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Harry looked forward to going to Hogwarts like any other child. Maybe more, considering he performed his first accidental magic quite late. Avril and Iris, his sisters, outperformed him on that part. Just as he had gotten disheartened, he levitated a book right on Iris’ head. His mum got angry with him but his dad celebrated the achievement.

So when his Hogwarts letter arrived, he was ready.

Having someone he already knew, Neville, made him less nervous about going there. That didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous at all, he just forced himself to act confident and cool all the time,including the platform. You wouldn’t catch him worried. He wanted to build up an image after all. Having to live up to Sirius’ expectations was no easy thing.

His parents hugged Harry goodbye. Iris just waved at him. She and Harry fought like no tomorrow everyday but Harry had to admit he would miss her. Avril, the only one who caught on to his anxiety, squeezed his hand reassuringly. Avril had always been the mature one.

Finishing his goodbyes, Harry boarded the train and decided to find Neville first. He went by the compartments, peeking inside in search of him. He stopped when he heard a loud voice declare: “Oh, right. This is Neville. He’s kind of my best friend.”

“Kind of?” Neville’s voice said in reply and Harry recognised a foreign cheekiness there.

“Oh, of course I am joking, Nev!” The other voice said and Harry felt a chill run through him. He bit his lip, put on a smug face and swung the door open.

On one side of the compartment sat Neville, his face smiling and all nerves about going to Hogwarts seemingly gone. Opposite him sat a blond boy with long hair, neatly pulled in a ponytail. Bangs fell on his forehead, decorating his gray-blue eyes. In truth, Harry couldn’t tell if his eyes were gray or blue. All he knew was that they looked at him with a fiery feeling that made Harry feel something inside.

Harry forced himself to tear his eyes away and direct them back to Neville. Ignoring his inner turmoil, he greeted his friend nonchalantly. Adding in the usual teasing. Not waiting for an answer, he sat down next to Neville, who gave him an eye roll.

Harry looked expectantly at Neville. Intentionally avoiding looking at the blond boy across from them. He saw Neville make a face at the boy and then lean towards him to whisper in his ear. Harry didn’t catch what he said.

“Whispering behind my back, Neville? I thought you were better than that.” Harry forced out a loud laugh. He finally turned his gaze back at the boy with the fiery eyes and only then did he notice the ginger boy right next to him. “And who are you guys?” He faked indifference.

The ginger looked all around timidly. The blond spoke up.

“I’m Draco. And this is Ron. Speaking of which, does that bird’s nest on your head have a name or should I call it Flyaway Potter?”

Harry felt his cheeks warm at the tone.

The boy, Draco, smirked and Harry felt the need to draw more expressions out of his angelic face.

Realising he had fallen silent for too long, Harry aimed for some light conversation. “What are you two by the way? Halfbloods?”

Unlike Ron’s simple and straightforward answer of, “a pureblood, actually,” Draco gave the most cryptic answer he could.

“What does it depend on? I’m just asking if your parents are wizards or not.” Harry frowned.

“Now, now, don’t yell, Potter. My delicate ears might just fall off at this excess noise.”

“Wh- You are impossible. Who do you even think you are?” Harry felt a foreign exhilaration. Somehow, he didn’t even feel insulted.

“Hm, let’s see, maybe I am a fairy, considering how pretty I am.”

“You—” Harry didn’t know what he was feeling, but he wanted more of it. Draco lit a fire in him and Harry wanted to touch it even if he got burnt.

Their argument was cut short by the appearance of two older boys who resembled Ron in ways that made their relationship evident.

“So we heard Draco Black is in here and came to peek at him!” One of them said.

Harry froze. The two boys, twins from the looks of it, spoke to Draco some more but Harry had no ears for them. His eyes had locked themselves on Draco.

Everyone knew that name. Could it really be the Boy-Who-Lived? He had to make sure. He didn’t know what prompted him to launch himself on Draco.

“What the—”

“I knew it.” Harry stated numbly as he shoved Draco’s bangs aside. “You are Draco Malfoy. The boy who lived.”

Draco shoved Harry away. Not given a chance to find his footing, Harry fell to the ground.

He looked up. Draco glared at him. Before Harry could react in any way, Draco gripped a chunk of his hair.

“Listen to me, Potter.” Draco spat out. “You can call me Black or Tonks or whatever else you want, but never, ever, call me Malfoy again. Or I will have your head on a silver platter, understood?”

Harry gulped. His tongue had gone numb and he couldn’t speak a word.

“Understood, Potter?” Draco repeated with blaring eyes.

Harry nodded, lost for words and promptly planted in place. At Draco’s prompting, he returned to his seat and spent the rest of the journey trying and failing to understand why instead of fear, he could only feel exhilaration.

~~~

While on the boats, Harry found that Ron and he were compatible. Greg and Vincent, who had sat with them, remained silent at first but after Ron started talking about food, they got very chatty. Harry couldn’t help searching for Draco with his eyes the whole time. Even in the darkness, his bright blond hair made it easy to spot him.

When Harry found out Draco had become friends with Theodore Nott, Harry felt sick. Everyone knew Nott’s family had helped You-Know-Who in the first Wizarding War. Which meant that Draco should hate him, detest him, definitely not befriend him.

Harry could feel his heart constrict in an ugly way. He felt something vile rise up in him. Similar to those times Sirius played more with his sisters instead of him. This, however, burnt him more.

The feeling persisted as they moved to the Great Hall and waited to be sorted. Harry knew quite well where he was going. His parents and his godfather had all been in Gryffindor. It was the obvious choice and Harry felt ready for it. He had to make Sirius proud, after all.

The hat took forever to decide where to put Draco and Harry watched with ardent attention. He didn’t want to admit how much he wished for Draco to be a Gryffindor. But when the hat, after what felt like forever, announced ‘Slytherin!’ in a loud voice, Harry’s heart sank. Gryffindors and Slytherins do not get along. They were enemies. Sirius and Professor Snape — who was a close friend of his mum — portrayed a great example of the hostility between the houses.

When Neville got Gryffindor, Harry smiled. At least they would be together in this. If he was lucky, Neville would keep being friends with Draco and Harry could hang out with him again. Not that he necessarily wanted to hang out with Draco, of course.

When the hat also yelled ‘Gryffindor!’ for Theodore Nott, Harry’s eyes widened in horror. Would he have to share a dorm with him? Oh, for Merlin’s sake, what was wrong with the hat?

Harry heard his name being called and marched for the stool. When McGonagall put the hat on him, he expected an immediate answer. It didn’t come.

“Oh, this is an interesting one as well. Why, you look quite brave, I have to admit, and coming from a family of Gryffindors too but… there’s something else to you. Something stronger. An urge you can’t stop. The urge to be the best. The urge to succeed. The urge to stand out. I see it all.”

“No.” Harry thought violently. He knew the hat was right though. It was true he had maintained a rivalry with his sisters. He always wanted to be the best. Sometimes, he used underhanded tactics to best them. He wanted to be the best here too. But, in essence, he was brave. Surely he was brave and—

“You show bravery but not honour. You don’t obsess about fairness. You would do whatever to reach your ambitions. I dare say the answer’s quite clear—”

“No.” Harry bit his lip. He couldn’t get into Slytherin. Sirius would kill him. His parents would be disappointed. Slytherin was the house of dark wizards.

His eyes trailed to the green table and met Draco’s. He looked at him with indifference yet Harry never wanted to stop looking at those eyes.

“SLYTHERIN!”

Harry’s eyes widened in alarm. He looked first upwards towards the hat, then at the Hall and then at Professor McGonagall. He pleaded with his eyes. A plea to be allowed in her house.

She shook her head.

Defeated, Harry made his way to the Slytherin table, feeling like all of this was somehow Draco’s fault.

Harry chose to sit on the same side of the table as Draco but he stayed at the edge of it. Keeping his distance from Draco and all other Slytherins. He didn’t feel welcome there. He didn’t think he would ever feel welcome between the snakes.

He barely registered when Ron also came to the Slytherin table. Frankly, the rest of the night was a big blur until he heard someone clear his throat behind him. Preparing himself for a fight, he turned around only to see Draco there. His body relaxed.

“Need company?” Draco said.

“What?” Harry frowned. He had been convinced Draco hated him too much after that interaction with Theodore Nott.

“Nothing.” Draco smiled and sat down next to him.

Harry stared at him, knowing he was acting like an idiot.

Draco sighed again. “Just eat your food, Potter. My mum’s a Slytherin and I am still alive. That’s proof enough that the food isn’t poisoned.”

Harry blinked, then looked at his still full plate. “Ah… No… This isn’t…”

“Just eat, Potter. It’s not the end of the world.”

Harry looked down at his food and took a bite, then he let the fork fall right back down to the plate. After a beat, he finally let the words leave his mouth.

“My dad is going to kill me.”

“I think you will be fine.”

“My godfather is going to kill me!” Harry let his head rest on his hands.

“That, I can assure you, won’t happen. Uncle Remus will have him murdered before that.” Draco said, chirpily.

“Wait, you know my godfather and Remus?” He might as well have ‘surprise’ written on his forehead.

“Duh! I am Neville’s best friend? And also my mum and Uncle Sirius are cousins.”

“Th-that makes sense, I suppose.”

“Don’t worry that much about your parents.” Draco smiled. “They will understand.”

“I’m sure you are super satisfied with being a Slytherin, huh? A dream come true?”

Draco arched an eyebrow, a flat look. “My dad and my sister are Hufflepuffs, you know.”

“What?” That was certainly not written in the history book.

“Potter, my dad’s name is Ted Tonks.” Draco pointed out.

Oh. Right. He’s adopted. Harry felt embarrassed for forgetting that. He had already made the big mistake of calling him ‘Malfoy’, he didn’t want to get on his bad side even more.

“Now, get to eating, Potter.”

Harry didn’t argue further. He liked that he didn’t have to eat alone.

Through the rest of dinner, Draco and he shared a few more words. It certainly made Harry feel better about getting into Slytherin. Maybe Draco was right and this wasn’t the end of the world after all.

Draco dragged him to the dormitory and all the time, Harry couldn’t explain how Draco’s hand around his arm made him feel. It was pretty late though and Harry might well be dreaming about it. He would have to figure that out tomorrow. He fell asleep as soon as his body hit the bed.

~~~

The next morning, Harry walked to the Great Hall with great apprehension about the morning mail. But Draco had been right. His parents weren’t angry. It felt like a great load was pulled from his back. His hate for Slytherins seemed to disappear along with it.

After his talk with Pansy Parkinson, Draco began stabbing his bread with a fork. Again, and again, and again. Harry wanted to ask what happened, but he had a feeling the fork would leave the bread and go for his eye instead.

Suddenly, Draco turned his way, took a look at his face and snapped. “I’m not angry with you, Potter.”

“R-Right.”

Alright, Draco made him feel something. He just hadn’t figured out what yet.

~~~

Harry faced his first disaster in school on Friday, during the Double Potions lesson. He should have expected this, in retrospect.

Snape always, without fail, let him know how much he reminded him of his dad, whom Snape never liked. Well, the feeling was mutual. Harry didn’t like the man either. He might be Avril’s godfather but Harry wanted to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. And he had. At least, until he came to Hogwarts.

Snape bombarded him with questions Harry had no way of knowing the answers to. Utter humiliation. His hate for the man only grew. The only saving grace was that Harry was a Slytherin at the end of the day, which meant Snape wouldn’t be deducting points.

Snape’s hostility didn’t shock him. What shocked him, however, was that Snape asked Draco to remain behind after the lesson. Harry had half a mind to stay behind with him but Ron pulled him along.

Something must be up. And Harry would be damned if he didn’t figure it out.

~~~

Harry still hadn’t given up on establishing some kind of reputation. Sirius had been renowned at school and Harry admired the man for it. When he learnt that their first Flying lesson was the day after, he couldn’t restrain his excitement.

They had a fight with Draco that night. Harry knew it had to do with Hermione but couldn’t fully understand what he did wrong. Okay, maybe he did. He had just wanted to show off a bit. Hermione was, like, the smarter student in their class. Having something that scared her took her one step down her pedestal and Harry had wanted to pull her down a bit. It felt like something Sirius would do.

He regretted doing it. Draco hated him enough already. Did he really have to give him more reasons to do so?

Harry buried his face in his pillow and spent a sleepless night of self-loathing. Draco hated him. Now, Hermione hated him too. Ron would hate him as well if Harry wasn’t careful. He got up with some newfound determination to at least strengthen his friendship with Ron.

Harry had set his mind to stop antagonising Draco so much. He just had to stop. And yet, in the afternoon, during their flying lesson, he couldn’t stop giving Draco a smug look when he stood opposite him. He concluded that Draco just had that effect on him, however undesirable. Harry wanted to antagonise him to the point his face acted on its own. This was the worst.

~~~

The lesson ended in a mess. Neville got injured, Parkinson stole Neville’s Remembrall and Draco disobeyed direct orders from Madam Hooch so he could retrieve it. Professor McGonagall showed up and took Draco away, probably to punish him… or expel him. Harry felt sick at the idea of Draco getting expelled.

It was only when Draco came to meet them later at dinner and told them the news that Harry finally let out a sigh of relief. McGonagall recognised his skills to the point of having him enter the Quidditch team.

Harry might not be making a name for himself, but Draco certainly was. Harry had fallen silent even as Ron and Draco excitedly talked about Quidditch and Hermione kept shushing them. He couldn’t explain it but the burning wasn’t there now. He only felt happy for Draco joining the Quidditch team. Godric knows, he deserved it. His flying was nothing short of terrific.

The need to bang his head against the table grew. What was Harry doing? He should be jealous! Angry that he didn’t get to join the team. Yet, the only thing Harry could feel was extreme pride at Draco’s accomplishment — even if he and Draco weren’t friends. Why were they not friends yet? Draco literally got along with everyone. Surely, he and Harry were friends, right…?

He let out a great sigh. This was ridiculous.

“You could just tell him.” Hermione said.

Harry raised his head to see Draco had gone off to the Gryffindor table and Hermione and Ron were staring at him.

“Tell him what?” Harry frowned.

“That you want to be his friend, mate.” Ron took a bite of his toast. “It’s kinda miserable seeing you like this.”

“What do you mean like this? I’m fine.” Harry argued.

“It’s obvious you want to get along with him.” Hermione said. “Just stop being a jerk.”

“I’m not a—” And then he remembered what he said to Hermione last night. His cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Honestly, I was so worried about flying, I’m not even angry at you.” She smiled. “Your fight with Draco even took some nerves off. But, apology accepted.”

“See,” said Ron, “you can be more agreeable if you just try a bit.”

Harry nodded. He already felt less alone. Ron and Hermione didn’t hate him.

~~~

Harry had finally set his mind on making peace with Draco but his chance was pulled right under his feet.

Hermione had noticed the commotion at the Gryffindor table and forced Draco to tell her what happened. Ron and Harry had the brilliant idea of eavesdropping on them. A duel in the middle of the night, being Theo’s second. Harry’s head hurt already at how many dangers Draco was getting in in a single day. Does he really want to be expelled?

“You sure you guys will be alright, Draco?” Ron asked, confused.

“Well, it would be nice if Nott gets expelled though.” Harry said. Nott annoyed him. A lot. There was no explanation for it, really. Harry just didn’t like him.

In retrospect, he should have kept this opinion to himself.

“You’ve been a rather good boy all day, Potter. Do you want to anger me so late at night?” Draco spat out coldly.

Harry looked away. He messed up again. Big time.

“Fine! Go and help that dear friend of yours out then. I’m not taking part in this.” Harry spat back and walked away.

This was a mess. Everything was a mess. Why was Draco friends with Theo and not with him? And why could Harry not shut his mouth for a second?

~~~

Harry didn’t have the concept of privacy down. Living with two younger sisters and having Sirius as his godfather made it difficult to keep anything to himself. When he read Draco’s letter, he had just been worried.

It still evolved into a fight. Harry hated it. Whatever he said, the only thing it did was make Draco hate him more.

After Draco described his last night in detail, he and Harry got into another fight. This day couldn’t get any worse.

It did. It got worse. Ron and Hermione had a fight too. One that Harry and Draco were unwillingly a part of. Halfway through dinner, Hermione stormed off to the Gryffindor table, sitting herself between Nott and Neville.

Why did everyone get along with Nott of all people…?

Hermione stopped talking with them from that day on. Harry couldn’t deny how much it bothered him. He thought they had finally become friends. He was wrong. Ron wouldn’t stop glancing at Hermione for the next few days and Draco made all kinds of attempts to talk to her. She resolutely ignored him.

Harry sought her out in the library a few days after the ‘fight’. Surprisingly, Hermione didn’t storm off immediately.

“What do you want?” She said without taking her eyes off her book.

“Well, I…” Harry pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. He took a deep breath. “I don’t really want to be at odds with you.”

Hermione tore her eyes away from what she was reading. She stared at Harry in question.

Harry felt his cheeks light up at the attention she gave him. Her eyes scanned him like an X-Ray machine and Harry had to tell her everything now.

“I’ve been having trouble too.” Harry whispered. “I’m not good at making friends. I’ve never really had to interact with people out of my family and… I am making a mess of it.”

“Is this about Draco?” Hermione’s eyes softened and she put a hand on his shoulder.

“No.” He said quickly. “I mean, maybe a bit. But it’s not just Draco. It feels like everyone hates me. The only one who hasn’t entirely pushed me away is Ron. So, in all honesty, I should be taking his side in this fight you are having but… I thought we had started becoming friends and… I know I’m not smart enough to entertain you with interesting topics but I would still like to hang out with you.”

“That’s a really sweet thing to say, Harry.” Hermione smiled. “You don’t need to worry. My ‘fight’ with Ron won’t extend to you, or anyone else for that matter.”

“But you aren’t talking to Draco, either.”

“That’s because he betrayed my trust by telling you two what we did that day.” She huffed. “I get that boys feel the need to show off but I can’t forgive him for what he did yet.”

“Not all boys.” Harry frowned.

Hermione looked at him pointedly.

“Okay, well, maybe.” He chuckled and stood up. “I’m gonna let you study now.”

“Thank you.” Hermione said in a low voice when Harry had already taken off. He barely heard her, so he didn’t turn to answer.

He should have been the one thanking her.

~~~

Ron hurt Hermione on Halloween’s day. And Harry felt shame land and take over his stomach for the rest of the day. Harry hadn’t argued when Ron said that ‘no one can stand her’. He hadn’t had the time, yes, but he could have chased after her. He hadn’t though. He didn’t want to lose Ron’s favour by running after her.

And then he got into a fight with Draco. Again. It was a daily occurrence at this point.

Harry made a mental note of talking to her after dinner and properly apologising. He hoped Hermione would forgive him.

However, Hermione hadn’t been the first thing Harry thought of when they heard about the troll at the dungeons. When Draco pointed it out to him, Harry had no intention of staying behind.

“Don’t think I’m coming for you or Hermione, Black. I just don’t want to be left behind.” Harry said anyway. Why did he keep trying to get a rise out of Draco, he would never understand.

Draco drove him crazy. He made him say things he would never say. He made him act like a jerk, and maybe he was but not this much. This had to be Draco’s fault.

~~~

Harry wanted to brag about defeating a troll, but he didn’t.

The image of Hermione kissing Draco's cheek refused to leave his mind. It was the only thing that he could think of. It made him angry.

The worst thing, however, was that he didn’t know why it made him angry. He spent that night with nothing else in his head. Just that kiss. A small tiny teeny kiss on the cheek and yet it frustrated him to no end.

He wanted to scream.

Only come next morning did he have enough brain-power to ignore the kiss — for the most part anyway — and start replaying their whole conversation with Snape. Because that had also bothered him at the time. The stupid kiss hadn’t permanently blown away all other memories before it.

Draco refused to acknowledge that Snape was suspicious. Hermione and Ron were more agreeable on that matter. But Draco shot them off every single time and Harry eventually dropped the subject. He could be mature like that, and stop fighting with Draco.

And then came the day before the Quidditch match. Draco’s first Quidditch match and Hermione was giving him a book about Quidditch. They were so close together and Draco might have refused the book but he looked ready to accept a kiss so Harry stepped between them and snatched the book.

When he wrote to Sirius about this strange behaviour, Sirius excitedly penned his response.

Dear Harry,

Godric, our little boy is growing up!
Now, listen well, Harry, when two people
love each other, they start doing stupid
things. Like being overly jealous when
that person kisses someone else.

Now, I haven’t really talked to Draco in a
while so I don’t know if there’s anything
going on with this Hermione but even if there
is something, as long as it’s not official yet
you still have a chance to win her over.

Go for it!

Love,
Sirius

Jealous… Was Harry jealous? That would make sense but… he didn’t like Hermione like that? Or did he? He tried imagining Hermione giving him a kiss and shook his head. Nope. Definitely not. He didn’t want Hermione to kiss him.

So Sirius was dead wrong.

And he kept about his day acting like the idea of Draco kissing him didn’t make his stomach tighten in the worst yet best way possible.

~~~

Harry temporarily forgot his unexplainable problems in favour of antagonising Snape, who took his book. Well, Hermione’s book. Harry was only borrowing it. And he wanted it back.

This might sound like a flimsy childlike vendetta but Harry needed that book. He couldn’t help worrying about the Quidditch match tomorrow. Which didn’t make any sense, as he won’t be the one flying. Harry tried to ignore the gnawing worry for a time. He finally broke when he and the others studied in the common room.

“I want my book back.” He said when Draco asked him. “Why should I be afraid of Snape anyway?” He stood up. “I’m gonna get that book back. Now.”

He was afraid of Snape, though. So he enlisted Draco’s help, which Draco gave half-heartedly.

He did not get the book, only a yelling and a very interesting piece of information, which he conveyed to Ron and Hermione.

“You know what this means?” Hermione said. “He tried to get past that three-headed dog at Halloween! That’s where he was going when you guys saw him! He’s after whatever it’s guarding! Maybe he even let that troll in, to make a diversion!”

“That’s… not impossible.” Ron agreed.

“No.” Draco said evenly, his gaze defensive. “I don't know about stealing that thing but he wouldn’t let a troll in here. I know he’s not very nice, but he wouldn’t endanger students like that.” 

“Honestly, Black, I don’t know why you like Snape so much but I’m with Hermione on this. I wouldn’t put anything past Snape.”

Maybe Harry shouldn’t rely on his private vendetta with Snape. Maybe he should give the man another chance but honestly? He wished Snape was behind this. If somehow he could get Snape fired, that would be a dream come true. No more dreadful Potion lessons where Snape targeted Harry just because he could.

“But what is he after? What’s that dog guarding?” Hermione wondered loudly.

No one had an answer.

~~~

Draco defended Snape to an unexplainable degree. Not even a threat on his life made Draco budge.

Harry had filed away Draco’s odd defense to a personal preference for Snape’s lessons — which was improbable but not impossible — until now. Until he saw Draco’s sister and Neville agree with him on the matter. And Harry knew for a fact that Snape hated Neville as much as he hated Harry himself. Maybe more. So, it struck Harry as really strange that Neville would defend him.

No. There must be something else going on here.

Yet Harry found his attention redirected when Hagrid asked them reasons for their theories of Snape trying to kill Draco. Well, at the end of the day, they left the hut with some new information about someone named Nicholas Flamel.

A Gryffindor girl, Lily Moon, had tagged along with them to Hagrid’s hut. Harry had found her entirely uninteresting for the longest time. Then Draco went out of his way to greet her and become friends with her and Harry, once again, felt that sick feeling overtake him.

How could Draco keep making friends from every house and yet refuse to be friends with him? It was just so unfair.

~~~

And the saga of ‘Draco refuses to be my friend’ continued well into December.

Harry would have been okay if it wasn’t Draco. He didn’t mind not being friends with Blaise Zabini or the Slytherin boys in the second dorm room for their year. He didn’t care that the Slytherin girls — except Hermione — didn’t talk to him. He only cared that Draco didn’t want to be his friend.

And, Godric, Draco literally shone when he smiled at Ron, or Hermione, or Neville, or Nott. He even smiled at Moon now. Harry could now discern what he felt was good old-fashioned yet burning jealousy. For all of them. They had Draco’s favour. He didn’t.

Draco didn’t invite him to his family’s Christmas dinner. Not like he invited Ron, nor like he invited Neville. So Harry got himself invited. He had a fight with Mum the day before the visit. Mum thought it rude to just show up. Dad agreed with her. They couldn’t understand. Harry took it up with Sirius, who nonchalantly agreed to take him along with a ‘the more the merrier’ kind of mentality.

Draco’s home felt like a whole new world. Mrs Tonks pretty much wiped the floor with Sirius, Mr Tonks was the sweetest person Harry had ever met and Dora was a moving disaster. Unlike his own family, where all hell broke loose on Christmas, the atmosphere was gentle, calm, and accepting. Harry felt he could get away with murder in this house.

It didn’t terrify him. He always found Sirius’ irregular mentality to be awesome. He just hadn’t realised that was the Black genes at work before. Mrs Tonks, Dora and Draco had the aptitude for the world’s craziest things. Mr Tonks’ presence, however, made those rough edges and sharp mood swings soften. Despite his timid personality, Harry felt immense respect for him.

When it got late, Harry, Neville, Sirius and Remus departed. Harry couldn’t wait to go back to Hogwarts and see Draco again. Something about this cosy atmosphere had kept him so relaxed… they hadn’t argued even once. Maybe that would last this time…

~~~

After the Christmas holidays, Harry felt the distance between him and Draco shrink. They still fought but somehow Harry knew they had taken a step forward. A step Harry eagerly wished to make into two.

So, when Harry and Ron — returning to their dormitory after a game of chess in the Great Hall — found Neville with his legs stitched together, Harry insisted they had to call Draco. He beckoned Ron to stay with Neville in the empty classroom around the corner and headed off to call Draco.

Harry and Ron could have possibly found a way to free Neville’s legs. Harry didn’t think them capable of stopping the boy from crying. Neville’s self-esteem issues never got better, no matter how much Remus showered him in praise any chance he got.

He found Draco in the library with Hermione, Nott and Moon. He made the quick decision not to tell them about Neville’s literal and mental breakdown. Instead, he just pulled Draco along despite his protests.

Draco, as expected, knew the counter-curse and quickly unstitched Neville’s legs. Then he showered Neville in praise too, but somehow it worked. Harry felt a tinge of jealousy mixed with admiration. He had never managed to put Neville at ease. It was no wonder Neville chose Draco over Harry. Draco had an unrivalled charisma that Harry could never hope to match.

~~~

The second Quidditch match approached with alarming speed. The end of the school year was near. A general anxiety over exams spread around the Slytherin students. Harry’s academic abilities might not be great, but they were average. He could manage exams. With the rest of his house — which consisted mostly of better students than him — in such a frenzy about exams, however, the general anxiety got to him too.

That, coupled with tomorrow’s match, caused the catastrophe that Harry brought upon himself. He regretted it as soon as he had done it. If there was a way to turn back time, he would have no matter the cost.

Hermione and Ron glared at him after Draco left. He deserved that. He deserved so much worse, actually.

“I’m sorry.” Harry choked out and left. He left the castle. The biting cold scratched his face but Harry didn’t retreat.

“How could I be so…” He bit out. “I can’t believe I called him ‘Malfoy’... I know how much he hates it…” His eyes stung. “How stupid… We were finally becoming friends…”

He hadn’t meant it. Of course, he hadn’t meant it.

“Potter?”

Harry hastily wiped the tears from his eyes before turning around. His expression settled on an angry scowl when he recognised the owner of the voice.

“What do you want, Nott?”

Nott raised his hands in surrender. “I just… are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” He wasn’t but he would be damned if he admitted that to Nott of all people.

Nott shuffled his feet. “Hermione told me what happened.”

“Of course she did.” Harry huffed.

“I just wanted to say… It's not the end of the world. You can still, you know, fix this.”

“He hates that name!”

“But it just slipped out, right?” Nott forced a smile. “I’m sure Draco will be understanding if you just apologise to him. He’s pretty forgiving, I think.”

If Harry had the capability of apologising, he wouldn’t be standing here now.

“What’s it to you, Nott? Why do you care?”

“I do understand why you hate me.” Nott turned his back on Harry. “Honestly, what I can’t understand is why Draco has dubbed me his friend. But he did.” He glanced at Harry. “I think you hurt him, but he doesn’t really want to push you away. I can tell.”

“How?” Harry glared.

“Slytherins wear a hundred masks per day. The feelings under those masks? They are complicated and full of paradoxes. I might be in Gryffindor but I’ve lived in a place like that for years. I know how it is.”

“So you are doing this because you think Draco wants to be my friend?”

“I don’t know if friend is the right word, but yes.”

~~~

Harry didn’t want to bother Draco before the match, so he waited until it ended. Instead of going with Hermione and Ron to congratulate him on his win, though, he made a beeline for the broomshed. He would wait for Draco to come store his broom and then apologise.

Apologising sounded like a mountain with no trail for the hikers. Harry didn’t know how to navigate a proper verbal apology but he had already decided to do it. How much more could he mess up his relationship with Draco anyway? He already hated him.

Draco opened the broomshed door and Harry took a step forward to meet him face-to-face but his eyes caught something else instead.

A hooded figure came down swiftly from the front steps of the castle. Clearly not wanting to be seen, it walked as fast as possible toward the Forbidden Forest. It took Harry a moment to identify the figure as Snape. This had to be about the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry concluded and jumped out of the broomshed.

“That’s Snape, isn’t it!”

“What are you doing in there, Potter!?” Draco hissed.

“I-I was waiting for you…” He lowered his eyes to the ground, embarrassed that he had forgotten his original purpose of being there in mere moments. It was too late for that now. He looked back to Draco. “More importantly, we should go after Snape!”

Draco jumped on his Nimbus Two Thousand and reluctantly beckoned Harry to get on behind him before taking off.

Harry’s hands tighten around Draco. The proximity made his chest sing and his hands burn.

“Scared, Potter?” Draco said with a side glance. “I thought you knew how to fly.”

“Shut up and go after Snape, Black!” Harry blushed. “I’m not scared!”

Harry was conscious of their close proximity the entire time. His mind only returned to Snape when they found him in the forest talking with Quirrell.

Snape wanted the Stone. After what he had just heard, Harry was sure of it. He said as much to Hermione and Ron when they got back. If the only thing blocking Snape was indeed Quirrell, then the stone would be in his hand before any of them could do anything.

Draco had set his mind on something, however. Something that involved going to Snape’s office and not telling them the reason.

Then, Harry and Ron caught Draco and Hermione huddled up in an empty corner of the corridor on the second floor. Draco stepped back from her but Hermione kept giving him a certain look that Harry couldn’t decipher.

"I...I didn't know you two were... you know..." Ron bit out weakly.

Draco's eyes widened as they travelled between Hermione and Ron. He grinned and threw an arm around Ron's shoulder.

"Now, now, Ron, you are clearly misunderstanding. Although Hermione is a charming young lady, she is not really my type and I am quite sure I am not her type either. Right, Hermione?"

"Eh? Ah... I suppose..." Hermione smiled.

"Guys, you don't have to hide it if you are dating..." Ron forced a smile.

"But we really aren't dating," Draco and Hermione said at the same time.

Harry hadn’t said a word. He had no idea how to react, what to say, what to believe. The stinging in his heart intensified and Harry felt sick. He didn’t believe it but Sirius had to be right. Harry must be jealous. But Harry wasn’t jealous of Draco, he was jealous of Hermione. Merlin.

Before Harry had a chance to say anything, a deep voice spoke from behind them.

"Mr Black, may I request your obnoxious presence in my office after lunch?"

It was Snape.

Harry, all previous nuances of jealousy forgotten, acted like a cornered cat.

“You can’t possibly go to him on your own!” Harry hissed as soon as Snape was gone.

“I will be alright, Potter.” Draco grinned.

Of course, Draco wouldn’t listen. He never really did.

Harry made up his mind to follow him there. He had promised his dad not to use the Cloak except if an emergency occurred. Well, for Harry, this was an emergency.

He put the Cloak on and chased after Draco. To his credit, Draco glanced towards his direction a great many times but each one, he shrugged and kept moving. He sneaked inside Snape’s office right after Draco and moved towards the corner as silently as he could.

The first shock came unexpectedly. For a reason Harry couldn’t even guess, Draco called Snape by his first name. Then Draco spoke of aiding Snape in his quest and Harry had the stray thought that he might have accidentally gone to a parallel universe.

"I do not intend to steal the stone.” Snape said. “There's someone else who wants to do so, as you have already surmised. But I want you and your friends to stay out of this."

"But-"

"No buts on my watch, young man. I'm neither your dad nor your uncle. When I say no, it means no. Warn your friends that if I find out you are still on the Stone's case, I will have all of you in detention."

Harry didn’t know if Snape was telling the truth or if Draco was just that gullible but Draco looked to fully believe him.

Harry didn’t miss the moment Draco opened the door to sneak out, but he didn’t return to the Slytherin dormitory just yet. He tried to convince himself that what he saw was real and not a figment of his imagination.

Draco and Snape had been… intimate with each other. There was mutual trust there and Harry had really started losing his mind. Because, if what he saw was real, then, the Stone aside, someone else tried to kill Draco on his first match.

~~~

Exams were closing in at an alarming pace. Harry had found himself studying more than he had ever studied in his life before. From group studies in the Slytherin common room with Draco, Ron and Hermione to group studies in the library with the addition of Neville, Nott and sometimes Moon.

It was one of the days Moon hadn’t agreed to come that they watched her burst into the library, get something, and then rush out like her life depended on it.

Curiosity got the better of them, and after pulling Hermione and Nott out of their reading frenzy, they followed after her all the way to Hagrid’s hut. And then, you know, Hagrid was hiding a dragon. An actual dragon!

The idea of an actual real moving dragon excited Harry, naturally. The idea of an aggressive fire-breathing beast inside the school grounds, not so much. So the whole idea was exciting until an actual dragon came out of the dragon egg. Then they watched as ‘Norbert’, which is how Hagrid named him, grew from little tiny dragon baby to bigger than their size dragon baby in a matter of days.

The worst of it all? There was a ceiling-high chance Pansy Parkinson had seen them helping Hagrid harbouring that dragon.

They collectively tried to convince Hagrid to give the dragon away, let him go, but Hagrid acted like they were trying to take his son away, his fire-breathing, soon-will-be-bigger-than-his-wooden-hut son. No matter how you looked at it, it was crazy.

Then, Draco — bless him — proposed they contact Ron’s brother, Charlie, who worked as a dragon tamer, to come and take the dragon.

A few days later, Norbert bit Moon’s hand. She showed them her swollen hand with dismay, earning Nott’s scolding.

Ron showed them his brother’s letter as some kind of comfort. Charlie agreed to help. Some of his friends would pass by on Saturday night and they would take Norbert.

“How will we get to the tower without being seen though?” Hermione pointed out.

Harry fidgeted for a bit before saying. “I… I have something that will help. If we have that, we can make it there without anyone noticing.”

“Hm? What is it?” Ron asked.

“I… I will tell you later.”

Everyone agreed, even without an explanation. It was a testament to how tired they all were with this dragon business.

Harry intended to use the Cloak. This had to count as an emergency, right?

Draco and Ron brought them the news that night. Parkinson had somehow — thanks to Moon’s negligence — found out about the exchange. This couldn’t get any better, could it?

~~~

On Friday night, and after many days of avoiding entering Hagrid’s hut, Harry found the courage to pull Draco aside and explain to him his sure-fire way of getting to the Astronomy tower the next day. He still rambled for a good two minutes before Draco put a stop to it and kindly demanded Harry get to the point. So Harry told him about the Cloak.

“You had an Invisibility Cloak all this time and you’ve never told me!?” Draco exclaimed.

“I’m not supposed to have it until my fourth year, alright!?”

“But you do have it!”

“Well, yeah… So ehm, can you not tell anything to the others about this? We could transport Norbert under the cloak and nobody would know a thing.”

“Okay, okay. My lips are sealed. I won’t even tell Neville and that’s a big thing.”

Harry sighed in relief. He trusted Draco would keep the secret. No matter how good a student he was, he was still a prankster. Surely, he wouldn’t give away such a tool — a tool he was going to have to ask Harry to borrow every time — for the sake of getting Harry in trouble.

Draco didn’t even bat an eye as he omitted the details about the Cloak and yet still persuaded Hermione and Ron that everything would go great.

Then, when the time to get Norbert to the tower came, Harry enjoyed some alone time with Draco under the Cloak. Well, alone if you exclude Norbert but Harry was excluding him in his mind. The less he thought about the fire-breathing disaster he was carrying, the better.

The silence made the experience something straight out of a dream. Only their panting and huffing disrupted it.

They almost let the crate hit the ground when they heard someone move above him. They didn’t. Instead, they watched as Professor McGonagall pulled Parkinson by the ear, promising her detention.

At the top of the tower, they threw off the Cloak, glad to be able to breathe properly again.

“Parkinson’s got detention! I could sing!” Draco exclaimed breathily.

“Don’t you dare.” Harry said but he couldn’t restrain a fond smile.

They gave Norbert away. They were enjoying their first minutes of liberation from hiding a fire-breathing dragon and their feet were so light and mood so good they didn’t even find the need to argue.

So they descended the staircase without the Cloak on. Bad idea. Filch waited for them around the corner, grinning.

“Well, well, well, we are in trouble.”

Sometimes, Harry wished he was a bit smarter than this.

~~~

Harry felt all kinds of fear envelop him as Filch took them to Snape’s office. He silently wished they got out of this with just detention. Snape liked Draco so he wouldn’t expel him, but what about Harry…? If he got expelled, he would never hear the end of it from Iris.

By the end of their talk with Snape, however, Harry had a new worry gnawing at his throat. They had gotten out of it with just detention and many lost points but he didn’t care about any of those.

Draco and Snape were really close. Harry needed to know or the cat called Curiosity would kill him.

When they reached their dormitory, Draco laid down on his bed right away without even bothering to put on pajamas. Harry refused to let him off the hook this time. He climbed up in bed with Draco and pulled the curtains shut.

“What is it now, Potter? I really want to sleep.”

“What’s your relationship with Snape exactly?”

Draco’s face paled, his eyes blown wide and his lips tightly pressed together in a straight line. Harry had never seen such sheer panic etched on his face and privately, he admitted to loving the expression. Or he just really liked Draco’s face. Harry wanted to take any expression Draco made and catalogue it away. He should get a camera.

Feeling just a tiny bit guilty for causing Draco panic, he said. “It’s not some kind of secret love affair, is it?” Harry hoped it wasn’t. He only said it as half-a-joke but you never really know. He would definitely be telling his mum if it was a love affair, for obvious reasons.

Draco burst into laughter, which he tried to suppress because Ron, Greg and Vincent slept not more than a couple of metres away from them.

“Of course, it’s nothing like that.” Draco still tried and failed to suppress his laughter. “How did you even think of that?”

“Well… he does seem to like you…? And you always talk in favour of him even though he is a total asshole?”

“Language. And there’s a good reason for that. But if you want me to tell you, you need to promise me to keep it a secret.”

“Fine by me.” He would gladly take it to his grave. He just wanted to sate his curiosity and make sure it wasn’t anything unseemly. “Now, tell me, what’s up with you and Snape?”

“He’s my godfather.” Draco said.

“He’s your godfather?” Harry couldn’t quite believe it. Even when Draco answered him ‘yes,’ Harry still asked the question again. It took a few times to stomach the thought. He should have Draco meet Avril. He should definitely have them meet.

“Satisfied now, Potter?”

“Yeah…” Then he finally made the other, maybe more urgent connection. “But if he is your godfather then he wouldn’t want to harm you… which means…”

“It means that he certainly did not curse my broom. As I’ve been saying from the very beginning.”

“But then…”

“Someone else did that.”

“So we’ve been after the wrong person all this time?”

“More or less. Now, enough of that, go to sleep. I’m tired.”

Harry retreated to his bed with thoughts of the real culprit revolving around his mind. Snape had matched and fueled their suspicions. If he was Draco’s godfather, however, Draco’s family essentially, then no matter how suspicious, it couldn’t be him.

So who was it? Who else fit the agenda of someone trying to steal the Philosopher’s Stone… Harry fell asleep before he could find the answer to that. Maybe he found it in his dreams, but alas, he didn’t remember by morning.

~~~

The next few days involved the whole Slytherin house hating them because they lost them 100 points in a night, Harry swearing he was staying out of grown-up problems from then on, and a steady amount of studying.

A week before the start of the exams, Draco overheard someone threatening Quirrell. Something he told them right away and Harry was trying very hard to keep his oath of staying out of it. But then his curiosity…

“Snape’s done it, then!” Ron hissed. “If Quirrell’s told him how to break his Anti-Dark Force spell...!”

“There’s still Fluffy, though.” Hermione whispered back.

“Maybe Snape’s found out how to get past him without asking Hagrid?” Lily said.

“It is not Snape.” Harry said.

Silence followed his statement. Then…

“Harry, do you have a fever? Why are you defending Snape all of a sudden?” Ron asked dubiously.

“I just had a change of heart!” Harry shrugged. “Anyways, it was someone else! And we’ve got no idea who it was.”

“Who else is more suspicious than Snape?” Lily asked.

“Quirrell.” Draco murmured.

They all looked at him.

“Draco, you heard Quirrell talk with someone.” Hermione said. “He was being threatened.”

“But what if…”

“That’s enough.” Nott said resolutely. “No more meddling in adult business from any of you again. We have EXAMS. Concentrate on them if you have free time.”

After that, nobody had the guts to talk back. Well, Harry made an attempt but after a cold glare from Nott, he promptly shut up and turned back to his book.

For the record, he did that because he had promised not to get involved, not because Nott had glared at him. Just to make it clear. It’s not like Nott reminded him of his mum or anything. Definitely not.

~~~

The next day, after their detention in the Forbidden Forest, they found Hermione reading a book and Ron sleeping next to her in the common room.

Parkinson walked past them and up to her room without a word. She wore a strange expression when she glanced back at Draco momentarily. Harry surmised she must be feeling some guilt for leaving Draco alone in the forest.

They woke up Ron and huddled together on a single sofa as Draco told them exactly what had happened in the forest. Halfway through, he got up and paced back and forth in front of the low fire. He was still shaking.

“Someone wants the Stone for Voldemort… and Voldemort’s waiting in the forest... and all this time we thought whoever wanted the Stone just wanted to get rich...” Harry droned on and on, almost as restless as Draco probably felt.

“Stop saying the name!” Ron said in a terrified whisper.

Harry ignored him.

“So all we’ve got to wait for now is for the Stone to be stolen,” Harry went on feverishly, “then Voldemort will be able to come and finish Black off…! And apparently, that will make the stars happy!”

“Potter, calm down.” Draco said. “There’s no need to panic. Everyone says Dumbledore’s the only one the Dark Lord was ever afraid of. A lunatic he might be but with Dumbledore around, the Dark Lord won’t dare make an appearance.”

“How can you say that!? This is your life on the line, you know! And why are you calling him a Lord for!? His name is Voldemort! You of all people should be allowed to say it!”

Draco averted his gaze.

Maybe that was a step too far, Harry thought as Draco refused to look at him.

The tension in the air persisted. They were all seated in various places around the fireplace by now but nobody was talking, gloom was written on all of their faces. Until Hermione cleared her throat commandingly. They all turned to look at her.

“Who says the centaurs are right? It sounds like fortune-telling to me, and Professor McGonagall says that that’s a very imprecise branch of magic.”

Hermione's words gave Harry a temporary reassurance. He, Draco and Ron said their goodnights to Hermione and climbed up to the boys’ dormitory.

Harry paused when he pulled off the upper blanket to get under the covers. The Invisibility Cloak was right there, folded neatly and staring back at him. They had not retrieved it yet, too afraid to get close to that tower again.

There was a note pinned to it: Just in case.

Harry made a beeline to Draco’s bed and all but dragged him there. Draco’s eyes widened and he shared a glance with Harry. He was as confused as he was.

So if neither of them brought it here, then who did…?

~~~

Harry spent the next days trying to concentrate on exams and worrying about Draco. Although he had pledged not to get involved in adult business, if someone attacked Draco, that was another matter. It was irrational how much he wanted to protect Draco. He knew the feeling was one-sided but that didn’t deter him.

The end of the exams came quickly. Now that he had no incantations and magical theory to distract him, his mind could only go one way: the Stone. As an excuse, he insisted he only wanted to know, not interfere. He tried to swallow the curiosity up but when Ron called him out on his sullen mood, he snapped.

“I am just worried about the Stone.” He burst out. “And Black’s scar keeps hurting all the time, lately! If anything, why are you guys so calm!?”

“I’m fine, Potter.” Draco called out nonchalantly.

Harry wanted to believe him but could tell that it troubled him too. He had quite the sixth sense when it came to Draco.

“I think it’s a warning.” Harry said. “It means danger’s coming.”

“Harry, relax, Draco’s right, the Stone’s safe as long as Dumbledore’s around.” Ron said. “Anyway, we’ve never had any proof Snape found out how to get past Fluffy. He nearly had his leg ripped off once, he’s not going to try it again in a hurry. And Neville will play Quidditch for England before Hagrid lets Dumbledore down.”

“It is not Snape.” Theo cut in. “And Neville could play just fine if he was not so nervous.”

Harry closed his eyes and tuned them out. He wished he had an adult to talk about this. One that would believe him, preferably. And, unfortunately, the only one who fit that criteria was Snape. Harry was not going to Snape. No way.

Harry returned his attention to the conversation when Nott had walked a few feet ahead and Neville and Moon had stood up right away to follow him.

“We’ve got to go and see Hagrid, now.” Nott said.

“Why?” Draco and Harry asked simultaneously as they followed after him.

Ron groaned but at Hermione’s urging, he stood up and followed too.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything else is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have an egg in his pocket?” Theo kept walking. “How many people wander around with dragon eggs? Lucky they found Hagrid, don’t you think? Why didn’t we notice this before?”

“What are you talking about?” Ron questioned.

Harry might not like Nott but he could agree the boy was on to something there.

Hagrid was sitting in an armchair outside his house. He greeted them warmly but before he could say anything more than a “Hello”, Nott cut him off. After a short questioning, they learnt two things. One, music made Fluffy sleep like a log. Two, the stranger who gave Hagrid his dragon egg knew that too.

They made an attempt to warn Professor Dumbledore about this but McGonagall stopped them. Dumbledore was away. They tried convincing McGonagall that someone would try to steal the Stone soon but she shushed them off, requested of them not to speak another word of the Stone and reassured them that it would be safe. Snape’s threat followed McGonagall’s request. Don’t get involved, go outside and play.

Why did no adult believe them? Being a child sucked today.

~~~

Harry didn’t let McGonagall or Snape’s words deter him. He proposed they stalked out the third-floor corridor that night.

That prompted Nott to drag Neville and Moon back to the Gryffindor dormitory. If all the Gryffindors were such cowards, Harry was glad the hat put him in Slytherin instead.

The four Slytherins still found themselves walking back to their dormitory. Harry had set his mind on getting that Stone first and he would be damned if he couldn’t persuade the others about it.

“You’re mad!” Ron said in alarm.

“We can’t go.” Hermione agreed. “After what McGonagall and Snape said? We’ll be expelled!”

“SO WHAT?” Harry shouted. “Don’t you understand? If that person gets hold of the Stone, Voldemort’s coming back! Haven’t you heard what it was like when he was trying to take over? I’ve heard everything from my parents! There won’t be any Hogwarts to get expelled from! He will flatten it, or turn it into a school for the Dark Arts! Losing points doesn’t matter anymore, can’t you see? D’you think he’ll leave you and your families alone if Slytherin wins the House Cup? If we get caught before we can get to the Stone, well, we’ll be expelled and wait for Voldemort to come kill us! We can’t let him kill Black, right!? I will go through that trapdoor tonight, no matter what you all say!”

“You’re right, Potter.” Draco directed a smile at him. “But this will be dangerous, even if we don’t get caught. You guys don’t have to do this.”

“I might have ended up in Slytherin but I still have the heart of a lion.” Harry said, standing up. “I won’t let you go alone.”

“I hate to agree but he’s right.” Hermione groaned. “If you are going, we are going too.”

“Agreed. Merlin knows what Fred and George would do if they learnt I let you die alone.” Ron said with some newfound bravery.

“But if we get caught, you guys will be expelled, too...” Draco said weakly.

“Well then, that will be just our luck. We are still coming.” Ron smiled.

Hermione nodded eagerly.

