his throat and stood up straight, looking wonder woman lady in the eyes “Yes. I’ll do it. I need three witnesses. Where is the couple?”
Wonder Woman lady looked calmer and she took a step back, out of his personal space.
The lady in the wedding dress piped up “Texting him now, he should only be a few minutes.”
Wonder-Woman lady went to check on wedding dress lady, and as he turned around to go prepare, the creature was suddenly right in his face!
He stumbled backward in surprise, bumped into a pew and fell.
The creature rose up above him, its wings spread out, and flowing, wriggling around him, eyes glowing brightly.
“̴Ḇ͉̪r̔ͅe̺̘̪ạ̺̄̋t̩̱̼̾̓̆h ͯṉ̀̊ͅó͇̻̠͑̚t͍̪̒̇ ̪͙a̱ͩ ͓̞̈͋w̟ͣorͯ̃d͇͖̩ͧͨ̚ o͎f͇̝̼ͧ̂̄ ͇ͧth̊i̻̝̹s.̺͒ ͇͔͖ͫͯ̓Tŏ ̳͕̱ͨ͊ͫa̘̦̱ͯ̊ͩn̋̌y̦ͪon̰̰͎̍͒̅e.” it growled, lips pulling back in a snarl, barring terrifyingly sharp fangs.
“O-ok. My lips are sealed.” He squeaked and the creature backed off, letting him stand. “Not telling anyone… can I at least tell my partner that the money came from a wedding rather that something illegal?”
The creature took a moment to think, its wings rippling as it thought. It nodded once, slowly, then darted off. It ran up the wall and into the rafters, where it perched on a beam.
“Alright, the groom will be here soon. I told him it was non-emergency so he’ll be a few minutes.” Wedding dress lady approached him.
“Alright, Mr Elvis.” She clapped her hands and he flinched at the sound “My name is Lois Lane, you’ll know the groom when you see him.” She shrugged off a shoulder bag and pulled out two thin gold-looking….crowns? tied to a pillow. “We’ll be using these in place of rings, cultural thing. They’re called circlets. Also, both the groom and myself will be keeping our maiden names.”
He took the pillow carefully, “I-i’ll take this to the -the front of the church” he said, and did just that, getting into position by the alter.
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Superman floated down carefully, until his feet were on the ground. He stumbled slightly as his hair stopped drifting.
“You don’t have to walk, sweetheart.” Lois said, placing a hand on his arm.
“I want to, it’s a very special occasion and just for a few minutes.” She nodded and he offered her his arm, and they slowly started up the isle together.
As they did, the wedding march started to play from somewhere.
The church wasn’t large, so they reached the front quickly.
“A-ahem! We are gathered here together, to witness the marriage of Ka-El and Lois Lane.”
“Should anyone have reason that they should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace!”
The church was silent as the grave, as the priest waited the request amount of time.
“Now, we will witness the saying of the vows. Groom, repeat after me:”
Kal-El was grinning ear to ear as he repeated the vows after the priest, so excited he was having trouble speaking slowly and clearly, rather than rushing
“I Kal-El, take you, Lois Lane, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow.”
“Bride, repeat after me:”
Lois looked just as giddy, but had no trouble speaking clearly despite her excitement “I Lois Lane, take you, Kal-El, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow.”
“With these-uh- circlets we represent the vow of marriage between these two individuals.”
He picked up the pillow off the alter and held it out to the couple. They both took it, and Lois trusted her husbands grip as she undid the ribbon and lifted one of the circlets from the pillow. It was a simple golden band, with a single blue diamond set into the center.
Kal-el bowed, and she gently placed it on his head. It fit perfectly.
Kal-El untied the other and lifted it from the pillow, it was simple, un-adorned gold. Kal-El treated it as if it was made of glass as he set it upon Lois’s brow.
“By the power vested in me by God, the state of Nevada and American Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Clark and Lois shared a chaste kiss, then turned the witness and whooped in excitement, punching the air.
They ran down the aisle, and Lois threw the bouquet, Cat-Woman catching it out of the air. Cat Woman waggled an eyebrow at Batman and Batman … blushed?
“Now! Abduct me, my Alien!” Lois said, raising her arms out of the way, so that her new husband could scoop her up bridle style. He scooped her up, and they flew off into the evening sun, giggling in delight.
The church was left in silence after the happy couple flew out the door. Batman pulled the sack of money out of it’s cape and threw it at the priest, who caught it awkwardly, holding it to his chest.
“Wi͉ͬth͐ e̮̒x͈̖̖ͩ̎̂ẗ̝̖́̒r̞͕̼͑̿ͫa.̀ F̞́o̱͑r̞͓̱̾ͯ̍ ̞ͩsͣi̱̦ḽ̤̖enc̖̘ͣ̚ḙ̳̐̐.̻”
Cat-Woman turned back into a cat, and Batman scooped her into his cape. Wonder Woman held the door open for them, then closed it behind herself with surprising delicacy.
“Ok. Bye.” The priest said, as the strange people finally left.
…He was gonna put up the “Closed due to Family emergency” sign, go home and lie down.