“We can use my Invisibility Cloak. It’s just lucky I got it back.” Harry blurted out. Ron and Hermione wouldn’t tell, Harry could be certain of this now.

~~~

The time spent under the trapdoor was a haze. Harry had fallen asleep like a log after he made sure Draco was safe and taken care of. He pretty much fell asleep on Draco’s hospital bed that first day.

Ron’s bed was right next to them. Ron had much more severe external wounds than Draco, but he had already regained consciousness once. Now, he was just sleeping. Hermione had perched herself on the side of his bed and followed suit.

Draco hadn’t woken up yet.

Harry caused this. He led them down that trapdoor. He left Draco to move on alone. Draco had gotten a panic attack as soon as they got down that trapdoor, for Merlin’s sake. What was Harry thinking? He could have led them to their deaths. He could have led Draco to his death. He wondered if, perhaps, this was never about keeping Draco safe at all. Maybe it had been about Harry wanting to play the hero.

Harry slept restlessly. Every now and then, he woke up, checked that Draco still breathed then fell back asleep with the guilt choking him.

Ron woke up again in the afternoon and Madam Pomfrey cleared him to leave. Harry intended to stay by Draco’s side until he woke up, but the school nurse chased him away. Before leaving, Harry squeezed Draco’s hand. “You’re gonna be okay.” He chanted.

Back at the Slytherin dormitory, somehow the rumours had already started. There was much speculation about what the four of them had gotten into the previous day. Harry ignored them all and went to sleep. But even if he didn’t stir from his bed, he never slept. Maybe he dozed off a couple of times, nothing more.

Ron and Hermione waited for him at the Common Room.

“We need to talk.” Hermione said.

Harry followed the two of them to a secluded corner of the Common Room. They sat down on the floor, forming a triangle.

“What’s going on, Harry?” Ron asked.

Harry lowered his eyes and shrugged.

“Draco will be fine.” Hermione said. “So are Ron and I.”

“I could have gotten you killed.” Harry whispered.

“We got the Stone.” Ron said. “You were right. If we had let Quirrell — Merlin, who would guess it was Quirrell — take it, we would be having a very different conversation now. Something about ‘You-Know-Who is back and we are surrounded by people with ties to Death Eaters’. So it’s good we stopped him.”

“It was worth the risk.” Hermione smiled. “I’m sure Draco will see it like that when he wakes up.”

“If he wakes up…” Harry murmured.

“He will wake up.” Ron said. “He’s stronger than he looks.”

“He had a panic attack down there! It’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Harry.” Hermione put a hand on top of his. “We don’t see it like that and neither does Draco. He will wake up, we will ask him all the details and then we will have dinner like nothing happened.”

Harry hoped she was right.

When they met with Neville, Nott and Moon the next day at breakfast, Hermione and Ron didn’t say that it was Harry’s idea to go down the trapdoor. Maybe they should have had. Then, Nott’s yelling would have been directed just at him, not at all of them. Harry found some comfort in being yelled at along with the others though.

The phrase ‘Slytherins cover Slytherins’ rang in his mind. Draco had said as much to Snape. It rang true now. It didn’t have to do with justice or what was fair. It had to do with companionship, with support. A Gryffindor would have chosen to tell the truth if he believed Harry was wrong. That would have been the just thing to do. Hermione and Ron didn’t mind being yelled at along with Harry.

For the first time in a year, Harry felt glad to be put into Slytherin. There were no more ‘buts’. He liked being a Slytherin. He fit in there. Be it the house of evil or whatever, Harry was ready to embrace it now. And if he turned evil along the way… well, that would be that then. At least his friends would still cover for him.

~~~

Harry hadn’t stepped foot inside the Hospital Wing since he left it. He convinced himself Draco wouldn’t want to see him first thing as soon as he woke up. So when the news of him waking up reached them, Harry didn’t go with the others. He wasn’t Draco’s friend yet. He didn’t intend to let the year end without changing that though.

He didn’t have much leeway. He woke up early the next morning and headed straight for the Hospital Wing. He waited for Madam Pomfrey to let him in and approached Draco’s bed tentatively. He sat down on the chair next to it and stared at Draco. He searched for any signs of blame or anger and when he didn’t find any, he sighed in relief.

"Potter?” Draco tilted his head to the side.

“We were really worried.” Harry murmured.

“Now, now, Potter, were you worried about me? You will make me cry.”

“It’s not funny. You could have died.”

Draco smiled and extended his hand to pat Harry’s head.

“Black?”

“I am alive, though, aren’t I? All because you managed to bring Severus in time. Did he give you a hard time?”

“....could have been worse… I probably looked really miserable because he believed me almost immediately…” Harry still couldn’t believe Snape trusted him that night. It felt like a dream. Well, the whole thing felt like a dream, to be fair.

“Well, that’s good then.” Draco chuckled. “All is fine now. I can even make it to the feast so no need to brood over this.”

“Aren’t you too energetic today…?”

“Kinda? I mean, I am probably getting grounded as soon as I get home. I might as well enjoy my last days of freedom before summer.”

“Grounded?”

“Oh, you’ve met my mum. She will come up with an inventive punishment again. Thank Merlin my dad is a Hufflepuff! Otherwise, I am afraid I would have been locked in the dungeons or something!”

“Dungeons?” That sounded awful.

“Oh don’t make that face. Our house doesn’t even have dungeons.”

“So if it had…?”

“Yeah, well… Dad wouldn’t let her lock us up… Probably…”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh fondly.

“Say, Black, we went through all that together. Any chance we could be friends?” Harry avoided Draco’s eyes as he asked.

“What brought this on, Potter?”

“Well… I… It’s kinda annoying that I am the only one you don’t call by my given name…” Okay, big lie, but that also bothered Harry.

“Harry!”

Harry jerked his head to look right at Draco’s eyes. His beautiful grey-blue eyes. Draco looked at him steadily. Harry could feel his cheeks warm.

“Is that a yes…?” Harry asked.

“Does it sound like a no?”

“Well… no, but…”

“You also have to call me by my first name though. See it as a handicap. If you happen to call me Malfoy again, I might actually go feral.”

Harry burst into laughter.

“I will never do that again, Draco.” He promised. It was a promise he intended to keep for the rest of his life.

“Good. I don’t want to have to see you cowering in fear before me again.”

“Who was cowering in fear?”

“Wanna check my memories in a Pensieve?” Draco quirked a brow, grinning.

“I’m good.”

More than good, really. This was the best day of his life so far. He knew, however, that now that he became Draco’s friend, many more ‘best days’ would follow.

Harry couldn’t stop grinning all throughout the feast that followed. Draco and he were friends. He finally felt at home in Slytherin. And he was even somewhat famous now, after the whole Stone business.

Now that he had Draco’s friendship, Moon easily turned to Lily and he didn’t hate Nott that much anymore either. He was so giddy, his mum thought he had come down with something when he returned home.

“Are you sure you are okay, Harry?” Mum said softly. “You look different.”

“I’m great, Mum.” Harry grinned widely. “I made some friends.”

Chapter Text

For Theo, Hogwarts was just another task he had to complete. His father had prepared him extensively for it: tutors, lessons, training. Theo didn’t feel a shred of anxiety about having to leave his home for Hogwarts. If he was completely honest with himself, maybe he felt a bit relieved to get away from his father.

Don’t get him wrong. He loved his father.

That didn’t stop his life from being miserable with his father watching his every step. Hogwarts wouldn’t be much different. Father made him a to-do list for that too, after all. But at least, Theo would be able to taste some freedom.

Theo’s Hogwarts letter came in June and, after purchasing a wand, Father started teaching him spells. He said it was so Theo could be able to protect himself but Theo was no idiot. Father just wanted him to ace his lessons.

As September 1st approached, Theo’s mind kept trailing to his mother. The memory of her was vague. Theo had to be less than four when she died. He had watched her wither away in her bed. Even in her final moments, she held onto Theo’s tiny hands and planted soft little kisses on them.

Father was never the same after Mother’s death. Tutors came in streamlines and Theo hardly ever saw his father outside of meals. At first, Theo believed Father would go back to normal with time, but he just turned worse.

The memory of the first Imperio cast on him still haunted him. Father yelled at him to fight it or he would hurt him. Theo tried. He tried so hard. Not because he was afraid of getting hurt but because he wanted to make his father proud. It took Theo a year to manage to fight it off. Father looked so proud then. Theo thought it was over. The next week, however, Father started to use Crucio on him instead.

“You have to build up some tolerance.” He said indifferently.

The pain he felt shattered any illusion that Father would ever be like before. He hadn’t picked Theo up or even hugged him in years. The most Theo could get was a pat on the shoulder. So, Theo started welcoming the pain. It hurt but at least he felt something.

Theo often wondered if his mother hadn't died, would things be different? Or would both of them aim Unforgivables at their son to train him? He didn’t know. He would never know.

At the platform to Hogwarts, Father rested his hand on Theo’s shoulder and Theo ignored the harsh words in favour of accepting the so-sought-after touch. If his mother was alive, maybe she would have kissed his forehead. He would never know, but he could fool himself into believing it.

On the train, he made himself comfortable with Pansy and Daphne. Theo had spent a big part of his childhood with them and felt at peace listening to them gossip.

Unlike them, Theo wasn’t very social. Father saw that as a problem. So, when Father was around, Theo turned into a social butterfly and chatted up the purebloods that came to visit like nobody’s business. That drained him.

Pansy and Daphne, who were inseparable and almost always visited together, noticed that. They dragged him away from his father’s eyes and hid away in obscure rooms of the Nott Manor. Theo relaxed and let them lead the conversation. The girls could talk for hours with minimum engagement from Theo and that was comforting.

At the train, Pansy noticed he was brooding and rested her hand on his. She squeezed just a bit and Theo found himself smiling. Hogwarts will be good. He could hang out with Pansy and Daphne. It will be fun.

He knew it wouldn’t be so easy though. After all, his father had made him a to-do list and the first item in it required him to be social and talk to people he didn’t know.

‘Become friends with Draco Malfoy.’

Theo wanted to throw the list in his father’s face but didn’t. Just because Father and Lucius Malfoy were friends, didn’t mean Draco and Theo had to be as well.

But Theo was a good son, so he still read all the articles about Draco Malfoy that he could find. Theo had practised what he would say to him and made a mental note to call him by his first name. Some articles spoke of him being adopted. In which case, his last name might not be Malfoy anymore.

He pushed all thoughts of Draco and the to-do list out of his mind and concentrated on the girls’ conversation once again. That way, he could pretend he was running away from his father’s control for a while longer.

~~~

It wasn’t supposed to go like this. He thought as he stared at the canopy of his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory.

Draco should have pushed him away. Theo had expected him to push him away. Draco befriended him instead. And then, Draco was asking him to be friends with a Muggleborn. And Theo was lost.

Father said he had to be friends with Draco but he also said not to be friends with any ‘Mudblood’. But therein laid the problem. If he wanted to be friends with Draco, he had to be friends with Hermione Granger. Or he could just ignore Father’s stupid orders and not make any new friends. Pansy and Daphne were enough for him.

Just as he had started considering that, the Sorting Ceremony started. Draco got into Slytherin. That would probably solve Theo’s problem. Muggleborns didn’t get into Slytherin. So Draco and Granger’s friendship would be short-lived. But then, Granger got into Slytherin and Theo had to shut his mouth before people saw him gaping like an idiot. He barely registered Neville Longbottom — Draco’s best friend — being sorted into Gryffindor before his own name was called.

Theo walked up to the hat. He didn’t feel nervous about the Sorting. He didn’t like having all eyes on him either though, so he wished the hat would just hurry up and send him to Slytherin.

“Slytherin? Oh, I would hardly condone that.”

Theo’s eyes turned upwards to the hat, then back at the hall. Why had nobody told him that the hat talked during the Sorting?

“I want to go to Slytherin… sir?” Theo whispered uncertainly.

“And let all this courage go to waste? No, no, no. I know exactly where to put you—”

“I have to get into Slytherin.”

“I don’t send you where you have to go, but where you will thrive the most. And that’s not Slytherin.”

So Theo started chanting ‘Ravenclaw’ in his head. His father would be disappointed if he didn’t get into Slytherin but Ravenclaw should be fine. Ravenclaw meant he was smart. So he chanted and hoped.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Theo felt all the blood drain out of him. The deadly silence in the hall made it seem like a nightmare. This can’t be happening, after all. Courage? Where had the hat seen courage in there? Theo didn’t even have enough courage to stand up to his father.

The first clap came from the Slytherin table. It was Granger. Theo knew he must not associate with her but… but just for now, someone clapping helped. Draco clapped too. Both Slytherins. Maybe Theo had heard wrong and he got into Slytherin after all.

Theo was ready to take the first tentative step to the Slytherin table when Neville Longbottom started clapping from the Gryffindor table and made a gesture for him to come over. Saved from the embarrassment of walking to the wrong table at least, Theo approached the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Longbottom. All the while the phrase ‘this has to be a mistake,’ ran through his head.

Now, in his new dorm room with its red and gold colours, reality had finally started to settle in. Father would kill him.

Theo was supposed to get into Slytherin, keep up some manner of cordiality with his roommates and hang out with Pansy and Daphne for the rest of the time. He had made such a perfect plan. He couldn’t believe it had all gone down the drain due to a stupid hat finding courage in him.

He could not understand. He didn’t want to understand. He just wanted this nightmare to end so he could go back to his friends, so he made his father proud. But until the nightmare was over, Theo needed to deal with this properly.

Longbottom had extended a hand of friendship to him already. Theo could work with this. At least Longbottom was a pureblood. One whose parents weren’t friends with Father but a pureblood nonetheless.

He could make this work. He had to make this work.

~~~

The Howler from his father made him want to cry but he kept the tears in. Notts didn’t show their tears. Never. Father hadn’t allowed him to cry in public even when Mother died. So he waited until he went back to his dorm to cry.

Pansy hadn’t called out to him that first day. Nor the second.

Daphne confronted him on the third. She pulled him aside in a secluded corner of a corridor.

“Are you alright?” She asked, kindly.

Theo considered lying but Daphne was his childhood friend.

“Not really.” He sighed. “Father will kill me when I return home. You heard the Howler.”

“Yeah… That was awful.” She took his hand in hers. “But you’re his only family. Let him cool off a little bit. He will get over it.”

“You really think so…?” Theo wanted to believe her.

“I know for a fact that he loves you.” She smiled at him. “He’s just really bad at showing it.”

“Tremendously bad.” Theo snorted.

“Remember that time Pansy jumped off the first-floor window and you jumped after her to save her? How old were we? Seven?”

“Six.” Theo corrected. “Pansy got out of it with a few bruises but I broke my leg.”

“And you also fell unconscious for an hour or two.” Daphne said. “And I was there. I saw your father and he was pale as a ghost. Before I even had time to react, he carried you inside and started running diagnostic spells on you. He only took care of Pansy’s bruises after he made sure you were alright.”

“I… I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, you were unconscious through it.” She chuckled.

“Speaking of Pansy… She… Has she been avoiding me?” Theo asked, hesitantly. He didn’t know if he wanted the answer.

“Well…” Daphne shuffled her feet. “She’s having a hard time wrapping her head around it. And there’s also the matter with Malfoy.”

“Black.” Theo said immediately.

Daphne gave him a look. “Right. Black.”

“And you?”

“Honestly? School is overwhelming me at the moment.” She shrugged. “I don’t have anything against you, Theo, and I want to stay friends. Let’s try to keep up appearances though, alright?”

Theo nodded.

He left a corridor with one less weight on his shoulders. Daphne hadn’t forsaken him and he hadn’t broken their friendship.

That was good enough for now.

~~~

Theo wished Pansy would hurry up and talk to him again. A whole week had gone by without their usual gossip hour. The first time Pansy talked to him after the Sorting, however, did not give him the respite he had hoped for.

Pansy didn’t even direct her first words to him but to Neville. Her words were anything but kind and Theo had blanched. He just stared at her like she had grown a second head. When she finally looked at him, her eyes challenged him to speak. What she wanted him to say, Theo had no idea. He said nothing.

She huffed and walked away with another jab at Neville, who broke into tears after Pansy left. Theo spent the rest of the break trying to make him feel better. Theo doubted he achieved much. He couldn’t even make himself feel better about what had happened.

His relationship with Pansy came to a start when she stole Neville’s Remembrall and challenged him to the air. Theo had been treading carefully up to that point. Pansy had been his friend since forever but Neville was his friend too now. He couldn’t just let her belittle Neville like that. He started talking back.

Theo never intended to accept the duel Pansy proposed a couple of hours later. Pansy was still his friend. He hoped so, at least.

Draco had accepted it for him. So, now, he had to sneak off in the middle of the night. And Draco brought along Granger, of all people. They found Neville in one of the corridors too and he wouldn’t let Theo go meet Pansy alone. September still wasn’t over and he was already sneaking out at night. What had he gotten himself into? He sighed and surrendered to his destiny.

When Pansy didn’t show, Theo could feel the end of their relationship approaching. When Filch showed up instead, the end had come and gone. Pansy didn’t see him as a friend anymore and it was obvious.

Theo had to put aside how heartbroken he was feeling for the moment as they ran to escape Filch. The three-headed dog proved a very well-timed distraction. They ran back out of the room as soon as they saw it and didn’t stop running until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor.

Theo’s heart beat rapidly. He took a deep breath, trying to regather his wits and then glared at Draco.

“I’m never doing that again. Just for your information.”

“Seconded.” Granger gasped out.

Theo gave her an appreciative look. Thank god, someone else was sane around here.

Draco huffed and turned to a terrified Neville. He stroked his back soothingly. “I’m sorry.”

Theo sighed in exasperation and was pleasantly surprised when he noticed Granger doing the same.

“What do they think they’re doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?” Theo asked finally.

“Didn’t you see what it was standing on?” Granger said.

“The floor?” Neville offered, finally regaining some colour on his face. “I wasn’t looking at its feet, I was too busy with its heads.”

“No, not the floor. It was standing on a trapdoor. It’s obviously guarding something.”

“From now on, whatever Draco proposes we do will only be executed after careful consideration.” Granger said. “I don’t want a repeat of today. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled.”

“Agreed.” Theo said at once, feeling his thoughts spoken.

“Hey! I am still here, you know? Neville?” Draco pleaded.

“Sorry, Draco… I have to agree with them on this.”

“You are all traitors! I am going to bed!” Draco said dramatically and stormed off.

Granger waved Theo and Neville goodbye before following after him.

Only when Neville was sound asleep and Theo comfortable under the covers of his bed, did he venture to think about Pansy again. The betrayal stung him more than he could ever imagine.

In his life, Theo had two constants: 1. His mother was dead and 2. Pansy Parkinson always had his back.

Pansy had always been there. Even before Daphne came along, Pansy was there. Pansy was the only one of his friends that had met his mother. Pansy was… she was always supposed to be there.

Theo allowed himself to cry. This was the end.

~~~

The days that followed, Theo allowed Granger in. He had tried keeping her at a distance before. He wanted to hold on to some stupid pureblood supremacy so he could stay friends with Pansy and Daphne. Well, Pansy had been pretty clear on where she stands on this. So Theo threw it all away.

And Hermione didn’t disappoint. Whoever said Muggleborns are lesser than them must have been drunk or had a concussion. Theo found in Hermione a fellow nerd. Especially after they stopped Snape from killing Draco, the two grew closer than ever. Theo enjoyed their talks. It started with school subjects but soon became something more. Theo would tell her about the Wizarding World and Hermione would tell him about the Muggle one.

Theo had grown up hearing how Muggles were the lesser beings. But what he was hearing now? The sheer quantity of things Muggles had created? He couldn’t help but admire each and every one of them. If his parents hadn’t been so anti-Muggle, maybe Theo would have a video of his mother now.

His days continued in a weird mix of unnecessary drama (caused by Draco), talks about the Muggle world (with Hermione) and calm moments in lessons and the Gryffindor common room (with Neville and sometimes Lily Moon). Lily had been kind to him from the first moment and her kindness hadn’t ended there. She talked to Theo. She didn’t make him feel unwelcome in Gryffindor.

Daphne wouldn’t talk to him outright but she would still wave at him in the corridors. That translated to ‘I’m keeping up appearances but we are still friends’ and that was a comfort in its own way.

All in all, Theo had fun. He hadn’t had this much fun in a while. School was great. It was only when he saw Pansy that his stomach turned. Her betrayal still hurt. But his new friends didn’t allow him much space to get sad over it. Draco kept them all busy with all the danger and mischief he got into.

~~~

Then, came Christmas.

Theo mostly felt like a good dream was coming to an end. Father had asked him to come back. In a way, that meant he wasn’t disowned just yet. That didn’t stop him from worrying his lip till it bled on the last day of term.

He tried not to imagine what Father would do to him. He tried to spend more time with Neville instead. Neville always provided comfort to him, even if he was unaware of it.

He said his goodbyes at the platform and waited for Father to come pick him up. A good distance away from his new friends. Father wouldn’t approve of them.

“Theodore.”

Theo turned to face his father. He held his back straight and his eyes on Father’s face. He couldn’t decipher the expression Father had on.

Without another word, Father started walking away and Theo followed him all the way to a dingy alley. Father offered his hand and Theo took it.

Theo hadn’t expected any display of affection in public but it hurt when his father only ordered him to his room even in the privacy of the Nott Manor. Theo compiled, of course.

His bed taunted him, dressed in silver and green. The room he had spent all his life in felt foreign around him. He avoided sitting on his bed and opened his trunk instead. No time like the present to unpack.

He took out the schoolbooks he had brought along and set them down on his desk. He didn’t bother taking out his clothes. He wouldn’t be staying long enough to use them. His wardrobe there held most of his outfits anyway.

Not sure if he could venture inside the rest of the house, he settled down on his desk and began studying. Maybe he could appease Father this way. Around noon, Effie, their house elf brought him lunch and he was only called downstairs for dinner.

He put his books neatly away, only leaving the essay he was in the middle of writing in the open to dry. Taking a quick look in the mirror and straightening his clothes, he headed to the dining room.

Father sat at the head of the table and Effie had put the second set of plates next to him. That was a good sign. When Father had been angry in the past, he had Theo sit down on the other side. So he wasn’t angry.

Theo sat down with careful moves as he greeted his father. His father returned the greeting and gestured for him to eat. They ate in silence. Gryffindors were extremely loud when eating so Theo had gotten unused to eating in silence. It made him full of trepidation.

As soon as they had both finished with their food, Father wiped his mouth with a napkin and finally fixed his eyes on Theo.

“How is school, Theodore?”

“They gave us a lot of homework but I can handle it, Father.” Theo fought to keep his feet still.

Father nodded and took a sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving Theo.

“And your friends?”

“I managed to befriend Draco.” Theo said after much consideration. Out of all the things Father wanted him to achieve in school, this was the only one he managed. Well, except for the good grades. He could manage good grades.

“What kind of person is he?”

Theo didn’t know how he felt about the conversation shifting to Draco but he would take any chance he could to avoid the topic of Hermione right now.

“He’s… unique. Smart.” Theo tried to find adverbs other than mischievous, reckless and funny to describe his friend. Don’t get him wrong; he loved those qualities. He just knew Father wouldn’t be pleased.

“Famous?” Father offered.

“Ehm… yeah.” Theo forced a smile. “He got into the Quidditch team.”

“I heard.”

“He’s a really good player.”

“And a Slytherin, of course.” Father’s eyes darkened.

See? This is why Theo always had half a mind to dig a hole in their dining room. He could have gotten in now and hidden if he had dug a hole. He hadn't. So Theo stayed as still as he could and tried to make himself invisible. Which obviously didn’t work.

“Do you have something to tell me, Theodore?”

“I…” A shiver ran down his spine. “I am sorry I didn’t get into Slytherin, Father. I— I don’t know what the Hat saw. I swear it wasn’t intentional.”

“The problem isn’t that you didn’t get into Slytherin.” Father sighed. Theo could feel the disappointment. “I always knew you had quite the potential for Ravenclaw too. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you ended up there. But Gryffindor? Really, Theodore? How did you even manage that?”

“I… I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.”

Another sigh.

Theo hated disappointing Father. That was the reason he had always tried his best to abide by his father’s wishes. He didn’t want to see his father like this. It was too close to how Father looked after Mother’s death and Theo hated it.

“How are you settling in with your housemates then? They must be rather obnoxious.”

“They are.” Theo fought to keep the fondness out of his voice. “I have been keeping to myself mostly. Except—...”

“Except?” Father intoned.

“Neville. Neville Longbottom.” Theo lowered his eyes. “He’s a pureblood. So, I thought it would be acceptable if I conversed with him.” Lying through his teeth was what he was doing. He couldn’t tell his father that Neville made him feel comfort like nobody else had done before.

“That is acceptable, yes. Not ideal, but acceptable.” Father said. “Anyone else?”

“There’s another Gryffindor. Lily Moon. A Halfblood.” Theo shuffled his feet. “We talk sometimes.”

“Hmm.” Father nodded. “And Slytherins?”

“Daphne has been nice to me.”

Father rolled his eyes. “Apart from Miss Parkinson and Miss Greengrass. I couldn’t tear you apart when you were little. I can’t imagine a different house would manage it.”

Theo wanted to tell him how wrong he was, how Pansy betrayed him, how she hated him now. But he didn’t.

“There’s no one else, sir.”

“Strange.” Father said dryly. “Because I have heard from reliable sources that you have been fraternising with a Mudblood.”

Theo unconsciously gripped his thighs tightly. Act. Act. Act. He put on the most incredulous face he could and grinned.

“Who? Granger? I only tolerate her for Draco’s sake.” Theo fought to keep his breathing even. Praying to anybody up there not to let his father realise. “Draco and she are very close together. Inevitably, I end up talking to her to keep Draco’s favour.”

Father regarded him carefully for what felt like aeons but had to be a couple of seconds at most. Cold sweat ran down Theo’s back the entire time.

“Good.” Father said eventually. “Keep that up. Maintaining your friendship with Draco is of foremost importance at the moment.”

“Yes, Father.”

When Father finally sent him back to his room, Theo forewent any kind of preparation and fell on his bed, face first. The green colour still taunted him but he was so exhausted, he didn’t want to move for the next two weeks.

Just the thought that he had to survive two weeks' worth of dinners like this had his stomach cramping. He could get through this. He could do it. He just had to lie his way through it.

~~~

During the second week of the holidays, Pansy and Daphne came to visit. Theo had been expecting Daphne, alone. He couldn’t help but glare at Pansy when he saw her entering the building. Thankfully, Father didn’t notice.

Father greeted the girls cordially and told Theo to go play. With a certain tension in the air, Theo led the girls to their usual playing spot in winter: the library.

“Theo…” Pansy said softly as soon as Theo shut the door behind them.

“I didn’t expect you to come.” He said coldly.

Pansy lowered her gaze.

“Come on now, guys.” Daphne stepped between them. “I am sure we can keep school life and private life separate, right?”

“She tried to get me expelled!” Theo said.

“Well, I wouldn’t have.” Pansy said. “It’s your fault for ditching me.”

“Ditching you? You stopped talking to me!”

“You got into Gryffindor!”

“I didn’t choose that!”

“Enough.” Daphne stepped between them, holding her arms up, stopping them from getting closer. “We are going to sit down, have a cup of tea and we are going to talk.”

They sat down around the fireplace in the library. Daphne and Theo took the armchairs, while Pansy made herself comfortable on the sofa. Theo called the Effie and asked for tea, which the house elf served them just five minutes later.

“So.” Daphne said. “How about we start at the beginning?”

“Sure.” Pansy spat and faced Theo. “Why did you get into Gryffindor? Ravenclaw, I would understand, but Gryffindor?”

“I didn’t ask for this. The hat chooses.”

“Maybe you secretly wanted to get away from us.”

“What?” Theo gaped. “Whyever would I want that? You two are my best friends.”

“Oh.” Pansy blushed.

Daphne let out a grave sigh.

“So, wait.” Theo tried to wrap his mind around this. “You started harassing Neville because you thought I didn’t want to be friends with you anymore? That I preferred him?”

“Well, you do, don’t you?”

“Maybe because he’s actually talking to me?” Theo said, exasperated. “Pansy, you have to understand that I didn’t choose to be a Gryffindor and I had no allies there. I suck at making friends. You know that. And unlike the rest of the Gryffindors, Neville didn’t hate me. You weren’t talking to me. What was I supposed to do? Brood in silence?”

“Of course not. I just—”

“Oh let me guess. This is about Draco.” Theo glared.

“Alright, that’s a bit of a low blow.” Daphne cut in. “They were engaged, you know.”

“When they were babies! You don’t even like him.” Theo said. “And maybe if you had just gotten off your high horse, Draco would actually like you.”

“Oh, believe me.” Parkinson huffed. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Theo frowned.

Pansy’s brows knitted together like she was fighting with something. Eventually, her brows relaxed and she let out a loud sigh.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Daphne and Theo shared confused glances, meaning Daphne had no idea either.

“You know…” Daphne spoke up after a prolonged silence. “I think this is just about us having a hard time adjusting in school. It’s a new environment. Nothing like our three-people adventures. We are so concentrated on finding our place there that we are not thinking straight.”

“You are talking like a grown-up.” Pansy said.

“That must be because, I, unlike you two, talked to my parents about this.” Daphne huffed.

“Glad your parents are ask-able then.” Theo said. “My father would rather roll down in the dirt than talk about feelings.”

“My mother was far more interested in the gossip than how I was feeling.” Pansy said.

“Your families are so emotionally constipated, I pity you.” Daphne sighed again.

“Big word.”

Theo chuckled and before he noticed, the scene had changed to him and Pansy teasing Daphne about it and Daphne showing off her adult-knowledge and it didn’t even matter that Pansy almost got him expelled anymore.

Maybe he could have this, just for the holidays.

~~~

Theo’s Slytherin life ended together with the holidays. Back at Hogwarts, Pansy and Daphne stopped talking to him again. He felt a small tinge of sadness but he could easily cover it with the warmth Neville and (occasionally) Lily’s company provided.

Draco still made a mess and Hermione still provided all the possible Muggle knowledge Theo could ask for. It wasn’t just them though. Ron Weasley had warmed up to Theo as well. Potter, whom Draco still obstinately refused to call a friend, however, seemed to loathe Theo with ferocity.

Theo didn’t particularly mind. He actually found how the rest of them didn’t loathe him strange. Potter hated him for very good reasons.

So, when Theo saw Draco storm off the Slytherin table in fury and just moments later saw Potter leave, each of his steps heavy with regret, Theo had to know what happened. Because it didn’t look just like another rejection of friendship.

“He called him the ‘name’.” Hermione said cryptically when Theo asked.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to, but still...” Weasley said.

“I will talk to him.” Theo said.

“You will?” Weasley said in disbelief.

“Theo, no offence, but…” Hermione bit her lip. “I don’t think he will listen to you.”

“Just let me try.”

~~~

He found Potter outside, crying.

“Potter?” He called out tentatively.

Potter hastily wiped his eyes before turning around to face him. “What do you want, Nott?”

Theo didn’t let his angry expression deter him. He raised his hands in surrender. “I just… are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” Very believable.

“Hermione told me what happened.”

“Of course she did.” Harry huffed.

“I just wanted to say… It's not the end of the world. You can still, you know, fix this.”

“He hates that name!”

“But it just slipped out, right?” Theo forced a smile. “I’m sure Draco will be understanding if you just apologise to him. He’s pretty forgiving, I think.”

“What’s it to you, Nott? Why do you care?” Potter looked at him with distrust.

“I do understand why you hate me.” Theo turned his back on Potter, forcing his eyes closed and taking a deep breath to steady his voice. “Honestly, what I can’t understand is why Draco has dubbed me his friend. But he did.” He glanced back at Potter. “I think you hurt him, but he doesn’t really want to push you away. I can tell.”

“How?” Harry glared.

“Slytherins wear a hundred masks per day.” Theo wasn’t sure if he was still talking about Draco or Pansy or himself. “The feelings under those masks? They are complicated and full of paradoxes. I might be in Gryffindor but I’ve lived in a place like that for years. I know how it is.”

“So you are doing this because you think Draco wants to be my friend?”

“I don’t know if friend is the right word, but yes.” Theo had the distinct impression that both Draco and Potter wanted something more out of this but he couldn’t quite place it.

He just hoped he had convinced Potter to apologise to Draco. Draco deserved that.

~~~

Theo opted to ignore any mention Draco and the rest of the Slytherins made about Snape and the Philosopher’s Stone and tried to concentrate on his exams. It was only April but his father’s expectations forced him into a constant anxious mode. He had to do good.

As far as Theo knew, studying had always been a private affair but Draco and Neville made it a thing to almost always study together. So, naturally, Hermione and Theo were pulled into it and soon Weasley, Potter and Lily were onto them as well. How these studying groups normally worked he didn’t know, but theirs changed its form every time. Sometimes Theo would help Neville out and others he would be pulled into intensive debates with Hermione. Others yet, he had to fight to keep Draco from attempting a dangerous experiment.

Amidst this pleasant chaos, Theo came to realise that studying could be fun. Not a chore, not a lonely activity. It didn’t have to be.

Now, don’t misunderstand. Theo loved learning new stuff. He just hated having to memorise them in a way that fit the exam but now studying had taken on a new effect. Draco would argue each point he couldn’t accept. Ron — for he turned into Ron halfway through one of their studying sessions — and Potter would try and persuade him with their limited knowledge and then Hermione would have to step in. All the while, Lily and Neville snickered in the background.

Theo should hate this mess. He was losing precious studying time but he found he didn’t mind at all. New. It was all new and foreign and he couldn’t even express how much he loved it.

~~~

Theo hadn’t liked the whole dragon business from the very start. It made no sense and he couldn’t believe how onboard with it Lily and Draco were.

When Pansy saw them, Theo sought her out. He didn’t have any love for Hagrid but he didn’t want his friends in trouble. Pansy evaded his questioning and ignored his pleas.

“Maybe pick a side already?” She huffed. “You are a Gryffindor. You chose them. You can’t come back to me like we are still friends. At least, not at school.”

“I don’t want to pick a side.”

“Let me set this straight for you, Theo.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Even if you were a Slytherin, you would still have to pick a side. It’s me or Malfoy.” Her eyes glinted dangerously. “And you’ve made your choice painfully clear.”

Theo watched her walk away with what felt like a boulder in his stomach. He couldn’t pick. Not when Pansy was his best friend since childhood and Neville made him all soft and cuddly inside. And choosing Neville, inevitably meant he chose Draco. But Theo hadn’t chosen anything. He didn’t want to.

He did anyway.

When, thanks to Pansy, Neville almost got expelled, Theo made his choice.

He started actively ignoring Pansy. He didn’t even acknowledge her silent nod — a form of greeting she still gave him when she felt generous. He had had enough. Theo couldn’t choose so Pansy chose for him. Very well then. She made her choice. Theo would be all too happy to oblige — even if it tore him up inside.

The day after Draco, Potter and Neville almost got expelled, Theo gave them a very good scolding. Draco and Neville, especially. Maybe he was taking it out on them a bit. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t make him choose. Theo was fairly certain that they would have accepted it if he said he wanted to still be friends with Pansy. They were good friends and suddenly Theo didn’t know how he ever survived without them.

~~~

A week before exams, Draco started meddling in adult affairs again and, naturally, the rest of their group was all too excited to join the brainstorming party.

“That’s enough.” Theo snapped at them. “No more meddling in adult business from any of you again. We have exams. Concentrate on them if you have free time.”

Everyone fell silent. Potter attempted to speak but Theo glared at him as ominously as he could and his mouth shut immediately. Nobody dared say a word on the subject again and Theo hoped it would stay that way.

Later that day, Theo drilled Neville about the truth behind Potter’s statement. Because after Draco’s story, Potter — who everyone knew that hated Snape — defended Snape’s innocence. What ticked Theo off wasn’t that Potter knew. It was that Neville hadn’t told him. Neville surrendered the information too easily.

“He’s Draco’s godfather.” Neville said, looking anywhere but Theo’s face. “So, you see, there’s no way he wants him dead. Draco probably told Harry at some point. I don’t know when.”

“Why is he even hiding that?” Theo frowned.

“He didn’t want people thinking Snape takes it easy on him.” Neville shrugged. “Some weird Hufflepuff mentality about it not being fair for others or something. I don’t get it either.”

Theo nodded dumbly.

If Snape was innocent, then that did beg the question of ‘who is after the Stone?’. Theo spent the better part of two hours thinking just that in his bed. Then he slapped himself.

“Get a grip, Theodore.” He whispered to himself. “If you’ve got time to think about that, study.” He was the one who said ‘no getting involved’ after all.

~~~

After Neville’s night in the Forbidden Forest to serve detention, Theo had to quite literally hug him to sleep. He was shaking when he came back. Theo had to help him get undressed and put on his pajamas because his hands trembled terribly.

He tucked Neville in bed and was ready to go lie down himself but Neville grabbed his wrist and made the most lethal puppy face Theo had ever seen.

“Stay.”

He mumbled the word so softly. The distinct image of a wounded unicorn invaded Theo’s mind and he took a deep steadying breath before gesturing for Neville to scooch over before getting under the covers next to him.

Neville snuggled up to him like an overgrown koala and Theo — to his own surprise — let him. He would deny as much in the morning, but the feeling of Neville’s arms and legs around him made his breathing that much easier. He fell asleep before he even realised.

~~~

During their exams, Neville kept requesting Theo’s presence in his bed. Theo should have put a stop to it on the third day after the forest. He couldn’t possibly still be shaken by what happened.

But the puppy eyes…

Theo resigned himself to his fate. He still wouldn’t admit to liking the arrangement though. Why would he? It wasn’t like the mere idea of tender touches was a foreign concept to him for the better half of his life, right?

Daphne’s voice infiltrated his head sometimes, softly whispering the word ‘touch-starved’ as she had called him two or three years ago. Theo had denied it then and he denied it now.

So what if he liked Neville holding him close? He wasn’t touch-starved.

Salazar, his father would have a stroke if he ever heard of this…

~~~

Hermione proved a wonderful friend right after exams. Theo spent a good hour or two discussing the exam questions after every lesson. Pansy and Daphne hadn’t been bad students by any means, but neither enjoyed talking about studying this much. So Theo soaked Hermione’s excitement in and got even more motivated to do well in the remaining exams.

Father would kill him if he could hear his thoughts now but, honestly, Theo had stopped caring. Call it exam high, or something. Father wasn’t there. He couldn’t see and he couldn’t hear. So Theo could be friends with Hermione and leave Father none the wiser.

After their final exam, an odd sense of relaxation washed over them all, Theo included. He couldn’t do anything more but pray his answers were correct and he got a decent grade.

Only Potter didn’t seem happy with the end of their exams. Theo attributed it to bad performance in the exams themselves until Ron pointed it out.

“I am just worried about the Stone.” Potter said. “And Black’s scar keeps hurting all the time, lately. If anything, why are you guys so calm?”

“I’m fine, Potter.” Draco called out nonchalantly.

“I think it’s a warning… It means danger’s coming...” Potter said.

Frankly, Theo had decided on ignoring the whole not-Snape wanting to steal the Stone and Draco’s scar hurting in favour of studying. But, what the heck? Exams were over. He could spare some moments to seriously consider this.

“Harry, relax, Draco’s right, the Stone’s safe as long as Dumbledore’s around.” Ron said. “Anyway, we’ve never had any proof Snape found out how to get past Fluffy. He nearly had his leg ripped off once, he’s not going to try it again in a hurry. And Neville will play Quidditch for England before Hagrid lets Dumbledore down.”

“It is not Snape.” Theo said, then glared. “And Neville could play just fine if he was not so nervous.”

“Fine! I don’t know how you know it’s not Snape but whatever!” Ron groaned.

“More importantly, Draco, about Horntails, their reproduction speed is usually—” Lily said, trying to resume their previous conversation and Theo’s mind made a leap.

An unworldly sound left his throat. Theo didn’t think the sound gave justice to the shock and panic he felt, though. Horntails — Dragons — Hagrid’s dragon — how did Hagrid get the egg so easily — staged — a trap — why — Fluffy.

He jumped to his feet and stormed ahead towards the direction of Hagrid’s hut.

“Where’re you going?” Neville asked.

“We’ve got to go and see Hagrid, now.” Theo replied curtly.

“Why?” Draco and Potter asked simultaneously.

Theo barely registered his friends following him as he fought to turn his sparse thoughts into words that made sense.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything else is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have an egg in his pocket?” His pace didn’t slow. “How many people wander around with dragon eggs? Lucky they found Hagrid, don’t you think? Why didn’t we notice this before?”

“What are you talking about?” Ron asked.

Hagrid was sitting in an armchair outside his house. He greeted them warmly but before he could even greet them, Theo cut him off.

“Hagrid, I’ve got to ask you something. You know that night you won Norbert? What did the stranger you were playing cards with look like?”

“Dunno, he wouldn’ take his cloak off.” Hagrid replied casually.

Theo stared at him, prompting him to go on.

“It’s not that unusual, yeh get a lot o’ funny folk in the Hog’s Head - that’s one o’ the pubs down in the village. Mighta bin a dragon dealer, mightn’ he? I never saw his face, he kept his hood up.”

“What did you talk to him about, Hagrid?” Potter said suddenly, probably catching Theo’s drift. “Did you mention Hogwarts at all?”

“Mighta come up…” Hagrid pondered for a bit. “Yeah... he asked what I did, an’ I told him I was gamekeeper here... He asked a bit about the sorta creatures I look after...so I told him… an’ I said what I’d always really wanted was a dragon… an’ then... I can’ remember too well, ’cause he kept buyin’ me drinks... Let’s see… yeah, then he said he had the dragon egg an’ we could play cards fer it if I wanted... but he had ter be sure I could handle it, he didn’ want it ter go ter any old home... So I told him, after Fluffy, a dragon would be easy...”

“And did he... did he seem interested in Fluffy?” Theo asked, impatiently. He knew Hagrid meant well but, sometimes, Theo felt a certain urge to bash his head in. Not that he could, considering his size.

“Well, yeah, how many three-headed dogs d’yeh meet, even around Hogwarts? So I told him, Fluffy’s a piece o’ cake if yeh know how to calm him down, jus’ play him a bit o’ music an’ he’ll go straight off ter sleep —” Hagrid must have come to a realisation then for he suddenly looked horrified. “I shouldn’ta told yeh that!” He blurted out. “Forget I said it! Hey! Where’re yeh goin’?”

Theo didn’t answer, and neither did his friends. They stormed back to the castle. Potter said they should go to Dumbledore so they headed for his office but were intercepted by McGonagall.

“What are you three doing inside?” Professor McGonagall’s voice resounded in the corridor. She was carrying a large pile of books.

“We want to see Professor Dumbledore.” Hermione said.

“See Professor Dumbledore?” Professor McGonagall repeated. “Why?”

“It’s sort of a secret...” Lily replied weakly.

“Professor Dumbledore left ten minutes ago.” She replied coldly. “He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and flew off for London at once.”

“He’s gone? Now?” Neville asked frantically.

This was bad. This was infinitely bad, Theo thought, as he fought to find a way to convince McGonagall of the gravity of the situation.

“Professor Dumbledore is a very great wizard. He has many demands on his time-”

“But this is important!” Potter whined.

“Something you have to say is more important than the Ministry of Magic, Potter?”

“Professor! This is about the Sorcerer’s Stone...!”

Whatever Professor McGonagall had expected, it wasn’t that. The books she was carrying tumbled out of her arms, but she didn’t pick them up. “How do you know...?”

“Professor, we think that someone’s going to try and steal the Stone. We’ve got to talk to Professor Dumbledore.”

Well, Potter was doing a very fine job on his own. He really threw Theo off sometimes. It was like the boy had at least four different personalities.

McGonagall eyed them all with a mixture of shock and suspicion.

“Professor Dumbledore will be back tomorrow. I don’t know how you found out about the Stone, but rest assured, no one can possibly steal it, it’s too well protected.”

“But Professor...!” Potter whined again.

“Potter, I know what I’m talking about. I suggest you all go back outside and enjoy the sunshine.” She said and, after picking up the fallen books, left.

“It’s tonight.” Ron said once McGonagall was out of earshot. “Snape’s going through the trapdoor tonight. He’s found out everything he needs, and now he’s got Dumbledore out of the way. He sent that note. I bet the Ministry of Magic will get a real shock when Dumbledore turns up.”

“But what can we...” Lily started but Hermione shushed her.

Snape was standing behind them.

“Good afternoon.” Snape said coldly. Theo briefly wondered if they should try their luck with him instead. “You shouldn’t be inside on a day like this.” He continued with an odd smile.

“We were—” Hermione began.

“You want to be more careful. Hanging around like this, people will think you’re up to something." He aimed his eyes at Draco. “And some parents might be rather upset when word reaches their ears.”

With Snape’s warning weighing them down, they made to go back outside. Snape called out to Draco though.

“Be warned, Black. Any more nighttime wanderings and I will personally make sure you are expelled. Good day to you.” He strode off in the direction of the staffroom.

So they couldn’t tell Snape either. Great.

As soon as they were back outside, Potter started laying out more trouble.

“We should stalk around the third-floor corridor and then we can stop whoever comes for the Stone.”

“No.” Theo said immediately.

“You are the one who figured this out, Nott.” Potter grunted. “How can you step out now?”

“I am all for informing someone about this.” Theo said. “But we are not going to stand in the way of danger like that. We are first years.”

“So?”

“So, we hardly know any useful spells. Even if we go, the thief will just blast us apart and keep going. We can’t beat an adult wizard with first-year magic tricks.”

“There’s power in numbers.” Hermione said. “There’s seven of us.”

“For all we know, this thief might well come here today with dozens of his friends. There’s no guarantee he will come alone.”

“Stop being such a coward, Nott.” Potter scoffed. “How you got into Gryffindor is beyond me.”

Theo saw red.

“I have no freaking idea, alright!?” He snapped. “I didn’t ask to be put in Gryffindor and I sure as hell am not going to let my friends walk straight into danger.” He didn’t wait to hear Potter’s answer. He grabbed Neville and Lily and dragged them towards the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

He took a last glance at the Slytherins before they turned the corner and glared at each of them individually. “If you know what’s good for you, you four should stay out of it too. Let the adults handle it.”

~~~

“Theo?” Neville said after they settled down in a secluded corner of the common room. “Harry didn’t mean to…”

“I know.” Theo sighed. “He’s right anyway. I am not cut out to be a Gryffindor. At the end of the day, I’m just a coward.”

“If it’s any consolation,” said Neville, “I suck at this too.”

Theo felt his lips quirk upwards. At least, he wasn’t alone in this.

“Talk about low spirits.” Lily said as she walked up to them. She had broken off when they entered the dorms to go retrieve something from her room. She held it out to them now.

“What’s that?”

She grinned and brought out a pack of cards.

“Exploding Snap?” Neville said.

“Thought it would help you relax a bit.” She grinned and shuffled the cards. “You do realise you both look ready to fight a dragon, right?”

“What?” Theo frowned.

“The looks on your faces.” She grinned and laid down the cards. “You say you are not made up to be Gryffindors, but I see no fear in your faces. You are just worried about your friends. I bet you would be the first to step forward if they were in imminent danger.” She smiled sheepishly. “Am I wrong?”

Something settled in Theo. Like Lily put the final puzzle piece in its rightful place. Theo had it wrong from the start. Being a Gryffindor didn't mean being reckless. It meant being brave enough to step in the line of fire for the people you love and that, Theo could manage.

They played the game multiple times. Throughout, Lily’s words echoed in his mind. If anybody else said them, Theo would have dismissed them. But this was sweet and honest and headstrong Lily with an intuition a mile wide. Theo knew she was right.

The red on the walls stopped being threatening by the time they stopped playing. Theo and Neville said their goodnights to Lily and went up to their room. The rest of the boys were still back downstairs.

Theo and Neville shared a look and, right after putting on his pajamas, Theo walked straight to Neville’s bed without waiting for him to ask. He allowed Neville to drape his limbs all over him with no complaint and finally Theo found the courage to say it.

“I like this.” Theo said softly.

Neville grinned widely and tightened his grip.

Theo fell asleep right away.

~~~

He woke up to an unsettled Lily banging at their door.

Drowsily, he turned around to face the door.

Neville got up to let her in and she stormed inside.

“Draco and Ron are in the infirmary—” She panted. “They went to get the Stone last night.”

Theo and Neville shared a shocked look and hurriedly pulled their robes on top of their pajamas. They ran together with Lily to the Hospital Wing.

Ron was awake, so Theo gave him a piece of his mind before pulling Hermione and Potter outside to properly yell at them.

“Potter, I expected, but you too, Hermione? You knew how dangerous—”

“We had to—”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Calm down.” Lily said, voice flat. She had followed them outside. “Arguing about spilt milk isn’t helping anyone.”

“But—”

“Ron is fine.” Lily said. “And Draco, Merlin bless him, is tough. He’s gonna be up and about before you realise and I don't want him waking up to us arguing.”

So Theo let it go. Or well, he stopped yelling at least. He didn’t stop pointing out how stupid and reckless they had been even when Draco was awake and kicking three days ago.

When Draco woke up, Theo witnessed a rare moment of extreme bravery from Neville. Snape had come to visit Draco and looked mad. Really mad. Despite that, Neville stood up to him like it was another Thursday. It didn’t take much for Theo to understand it wasn’t the first time.

Lily was right. Maybe they weren’t jumping into danger uncalled for, but they were ready to take a spell for their friends anytime.

Theo couldn’t help but feel oddly happy through the end-of-year feast even when Slytherin won the House Cup. For whatever reason, any dread he had felt going back home on Christmas was gone now.

Exam results came in and Theo was in third place right after Hermione and Draco. Maybe his father won’t like him coming after a Muggleborn, but he came after Draco too so whatever, right? Theo didn’t care anymore. He would cross whatever bridge was to come, and he would defend Hermione. No more lies.

So when Draco asked him if he would be okay at the platform, Theo grinned widely before replying.

“Well, I might get some discipline but nothing I can’t handle.” It wasn’t a lie. He felt confident enough to deal with it. “You take care of Neville during the holidays though. I can’t help but worry about him.” He added with a smile.

“Will do.” Draco chuckled. “You take care of yourself, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah~”

~~~

As he walked up to his father, Theo recalled the to-do list his father had made for him at the start of the year.

Become friends with Draco Malfoy.
Get good grades.
Make friends.
Stay out of trouble.

Well, he failed at the last one, but that was his father’s fault for believing anyone could be friends with Draco and stay out of trouble.

Standing before his father now, he felt confident again. Whatever the man threw at him, Theo was ready to take it. Be it love, or hate, or punishment. Theo would have it.

Caedman Nott hadn’t planned on having a Gryffindor son but he got him anyway so he could either get on with the program or keep living in a green-clad fantasy.

Theo was done being in denial. He was a Gryffindor and wasn’t ashamed of it. Not anymore.

Chapter Text

Her father had shielded her from the world when she was young. Lily was grateful. She understood where her condition put her but she wanted to get out there. Live it for herself.

She got her wish when her Hogwarts letter arrived. She had to fight her father to get permission to go but she was nothing short of a fighter. Having monthly transformations that took up all your stamina gave her plenty to fight for.

Back then, she had never considered that spending time with her father was something she would miss. Older and wiser now, she could feel the loss like a knife to the heart.

After the war, unlike Hermione’s parents, Father never came back from Japan. Whenever Lily had a week to spare, she would take off to visit him. Father visited her too those first couple of years after the war. Then he fell sick.

In June of 2003, Lily was going to take her final examination before getting her Healer’s certificate. She was beaming with both excitement and nerves for days before. In the back of her mind, she knew her father was sick. He had been since February. As soon as Lily passed this final exam, she would take the first Portkey she could find and go to him. She had already made a list of the reasons he had to come back to England to present to him.

The exam went off without a hitch. She stormed out of that room with her head held high and a promised Healer’s certificate next month. If she didn’t know any better, she would believe she could simply fly.

“Lily.”

With her smile still in place, she turned to face Theo. Naturally, Theo and Neville had been there to show their support.

“I passed.” Lily already had her arms wide open ready to accept Theo’s congratulatory embrace.

“Lily.” Theo said again and this time Lily actually looked at him. His mouth had settled in a straight line and his brows were knitted together.

“What’s wrong?” She let her arms fall back to her sides.

“It’s your father.”

It hurt.

It hurt more than she thought it would. Here she was, finally getting a Healer’s certificate and yet too late to help her sick father.

Neville had taken off as soon as the news reached them, Theo informed her. He would bring her father back. Lily barely registered what Theo said to her that afternoon. Theo held her tight against his chest and stroked her back but Lily couldn’t think.

Neville came back the next day. The three of them had officially started living together a year ago and Lily drank in the comfort they both provided. Lily didn’t even have to deal with anything concerning the funeral. Neville and Theo took care of everything.

Lily had kindly put the lid of the casket aside before the funeral and let her eyes take in her father for one last time. He was thinner than Lily remembered.

She hadn’t cried yet. It hadn’t settled in. Only when Lily took her father’s hand in hers did she finally allow herself to mourn.

“I did it, Dad.” She choked out, suppressing sobs. “I am gonna be a healer.”

His hand was cold in hers. She held onto it tight nonetheless. Her father hadn’t been the best parent around, but he was there and he had done the best he could.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out. “I should have been there. I’m sorry.” But no matter how much she apologised, it didn’t change the end result.

Father had died alone in a hospital bed on the other side of the world and his daughter — the daughter he had loved and cared for despite her condition — had been too busy, too caught up in her own life to be there.

~~~

Lily didn’t cry during the funeral. She didn’t really cry in front of people if she could help it. Neville and Theo watched her like she was a hunted animal after they got home.

When they went to sleep that night, Lily didn’t go. She didn’t feel like sleeping. She perched herself on the window sill and let the chilly wind kiss her face. The full moon taunted her from the sky. Lily hadn’t even noticed it was a full moon tonight. She usually noticed. Even after Remus and his research team created the pill that stopped the transformation, Lily always felt a certain unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach every full moon.

Tonight she didn’t.

It had become so easy now. Being a werewolf. She could take the pill once every month, and only at the final full moon of the year, did she let herself turn. Something about it being bad suppressing it every time. Whatever, she hadn’t turned in half a year and even when she did, Theo and Neville had been around in their animal forms to help her. Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione also tried to visit on that day, to help Lily have a better time. Turning wasn’t even that bad anymore.

She stared at the moon, silently resenting it. She remembered how hard it used to be. Not so much at home but at Hogwarts, those first two years before Theo and Neville found out.

She had lied her way through those years. Sneaking out at night, secretly receiving Wolfsbane potion from Severus. Sometimes, looking back, she didn’t know how she managed. Only Father knew back then. If it hadn’t been for him…

He had been trying to protect her. Lily blamed him for it sometimes, the lies she had to say to her friends, the pain she had to go through alone. She thought about it a lot back then. What if she told someone…? Just one person would have been enough. She wanted to share this. Father had instilled in her the ugly truth though. If anyone found out, they would hate her. They would chase her out.

The first two years had been hard but the worst was the third. Lily was ready to give up. She couldn’t take the secrecy and the solitude and the pain anymore. Most of all, she hated having to lie to her friends. She knew she had to, but it was getting harder and harder. Especially when Theo and Neville decided it was a good idea to try to force an answer out of her.

She had just caught the snitch in the game against Ravenclaw. She was partying along her Gryffindor housemates when Neville and Theo all but dragged her away to their room. The rest of the Gryffindor boys were still partying downstairs.

“What are you two doing?” She frowned. She had been having a great time downstairs and wanted to get back to it.

Steps sounded outside the door and Lily barely registered Theo pushing her under the blankets on Neville’s bed. She didn’t even have time to react before she felt someone else jumped on the bed. Judging by the smell, Neville and Theo. She heard the curtains being pulled shut and she surfaced to complain but Neville had a hand to her mouth in seconds.

“Muffliato.” Theo whispered.

Lily tried to fight out of Neville’s grip but Theo had also latched tightly onto her and held her arms, restraining her moves. Resigned, she listened to Dean and Seamus shuffle around the room. As soon as they left, Neville took his hand away and Theo loosened his grip on her.

She took a deep breath before twisting around and glaring at them.

“Why are you abducting me all of a sudden?”

“Because we are that desperate, Lily.” Theo said in a low voice. “You’ve been avoiding us.”

Lily snorted but she knew they were right. They had been snooping around, getting too close to her secret and Lily had to keep them away. They were her friends and she wanted to keep them. She couldn’t let her stupid condition mess with that. She finally had friends. She had a normal life.

“I have not?” She tilted her head to the side in fake indignity. “We are always together, guys. What is this about?”

Neville took hold of her hands.

“Lily, we know something is going on. We’ve noticed you being absent before, but this year it’s worse. You always look so pale and sickly after you disappear.” He spoke so softly that Lily just wanted to break and tell them everything.

“Just tell us, Lily.” Theo picked up. “We want to help.”

She lowered her eyes to the blanket.

“It’s nothing… Really.” It sounded like a lie even to her own ears. She should be better at lying by now. She can’t just break like this. Not like this.

Theo grabbed her face and pressed both his hands on her cheeks. Lily was forced to look up.

“Lily Moon.” He said in that motherly voice of his. “We are friends, aren’t we?”

Lily blinked in surprise. Theo was always so guarded about admitting anything to do with him going soft and having friends. Her eyes sought out Neville, who looked right back at her, mirroring her expression. Despite the tension, Lily chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Theo, confused, let go of Lily’s face.

“It’s just—” Neville started, but burst into laughter.

“— we never thought we would see the day you would say such a thing.” Lily found herself smiling.

“I— I am just worried.”

“I know, Theo.” Lily sighed. She felt bad for making her friends feel like this. “I know.”

“Lily, please. We want to help.” Neville pleaded. “Also, Theo might die from worry if you don’t tell us.” He added, cracking a smile.

Lily smiled sadly. She wanted to tell them. She wanted them to know and remain her friends. She needed them to accept her but she was scared. Scratch that, she was terrified. All the worst-case scenarios ran through her mind at light speed.

“If— If you don’t want to tell me… then I will leave.” Theo said. “Just… At least tell Nev… He’s really good at cheering people up. Please.”

Lily stared at him, guiltily and shook her head. This had nothing to do with Lily thinking Theo was an outsider and she at least needed to make that clear.

“Theo, if I am going to tell someone, it will be both of you.” She said. “I would never distinguish between you two like that. You are both my dear friends.”

Theo let out a sigh of relief.

Lily wished she could do something to make Theo understand how much he meant to her. She just hoped it had nothing to do with her secret though.

“I swear we will keep it a secret, Lily.” Neville said, returning on topic, unfortunately. “We won’t even tell the Slytherins if you don’t want us to.”

Theo nodded.

Lily watched both of their faces and let all the potential scenarios play in her head. She shouldn’t tell them. She really shouldn’t.

But she was tired. She was wearing thin. She had lost her appetite and she dragged her feet for a whole week after the last full moon. She slept more than was strictly necessary even on her good days. The thought of dropping out and asking her dad to homeschool her had assaulted her more times than she could count in the last week alone.

Looking at Theo and Neville now, she knew she couldn’t just leave them without a good explanation, at least. But what if they hated her…

It was Theo biting his lip so hard Lily was surprised it didn’t bleed that helped her make up her mind. Neville was right; Theo would die of worry. It was better if they hated her instead of worrying to death about her after she was gone.

“Alright.”

Theo and Neville glanced at each other, smiles creeping up on their faces.

“But you have to promise not to tell anyone. And I mean, anyone. Not even Draco. Okay?” It wouldn’t make much difference if they hated her after she told them though. She was hoping their friendship would at least make them keep quiet about it, even if they saw her as a monster and didn’t want to be anywhere near her.

The boys nodded.

Lily took a deep breath and let it out. Just her whole pain and trouble and history packed in three simple words.

“I’m a werewolf.”

~~~

She held onto the blanket so hard she thought she would rip it apart as she waited for the reaction. She wasn’t looking at them. She had set her eyes on the blanket and refused to look up. What would come, would come.

She waited.

Neville broke her out of her trance by throwing his arms around her and holding on as tightly as he could. Lily hesitated only a moment before leaning in, accepting the hug for what it was: acceptance.

“It must have been so hard…” Neville stroked her hair. “Why did you not tell us sooner, Lily?”

Lily fought to restrain tears that threatened to fall but sobs broke out of her throat anyway.

“It’s alright, Lily. I swear, it’s alright. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Neville said, gently. So gently Lily wanted to believe him but…

She shook her head.

“It’s not.” Neville said more sternly now. “This thing doesn’t have to hold you back, believe me. It will be okay. I promise it will be okay.”

“No… No, it won’t. It’s hard, Neville. It hurts... and it’s tiring and it’s so hard to keep hiding it.” She sobbed. “And it will never go away. I have to live with this. Forever. You don’t know what it’s like to—”

“My dad’s a werewolf too, Lily. I know what it’s like.”

Lily looked up at him, surprise written on her face. Was she hearing stuff or…? She didn’t even try to hide her crying.

Neville clutched her shoulders tightly.

“My dad’s also a werewolf.” He said. “And he has become a healer. He has a husband that cares for him and he even has me, a son. It will be alright, Lily. This doesn’t have to hold you back.”

“M-Mr Remus is… He is a werewolf…? Like me…?” Lily asked, lost. This sounded too good to be true. Remus Lupin-Black was a successful healer and he had a loving family. Something Lily never thought she would get. She couldn’t picture herself having a successful career, let alone a loving family.

“Yes.” Neville smiled. “And yet I can guarantee he is happy. He has friends who care for him nonetheless. You saw them at Hogsmeade, didn’t you?”

Lily sobbed and pushed her head against Neville’s robes.

“Y-you think… I can be like that too…? Even like this…?” Could she really dare to hope? Hope for a chance at happiness? A chance at being accepted? A chance that she thought had been stripped from her when she had been turned?

Neville strengthened his hold on her.

“I’m certain of it. You have us, for starters. Right, Theo?”

No answer.

Lily finally looked at the general location of Theo.

He was gone.

“Theo?” Neville said again.

Lily pushed her head harder against Neville. She couldn’t take it. Neville had been a lucky break. Remus being a werewolf was just that, luck. Any other person, anyone who didn’t have a werewolf in their family already would react like this. She knew this. Yet she had run her mouth anyway.

“He hates me now…” She murmured.

“There’s no way that’s true. This is Theo we are talking about.” Neville’s grip on her tightened.

“...But he left…”

“Nonsense. He’s just shocked. Give him a while to process the information and he will start doting on you starting tomorrow.”

“No, he won’t.” Lily shook her head. She was prepared for this. Why is she acting like a kicked puppy? She should be glad she was only losing one friend instead of two out of this.

She was up and fleeing before Neville could say another word. She couldn’t stop sobbing. She got to her dormitory, any thoughts of rejoining the party downstairs long gone. She didn’t even take off her robes, just shut the curtains and hid under the covers. She cried herself to sleep.

In the morning, she gave a small fight just to get out of bed. She didn’t want to face Theo and she couldn’t shake off the negative thoughts. What if Theo had decided to tell someone overnight? What if the whole school knew now? She had intended to switch over to home-schooling but that didn’t mean she wanted to. She had hoped she would at least manage to finish the year first.

Lily usually waited for Neville and Theo to get down to the common room. She didn’t know if she had a right to do that anymore. Theo probably didn’t want to even look at her. A small part of her screamed that Neville had accepted her. She had no illusions about their relationship though. Neville wouldn’t cast Theo aside just to hang out with her. Anyone with eyes in Gryffindor could see that. Lily had been happy to be a part of the team but deep inside, she knew she was just a third wheel. She would be cast away just to keep the machine running.

Lost in thought, she had plopped down on one of the sofas in the common room and waited. Her eyes stayed at the door to the boys’ dormitory. She couldn’t make up her mind to go to the Great Hall alone.

She noticed Theo and Neville coming first. Her first instinct was to hide but that would just make things worse. The common room was still full of students and they would notice her acting weird if she did.

When Theo’s eyes met hers, she gulped loudly. But Theo didn’t look at her in disgust or fear. He looked at her with the most pained expression Lily had ever seen.

He made a beeline for her.

Lily stood up but otherwise remained in place.

His hands found Lily’s shoulders and before she had time to react, Theo had his head hanging low, practically facing the ground.

“Theo—”

“I’m sorry, Lily. I am really sorry.” He said loudly. “I don’t know what took over me last night. I can’t believe I did something like that…” Tears ran down his face. “Even forcing you to… and then… I am really really sorry. Please believe me.”

Lily couldn’t find words to answer right away. Tears assaulted her too. This was too good to be true. The thought that Theo was lying crossed her mind but she knew him and he sounded as truthful as it got. So she pushed all the ugly thoughts and pulled him close, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Theo’s arms embraced her fully, his head resting on her shoulder.

Lily didn’t have any words to give him and Theo looked just as much at a loss for them. Lily grabbed onto Theo’s robes tightly and he raised one hand to stroke her hair.

They didn’t need words after all.

~~~

Lily’s life changed drastically after that. In the days before and after the full moon, Lily wasn’t brooding and hurting on her own. Neville gave all kinds of pointers on how to make the transformation less exhausting — things he knew from his dad. And Theo had taken it upon himself to force-feed her like the mother hen he was.

Hiding her secret became ten times easier too. Theo and Neville would gladly lie to cover for her and she didn’t have to worry as much about people finding her absences suspicious.

It looked like the rest of the year would go off without a hitch. Lily had really believed that. And truth be told, if it wasn’t for Lucius Malfoy, it would have.

She had given up on going to Hagrid’s that night. She was on her way to get her Potion before going to the Shrieking Shack for her transformation when she saw Sirius storm off looking ready to kill. Maybe it was her werewolf instincts that usually emerged when she was this close to wolfing out, maybe it was just a gut feeling. Either way, she knew this was nothing good. Five minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?

She ran after Sirius and forced him to tell her what was going on, making it a point that Draco was her friend. He eventually agreed to tell her if only to get rid of her so he could be on his way. Not very smart on his part but favourable for Lily.

Lucius Malfoy was there, with Draco. And Theo. That was enough to push Lily over the edge. She knew she had to get her Potion. It was up in her room, waiting for her. She could go get it and then go but it might be too late then. So she stood her ground and followed Sirius to the Whomping Willow.

She had taken her Potion religiously all week. Just one missed dose shouldn’t be that big of a problem, right? That wouldn’t stop her from transforming though. Theo knew but Draco didn’t. He would find out too if she just up and turned in front of him. His life was more important than their friendship though, that was the call she made. She hadn’t expected to lose control and try to hurt her friends like that though.

Thinking back to it now though, she was glad she did.

She remembered how scared she had been later, but then Draco and Hermione were on her, hugging her within an inch of her life. Harry and Ron were much more cool about it, sitting on her sides and taking her hands in theirs. It felt like home. She couldn’t stop the tears from running but she couldn’t shake off the smile that had latched itself to her face. She still felt exhausted after her transformation, but they were all making it better.

Looking at the full moon now, not transformed but human, she couldn’t even explain how at home she felt back then. How at home her friends made her feel. It was right then, at the end of the third year, that they became so glued together that nothing could tear them apart. Not even a literal war managed to do it so Lily was convinced they would be the seven Pleiades — as Riddle decided to call them after they supposedly replaced his Horcruxes — till the end of time.

Sometimes she wondered if her father would be proud of what she did at the end of the war. For being one of the keepers, making sure Riddle doesn’t run rampant. She never told him. She could never tell him. Riddle was a Circus secret with only a few select exceptions.

“You feeling alright?”

The voice broke her out of her trance and she turned to find Theo there, his oversized Muggle pajamas making him look like a little child.

Lily brought her legs closer to her chest, making space for Theo.

Theo accepted the offer and let his head drop on Lily’s knees, his eyes looking up at her. The moonlight made his blond hair look mesmerising. She allowed her fingers to play with its long strands. The day Theo decided to grow his hair out, she had thrown a party. She loved playing with it. It calmed her down.

“I was thinking.” Lily said.

“About?”

“Hogwarts. You. Neville. The Circus. Dad.”

Theo hummed, letting her verbalise her thoughts.

“You guys saved me.” Lily twisted a lock of hair around her finger. “I always blamed Dad for hiding this part of the world from me: the part that would accept me.”

Theo’s fingers drew circles on her naked ankles.

“He was just trying to protect me.” She leaned against the window, letting her face rest against its cool surface. “He always did what he thought was best for me… and I let him die alone in a faraway country.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have been there anyway.”

Theo reached out to take her hand in his. It was comforting. Theo had really come a long way with casual intimacy and even if he insisted it was purely platonic, Lily knew it was a bit more than that. Not romantic or sexual, never that. But it was beyond platonic too.

Sometimes she was amazed at how far they had come.

They had started out trying for normal after all. Just her and Neville, getting married, the thought of children somewhere there on the horizon. It never worked.

Like those first months when they started dating, the hole Theo was normally filling drowned them. It was only when he visited that they really felt complete. So they stopped letting him go. They made him stay over again and again and again. From once a month to once a week to every other day. Theo had joked that he was practically living with them at that point and Neville and Lily had said ‘so just move in ’ at the same time, without any talk beforehand. It was what they had both felt, what they both wanted. They were needy like that, they needed Theo and Theo was all too eager to provide.

At first, he thought he was intruding but as soon as he realised they didn’t just want him there but needed him, he became their buffer. He filled the hole. Neville and Lily couldn’t even understand how they managed to survive without him before.

“Let’s go to bed.” Theo said softly, pulling at her hand gently.

Lily let him drag her along.

Neville was waiting for them, wide awake. As soon as he saw Lily, he smiled and extended a hand to her. Lily took it and settled against him on the bed. Theo laid down on the other side. They didn’t have designed sides on the bed. Whoever felt the need to be comforted took the middle on that specific day but that was pretty much the only rule.

Lily knew she would be sleeping in the middle today. They didn’t need to discuss it. Words were redundant with them, they never mattered much.

It was Neville’s strong arms around her waist and Theo’s leg over her hips that made her at home. She was safe with them. She had found the family she needed even if it wasn’t entirely normal, even if strangers would turn away disgusted with the way the three of them touched at times. She had chosen this. Her father had seen that and accepted, even if he didn't like it much.

‘She was like the sun. She was home.’

That phrase had stuck with her through the years. Father had said it once about her mother. He had been a bit more drunk than usual. He had looked out the window as if expecting to see her there.

Lily knew what he had meant now. Theo and Neville were home. They were her sun and her moon. They were her world. Her place was here.

Dad was home too now. He was with Mum.

So Lily thought hard and deep, hoping her silent words would reach her father, wherever he was now.

'Thank you, Dad. I’m gonna be alright, so you can rest now.'

Chapter Text

Daphne grew up dreaming of princes on white horses and wedding dresses and big ballrooms full of flowers. She remembered pulling little Astoria along as they raided their mother’s wardrobe, putting on her dresses and high heels and dreaming of a perfect groom. Her mother would laugh when she found them. “It’s too early for that, darlings.” She would say and the little girls would giggle in response.

Marrying a pureblood was encouraged but not enforced. Daphne could choose anybody and know her parents would approve sooner or later. But little Daphne cared more about the wedding dress and the flowers than she did the groom’s face.

Pansy came into her life on Daphne’s sixth birthday ball. Little Astoria, barely four then, hand-delivered Pansy to her. She and Pansy grew friends in the span of a night, Astoria following behind them excitedly. Daphne didn’t want to say goodbye at the end of the ball. Hidden away under one of the many tables, Daphne and Astoria sniffled in the dark. Pansy held a hand of each and promised to come again.

She did. She always did.

Daphne’s world consisted only of her little sister and her parents before Pansy. After… well, after she was dragged to all kinds of gatherings. She met Theo barely a year later and the three of them — because Astoria didn’t tag along that day — became thick as thieves. For the next four years, everything was perfect. Daphne had so much fun she could never imagine herself apart from her dear friends. Her dreams of weddings hadn’t stopped but neither Pansy nor Theo seemed much interested in the topic so she didn’t bring it up to them. Astoria, as she got older, became more interested in books and history than marital matters so Daphne kept her dreams to herself.

Sometimes, she thought Theo might be her prince on a white horse. She never said anything to him about it but when she made up images of her wedding in her mind, Theo would take the role of the groom. It didn’t take long for her to realise that the only reason she thought that way was because Theo was the only boy she was friends with. By the time they were off to Hogwarts, Daphne had gotten rid of that notion. Her groom had gone back to looking faceless again.

~~~

The wedding dress had glitter on it. Daphne had insisted on it. The tender sunlight coming inside through the window made it look as if made of snow.

Daphne ran her hands across its silhouette, making sure its hemlines didn’t wrinkle. The neckline stood high against the neck but the short sleeves compensated for the skin the neckline hid.

Pansy had chosen a light blue dress first but Daphne brought literal war on her. Wedding dresses had to be white. Any other colour would be unacceptable. Pansy had chuckled and commented on her childlike obsessions before going back and picking a white dress.

Theo stood to the side, looking slightly uncomfortable standing in the middle of what had to be two dozen wedding dresses but he was there nonetheless. They had grown closer since the war and Daphne couldn’t help but appreciate Theo for being with them at this moment of need.

The wedding dress was perfect.

~~~

Pansy knew she had a fiance for as long as she could remember. So, she didn’t give her wedding much thought at all as a child. She would marry Draco Malfoy and they would have a pureblood child and then Pansy could go on with her life, doing whatever she wanted.

As a child, she wanted many things. One day she dreamt of being a model, the other an actress and the next a fashion reporter. Every day came with a new dream job and Pansy would act it out in the privacy of her room.

She had known Theo since she could remember. She loved going to the Notts. Mrs Nott would tell her stories of faraway countries and Pansy would get the urge to travel the world every time. Theo was a boy and her mum had said boys were stupid but Theo was smart and understanding and definitely not stupid. He was her first friend and Pansy loved him.

Daphne infiltrated her life much later, when she was six and impressionable. Daphne’s long hair had caught her eyes from the moment she entered that ballroom. She hadn’t paid the little girl next to her any attention then. Not until the little girl, just shy of four, grabbed her pink dress with her tiny chubby hands.

“You are very pretty. I wanna show you to my sister.” The little girl had said and Pansy allowed herself to be dragged along, secretly deciding this little girl was worth the world already. Nobody had called her pretty before. She knew she didn’t have a pretty face like her mother. She had her father’s nose and a flat face. But the little girl — Astoria, she learnt later — called her pretty. Little girls didn’t lie, right?

She and Daphne hit it off like old friends, wondering how they hadn’t been introduced as playmates before. Little Astoria trailed after them on tiny chubby feet and Pansy — who didn’t do well with younger children — slowed her steps so Astoria could follow them.

Both girls broke into tears when it was time for Pansy to leave. She couldn’t allow that. She hated seeing Daphne’s beautiful face and Astoria’s chubby one stricken with tears like that. She grabbed their hands tightly and promised to be back.

Some pestering to her father did wonders. Pansy was back to the Greengrass estate in less than a week. Daphne and Astoria cheered when they saw her and Pansy decided she wanted to be their friend. Truth be told, Pansy didn’t have any female friends at that age. Daphne and Astoria were her firsts and she treasured them as one would treasure a wedding ring.

She started dragging Daphne everywhere. Astoria was a bit too young to follow them most of the time but Pansy would always give her a big hug before leaving and she would bring her toys or candies when she visited.

Theo was still her best friend. So, when Daphne and Theo got along, she felt tremendous relief. She could now spend time with both of them. Sometimes Astoria would join them as well. Pansy was happy.

She would still dream of her future; the many jobs she could have. But that was only on days she wasn’t playing with Daphne or Theo or Astoria. When she was with them, the future looked so distant it wasn’t even a speck on the horizon and all she wanted to do was to stay in the present.

~~~

Pansy arranged and rearranged the flowers in the ballroom. The wedding was going to be small at first. Just the parents and a few best friends but, oh look at that, they had a whole ballroom to fill now. Pansy mostly blamed Theo for that.

See, Theo and his stupid Circus can’t be separated for more than a couple minutes without serious after-effects. Sometimes, Pansy wonders how they survived the war. Theo had to come, obviously. But Theo coming meant Longbottom and Moon coming and that meant Black and Potter and Hermione and Weasley. You invited one, you got the whole package. There was no getting around that.

Then Astoria had to call Iris. Being polite, she said Avril could come too. Pansy rolled her eyes at the memory. She was getting all three Potters now. Avril, of course, brought Susan — Sandie Bones, her husband. Pansy would never get over Susan being a man. One way or another, the other couple of the house unity quartet, Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood, ended up invited too. Just when Pansy thought it couldn’t get any worse, Astoria decided the Weasley twins would be a funny addition and Pansy was looking at the invite list growing longer and longer with an incoming headache. In the end, Daphne said “fuck it” and invited all of FES just to get it over with.

Pansy checked the flowers again. They had to be perfect. She couldn’t care about weddings in the least but she just needed the bride to be as happy as she possibly could be. She owed her that much for putting up with her crap for so many years.

She stepped back towards the door and gave the ballroom a final critical look.

It was perfect.

~~~

Draco Malfoy was a story up to the point he became real.

Daphne’s family hadn’t supported the Dark Lord during the war but they were purebloods. They saw Draco Malfoy sceptically. Either way, unlike Theo or Pansy, who had strict orders to make a connection with him, Daphne had received nothing of the sort. She had kept her distance from the boy as long as she could.

Then came that fated Charms lesson. See, she couldn’t just ignore her class partner entirely, could she? She had kept her distance from him until then because she didn’t want Pansy to pull herself away too. Pansy hated Draco like she had a bone to pick with him. She had cast Theo aside like yesterday’s food and Daphne didn’t want to be cast aside.

Daphne couldn’t move their feather though and Draco wouldn’t even look at it. He was much more interested in what the rest of their classmates were doing.

“Hey, Black, care to help?” She said, mildly annoyed.

His entire demeanour changed in a moment and suddenly he was smiling at her with the most charming smile.

“Hm? Oh, sure. What’s troubling you?”

Daphne listened to Draco’s advice and soon their feather left the desk just a tiny bit.

“That’s it. You’re doing great. Keep going.”

Draco’s attention was solely on her and she could feel her cheeks flush just a bit. She didn’t do well with people observing her like that.

His gaze bothered her at first but then she realised Draco wasn’t waiting to judge her. He was there to correct her form if needed and offer verbal and non-verbal support.

A while later, Daphne managed to raise the feather at least three feet above the desk.

Draco clapped excitedly.

Daphne couldn’t quite believe she had done it and turned to Draco, frowning.

“You did this.”

“What?” Draco raised his hands in surrender. “Darling, that’s all you. I didn’t do anything.”

“Speaking of which…” She said after considering him silently for a few moments. “You’ve been giving me pointers this entire time and it’s not like I am not grateful but can you even do this?”

“Hm?” Draco smiled smugly. He swished and flicked his wand gracefully, spoke the incantation and the feather was off the desk immediately.

“Wow…” Daphne inadvertently let out.

“Just a bit of practice, dear. Nothing more.” Draco preened.

And the words of endearment combined with Draco’s smile and easy personality, Daphne could tell her cheeks had gone up in flames. Unable to speak another word, she ran off as soon as class ended.

She ran all the way to an empty corridor and sank to the floor, back against the wall. Draco had this grace on him. He was… dreamy. And, all of a sudden, Daphne’s prince on a white horse had Draco’s face.

She couldn’t tell this to Pansy or Theo though. Not when Draco was probably one of the main reasons they drifted off.

So, she kept quiet but her eyes never stopped tracking Draco’s form when he was in the same room. She kept her distance, however. She hadn’t talked to Draco outside of class before. She didn’t intend to.

Draco had a different opinion.

In her second year, she didn’t return home for Christmas. Astoria had caught a stomach bag and her parents didn’t want her to catch it too. Daphne was having a shitty Christmas. She missed Astoria so so so much. Pansy — upon hearing about it — decided to stay at Hogwarts too if only to alleviate the loneliness Daphne felt.

Sweet Astoria had sent her a book for Christmas and Daphne had made herself comfortable in the Great Hall and read through its pages. It was just the kind of book Daphne liked and she couldn’t appreciate her little sister more for knowing her so well.

Daphne had been pulled in by the book’s plot when she felt someone sitting down next to her. With a glance to the side, she saw Draco sitting there, silently. She forced her heartbeat to stay normal.

“Something I can help you with, Black?” She asked in a flat tone, her eyes still on the book.

“I had a question actually.” Draco smiled.

“Go ahead.”

“What hair products do you use?”

She turned abruptly to look at him, certain she had misheard him but Draco was smiling.

Daphne answered hesitantly and they fell into easy conversation. She had never expected to have such an easy conversation with a boy, certainly not about hair products.

She chatted excitedly, her book safely tucked back in her bag, not forgotten but put aside. Her prince was talking to her.

Daphne was having so much fun so she couldn’t understand why she was getting sleepy. Her eyes were drooping and she fought to hold them open.

“Let me get you to your room.” Draco said gently.

Daphne nodded her assent and leaned against him, listening to his steadily beating heart and thinking how nice it would be to ride a white horse with Draco…

She woke up in her room.

She didn’t remember telling Pansy about her conversation with Draco but somehow Pansy knew. Maybe she had babbled something before falling asleep. She couldn’t remember anything after the Great Hall.

After that day, Pansy probably suspected something, because she didn’t say anything when Daphne greeted Draco in the halls. She felt just one step closer to him now. One step closer to her prince on a white horse. Pansy didn’t seem to mind much anymore. She had settled her eyes on Blaise Zabini for the most part.

When Valentine’s Day rolled around and Lockheart did the whole cupid-poems thing, Daphne thought she would give it a chance.

'With an angelic voice, he hypnotises the world,
with a charming laugh, he lets mischief unfold.
I wish he was mine, for he can dismiss the cold,
our hero, who conquered the Dark Lord.'

Unfortunately, she wasn’t present when the poem was delivered and she didn’t see Draco’s reaction but maybe it was for the better. She didn’t know how she could possibly handle his rejection. She just wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

By the end of the year, Draco was a school hero and so out of Daphne’s league she wanted to cry. Her brain didn’t get the message though and she just kept watching him from the sidelines, admiring the easy way he moved around and charmed everyone.

In third year, Daphne had a new comfort; Astoria. Unlike Daphne, Astoria didn’t much care for her social standing and quickly became friends with none other than Iris Potter, a Gryffindor. What saddened Daphne was that Astoria didn’t really have any other friends except Iris. When in the common room, Astoria gravitated towards her or Pansy. Otherwise, she would take residence in a comfortable armchair and read her books.

Daphne hadn’t managed to get over her infatuation with Draco during the summer. She still followed him around with her eyes. It pleased her that sometimes Draco would talk to her.

Another big change was Hermione Granger. Pansy, who had been attacking Hermione with words as much as she could, stopped entirely. It started slow. Pansy would just ignore Hermione, then she would greet her with a dry ‘hi’ and soon, Hermione became a member of their girls' group as well. Daphne and Millicent had no qualms about it. If Pansy was suddenly okay with being friends with a Muggleborn, then so would they.

Sometimes, Daphne found herself a bit more brazen than was strictly allowed. She would ask Hermione about Draco, about what he liked, what he was like behind closed doors, the whole set. Hermione would indulge her for the most part.

“You like him.” Hermione said one day.

It had been just the two of them but Daphne’s eyes still moved around the room like she had been caught.

“It’s okay.” Hermione smiled wryly. “I won’t say a word. Pansy and Milli know though. It’s a bit obvious.”

“Pansy knows?” Somehow, that threw Daphne off the most even if she had suspected it. And it didn’t make sense why it bothered her so much. Pansy liked Blaise now. They were… dating, or something. And yet, Pansy wasn’t supposed to know.

“I don’t think she minds.” Hermione said, frowning.

“Yeah.” Daphne nodded absentmindedly. “I know.”

She kept mulling over it, getting mixed glances from Pansy and Hermione both. It all came to a head at the start of their fourth year when Pansy sat her down and made her understand Draco would never look at her that way. It was like she pulled a muscle, speaking of Draco’s sexuality.

Daphne cried a bit, then Draco stopped starring in her wedding dreams. Her attention returned to other details. The wedding dress. The flowers. The wedding rings. She frowned at the thought of having gold rings. Silver would do better. So much better.

~~~

“Do you have them?” Daphne asked as soon as Theo arrived. The wedding was still half a day away but Theo had the big honour of being the ring bearer, so he arrived early.

Theo smiled and pulled out a tiny dark green box.

“You sure you don’t want it to be a surprise?” Theo grinned down at her.

Daphne rolled her eyes and grabbed the box. She opened the lid and peered inside for the rings. Not gold, but silver. The whole wedding was Slytherin themed after all.

“They are beautiful.” Daphne whispered.

“Of course, they are.” Theo huffed. “Draco and Hermione worked on those like crazy. They managed to cram all kinds of protective charms in them too.”

“Really, you and your circus…” Daphne rolled her eyes.

“Oh, and Nev poured some kind of potion on them. They are supposed to glow in the dark, or something.”

“How’s it going with those two partners of yours anyway?” She closed the lid and petted the soft veloute of the case before handing it back to Theo.

“Good?”

Daphne looked at him suggestively.

“It still feels surreal.” Theo looked out the window, smiling. “That they allowed me in their home. Like… like, I belong there.”

“You do.” Daphne smiled.

“I still feel like I’m intruding sometimes.” Theo admitted.

“It amazes me actually.” Daphne looked out the window in wonder. “How the three of you can love each other so deeply without getting jealous of one another. Though, I admit, I should have guessed it would end up like this.”

“Huh?”

“Oh please.” She looked back at him. “It was so obvious. The three of you were inseparable. To the point of obsession, really.”

Theo didn’t answer. He only smiled down at the ring box he now held. His eyes glinted and Daphne could see the happiness those eyes held.

“No need to feel bad about it. Everyone has their own kind of happiness.”

Theo raised his face and smiled.

~~~

Much like Theo, Pansy went to Hogwarts full set on making connections with Draco Malfoy. Her parents hadn’t stopped talking about how he and Pansy were engaged. It felt surreal sometimes but Pansy had gotten used to it. She just needed a face to place on her groom so her eyes soured the group of first years to find him.

When she spotted him, he looked like a little angel. Pale skin, light blond hair and grey-blue eyes. She shifted her legs. She would have preferred it if he was a bit more ugly. Well, not ugly per se, just a bit more average-looking. He looked prettier than her and she couldn’t help but think how bad that would look in a couple.

Her next thoughts consisted of ways to approach him. She dreaded rejection now. Pansy was self-aware, after all. She knew she wasn’t pretty, heck, she was ugly. Makeup could help a bit but she was a bit too young to start putting makeup on every day.

Theo’s sorting into Gryffindor threw her off so much that she almost forgot to be self-deprecating. She stared at the Gryffindor table more than she ever expected to. Even as she stepped up for her own sorting, her eyes never left Theo, hunched low at the Gryffindor table. This must be a nightmare.

She released a sigh of relief when the hat put her in Slytherin and she made her way to the Slytherin table, still dazed. She didn’t feel like trying to charm Draco now, so she gave him a look as she sat down next to the girl — Granger? — next to him. Her eyes found Theo again and her mind wouldn’t slow down.

It felt like betrayal. Theo going anywhere but Slytherin. Pansy hated it. She took some comfort from Daphne sitting opposite her and staring at the Gryffindor table as well. At least Pansy wasn’t alone in her morose thoughts. She glanced at Draco and decided to give it a chance later. Somehow, Draco rejecting her didn’t matter as much anymore. Not when it hurt so much that her best friend betrayed her.

A part of her reasoned that Theo didn’t choose this. But she hated him for it nonetheless.

She stuck close to Daphne when they made their way to the Slytherin dormitory, following after the prefect.

“Are you alright?” Daphne whispered.

Pansy shook her head. She didn’t think she would be alright anytime soon.

The next day at breakfast, unsettled by the howler Theo got, Pansy desperately tried to distract her mind from anything having to do with Theo.

“We need to talk.” She told Draco slowly and walked off.

Draco followed her.

She stopped just outside the Great Hall and leaned against the wall. She looked Draco up and down again, noting with displeasure how beautiful he looked.

“So, I heard you’ve been raised by a muggleborn and a blood traitor.” She kept her voice as bland as possible. “But at least, you got in Slytherin nonetheless. That is good.” It was a bit unfair, considering Theo didn’t make it.

“What do you want from me?” Draco said.

“I guess it is only normal that you don’t know so I will tell you instead.” She forced a smirk. “We are betrothed.”

Draco stilled, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out.

“That’s a funny expression.” Pansy restrained her need to laugh at his face and extended a hand. “Anyways, just making sure you are aware of the fact. Hope we get along, Draco. Mrs Malfoy has such a nice ring to it, after all. I wouldn’t want to let that one go.”

The dumb expression left his face at that. Instead, he fixed Pansy with a challenging glare, his hands unmoving on his sides.

“A shame, Parkinson. You’ve just gotten on my bad side.”

“Huh?”

“I hate that name. Not to mention, you aren’t even my type.” He shrugged.

“Your type?” Pansy blundered because it didn’t matter who you married, right? She hadn’t expected such an outright rejection either. He could have been more tactful about it. “So what’s your type exactly, bushy-haired mudbloods?” She huffed, letting the slur rest in the air and crossed her hands over her chest.

Draco’s hand twitched.

“Oh, she is certainly more charming than you will ever be.” Draco said, making her want to punch him just a bit. “But unfortunately, I am not really interested in girls.”

The words didn’t sink in at once. She blinked slowly as they did, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“Speechless, Parkinson?” He grinned.

“You are gay?” Pansy didn’t even know how she felt about that. It certainly messed things up.

“Oh, do I not come off as one?”

And now that Pansy was looking for it, he did. It was so obvious, really. Of course, he was gay. No straight boy had any business looking that pretty.

Draco smiled and walked away.

Pansy stayed there, staring at the corridor wall with her mind whirling. She had to find a new groom now. She had to go out of her way to find a stupid boyfriend and do the whole stupid courting. And for what? Just for a ring around her finger and stupid little children running around the house and calling her mum, taking up all her time.

She kicked at the wall. The kick strong enough that it had her clutching her foot from the blinding pain later. She forced deep breaths into her lungs and bolted. She didn’t want to see Drac— Malfoy’s stupid ever again. She hated him. She hated him for making her search for a prospective groom now. And she hated Theo for deserting her.

Hogwarts had barely started and Pansy already hated it all.

She hated Malfoy and now she hated Longbottom too. Longbottom had stuck himself to Theo and wouldn’t leave his side. It infuriated Pansy how easily Theo replaced her. And it was all Longbottom’s fault. So, Pansy resorted to bullying.

She always gave Theo a way out. If he would just join in on the bullying, she fully intended to forgive him for his betrayal. But Theo never did such a thing. If anything, he got all defensive over stupid Longbottom and Pansy hated it because Theo was her best friend.

It really didn’t help Longbottom’s case that he was Malfoy’s boyfriend. Did they really have to be so obvious about it? All in all, all her problems tied together by one person: Neville Longbottom. Malfoy was hateful too but Longbottom infuriated her more. She might not be as pretty as Malfoy or Theo but she had Longbottom beat in that area and it was so unfair.

She mostly proposed the duel as a joke. She knew Theo wouldn’t accept. Of course, Malfoy had to interfere.

Feeling only slightly guilty, she holed up in her dormitory after informing Filch she had seen Draco ‘Black’ sneaking out at night. She felt awful as soon as she had done it. She didn’t catch any sleep that night until Granger came back to the dormitory. She had seen her sneak out after Malfoy and if she came back, then maybe Malfoy came back too. Merlin, she hoped Theo was safe…

What came out of that fiasco had been a newfound friendship between Theo and Granger. She wanted to blame Granger for it but she knew she had done this herself. She messed up. Big time.

Pansy held on to that guilt all the way to Christmas. She had to apologise. She knew she had to. She almost got Theo expelled.

“She tried to get me expelled!” When Theo said it accusingly like that, Pansy wanted to slap herself. She had messed this up so much.

She had to apologise, she knew that. Yet the words escaping her mouth held no apology in them.

“Well, I wouldn’t have.” She said. “It’s your fault for ditching me.”

“Ditching you? You stopped talking to me!”

“You got into Gryffindor!”

“I didn’t choose that!”

If not for Daphne’s intervention then, Pansy would have started crying.

“So.” Daphne said after she had forced them to sit calmly back in their seats with a cup of tea each. “How about we start at the beginning?”

“Sure.” Pansy spat and faced Theo. “Why did you get into Gryffindor? Ravenclaw, I would understand, but Gryffindor?”

“I didn’t ask for this. The hat chooses.”

“Maybe you secretly wanted to get away from us.” Pansy felt her voice crack at the end.

“What?” Theo gaped. “Whyever would I want that? You two are my best friends.”

“Oh.” Pansy said stupidly, her cheeks flushing. Best friends. The words made Pansy warm up inside. And a moment later, ‘are’, present tense. Maybe Pansy hadn’t messed up too badly yet.

Daphne let out a grave sigh.

“So, wait.” Theo spoke. “You started harassing Neville because you thought I didn’t want to be friends with you anymore? That I preferred him?”

“Well, you do, don’t you?” She said grudgingly, looking anywhere but Theo.

“Maybe because he’s actually talking to me?” Theo said, exasperated. “Pansy, you have to understand that I didn’t choose to be a Gryffindor and I had no allies there. I suck at making friends. You know that. And unlike the rest of the Gryffindors, Neville didn’t hate me. You weren’t talking to me. What was I supposed to do? Brood in silence?”

“Of course not. I just—”

“Oh, let me guess. This is about Draco.” Theo glared.

Pansy shifted in her seat. Of course this was Malfoy’s fault. Everything this year was Malfoy’s fault. Theo getting into Gryffindor was Malfoy’s fault.

“Alright, that’s a bit of a low blow.” Daphne cut in. “They were engaged, you know.”

“When they were babies! You don’t even like him.” Theo said. “And maybe if you had just gotten off your high horse, Draco would actually like you.”

“Oh, believe me.” Parkinson huffed. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Theo frowned.

Pansy considered just spitting it out. She hated Malfoy anyway. What harm would it do if she outed him? He didn’t exactly fight to hide it anyway. Maybe everyone already knows. She could just say it. She let out a loud sigh and shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She didn’t know why she refused to. It made no sense. She felt bad for him, however. Unable to love who you are supposed to. It must make life a hundred times harder.

“You know…” Daphne’s words brought her back to the present. “I think this is just about us having a hard time adjusting in school. It’s a new environment. Nothing like our three-people adventures. We are so concentrated on finding our place there that we are not thinking straight.”

“You are talking like a grown-up.” Pansy said.

“That must be because, I, unlike you two, talked to my parents about this.” Daphne huffed.

“Glad your parents are ask-able then.” Theo said. “My father would rather roll down in the dirt than talk about feelings.”

“My mother was far more interested in the gossip than how I was feeling.” Pansy said.

“Your families are so emotionally constipated, I pity you.” Daphne sighed again.

“Big word.”

And like that, they were back to being just the three of them against the world. Maybe she could still have this. Maybe she hadn’t overstepped too much.

She went back to ignoring Theo at school. She had to keep up appearances but she secretly wished that he knew her well enough to know she still had his back. She was still his friend, just, behind closed doors.

She kept her distance. It was a slip of her wand when she cursed Longbottom with the Leg-Locking curse. He just looked so… useless, weak and cowardly. She had been watching him getting along with Theo and it messed her up more than she wanted to admit. She felt bad as soon as she did it. She bolted from the ‘crime scene’ knowing full well that if Theo somehow learnt of this, their relationship would be done for. Damn her lousy impulse control.

Pansy kept a low profile after that. She expected Theo to react in some way but he never did. Maybe Longbottom didn’t tell him.

It was when Theo got involved in something dangerous because of Longbottom and Malfoy that she felt the need to step in again. A dragon of all things.

Theo sought her out first, inquiring about what she knew about what Hagrid had cooking in his hut. She didn’t give him a clear answer. She was trying to find a good way to dissuade him from doing something stupid.

“Maybe pick a side already?” She huffed when Theo wouldn’t leave her alone. “You are a Gryffindor. You chose them. You can’t come back to me like we are still friends. At least, not at school.”

“I don’t want to pick a side.”

“Let me set this straight for you, Theo.” She let out a sigh. “Even if you were a Slytherin, you would still have to pick a side. It’s me or Malfoy.” The words pained her and she wanted her mouth burnt off already. “And you’ve made your choice painfully clear.”

She took tentative steps away from Theo until she was out of his sight, and then she stormed off. Ladies didn’t run but she needed it. The energy raging inside her body would choke her if she let it be.

Theo actively ignored her after that. She couldn’t help but agree with him. She deserved that.

She managed to get Malfoy and Longbottom in trouble but not without getting herself in trouble as well. Maybe she deserved the detention after all. She managed to push away her best friend just like that.

Unlike Longbottom or Malfoy, Pansy held no hatred for Potter. She had partnered with him enough times to know what kind of person he was. It crossed her mind that they could have gotten along if not for Malfoy getting in the way again. Everything just came back to Malfoy like a boomerang, huh. She felt no qualms leaving Malfoy in the forest alone.

By the end of the year, however, whatever anger she held for him had dissipated. It left her in within the span of a day, like it had never been there. She couldn’t be sure what caused it, just that it was a relief.

Pansy spent her summer trying to get back in Theo’s good graces. She counted it a win when he agreed to go shopping in Diagon Alley with her.

She hadn’t counted on meeting Malfoy there but strangely, the anger had gone. She still teased him, mostly out of habit. It certainly didn’t bother her. The way he talked and joked and contradicted her. She had made up her mind to find a new boyfriend this year. Malfoy didn’t concern her much anymore.

She set her eyes on Blaise Zabini and decided to make him her new project. He would make a fine groom, handsome as he was. Yes, she nodded in satisfaction. He would fill the role nicely.

~~~

“I swear, Draco, if that stupid Muggle thing doesn’t work—”

“It’s a video camera.” Draco said, unimpressed. “You will thank me for it. Trust me.”

“Trusting you is like trusting a roulette.” Pansy huffed.

“Why are you worrying so much anyway?” Draco rolled his eyes. “Blaise will take Magical photographs for you.”

“Because I don’t trust either of you!”

“Wow, rude.”

“Excuse me, who smuggled a dragon out of Hogwarts?”

“That was ages ago, Pansy. Cut me some slack.”

“Merlin only knows what prank you have prepared…” She said with a sigh.

“You love my pranks.” Draco said with confidence. “Even back when you hated me, you still liked them.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Black.”

“Oh please, you love me.” He pushed his hair behind his shoulder with a smooth flap of his hand.

“Dramatic much?” She joked.

“Just aiming to defuse some tension.” He shrugged. “Calm down, darling. Everything will be fine. You and Daphne have done a fantastic job organising everything.”

She let out a sigh. Sometimes, she wished she could still hate him for messing up her life plan. Other times, like today, she adored each and every of his mannerisms.

Pansy took a deep breath and moved over to survey the buffet.

~~~

Viktor Krum appeared out of nowhere and made her heart flutter in ways she didn’t even know possible.

He was handsome, sure, but Daphne wouldn’t have paid him any further attention if she hadn’t found him wandering alone in the dungeons looking lost. He had the face of a lost puppy and he almost broke into tears when he finally spotted her there.

Daphne put on a polite smile and fought not to laugh when the great Viktor Krum tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground with a loud thud. She couldn’t help but find it mildly adorable.

“Are you lost?” She extended a hand to help him up.

His eyes found hers, then his face flushed.

“Where are you trying to go? I will show you the way. ”

Krum clutched her hand awfully gently and stood up without resting any of his weight on Daphne.

“I vas trying to get to the Great Hall. I don’t know vhere I am.”

“Hogwarts feels like a maze at first, doesn’t it?” She smiled.

He nodded solemnly.

They led an easy conversation to the Great Hall. Daphne, not impartial to the joy called Quidditch, edged him on to talk about it. His gruff voice gave the impression he was much older than he looked but his mannerisms were ungraceful, crude even. Maybe he had a recent growth spurt and still hadn’t reacquainted himself with his limbs or maybe that was just part of his character.

Falling for Viktor came like a broom crash. It broke her and put her back together. It overflowed. To the point, Daphne forgot about putting Viktor’s face on her wedding daydreams. The wedding dress didn’t matter anymore, neither did her hair on the day. All that mattered was Viktor next to her, his eyes lighting up as he gushed on and on about Quidditch, his voice a welcome baritone to her ears.

She had expected him to brag, to preen under the attention all the girls — and some boys — gave him. Instead, he hunched over, keeping close to her and lowering his voice. It took Daphne a few weeks to realise the reason; Viktor was shy.

She broke into laughter when it finally came to her. It made no sense at all. Handsome, skillful and famous Viktor Krum: shy ! She loved teasing him about it. Viktor would grumble and grunt but never told her to stop.

“Vill you come to the dance vith me?”

Daphne stilled at the words. She looked at Viktor with comically wide eyes.

“It’s okay if you don’t vant to…” He hastily added but his eyes never left hers.

“I do.” She gasped. “Of course, I do but… you could ask anyone.”

“I vant you.”

It was cliche and simple and it made her heart jump out of her chest. Tears escaped her eyes and he wiped them away, worry evident in his face.

“I would love to.” She said in between sobs.

She ran the thought over and over in her mind many times until the Yule ball. She couldn’t believe she was going with Viktor.

Needless to say, everyone learnt about it in the span of two days and suddenly she was the butt of every girl’s joke. Rumours about her slipping Viktor a love potion circled around to no end. And she was sensitive to rumours, yet this time, just this time, the prospect of spending more time with Viktor overshadowed anything else.

Daphne still held on to the white lie of strictly ‘friendship’, however. At least, until Viktor pulled her aside after a very sweat-inducing dance and fell to his knees in front of her sitting form.

“Thank you for coming.” The dancing had caused his cheeks to redden and out here in the cold, the colour wasn’t easing at all. “You are very beautiful today.”

“Oh? So, I’m ugly the rest of the year?” She joked, still trying to catch her breath.

“No!” His fingers tightened around her hand, which he hadn’t let go of since before the dance. “You are the most beautiful person— the most kind soul I’ve ever met and — and some days I just vant to hold you close and never let you. I vant to hide you away, keep you by my side all day, every day. A day vithout hearing your voice feels like years and I — I vant… Today… I really… I am really happy right now.”

So many words. Jumbled and hushed and nervous and on the edge.

Daphne crouched down and put her hands on the back of Viktor’s neck. She rested her forehead against his.

“I feel alive whenever I am with you.”

Short, simple and the most honest Daphne had been in years.

For a short moment, Viktor looked at her with want and she parted her lips slightly, ready to catch his in hers. He, however, was a gentleman through and through. He pulled back ever slightly and planted a kiss on her forehead instead. Tender and soft. It messed up her senses. She pulled him down into a tender embrace and felt his strong arms engulf her with reverence, like she was an object of value, worthy of protection and devotion.

Bloody hell. She was in love.

If Draco was a crush, Viktor was a hurricane.

She didn’t mind any when she was used in the second trial. Viktor’s strong arms never left her body for hours after he had pulled her out of the lake. Even when he let her go that night, he looked at her like a hawk as she drew away.

Daphne stopped in her tracks, sighed and turned around. She ran more than walked back to Viktor and before he had time to react pulled his head down and kissed him.

It burnt.

After the initial shock, Viktor’s arms found their way around her waist and he half lifted her in the air.

Daphne wished the kiss would never end.

She was living the dream. Viktor started on some manner of sophisticated pureblood courting after that and she couldn’t help but enjoy how awkward he looked doing it. She didn’t care if he did it right or wrong, she just loved watching him, feeling him. Some days, she felt his breath could even raise her from the dead.

Her breath didn’t hold that kind of strength, however.

She was sure that Viktor was building up to properly asking her out. He had stepped up his game the few days before the final trial. He even said he had something to ask her after the trial. Daphne couldn’t wait.

She would never know now.

What came out of that last trial wasn’t a proposal or anything as happy.

It was Viktor’s dead body.

~~~

“He would have loved to be here.” Pansy said softly, hugging Daphne from behind. “And the wedding would make the papers if Viktor Krum was in attendance.”

Time had healed Daphne a bit. She could hear his name without breaking down now. His image, his voice, was still so alive in her head. Sometimes, she thought she would meet him if she just visited Durmstrang.

Pansy had helped her through it. The pain, the need to connect with him, the need to avenge something. She had been there. She never left, no matter how much Daphne hated her for it at the time.

Everyone wanted her to move on, to accept, to forget. Daphne never could. Not when Viktor’s voice still blessed her dreams. The thought of his strong arms and his clumsy movements brought warmth to her even now.

Her parents insisted she had to find someone else eventually.

Pansy never pushed. It was like she understood exactly how Daphne felt.

She never thought about weddings again after that day. Viktor had been her one true love and she didn’t want to imagine any kind of wedding that he wouldn’t attend.

A nice gentleman might chat her up at the bar and Daphne might humour him but it never went beyond that. Not when each and every pair of arms paled in comparison to Viktor’s. Not when each and every voice was just wrong.

Astoria, her darling sweet little sister, had told her that swans mate for life. She said Daphne was like a swan and that wasn’t a bad thing.

So, Daphne wouldn’t fall in love again and she wouldn’t dream of weddings. Not because she couldn’t, but because she didn’t want to. Maybe she didn’t need it anyway. The memories of Viktor were enough love for her whole life.

So, she grinned up at Pansy.

“You would have loved the attention, wouldn’t you?”

“Hey, I’m being forced into a too tight wedding dress and my stomach is feeling very rebellious from the nerves. I might as well leave the event in history.” Pansy winked.

Daphne rolled her eyes.

“On another note, have you seen my heels?” Pansy asked, suddenly in panic. “I don’t remember where I put them.”

“You have at least two dozen pairs of heels, Pans.” Daphne chuckled.

Pansy’s hair was still in disarray and she had done up only half of her makeup.

“I have to look tall tonight, Daphne!” Pansy whined. “There’s obviously only one pair that would do.”

Daphne chuckled again and pulled her to sit in front of her toilette mirror.

“I think fixing your face comes first.”

Pansy blushed and turned to glare at her friend.

“How are you already ready, anyway?” She huffed, annoyed.

“I just like to prepare in advance.” Daphne said calmly. “But there’s still over five hours until the wedding, Pansy. There’s no need to—”

“Exactly! Just five hours! However am I going to make it in time?” Pansy shrieked.

“I’ve seen you get ready in less than ten minutes.”

“That’s different!”

Daphne shook her head fondly. Sometimes, she thought of what could have been. Others, she was content in the present. Today, she just wanted to see her best friend happily married off.

“Let me help.”

~~~

Pansy put an end to her relationship with Blaise with a loud slap. It never worked out the way she imagined. Blaise wanted more than she was willing to give him.

Halfway through third year, he got handsy. The demand for kisses grew and his hands made grabs for body parts Pansy didn’t want touched. Pansy also got an eyeful of his body parts that she never wanted.

Pansy had gotten fed up with him for a million reasons during the one-and-a-half year they were dating. And the way he still went on and on about having that Hippogriff executed… Sure, Pansy had no love for Hagrid or his weird creatures but Theo had connected with that specific creature and Theo was still her best friend in a way. One day, it all came to a head.

She told him to drop the charges. Blaise obstinately refused. The tone of their conversation got more and more aggressive and then Blaise said something he shouldn’t have ever said.

“You are just an ugly bitch! You should be grateful I am even—”

Pansy slapped him. Strongly.

“Get lost, Blaise!” She yelled at him and he left the class more or less with his tail between his legs.

Pansy had had it with him anyway. She couldn’t care less.

She was ugly, sure. Then she didn’t need a freaking boyfriend or a freaking husband. She didn’t need anyone.

As soon as she made that decision, it all got easier. Whatever anger she held for Black and Longbottom slowly faded. She made up with Theo over the summer. She became friends with Granger and even helped Black with the first task. Not to mention, attended the Yule Ball with him too. She even gave some romantic advice to Potter.

See, she could do it if she tried.

Soon, she would have her original friends back too. She might have gotten into a fight with Daphne and Millicent but surely they would get past that. Just like she made up with Theo.

If there was one thing that threw her off during the whole Yule Ball fiasco, it was Astoria dancing with Potter. That was also the reason she asked Potter to dance, taking him away from Astoria. She hadn’t thought herself possessive before but Astoria was like a little sister to her. If Potter was playing with her feelings, she would have his head.

Let alone playing with her though, Potter was madly in love with Black and he had made it clear to Astoria she didn’t see her that way. It was an arrangement so Astoria could join the ball.

It was what Astoria said at the end of the night that really threw Pansy for a loop though.

“You are so beautiful today.”

Pansy’s cheeks flushed and she averted her eyes. Astoria was just being polite.

“I mean it.” Astoria insisted, clutching Pansy’s hands tightly. “To me, you are the most beautiful person in this ballroom.”

And it made Pansy’s heart move in all the wrong ways.

Astoria was like a little sister, she repeated like a mantra.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But then Astoria grew up into her paws. Her lithe body had gotten its curves and the baby fat had vacated her face at the tender age of thirteen. Pansy almost lost her footing when she had a flash of Astoria’s thin lips kissing hers.

She shook the thought away as soon as it came.

Astoria was her sister.

Sister or not, Pansy’s eyes lingered on hers after that night, in the hallways, in the Great Hall, in the common room. She was assaulted by the urge to spend more time with her and she fought to stop herself every time. Astoria had her own friends and certainly wouldn’t want Pansy interrupting that.

At least, that was what Pansy believed until they both became part of the Slytherin Quidditch team and then entered the Frog Extermination Squad. Suddenly, Pansy could spend time with Astoria without raising any suspicion.

The little girl had given way to the strong lady and Pansy was proud of her.

Pansy didn’t look at any other boy in the years to come. Part of it was due to the war. Other things to deal with than school time romance. Her eyes never stopped lingering on Astoria though and she convinced herself into believing it was purely sisterly affection.

FES during their seventh year was no after-school activity. It was a right rebel army. Pansy felt the urge to protect bleed her out some days. She didn’t care. She had to hang on.

With Draco gone, she found herself leading the Slytherins just as she had done with the Slytherin Quidditch team when their captain was up to no good. The stakes were higher now but Pansy wouldn’t bend. She could take it.

Despite the dire situation, though, Astoria clung to Pansy more than ever. At first, Pansy thought she was afraid but then she saw her directly go against the Carrows and there was no fear in her eyes, just determination.

She still clung to Pansy.

And then —

“We won, Pansy.” Astoria shrieked in the ruins of the school grounds and pretty much jumped on Pansy. “We did it. We survived.”

Pansy caught her in a tight embrace, laughing. They did. They made it.

“Hey, Pansy.” Astoria pulled back just a tiny bit to look Pansy in the eyes. “I love you.”

Pansy hadn’t blanched when those thin lips touched hers. She had dreamed of this for years but no dream could have prepared her for the real thing. She let herself be pulled into the kiss, all denial gone out the window now that Astoria was kissing her.

Later, when the adrenaline ran out, Pansy would panic about loving a girl. She would panic as she understood no boy would ever do it for her.

Maybe she wasn’t so different from Draco after all.

~~~

“Ready to go marry your wife, Pansy?” Daphne said, leaning against the wall.

Pansy had put on the wedding dress, which Daphne had filled with flowers. Her hair was tied back neatly and her makeup was in place. She didn’t feel ready though.

“It will be alright.” Daphne said softly and took Pansy’s hands in hers. “I know you will make her happy and I sure as hell know she makes you happy.”

“It’s not… it’s not natural.” Pansy bit her lip. She was okay with other people being gay, but she still couldn’t make peace with herself.

“Your parents will come around, dear.” Daphne pulled her into a loose hug, making sure she didn’t mess up the dressing. “And if they don’t? Well, screw them. You have me.”

“You have us.”

Pansy and Daphne turned to find Theo and Draco standing there. Theo donned a nice muggle suit and Draco a pair of female green robes.

Pansy found herself smiling.

Her nerves followed her to the aisle, where Theo walked her to. When she saw Astoria standing there though? In all her godly glory? Everything jumped out the window.

Maybe weddings were worth something after all.

As long as you found the right constellation to attach yourself to anyway.

Chapter Text

Andromeda didn’t want to be a mother. She didn’t think herself qualified for it, actually. She was a mess. One moment she would laugh and the other yell in anger. Ted knew all that when he married her.

“If you are a mess, then let me put some order in your life.”

Nobody — apart from her equally ‘a mess’ sisters — had loved her enough to say that before. Not her parents and not her Slytherin friends. Andromeda would destroy the world if anyone threatened her sisters. She would destroy—

“Then, let’s work on precaution, not revenge.”

He didn’t understand her, not like Bella or Cissy did, but he saw her. All her ugly parts, all her madness and all her anger. He didn’t understand nor did he act like he did. He was just… there. Seeing it, and accepting it. No wonder, Andromeda fell in love.

Ted’s easy personality, kind disposition and never-ending patience had her stomach tingling in excitement. Being with him stopped being a want by the time Hogwarts was over, it had become a need. A need so deep that Andromeda had half a mind to lock him up in the basement and keep him to herself forever. She might have actually done that if she didn’t know her parents would kill him on sight if she did.

She couldn’t choose between her family and Ted. Even if her family was darkness, and Ted was light, she couldn’t choose. So her body chose for her.

The morning sickness started first. She tried to convince herself it was mere sickness but the symptoms didn’t pass and she had a discrete little bump attached to her lower belly now. Maybe she should have listened to Ted and used that Muggle protection thing. Whatever, it was done now. She had no choice anymore. Her parents would kill her when they found out and she wasn’t giving up this baby.

She said her goodbyes without clueing her family in. She crammed all her things in her work bag — she had been helping out in Flourish and Blotts since she finished school — and left that morning as if she was just going to work, not leaving her childhood home forever at the tender age of twenty.

She named the girl Nymphadora because she was a gift. She understood that now, being away from her family for the biggest part of her pregnancy. She stayed with Ted and his parents at first but soon, they had a small wedding and moved in together to a nice cottage.

Nymphadora gave her a big scare when she decided she didn’t like her brown hair. Andromeda found her with red hair in the morning and she let out a scream of terror. One look at Ted and they were in St Mungos immediately.

“She’s a metamorphmagus. It’s a rare trait but entirely healthy.” The healer had said.

Andromeda still bought all the books in metamorphmaguses she could find and read them though. From a shock of terror, it turned into a funny family thing. Nymphadora loved changing forms and Ted loved humouring her.

Terror still lived inside her though. Not of Nymphadora’s special ability but of herself. She had grown up in a — for lack of a better word — toxic household. She had been raised with discipline, tough love and a million ‘musts’. She was afraid to talk to Nymphadora sometimes, afraid she would imprint in her daughter what her parents imprinted in her.

Ted helped her once again. He told her to be herself, just let those motherly instincts kick in.

Andromeda never stopped being afraid but she was determined to try now. If she went out of line, Ted would be there to stop her.

She was happy. For the first time in her life, since she was six and innocent, she was truly and irrationally happy.

Only at night, she missed her sisters. They hadn’t tried to make contact with her. But the Wizarding World was a mess at the moment. Maybe when things calmed down, maybe then, her sisters would reach out. At least, Andromeda prayed they did.

She missed them so much. Her strong and stubborn elder sister — whom Andromeda still held hero-worship for — and her adorable little sister — whom Andromeda vowed to protect with her life when she was born. She never told Ted how much she missed them but it seemed like Ted knew anyway. He always gave her that look…

~~~

She cursed herself for never acting on her feelings a few years later. Dora was eight and couldn’t sit still for a moment. Andromeda saw the last of her little sister then in the newspaper: a dead body and an orphaned baby.

First, she went through denial. For a week, she waited for the newspaper to point out their mistake. Instead, she got another shock. Bella was there, holding a prisoner number. She had been sentenced to Azkaban.

Andromeda had been so glad Dora was at Muggle school when it happened. She couldn’t control herself. She yelled and screamed and threw things and put things on fire and she didn’t care if the whole world broke down. It certainly felt like her world had broken down.

This can’t be happening. It was her fault. She left them. She left them to fend for themselves and this is what happened.

She didn’t care anymore. She left her house in a hurry and as soon as she was out of the wards, she apparated to her childhood home. She hadn’t expected to be able to get in but it looked like her parents hadn’t put on wards against her. She didn’t know how to feel about that and she didn’t really care at the moment.

Her mother sat in the reception room, dressed in black and knitting what looked to be a blanket. Her eyes betrayed her crying even as she looked up to stare at Andromeda in stunned silence.

“Andromeda…” Her mother whispered, eyes glazed. “Is this a dream…?”

“How dare you let this happen?” Andromeda screamed, tears finally rolling down her cheeks. “How could you let Bella end up in prison? How could you let Cissy die?”

Mother stayed silent even as tears ran down her eyes.

“You are their mother! You are supposed to protect them.”

“I’m sorry.” Mother let her head fall in her hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I failed you. I failed all three of you.”

And Andromeda should have stayed angry at her but she couldn’t. She hadn’t seen Mother break down like this before and the urge to comfort her took root in her inadvertently.

She sat down on the sofa next to her and pulled her in a hug. Mother hid her face against her shoulder and cried. Andromeda could only hold on to her at a loss. Mother, always strong and heartless, reduced to this. What had happened to her family after she had gone —? Was this all her fault? Did she do this by leaving them?

“Where’s Father?” Andromeda asked when her mother’s sobs quieted.

“In the Ministry. He’s trying to get Bellatrix out.” Mother shook her head. “Bellatrix is gone. She’s confessed to her crimes. And if she gets out… if she gets out, she will destroy the world.”

“Mother!” Andromeda hissed. “You can’t say that. She’s your daughter.”

“Yes, and that’s why this is my fault.” Mother sobbed. “I’ve lost you because I couldn’t see what was in front of me. I lost Bellatrix because I didn’t stop her. This time I saw what was happening but I didn’t stop it. And I lost Narcissa because I wasn’t there. I was never there for her. I thought she didn’t need it but maybe if I had been there for her more, she would have reached out to me.”

“Mother…”

“Bellatrix let the Dark Lord kill Narcissa.”

Andromeda’s breath hitched. No way. No way that happened. Bella treasured Cissy as much — if not more — as Andromeda did. There was no way—

“Bellatrix is gone, and Narcissa is gone and you…” Mother finally raised her eyes to look at her but it was like she wasn’t really seeing her. “You are here to haunt me, aren’t you? For chasing you away, for letting things get to this.”

“Haunt…? Mother, what are you…?”

“I thought I was safe from the madness.” Mother shook her head. “I just married into the family but maybe, I will become just like Bellatrix one day. Lost to the world, lost to herself. Case in point, here I am, seeing a ghost of my estranged daughter who isn’t even dead. Honestly, I thought it would be Narcissa.”

Andromeda swallowed her tears. She couldn’t tell her the truth now. It had struck her as strange how easily Mother let herself be comforted, how easily she allowed herself to cry in front of her daughter. All this time, Mother believed it was all in her head.

“I’m not here to haunt you, Mother.” She said, dragging the words out one by one. “I’m here to… to help you. Tell me what happened. It will make you feel better.”

Mother spilled it all. All eight years Andromeda was away, spilt right in front of her with her mother none the wiser and it was bittersweet and hurt. She did this. She pulled away. She put the first crack in this family.

“Oh, and where will Narcissa’s poor boy end up now?” Mother sobbed at the end.

“You can take care of him.” Andromeda said softly.

“No.” The words came at once with no hesitation. “I cannot mess up another child like this. I can’t do it!”

“Where is he now?” She had been convinced Narcissa’s son had been here. If he wasn’t…

“His godfather has him.” Mother shook her head. “How awful. That man… he’s not even a pureblood. Oh, but I can’t take care of little Draco. He will grow up a mess.”

“It’s alright, Mother.” Andromeda soothed her. “Everything is going to be alright.”

Mother sobbed in her arms some more before she fell asleep. Andromeda laid her down on the couch and pushed her hair out of her face. Grey had infiltrated her blond-brown locks. She looked old and weak. Nothing like the strong mother who had raised her to survive even in the Black family.

She didn't wait for her father to come back. Let it be a reassuring dream for her mother than the unfiltered raw reality. Her anger had all but left her when she walked out of her childhood home again.

She never saw her mother again.

~~~

Andromeda let herself collapse on a bench in a Muggle park Ted had taken her before. She needed to think and she needed to grieve.

A muggle woman had just walked into the park pushing a stroller ahead of her, a small girl following behind her with little steps and a huge grin on her face.

Bellatrix had been unstable since before Andromeda could remember. She could never get how it started for Bella. Her sister refused to say anything even after they had both turned seventeen. Now, she wished she had pushed more. Maybe she could have helped. Maybe she could have saved her.

The sky above didn’t have a trace of a cloud for once. Clear blue. It reminded her of Cissy’s eyes.

“Bellatrix let the Dark Lord kill Narcissa.”

Mother’s words hadn’t left her yet. They stayed and festered in the back of her mind. Andromeda wanted to be furious at Bella with all of her heart. She really wanted to. But she couldn’t… Not when the memories she associated with Bella were tumbles in the mud and pranks in the attic. Bella was a force of nature. She couldn’t fathom how anyone could change her so much, to the point of letting their little sister die.

The small girl helped pick up the baby from the stroller and carried it around, showing it the swings, the seesaw, the slide and the merry-go-round. Their mother looked at them fondly, with pride.

Suddenly, she hated the idea that Cissy never got this. Cissy had been the only one of the three to want a family. She had admitted she didn’t much care who her husband would be, but she wanted children. She would play with her dolls for hours, pretending she was their mother. Andromeda and Bella had other visions of the future. Out of the three of them, it made sense Cissy would marry first and have lots of little children to occupy herself with.

The little girl put the baby on one of the baby swings and dragged it back and forth softly. The baby chuckled.

Cissy would never get this now.

Tears run down Andromeda’s cheeks. She didn’t know for which of her sisters she was grieving anymore. She just hated it. What had happened, what had come to be. She wished she could do something somehow. Anything.

She must have cried for what felt like hours. The sun was setting. She had made up her resolve. She needed to know exactly what happened. She owed her sisters that.

~~~

Finding out who Draco’s godfather was, was easy. The newspapers mentioned the name and Andromeda remembered the man from her school years. The boy had been Sirius’ age and although smart, had been a bit sloppy for Slytherin’s standards. Lucius — her fiance at the time, before he fell in love with Cissy — had been kind enough to the boy. Andromeda hadn’t noticed the potential friendship blossoming there but it wouldn’t be strange in the least.

Finding Severus Snape proved slightly more difficult but she knew people. A short trip to Flourish and Blotts, her previous workplace, gave her all the information she needed. She had never been to Spinner’s End before but she easily forced a man from the Leaky Cauldron to take her.

She found the place Snape lived easily and she immediately deemed it unsuitable for raising a child.

Snape didn’t stop her from entering, nor from taking out little Draco’s memories and watching them in the Pensieve. Snape even filled in the blanks for her. The thought of being angry at him crossed her mind when he told her about the prophecy… but how would he have known it would be his godson who would be targeted?

And the memory had put a face to her rage now: Lucius Malfoy.

She had no intention of taking Draco away from his godfather. Not until it was time to leave and she had to put him down on his makeshift crib.

Draco cried as soon as he put him down. His tiny hands reached up to her and grabbed her hair.

“Ma!” He cried. “Ma! Ma!”

Snape watched from the side, like a scared child himself, unable to move lest he angers her. Andromeda hardly spared him a glance though. Her whole world had suddenly changed its orbit, pulled in by tiny hands. He looked so much like Cissy, it hurt. Andromeda remembered Cissy like this. She was barely three but she remembered it so well.

Andromeda and Cissy weren’t much alike in appearance but Draco must have seen something else for he kept crying “Ma!” like a plea.

She pulled him up again and rocked him gently against her arm.

Draco quieted but didn’t let go of her hair still.

“He thinks you are—”

“I know what he thinks.” She cut Snape off.

“I’m not going to stop you if you…” He made a vague gesture.

“Trying to shy away from the responsibility?” She gave him a side glance.

“He’s better off with you is all I’m saying.”

“Well, that much’s for sure.” She huffed.

“I caused this.” Snape said. “I want to pay for my mistakes. I just don’t think raising him myself is the right way to do it. I’m not even sure if I should be part of his life.”

Andromeda looked at Draco. His eyes had drooped and his breathing steadied. He had fallen asleep. She could put him down now and she could leave. His hand had slipped off her hair.

She couldn’t leave him here.

What would Ted say? Would he be angry? What a silly thought; Ted was never angry. Whatever. He would have to accept this because Andromeda didn’t want to let her nephew down ever again.

“I’m taking him off your hands then.” She said, facing Snape. “But you should be in his life. Salazar knows, that might do you some good too.”

Snape nodded solemnly and let her leave.

Andromeda clutched the baby close to her chest all the way home, refusing to put it down even when she was safe in Ted’s embrace.

~~~

They decided to present Draco as a brother to Nymphadora and Andromeda still praised Ted for his decision to do so. Because Draco didn’t find out he was adopted until much later. Dora never questioned it either. She must have realised at some point but it didn’t seem to matter to her.

Since the day Draco came home until Dora left for Hogwarts three years later, it had been an ordeal to get Dora to even go to her Muggle school. She spent all her time at home with her brother and she wanted more.

There came a time when Draco wouldn’t stop crying if his sister didn’t pick him up. And Dora always did. As soon as she was through the door, she ran to Draco and picked him, even twirling him around.

Andromeda could watch them for hours.

Even when Dora started being a bad influence on him, Andromeda didn’t care. Sure, she would yell at them to stop with the silly pranks but the truth was they reminded her so much of her and her sisters.

That scared her sometimes.

She didn’t want what happened to them to happen to her children. But she didn’t need to worry. Her children had something she and her sisters never had: Ted Tonks.

Andromeda spent days grieving her sisters. It came suddenly and left only after Draco, Nymphadora or Ted had brought a smile to her face again. It was effortless for them to do so.

She could see both her children following Ted’s footsteps straight to the Hufflepuff house and that amused her.

But she was still a bad mother. She knew that. She still messed up. More often than not, she would shout at them aggressively or she would shut off and start throwing things, or wrecking them. Logically, she knew what that did to her children. She had read enough parenting books to know. None of the books helped suppress her ugly feelings though. They raged inside her until they exploded. Even a newspaper article could set her off.

Ted would hold her close after her outbursts and offer acceptance.

Andromeda didn’t want acceptance. She wanted to be a good mother.

And she knew her biggest mistake yet. Locking Draco inside the house. She knew how bad that looked. How much it made her son suffer but she couldn’t bear to let him outside. Not with the press out to get him. She wouldn’t allow that.

It all came to a head when Nymphadora sent that letter about meeting up with her at Hogsmeade. Andromeda knew how miserable Draco was without Dora. She hated herself for refusing to give him the chance to see her a bit earlier than Christmas.

She refused.

Draco didn’t even get angry. He hugged her tightly and promised not to go. Pledged he didn’t want to go. He even kept up the ruse when Ted asked him.

She didn’t deserve such a compassionate child. She didn’t deserve Draco and she didn’t deserve Nymphadora.

She had a mental breakdown after the Hogsmeade disaster. One that Ted had to tame and Draco just had to hide from until it was over.

~~~

“You all are better off without me.” She let the words hang in the air in the dark room.

Ted shot up next to her on the bed and grabbed her shoulders, his hands strong and his gaze steadfast.

“I never asked and will never ask you to change, Andy.” Ted spoke harshly yet kindly. “I knew what I was getting myself into and you will never hear me complaining about it.”

“It’s not just you anymore, Ted.” She cried. “I can’t keep doing this to the children. I’m making them walk on tiptoes around me! I’m messing them up!”

“Andromeda.” Ted’s hold tightened. “They know they are loved. They are cared for and their interests are supported and nurtured. They are safe. And you are doing the best you can. Nobody’s asking you to be perfect.”

“I’m just afraid.” She felt a tear run down her cheek. “What if… what if I mess them up so bad they—”

“You are not your mother. Dora isn’t Bellatrix and Draco isn’t Narcissa.”

“But—”

“And even if in some unlikely scenario, it comes down to it… I will be there to stop it.”

Andromeda allowed herself to snuggle against Ted.

“Promise.”

“I promise.” Ted kissed the top of her head. “But it won’t come down to it. Dora would first die before harming Draco and Draco would never allow his sister to become his enemy. That kid can charm the devil himself.”

“I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be.”

Andromeda didn’t feel any better until they sat down and told Draco everything about his ‘adoption’ though.

Draco cried himself to sleep in her arms but she understood now that it was a necessary step. Something that had to happen.

Whatever Draco did with the truth, nothing surfaced enough for her to pick up on it.

They couldn’t keep him locked up anymore though. They started slow.

She had been meaning to reconnect with her cousin, Sirius, for a few years now and she knew he had a child Draco’s age.

Draco attached himself to Neville in a completely different way than he had to Dora. Dora had been the protector. Now, Draco had taken on that role. Neville was someone to protect. Andromeda hoped it would last.

Gradually, they let Draco out of the house. They enrolled him in a Muggle school close to the neighbourhood and they now visited wizard establishments from time to time.

When little Draco wasn’t so little anymore, Andromeda watched him leave the birdnest with some dread. He had maintained his friendship with Neville though so Andromeda knew he would be okay. He wouldn’t be alone. He had someone to depend on.

The fact that Severus was also at Hogwarts was an extra relief in her file. The man had been the male Slytherin role model Draco had needed. Although Andromeda didn’t mind which house Draco ended up in, she was sure he would end up in Slytherin. He had a heart of gold still, but that vitality and commitment would get him to Slytherin and she had been right.

~~~

“Gran, gran!” Eddie babbled.

“Grandma!” Sev countered.

Andromeda rolled her eyes fondly and picked up both boys.

Harry’s match had coincided with Draco’s emergency shooting, with both Hermione and Ron away on a business trip and Dora and Fleur on vacation with their children, the boys had ended up on her doorstep in the early morning.

They had become three a few months ago which was officially the worst age to go through. They tried to touch and eat everything. Andromeda couldn’t take her eyes off them. At least Dora’s girls — although close in age — had been a bit more timid. But these two… She sighed. She couldn’t have expected anything else from four Slytherin parents she supposed. Four because Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione all lived in the Manor and their four children were as good as siblings. Rose — Ron and Hermione’s first born — came first and she had been spoiled rotten by all four of them and by the lion trio. But at least Rose was alone during her awful twos and threes.

These boys would be the end of her.

Bellatrix had her arms full with Orion at the moment. Eight-year-olds aren’t that much easier to entertain.

She thanked Merlin that Molly Weasley had volunteered to watch over Clover and Rose. They were good children but looking after all of them sounded like a losing battle.

“What have you boys been up to?” She asked with a raised brow.

Eddie giggled.

Sev held up a toy for her to inspect.

“What is that?” She asked.

Sev waited a moment before pressing a button.

“What is that?” Her voice came out of the toy.

Both boys giggled now.

“Hm? Did Uncle Theo get you that?”

“Uncle Theo gets best presents!” Eddie said.

Andromeda hummed and without missing a beat, tossed them gently on the sofa.

The giggles stopped for a second and then she tickled them and they were back in full force.

“You better not pull any pranks with that, little rascals.” She teased.

The boys kept laughing and trying to shake her hands away.

She finally let them go free when their eyes filled with happy tears. She still trailed after them though, watching them like a hawk. She refused to let them out of her sight.

They finally settled under the kitchen table and spoke to the Muggle contraption. Then they pressed a button and the device repeated their words, making them giggle.

Andromeda pulled out a chair and settled down on it. She let her mind wander as she mindlessly looked over her grandchildren.

The pang of pain was rare nowadays but it came sometimes when she spent time with them.

Ted would have loved this.

Ted will never have this.

She missed him every day. Even when she didn’t think about him, she still knew something was missing. A part of her, torn apart.

He had always been the better parent. He could handle anything and everything. Draco and Dora reminded her of him whenever she saw them interacting with their children. They had definitely adopted his parenting techniques. Ted had left another trace behind and Andromeda sucked it in like oxygen.

Ted had been right, though.

Dora and Draco were not Bella and Cissy. They had grown up into wonderful wizards, with loving families and children. And after what they had gone through in the war? They deserved it.

She had been terrified when Ted had died. She had been convinced she would mess Dora and Draco up then and there. She didn’t know how to act. She didn’t know how to comfort them. She didn’t know how to be Ted.

Dora took on the mantle admirably though. They never complained — not even once — when they were forced to deal with Andromeda’s tantrums and seizures. And as much as Andromeda hated pushing that onto her child, she could acknowledge the need for it.

She apologised to Dora about it once. How much she pushed onto them.

Dora shook her head with a big smile on their face.

“Mum, do you truly believe Dad was the only one we learnt things from? Who do you think we learnt loyalty from? The way you would become this dangerous beast just to protect us? The way you would bypass any moral argument to protect us? The way I know you would have stood against the Dark Lord himself if it meant protecting us?" Dora smiled. "Mum, you taught us this. You taught us how important family is.” They grinned. “Dad might have been the peacekeeper, sure. And a peacekeeper is needed in times of peace. But, believe me, when I say this, we wouldn’t have survived the war without our feral pack leader.”

She had cried then.

She had given them something. She had offered them something she hadn’t even known about. The ‘family above everything’ had come from her, not Ted. And now that she thought about it, maybe she was projecting a bit. Her family was torn apart because they didn’t uphold that after all.

Her children though? They had it etched so deep inside them, that nothing would stop them from being each other’s strongest ally. Not a Dark Lord, not a war and definitely not a blasted prophecy.

Sev bumped his head against the chair leg and before Andromeda could even get up, Eddie was cradling his brother’s head and kissing it better.

She smiled and took out her wand to heal her grandson.

Eddie looked more upset about Sev getting hurt than Sev himself.

“Gran!” Eddie cried. “Sev is hurt!”

“It’s alright, darling.” She said softly. “Let me take a look at him.”

At her words, Eddie let go of his brother’s head but quickly grabbed his hand, unwilling to let him hurt without some comfort.

Family first, huh…

Maybe she wasn’t such a bad mother after all.

Chapter Text

Sirius hadn’t known life without his little sister and the mere notion that he could have grown up alone had him shaking with goosebumps.

Regina would follow him around since he could remember. Her black hair bounced around in soft curls and her dresses had to be cut short if their parents needed them to stay whole. Regina had been a lively child.

Mother had been soft at them at first. She only screamed once or twice a day. To be fair, Sirius and Regina did get up to a lot of trouble and her screams were justified. Especially that one time the two children had managed to burn down an antique sofa.

When Sirius turned five, Walburga Black stopped being their mother. She turned into their warden instead. Sirius had to cut his hair short. Regina had to grow hers long. Sirius had to keep his clothes clean and without wrinkles. Regina had to wear long dresses and keep her wild hair in check.

Sirius didn’t like the changes. He hated standing still and he had trouble behaving like anything short of a rabid dog most of the time.

Regina hated the changes and Sirius could see it in the way she held herself. Her easy smiles had walked out the door. She would grab at her dresses and tighten her little fists around the material like it had personally wronged her and her hair… Sirius never saw her with her hair down after it grew past her shoulders. She would tie it in a low ponytail and act like it didn’t exist.

Sirius found her with scissors in her tiny hands one cold winter night. She was barely seven.

“Reggie?” Sirius sat and locked the door behind him. “What—”

Regina turned to face him, tears running down her cheeks and her lips bleeding. The scissors fell from her hand and she looked at her empty hand, sobbing even more strongly.

With two quick steps, Sirius pulled her in a tight embrace and squeezed.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright. It will all be alright.”

“I… I hate it… It’s… it’s not…” Her hands grabbed the front of his pajama shirt and pulled. “I am not— This is wrong. It’s all wrong.”

“What’s wrong, Reggie?”

“Everything.” A choked sound escaped her throat and Sirius wanted to make anything that hurt his little sister so deeply disappear without a trace.

“What’s everything, Reggie? Help me understand.”

Regina took a few minutes to get her sobbing under control before burrowing her head in Sirius’ neck.

“My hair, my clothes, my name, my face. Everything is wrong.”

Sirius pulled back just a tiny bit and held Regina’s cheeks firmly.

“Nothing will ever be wrong with your face, Reggie. It’s the prettiest face ever. Alright? Big brother is always right.”

“But… but…”

“Your face is great. And everything else? We can change it, alright?”

“But mother—”

“Screw mother.” Sirius picked up the scissors from the floor. “How short do you want them?”

And so started Sirius’ little rebellion.

Regina wanted them neck length.

When Walburga began yelling at Regina about it, Sirius said he cut it in her sleep.

Next went the clothes. Sirius burnt them all.

Regina was ‘forced’ to wear Sirius’ hands-me-down. Sirius hadn’t seen her happier in years.

For the name, Sirius had to get a bit creative.

“How about Regulus? It rhymes with Sirius?”

Regina’s sparkly eyes were answer enough.

Sirius presented it as a joke to their parents. He said Regulus’ name at least fifty times a day though, so it eventually stuck. It was contagious in a way.

“So what else?”

Pronouns, manners, heels, perfume, frills and ribbons. Sirius took it all away. He made it all disappear.

By the time Sirius reached Hogwarts age, Regulus was a boy in all but his body.

~~~

The Black family had strict rules and protocols. Regulus felt extremely lucky to have a brother like Sirius. It had been Regulus’ rebellion to raise but Sirius had marched on ahead holding the flag with no hesitation.

Regulus believed his place in the household had been established. He was ten and he was the second son. Nothing else made sense by that time.

Then Sirius got into Gryffindor.

Mother yelled at Regulus for the tiniest things. If you want to be a boy, then make sure you do this, not that. If you want to be part of this family, get into Slytherin. We need to sell you being a boy, though. You will still carry an heir though. I don’t care how.

Regulus was ten.

The freedom to be a boy had come with the added cost of making any other form of freedom out of reach. Regulus had to be the perfect son if he didn’t want Mother to force her dresses on him. He had to be perfect.

Hogwarts had become a place of liberation for Sirius. For Regulus, it was yet another prison. And if Regulus wanted to start another revolution there, he had to do it on his own. Sirius had all but cut him off.

Well, not exactly.

Sirius would still meet him in secret sometimes. He would inquire about his well-being and how classes were going but that was the extent of it. It took Regulus half a year to realise Sirius didn’t want to be seen with him. With a Slytherin.

Regulus wanted to wake up. This had to be a nightmare, right? His biggest ally turned into… what? A reluctant enemy?

His cousin, Narcissa found him crying in the common room one night. She didn’t even ask the reason. Maybe she knew. She led him to the front of the fireplace and let him rest his head against her shoulder, a warm arm holding him close.

“He still loves you.” She said serenely. “He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

Regulus shook his head. He had heard him. He had heard Sirius call Potter his brother. Regulus was probably only a bad memory for him now. Faded and washed away.

“He doesn’t know how to handle being in Gryffindor.”

“He hates me.” Regulus sobbed. “Because I’m a Slytherin. Like Mother and Father.” He looked up at Narcissa with pleading eyes. “I had to be.”

“I know, darling.” Narcissa soothed. “I know.”

She held him until morning. Regulus fell asleep at some point, but Narcissa was still next to him when he woke up in the morning.

Her message came across just fine though. She was there for him. If he needed her.

Navigating Hogwarts became easier then. Regulus made friends his age, mostly avoided Sirius and even developed a crush. On a boy nonetheless. Life was alright.

He still had to play the perfect son. When he hit puberty and his period came, he ran to Narcissa with tears and snot covering his face. Narcissa patiently explained how to handle it and managed to convince him that this didn’t make him any less of a boy. Neither did his growing chest. Narcissa, in her final year then, had found a suitable spell for restraining his chest and taught it to him.

Narcissa’s help didn’t end there. Even after she graduated she sent potions to him that would emulate a boy’s puberty. They worked like a charm.

His voice finally cracked when he was fifteen. Regulus loved it.

He made the Quidditch team as a Seeker that same year. He learnt to have fun like a child for once. He loved it. Flying was the most freedom he had ever tasted.

Liking Severus Snape of all people was a cruel joke of fate though. There were many problems with Regulus’ crush. He had even made a list.

He was definitely straight.
He had a crush on Lily Evans.
He hated Sirius and didn’t want anything to do with his little brother.

His mostly antisocial behaviour didn’t help either. Regulus would approach him for help with homework because that was the only way he could get Severus to talk with him.

Then Sirius caught wind of his proximity with Severus and misunderstood big time. He thought Severus tried to get embarrassing details about Sirius from him. Regulus didn’t know how to explain to his brother that he approached him first without revealing the enormous crush he was fostering.

Sirius started hating him earnestly after that.

Regulus could take that. He could take playing the bad guy, the bad little brother, than whatever they had going on before. Before was a mess. Sirius would lovingly ask him about his day when they were alone and then openly badmouth him when anyone else was around. Overall hostility was much more manageable.

By the time Regulus finished school, Sirius had been long gone from their family. A war raged in the world and Regulus knew he had to take a stand soon. His older brother wasn’t there to do it.

Death Eaters had approached him. He had to join them as a representative of his family. No matter how much he disagreed with his parents, they were still his parents and he couldn’t let Death Eaters get to them. He would take the stupid mark and follow the Dark Lord and that will have to be enough.

Bella had been the one to approach him and that, at least, was a bit of a comfort. Regulus could sympathise with Bella, whose sister had also run away. Andromeda jumping ship as well certainly was a blow. But at least she did it for love. Regulus could get behind that.

In his defense, Regulus did not join the Death Eaters for love. Sure, he still fostered a crush on Severus but he joined for his family. He couldn’t let Mother or Father join in his place. He needed to make sure they stayed safe. He was the heir, he had to do this. His parents had accepted him as a son so he had to pay them back in any way he could.

Regulus had many virtues but his demise came anyway. He could never beat his curiosity. If he found a loose strand, he had to pull and pull until he unravelled everything. Stumbling upon the truth of the Dark Lord’s immortality had been a mixture of luck, stubbornness and access to the Black family’s library. Regulus knew that library like the back of his hand. He and Sirius had spent days playing downstairs. Sirius used to read back then. Regulus wasn’t sure when his brother grew out of it. Maybe when he grew out of Regulus.

Thinking about Sirius made his head hurt so he avoided it. Memories of his brother would still jump up on him though. You don’t spend ten years joined at the hip with someone and then completely forget about him. Regulus wasn’t even eighteen. The biggest part of his life, Sirius had been there.

Regulus wished he could choose Sirius over his parents sometimes. He mused that if it was a matter of life or death, he would choose Sirius. For now, his parents couldn’t bear to lose another son. Sirius was fine on his own. He always was the independent one. Maybe after their parents died, Sirius and Regulus could reconcile in their old age. That would be nice.

It became terribly evident that not both of them might reach that sweet old age though. Sirius had allied himself with the Order of the Phoenix. He would die.

The decision was abrupt and stupid but Regulus wouldn’t let his brother die. Even if said brother hated him, Regulus would try the best he could to save him.

So he restarted his research on the Horcruxes and when the Dark Lord asked for a house elf to help him with something, Regulus saw his chance. He offered Kreacher and instructed him to relay to him any information the Dark Lord let slip. He insisted on Kreacher coming right back when his task was done.

He hadn’t expected Kreacher to come back sick. The poor creature could hardly speak. Regulus nursed him back to health. As soon as he could speak again, Kreacher willingly and enthusiastically relayed the information about the locket.

Regulus wasted no time. He packed and waited for Kreacher to be back to good health before asking the elf to apparate him to the cave.

The liquid that had made Kreacher so sick was back again, protecting the locket. Kreacher offered to drink it again but Regulus firmly told him ‘no’. He delivered it as an order so Kreacher could do nothing but watch Regulus drink the liquid. It got harder the more he drank. He could swear he saw Sirius staring back at him from the middle of the lake. But Sirius wasn’t there. He couldn’t be there. Regulus fought the hallucinations with logic and was victorious. He managed to get the locket out.

“Make an identical one.” He said to Kreacher.

“I needs take Master to Mistress. Mistress can help.”

“Make a locket, Kreacher.” He breathed roughly. He was done for. He knew that.

This time, Kreacher made one and as per Regulus’ instructions, he put it back to the basin.

Regulus leaned his back against a rock and handed the real locket to Kreacher.

“You take that out of here.” He huffed. “And destroy it.”

“But, Master—”

“Go. That’s an order.”

Regulus let the silence engulf him. He knew inferni resided in the lake. He had seen them when he came in. His throat was parched but he refused to stand up. If he stood up, he wouldn’t be able to resist the allure of the water in the lake.

“So this is all you are good for?” Hallucination-Sirius asked. “Dying for your family?”

“Shut up.” Regulus knew he wasn’t real but he welcomed the company in his final moments. He wouldn’t choose any other companion than his brother.

“If you think this is enough to love you again, you are mistaken.”

“I know.” He closed his eyes. “You will never know about this and that’s okay. I just want you to be happy.”

“I was happy anyway.” Sirius huffed. “I found my family. And it’s not you.”

“I know.”

If words were a sword, then the truth was a bomb. It tore Regulus apart but he knew how his brother felt about him. Sirius had only loved him because he didn’t have anyone else to love then. Now, he had other people he loved, other people he cared about. Regulus was never making that list ever again.

It might be better to die than continue living like this. Living while knowing that Sirius hated him so much.

Maybe he should end it now.

The lake had started calling to him again. Sirius’ ghost had fallen silent, like it also waited for him to stand up and let the lake take him.

“You always give up so easily.”

Regulus had just started raising his body. He fell back to the ground. He could be a bit more stubborn this time. He could make his brother proud one last time, even if it wasn’t his brother at all.

“I wish you loved me again.” He said to the ghost. “I would do anything to have you love me again.”

“I won’t.”

Regulus cried. He hadn’t cried in years. Well, whatever, he was alone, he would die soon, what did it matter if he cried?

Soon, his weight doubled and he fell back against the rock. He didn’t have the strength to get up anymore. He closed his eyes. He wondered if there was an afterlife and if there was… would Sirius talk to him again one day? He hoped he would. It would be nice to have his brother back…

He was sure he heard someone calling his name before he lost his senses entirely.

It wasn’t Sirius’ voice, so he didn’t really care anyway.

~~~

Regulus woke up alone. He blinked his eyes open slowly, taking in his surroundings. The dark room didn’t betray any details of its interior but the sofa — for it had to be a sofa — he lied on gave him a good idea for the rest of the furniture. He hadn’t expected the afterlife to be an expensive set of living room furniture.

When he made his first attempt to get up though, his vision swam and he fell back to the pillow with a soft thump.

“Don’t try to move just yet, darling.” A huff. “That stuff isn’t out of your system yet. Take it easy.”

Regulus squinted his eyes in the darkness. The voice reminded him of someone but he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe an ancestor?

He heard a click and the lights turned on. In front of him stood Narcissa. Her white dress made her look awfully young and innocent but her eyes held concern and a tinge of annoyance.

“How are you here?” Regulus croaked. His throat was parched.

Narcissa brought a glass of water to his lips and huffed.

“You are really out of it, aren’t you?” She held the glass tenderly as Regulus drank. “This is the Malfoy Manor. I would ask ‘how are you here’ but I was the one who brought you, so.” She shrugged with a smile.

“I’m not dead?” Drinking water had helped. He already felt better and pushed himself to a sitting position on the sofa.

“I would hope not.” She huffed and put the empty glass on the low table. She took a seat on the armchair opposite him. “It was no easy task getting you here without anyone noticing, you know. Wouldn’t want my trouble to go to waste.”

“How…?” The last thing Regulus remembered was the cave and Sirius’ hallucination.

“Kreacher came calling. Poor creature was mighty terrified. Your parents had just left to visit the Lestranges. I was merely visiting to research something at the Black library. Thank Salazar that Aunt Walburga allows me to use it even after being married out of the family.” She shrugged again. “So there’s my story. Time to share yours.”

Regulus shifted in his seat. He hadn’t expected to survive.

“Where’s Kreacher?”

“Hiding in the kitchen. He thinks you will be cross with him for coming back.” She rolled her eyes. “And he’s clutching a locket like it’s the Ruling Ring. I haven’t seen him so possessive since that one time I tried to take his spatula away. He really loves that spatula.”

“Ruling Ring?” Regulus frowned.

“Doesn’t matter.” She made an indistinct gesture. “I really need to get you acquainted with some Muggle literature. Lord of the Rings is a classic, you know.”

“That old fascination with Muggle books will never end, huh? I thought you grew out of it.”

“I’m just better at hiding it.” She leaned forward. “So? What are you up to, my dear cousin?”

If Regulus’ curiosity was a damning bomb waiting to go off, Narcissa’s was a golden shield. She used it as the ultimate excuse to learn new things without consequences. It was an art, what she did. Regulus should have asked for pointers.

“I did something — and I can’t tell you what, it’s dangerous — that goes against the Dark Lord’s cause.”

The thought that Narcissa would give him away to the Death Eaters didn’t even cross Regulus’ mind. Even if both her sister and her husband were Death Eaters, Regulus knew she would never give away family. Narcissa was willing to keep all the secrets in the world if it meant her family could get along and stay safe.

“Oh.” Her amused expression still turned serious though. “Does he know?”

Regulus shook his head.

“Oh, then all is good.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Lead with that the next time. Don’t make me worry.”

“It’s not.” Regulus said softly. “What I did… If he finds out about it…”

Her brows knitted together again.

“I will go talk to Kreacher.” Regulus slowly stood up. “Then I will be out of your hair.”

Narcissa regarded him carefully as he made the slow trudge to the kitchen. He didn’t make it to the kitchen before she spoke though.

“You intend to betray him.” She said slowly. “Fully.”

Regulus nodded.

“That’s an awful idea.”

“I have to.”

“Is this about Sirius?”

“Wouldn’t you do the same if it was Andromeda joining the Order of the Phoenix?”

Low blow. Regulus knew that.

“It doesn’t matter what I would do.” Narcissa said. “I can protect myself. You, on the other hand, have a very weak mind shield. Even I can make out what you are planning. You can’t hope to fool the Dark Lord.”

Regulus glared.

“You know I am right.”

“What do you want me to do then? If I openly defy him, then I’m dead even faster.”

“Then leave.” Before he realised, she was next to him, holding his hands. “Get out.”

“Get— You want me to run away?”

“I want you to survive.”

“Then why are you not running?”

“Reg.” She said softly, kindly. “Bella is here. She needs me.”

“Bella has gone mad. The madness got her.”

“Mad or not, she’s still my sister.” Her blue eyes held no fear, just determination. “Same with Andromeda. Estranged or not, she’s my sister. I need to be here. I need to make sure they both make it out.”

“Sirius is still my brother.”

“I will look after Sirius too. For you.” Her grip on him tightened. “But I want to look out for you as well and I know that if you stay here, you will die.” She shook her head, tears threatened to fall from her kind eyes. “Go be free, Reg. You could have very well died in that cave. Let’s have that be the truth everyone knows.” She raised a hand to his cheek and stroked it tenderly, like a mother. “Kreacher will lie for you as long as you give the order and I shall never speak of this day ever again. To anyone. You will be free. No Black family rules and musts and responsibilities. You will be free to live however you want.”

Regulus wouldn’t have listened to her. He noticed the truth behind her words, however. ‘I wish I could be free too. I wish I could be myself. I wish I had no responsibilities. I can’t have that, but you can. At least one of us can get that. I will take on your burden, so please, go live my dream.’ The message was clear even if none of the words came out of her mouth.

“Are you using reverse Legilimency on me?” Regulus chuckled.

“Is it working?” She grinned.

“Guilt-tripping me, huh? How anybody thinks you are the ‘serious’ sister, I will never know.”

“I’m good at acting.” She giggled. “I should have become an actress. I would have been an instant success.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

Regulus made Kreacher swear not to tell the truth and ordered him to destroy the locket as soon as possible.

Narcissa went to the bank and turned a good amount of the money in Regulus’ vault into Muggle currency then she came back and gave him a detailed list of directions about how to live like a Muggle. No matter that most of her Muggle knowledge came from novels, it was still better than nothing.

“You had better destroy your wand as soon as you are settled down.” She said before he departed. “Lay low for a few years. You don’t want anyone tracing you.”

Regulus nodded and they stood at the standstill in the empty stretch of forest Narcissa had taken him to in order to apparate to another country.

“You won’t be getting any more advice from me, dear cousin.” She smiled. “I told you all I know. Now you go live the wild life.”

Blacks didn’t really hug but Regulus felt that the situation excused it. He gathered Narcissa in his arms and squeezed tightly. Narcissa stiffened at first, then relaxed into it.

“Everything will be alright, Reg.”

“Thank you.” He tried to relay all his feelings with it. “For everything.”

“Go live a good life and we will call it even.”

Regulus shook his head.

“No way. This is a life debt and I fully intend on paying it back one day.”

“Well…” Narcissa patted his hair gently. “If it means seeing you again, I guess I can live with that. Not anytime soon though. No coming back until you are certain it’s safe. Alright?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He stepped back, waved at her one last time and left with a POP.

That was the last time he saw Narcissa, even if he didn’t know it at the time.

~~~

Sirius hated his parents with vigour. He hadn’t expected an invitation to his father’s funeral. Especially not since he had found himself on the opposite side of his family in the last war. He considered burning the letter and skipping the affair altogether.

“I think this is a good opportunity for you.” Remus said, cradling Neville against his chest. “You haven’t shut up about meeting your brother in the last two years. You should go.”

Naturally, Sirius wanted to see Regulus again. He and his brother might not have parted in good faith but he still felt attachment towards the one person who stayed his ally in that house. Meeting his mother was another story.

Neville whined and Sirius took him into his arms this time, lulling him to sleep.

His mother was an awful parent. Sirius could hardly remember a time he didn’t hate her. Looking at Neville now, though, he could understand her better. Being in charge of a little human changed you. Sirius might hate his mother but he knew that she still loved him, in her own crooked way.

He decided to go. Regulus would be there too, after all.

~~~

He wasn’t there. Regulus wasn’t there. He wasn’t there because he was gone, presumed dead.

And Sirius hadn’t known.

He didn’t know how he had held it together.

He returned home in a trance. He walked right past a concerned Remus and barely made it to their room before collapsing on the bed and burying his face in his pillow. His breaths came ragged and tired and confused and Sirius fought to make his mind make sense.

“That bad?” Remus said softly. He stood by the door, giving Sirius the space he needed.

“He’s dead.” Sirius sobbed.

“Oh, Padfoot…” Remus made a soft noise and drew closer, resting a hand on Sirius’ back. “I know you hated him. But it’s entirely normal to still be sad about his death. He was your father after all.”

Sirius shook his head. He didn’t want to have to speak the words. He didn’t think his tongue could even produce his brother’s name at the moment.

Remus kept stroking his back.

“My brother…” Sirius tried and tears finally found him. “He’s dead, Moony. A year ago. I didn’t know. I can’t…” A disgruntled sound left his throat. “I will never see him again.”

Remus held him that night and Sirius welcomed the touch but it didn’t make him feel any better. Not when his little brother was gone for good. Not when Sirius missed his chance to get close to him again. Not when Sirius finally realised how much he had messed up. He had pushed Regulus away. He had done that. And now he was really away. Far away beyond Sirius’ reach.

‘That’s what you get for abandoning your family.’

Sirius shot up and looked around in a frenzy. Nobody was there. Even Remus had fallen asleep next to him. But Sirius had heard a voice, a familiar voice that sounded a lot like his very dead father.

Sirius waited and waited for a long time but the voice didn’t speak again. He huffed and fell back to the mattress.

“I guess that if there was ever anything that would trigger the madness…” He murmured in the darkness. “...it would be my little brother, huh.”

Sirius already knew it would take him years to recover from this. He also doubted that the guilt he felt would ever disappear. He couldn’t let the madness take over, though. Not when he had a child to raise.

~~~

Regulus had never felt more like himself. He started in Ireland, then Spain, then France, then Germany. He visited the United States and Canada, where he met an Asian witch who helped him train his Occlumency. If he ever intended to go back to England, he had to make sure he could conceal his thoughts.

The witch became a good friend of his and she even invited him back home to her country once. In Japan, Regulus could be a wizard. The influence of the war hadn’t reached so far East. He decided to grab the chance and travel around Asia for a bit longer. He saw things he never even imagined before.

He ended up in Egypt at some point and the ancient culture called out to him. He had decided to travel as a Muggle but he met a wizard there. They dated for five months and he helped Regulus become an animagus. It was Regulus who broke it off. They stayed friends. Regulus held the memories of him close to his heart.

He held all the memories of his travels in his heart. It was a new world. Nothing like the small island of the United Kingdom. This was the world with millions of cultures and customs in it.

After Egypt, he needed to take a break from the world. He had heard about Greece many times from Muggles who would choose it as a travelling destination. Regulus took the plunge.

It might have been because of the timing of his visit but Regulus loved the place. He found an apartment on an island there and settled down. He stayed there for five years. The neighbours knew him. That was a first. He had even found a job at a nearby coffee shop and the owner had become a good friend. Regulus was reluctant to go but he knew it was time. He needed to move on. He was feeling the itch to travel once again. This time, he didn’t just disappear. He kept the house under his name and said goodbye to all his friends before he moved on.

He enjoyed the Balkans. Russia was much colder than he expected. Sweden held an anonymity Regulus rejoiced in. Then he was in Italy, enjoying the boisterous locals who reminded him a lot of his Greek friends. Hungary had nice landscapes. Before he knew it, he was back in Spain again, enjoying the loud locals.

He hadn’t used magic since Egypt.

In Spain, he met a drunkard who was yelling something about losing his wand. Regulus immediately recognised the man. It was hard not to. Gilderoy Lockhart had been one of the highest-ranking boys in the ‘most-wanted-to-date’ at Hogwarts. Regulus had never fallen for the Ravenclaws’ charms but he could admit the man was handsome.

Regulus pulled him aside before he caused an even bigger scene and helped him settle down on a table in the inn. He figured he could talk to the man freely. He didn’t look like he recognised Regulus and with how much he had drunk, Regulus was pretty sure he wouldn’t remember anything the next day. He was mostly amused by the man’s ranting until he said the name of the boy who had supposedly destroyed his reputation: Draco Black.

For an awfully long time, Regulus was frozen in time. His thoughts — after years — went back to his older brother and how this child could be his son. Imagine that. Sirius, a dad.

It wasn’t until Lockhart mentioned the Dark Lord that the soft notion of Sirius having a son left his mind. What connection would Sirius’ son have with the Dark Lord? A million questions ran through Regulus’ head but he didn’t voice any.

Lockhart was slowly sobering up and Regulus knew his time was running out. He paid the tab and left. Lockhart looked good enough by now to survive without performing magic in front of Muggles.

After fifteen long years, Regulus stepped foot in England once again. It didn’t feel like homecoming. Not when Regulus finally managed to get a Daily Prophet and found out Narcissa — the only person who knew he was still alive — had died thirteen years ago. A quick visit to Grimmauld taught him his parents had also died. Both of them.

Lost and confused, Regulus sought out the only living family he could think of. He would just get a glimpse and then disappear. Sirius wouldn’t even notice him. He would go as an animagus. He just needed to see with his eyes that Sirius was alive, to know that he was happy.

Seeing him happy hurt more than Regulus had expected. He thought he was over his brother hating him but he was once again wishing he was in his brother’s life. He thought fifteen years were enough but it seemed like nothing would ever make Sirius shine any less. Nothing would make Regulus be okay with being hated.

He hadn’t meant to see Narcissa’s son there. He would have sought him out later but he was there and he looked so much like her. His face, his mannerisms, his voice. Poor boy must have gone through hell. His mother dead and his father… well, his father out to get him. Regulus should watch over him. He owed Narcissa that much.

He decided to stick around. Just for a while. Until Lucius Malfoy was captured and Draco was safe again.

He hadn’t expected to get attached to the boy. Nor had he expected to see as much of Sirius as he had. Who would have ever thought Sirius would be a good professor, right? And in the end, he had become a dad, even if Draco Black wasn't his son.

Hiding was easy as long as he stuck to his animagus form. Nobody would know. Nobody had to know.

Regulus would just stay close and watch over the boy. Nothing more.

~~~

It ended up being way more than Regulus had originally planned for. He didn’t regret it, though.

He found his family again.

Sirius didn’t hate him. Andromeda was more than ready to accept him back and Bella was getting better everyday. It reminded Regulus of the days the five of them would play in the garden of Grimmauld. Narcissa was missing, of course, but Draco helped make her absence less evident. The boy certainly had her character.

Regulus cupped his belly tenderly. They had found out he was carrying a boy two days ago. Not that it made much difference if it was a boy or a girl. Regulus knew first-hand that such things weren’t always set in stone. For now, though, it was a boy and Regulus was giving him a male name. He could change it anytime if he chose to. Regulus would never stop him and he knew that Severus wouldn’t either.

They decided on choosing a name each and choosing which would be the first and which the middle based on which sounded better. They still hadn’t settled on a last name.

Regulus chose ‘Orion’ in honour of his father. The man might not have won any Father of the Year awards but he had supported Regulus when he needed it. And if he named him after Sirius, that would have been plain creepy. He might have reconciled with his brother but he didn’t want to seem like the over-clingy little brother that he was.

Severus’ choice made Regulus outright cackle, which ended with a quick trip to the toilet because the baby was pressing down on his bladder and laughing didn’t help.

“Gellert.” Regulus echoed after his quick trip to the loo. “You want to name the child ‘Gellert’. After Grindelwald.” He couldn’t keep the incredulity out of his voice.

“It’s a form of respect.” Severus huffed.

“Respect? You were ready to gauge his eyes out before the final battle?”

“Yeah, well, I was wrong.” He looked anywhere but at Regulus. “He ended up playing a big role in the whole thing. And…” Now, Severus blushed in that way he rarely did. “I might have… idolised him a bit too… as a child.”

Regulus burst into laughter. He knew that, of course. He knew Severus as a child. He had talked about Grindelwald with him. It still made Regulus all soft inside that Severus would now admit these kinds of things to him. It seemed that since Regulus had gotten pregnant, Severus had gone from hard to moderately soft to outright soft in a matter of months. Regulus loved watching him soften. It only happened when they were alone, though. But that was okay. This part of Severus, Regulus wanted to keep all to himself.

“So, Orion Gellert or Gellert Orion?” Regulus smiled, already knowing the answer.

“I said I want to pay some respect. Not having everyone asking about it.” Severus huffed.

“Orion Gellert Snape it is.” Regulus grinned.

“Black.” Severus corrected.

“No way will you be able to handle that.”

“I don’t want my child carrying my father’s name.” Severus’ eyes hardened.

That, Regulus could understand. It was also Severus’ name but he knew a losing battle when he saw one.

“Black it is then.” He tilted his head. “Will you also take up the name, dear?”

The glare Severus levelled him with was a godsend. Regulus didn’t stop laughing for a good five minutes.

This pregnancy was either making him find everything funny, or his life had really become that much more funny.

Either way, Regulus loved it. The pregnancy, and Severus, and his brother, who might have restarted his old vendetta with Severus again after he got Regulus pregnant but who still looked forward to meeting his nephew.

Regulus had his brother back again. Something he had given up on. But here his brother was, fretting over Regulus like Regulus was seven again and in dire need of his brother's affection. Regulus didn't mind. Secretly, he basked in the attention and care. Secretly, he wished he had never left. He wished he didn't have to live almost twenty years believing his brother hated him. His years abroad had shaped him into what he was now, but sometimes Regulus would dare think of what could have been if he stayed. Maybe he would have died, or maybe he would have saved Narcissa, maybe he would have been an uncle to Draco and Neville growing up.

All the maybes flew out the window when little Orion was born though. Regulus dead tired after giving birth, Severus holding little Orion like he was the most precious thing in the world and Sirius being right there, holding onto Regulus' hand with a fond and proud smile.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter Text

Ron never had a direction to follow.

He had five older brothers, all different, all so… special. Ron was just… Ron. Not Bill, the golden child who found a respectable job right out of Hogwarts, or Charlie, who was a bit of an oddball but had a certain charm about him, or Percy, the smartest one with the perfect grades and perfect behaviour, or the twins… oh, but Fred and George were just two years older yet Ron already knew he would never catch up with them. See, he had no direction to move in.

When the time came for Ron to go to Hogwarts, he was convinced he would spend his school years in the shadows of his brothers.

Then Draco spoke to him.

Let alone living in the shadows, Ron was now in the forefront, fighting evil wizards and making intricate schemes every other Tuesday.

Ron chose Slytherin when the hat asked. Draco liked him. Draco was funny. Ron was unnaturally loyal and easily attached. He used to think it was a bad character trait. Draco and his friends made it seem like his most charming part.

Being friends with Draco automatically meant being friends with Neville. Harry had been more of a curveball but Ron and he got along really well. They were both oddballs in Slytherin after all. That didn’t stop Greg and Vincent from warming up to them in less than a week though.

Theo and Lily came later. Much later.

And, well, Hermione was always different. Ron couldn’t tear his eyes from her bushy hair and the sound of her prissy voice did something he couldn’t yet explain to his brain. It infuriated him.

He could easily name it now as he watched his wife breastfeed their daughter. It was the same fuzzy feeling. It was adoration.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful.”

Hermione blushed and gave him a fond look.

He couldn’t believe he had grown up thinking such declarations as cheesy. Thankfully, Slytherin beat that out of him. It certainly helped him become his own person. He wasn’t just Ron anymore. He was the snake of the family. It had taken a while for his family to get used to it and his first summer as a Slytherin, for the first time in his life, his family’s eyes were all on him. That made him realise that he was truly someone else now. He wasn’t just another Weasley anymore. He was Ron.

It still took him embarrassingly long to get together with Hermione but once it happened, Ron didn’t think they would ever break up. It felt like it was meant to be. Ron had evidently been charmed by the very distinct female Slytherin personality and he acted like a whipped puppy around her. He knew everyone could see how lovestruck he was. He knew he would do anything and everything Hermione asked him to. He would hand her his life on a silver platter and let her do what she pleased with it.

Ron soon learnt that when he loved, he loved obsessively.

~~~

He remembered seeing Hermione so heartbroken over Buckbeak’s trial and feeling ready to destroy the Ministry if it meant wiping that look from her face. But that wasn’t Hermione’s only problem that year. Ron had watched her wearing herself thin with all the lessons she had taken. He wished he could do something, anything to help her.

He first realised he liked her by the end of their third year, but it became painfully intense when he thought his puberty would get the best of him during that time Hermione leaned across his lap to talk to Draco at the Quidditch World Cup. It became unbearable from then.

That year, Hermione had changed as if overnight. She spent some of her summer holidays at the Burrow. She and Ron moved around the house practically joined at the hip. The close proximity had gotten Ron flustered more times than he would like to admit. Hermione willingly bending the rules outright caused him heart attacks.

Wherever the rule-bound Hermione had migrated to, she wasn’t coming back any time soon. That just added to her charm.

When the time for the Yule Ball came, Ron couldn’t think of going with anyone else. They were still just friends but Ron could work with that. It didn’t have to be anything more. Ron just wanted to go with her.

She asked him out before he had the chance. That surprised him more than he cared to admit. See, Ron didn’t have many options apart from Hermione and Lily but Hermione had five of them to choose from. And she chose him. Over Draco, over Harry, over Neville and over Theo, she chose him. The thought made him all tingly inside.

Despite Ron and Hermione insisting on going as friends, the rest of the Marauders had a different opinion, asking questions like ‘when’s the wedding’ and whatnot. Ron could feel his cheeks flush. He hoped Hermione didn’t notice and at the same time wished she did.

Looking back now, Ron was an idiot. Hermione had been blushing just as hard as Ron. Alas, back then, Ron had the self-confidence of a worm and couldn’t fathom that Hermione saw him as something other than a good friend. His mind entirely bypassed all the subtle clues Hermione shoved in his face.

“I was terrified when I asked you out.” Hermione had said years later, in the safety of their bedroom in the Malfoy Manor. “I was convinced you would shoot me down. Remember how much I insisted on us going as ‘friends’? That was because I didn’t want to see you reject me.”

Ron wished he had been less oblivious. He wished he could go back and tell her then how much he liked her and how much he wanted them to be a thing. Then again, it wouldn’t be called ‘teenage drama' if everything was so easy, right?

That night, Hermione was the prettiest Ron had ever seen her. He couldn’t, for the life of him, compare her to any other girls. Simply because Ron hadn’t taken her eyes off her all night. The only one he could compare her to was her usual everyday self. Not that she wasn’t beautiful everyday. It was more like a ten out of ten becoming an eleven and making him want to spin her around all night long.

Hermione never stopped topping that night though. Seeing her after months apart during the war, Ron thought her an angel. On their wedding day, Hermione reached goddess levels and then… well, then Hermione fell pregnant and became the universe. Like the beauty of the universe, hers was unimaginable. It was also infinite. Her slim body had turned stockier with the pregnancy but Ron loved it even more. This wasn’t a teenage girl whom Ron was crushing on. This was his wife, his life partner who became greater and greater the older she got. This was the woman who gave birth to their daughter.

The Yule Ball still held significance in their relationship. They kissed for the first time that night, hidden away behind the heavy curtains against the walls. Hermione put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him down just the tiniest bit, barely an inch. Their faces stood almost flush against each other. One movement and their lips would meet. Hermione brought them this far. She asked him out, she pulled him down and she was giving him the most telling glance. Well, Ron had to do some work as well, right? The final step.

He took the plunge.

Hermione’s soft lips tasted like vanilla.

The kiss was bashful and soft and tender. Just lips, no tongue. Slow and gentle and… them.

They pulled back and just stared at each other. Neither found the right words to address what they felt. They didn’t address it for the rest of the night, or the next morning.

The weeks following the Ball were a mess of stolen glances and awkward silences. Both had acknowledged something stood between them now. Something they couldn’t explain with their fourteen-year-old brains. Something that would last forever if just given enough time to blossom on its own terms.

Then Ron accidentally spit out the Mandrake leaf, pushing his animagi turning a month back. Ron felt awful. He wanted to hurry up and become an animagi so he could help Lily out. The idea of everyone else being able to go with her on the next full moon and him staying behind sickened him. He felt useless.

So, Hermione spitting out her own leaf — obviously on purpose, even if she denied it — made Ron feel marginally better. He hugged her tightly and thought she was the kindest person in the world. Seeing her butt heads with Rita Skeeter mere moments later made her the boldest too. They had joked about Hermione becoming the Minister of Magic before and that exchange had made Ron truthfully believe it. Ron could make a whole list with what Hermione was and what she could be. He was never good at writing, but he didn't think he would ever run out of adjectives to describe Hermione's greatness.

The awkwardness didn't stop right away. It eased itself into intimacy through their fourth year. They would exchange presents on Valentine’s day but refuse to call it dating or going out or anything similar. Not yet. They did acknowledge it as something though. Ron had stopped looking at other girls. Not that he had before, but now he wouldn’t even think about it. It was a testament to that acknowledgement that when the article about Hermione and Draco dating came out, Ron barely felt any worry over it. Not even for a second. And not because Draco was gay, but because Hermione was his like he was hers. They might not be calling it dating yet, but it was a special bond nonetheless.

Ron could openly compliment her now and Hermione would do the same. It didn’t feel forced. Nothing felt forced with Hermione. Fourth year had been a mess of too many projects and dangers looming in every corner of the school but Ron still thought of it as his best year. Nothing could beat that fresh fluffy thing they had between them.

The rising of the Dark Lord sure brought things into perspective.

That summer, when Hermione came to stay at the Burrow for the foreseeable future, Ron stopped mincing his words. The imminent danger of a Muggleborn hunting had Ron officially asking her out.

It was the middle of July.

After dinner, Ron led Hermione to the attic and they climbed up to the roof.

Hermione looked at the edge with wide fear-stricken eyes.

It was endearing.

“This is dangerous.” She said, looking down at the wide expanse of forest surrounding the house.

“Oh, come on, it’s not like slaying a basilisk.” Ron chuckled. An ongoing joke since Theo took down the giant snake in their second year. Somehow, that was still the most dangerous thing any of them had done yet. Well, barring Draco facing off against You-Know-Who this year. It was way too soon to start joking about that though.

Ron had brought up a blanket and they sat down against the chimney and huddled up inside the knitted velvet blanket. The close proximity wasn’t foreign anymore. It happened a lot lately. Neither of them made a big deal out of it.

The chilly air made them cuddle up closer. Hermione let her head rest on Ron’s shoulder and entwined her fingers with his.

Now or never, Ron thought and let a chilly breath out.

“Hermione.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.” It could hardly be called a crush anymore. “I want to be with you. I want to be your… partner.”

A pause.

Hermione’s thumb stroked Ron’s hand gingerly, pushing him on.

“Whatever you are willing to give me,” he said, “I will take it in stride. If you want to stay friends, that’s okay too. But I can’t imagine living life without you. I want you to know that.”

Hermione shuffled up and with her hand pulled his chin towards her. She smiled.

Then she kissed him.

Still tender and kind but more passionate than the Yule Ball. And it didn’t stop at one kiss. They must have made out for hours. Soft words flew back and forth between the joining of their mouths. Words of love and trust and a shared life.

Ron was happy.

~~~

They didn’t immediately share their new status with their friends. Mostly because calling it ‘dating’ sounded too shallow for what they had.

For the most part, it didn’t change their everyday life. Even when they moved to Grimmauld for the rest of the summer, hiding their ‘thing’ wasn’t hard. Sometimes they would sneak off to an empty room and make out. That was the most of it.

Pet names and compliments flew with abandon though. Harry and Draco must have noticed. Any time they asked, Ron played it off as typical Slytherin sweet-talking. He didn’t know whether they believed them. Well, he would tell them eventually anyway.

Sneaking off on their own became much easier at Hogwarts. Especially thanks to their new prefect status. Ron hadn’t believed his eyes when he saw the letter but here he was chasing off wayward third years in the middle of the night.

And then, just before their shift was over, Ron would sneak off with Hermione to Myrtle’s bathroom and kiss the breath out of her.

It didn’t go further than that until the Quidditch tryouts though. Ron had been all nerves and trembles and merlin-knows what else. Hermione squeezed his hand before retiring to the stands and just that had him feeling better. How would he ever survive without her, he didn’t know.

So, when he made it in the team, he knew exactly who he had to thank for it.

He decided to do so during the party that followed the tryouts. Ron wanted to laugh at his Gryffindor siblings. They always boasted about how great Gryffindor parties were but he would bet all his meagre savings that Slytherins did it better. No judgment for once. All stuck-up wizards and witches would loosen up and party like deranged children. Not care in the world.

Ron and Hermione had broken off from Draco and Harry, and were dancing to the music until Hermione’s hand snuck under Ron’s shirt and the rest was history.

They didn’t go farther than handjobs and fingering but the connection had been established nonetheless.

They would laugh now looking back at that day. They had failed big time to hide their ‘whatever’ from Draco and Harry, who admitted to seeing them.

Hermione officially announced their relationship at the first SReM of the year. The reactions were expected and readily welcomed. Now, Hermione and Ron could openly be as lovey-dovey as they pleased. Well, abiding by Slytherin standards anyway. No way were they making out in the middle of the hallway like the excited lions and badgers. Slytherins had more tact than that.

They could openly flirt now though. Flirting-banter was always acceptable in the Slytherin house and Ron would have it no other way. The banter was much better than simple skin contact.

Not that skin contact didn’t rock.

Things escalated rather quickly after that. Well, quickly for them. It still took them almost the entire school year to fully sleep together but, hey, that just added to the suspense.

What they had was a school-time romance, one people usually grew out of. But not them.

~~~

Unlike Hermione who studied Wizarding Law right after Hogwarts, Ron didn’t know what he wanted to do in his life. Just that he wanted to be by Hermione's side.

He didn’t really need to work. Draco and Harry wouldn’t exactly let them leave the Manor so they already had a place to stay and Draco was all too happy to announce that the Malfoy fortune belonged to all seven of them. So, really, Ron didn’t have to work. But he had wanted to try a lot of different things. Hermione supported him in every step.

He tried working with Fred and George. He became Harry’s manager. He worked at a Wizarding Inn and even spent two months working at a bakery. He had met many people throughout his adult life. He would listen to them checking out other women during the day. Some were married but still looked and commented and Ron couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t understand how these people could so easily say ‘I would sleep with her’. Ron didn’t get it. He couldn’t imagine cheating on Hermione, for one. But also, how could you say you wanted to sleep with someone you don’t know?

He asked Harry about it one day. It was just the two of them. Hermione had been off working and Draco was visiting his mum to play with Orion.

“Maybe you should have this conversation with Theo.” Harry said, taking a sip of his tea.

“Theo?” Ron frowned. “You are telling me to talk to Theo about relationship stuff? Our Theo?”

“Just ask him, man.” Harry smirked. “He’s getting himself acquainted with Muggle terminology lately. You will be surprised.”

Ron asked Theo the next time he met him alone. Theo, all too eagerly, manifested magazines about something called ‘asexuality’ and Ron had the biggest shock of his life when he found out what other people thought about sex and sexual attraction.

“Welcome to my world.” Theo had chuckled. “Though in my case, whatever this is extends to romance.”

He sent Ron off with a magazine anyway. It didn’t make much difference in his day-to-day life but it felt good knowing this part about himself.

“Oh, I always wondered why you never commented when I wore more revealing clothes.” Hermione said when he told her. “But hey, that means there’s no way you would cheat on me so lucky me.”

“I wouldn’t cheat on you anyway.”

“Well, not now.” She grinned. “But what about when I’m old and grey and wrinkly?”

“You mean when you will have spent your entire life by my side making me the happiest man in the world?”

They made out after that. Ron had a word, but it didn’t change anything.

~~~

Ron stopped working when Rose was born. Hermione went back to work two months after giving birth and Ron officially became a househusband. Not that he minded it. He played with little Rosy the entire day and when Hermione came home, he pulled her in his arms and drowned her in kisses and sweet words.

Draco and Harry, who were less about kisses and more about teasing shoves and friendly banter, made fun of them. Ron didn’t begrudge them though. He knew they had different love languages.

Rosy was spoiled rotten. Having four parents and being the firstborn would do that to a child.

It was four years later that Harry started talking about having kids with Draco. In their case, just going off birth control wouldn’t make it happen. They made what had to be a million preparations as they meshed up Muggle technology with magic. Their sisters were all too happy with being foster mothers. Harry’s genes were meshed with Dora’s and Draco’s with Avril’s. They insisted on it being fair and square, whatever that meant.

Around the same time, Hermione — who had previously stated that they would only have one child — changed her mind.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if all three of them were the same age? Roaming the halls of Hogwarts together?”

Well, Ron wouldn’t say no. He loved taking care of Rose and more children meant twice the fun.

Ron spent the next years of his life mostly staying home and taking care of their four children. Because, in the end, it didn’t matter whose genes they had, they were all a big family. Much more snake-y than the burrow but a big family nonetheless.

He would take odd jobs from time to time, helping out relatives and friends. But he loved taking care of the kids more than any of that. He fondly remembered calling Theo the group’s mum. Well, Ron was next in line for the title it seemed.

“Look at you being a family man.” Ginny joked. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Ron could understand her surprise. He didn’t stick with the Weasley family as much as his siblings did. Mum made sure to complain about it.

He loved his parents and his siblings. He wouldn’t let anything happen to any of them.

But he wasn't blind. He could clearly see that their love language was different. Ron couldn’t use words to compliment his sister, his brothers or his parents. The Weasley love language was 'actions'. Ron’s was a ‘having your back’ and open hostility with humour and sarcasm.

So, Ron loved them but sucked at showing it. He didn't have that problem with his new family.

Draco wouldn’t think Ron had any ulterior intentions if he commented on Draco’s clothes or hair, unlike Ginny. Harry would know that Ron was teasing when he said that Harry flew like an ugly duckling that one time he messed up and fell off, unlike Fred. When Ron asked for some time alone, Hermione wouldn’t think he was angry at her, unlike Mum.

The Weasley house was loud, and busy and unorderly. It felt like home but Ron couldn’t take more than a couple of days in the chaos. The Malfoy Manor was enormous and each one of their little families had their own room. The elves had everything in order and with the space between them, silence was the norm.

Well, except when Draco came home and decided it was time for a new project. Then, they spend a good two or three weeks in absolute disorder and excitement and the glee of a small child. Throw Riddle’s two hours of control into the mix and the place was a right mess.

It felt like home.

So, Ron had two homes and loved both of them, but in the end, if he had to choose his lighthouse, that would be Hermione.

Hermione, with her absolute understanding and love and honesty. Long gone were the days they kept secrets from each other. One glance and the information had been passed on.

Holding Clover close to his chest, he watched Hermione dance with Rosie on her hip. Hermione’s short hair moved in harmony with her body and her smile lit the place up.

“Should we call Daddy to come dance with us?” Hermione said to their daughter.

Rose squealed happily, extending her arms towards him.

Ron rose up with Clover still in his arms and walked over to them.

“What are you thinking about, honey?” Hermione asked with a peck on his cheek.

“Oh, nothing much.” He grinned and moved along with the music. “Just how much I love you.”

“Oh? Is it Hufflepuff time today?”

“Maybe.” Ron laughed. “All Slytherins need their Hufflepuff, don’t they? And if I get to be yours, well, I am a happy man.”

Hermione smiled and joined her hand with his.

“Oh, but Ron Granger-Weasley, you are so much more.”

Ron leaned down for a kiss.

Tender and sweet and filled with love.

With how many schemes Draco had in mind, Ron didn’t know what the future would hold, but he knew one thing; he wasn’t letting go of his lighthouse.

Chapter Text

“This will be good practice for your hands.”

Bella let Theo put the Rubik’s cube on her open palm. She had learnt how to keep her artificial hands still last month but anything that required complex finger movement had her fumbling around and dropping anything she touched. This cube wouldn’t break even if she dropped it, Theo assured her. Theo had been surprisingly kind to her.

Having hands again came with many advantages, even if she hadn’t gotten used to them yet. She still didn’t regret losing them though. It had been a lesson long overdue. It taught her how weak she truly had been. Because no matter how much power she had gained with magic, she remained weak. Andy had given her the lesson she so gravely needed. No magic. No power. No way out.

Bella took the cube with her to the living room and made herself comfortable on the cosy sofa. Andy and Sirius had thrown the old expensive but impersonal sofa away. This one always had blankets on it and Bella pulled one over herself. Her eyes tracked the colours of the little squares on the cube and tried to come up with a strategy to get the thing untangled.

Theo smiled at her and went to find Orion. Theo, ever motherly, enjoyed playing with the child. Bella could fully understand him though.

Orion had brought light back to Bella's life. The child looked so much like Regulus, yet his behaviour resembled Sirius' more. He gave Severus headaches every day. Severus would acknowledge that he knew what he had signed up for when he decided to reproduce with a Black.

Bella dropped the cube and as Theo had promised, it didn't break. She picked it up and tried again. She had accepted her new reality. It had been fifteen years since she lost her hands after all. She would never pick up a wand again. Nobody would let her. They didn't trust her with one and she had to admit their mistrust was justified.

Sometimes, she would still dream of the Dark Lord coming to save her and make her his lieutenant once again. She still didn't know if she would follow him then. If all her lessons would be cast aside and she would run after him again, like an obsessed dog.

Andy could see her thoughts clear as day. They were sisters after all. So, she told her that the Dark Lord was dead, that Draco and his friends killed him. Bella cried herself to sleep that night. It made her hate herself.

Bella had lost Cissy because of the Dark Lord. Bella had killed for him. Bella had broken up her family because of him. Bella had destroyed her soul because of him.

And yet, she mourned his death.

Draco had warmed up to her faster than anyone. And it was this that made her believe she had a chance at redemption. Bella had taken his mother from him, she had taken his best friend's parents, and she had taken his dad. And yet Draco smiled at her.

He looked so much like Cissy, that it broke Bella's heart whenever she heard him laugh. Memories flooded her head and she tuned out reality to return to those days when everything was alright. When Bella had still been human. When there were people who loved her.

~~~

Bella had been five but she remembered the day clearly. Father had asked her to watch over a three-year-old Andy because he had to be with Mother in her room.

She could hear Mother's screams the entire time but Bella had a mission. Whenever Andy tried to stand up and troll up to their parents' room, Bella distracted her with another game or a tickle attack or anything she could think of. She was good at distracting Andy because her little sister looked at her like she had hung the stars. It was a bit funny, considering Andy got her name from a constellation.

When Mother's screams finally resided, another kind of scream rang through the house. A baby.

Bella gasped and stood up, dragging Andy with her all the way upstairs. Forget the mission. Bella needed to be there. She had to. It felt important.

Father didn't scold her for disobeying his order. He crouched down and let Bella get a glimpse inside the bundle of blankets he held.

Her new little sister. Mother had told her about it a few weeks ago and Bella had been ecstatic. She didn't remember when Andy was born; she was too young then. But Cissy's birth, she remembered as clear as day.

Cissy had stopped crying as soon as she heard Bella's voice. Her tiny hand fought to get out of the blankets and grabbed a tuft of Bella's dark hair. Bella let her play with it.

“Can I hold her?” Bella said.

Father gave her a lopsided smile and made her sit down on the floor with a pillow on her lap. He gently put the baby on the pillow.

“You need to be gentle, alright?” Father advised. “She's still very weak. She can't support her head so you have to keep one hand under her head at all times, alright?”

Bella bobbed her head and followed Father's advice.

The baby was so tiny and yet much heavier than Bella expected. She held onto it more securely.

Andy, who had gone up to check on their mother, came back and sat down next to Bella, peering down at the new addition to their family.

“Tiny.” Andy said.

Bella chuckled.

“You will love her more?”

Bella whipped her head to face her sister then. The question threw her off. See, she didn't think she would ever love anyone more than she loved Andy. But Cissy…

“I will love you both the same.” Bella said with newfound determination. “Because you are both my little sisters.”

Andy smiled and put her small arms around Bella and the baby.

Bella lowered the baby's body slowly to the pillow and held only her head a bit higher. So she had a free arm to sneak around her older little sister. She would make sure to always love them equally.

Andy didn't immediately like the baby but when she realised Bella wouldn't love her any less, she warmed up to their newest sister.

Cissy won them both over with her easy laughs and bright eyes.

Unlike Bella and Andy, who were fussy children, Cissy rarely cried. She only did so to communicate her hunger or her need to be changed and even then, her cries were short and on point. She had already figured out the best way to communicate at the tender age of two months.

Bella and Andy loved playing with her.

Soon, Andy stopped loving Bella the most. Andy's favourite person had become Cissy and Bella didn't mind it. It made sense. Besides, Andy still liked her just fine.

~~~

Sometimes, Bella wondered if Andy would love her like that again. If she could ever forgive her for what she had done.

Sometimes, Bella realised Draco loved her and she broke into tears. Sometimes, Draco would tell her Narcissa still loved her and Bella would be feeling bad enough about herself that she would believe him. It made no sense but sometimes, Draco would say stuff that only someone who knew how Cissy and Bella talked in their childhood could say. That couldn't possibly only be the genes, right?

Bella had voiced that thought once and Draco had given her a wide grin and a self-satisfied shrug.

It shocked her how much he looked like Cissy when he did that. Would she still have this if she had stood up to the Dark Lord? Would she still have her baby sister then?

Draco never judged her for all the choices she's made and that part reminded her of Cissy to the point it made her cry at night.

~~~

“Bella! You stole my brush again, didn't you!” Andy yelled from her room.

“I don't know what you're talking about, darling.” Bella said, Andy's brush still in her hand.

“Give it back.”

“No.” She sang and raced down the hallway, Andy close behind her.

“No fight.” Four-years-old Cissy said and both girls stopped in their tracks.

It didn't make sense that Cissy stopped their fights but she had always been capable of doing that. Bella and Andy were too much alike; headstrong and always ready for a fight. Cissy had a peaceful personality. Bella realised how headstrong her baby sister truthfully was much later. It never showed at that age. Cissy had been a flower blooming in the spring; beautiful, fair and gracious.

Bella was barely nine when she realised that Cissy would be the one to hold up this family in the end. Bella's mood did water loops and Andy would bring forth a rebellion the minute she was left to her own devices.

If Narcissa hadn't died, their little family would have stayed intact. Andy would have been welcomed back eventually, even unofficially. Cissy would have made sure of that.

But Cissy died and Bella ended up in prison and Andy was gone. It made sense that their parents couldn't hold on much longer.

~~~

Bella had perched herself in the red armchair. Sirius had brought it in a year ago, grumbling about the overdone amount of green in the place. He and Andy had a fight about it for days until Regulus finally picked a side. He chose to appease his brother instead of maintaining some kind of theme with the furniture.

Passing the Rubik’s cube from one hand to another, Bella kept her eyes closed, enjoying the silence. She was getting better at controlling her new hands but she still needed more practice so whenever sleep would evade her, she would spend the night training and eventually get tired enough to read a book.

She intended to do just that tonight, until she heard footsteps and opened her eyes.

“What are you doing awake at this hour?” Draco asked, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Just having a bad night.” Bella shrugged. “Thought I would read something.”

“Same here.” He flopped down to the green armchair with a movement so unlike Cissy, it immediately made Bella freeze.

Draco noticed and smiled in a way that brought out all the bad memories.

“It’s always nice to have some company.”

These mannerisms were familiar as well but not the soft kind of familiar. No, these mannerisms belonged to—

“You're probably the first to figure it out on your own.” Not-Draco said.

Her artificial fingers tightened on the cube and she gulped loudly.

“How—” She choked out, the words hard to dislodge from her throat.

He smiled and crossed his legs.

“Well, of course, they told you I died, didn’t they?” He shrugged.

His movements in Draco’s body made Bella’s skin crawl. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

“Draco is aware, of course.” He said, calmly. “We have an arrangement.”

It spoke volumes that Bella didn’t know how to call him anymore. Should she call him ‘her lord’ again? Voldemort? She came up short. She should have asked Andy about it. She didn’t even know if—

“At ease, Bella.” He chuckled. “I’m not here to order you around or, god forbid, recruit you to anything.” He held a thick magical tome up. “I’m here to read.”

Bella didn’t move. She might have well stopped breathing with how on edge she was.

He didn’t say anything else for a long time. He curled up in the armchair and read his book.

Bella waited for something to happen. Nothing did. Silence dominated the room. Only the turning of the pages made any sound in the room.

What felt like aeons later but couldn’t be more than a few hours, he closed his book and stood up.

“It’s been lovely seeing you again, Bella.” He smiled that sly smile of his. “But I’m afraid my time is up. Draco will be back in control in a few minutes. He is aware of our encounter though, so you can ask him all the questions you want tomorrow. I’m sure he will be more than happy to talk; he loves talking.”

“My— my lord, I am— I am not—”

“It’s ‘Riddle’ now, actually.” He rolled his eyes. “Draco insisted on that.”

Bella frowned. She hadn’t heard that name before.

He — Riddle — made an unspecified gesture and turned to leave.

“Good night, Bella.”

Bella stood shell-shocked in the silence. Her world had just gone through the wringer and she didn’t know where to start addressing the wrongness of the last couple of hours.

She didn’t have to.

Draco was back downstairs barely ten minutes later, a frantic expression on his face and breathing heavily like he had just run down the stairs. He probably had.

“Are you okay, Auntie?”

If Bella had any qualms about who was in control of the body in front of her, they disappeared as soon as Draco spoke.

Bella immediately relaxed against the armchair’s back.

“You weren’t supposed to know.” Draco chewed on his bottom lip. “I should have asked him to stay away from you.”

“What’s going on, Draco? I don’t understand.”

Draco gave her a pitying look before sitting down on the same armchair Riddle sat mere moments ago. The difference was stark. Draco sat on the armrest, for starters, his legs dangling down and his hands wrung together in front of his thighs. He looked troubled.

“You— You told me he died.” She gulped. “You told me you killed him.”

“I couldn’t kill him.” Draco’s eyes found hers. “Not without killing myself first.”

She frowned.

“The practicalities aren’t important. The gist of it is that there were reasons I couldn’t kill him, so I made a deal with him. He gets to use my body for a couple of hours every day and he gets to watch the world through my eyes. He won’t cause you any harm, Auntie. I promise.”

“How can you…” She shook her head in disbelief. “He killed Cissy.”

“I think that you know how forgiving I can be first-hand.” Draco chuckled. “Believe me, after inhabiting the same body as him for so long, I can safely say that he has some redeeming qualities.”

Bella just gaped. She didn’t know any other way to react. Draco spoke about Riddle like he was just another man, not the strongest—

“He is just a man, Bella.” Draco smiled. “Sorry for the light Legilimency, but I want to make sure I handle this the best way possible.”

“He’s not… He can’t be…”

“He’s a person, Bella. Just like you and me.” Draco leaned back. “I know it’s hard to accept, given that you idolised the man, but believe me. He’s not that much different where it counts.”

Bella nodded. She would need time to process this.

“Mum knows.” Draco said. “I told her a couple of years back. I will tell her you found out.”

“No.”

“Auntie…” Draco sighed. “Mum won’t judge you for any reaction you might have to this and she knows you much better than I do. She can help you deal with this better.”

Andy hated that Draco was right. Andy would help her come to terms with this but she would judge. Draco didn’t judge. He never did.

~~~

“It’s alright, Bella.” Cissy stroked her hair. “I promise.”

“There’s voices.” Bella croaked, tears soiling her cheeks. “They’re telling me to do things.”

“It will be alright.” Cissy repeated. “I will make it better.”

Bella shook her head. Cissy didn’t even have a wand yet. How would she ever fix this? It started a month ago. First, the voice only spoke at odd moments with only a few words. After a while though, the voice noticed that Bella heard her, and she changed her tone. Complaints and comments turned into orders to hurt. Bella had kept it a secret from everyone so far. She wouldn’t have bothered her baby sister with it either, but Cissy had always been awfully perceptive.

Cissy found her slicing up her thighs an hour ago and instead of screaming for their parents, she hugged Bella from behind and slowly negotiated the knife out of her hand.

Bella didn’t know where the knife was anymore. Cissy had hidden it somewhere. She had taken it and came back with clean towels and one of Father’s whiskey bottles.

Cissy made Bella raise her dress and doused her bloodied thighs with whiskey. It stung. Bella twitched violently but Cissy didn’t let her move. She pushed a clean towel against the wounded flesh and kept talking. Cissy was a master of talking. She had Bella calmed down in no time and only her tears remained.

A stream of ‘I’m sorry ’s left her mouth. Shame drowned her. How could she make her baby sister watch this? How could she—

“You’re alright now.” Cissy said, her small hands pushing Bella’s wild hair out of her face. “I will take care of you. I won’t tell anyone. It’s alright. It will be our secret.”

Bella nodded weakly. Cissy always had a way to persuade her.

Cissy had been eight. Bella had been thirteen.

True to her word, Cissy kept the secret.

If Bella hadn’t messed up when she had been sixteen… If Andy hadn’t seen her mess up… Then Bella knew no one else would have ever known.

Andy wasn’t like Cissy.

Andy told their parents right away.

The real mess started then.

Bella’s life became a living hell from that day forward. Father would try to torture the ‘madness’ out of her. Mother would cry and scream at her. Andy started ignoring her. When she deigned to look at her, Bella could only see pity in her eyes. She hated them.

Cissy never changed though. She would act like Bella was still normal. She would hug her goodnight and help her keep her unruly hair under control and she had always been there. Whenever Father or Mother did anything to her, Cissy would later pick up the pieces in the privacy of Bella’s room.

Bella had been hanging by a thread.

Then she graduated and the thread snapped in half. Cissy wasn’t there to pick up the pieces anymore.

Voldemort was.

~~~

Bella would have tried to avoid Andy the next day if it had been at all possible. It wasn’t. She and Andy practically lived in each other’s pockets in the last few years since the war. Just a year ago, Andy would even help Bella get dressed up. That, at least, had stopped when Bella managed to work her new hands properly. Andy still had to do buttons for her though.

That morning, Bella found Andy cooking omelettes with a frown. An outsider would think that the omelette had done something to personally wrong her, but Bella knew better.

“Andy…”

Her sister didn’t immediately turn to face her and Bella knew that Draco had told her already.

Bella waited for what she expected to be divine judgement in silence.

Andy chewed on her bottom lip and glared at the omelette with zeal.

“I’m sorry.” Bella choked out. “I’m sorry for failing you again.”

The hand holding the pan fell to her side and she turned away so Bella couldn’t see her face.

Bella had let her down again. Andy would throw her out again. And this time, Cissy wasn’t there to pick up the pieces.

“Bella.” Andy finally turned to face her.

Bella gulped. Moisture threatened Andy’s eyes.

“You never failed me.” Andy came closer, her hands on Bella’s shoulders. “I failed you. I thought I was helping but I just made matters worse.”

Bella shook her head. That was wrong. Bella had gotten sick all on her own. Andy had no responsibility.

“I regret it so much.” A hand reached out to Bella’s face and rubbed her cheek. “Believe me when I say this; if I could go back, I would change it all. I need you to know that.”

“I killed your husband.”

“No matter what you did and no matter what you do from now on, I’m never pushing you aside ever again.” Andy smiled. “You’re my big sister and I will die before failing you again.”

Bella could feel the tears running down her face now. A part of her brain screamed that this was a dream, that Andy couldn’t be saying these things.

But Bella wanted to believe her.

“I’m not letting Riddle take you away again. Or anyone else for that matter.”

“Did Draco put you up to this…?” It sounded too good to be true.

“Please.” Andy huffed. “Draco just told me about your encounter with Riddle. Well, tough luck, sister. I didn’t plan on letting him take you again anyway. And believe me, if he wasn’t inside my son, I would have made sure he stayed as far away from you as humanly possible.”

Bella chuckled and let her body lag against her sister’s.

Safe, her body purred.

~~~

“Madness?” Voldemort said thoughtfully. “What kind of madness?”

“Voices, sir.” Bella murmured. “Rumour has it you are the strongest wizard in existence. Can you make the voices go away, sir?”

“Sure.” Voldemort grinned. “But you will have to make it worth my time.”

“Anything.” Bella croaked. She would do anything. She had to fix this. If she could just fix this part of herself, she could go back to being their big sister. She could go back to being someone that could have their back.

Voldemort smiled slyly and before Bella had time to second-guess her choice, his Mark scarred her pale skin. It just joined the many scars Bella had put there on her own. It burnt, but the burn grounded her.

~~~

“Can I talk to him?”

It had taken Bella three months to settle her thoughts down enough to make up the determination to talk to Riddle. She knew she had to talk to him though. It wouldn’t be an absolution exactly, but Andy had agreed that it would help her. It would help her move forward.

Draco didn’t look surprised by her request.

“Are you sure?” He said solemnly. “I can’t take back control if he doesn’t do something that will outright harm you. I would be breaking the deal then, and that puts me at a disadvantage.”

“That’s alright.” Bella offered him a smile. “I need to do this.”

“I know.” Draco sighed but told her to come find him in the basement that night.

Bella didn’t know where all the confidence came from but it did and she would act on it. She needed to close this chapter in her life before it broke her completely. Before it made her lose her family again.

~~~

“What did you do, Bella?” Cissy held onto Bella’s forearm with a grip so tight, Bella would think her sister had a strength-enhancing spell on if she didn’t know any better.

Bella didn’t like the judgement in Cissy’s tone. She didn’t get to admonish her like that. Not when Bella did it all for her and Andy.

“My body, my choice.” She huffed and fought to pull her arm away.

Cissy didn’t let go. She glared and Bella could feel the light pull of Legilimency being used on her. Bella brought up her Occlumency shield in seconds. For once, refusing her talented mind-reading sister to find out exactly what went on in her mad mind.

“Let me see.” She bit out, whiny like never before. Let me help, Bella heard.

“No.” I’m fine. I have it handled.

“No.” No, you don’t. You’re hurting. Let me help.

Legilimency wasn’t always needed. Sometimes Cissy could just read her like this.

“I chose this, Cissy.” Bella said with a sigh, averting her eyes.

“Why?” Cissy looked ready to cry and Bella wanted to tell her everything and ask for forgiveness. She could never do much against Cissy’s puppy eyes.

So she refused to look at her.

“I will be fine.” She said in a steady voice. “Just concentrate on school.”

“Who cares about school? You’re my sister!”

“I’m fine! I can handle this. I’m not a child.”

“I never said you were.”

“Then shut up.” She yelled. “I’m an adult. I can choose for myself.”

Cissy punched her.

Bella sported a black eye for the entire Christmas break. It didn’t even hurt much. She had just been shocked to the core.

Little, timid and kind Cissy, punching her. And with such force…

Bella thought she had known all parts of her baby sister. Maybe she had been wrong.

~~~

Bella didn’t remember the basement having chairs in her childhood. Now, a great assortment of chairs surrounded a long table with many heavy tomes open on it.

Riddle had taken the wooden chair at the far corner of the table and browsed a book so old, its cover barely revealed its contents. The title had faded and age had frayed the pages. He put the book down when Bella drew closer.

“Draco told me you would be joining me tonight.”

Bella nodded stiffly and took a seat opposite Riddle. A good ten feet stood between them and Bella wondered if Riddle’s choice of seat was deliberate.

“Go on, then.” He leaned back. “I’m all ears.”

“You lied to me.” She had practised saying these words to him. “The voices never stopped.”

“They did become the least of your problems though, didn’t they?” He smiled. A smile disproportionate to Draco’s face.

“I served you well.” She said. “I did everything you asked of me.”

“Indeed you did, and I’m grateful for that, Bella.” His voice carried a speck of softness that she had never heard from him before.

“You never intended to fix me, did you?” She bit her lip and fought against the tears that threatened to fall.

“No.”

She wanted to laugh. She had been tricked, of course, she had been tricked. Riddle would never have taken the voices away. No, instead he fueled them, made them louder, made her follow them.

“I let my sister die.” She croaked. “I let you kill her.”

“A mistake I still regret.” Riddle huffed. “If I had known what killing her would set into motion…” He shook his head. “But I do not regret not ‘fixing’ you, Bella. That’s something I will never regret.”

She brought her hands down the hard surface of the table with a loud BANG. Her hands would have gotten bruises if they hadn’t been artificial.

“You destroyed my life!”

“No, I stopped you from destroying it.” Riddle didn’t move, even with Bella looming above him. He stayed seated, calmly, and looked at her as a father would a petulant child. “The madness is a gift, Bella. You wanted to throw it away.”

“A gift.” She snorted. “What part of it is a gift! It’s a bloody curse and I wanted it off. I took on your Mark, took on another curse just to have it gone, and you never even tried to—”

“I researched the Black Madness when the opportunity presented itself.” He looked up to the ceiling. “I had Regulus Black bring me a book on it. I suspect from this very library. I read it. I decided it was a gift.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me!”

“Don’t I?” He laughed. “You came to me for help. You asked for my guidance.”

“And you betrayed me. I was a vulnerable little girl and you used me.”

“That, I do not deny. But, Bella, you were exceptional. None of my Death Eaters had the power you had. The madness gave you strength.”

“It broke me.”

“Oh, my dear Bella, you have no idea what the Black madness really is, do you?” He looked at her with pity. “Nobody told you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Draco knows.” Riddle grinned. “Well, to be precise, he’s the only one who has it fully figured out. I am sure your other relatives are feeling it too. Andromeda included.”

“Andromeda is not mad.” The mere idea infuriated her. Andy had been her stone number one since the war. If Andy was sick too, then where did that leave her?

“You can be mad at me as much as you want but I’m not the one who hid this from you. I only learnt the whole truth when I merged with Draco.”

“You’re lying! You’re just trying to deceive me again.”

“It’s your ancestors.” Riddle said evenly. “The voices.”

“What?” Bella gaped, confused. No, that made no sense. Why would they—

“Your dead ancestors. So, if they happen to be cold-blooded murderers—” He made an indistinct gesture. “It’s hardly a surprise they made you hurt others and yourself.”

“Andromeda and I have the same ancestors. She’s not mad!”

“Oh, she deals with it better. You are just weak.”

Bella let a small ‘oh’ escape her. Somehow, her weakness being the reason for her demise made sense. Because no matter how powerful she became, her mind stayed weak and immature. Like a broken doll.

“Were those all the answers you were searching for?” Riddle let his face rest on his left palm. “If yes, I would like to get back to my reading before my time is up.”

Bella stood up but didn’t make a move to leave. Not yet. There was still something, just one thing. One thing she had to ask to finally let the drums roll on this chapter of her life.

“Why did Cissy join the Death Eaters?”

Now, Riddle looked mildly surprised, and then his bland face turned into a soft smile, one that made him look more like Draco and less like the Dark Lord.

“In her words; to make sure you stay alive.”

~~~

“Why are you here, Cissy?” The sight of her sweet baby sister in the middle of these murderous old men brought bile to Bella’s throat.

Bella had fit right in with the questionable crowd but her baby sister, barely of age, stood out like a sore thumb.

Cissy’s face remained a mask in front of them; a mask of calm and control. Bella wished her baby sister would just drop the mask and crumble in front of her. Just the tiniest show of discomfort and Bella would fight them all off to get her out.

The mask stayed on even when everyone else left.

“Lucius took the mark last month.” Cissy said with indifference. “I found it wise to join as well. You joined after all.”

“I joined because—” She cut herself off. She couldn’t admit her weakness. She couldn’t allow Cissy to carry this burden again.

“Because what, Bella?” Cissy held her gaze.

Bella wanted to crumble. She wanted to fall down on her knees, cling to Cissy’s slight frame and beg for forgiveness — for help.

She didn’t.

The anger stayed with her. She was always angry after that day. Angry at Lucius for bringing Narcissa to this place. Angry at herself for secretly enjoying having her sister close. Angry at every Death Eater that looked at Cissy with even an ounce of bad intentions.

She never found the strength to be angry at her baby sister though. She never could. Maybe she should have. She should have put her foot down. She should have taken Cissy and run away, just the two of them.

She didn’t.

Not a day passed by that she didn’t regret that.

~~~

Andy lay awake on her bed — their bed. Andy had insisted they sleep together. It brought back memories of their childhood when all three of them would sneak into Bella's or Andy’s room and throw slumber parties away from the prying eyes of their parents.

“How did it go?” Andy asked as Bella took her place on the bed and fell back so she rested against the headrest.

Andy sat up and watched her with a soft look which she had undoubtedly adopted from her late husband. Bella hated that she had never gotten to know the man who kept her little sister sane. Especially now that she knew about the madness. Andy had found her anchor and Ted Tonks had kept her sane.

Bella would think it inevitable that she became what she did if she didn’t have an anchor. She would have accepted it. But Bella had an anchor and she had pushed her away. It was all her fault. Cissy would have gladly been her anchor but Bella had been too weak to accept that.

Andy draped an arm around her shoulders and leaned against her so the sides of their heads would meet.

“I’m here.”

“I’m sorry.” Bella let her head rest against the crook of Andy’s neck. She wanted to hide there, crawl inside and beg for forgiveness.

Andy’s hand stroked her curly hair, fingers fighting off tangles that inevitably emerged.

“I would offer to skin Riddle apart but… well, he’s wearing my son so…”

Unwillingly, Bella let a chuckle escape her mouth. She pulled back just a bit and stared at Andy’s face. Andy had never been shy about letting her mask drop around Bella and she could easily see the fire burning in her little sister’s eyes. Bella did not doubt that she would have fought off Riddle all on her lonesome if she could do so without hurting Draco.

It was the farthest thing from Cissy’s calm face but behind it laid the same kind of intense familial love and Bella froze.

Cissy was gone. Cissy had tried to be her anchor so much. She had fought tooth and nail, but Bella had pushed her away. And here was Andy ready to fight the world to make Bella feel better.

It occurred to her that Andy brought her back from the madness. She brought her back and she was here, fighting this inner war with her.

And suddenly, Bella wasn't afraid anymore. Riddle had given her the answer. She had been weak. Not because she couldn't manage her illness, no. She had been weak because she had refused to let herself be vulnerable. She refused to allow her loved ones to help.

She wouldn't make the same mistake again.

~~~

Bella only stumbled upon Riddle once after that day but she didn’t acknowledge him. She didn’t react to his taunts or confusing words. Bella had her anchor now.

Sometimes, she found herself laughing. How she had believed that Riddle could have saved her… How she had believed she could be fixed. She couldn’t. Some things aren’t meant to be fixed.

Bella wasn’t broken. She was different and life was hard sometimes but she had people who loved her and she knew they would help.

And if everything else failed and Bella messed up again, she knew Andy would gladly punch her in the face. And this time, Bella would take it for what it is: a warning and a declaration of love in its purest animalistic essence. She ignored Cissy’s punch, she wouldn’t ignore Andy’s. She knew better now.

She spent years thinking about how she could ever repay her sister. It took her a while to realise that she was already repaying her throughout the years.

Andy needed a new anchor too after all.

Chapter Text

Hermione never fit in, not even in kindergarten. The other kids always found some way to pick her out, her hair, her chubbiness, her knowledge, her manner of speaking.

She lost her baby fat before grade school and she fixed her speech. No more info-dumping and no more talking at the speed of light. Her knowledge, she couldn’t really help. She was a sponge, eager to absorb any information she could. She tried to tone it down when she was amongst other kids.

Boys were easy to fool. They never picked up on her biting her lip or clenching her fists to stop herself from talking too much. The girls were more observant. They would see her as dishonest and hard to approach, even if Hermione didn’t want anything more than to be their friend.

Her Hogwarts letter explained some abnormalities in her life, like the accidental magic, but not all. She was a bubble of energy when she stepped on that train. She had to make friends fast, before everyone paired off and she remained the odd one out forever.

Expectedly, her first friend was a boy. Boys were always easier to mingle with and Draco was a delight all around. And he liked to talk.

Hermione would match him word for word and Draco wouldn’t roll his eyes or tell her to stop or make subtle movements to show her he was bored. No, Draco listened, and replied with enthusiasm and Hermione felt safe in the knowledge that she could be herself around him.

After such acceptance, of course, she followed him to the Slytherin house. She had finally found a friend. Not to mention, someone she immediately felt at home with. She didn’t want to seem clingy but she couldn’t help it.

The hat wanted to put her in Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor. Hermione didn’t care for either. She only wanted Draco.

“Hey, seems like we are housemates.” She said as she approached the Slytherin table, timidly making her way towards Draco. “Had to persuade the hat though. Like being a muggle-born is going to stop me from being with my first friend.” The words were out of her mouth before she could filter them.

“I am your first friend?”

“Kind of…?” She flushed and wanted to whack herself in the head with a bat. “Sorry, that must be creepy.” She added quickly, determined to avoid Draco’s eyes even as she sat down next to him. She was going through a metaphorical self-blaming session when she felt Draco hug her.

“Not at all.” Draco reassured her. “It is an honour. I also don’t have many friends so don’t worry too much about it.”

And Hermione knew people lied and said dishonest things to seem polite sometimes but Draco hugged her. Words can be fake, but she had learned that going out of your way to hug someone wasn’t a device to seem polite. This was genuine.

She had found a real friend in Draco and she wasn’t letting him go.

~~~

“Draco, Draco, Draco!” Hermione ran through the manor.

“Yes?” Draco was standing in the middle of his room, probably practising his lines.

“You need to see this.” She laid down the book on Draco’s bed and flipped through the pages until she found what she was searching for. “Here.”

Draco aborted whatever he was doing and joined her on the bed, leaning in to read the contents of the book.

“No way.” Draco’s eyes widened comically and Hermione knew she had done a good job finding the spell. “This will shut down the Ministry surveillance.”

Hermione bobbed her head in assent.

Draco had been very secretive about his plan to bring down the Statue of Secrecy. He had told Hermione about it but even she didn’t know all the details. Well, whatever he planned to do, making sure the Ministry malfunctioned at the moment could only be beneficial.

“I can perform the spell but…” Draco took the book and laid back on the bed, reading it. “The range has to be specified. We need an inside man to lay down the legwork. Maybe I can ask Bea to—”

Hermione cleared her throat.

Draco turned to look at her, raising a brow.

“Minister of Magic here?” Hermione grinned. “Does that ring a bell?”

“You can’t risk it, King.” Draco sat up in alarm. “Everyone knows you. You can’t do anything in secret inside the Ministry.”

“It will be fine, Racer.” She rolled her eyes. Draco could be such a worrywart. “No one will notice and if someone does, well, I can join you on your quest to abolish the Statue of Secrecy.”

Draco chewed on his lip, hesitating. That habit of his never went away.

“You still think I should do this…?” Draco spoke to the room at large, like it would answer him.

“I don’t know if you should do this.” She stroked his hair. “But I know for a fact that you can do it if you want to. It’s all a matter of want for you.”

“I might destroy the world.”

“Well, you’ve saved it before. I’m sure you can even the odds.”

“I might start another war.”

“We already survived one. What’s another one, right?”

Draco pulled her in a hug and snuggled his face against her shoulder.

“With this spell, I have all I need to start it.”

“Whether you start it or not, Dray, I will be at your side, cheering you on.”

“What would I do without you?” He pulled back, a lopsided smile in place.

“Probably die, but I’m not going anywhere so you are safe.”

She had decided she wouldn’t let Draco all those years ago and she wouldn’t change her mind now. No, she wasn’t letting go, even if Draco became the next Dark Lord.

~~~

She didn’t get along with the girls in her dorm. She liked to think the reason for that was just her Muggle heritage and not her personality.

The thought didn’t hold.

Greg and Vincent — equally pureblooded as Pansy, Daphne and Millicent — didn’t hate her as much. Sure, they didn’t go out of their way to talk with Hermione but they didn’t outright ignore her either.

So it was just the girls hating her again. She gave up on trying to fix it. She had tried so hard to fit in and yet it never worked with girls.

When Draco asked about it, she said it was because of her heritage. She didn’t want Draco to know how weird she was around other people.

Unlike her, Draco had other friends, like Neville, Ron and Theodore Nott. Hermione didn’t let herself go at it with the info-dumping like she did with Draco. She had to put in some effort to make them like her.

Neville accepted her immediately. Even when Hermione slipped up and talked too much, Neville didn’t reprimand her, just listened to her with ardent attention. Maybe he was used to it. Draco talked more than her after all.

~~~

“Is Draco around?” Neville didn’t need to ask for permission to enter the manor. The door was always open for him, Theo and Lily, even if they didn’t live there.

“I think he has an audition.” Hermione put Clover down on his high chair and moved to tidy up her books. “You can wait for him here if you have the leeway. How about a game of scrabble?”

“Muggle games, Hermione?” Neville chuckled but took a seat. “I thought you were above that.”

“The boys like playing it. Rose joins them all the time.” She rolled her eyes and looked fondly at Clover, who moved his toy car back and forth in the air. “And the little ones seem eager to join in. I am afraid I will have to go back to my Muggle origins.”

“At least you don’t live with Theo.” Neville laughed and started setting up the board. “We do everything the Muggle way. We spent six hours playing Monopoly last weekend.”

“I have Monopoly if you prefer that.” Hermione said fondly.

“Merlin, no. I’m fed up with that game. Scrabble is more than fine.” He set down his pieces for the first word and they fell into easy conversation after that.

~~~

Theo didn’t talk to her at first. He tried his best to avoid her.

This time, however, Hermione could tell it was because of the Muggleborn thing. She didn’t begrudge him. She felt some kinship with him, fighting to fit in and be accepted. She genuinely wanted to be his friend. She knew they would get along nicely as soon as they got over the whole pureblood propaganda thing.

A near-expulsion adventure later and an encounter with a three-headed dog warmed Theo up to her. He stopped ignoring her after that.

~~~

“Theo? Can you help me with some translations?” Hermione was sitting in her office in the Ministry. Theo had come to visit allegedly to pass on some documents regarding Hogwarts.

“What are you translating?” Not missing a beat, he pulled a chair next to Hermione’s and looked over the papers in Hermione’s hands. “Ancient runes? What are you trying to do with ancient runes?”

“Draco gave me homework.” She chuckled. “Ready to get back to decoding?”

“Draco always gives us homework, doesn’t he?”

“At least he’s not a teacher. The poor students would be getting unrelated homework every week.”

“He would also have them sneak around and get in trouble.” Theo laughed as he picked up a paper. “Thank Godric, I don’t have to deal with that at Hogwarts.”

“How’s Hogwarts?”

“Lily is whining about the rising amount of injured students and Neville had two students spraying each other with their potions during his lesson last week. Children are wild these days.”

“Wilder than us?”

“Yeah, no... We were a nightmare.”

They spent the next few hours translating the spell and occasionally chatting about nonconsensual things. Hermione had grown to love ‘studying’ with Theo.

~~~

Ron was the hardest one.

Hermione could feel his hostility from a mile away. She didn’t know what she had done to make him hate her so much. Sure, she was a stickler to the rules but that was because they were rules. They had to follow them.

This time, it took a troll attack to make Ron like her. She almost died, sure, but she got something out of that encounter.

~~~

“Kitty, any chance you can look after Clover today?” Ron entered Hermione’s office with Clover on his hip. “Mum asked me to help her with Spring cleaning.”

“I don’t know why she refuses to accept one of our house elves for help.” Hermione opened her arms so Ron could hand over Clover. Her little boy had gotten so big lately.

“What are you working on?” Ron leaned over the pile of scattered scrolls. “None of this looks official enough to be for the Ministry.”

“Homework from Draco.”

“What is he up to now?”

“What he’s always up to; mayhem.”

Hermione would fight as many trolls as it took to hold onto the man she married. She wouldn’t change their relationship for anything.

~~~

Harry came next and he came easily.

He was around at the troll attack so that might have helped.

Harry was the first one to become Hermione’s friend first, before becoming Draco’s.

~~~

“Someone was noisy last night.” Hermione stated as soon as Harry entered the kitchen.

“What?” The blush on his face spoke volumes and Hermione enjoyed getting a rise out of him.

“Draco is pretty vocal.”

“He’s always vocal.” Harry grunted. “Can we at least keep our bed lives separate?”

“With how intertwined our lives are? I doubt it.”

It was a mutual teasing point too. Hermione would tease Harry and Draco would tease Ron. Hermione and Draco would gossip about it. Harry and Ron would soothe each other from the teasings. Fun times.

Hermione had people mistaking Harry or Draco for her husband many times. They couldn’t wrap their heads around the special relationship the four of them had. Hermione knew their little family of eight (counting the kids) was abnormal but she didn’t mind one bit. She wouldn’t change them for the world.

~~~

She only picked up on the fact they were all boys when her parents asked her about it during Christmas.

The only girl who didn’t actively avoid or hate her was Lily Moon, so that was the name she told her parents. She didn’t like lying to them but they looked worried. It couldn’t hurt anyone anyway. Her parents would never meet Lily anyway.

It wasn’t a complete lie either. Lily had more or less joined their wayward group by now. She spent a great deal of time with her. She wasn’t Hermione’s best friend — which is what she told her parents — by any means but Hermione did spend time with Lily so it had to be okay.

After Christmas, it stopped being a lie. Hermione and Lily didn’t spend much time alone but they spent a great deal of time together while with the boys. It was nice. Hermione had her first girl-friend and she couldn’t be happier.

The whole dragon business strengthened their friendship even more.

By the time second year rolled around, Hermione and Lily were tight-knit and inseparable. They still spent most of their time with the boys but sometimes, they would hang out, just the two of them. Soon, Hermione realised Lily didn’t mind her speaking too much or too fast. Unlike Draco, Lily didn’t speak a mile a minute but she loved listening. So, Hermione felt comfortable talking to her.

~~~

“What did those boys do to you now, Kitty? You look sleep-deprived.”

Lily didn’t visit as often as Neville and Theo. Work usually kept her away. Hogwarts couldn’t stay without their head nurse for long. But whenever she could spare some time, she always came to visit them. Especially after her father died, Lily hadn’t bothered spending her days off anywhere but at the manor.

“Draco has me doing homework.” Hermione sipped at her coffee and asked the elves to make Lily some too.

“Oh, right. Theo mentioned something.” Lily took a seat in the chair facing Hermione’s desk. “What is our leader up to now?”

“Overtaking the world.”

“Oh?” Lily curled her fingers around the coffee cup and took a sip. “Shall I get ready for another war?”

“Might as well do that.” Hermione chuckled. “Let’s see how much chaos he can cause now, shall we?”

Yeah. Lily was her confidant, her best friend.

Hermione had fought tooth and nail about giving werewolves their rights just for her. And she would do it again in a heartbeat. The next person who came to Lily about her condition… Hermione would have their head.

~~~

She didn’t know how to speak to Ginny and Avril at first. Her tone turned condescending without her permission and she could see the girls hating it, especially Ginny. So she kept her distance. She didn’t want them to hate her and she couldn’t risk saying the wrong thing, not if she wanted to keep being friends with their brothers.

She regretted the choice when she learned that Avril had been acting as the heir of Slytherin. If she had been closer, she would have noticed.

She made the extra effort to engage with them more the next year. She also kept a closer eye on Iris. Surprisingly, Iris didn’t get annoyed with Hermione’s personality. She took anything Hermione said in stride. They weren’t friends by any stretch but Hermione had found the right way to talk to them. Astoria, Iris’ friend, made everything easier. Astoria had grown up in a pureblood family and as long as Hermione followed the social norms laid out by the purebloods — which she had asked Theo to teach her — interacting with Astoria was easy.

~~~

“Avril and Sandie are fighting again.” Iris announced, lounging on the manor’s sofa. “The whole adoption thing has them on edge.”

“It’s crazy how there’s no spell for changing one’s sex.” Hermione said thoughtfully. “If Sandie could just have the body he was meant to…”

“Yeah, crazy.” Iris said thoughtfully. “Hey, how about you come up with one? Maybe Dora could help too? They can change their gender.”

“But they are a metamorphmagus. I don’t know how to recreate that effect on a normal wizard.”

“Well, maybe it’s time for FES to come together and figure it out, no?”

“It’s adorable how much you want to help your sister.” Hermione smiled.

Iris huffed and turned her head to the side but Hermione could see the red tainting her ears.

“I don’t know about FES, but I will get the Circus Defenders on Sandie’s case. I’m sure Draco can figure something out.”

“Good.” Iris nodded. “And anything you need, I’m here.”

“Speaking of… how is it going with Zabini?”

“He’s an asshole.” Iris scrunched her face up.

“I thought you two were moving towards a wedding?”

“Sure. When all hell freezes over.”

“What did he do now?”

“Misgendered Sandie.”

“Oh. Big crime there, okay. I see your point.” Hermione had been just as surprised as everyone else when word came that Iris and Zabini were dating. They had met at Pansy and Astoria’s wedding and had started a bizarre mating ritual that Hermione couldn’t even begin to understand.

She wanted to tell Iris to dump him and she had done so the first ten times they had a fight. She didn’t do so on the eleventh time. She knew that Iris wouldn’t let him go. Not to mention, Zabini came out of each fight a better person. Hermione had noticed the pattern. After this fight ended, Zabini wouldn’t dare misgender anyone ever again.

“But don’t worry.” Iris said, all confidence. “I will make sure he never makes that mistake again.”

Sometimes, Hermione wondered what took place behind closed doors, but she didn’t dare ask. That was theirs to deal with.

“Any news on Astoria?” Hermione asked instead.

“She and Pansy are on a trip. I think to Sweden? Astoria sent me photographs of Pansy with maybe ten coats on her slight frame.”

“That sounds like Pansy.” She chuckled. “Ginny is also dragging Luna all around for her Quidditch matches.”

“Oh, sweet Luna.” Iris smiled fondly. “Why couldn’t I get a partner like her? She’s just the best.”

“That she is.” Hermione smiled.

Neither of the girls became Hermione’s confidant. She would never tell them secrets of the Circus, but she trusted them nonetheless. She enjoyed their company.

~~~

The pureblood social norms Theo taught her, worked like a charm with Daphne and Millicent the next year. Pansy still acted all tough and mighty but Hermione knew that Pansy didn’t hate her anymore. Pansy had changed, Theo had said as much.

If there was any tension between Pansy and her, it all faded away by the time fifth year rolled around and Pansy joined the Quidditch team along with the other girls. Hermione had found her place in Slytherin and she wanted to shove that piece of information in the Sorting Hat’s face.

~~~

“I can’t believe I let Astoria drag me to Sweden.” Pansy whined. “I’m never going that up north again.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Pansy, but if my little sister wants to take you somewhere, she will find a way to do it.” Daphne grinned.

“I think I can safely say I have the easiest partner.” Millicent cut in. “Greg is content just spending time with Vince and eating.”

“Didn’t he drag you to Rome to try the food last year?” Hermione asked, putting the tray with the tea down on the kitchen table. She had invited all three of them to come visit in an attempt to recreate their late-night talks in the Slytherin dorms.

“That was Vince’s idea.” Millicent sighed. “It feels like I’ve married both of them sometimes.”

“Buy one, get one bonus?” Daphne giggled.

“That’s still alright. Hermione here has it worse.” Pansy shoved her lightly. “She bought one and got two as a bonus. Or five, if you count the lions.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Hermione knew there was no bite to their words, just good-natured teasing.

“Yeah, me neither.” Millicent smiled. “That one year Vince was gone? Greg was a wreck. He’s so happy now. Those two are just joined at the hip.”

“Vince is still single?” Pansy asked.

“He’s looking around.” Millicent shrugged. “I don’t think he cares much about it.”

“And then we have our token single in the group.” Pansy tilted her head towards Daphne.

“Every group needs their token single.” Daphne said, smiling.

“Except Hermione’s circus, of course.” Millicent laughed. “You guys just paired off in groups without leaving anyone out after all.”

“We’re cool like that.” Hermione grinned.

~~~

And then, there was Luna.

Draco had mentioned her before but Hermione first met her on the Hogwarts Express at the start of her fifth year. Hermione didn’t think much of her at first.

Her mind concentrated more on her upcoming prefect career. She hadn’t shared with any of her friends how nervous her new duties made her. She had a vague idea of a prefect’s duties but there was no book written about it. She made a beeline for Professor Snape’s office on the first day of term to ask him in detail what she had to do and how she had to act. It helped that Ron was right there with her the whole time. If something that wasn’t black-or-white happened, she let Ron take over the situation. She loved that tiny piece of support.

But back to Luna.

Hermione’s first real interaction with her was during the formation of the Frog Extermination Squad. Hermione remembered that conversation clearly. It had changed her worldview.

“Well, that makes sense. After all, Cornelius Fudge has got his own private army.” Luna had said, in response to Lee Jordan speaking of the Ministry’s false idea that an army led by Dumbledore existed at Hogwarts.

“What?” Harry had said.

“Yes, he’s got an army of heliopaths.” Luna hadn't even batted an eye saying that.

“No, he hasn’t.” Hermione had snapped.

“Yes, he has.” Luna had insisted.

“What are heliopaths?” Neville had asked.

“They’re spirits of fire.” Luna had said. “Great tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of—”

“They don’t exist, Neville.” Hermione had cut her off.

“Oh yes, they do!” Luna had said angrily.

Hermione would have kept the argument going if Draco hadn’t intervened. The idea of something as stupid as heliopaths existing had made Hermione furious. Later, she would realise her thinking was too rigid. Humoring Luna’s wild imagination was beyond her back then.

"Just because there's no proof, it doesn't mean something doesn't exist, right? Let us not forget. Muggles have no proof we exist, but we exist all the same. It's not nice to shut down people's opinions like that, Mione." Draco’s words from that day had stayed with her. She only half-followed the rest of the discussion. The words repeated in her brain.

Draco had been right of course, as he so usually was.

Hermione could blame her outburst on the tiredness of that day but she knew the blame fell on a more fundamental part of her personality.

She had finally identified it; a reason she struggled to make friends.

Her rigidness. Her unrelenting belief that only one single truth stood behind the whole universe.

She sought out Luna after the meeting. Because she had to make amends. She wanted to thank Luna for what she had made Hermione realise but she didn’t have the right words for that yet.

“I am really sorry.” They stood alone, away from the others and Hermione expected with bated breath for some kind of backlash from Luna. “I have a hard time accepting different truths than my own.”

“Oh.” Luna smiled at her. A smile that Hermione would soon become deeply acquainted with. “That is alright. I don’t mind.”

“No, I was dismissing your truth.” Hermione said. “I’ve had many people dismiss my truth before and it never stopped hurting. I can’t go around doing to people what I know hurts so much.”

“You are a very kind person, Hermione.” Luna smiled kindly. “No one’s apologised to me about this before. Thank you.”

Hermione had seen the truth though and from that day forward, she didn’t let anyone dismiss Luna’s crazy ideas ever again.

It still took her years to return the words of thanks to Luna.

~~~

“Nargles are still attached to Draco.”

Luna took a sip of her tea. She had come to visit at the manor.

Hermione had pulled out a couple of comfortable chairs and the two girls admired the large garden while enjoying their tea.

“Are they now?” Hermione, long acquainted with Luna’s antics by now, frowned in concern. “Like, a lot of Nargles?”

“Hmm… Not an overwhelming amount but something is definitely bothering him.”

“Alright. I will make sure it’s nothing serious then.” Hermione smiled. She had a pretty good idea what the Nargles were really about; Draco’s war-starting plan.

“You know what’s up already, don’t you?” Luna said with a lopsided smile. “What is my dear friend cooking up now?”

Hermione chuckled. Luna was as insightful as ever.

“I am not supposed to tell…” Hermione dragged each word out slowly. “...but.”

Luna’s face lit up and she leaned over the empty space between the chairs so Hermione could easily whisper the ‘secret’ to her.

They say that sharing a secret with a sibling doesn’t count anyway. And despite all the many friends Hermione had made since meeting Draco, none had managed to wrench open a hole in her heart and make it their home like Luna had.

Luna laughed giddily when Hermione finished her narration.

“So, our good old leader of FES is back to creating trouble.” Luna giggled. “And of war-world dimensions too.”

“Did you expect any less from him?” Hermione shrugged.

“You better include me in that little revolution of yours then.” Luna batted her lashes slowly. “You will, won’t you, oh big sister of mine?”

“I wouldn’t let you miss it for the world.”

Calling each other ‘sister’ had started with Hermione when she first reunited with Luna during the war. The word had slipped out without Hermione’s permission and Luna had admitted she loved the idea of having a big sister a few months later.

It was mostly official now. People called Luna the Minister’s little sister and Hermione was listed as Luna’s emergency contact at St Mungo's.

~~~

Since bonding with Luna, Hermione found it easier to make friends. It didn’t matter that she was different or that she didn’t fit in. In the end, the only thing she had to do was accept everyone just as they were and sooner or later, they would accept her in return.

It didn’t work for everyone. It didn’t have to work for everyone. It just had to work for the people whom Hermione valued.

And for those people, it worked.

It always worked.

~~~

“So you are doing it tomorrow?”

“I don’t think the timing is going to get any better so…” Draco shrugged.

“How does it feel to start a war?”

“Nerve-wracking.” Draco turned to face Hermione. “It helps that you are here though.”

Hermione smiled and pulled him into a hug.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, Racer.” She said softly. “So, for as long as you will have me, I will be right there, cheering you on. In whatever mess you are planning to throw yourself into.”

Draco snorted.

“Because I want you to prove it to everyone.” Hermione pulled back and smiled. “I want them all to see that we are no fairytale. I want them to know just as much as you do.”

“You will have to pick up the pieces, you know.” Draco said. “As the Minister.”

“Scatter them as far and wide as you want.” Hermione grinned. “I always like a challenge.”

Chapter Text

Draco didn’t show Riddle the way to the hidden tower. Riddle found it on his own.

About two years after he took residence in Draco’s body, Riddle stumbled upon his and Abraxas’ code under the inscription of the ‘Dark Arts’ section in the library.

“Fireplace.” He read out loud in the safety of the night. He always used his two hours in control when Draco slept at night. He would spend them in the library, either at the Manor or at Grimmauld. He hadn’t noticed the word before.

He followed the code and found the Silver plaque inside the fireplace.

“Glass. Box. Knife. Aisle 38.”

He wouldn’t follow them if they weren’t in Abraxas’ code. He remembered coming up with that code in his teenage years.

Abraxas’ father had forced him to learn Modern Greek for no particular reason than the fancy of an old man. Abraxas had complained for hours about it. He stopped complaining when Riddle offered to learn with him.

It became their secret language.

They spent hours chatting in Greek in the Slytherin common room. They could discuss their secrets without any worry of anyone listening in.

The written code came a few years later, in their fifth year. They started their research then. A simple concealing charm wouldn’t work. So they had to code the entire thing. It took a while to work it out nicely, to be able to write fast enough.

The method was simple; write the English words and then write the Greek words on top, trying to mesh the letters to make it more confusing. But it stopped being just that after a while. The Greek behind the English held other meanings sometimes.

Like right now. Under the English on the fireplace, stood the Greek word “ο πύργος των ονείρων μας”, which translated to “the tower of our dreams”. Riddle immediately recognised the meaning of those words. He knew what tower Ab talked of. The tower where he did his research, the tower where they broke any taboo they could think of away from prying eyes and judgment.

Riddle followed the instructions and soon found himself in the tower. He had never climbed the tower like this. Ab had always side-alonged him there. But he had been to that tower more times than he could count. Ab would let him stay for weeks on end during summer. He usually didn’t even tell his parents. He stole food and brought it upstairs. Some of the happiest memories of Riddle’s life had taken place in this tower.

The wall of messages stood intact in the bedroom over Ab’s laboratory. Riddle traced the last message with his fingers.

“Will be back in the morning, Ab.”

There was no reply. After all, Riddle had never come back. Not until today.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered to the wall. “It’s too late now, isn’t it?”

Riddle had set out to kill Draco that night, Ab’s own grandson. He hadn’t betrayed Ab’s trust, however. Tom had left the manor that night as he always left that tower and returned as Voldemort.

Abraxas had a business dinner that night. Voldemort had planned it so on purpose. He didn’t want Abraxas to be there to witness the death of his grandson. Somehow, it never crossed Riddle’s mind that Abraxas might loathe or hate him for it. Ab had proven himself as a loyal follower no matter what atrocity Riddle committed.

Only now, in Draco’s body, living Draco’s life, could Riddle see that Ab had never been a follower. He had been a friend.

Riddle had been unfair to him. Riddle had been an awful friend, but Ab stayed.

“You could talk to his portrait.” Draco said.

“Why are you awake?” Riddle asked, annoyance evident in his tone.

“Your thoughts are too loud.”

Riddle rolled his eyes.

“So? Any chance you will tell me what was up with this room?”

Riddle let his eyes take in the previous messages on the wall.

“What wasn’t up with this room.”

~~~

“Tom, come on.” Ab whined. “You know I hate it when you move my stuff.”

“I needed space for my books.” Tom stuck his tongue out.

“And you couldn’t find space anywhere else? It had to be where I am mixing up my improved love potion?” Ab crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Tom.

“Why are you even making a love potion?” Tom didn’t take his eyes off the ‘Curses of the Old' book Ab had gotten him from the Malfoy library.

“Because, unlike popular belief, nobody has ever made a successful love potion.” Ab looked proud of his claim.

“Sorry to burst your bubble but love potions are being sold at every corner.” Tom looked at him fondly. He always enjoyed watching Ab meddle with childish shenanigans.

“Not real love potions.” Ab huffed. “Those just make you attracted or infatuated or outright obsessed with someone. I’m gonna make one that causes true love in its purest form.”

“You will never stop being a romantic, will you?” Tom chuckled. “True love is a fairy tale. You are old enough to grow out of it, no?”

“We are still fourteen. How could you possibly be over it already?”

“Why would I not be?”

“Because fourteen is the high of adolescents?”

“Adolescents is a myth for spoiled children.”

Ab fell silent after that.

When Tom looked at him to figure out what happened, he found a frown on his face.

“What?” Tom said.

“Do you seriously believe that?” Ab made a strange expression.

“Yeah?” Tom didn’t like it when easy-going Ab turned so serious. It had happened twice before and it always made Tom’s heart lurch.

Ab stared at him for a few more minutes in silence, then turned back to the love potion.

“I guess I just have to make sure you become a spoiled child yourself.” Ab murmured.

Tom didn’t reply. He couldn’t understand what Ab meant or intended. He never did.

~~~

“Ugly bitch.” Tom stroked Ab’s hair.

“She’s not ugly.” Ab protested.

“Don’t defend her. She hurt you.” And Tom would have hunted her down if Ab hadn’t stopped him. Nobody was allowed to hurt Ab. Nobody except Tom.

“It’s alright.” Ab let his head fall on Tom’s shoulder. “Just another girl in the long list of girls after my family name and money.”

“Stupid bitches.”

“Since dating entered the game, my school life has been a mess. I want to be thirteen again.” Ab reached for Tom’s hand and entwined their fingers together. “If you were a girl, I could just date you and everyone would leave me alone.”

Tom froze, his hands stilled and his eyes searched for some respite in the bedroom.

“Tom?” Ab gauged his expression and smiled wryly. “I’m joking, Tom. Don’t worry about it.”

Tom nodded but the ugly feeling never left him.

Something had changed that night. Something fundamental.

~~~

Tom understood the trouble Ab spoke about a bit later. He might not have had a noble bloodline or any money to his name, but Tom had always been handsome. Girls would approach him and ask him out or make a fool out of themselves talking to him.

He hated it.

“You just have to politely turn them down, Tom.” Ab said softly in Greek. “No harm done.”

“They act like absolute idiots.” Tom sat elegantly in an armchair in the common room while Ab sat on the armrest. The Greek was a necessity to avoid anyone else understanding them.

“So no girl has struck your fancy?”

Tom made a disgusted face.

“Wow. Any more frowning and you will look like a murtlap.”

Tom slapped him on the back of his head.

Ab laughed and Tom had to admit that it made him forget all the female trouble launching itself at him during the entire year.

~~~

Ab’s drawings always made Tom grin like an idiot, no matter how bad or ridiculous they looked. He had to fight to keep his expression neutral when Ab decided that showing them to him in the middle class was a good idea.

Tom wouldn’t have anyone else design his mark for him. A snake and a skull, beautifully entwined to represent Tom; a Slytherin who brought death. Tom had decided he needed that mark after he found the Chamber of Secrets and tamed the Basilisk to do his bidding. That event marked the end of his childhood. He couldn’t continue being a child whose only aim was to get good grades, keep up a good reputation and find out his family heritage. He began collecting allies. One after another.

Obviously, he didn’t hide his plans of greatness from Abraxas. He couldn’t. In the last four years of his life, he had learnt to confide in Ab for everything. He trusted Ab with everything and Ab never betrayed him.

He assembled followers but never truly trusted them.

Abraxas helped him gather people. The Malfoy name was a strong tool and Ab’s influence amidst the pureblood families was great. He came up with the idea of branding them with the Mark. He helped Tom build up a strategy to gain more power.

He came up with ‘Lord Voldemort’ after Tom told him how repulsive it was to carry around his Muggle father’s name.

“We can hide it.” Ab had said. “We can hide it all. Your mother was a descendant of Slytherin, your father is unknown. But we can say he was a pureblood. I will help you with this. No one has to know the truth, not if you don’t want them to.”

They came up with an estranged member of the Malfoy family to be Tom’s father. Estranged or not, he had been a pureblood. And more importantly, he had died a few years ago so he couldn’t come back to defend himself.

But it wasn’t enough. Tom needed to prove he was a descendant of Slytherin, so he started the attacks. He didn’t tell Ab right away. He had believed that even if he had proved how stupidly loyal he was to Tom, he would still draw the line at the possible murder of fellow students. Ab had always been extremely soft after all.

Ab knew it was Tom right away though. The moment the first victim dropped, Ab knew.

Tom had been terrified for the first time in his life. Ab had given him the cover he needed to gain followers and grow stronger. He could take it away just as easily.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do, Tom?” Ab never called him Tom anymore, not when they were alone.

Tom had a short moment of clarity then. Was it? Did he want to be a murderer? Did he want to hurt people? Did he want to lose Ab?

Ab took his hands and squeezed. His grey eyes held no malice or hatred in them. He looked at Tom in an open way, like he had been looking at him from their first year.

“I will follow you no matter what, Tom.” Ab said. “If you regret this, and want to hide it, I will be your secret keeper. If you want to spread it to your followers and persuade them, I will be your rumour spreader. I will be anything you need me to, Tom. But this is your final chance to stop. I don’t think I will be able to give you another chance after this.”

“Why?” Tom choked the word out. How could it be that Ab would give him so much freedom, so much understanding?

“Because you are my…” Ab shook his head. “Just because.”

~~~

The Basilisk attacks continued and eventually, the first death happened. Tom pinned it on Rubeus Hagrid and Abraxas supported him all the way.

The school year had come to an end and Tom had taken residence in the secret tower in the Malfoy Manor again. Ab had brought up the idea of strengthening Tom’s magical core then and they had started their research.

Tom had fun. Irrationally enough, he didn’t care as much as he should have about the success of their research. He was having fun just spending time with Ab, obsessing over old books and potion combinations. Tom didn’t want it to end.

At the end of July, Abraxas kissed him.

Tom didn’t react immediately. He didn’t know how.

“I just wanted to try that once.” Ab said sadly. “I’ve been dreaming about it since I was twelve.”

“What?”

“It doesn’t have to become anything, Tom.” Ab shook his head. “You told me you would do me one favour in exchange for helping you hide your identity. This was it. Favour paid in full.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you want to understand?”

Tom didn’t like how sad Ab looked. He hadn’t realised how much he liked seeing Ab smile until the smile was replaced by this guilty and sad expression.

“Make me understand.” Tom said, because he needed Ab. Foolishly, he had become dependant on the Malfoy heir and his poor head could only explain it as a ‘need’ for him to gain power. Even if he knew that however he reacted to this, Ab would still stay by his side.

“I love you, Tom.” Ab said softly, his eyes staring right into Tom’s soul. “It’s irrational and crazy and I’ve fought so hard not to act like those foolish girls who tried to date you. I’ve tried to give you what you need, what you want because I can’t give you anything else.”

“Love is—”

“Foolish, I know.” Ab chuckled. “It’s a concept you detest and frown at but I can’t stop how I feel. Think me stupid if you want but I want you to know that I have tried to get over it and I can’t. So I decided to embrace it instead.”

“I can’t—”

“I only needed this one kiss.” Ab smiled. “I’m not going to ask for anything more.”

~~~

Tom had left the manor the next day. He needed to think. He needed to understand.

He decided to visit his mother’s hometown. Maybe if he could just get the answers he needs for his parentage, he would find the right answer to give Ab.

The intense feeling of not wanting to lose Ab assaulted him again. It felt more real now, more rough. But Tom didn’t do love and he couldn’t change that.

When he saw the state his maternal uncle lived in — the state of his mind — Tom realised he had to act before the seamless insanity came to him as well. Insane or not, however, his uncle told him the story of his mother and her muggle ‘husband’. Tom lost all restraint. It was pure luck that he still had the logic to take his uncle’s wand when killing his ‘father’ and his paternal grandparents. The idea that that man’s blood ran through his veins made him ill.

He returned to see his uncle and admitted to what he had done.

In a rare moment of clarity, Morfin Gaunt found compassion for his sister’s son and muggle-blood or not, Tom still carried Salazar Slytherin’s blood.

“You took revenge. You did good. You take the ring.” Morfin pushed the ring onto Tom. “You take good care of that ring. You carry the bloodline. Understand, half-blood? You hide your mudblood. Understand?”

“Nobody knows it.” Tom said dumbly. “Everyone thinks an estranged Malfoy is my father.”

“Good.” Morfin said. “Give my wand back now. I will take the blame.”

Tom left the place with three more murders under his name and a ring that belonged to his family, his pureblooded family. Damning his last living relative to a life in Azkaban. Morfin had asked him to alter his memory so he wouldn’t break under any Veritaserum or Legilimency. And so Tom had wiped any remains of his existence from Morfin’s memory.

Alone and distraught, he found himself back in the Malfoy manor, to the only person who knew all of him. To the one person who knew who ‘Tom Riddle’ was.

He found Abraxas waiting for him in the bedroom over the laboratory, sitting on the bed and staring at the wall like a mourning widow. He looked up with wide eyes when Tom entered the room. He quickly wiped away his tears but not before Tom saw them.

The Gaunt ring was in his pocket but he didn’t want to talk about it. Ab would let him talk about it, no matter how Ab was feeling right now. But Tom needed a distraction.

“You’re back.” Ab murmured.

Tom didn’t answer. He joined Ab on the bed and kissed him. It brought up all kinds of wrong inside him but he pushed on.

Ab pulled back, flushed. “What are you doing?”

“Properly paying you back.”

“You don’t have to do this.” Yet Ab gripped Tom’s robes tightly.

“Shut up.” Tom leaned in into a kiss again.

~~~

It became a frequent thing after that.

Tom gave Ab no love through those exchanges, just raw physical intimacy and warmth. That was the most Tom could give him. Ab never complained. He never asked for anything more.

Their relationship was the only constant Tom had for the rest of his life. Ab never pulled back, no matter how inhuman Tom became. No matter how cruel he became, no matter how evil.

Abraxas married a pureblood woman a few years after they completed their studies at Hogwarts. He had a son with her; Lucius. Abraxas changed after Lucius’ birth. He matured. His childish adoration of Tom stopped but his love for him never faded.

Tom had been a part of Lucius’ childhood. His mother didn’t like that. She had most likely suspected the true manner of Tom and Ab’s relationship. Tom didn’t blame her.

“You are not welcome here.” She had said one day when Ab was absent and Tom had been playing a game of babyproof exploding snap with little Lucius.

“I am afraid your husband has a different opinion.” Tom didn’t even bat an eye. He knew his place in Ab’s life and no woman would be able to take it.

The times he was allowed to play with Lucius decreased. His mother did anything she could to keep him away from Tom.

Tom had been just a tiny bit sad about it. He had never been allowed near a baby before. He never shared that particular feeling with Ab, however. Just this one thing, he kept a secret from him.

Lucius grew into a splendid young man and Abraxas hadn’t missed the chance to get him in the Death Eaters. His wife had been against it but she died young. By the time he joined the Death Eaters, Lucius had lost his childhood innocence and only talked with rigid politeness to Tom. Any relationship they had during Lucius’ childhood had been irreversibly broken.

Ab didn’t notice how bitter Tom was about it. Tom hid it well.

~~~

“Okay, I had my suspicions but I was hoping for something less dark.” Draco said.

“I’m in the middle of a bout of nostalgia.” Riddle growled. “Can you not invade my memories?”

”Can your memories not be so easy to comment on?”

“Just take the crumbs of your grandfather’s childhood and shut up.”

Riddle took a seat on the bed and let his hand rest on the bedside table. In a moment of weakness, he thought that Draco’s interference gave him comfort.

“I heard that.”

Riddle could distinguish a part of Ab’s personality in Draco, however small, and it scared him how nostalgic it made him feel.

“I had a soft spot for Lucius at first.” Riddle admitted out loud. “I wanted him safe.”

“What changed?” Draco had a funny way of talking. It never sounded judging.

“You did.”

~~~

Abraxas never judged Tom for his choice of creating Horcruxes. Not until it was way too late for Tom to stop.

“I think this is enough, Tom.” Ab said in the confines of their bed in the secret tower. “You are changing.”

“Immortality would do that to you.”

“Do you really need more Horcruxes? You already have three.”

Tom had given the diary to Abraxas to gatekeep inside the Malfoy Manor. He had hidden the Gaunt ring in the house of his uncle and he had hidden Ravenclaw’s diadem in Hogwarts. Heziphae Smith was his key to getting the Slytherin locket and Hufflepuff’s Cup.

“You can take the items.” Ab said softly. “Just don’t… Don’t split your soul anymore.”

“Are you trying to run away now? After all this time?”

“I am not going anywhere, Tom.” Only Abraxas was allowed to call him Tom nowadays and only in private. “I told you. Whatever you do, I will be by your side.”

“Then why are you trying to stop me from becoming the most powerful—”

“You already are the most powerful wizard, Tom.”

“No, it’s not enough.”

“You have the strongest magical core known to man.” Ab cupped his face. “I made sure of that and I am not taking it back.”

“I need more.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t die.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

Ab fell silent. His hands fell from Tom’s face and he turned his back to him.

“Ab?”

“It feels like I am losing you.” Ab admitted. “I’m sorry, Tom.”

“What are you apologising for?” Tom sat up a bit. “You gave me all I asked for.”

“But I couldn’t give you what you need.”

~~~

“I never understood what he meant by what I needed.” Riddle had fallen down on the bed face up, staring at the barren ceiling.

“I think I know.” Draco said.

“Enlighten me.” Riddle said in defeat.

“Point our wand to the ceiling and cast Revelio.”

“What would that prove?”

“Just do it.”

With a huff, Riddle pulled the Elder Wand from his pocket and pointed to the ceiling.

As soon as he spoke the incantation, a vast number of little stars shone in the darkness, making the ceiling look like the night sky.

“How…” Riddle murmured.

“Uncle Regulus slept here for a few days. He noticed and told me. I bet it brings back some kind of memory, no?”

It did.

~~~

“Are you sure it’s alright for me to stay here?” Twelve-year-old Tom Riddle said as he looked around at the large room.

“Of course.” Twelve-year-old Abraxas grinned. “You can stay as long as you want.”

“Your parents…?”

“They don’t mind. They are happy I have friends.”

“Friends…” Tom said shyly, the word foreign to his mouth.

“My room is right next door.” Ab smiled. “I tried to persuade my dad to add another bed to my room so we could pull our long before-sleep talks, like at Hogwarts. He said we should sleep. But I bet you could charm my parents to let it happen.”

And Tom did.

Tom only slept alone in the too-large room on the first day of his visit to the Malfoy Manor. The next day, his bed had been made in Abraxas’ bedroom. Big and spacious and way too green. Tom felt tiny. The starry sky installed on the room’s ceiling didn’t help much with that.

“Mum put it up for me when I was four.” Ab had snuck onto Tom’s bed, lying side by side and looking up at the stars. “All the constellations and stuff are right there. Proportions are a bit skewed though, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to look at all of them without having a sphere-like room.”

“That must have been a lot of work. Even for a painter like your mother.” Tom’s eyes had left the ceiling. He was looking at Ab’s face.

“It took her five months.” Ab’s entire face had lit up. “Any time I look at it, I remember how much she loves me.”

Tom’s eyes turned to the ceiling again. Could such an unimportant thing be a form of love?

“So it’s not a decoration to show off?” Tom asked, frowning.

“Nobody would see it inside here, except me.” Ab giggled. “If she wanted to show it off, she would have put it in the entrance or the dancing hall. This is just for me.”

“Huh…”

“Has nobody done anything like that for you?” Ab asked.

“No.” Tom didn’t see his expression, too busy staring at the beautiful stars above.

They stayed like that for a long while, just admiring the beautiful painting of the night sky. Tom had closed his eyes and had almost fallen asleep when Ab whispered it. So soft and gentle that Tom felt the emotion behind it even in his half-asleep state.

“I will draw it for you one day.”

~~~

“That’s unfair.” Riddle choked out. “You can’t just do this and never tell me.”

“I’m sure he wanted it to be a surprise.” Draco said softly.

Riddle didn’t acknowledge the wetness on his cheeks. He wiped it away and left the tower, running down the stairs to the library and then to the hall of portraits. He didn’t care how much sound his footsteps made. He just had to get there, to Ab, to the portrait he had avoided like the plague since he stepped into the manor.

Ab was beautiful but not young. He had chosen to have his older self drawn, all to keep as many memories as he could.

“Draco?” Lucius’ portrait said. “Why are you crying?”

Draco had gotten in the habit of talking to Lucius’ portrait in the last two years so the recognition didn’t surprise Riddle, but he had no time for that. He needed to talk to Ab, in private.

“Well, as private as you can get anyway.” Draco said. “I am not going anywhere.”

Riddle didn’t even roll his eyes at Draco, he just took the portrait off the wall and apparated back to the tower, all the while Abraxas’ portrait grumbled about how his grandson had no respect for his sleeping elders. He got to the bedroom and put the portrait against the headpost of the bed. He pointed at the ceiling.

“Why did you never tell me, Ab?” The words sounded broken even to his own ears.

Abraxas’ disapproving frown turned into a confused smile.

“Tom?”

“Wow, I didn’t know he could make that expression.” Draco giggled.

Tom had never been good at Occlumency but he had spent enough time in Draco’s mind to learn a thing or two. He shut Draco out and hoped Draco would keep out of it. He didn’t want him to hear. He didn’t want anyone to hear.

“You painted the ceiling.” Riddle said, dumbly.

Ab looked surprised but he didn’t ask how Riddle was in control of Draco’s body. He smiled as soon as he registered Tom’s words.

“I painted the ceiling.”

“You painted it for me.”

“Only for you.” Ab smiled. “You know that as soon as my parents died, I never told anyone about this place. Though my grandson cracked the code, but that wasn’t supposed to happen. It was only for you.”

“I had forgotten all about it.” Riddle sobbed. “The ceiling in your room, your promise that I heard even as I fell asleep. I never saw that room again after my second year.”

“I started the painting on the tower when we were still at Hogwarts.” Ab said solemnly. “I kept it under a concealment charm so you wouldn’t see until it was completed.”

“When was it completed?” Riddle was scared of the answer.

“Never.” Ab shook his head. “It was never good enough for you. I had to make it perfect. I kept changing things all the time, even after your death.”

“Why…?” The word came out desperate, more desperate than Riddle wanted it to. He didn’t want to think what would have happened if Abraxas had just shown him before… before everything.

“Because I still hadn’t moulded my love the right way for you, no matter how hard I tried.”

He would have stopped.

He would have stopped the Basilisk attacks before the girl died.

He wouldn’t have killed his father and grandparents and framed his uncle.

He wouldn’t have made a Horcrux.

He would have stopped at three Horcruxes.

He wouldn’t have started a war.

He wouldn’t have tried to kill Draco.

“It didn’t have to be perfect.” Riddle found himself saying, desperate and hurt, like a broken child. That was all he was in the end; a broken child. And Ab had desperately tried to pick up the pieces. “The painting, I mean. Because your love… it had always been perfect. I just couldn’t see it. I should have seen it. I’m sorry.”

The portrait cried.

Riddle cried.

It felt like an ending.

“Not yet.” Draco said and reclaimed control.

“My two hours aren’t up yet—”

“Hello, Tom.”

When Riddle wasn’t in control, he found himself in a dimly lit room that looked a lot like the Room of Requirement. One could mould it at will. This time, it looked just like the tower, and there, on one of the lab tables, sat Abraxas Malfoy.

“How are you…?”

“The Black Madness.” Ab said solemnly. “I am, after all, Draco’s ancestor.”

“But how can I see you?”

“You are inside Draco’s mind, just like I am. All of this is magic anyway. Is it really that surprising?”

This Ab looked different from the portrait. Older, calmer, self-assured.

“The portrait was made two years after your death. I was still mourning then.”

“So you…”

“Got over you?” Ab laughed, a boisterous childish laugh. “No, Tom. If I was going to get over you, it would have happened much earlier. But I stopped mourning you. I stopped feeling insufficient.”

“What happened?”

“I perfected my research. I perfected my painting. I found the words to tell you that I love you.”

“Words…?”

“They never gave you that notebook, did they? The one my grandson and his friends decoded.”

Tom shook his head. He stood still in the middle of the tower, unwilling to take his eyes off Ab, who even in his old wizened age, looked beautiful.

“They read the English, Tom.” Ab grinned.

“Oh.” Evidently, the words Ab spoke of were the Greek ones.

“Take a look at it, Tom.” Ab said softly. “I found the right way to love you at long last. I wrote our story there, from my perspective. So read it, and if you find you can finally accept my love, then we will meet again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will know when you read it.”

~~~

Riddle watched in silence as Draco put Abraxas’ portrait back on the wall and went about his day, his mind reeling. He had to read that notebook. Ab said it was important. Ab said they would meet again if he could accept his love.

Riddle didn’t do love but maybe Ab had found the right way to shape his love, in a way Riddle could accept.

Draco didn’t deny him the book. Unfortunately, Draco wasn’t the one holding the book anymore. So it took a few weeks for Draco to persuade Severus to allow Regulus to give Draco the book. It had to be the original book of course. The decoding wouldn’t hold the Greek words after all. And these Greek words, only Riddle could read.

The first night he held the book, he spent reading of their childhood. He silently watched how Ab’s adoration turned to admiration turned to love. He read about the start of the painting, in their fourth year, right after Ab fully realised the extent of his love. An extent that Riddle, unfortunately, never noticed.

I never went to get my grandson. I couldn’t look him in the eye and act like I didn’t resent him for killing you. It’s bizarre, how much more I loved you compared to everyone else. My son ended up in Azkaban but I didn’t care as much as I did losing you. It destroyed me. The boy, Draco, is with his mother’s sister now. That’s better for him. He can grow up with someone that loves him, someone that sees his dead mother in him. I couldn’t do that, Tom. He looks so much like Lucius but Lucius could never compare to you anyway.

He could have gone back to Abraxas even if he had successfully killed his grandson. Ab would have accepted him back, and the knowledge of that hurt.

“Does Abraxas Riddle sound better? Or maybe Tom Malfoy. I think Tom would like the Malfoy name if only for its pureblood status, but that’s okay. Maybe we could hyphenate it into Malfoy-Riddle. I would like that. Tom might not. We will do what Tom wants of course.” This is an excerpt from my diary. It sounds silly reading this in my old age. I could never marry you without upsetting my parents and going against tradition. I also know that, if you had ever asked me for a wedding, I would have thrown it all away. It scares me. How far I was willing to go for you, how far I am willing to go for you.

Riddle wanted to do many things as he read the notebook. Burn the pages so no one will ever know, frame them on the wall in their hidden tower and read them over and over, cry, laugh, scream. Nothing would fix the surge of feelings inside him.

He had lost it all, his body, his freedom, his only friend and for what…? For the stupid notion of immortality and power. He had never noticed before how Ab had made his life better. Nobody would talk to him at Slytherin with his battered clothes and unknown name. Nobody but Ab.

There was a single page left in the notebook and Riddle was reluctant to turn it. The notebook had kept him company for the last few days. He didn’t want it to end. He knew he had to finish it though.

Tom, because in the end, you were only ever Tom to me. It was Tom Riddle that I loved, not Voldemort. It was your humour that pulled me to you, not your power. It saddened me greatly when you talked of immortality and eternal life because I couldn’t follow you there. I never could. I would have if you had asked me to, but I wouldn’t want it. Life is like a book. It needs a beginning and an ending. Otherwise, the book dulls and bores the reader. My life is at its end now, my friend. I finished our research and I finished the painting. That is my ending. I wouldn’t say my life was that interesting of a book. At most, I was a secondary character in your book, dead before the ending. I wonder how long your book will be sometimes. I wonder if you will miss me even a little bit or if you will forget me entirely one day.

If there’s one reason that dying saddens me, Tom, is that I will never see you again. I will always miss you, Tom. I will always wait for you, even if you decide to live forever. I wish I could promise to watch over you, but I don’t really know how death works and I don’t have any regrets to keep me here as a ghost. But you should know this, Tom.

I never stopped loving you, and I never will.

Riddle could see it now. What Ab had meant, how they might meet again if Riddle read the book. He had been right.

~~~

“How was it?” Draco asked two days later when Riddle dared take over Draco’s body again.

“Enlightening.” Riddle said dryly. He had blocked Draco out these two days, retreating into the deepest confines of his mind and — embarrassing as it sounds — mourning a lost life.

“This sucks.” Draco groaned. “I promised I would show you the delights of friendship but Grandpa beat me to it.”

“You could never compare to him anyway.” Riddle chuckled. “You have way too strong morals for that.”

“Debatable.” Draco huffed. “What are you gonna do now?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You know… from what I understood, you gave up on immortality after reading the notebook. So I am asking what you will do from now on.”

“Trying to find a way to expel me?”

“No. A deal is a deal. But I did promise I will help you figure out immortality and if that’s not what you want anymore, well…”

“You are right.” Riddle said and set his book down, focusing his attention on Draco. “Living forever is not what I want anymore. I do not intend to leave anytime soon though.”

“What will you do then?”

“Resurrecting Abraxas would be a choice but… he’s finally at rest. It’s not my place to bother him. I think I want to live.”

“Live?”

“I would like to write my book properly.” Riddle said. “Two hours a day isn’t exactly enough time to be independent but I could enjoy it.”

“That sounds like a splendid idea.” Draco grinned. “And if you want to try your hand at experiencing a different life in a couple of hours… well, I have an interesting proposal.”

~~~

Acting became Riddle’s official pastime, maybe more than Draco’s. He hadn’t expected he would find a passion for it but he could be anyone he wanted, no judgement at all. Draco encouraged it.

Riddle still spent some of his time reading, learning new things he would have never touched before, like astronomy or divination. He could read just for fun now, with no pressure on finding a way to immortality.

Sometimes, he would spend his time talking about old stories with portrait Abraxas, sometimes he would chat with him in Draco’s mind, sometimes he would reread the notebook and sometimes he would just stare at the starry sky on the ceiling of their tower.

It was one of those nights that he noticed a single star that didn’t fit in with the others. It was in the middle of the constellation of the dragon and it held a greenish hue to it. He always wondered what that little star symbolised and why Ab put it there but he never got his answer.

Oh well. He could always ask Ab when he saw him again.

Chapter Text

People forget their first few years on earth. Baby amnesia or whatever. Avril didn’t have that. She remembered being born, her parents smiling, and her big brother, Harry, frowning at her. She remembered her brother touching and pinching and trying to figure out what her deal was. She remembered her little sister being born a year later. Harry didn’t frown as much this time. Avril remembered Iris’ first steps and Harry’s first words. She remembered it all.

She never told anyone. She could never tell anyone. She had tried. She had told her Mum, her Dad, Harry… No one believed her. She stopped mentioning it. She made an effort to forget. But how do you forget something? She concluded that she was somehow broken, defective. She kept this part of herself hidden.

Her parents always described her as mature, old beyond her years. Avril didn’t mind. The responsibilities that came over that description weighed her greatly. She felt an obligation towards her parents; to look after her siblings, to make sure their arguments didn’t escalate and their fights didn’t end in injuries. She liked the authority she had at first. It stopped being enjoyable when she turned eight though. Try to juggle a nine-year-old boy and a seven-year-old girl and you have a very dangerous combination. She never complained to her parents or anyone else.

She didn’t complain to anyone until Tom Riddle.

Avril hated how weak she had been. She had treasured that notebook because Harry had given it to her. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she had been delighted when Harry gave her a present. She kept it tucked away safely until September and decided to use it as a journal for her first year at Hogwarts, something that she would come back to in her later years

Tom had been kind, understanding. Avril had half wondered whether Harry had specifically given her a magical diary. When she brought that up to Tom, he jumped at the chance and confirmed her false theory. He had laid out a net and Avril had fallen right into his trap, getting more and more entangled instead of trying to get away.

When the memory gaps started, Avril didn’t immediately connect it to Tom. She thought that maybe her memory was compensating for her infant memories. She had gotten worried but didn’t know who to talk to about it. She could try with Severus, she thought. He would believe her. Probably.

Severus believed her. He gave her a memory-strengthening potion. It didn’t work.

By that time, Tom must have said something that made her suspicious because she didn’t go to Severus again. She figured she had done something wrong with the diary and tried to get rid of it. Tried being the keyword. After a quick trip to Draco’s hand, the diary was back to hers.

She considered telling Harry but she gave up on the idea. She felt guilty, like she had messed up so bad not even Harry would forgive her. Not when Hermione was petrified and Avril had finally connected her memory gaps with sightings of the Basilisk.

Was she the heir of Slytherin? But how? Why? She didn’t know. She pulled away from Ginny — the only person whom she had grown close to at Hogwarts — and she pulled away from Harry and his friends. She had to do something. She had to correct this. She had to—

~~~

“How’s my sweet sweet wife doing today?”

“You either are in a certain mood or you’ve done something.” Avril chuckled and turned to face Sandie.

“Can I not compliment my wife?” Sandie leaned down and pecked her cheek.

Avril rolled her eyes and went back to work. She had begun her apprenticeship under her mum’s watchful eye a year ago and she was very close to graduating from being a trainee. She had always liked making potions. The influence could either be from her mum or her godfather. She didn’t like experimenting with new potions though. She just liked making the same thing over and over. The predictability of making a potion for the hundredth time soothed her when the rest of the world kept changing. It also put her overachieving memory to use. She never forgot a recipe.

“You know,” said Sandie, “I had an idea.”

Avril sighed and put down the testing tube. She looked up at her husband.

“We could ask Luna to be our sperm donor.”

Avril frowned. “What?”

Sandie got on tiptoes and down again.

“Sandie?”

“I… Look,” Sandie put up his hands in defense, “I only learnt a month ago. I didn’t know she was like me.”

“She’s…” Avril did a metal tally and couldn’t for the life of her see whatever she was hearing. “How did we not know this?”

“Started the transition very early on. Before she even got into Hogwarts, I gather. Male puberty never even touched her.”

“Wow.” Avril tried to think if she had ever said something of the misgendering agenda to Luna before she had known better but thankfully came up short. And her memory had always held all information of her past conversations so she was sure she hadn’t said anything of the sort. “Wait. How did you learn this?”

“I was telling Ginny that the Muggle sperm donor facility rejected us and I might have talked about feelings and how it affected me…”

Avril looked unimpressed. Sandie tended to try and screen Avril from his psychological problems more than Avril liked. She knew that he didn’t do it because he didn’t trust her. That was just how he was, and Avril loved him anyway.

“Go on.”

“Ginny got this thoughtful look. You know how she gets when an idea strikes her.”

Oh, Avril knew. She starkly remembered the look on her face when she had the wonderful idea of making a potion blow up right in Severus’ face. Avril had tried to dissuade her but she wouldn’t hear of it. She got detention for two weeks.

“She didn’t tell me anything right away,” Sandie continued, “but I knew that she had come up with something. She called the next day offering Luna up as the sperm donor. I was having coffee at my office at the time and let me tell you, at least ten top-secret documents won a stain the size of England that afternoon.”

Sandie worked as an Unspeakable in the Ministry of Magic. He never spoke about his job more than strictly necessary. Avril knew that he was an Unspeakable, of course, just like Ginny and Luna but the rest of their circle of friends had the wrong idea about exactly what work he did in the Ministry. Though, Avril believed that the Circus knew as well. Hermione was the Minister after all. She would know. And if she knew, then the rest of them knew as well.

Avril finally managed to bypass the original shock about Luna’s birth gender and locked on the other — more important — point of interest.

“We have a sperm donor?” Avril said, the Black Fire Potion she was brewing forgotten in favour of the solution to her biggest problem.

“Yep.”

“But I thought—” She frowned. “I thought you didn’t want one of our friends being the donor. You didn’t want Draco, or any of his male friends for that matter.”

“I didn’t want them getting attached to our child.” Sandie took Avril’s hands in hers. “But Luna is different. Luna and Ginny are more than just good friends. Heck, I don’t care if the child thinks all four of us are their parents. It’s not like we will be the only family with four parents around?”

“The Circus Snakes? You want us to be like that? Living together, raising kids together?” Avril hadn’t expected Sandie to agree to anything like this. Avril certainly hadn’t thought of a possibility like this. Then again, Avril had always been the more conventional of them all. She had always imagined her family would be the traditional one; a wife, a husband and a couple of children. Even if it jeopardised her childhood fantasy, she didn't regret marrying Sandie though.

She wouldn’t change anything in her life so far, not Sandie, not Ginny and Luna and certainly not everything that brought them together.

~~~

Having Tom Riddle in her mind was the worst experience in her short eleven-year-old life. Two things came out of it though.

One, her parents stopped treating her like the referee for her siblings. Not that she stopped refereeing their fights, but her parents would step in right away when they were around. They stopped putting as much responsibility on her young shoulders. They stopped pointing out how different she was from her siblings. And they brought up the infant memory thing all on their own.

Dad admitted he had never forgotten when Avril had described to him at age four how she had felt when she had been born and Mum had never forgotten that Avril had described Iris’ birth to her in full detail when she was seven. They had talked about this and had searched about it.

Hyperthymesia.

There was a word for it in the Wizarding World. Merlin had had the same condition and had named it so himself. In his written accounts, Merlin explained how he remembered everything from when he was in his mother’s womb. Nobody believed him. He had been old and grey when he wrote that book, his autobiography book. He had explained it in great detail, how his memory worked, how it helped him and how it made life difficult sometimes.

Severus had been a bit of a Merlin fan when he was a student, and Mum, who spent the first few years at school crouching in hallways and talking with him had heard most of Merlin’s autobiography repeated to her by Severus. When Dad told her about Avril remembering her birth, she had made the connection. Her parents didn’t tell her immediately but they read the book and tried to understand.

The day they talked to her about it, they apologised for taking so long, for not understanding, for hurting her. Avril allowed herself to cry and let them comfort her. Something she hadn’t done since she was five.

Harry and Iris must have seen or heard her cries because they did a 180 degrees the next day. They didn’t treat her differently, exactly. But when it was time to decide which movie to watch, instead of Harry and Iris fighting over who would get his way, they made a silent thing with their eyes and let Avril choose. It was a small start, and it probably wouldn’t last long but whatever resentment she had unconsciously held for her siblings disappeared overnight.

The second thing that came out of the Chamber of Secrets incident was her new-found interest in one Theodore Nott.

Sometimes, Avril would shy away from admitting it but she remembered every day of her life. If she didn’t want to lie, she had to admit that Theo had been her first-ever crush. She didn’t tell anyone, not even Ginny — who she grew close with again during their second year. Iris, however, must have figured it out at some point. Avril must have looked at Theo in a certain way, she guessed.

She didn’t make a move though. She didn’t plan to. Surely, Theo wouldn’t turn to look at her. Not to mention that he knew exactly what she had done last year. He never put any blame on her so Avril’s fear was illogical but she was twelve and felt broken her whole life. Learning she shared a condition with Merlin didn’t boost her self-confidence as much as one would expect.

It wasn’t until the Yule Ball happened that she even thought of admitting her feelings about Theo. Neville had soothed her at the lake when she wanted to pull her hair out from frustration. Because Theo had chosen Iris. It had always been Iris. Anyone would choose Iris over her. Iris was better, obviously. Normal.

Neville was doing her a favour, taking her to the Yule, and not for the first time, Avril found Neville was a better brother than Harry ever was. She wanted to forget that thought as soon as it formed, but Avril could never forget anything anyway.

She hadn’t meant to cry again that night, thinking about how awful a sister she was for voicing resentment towards both her siblings in just one day, even if she only voiced it to herself.

This time, she was looking at the Black Lake again but not from outside. They had a couple of windows in the common room, from which you could look underwater the lake. She fought the tears back but they kept falling. It was night but students might still have been around in the common room.

Her fear was valid. Not long after she had formed the thought, Pansy Parkinson joined her at the window, frowning.

“Alright, which boy broke your heart, sweetheart?” Pansy said. “I will make sure they regret it.”

Avril shook her head. She knew who Pansy was. Harry had mentioned her. Not a good person, stay away.

But Pansy was anything but. She didn’t leave Avril there. She stuck around and managed to fish the whole story out of her. She only realised Avril was Harry’s sister halfway through it. She made a face, then pushed whatever she thought away and proudly announced it didn’t matter.

Avril fell asleep huddled against Pansy on the Black Lake window. She stopped trusting Harry’s judge of character starting that day. She had made a friend out of Pansy and she didn’t intend to let that stop because Harry didn’t like her.

In the end, Pansy, Neville and even Iris helped stage the right ground for her confession to Theo. It went as good as it could. Theo asked for some time to think about it. Avril thanked him for saving her again and made sure to put no pressure on him. She didn’t want that. Theo still looked like he had been put in a bed of nails and told to spend the night in it.

She spent the rest of the Yule dance wandering around. She shared a dance with Pansy, who was fishing for news on the confession. Avril confided in her more easily than she had ever confided in her siblings or Neville. Probably because she was an outsider and not their friend. She was her friend first and that had some value.

At the end of the night, she had plopped down on a chair by the drinks table and bobbed her head to the music as she watched Pansy and Draco make heated conversation during a dance. They were probably gossiping about something.

“This seat empty, my lady?”

Avril startled at first then turned to the beautiful lady standing next to her and nodded with a smile. She plopped down on the chair next to Avril and stretched her legs out.

“Helga, these shoes are killing me.” She groaned. “I hate heels and I tell my mum that every time but she keeps sending heels. She wants to kill me, I swear.”

Avril smiled politely at her. She hadn’t expected to be talked to. Certainly not by anyone out of Slytherin. Other students usually left Slytherins alone. And this girl was definitely a Hufflepuff judging from her ‘Helga’ exclamation.

“You here on your own?” The girl asked.

“My partner is a bad dancer.” Avril said. “He’s somewhere around, I’m sure.”

“Oh, shame for that. I am Susan, by the way. Susan Bones.” She extended her hand to Avril.

“Avril.” Avril shook her hand, smiling. “Avril Potter.”

“Harry’s little sister?” Susan asked. “Honestly? I thought you were a year above me.” She chuckled. “You look so grown up in that dress. Majestic even.”

Avril returned the compliment, mostly out of politeness. To be honest, the dress looked unflattering on Susan’s body.

“No need to lie.” Susan chuckled. “I know this dress makes me look worse than ever. Mum wouldn’t let me wear a suit though. She seems to think she can force me to become more feminine.”

Avril looked down at her flat shoes and an idea struck her. She and Susan were around the same height so there was a possibility that—

“What’s your shoe size?” Avril asked.

“Size 5, why?”

Avril grinned and took her shoes off.

“Let’s switch?”

Susan grinned so widely, that Avril wanted to keep that smile on her face all the time.

They changed their shoes and stood up for a dance. One dance became two, which became three, then four, then five.

Avril didn’t want the night to end. Susan talked about nothing and everything and took Avril’s Slytherin humour in good faith. Avril hadn’t had such a lengthful talk with any Hufflepuff before and she had to admit she loved their easy demeanor and accepting companionship.

By the end of the night, all nerves about Theo’s answer to her confession were gone, like Susan had stepped on each of them during their dances. Susan walked Avril to the entrance of her dorm and squeezed her hand the tiniest bit before giving her another wide smile and wishing her goodnight.

Avril didn’t even care that much when Theo rejected her. She moped maybe for a couple of days. Then Susan asked her out to go feed a mooncalf at night and Avril forgot all about her broken heart or whatever you might call it.

~~~

Ginny snuck up to Luna and snuggled up against her back. Luna giggled and Ginny put small kisses all over the back of her neck.

“You really didn’t mind me telling Avril and Susan?” Ginny asked.

“Not at all.” Luna shook her head and did a twirl, bringing her face to face with Ginny. “It’s not really a secret for me. I just don’t think the contents of my underwear are anyone’s business except my sexual partners. Which well…” She giggled and smiled brightly, in that way that made Ginny’s heart jump. “That’s only ever been you.”

“And it will keep being just me.” Ginny leaned down to land a kiss on Luna’s thin lipglossed lips. Today they tasted like lemons. “I’m not letting anyone else have you.”

Luna grinned brightly again. She didn't say a word but she clung to Ginny a bit longer than strictly necessary. Ginny let her. Holding Luna in her arms never got boring for Ginny.

Really, Ginny couldn’t imagine her life without Luna by her side.

~~~

They said that parents become better at parenting the more children they have. By the time Ginny was born, her parents had gotten great with parenting… boys, that is. Parenting a girl came with various other challenges. The feminine girl her Dad always wanted would never come. Ginny had made her peace with that. Having six brothers doesn’t make you feminine, it makes you a tomboy.

Growing up, Ginny’s eyes always trailed to girls. She would listen to her brothers discussing some pretty celebrity or girls from school and she would nod her head approvingly. She had a similar type with Bill, she realised. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with liking girls until her Dad asked about boys the first year she came back from Hogwarts. That put her to thoughts.

In her second year, she looked at boys more closely, but nothing clicked. The only boy she could imagine herself being with was Draco and that too felt wrong. Very wrong. Then she developed a crush on Hermione which lasted for three whole months. Then it was Avril for about a month, then it was Lily. The crush on Lily lasted a bit longer, admittedly.

In her third year, Ginny asked Lily to the Yule and she agreed.

Luna had already entered the scene back then. Ginny had never paid much attention to her before but their third year but she couldn’t help her eyes landing on hers every time they had Potions together.

But the crush on Lily hadn’t faded completely and, frankly, Lily looked like she would go with girls. Luna? Not so much. Actually, Ginny couldn’t imagine Luna dating anyone at the time. She looked like the most innocent creature in the world. Someone had to protect her from all the vices of the world. It took Ginny a while to realise she wanted to be that someone.

The Yule dance with Lily made one thing clear to her though; she was a lesbian. She liked girls and only girls.

Ron had a small stroke when he found out. Ginny suspects it was because he thought she and Lily were dating though. The twins didn’t even bat an eye, they had figured, they said. As for the rest of her family… there was some tension. Her parents had a difficult time understanding but proved supportive. Percy nodded rigidly when Ginny told him. He didn’t look too bothered though. Bill and Charlie were surprised for maybe 3 seconds then became extremely supportive.

Avril had also been supportive. She admitted she had suspected long before Ginny had asked Lily out to the Yule and she made it clear that their relationship wouldn’t change. They were friends and would always be.

By her fourth year, she openly flirted with girls at school. Everyone knew her sexuality and she didn’t let anyone give her shit about it. And she and Luna had become friends. They shared a compartment on the train at the start of that year. Avril had also made a friend in Susan Bones, who despite being a year older, decided to hang out with them more than her own classmates. It took them some months well into fourth year to jokingly start calling themselves the ‘House Unity Quartet’. A silly name, really. Susan had brought it up and Luna had made it into a proper name. They even kept a journal, all four of them.

Between that and FES, Ginny spent all her time with Avril, Luna and Susan that year. She wouldn’t have it any other way, really. She loved it the most when all four of them hung out. It kinda sucked that they couldn’t stay up late talking though. A perk that came with all of them being in different dormitories.

On their fifth year though… Ginny had made the twins fess up all the hidden pathways and Avril stole her brother’s cloak at least once a week. They moved around quietly. They would sneak into Gryffindor, or Slytherin, or Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff. When the common rooms weren’t clear, they would hide away in the Room of Requirement. For them, it appeared as a classroom. They would lounge comfortably on the desks and talk the night away. Sometimes they even slept there.

Despite the state of the world at the time and the oncoming war, Ginny was happy.

~~~

“We will need a doctor for this to work.” Sandie said when all four had squeezed themselves into a single sofa and looked at the fireplace with rapt attention. “Or a Healer.”

“Someone we can trust.” Ginny said. “I don’t want anyone giving Luna a hard time.”

Luna smiled at her. Ginny would do anything and everything to protect her.

“There’s Uncle Remus.” Avril said. “He wouldn’t say anything, and he’s open to these things.”

“There’s also Lily.” Luna said. “She’s part of FES. She’s trustworthy.”

“Do either of them know how to do this though?” Sandie thought out loud. “It’s not exactly a common procedure in the Wizarding World.”

Avril, Ginny and Luna all raised a brow like Sandie had said something particularly stupid. The three girls waited for him to catch on.

“Oh.” Sandie’s eyes glinted in understanding. “I forgot.”

“You forgot your wife spent a year pregnant carrying her brother’s child?” Avril glared at him.

“I’m sorry, alright?”

“Who did the procedure for you?” Luna asked. “Mr Lupin-Black or Lily?”

“Lily,” said Avril, “but Uncle Remus was right there in case anything went wrong.”

“So both?” Ginny said, pulling Luna in her arms.

“Both.” Avril confirmed.

“Are we sure they won’t mind?” Luna said. “Sometimes people don’t… They have a different opinion of people like me than people like Sandie.”

“Uncle Remus isn’t like that.” Avril reassured her, a hand reaching out to rest against Luna’s slender arm. “I promise.”

Luna nodded.

“Also, Lily wouldn’t let him.” Ginny chuckled. “She hates people being judged for what they are more than anyone.”

“Not without reason.” Sandie said, also settling a reassuring hand on Luna’s shoulder. “We won’t let anyone hurt you, Loony. Not on our watch.”

A tear ran down Luna’s face and she smiled brightly at them.

“Thank you.” For accepting me, for not judging me, for not feeling betrayed.

Luna didn’t say any of those. Ginny could hear them in her voice anyway. Luna had told her once how she felt about her body. How it had always felt wrong, how her mother died trying to find a way to change it completely, to make it into what Luna needed. Luna rarely broke down in tears but that night, she had cried in Ginny’s arms. Ginny had held her tightly for hours after.

~~~

Luna wasn’t like other girls. Ginny always knew she belonged in another league. Ginny felt inadequate in comparison. It took Ginny a while to realise Luna felt the same way. It all came to a head at the end of fifth year. Luna and Ginny had been dating for a year and they had made out more times than Ginny could ever hope to count.

Ginny wanted to take the next step. Luna… not so much. Ginny would ask again and again. She felt like a petulant boy who didn’t know when to give up. After the tenth time she had tried to start something, she was close to giving up. Maybe Luna didn’t want to have sex, and that should be okay with Ginny. It was her body after all.

She would have stopped. Really. If Luna hadn’t let those words slip out in the heat of the moment.

“I don’t want you to see.”

“See what?” Ginny pressed. She would have stopped if Luna didn’t look ready to cry. She refused to let a crying Luna be, not on her watch.

Luna didn’t tell her right away. They spent weeks dancing around it. Ginny getting increasingly more worried and Luna more distressed.

Then the Death Eaters attacked.

In the aftermath, Ginny hugged Luna so tight, that she might well have broken a rib. She tried to keep her tears in but just the thought of losing Luna had her whimpering. Luna could have died that night and Ginny wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

Ginny refused to go back to Gryffindor that night. Luna sneaked her inside Ravenclaw and into her bed. Ginny didn’t care if Luna wanted to go any farther anymore, she just knew she couldn’t lose her. She wouldn’t survive it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Luna whispered in the safety of the darkness, her body burrowing into Ginny’s chest. “I’m scared.”

“Why?” Ginny said, softly. Her voice wasn’t judging, just conversational.

“I’m scared you will leave me.”

Ginny felt like someone had dumped a bucket full of water on her head. The need to sleep left her and she pulled back to look at Luna’s face, eyes flaring and desperate.

“I will never leave you.” Ginny wouldn’t survive without Luna by her side. She knew that. “Never. Luna, I was scared shitless today. Until I saw you walk into the Hospital Wing intact and safe, I was trembling like a bloody fish. I can’t lose you, Luna.”

“I’m scared you will change your mind.”

“Luna.” Ginny scolded with a smile. “Believe me. You are the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t care if you are half-goblin. You are mine, and I am not letting you go.”

Luna smiled softly and leaned into Ginny’s ear.

“I’m transgender.”

Ginny frowned. She knew the term, of course. Susan had told them about it a month ago. All three of them had shown nothing but support to her — him. Ginny still struggled a bit with his pronouns, but she would get used to it soon enough.

“So you want to be a man? Like Susan?” Ginny inquired, confused. “Why are you scared then? Because I am a lesbian? You are worried I am not going to love you as a man? Because, let me tell you, there’s no way—”

“I’m the other way around.” Luna’s sparkly eyes looked straight into Ginny’s then. “I… I was born in a man’s body.”

“Oh.” Suddenly, it made sense. Of course, Luna would try to avoid having to get undressed in front of her. Of course, she would be scared. Ginny wanted to slap herself for making Luna feel like this. For not making it somehow clear that she didn’t care what Luna’s body looked like down there. Ginny would give up anything just for Luna’s smile, and that? That she saw every day.

At Ginny’s silence, Luna made to pull away. Ginny grabbed both of her arms and dragged her back against her chest.

“Mine.” Ginny said. “It’s all mine. Whatever you have, it’s mine now. I don’t care.”

Luna melted against her and Ginny just held her tightly. Not letting go. Never letting go.

~~~

“So how long do you need to be off medication to… you know.” Ginny asked.

“A couple of months.” Luna said. “Lily will prescribe me new medication, to make sure I can actually produce… you know what.”

“How do you feel about it?” Ginny wrapped her hands around her wife.

“I started early so I’ve never… you know.” Luna murmured.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You can still step back. Sandie and Avril won’t be angry.”

“I want to do this for them.” Luna sighed. “They are my friends and I can’t do nothing as I watch them fight over this.”

“You’re the sweetest, kindest person in the whole wide world.”

“Sap.” Luna rolled her eyes and let her body melt against Ginny.

They stood like that for a while, swaying along to a non-existent song. They did that a lot. The steady movement and body warmth helped both of them calm down.

“This is your chance by the way.” Luna said after a while.

“Chance for what?”

“Having kids.”

Ginny froze for a moment, then chuckled.

“Nah, I think I’m good. Pregnancy isn’t for me anyway.” She paused, thought, then continued. “Except if you want kids.”

“I’m good.” Luna smiled up at her. “Plus, we will be Aunts soon.”

“We already are, Loony.” Ginny chuckled. “Remember my brothers?”

Luna laughed then pulled back and held onto Ginny’s hands.

“You know this will be different.” Luna smiled.

“Yes.” Ginny could already see it. A little one running around the house, screaming for Sandie or Avril but coming to play with Ginny and Luna. The four of them never quite grew apart. A child might be just what the four of them need to start spending all their non-working moments together.

It would be like fifth year all over again, and Ginny couldn’t wait.

Chapter Text

Severus had always wanted a family, a real family. Someone who would understand him, someone who cared about him.

Like Lily Potter.

Once, Severus would have given anything to be with her. He used to dream about her every night. Obsessively. He just couldn’t give up. He didn’t want to give up.

“Wahm.”

Severus sighed and turned to the toddler in the crib.

“What are you up to now?”

Draco made an unintelligible sound that, after many hours of interacting with the baby, Severus had a vague idea of its meaning.

“No, I am not letting you out of there.” Severus said calmly.

Since Draco learned how to walk, Severus decided that keeping him locked in his crib was the best possible scenario. He let him out one time and the boy almost downed a whole soap potion. Fortunately, Severus noticed immediately and removed the soap from his throat and stomach but he didn’t want a repeat of the incident with a less family-friendly potion.

“Out!” Draco yelled.

“No. In.” Severus glared.

Draco wasn’t scared of him. Severus had seen twelve and thirteen-year-olds pale when he glared at them, but not Draco. Draco just glared back with all the deadliness a two-year-old could emit. It never ceased to amaze him.

Severus had given up on Lily after the war. He had to. He had messed up so much. He kept his distance.

Draco made a pout and then threw his toy car at Severus. Little rascal had a hell of an aim.

“Fine.” Severus huffed and took Draco out of the crib but didn’t put him down. He held him in his arms. “Happy now?”

The boy giggled and his tiny fists pulled Severus’ hair. He had to get it cut soon. It was growing longer than he liked it.

Before Severus had much leeway to understand what happened, Draco was trying to make a deep dive onto the hard floor and Severus caught him by his foot in the last second. He couldn’t wait for Draco to grow up.

There were, however, also days when Severus didn’t want him to grow up at all. Because as long as Draco remained a baby, Severus could still be his godfather. The mark on his arm itched all the time. Severus wanted to tear it apart, skin it off his arm. He didn’t want to think about having to tell the boy in front of him. How would he ever admit to what he had done? He didn’t want to see Draco’s sparkly eyes dim. He didn’t want to see Draco’s childish admiration turn into hatred.

Raising a child, even if he was only in charge of him once or twice a week, was definitely not in his plans. Not in his short-term ones at least. Sometimes, when he got a bit drunk, he would imagine having a family with Lily, a fantasy he tried to extinguish when Lily married Potter. It still came to him sometimes though, when he didn’t think too deeply about how bad of a father he would be. He had the worst possible example after all.

~~~

“Orion.” Severus repeated with a calmness he didn’t feel. “That is not edible.”

Orion babbled and stuck his tongue out at him, something that Severus was sure Sirius taught him.

“Can I have the tube back?” He said again.

Orion just clutched the testing tube closer to his little chest. Orion became two a week ago but he still obstinately refused to talk. Draco had already been making up sentences at that age. Then again, Draco probably wanted to talk since his birth, he just didn’t have the ability at the time.

“Orion. I need that for my work.” He put out his arm, palm up.

Orion just took the object farther away, standing up on his wobbly legs and trying to get away at a slow pace.

Severus sighed.

“Having trouble?” Regulus stood at the door of the room, leaning against the doorframe with a playful grin on.

“It’s all your brother’s fault.” Severus told his husband and followed after their son at a patient pace. “He’s teaching Orion not to listen to me.”

“Or maybe Orion just wants to play with you?” Regulus offered and followed along as Severus reached their son and held him against his hip. “You’ve been working all day.”

Severus sighed. Regulus was right. Severus had been working all day. In his defense, it wasn’t entirely his fault.

“Please pass your complaints to your brother-in-law. He’s the one who asked for my help with his little experiment.”

“You could have said no.” Regulus smiled smugly.

“Not really.”

“Of course. Neville asked you after all.” Regulus drew closer and let his head fall against Severus’ shoulder. “Admit it. You actually love the boy.”

“Shut up.”

“I am not blaming you for helping out by the way.” Regulus said, more seriously. “That werewolf cure is a big thing. They needed someone they could trust.”

“I know.” Severus said just as seriously. He wouldn’t have agreed otherwise. Remus had asked both Lily and him to take part in the development of the drug. Severus had been hesitant at first. He had a newborn at home after all and didn’t want to miss the precious years he had before the boy grew up to be obnoxious just like his godson had when he turned five.

Then Neville asked him again and Severus couldn’t say no. Especially because he knew that Neville wanted this not only for his father but also for Lily Moon. And sue him, but Severus actually had a soft spot for that girl too. She reminded him of his Lily a lot at first. Then, Severus realised that she mostly reminded him of his godson. Put them in a room together and mayhem would be guaranteed.

And if Severus had any last reservations about taking part? Well, Draco burst into his office with the brightest hue of green hair Severus had ever seen him with and pretty much demanded Severus agree right away.

In a funny turn of fate, Severus could never really say no to Draco’s demands.

~~~

“Up.”

“What? No.” Severus’ eyes widened obscenely as Draco pointed at the top of the bookcase. “I am not putting you up there.”

“Up.” Draco said with more emphasis.

“Your mother will be back any minute.” Severus pointed out. “She will kill me.”

Draco frowned, huffed, and grabbed the table to stand up. Severus watched him take determined steps toward the bookcase. He stayed in place until he watched Draco climb onto the first shelf.

“Draco!”

“Up. Up.” Draco grabbed the shelf on top of him and was in the middle of executing a fairly dangerous maneuver when Severus grabbed him and pulled him away from the piece of furniture.

“Do you want to die?” Severus held him in the air.

“Up.” Draco grabbed on Severus’ sleeves. “Up, please.”

After a staring contest that lasted a good two minutes, Severus relented with a deep sigh. He put Draco on top of the bookcase and stayed close enough to catch him when he decided a tumble down almost two meters straight to the hard floor was a good idea.

“Happy now?”

Draco giggled in response. He stayed up there for a good ten minutes. Severus didn’t dare step away from his place next to the bookcase. Draco liked high places. As soon as he was up there, he started babbling as if an audience stood below him and listened. Severus could only make out a third of the words coming out of his mouth but that didn’t stop him from plunging on and on. Severus already dreaded the day the boy mastered English. Nothing would shut him up then.

Then, all of a sudden, Draco let out a loud giggle and crawled to the edge of the bookcase with no sign of stopping. Severus easily caught him as he tried to take a tumble down the floor. Draco didn’t fight Severus’ arms but he kept pointing in the direction of the door. When Severus turned to look, he saw Ted Tonks there, a big indulgent smile plastered on his face.

“You are good at this.” Ted said.

“Avoiding tumbles to death? Sure.” Severus adjusted Draco in his arms and handed him over to Ted.

“Hey, buddy.” Ted put Draco against his chest and Draco, forgetting to breathe most likely, plunged into another storm of babbling. “Uh huh. Did you have fun with Severus today?” Another chunk of babbling. “Yeah? You been ordering your godfather around all day, haven’t you?”

“Uhn!” Draco grinned.

“He will be a right menace when he grows up.” Severus rolled his eyes.

“That he will be.” Ted smiled fondly. “He has Dora and me wrapped around his little finger already. The only reason there’s any structure left in this family is Andy.”

Severus nodded. He hadn’t expected Ted to come pick Draco up today. Andromeda always came to take him back. Andromeda was easier to deal with. Slytherin for one. Ted was this bubbly concentration of energy that Severus didn’t know how to deal with. Sometimes, Severus forgot Draco and Ted weren’t biologically related. They smiled the same way.

“Oh, right.” Ted stopped right at the door and turned a big smile at Severus. “It’s Dora’s birthday next week. We are throwing a party. You should come.”

Severus gave him a look that translated to ‘you know I hate parties’.

“It will be just us and my parents. So if you are worrying about the whole…” Ted made an indistinct gesture. “... you don’t have to. My parents have literally no involvement in the Wizarding world apart from me, so.”

“I don’t think—”

“Just think about it.” Ted insisted. “I’m sure it will make both Dora and Draco happy.”

Severus resisted the urge to scratch his forearm until Ted was out the door and the house was finally silent. The silence was always deafening but never as much as right after Draco left. When he was in the house, he would be so noisy that Severus would be wishing for him to shut up but as soon as he was gone, Severus remembered the emptiness that was his life.

He fell back on an armchair and scratched his left forearm. A stupid action, really. It could change nothing. The mark was a constant reminder of his blunder, of the mess he made out of his life. Stupid decisions and stupid beliefs. He let his head loll against the back of the armchair and stared at the ceiling.

“Like I have any right to attend birthday parties…” He murmured in the silence.

Dora was a lot like her father. The first time she saw him, a month after they had taken in Draco, she was sitting on the floor with a Draco-sized bundle in her arms and she looked at Severus like he would try to snatch Draco away. Only after her parents introduced him as Draco’s godfather did her stance relax. After that, she warmed up to him quickly enough. His frown didn’t deter her. Nothing deterred her. Throughout his entire visit there, Dora had taken a seat right next to him and told him all the funny things Draco had done in the last month. Severus could admit that he didn’t hate the kid.

That still didn’t give him the right to attend her birthday party though.

~~~

“This is a walkman.” Teddy had come to visit and was showing off his newest toy to Orion and his sister, Reine, when Severus entered the room.

“Hello, Uncle Severus.” Teddy smiled immediately when he saw him.

Severus allowed a smile to flicker across his face before he turned his gaze to Dora, sitting on the sofa and chatting animatedly with Regulus.

“Fleur is taking Zoe to the doctor.” Dora gave as an explanation for her visit. “Thought I would go bother Draco but he has an audition today. So here I am.”

Severus nodded in acknowledgement and he turned back to the children. Orion had more interest in Teddy’s hair than the walkman and Reine preferred Orion’s moving snake pajamas to any of the two.

“Is there anything wrong with Zoe?” Severus asked, taking a seat on the armchair opposite Dora and Regulus.

“She’s been sneezing a lot.” Dora said. “Mum thinks it’s an allergy, Fleur believes it’s a cold. Either way, nothing life-threatening.”

“That’s good.” Severus acknowledged.

“Dora was just telling me about this birthday party they’re going to throw for Teddy.” Regulus said. “Draco is planning mayhem again.”

“When is he ever not?” Severus huffed.

“You can’t really blame him though. It’s his godson.” Dora said fondly. She had changed after the war. The ruthless bubble of energy around her had softened like Fleur had smoothed it over and tamed it. Not in a bad way, but in a way that grounded her in the present long enough to survive in a world that was out to get her. Her auror stint had progressed well. Talk of her being promoted to Head Auror had already circulated around the ministry, Lily told him as much.

“How old is Teddy again?” Regulus asked.

“Seven.” Dora groaned. “It feels like yesterday when he was born.”

“It’s been seven years since the war, huh…” Severus said somberly. It felt like a lifetime ago but it was just seven years.

“Hey.” Regulus caught his eye. “Don’t dampen the mood. It’s a celebration.”

“Right.” Severus nodded.

“No worries.” Dora grinned widely. “Dampening the mood is more or less Severus’ superpower. We are used to it, right?”

Severus shook his head as a chuckle escaped him.

Whether he deserved to attend a birthday party or not didn’t make a difference. After all, when the Black-Tonks family gave you an invitation, you just had to roll with it.

Otherwise, well, you end up face to face with the ruthless matriarch.

~~~

Severus had decided not to go to the birthday party. He had made his peace with that. He spent the day of the event distracting himself with a Draught of Living Dead. The potion required all of his attention and Severus was happy to give it.

Until the front entrance opened wide to reveal one Andromeda Tonks foaming at the mouth. Severus didn’t even manage to put a word in before Andromeda pulled out her wand and blasted the cauldron Severus was using to a hundred pieces. Severus barely moved fast enough to avoid any splash of the potion coming in contact with him.

“What the—”

“Party. Now.” Andromeda stated with all the authority of a Queen. Severus just about had time to process her words before she pulled him out to the hallway towards the main entrance.

“Wa— Wait, wait, I am not coming.” He tried to take a stand, put up some semblance of resistance.

“Oh?” Her eyes glared holes in his face. “Did it seem like I was asking?”

“Not really, but —”

“You. Are. Coming. Now.” Andromeda’s grip on his wrist grew tighter. Severus had the distant thought that maybe she downed a body-strengthening potion before coming and she would now physically pull him along with her physical strength alone.

“Look.” Severus tried one more time. “I don’t… I shouldn’t come, alright? This is a family occasion and I am not—”

“You’re Draco’s godfather in case it slipped your mind.”

“It didn’t.” Severus tried to lower the tone in his voice. If he started yelling, Andromeda would just yell more loudly. Her capabilities far surpassed those of Severus’. “But you don’t want me there, alright? I am… I am terrible at parties.”

“Fine.” She huffed and let his wrist go. “You don’t have to ‘party’.” She made air quotes. “You just come along and I will give you Draco to hold the entire time. Salazar help me, that boy has enough social energy for both of you.”

“I don’t think Dora will let him go that easily.”

“You can share.”

“Why is it so important that I come? You don’t need me there.” Now, Severus was just getting angry.

“I don’t, do I?” She snorted. “It’s a freaking party, Severus, not a chore. Stop being so…” She made another indistinct gesture.

“It’s a family party.” Severus lost control, his tone rising dangerously. “I don’t belong there. You don’t have to go out of your way to include me. I know you think you are doing me a favour but I don’t want your pity.”

Andromeda’s frown softened a bit and she sighed. Severus hated that she acted like he was a misbehaving child. Severus was an adult and he didn’t need anybody to—

“You are part of this family, Severus.” She had lowered her voice to a gentle whisper. “Your name was one of the first ten words Draco learned. Dora literally adores you, something I will never understand, and I…” She trailed off. “Look, Ted and I want you there, alright? It’s… You don’t have to try and distance yourself from us.”

“I do.” He whispered. “You know I do. It will be easier.”

“What will be easier?”

“When Draco…” Severus had to speak over the lump in his throat. “When he learns what I have done.”

Andromeda stayed silent for a moment, giving him a face of an emotion he couldn’t name.

“I think it will be alright.” She said. “I don’t blame you, do I?”

“It’s not—”

“No, it’s not the same. It’s worse.” Andromeda huffed. “I lost a sister. A little sister who I’ve known since I could remember. Draco lost someone he will not even remember. And if that boy is anything like Cissy, he will maybe hate you for a week after he finds out. And then he will be back at being an obnoxious addition to your life just like always.”

“Sometimes, I can’t look him in the eye.” Severus admitted. “I don’t know how you can even look at me, I—”

“You made a mistake, which you are deeply regretting right now.” Andromeda smiled. “I made mistakes. I make mistakes. All the time. With Ted, with the children. It’s one mistake after the other but I stay. Do you know why? Because I know that I love them and I know that I can do better if I just keep trying.”

She took a step back and opened the front door.

“So get your head out of the gutter and come to the bloody birthday party before my daughter starts crying because you’re not there.”

Severus went because maybe the truth was that he wanted a family.

~~~

“Stop moving around, Draco.” Andromeda’s stern voice traveled through the house.

Draco had easily offered Malfoy Manor for Teddy’s birthday party and Severus found he might have come too early. Regulus had left together with Andromeda an hour before him. Severus had waited for Orion’s nap to end before he woke him up and dressed him.

The party might not have started but Draco stood on a ladder fighting with a ribbon. The blue ribbon had wrapped itself around his body like a snake. Andromeda stood next to the ladder and gave directions. Severus could hear Harry and Ron’s voices arguing about something in the kitchens. Hermione greeted him first. She held baby Rose on her hip and overlooked Draco’s decorations as well.

“Regulus is out the back with Dora.” Hermione said, wordlessly offering to take Orion.

“What are they doing there?” Severus handed him over and saw his grey eyes shine with glee as he sat down next to Rose and made grimaces at her.

“Nothing good, I am afraid.” Hermione rolled her eyes. “Draco had this great idea to put a trampoline in the backyard. I don’t even want to think about the casualties.”

They fell into easy talk after that. Out of all the Circus members, Hermione was the more grown-up. She and Severus caught themselves in deep conversations more often than not. Severus had found a companion in her. Especially because half the time, the topic of conversation turned to Draco and his wild shenanigans.

A big clatter brought their attention to a fallen ladder and a mildly concussed Draco. Both Severus and Hermione stared in silence.

“Mum!” Draco whined, holding his head. “Come on!”

“You are obviously incompetent as a decorator.”

“And you had to push the ladder?”

“You wouldn’t come down otherwise.”

Severus had half a mind to do something about the situation over there when Dora entered the room. Her blue hair had managed to catch at least a dozen leaves on them and her clothes were muddy.

“Are you arguing again?” Dora groaned as she took in the scene. “Fleur will be here with the kids any minute now.”

Draco looked chastised but Andromeda held her head high, unrelenting.

“If you would just let me use magic—”

“Mum.” Dora warned. “We agreed that Draco was organising this party. And he said ‘no magic’. That’s that.”

Andromeda grunted and moved the ladder a few steps to the right. She stomped her feet on every step she climbed, an evident sign of her restrained anger.

“You okay?” Dora whispered to Draco.

“Safe and sound. You know my magic automatically puts up a barrier against physical harm when I am in danger now.”

“Yeah, well.” Dora smiled and ruffled Draco’s hair. “You are still my little brother though so I have to check up on you, right?”

Draco chuckled and leaned into the touch.

Nothing had changed, Severus mused. Andromeda might have gotten a bit rougher with her children but that was because she knew that Draco could survive an 8 meter jump with ease — that had given them all a scare when it happened — and not be in danger of falling off the sofa as he was at two.

Dora and Draco, however, hadn’t changed at all. Draco might be taller than his sister but he always managed to make himself look smaller in her presence. Dora had a protector’s streak a mile wide and wasn’t letting it go anytime soon.

“Severus!” Draco grinned widely when he spotted him. “You’re early.”

Severus frowned.

“Told him the wrong time.” Dora said. “He’s had a bit of a habit of running late after all.”

Draco frowned.

“It happened one time.” Severus said with a sigh.

“That’s one time too many.” She raised a finger in the air.

Severus rolled his eyes.

“When did that happen?” Draco asked.

“Her first birthday after Severus joined the family.” Andromeda piped up from the top of the ladder. “I had to physically drag him along.”

“Sounds like him.” Hermione chuckled.

“I don’t remember this.” Draco was still frowning.

“Yeah, because you were two.” Dora laughed and ruffled Draco’s hair again. “You were the most adorable baby ever.”

“So I am not adorable anymore?”

“I never said that.” Dora grinned.

“Don’t let your children hear that.” Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Hey, not my fault.” Dora put her arms around Draco’s waist. “This one is the first baby I ever saw. He made quite an impression.”

“He never stopped making impressions, I am afraid.” Andromeda climbed down the ladder and admired her work. The blue ribbons were in place and the balloons were firmly hanging from them.

Somehow, nothing had changed.

~~~

The Tonks' household remained as Severus had left it the first and last time he had visited. He preferred when they brought Draco to him instead of coming here to babysit. Sometimes, Dora would tag along. Dora Tonks had somehow taken a liking to him. A peculiar thing, really.

“Severus!” Dora chirped when Severus trotted along after Andromeda. She wore a party hat and a long purple dress that she had already managed to tear at the bottom. She rocketed herself at him. Severus barely caught her in time. “You came!”

“Yeah.” He said softly. “Sorry, I am late.”

“That’s okay.” Dora grinned. “I was worried. Thought something happened to you.”

Severus didn’t want to admit he felt like crying even to himself but he did.

“Come on! Draco is looking forward to the cake.” She grabbed his hand in both of hers and pulled.

Severus let her lead him along, feeling lighthearted like this was a dream. He had never felt warm like this before. He never had any good memories of his own family but this right here? It made him want to re-evaluate the concept of a family once again. He instinctively knew that this party was the start of a bunch of good memories waiting to happen.

~~~

“Having fun?”

Severus had taken his drink and found solitude in a corner of the garden. The flowers were in full bloom just like they had been when Narcissa was alive. Severus didn’t hate the party or the people there, not even Sirius Black, but he never mastered the art of socialising for hours on end. He just needed a small break.

Leave it to his godson to find him right away.

“Tired already?” Draco sat on the bench beside him, admiring the flowers. “We really need to work on that social stamina of yours.”

Severus rolled his eyes.

“At least admit you are having fun.” Draco laughed, eyes glimmering just like when he was a baby.

Severus snorted.

“You certainly make every party you join ‘fun’.” Severus didn’t quite manage to hide the fondness in his voice. “I would call it your special skill if I didn’t know you are actually much better at creating mayhem.”

Draco smirked smugly.

“You know me so well.”

“Comes with prolonged experience babysitting you.”

“Right.” Draco smiled, softly. “You did a good job, by the way. Babysitting me, I mean.”

Severus arched a brow, questioning.

“You know.” Draco shrugged. “You certainly gave me an example to follow.” His eyes trailed off to Teddy twirling his baby sister around. “With Teddy, you know.”

“You couldn’t find a worse role model if you tried.” Severus huffed.

“Maybe.” Draco leaned back on his hands and turned to face him, a big grin on his face. “You were what I needed though, and that’s what I am trying to be for Teddy.”

Severus felt like crying a little bit. He wanted to deny Draco’s affirmation but knew that it rang true. Draco had a strict mum, a kind dad, and a fun sister growing up. Add a slightly depressed godfather with an interest in the dark arts and you had a complete set.

“Sometimes, I feel that I was just a bad influence on you.” Severus admitted.

“One, bad influences are also essential sometimes. Builds character.” Draco raised a finger in the air. “Two, you taught me how to read people.”

“Did I now?”

“I am usually perceptive of how others feel, right?” He pointed a finger in his direction. “Understanding. That’s all thanks to you, you know. Because I saw how you acted around me and how you acted around others and that difference? That taught me something. It taught me that people have layers and sometimes if you just scratch deep enough, you find enough goodness in someone to forgive them anything.”

“So I am to blame for you forgiving Riddle of all people?” Severus arched a brow.

“Maybe.” Draco shrugged. “We will never know. I just know that you being there, raising me? It’s given me perspective and perspective is never bad.”

Severus nodded, contemplating, accepting.

“You gave me perspective too.” Severus smiled. “You showed me how much span a person’s character can be. I’ve seen you go from mayhem-inducing nightmare to saving the world, after all.”

“Saved it in the worst way possible though, didn’t I?”

“That you did.” Severus laughed then turned serious again. “Remember what Dora said about that birthday party of hers?”

Draco nodded.

“I wanted to keep my distance, try not to get attached. I was convinced that when you learned about what I had done…” Severus absentmindedly touched his left forearm. “...I thought I would be thrown out, you know. So I tried to stay away but, well…”

“Dora wouldn’t let it stand?” Draco offered.

“Dora wouldn’t let it stand.” Severus agreed.

“Well, I’m glad she didn’t.” Draco grinned and stood up. “I can’t imagine not having a godfather with dark humour around. How would I ever get in Slytherin?”

“Don’t get me started on that.” Severus rolled his eyes. “I am glad she didn’t too. Life would be too boring without you getting in the way of my solitude.”

Draco grinned widely and walked away, rejoining the party.

Severus remained at the bench a bit longer. Getting into this family had been a slow process and Severus had tried to run away many times but someone always pulled him back. Dora, Andromeda, even Ted. And when Draco attained the ability to speak, well Severus knew a losing battle when he saw one. Draco had been properly attached and wasn’t going anywhere.

Severus wouldn’t want it any other way.

Chapter Text

Narcissa remembered being nine and alone. Her sisters had gone off to Hogwarts, forgetting about her. Bella wrote sometimes but Andy must have been too excited by all the new things to remember to write to her.

“What is the matter, sweetheart?” Mother asked.

Narcissa shook her head and smiled. She didn’t want to let her mother know how lonely she felt. It didn’t make sense anyway; Mother was still there with her.

Despite not saying anything, Mother noticed.

Narcissa didn’t remember the exact date it happened but it was October. Mother brought home two little kids. Sirius was five, and Regina was four. They were both lively and dragged her around the spacious house to play. She had always been the little sister, but she was the big sister to these little kids. It didn’t bother her much.

She got on admirably well with Regina, who had no other female presence in her life than Aunt Walburga, which spoke volumes. Sirius had been a bit more hesitant at first, barking at Narcissa whenever she got too close to his little sister. Narcissa found it adorable.

One day, Mother only brought Regina. Sirius had some kind of etiquette lessons. Regina looked out of place without her brother there to hold her hand. Narcissa offered to play dress up and Regina hesitantly followed her to her room.

Narcissa dug up her old clothes from the wardrobe and laid them out for Regina to choose which ones she liked. Regina didn’t choose a dress. She chose one of the few pairs of trousers Narcissa had for horse riding and a white shirt.

“You don’t like dresses?”

Regina shook her head.

“Why?”

“They get in the way.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong about that. Bella always groaned and complained about the same thing since Narcissa could remember.

“I have more old trousers if you want them.” Narcissa smiled and stuck her head inside her wardrobe again fumbling around for her old riding clothes.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it. More trousers for you, more dresses for me.” She chuckled and handed another pair of trousers to Regina.

Regina held the trousers against her chest with a giddy smile.

~~~

The first secrets Narcissa had to keep were the shenanigans her sisters got up to. Those secrets, she could easily keep buried inside. Then came the secrets that weighed her heavily.

Regina's dislike for dresses hadn’t been the first, nor had it been the hardest to keep. She even stopped having to keep it a secret when Regina became Regulus. Narcissa had been relieved that Regulus had finally found his place in the world. She couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Bella was like that too and she had just never found the support she needed. Narcissa would never know. She didn’t remember Bella before being eight after all. She hated dresses and her long hair always bothered her but she never asked for them to call her anything other than a girl, a woman, a sister.

The first big secret Narcissa had to keep was finding Bella slicing her thighs, her mind elsewhere and lost. She remembered like it was just yesterday how she had frozen, how she almost screamed for her parents to come help because Bella was bleeding. She was bleeding and if Narcissa didn’t stop this, Bella would die.

She didn’t remember what she told Bella. Her sole focus was getting the knife away from her. Adrenaline rushed through her veins as she fought to keep calm. She couldn’t freak out because Bella might plunge the offending knife right into her thigh once again.

“It’s alright, Bella.” Cissy kept her voice steady. She had to. “I promise.”

“There’s voices.” Bella cried, the sound wrenched from her throat like she had physically dragged it out. “They’re telling me to do things.”

“It will be alright.” Cissy repeated firmly. “I will make it better.”

She didn’t know how to make it feel better. She just knew that calling their parents or Andy at the moment wouldn’t have helped anyone. So she did what she could. She brought clean towels and whiskey and tried to stop Bella’s thighs from bleeding out.

Bella apologised again and again and again. Narcissa reassured her that it was okay every time. But Bella kept choking out “sorry” after “sorry” like her vocabulary had just shrunk into that one single word.

“You’re alright now.” Narcissa reached for Bella’s hair, pushing them out of her sweaty face and hoping against all hope that she could right this wrong. “I will take care of you. I won’t tell anyone. It’s alright. It will be our secret.”

Bella nodded weakly.

Later, the secret ate away at Narcissa for years. She had found Bella hurting herself again after that. Every time, Narcissa took care of her and promised again to keep the secret. She wanted to tell someone, a grown-up who would know what to do. But not their parents. Their parents couldn’t know. The Black Madness was a fairy tale their mother told them since before Narcissa could remember. She knew the symptoms, she knew how her parents would react. In the best case scenario, they would lock Bella in the dungeons and lie to the world that she died.

Narcissa wanted her sister to be free. Locking her up wouldn’t help, it would just make everything a hundred times worse.

Once, she thought about telling Andy. Then remembered Andy had always been unwilling to cover for Bella since infanthood. Narcissa didn’t tell Andy.

Andy found out anyway three years later and as Narcissa had predicted, she told their parents right away.

~~~

Two years after she had seen Bella hurting herself and before anyone else found out, she witnessed another family secret she had to keep to herself. This one, she could probably share with her sisters but she didn’t want them to know, not if she could help it.

She knew their parents’ wedding had been an arranged marriage. She was ten and getting more sensitive to human emotions by the day. Her father was having an affair with someone from work. Mother didn’t know.

She remembered that day. A house elf had brought her back home from her Latin lessons because her mother had gone to visit her parents. Her sisters had been away at Hogwarts and the house should have been empty.

She found her father over a woman’s back at his office. She hadn’t immediately understood what she was seeing. At first, she thought the woman had been a burglar and Father had pushed her down to restrain her. But Father didn’t look angry and the woman’s face betrayed pure bliss.

When Father noticed her at the door, he made the woman leave right away and then locked his office door. He had Narcissa sit down on the big chair his clients used when they visited at home. Father sat on the desk close to her and joined his hands over his knees, a beaten expression on his face.

“You mustn’t tell your mother, Cissy.”

Narcissa nodded. Somehow, she knew that Mother must not know. Because if she knew, something bad would happen.

“It was a one-time thing, Cissy.” Father continued. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”

He didn’t keep his promise.

Narcissa noticed the letters, the hidden Floo calls, the locked door of his office, and the silent moans of the women he brought inside.

She wanted to tell her mother. She wanted her to know that her husband was not… But she couldn’t.

Mother had made herself love Father. And even if Mother found out, even if Narcissa told her, Mother would just be sad. She wouldn’t leave Father. She couldn’t. Divorce wasn’t exactly accepted in pureblood families. Mother would just be miserable with no way out. And if Father knew that Mother knew, he would stop hiding. He would be parading his stupid women around the house, making Mother even sadder. No. Narcissa couldn’t say anything.

~~~

Andy had regretted telling their parents about Bella’s madness. When Father started torturing their sister to get the madness out of her, Andy came to Narcissa’s bed and asked to sleep together. Narcissa let her. She was mad at her but Andy was still her sister.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Andy whispered once all the lights were out and Narcissa’s back against her chest, leaving no space for Narcissa to turn around and look at her face. “I thought I was helping her. I didn’t know—”

Narcissa put her own hands over Andy’s.

“It will be fine. I will make it fine.”

Narcissa didn’t know how but she would make it work. She would fix this. She wouldn’t let Andy feel guilty over this forever. Narcissa just had to wait until September, until she could finally join her sisters at Hogwarts and get her wand.

If she just had a wand, she could fix this.

~~~

No wand could fix the mess her family was. That didn’t stop Narcissa from trying. Her years at Hogwarts didn’t lessen the secrets she kept at all.

The load of secrets grew by the day and this time Narcissa had to remember who she could tell a secret and who she couldn’t. Having friends meant that her circle suddenly expanded like an exponential function with no upper limit in sight. She had to keep better track of who told her which secret and from whom she had to keep it hidden.

Ted Tonks had been by far the worst secret to keep though. Narcissa hadn’t even learnt about him from Andy. No, one of her classmates came to her with the rumours and Narcissa had to deny it. She denied it because rumours of a pureblood playing around with a Muggleborn would only bring misfortune.

She denied it, but not to herself. Narcissa wasn’t blind. She had noticed Andy being happier this year. Salazar knows, after the whole situation with Bella, she deserved a little happiness. And if Ted Tonks could give her that happiness, Narcissa wouldn’t stop them. The hardest part was keeping it a secret from Bella, who also had eyes and could see the change in their sister. Narcissa had to lie to her, to reassure her that Andy’s supposed infatuation with the Tonks’ boy was a mere misunderstanding.

Hogwarts didn’t make anything easier. Narcissa had hoped she would find a friend here, someone she could tell everything, someone who could know without bringing down the end of her family. She found no one.

She had friends. She was friends with everyone in her year who managed to get into Slytherin. She even talked to purebloods and halfbloods from other houses. She was social and she had learnt how to be pleasant.

She had no one to tell her secrets to though. Not yet.

~~~

Narcissa first met Lucius Malfoy on Andromeda’s fourteenth birthday. She had seen him at Hogwarts before that of course but she was first introduced to him on that night. The night of his engagement to Andy, the night he became family.

As her new brother-in-law, Narcissa had done her best to become friends with him. Good relationships were important between family members after all.

Andy didn’t share Narcissa’s view on the subject. She found Lucius too stand-offish and lacking the Hufflepuff flavour Andy had become accustomed to. Eventually, Narcissa knew Lucius much better than his actual fiancee.

Lucius was stand-offish and frankly a bit too well-dressed for a man. Not that Narcissa minded that. Spending time with him had led them to become confidants. Lucius was the one who started the whole secret-sharing thing and Narcissa had given as good as she had taken.

She talked to Lucius about her father cheating, about Bella’s madness, about her friends’ wild secrets. She didn’t talk about Ted though. That would be a blow below the belt, considering Lucius and Andy would eventually marry.

Sharing her secrets had helped. She felt marginally better. She started seeking out Lucius’ company more and more. He was family and Narcissa had come to care about him but not to the point she had to hide things from him to make him feel good.

No, her goal was never to make Lucius feel good, not after the first week of their acquaintance, when Narcissa had been polite in an attempt to welcome Lucius into the family.

But a few months later, politeness had gone right out the window and wasn’t coming back.

“That colour makes you look like a frog.”

“Cissa.” Lucius groaned. “I don’t look like a frog.”

“You certainly do.” She chuckled. “I should get Andy to kiss you. Then, maybe you will turn into a prince.”

Lucius blushed and rolled his eyes. He always blushed at any mention of Andy. He must really love her, Narcissa giggled to herself.

Their conversations were easy and relaxed. They could spend hours talking about hair products, clothes, or shoes. Lucius had been the only person apart from her sisters that Narcissa could honestly speak her opinion.

Because Lucius was family.

~~~

In Andy and Lucius’ final year at Hogwarts, the engagement was broken.

Narcissa remembered the day she had heard the news. She remembered being heartbroken. Because that meant Lucius wouldn’t be family anymore and Narcissa would have to stay alone with her secrets once again.

She didn’t know if she could do it. Not now that Bella had gotten worse after graduating. Not now that Andy was leaving with a Muggleborn. Because that had to be the reason for breaking the engagement. And Narcissa wanted to hate Andy for it. She really did. But she had seen the smile Ted Tonks put on her face.

Narcissa spent the whole weekend lying under the covers of her bed with the curtains drawn and hoping for someone to save her from this nightmare. Anyone would do. She couldn’t be alone with her secrets again. Now that she had shared their weight, she didn’t know if she could manage it alone.

On Monday, Narcissa went to her classes normally with a stony face, all her smiles fake and fimble. She was going to get back to bed right away. She met Lucius in the common room, nodded in a shallow attempt of greeting, and then went on to her room. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

She had already put on her pajamas and brushed her teeth when she heard a commotion from the common room. Before she had any time to think too deeply about what could be happening, a flash of person entered the room and shut the door behind them.

“You would think I was committing a crime or something…” The person huffed in a familiar drawl that sounded wrong.

“Lucius?” Narcissa frowned.

Lucius turned and Narcissa blinked in confusion. Sure, it was Lucius, but there was no stubble on his cheeks or sharp edges on his face. He looked at least three years younger and…

“Why do you have boobs?”

“Gender altering potion. I had to get through the stupid “no boys” rule somehow.”

“You—”

“It’s temporary.” Lucius amended quickly. “Gonna wear off in a couple of hours. I had to see you.”

Narcissa looked at him like he had grown a second head overnight. Sure, Lucius could use some nasty words but he had always been a bit of a stickler to the rules. Stealing potions and entering the girls’ dormitory was so unthinkable for him, Narcissa wouldn’t have believed it if she wasn’t seeing it unfold in front of her.

Lucius noticed her bewildered expression and rolled his eyes.

“Some things are worth bending a few rules for.”

“Bending is an understatement.” Narcissa could barely keep from laughing. “What could possibly be so important that—”

Lucius drew closer and sunk to his knee. He pulled out a small box and with a face as red as the setting sun, he opened it, revealing the Malfoy family ring.

“Narcissa Black, will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

Alright. Now Narcissa was sure she was dreaming. Or all this was some kind of elaborate prank because Lucius couldn’t be possibly asking her to—

A glance at the boy — well, the girl at the moment — in front of her suspended her thoughts. Lucius looked at her like she held the answer to all problems, like she was the goddess who would decide his destiny and Narcissa should have felt choked by the pure devotion she could see in Lucius’ grey eyes but she didn’t.

She had spent hours braiding Lucius’ hair and having slumber parties at the Malfoy manor. She had run from the peacocks along with him all around the manor’s garden. She had read his poems and he had read her Muggle books.

Lucius was already family. If Andy wasn’t going to get him in, then Narcissa could certainly step up to the role. She didn’t want to let Lucius go, to find another pureblooded lady to marry. To become someone else’s husband or brother-in-law.

And Narcissa didn’t love him. Not in the I-want-to-marry-you kind of way. But she didn’t mind spending her life with him. He had become her dear friend, her dear brother and he could now become her dear husband.

“Yes.” Narcissa said softly.

She watched as Lucius’ eyes widened with joy and he had the ring in his hands and pushing it on her finger in seconds. It was heavy and looked foreign on her finger. In her mind, this still belonged to Andy. But it was hers now. Would rest on her finger for the rest of her life because she wanted Lucius to be family and this was the only way to get that to be true.

~~~

Narcissa grew to love Lucius in her own way. She always knew her marriage would be an arranged one. She had no illusions about falling in love. She would fall in love with whoever put a ring on her finger and that would have been enough.

Lucius had been a welcome surprise. Because Narcissa didn’t have to grow to love him; she already loved him. She just had to turn that love inside her into something more romantic. She tried to put some effort into that. She failed.

“You brought me… heart-shaped chocolate?” Lucius stared at the box in his hand then up to Narcissa, frowning. “Who are you and what have you done to my Cissa?”

“Well, we are fiances now… I thought we should… you know.” Narcissa found herself flushing, embarrassed.

“What? Amp up the romantic gestures?” Lucius chuckled softly and took one chocolate gingerly in his slender fingers. “Open wide then.”

“Wha—”

Before Narcissa could make heads or tails of what Lucius meant, the chocolate had already been pushed into her mouth.

“Lucius!” She shouted after swallowing the confection.

“You wanted romantic.” Lucius shrugged and brought a chocolate to his own mouth this time.

“I rather doubt whether stuffing my mouth with chocolates counts as romantic.” Narcissa used her handkerchief to wipe the chocolate off her lips.

“You don’t need to do that, you know.” Lucius said after swallowing. “I like our talks and I love spending time with you, which is why I proposed. You don’t have to go out of your way to fall in love with me. I know that’s not your thing.”

“Not my… What do you mean?”

“Well, you obviously aren’t that much into the whole romance thing.” Lucius frowned like Narcissa was the one not making any sense. “You’ve never even had a crush.”

“I am a pureblood.”

“And you don’t choose your husband. I get that.” Lucius smiled softly. “What I am saying is that even purebloods have crushes. They don’t act on them, of course, but they have them. I have heard you talking about your friends’ crushes more than any boy should. Yet never about yours.”

“I…” Narcissa fiddled with the hem of her skirt, feeling small and out of her depths. “I was waiting for my husband to fall in love.”

“You can’t fall in love on command, Cissa.” Lucius took her hand in his, stroking it tenderly. “And I am not asking you to. You are the brightest, most interesting lady I have ever met. I don’t need you to fall in love with me. I just want you next to me. Will you give me that, my dear?”

Narcissa nodded and she felt a weight lift off her back. Could she really not fall in love on command? What about Mother then? She fell in love with Father. Pureblood women fell in love with their husbands. That was the norm.

She remembered Lucius’ story about his parents. How his mother had stayed with his father only to have a child. How his father had always been in love with another. How his mother didn’t even care. She remembered her friends sharing similar stories. Maybe her mother was the exception, maybe the norm was…

“I love you.” Narcissa said firmly, holding onto Lucius’ hands. “I haven’t fallen in love with you yet and I don’t know if I ever truly will. But I do love you. I care about you. You are my family.”

“I know, Cissa.” Lucius smiled and dropped a soft kiss on Narcissa’s forehead. “And I could never ask for anything more. This is more than enough. This is more than my mother has ever shown my father.” He shook his head. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Cissa.”

Narcissa didn’t fall in love with Lucius, nor with anyone else. But she loved him. That was enough.

~~~

Narcissa wished she was a few years older. If she had, she would have graduated by now and she could have helped Bella. She could have been there for her. She could have saved her from their parents’ attempts to kill the madness.

But Narcissa wasn’t there and Bella found another clutch to hold her up.

“You should have seen him, Cissy.” Bella said with wonder. “That kind of power? You don’t see that every day.”

Narcissa didn’t worry at first. She actually thought this might be good for Bella. She sounded like she had fallen in love and that couldn’t be a bad thing, right?

Her gut churned every time Bella said his name though. She had a bad feeling and her bad feelings usually turned into bad situations with no way out. She had the same kind of feeling whenever Bella hurt herself, or when Andy snuck out with Ted Tonks. The tingly sensation had always been there, on and off depending on the situation, but lately, it had grown stronger. She felt awful about Bella’s new infatuation but she didn’t dare say a thing. Bella was smiling after all.

The denial stayed strong until she first lay eyes on the so-called “Dark Lord”. Whatever hesitance she had of taking away Bella’s smile vanished in thin air. Feeling something prodding against her Occlumency shield didn’t help at all. She reinforced her mental state and tried to act courteous in his presence.

As soon as they were back in the safety of their home, Narcissa pulled Bella aside and locked all the doors and windows.

“You need to stop, Bella.”

“Stop what?”

“Seeing that man.”

“What? Why?”

“He’s dangerous. You are not safe with him. You need to stay as far away as humanly possible.”

“You are making no sense, Cissy. He’s the strongest wizard we have ever met. The safest place in the world is his side.”

“Bella, please.” Narcissa wasn’t above pleading. She would do anything to make her sister see sense, to realise the looming danger around her.

Bella stared at her for a moment, then pulled her hand away from Narcissa’s grasp.

“Stop with the pleading puppy eyes. You are not a baby anymore. You can’t guilt trip me into doing whatever you want. I am older. I know better.”

Narcissa watched her sister walk away that night. Her knees shook and she let herself sink to the expensive carpet. The fact of the matter was that Narcissa had always been able to make Bella do whatever she asked. Narcissa had realised she had that power at the young age of five and made sure not to overabuse it. For it to fail now…

She had to do something. For all she knew, the Dark Lord might have brainwashed Bella. Narcissa couldn’t let that stand.

~~~

“You will do what!?” Lucius gaped. “You haven’t even graduated yet and you want to join Uncle— I mean, the Dark Lord? Are you crazy? Has the madness finally gotten to you?”

“Bella needs me.”

“You just turned seventeen last month. You can’t join the Death Eaters. I am sure your sister can take care of herself—”

“She can’t.” Narcissa said firmly. “And even if she could, she doesn’t have to. I promised I would fix her. And letting her go there, to him? That will just mess her up more.”

“Cissa, I can’t let you do this. It’s dangerous.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“If you take that mark…” Lucius bit his lip. “There’s no coming back from that.”

“The mark…?” Narcissa frowned. “How do you know about the mark?”

“That’s…”

Narcissa pinched her eyebrows together, giving Lucius an investigating glare.

Lucius, taking the Legilimency threat in stride, sighed and told Narcissa about his father. Abraxas Malfoy was a Death Eater and not just any Death Eater but the Dark Lord’s close confidant.

“Why did you never say anything?” Narcissa said.

“Mother made me promise not to say.” Lucius sighed. “Look, it’s dangerous. If you want to be close to your sister, then I will make that possible. But you are not getting that mark on your arm. Ever. You understand me?”

“But how else will I—”

“I will take the mark.” Lucius pulled her into an embrace, his hand strong against her hair. “I will get in there for you. I will keep an eye on Bella. And as my future wife, you will trusted enough to join in on the meetings. Alright?”

Narcissa pulled back and leveled Lucius with a serious glare.

“You just spent half an hour telling me how dangerous it is in there… and you are going to join? For my sake?”

“Sure.” Lucius smiled wryly. “Worst case scenario? You will become a widow early. But at least, you will be safe. I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you, Cissa. I just can’t.”

Narcissa let her weight fall on Lucius and he held her up, like a strong wall that made everything just a tiny bit more bearable.

~~~

When Father and Mother found out about Andy’s affair with a Muggleborn and her pregnancy, they burnt her off the family tree. After they chased her out, Father locked himself in Andy's room and made a mess of it, throwing things one way or another. Mother locked herself in the master bedroom and cried, and cried, and Narcissa was sure she would never stop.

Bella stayed silent throughout the argument. She was aloof like she always was when not talking about the Dark Lord lately. After her parents had locked themselves in one room or another, she stood up and went to the kitchen. She blasted any house elf who dared stand in her way away and she took one of the big knives from the cutlery knives.

She took the knife and went to her room. Narcissa followed behind her tentatively. No sooner had she entered her room, than Bella brought the knife down on her left thigh. Eyes wide and lips trembling, Narcissa followed her inside the room and locked the door behind her. If their family was playing locked doors, then she would at least make sure to get locked with Bella.

“Bella…” Narcissa said, softly, gently, and slowly pulling the knife out of Bella’s trembling hands.

Bella didn’t say anything. She ignored her bleeding thigh and let her body lean against Narcissa’s.

Narcissa threw the knife aside, pulled her in a tight embrace, and stroked her tangled hair. She should have been devastated at seeing her sister like this but she felt relief. Because if Bella still had the emotional capacity to feel wrecked about their sister leaving the family, then there was still hope for her.

Bella was still there somewhere and Narcissa would make damn sure she held on tight to that part of her big sister that remained. She wasn’t letting go, no matter what she had to do.

~~~

Narcissa considered dropping the baby when she found out. She wanted to be a mother but she felt that the circumstances were the worst possible.

Father drank more and Mother cried to sleep every night. Bella followed after the most dangerous man in the world like a happy child at Christmas, and Andy was in danger because she had married a Muggleborn. Sirius was in the Order of the Phoenix and Regulus had just managed to flee the country but it was too recent for Narcissa to feel relieved.

And Lucius… Lucius was a wreck. Serving the Dark Lord was no walk in the park. Narcissa shouldn’t have listened to him. She should have taken the mark. She had a much more resilient temperament. She would have been fine.

No, it was no time for her to bring a baby to this world. Not yet.

She told no one and she scheduled an appointment with a Healer who would keep her mouth shut. She didn’t want to go to the appointment alone but she couldn’t think of anyone who would go with her without trying to stop her. Her parents and Lucius would want her to keep it. Regulus was out of the equation. Sirius didn’t speak to her anymore. And Bella was… well, Bella couldn’t be trusted lately. For all Narcissa knew, she could ask to have the baby marked as a Death Eater before it was out of its onesies. And Andy…

Maybe Andy would understand. Even if they didn’t talk anymore. Maybe Andy would help her…

~~~

Andy wasn’t home when Narcissa visited. Surprisingly, Ted Tonks let her in with a wide grin on his face.

“She won’t admit it, but she misses her sisters.” Ted said, conspiratorily, as he led her to the kitchen. “Cup of tea?”

Narcissa accepted the offer and they sat there in easy silence.

“How is your daughter?” Narcissa asked. She hadn’t met her niece yet. She had only gotten a hastily written letter from Andy announcing that the pregnancy went fine and that it was a girl. Narcissa never found the courage to visit before.

“Oh, she’s a right menace.” Ted grinned. “Let me go get her. She’s probably trying to do something vandalising to her toys anyway. She can do that later.”

Nymphadora Tonks looked like the spitting image of Ted but had Andy’s eyes. She surveyed Narcissa with curiosity.

“That’s your Aunt Cissy, Dora.” Ted told the girl.

“Hello.” Dora said. “You are pretty.”

“Thank you.” Narcissa smiled and crouched down to Dora’s height. “You are very pretty too.”

Dora grinned widely. Narcissa had apparently passed the ‘good adult’ test because Dora started dragging her to her room, showing her her toys. Ted didn’t follow after them, just told her to holler if Dora overpowered her in any way.

Narcissa sat on the soft colorful carpet as Dora brought her one toy after another. Ted had told her about Dora’s Metamorphmagus abilities so it didn’t shock her when Dora’s turned a light blue colour.

It was smooth sailing until Dora brought out a baby doll.

“His name is Dragon.” Dora grinned. “Because he wears dragon pajamas.”

“That’s a very nice name, Dora.” Narcissa smiled. “Do you like babies?”

“Not really… They cry a lot.” Dora frowned. “They make a lot of noise in the park and they try to take my toys.”

Narcissa nodded. Her reason for not wanting a baby was nothing like Dora’s but her decision was now reinforced. Letting a noisy out of control baby in any close proximity to the Dark Lord would definitely end in tears, and not the baby’s.

“But…” Dora lifted Dragon up in the air and chuckled. “They are super cute and do funny things. Mama said she would make me one if I behaved.” Her mouth twisted to a frown. “But I don’t behave, so she isn’t making me one yet.”

Narcissa hadn’t known that Andy had been trying for another baby. It would make sense, of course. She had two sisters. Surely, she didn’t want to have an only child. Then Narcissa could not tell her about being pregnant. You didn’t go to someone who was trying to get pregnant to join you at an abortion appointment. You just didn’t.

“I have to go.” Narcissa abruptly stood up. If Andy found her there, she would know. Somehow she would figure it out.

“Why?” Dora tilted her head to the side. “I have more toys to show you.”

“Maybe next time, sweetie.” Narcissa smiled wryly. If there ever was a next time. “It was nice meeting you, Dora. You be a good girl to your parents now, alright?”

Dora nodded. Then, almost like an afterthought, she blurted out.

“Do you have kids, Auntie?”

Narcissa froze.

“I don’t.”

“You should make some.” Dora smiled shyly. “You will be a good mama. You just have to play with them like you played with me. They will like that. Then you can bring them here and I will play with them.”

Narcissa sunk back to her knees and pulled Dora in a hug. She didn’t allow herself to cry.

“What if it’s dangerous to make kids?”

“Last year, Mama took me to a ship. Big ship. I almost fell off. It was dangerous but Mama saved me. Mama and Papa always save me.”

“I see.” Narcissa choked out.

She never saw Dora or Ted again. Later she would wish to have waited for her sister to come home, to get a good last glimpse at Andy.

She kept the baby. Dora had been right. No matter how dangerous the world was, she would keep her baby safe.

She would do anything to manage that. Anything.

~~~

Lucius cried the first time he held the baby in his arms. He had always been the sensitive one.

Narcissa shed no tears as she held onto the tiny blond baby with the grey-blue eyes. When Lucius left the room to call their parents, Narcissa leaned down and whispered into the baby’s ear.

“I am going to take care of you, Draco.” She took in his smell, the sound of his breathing. “No matter what, Mummy will keep you safe.”

When the time came, she found that she could gladly give her life for her son. She had been so scared, so terrified of the Dark Lord for years. Yet now she stood in front of him and her heart didn’t race, and her breathing didn’t quicken. She just stood there and held her ground and in her final moments, she saw her son’s life flash in front of her.

His first step. His first word. His first friend. His first day at school. His first love. And Narcissa would see none of that. But Draco would get to live it all.

The green light didn’t scare her. At the last second, she glanced at Draco in the crib and knew that it was worth it.

All of it was worth it.

Chapter Text

Fleur had grown up hearing tales of her grandmother. A full-Veela who drew men to her like a magnet. Fleur had never met her. Some days her mother talked kindly about her, others she cursed her vehemently. Whatever Grandmother did to her, Mother never fully forgave.

When Fleur was younger, she was an only child. She found refuge in her dad then, when Mother got to be too much. She tended to scream at her for reasons Fleur couldn’t understand at the time. When she grew older and looked back, she understood Mother had a severe case of postpartum depression. She didn’t regain her kind demeanour — as Dad described it — until five years after Fleur’s birth.

Fleur liked having a mother that didn’t yell at her. A mother, kind enough to play with her. And play they did. Fleur spent the next four years of her life enjoying every day. Her tutoring lessons had started but Fleur always finished those quickly. She spent the rest of her day playing with Mother and Dad, when he returned from work.

Then something happened that tipped the scales.

Mother started withdrawing again. Her temper spiked randomly. It was worse than before because Fleur couldn’t predict it anymore.

Gabrielle came into life six months later. Fleur was nine.

Fleur didn’t mind Gabrielle stealing all of their parents’ attention. In retrospect, she wished it would have happened like that. Reality was much worse though.

Mother snapped. Half a year after Gabrielle was born, Mother left. None of them knew where she went, not even Dad. Little Gabrielle didn’t understand what went on around her but Fleur knew it was her fault, that she was the reason Mother left.

~~~

“How we feeling?” Dora walked in the room like a hurricane knocking around. No sooner had she entered, than the lamp fell and shattered. “Sorry.”

“When will you ever get acquainted with our room?” Fleur rolled her eyes. It had been three months since the Hogwarts Battle. Fleur and Dora had taken residence in Grimmauld two and a half months ago. Dora still hadn’t acclimated to the room though.

“Give me a couple more months.” Dora smiled wryly, then her grin widened and she walked towards the bed. “How’s our little one doing?”

In seconds, Dora stood beside her with a hand on her baby bump.

“It’s fine.” Fleur rolled her eyes.

The baby might be fine but Fleur felt hideous. She had always been slim before. It was only the fifth month and she already felt fat and ugly. She dreaded how big she was going to get.

“And how is my baby doing?”

“I told you, it’s—”

Dora kissed her softly.

“I meant you.”

“Oh.” Fleur blushed. “Fine, I suppose.”

“Really? No need for a backrub? Or a leg rub? Or maybe a hot bath?”

“It’s the middle of summer.”

“Hey, you are pregnant. If you want a hot bath, we can do a hot bath.”

“Shut up.” Fleur rolled her eyes but leaned against Dora, the comfort of her fiancée making her feel safe in her body.

They had chosen not to rush into a wedding after the War. The world was a mess, Dora had gone back to the Aurors and was busier than ever and Fleur… well, Fleur was pregnant. She didn’t want to look fat and bloated in her wedding photographs. Call her vain or whatever, but that was the truth.

They would have the wedding after the little one was born. And Fleur lost the pregnancy weight, she always added in her mind.

The little one was an accident. Dora rarely took on a male form when they got intimate and, frankly, neither woman thought Dora could actually get Fleur pregnant. They skipped out on the contraceptives and here was the result. Fleur, pregnant and unmarried. Mother would have a seizure when she found out. Fleur hadn’t told her yet. Only Gabrielle knew out of her family. She had insisted on staying in England with Fleur after the War, and she had been really supportive. Fleur dreaded the coming of September when Gabrielle would have to go back to Beauxbatons for school.

Dora’s family had been nothing but supportive though. Andromeda had brought up all the old remedies — which worked like a charm for the morning sickness and the back pain — and sweet Draco had pulled all of his friends into reading pregnancy and parenting books and dutifully reporting to Fleur and Dora anything of interest. Mind you, they proofread everything they found.

Fleur couldn’t ask for anything more as far as support went. However, she couldn’t help but be scared of how she would react after the baby was born. She had seen what pregnancy did to her mother.

~~~

Fleur took up the job of raising Gabrielle. Dad had work after all and someone had to do it.

She didn’t like it at first. She believed Gabrielle was responsible for chasing Mother away. Her feelings changed pretty quickly though.

Fleur found solace in taking care of Gabrielle. She spent hours playing with her and she could always hug her tight when she felt sad. It worked better than any teddy bear she had ever hugged. Gabrielle was warm.

Soon, the dynamic changed. Fleur didn’t even ask Dad for help regarding Gabrielle. She did everything. From feeding to changing her diapers.

Fleur had no contact with children her age for two whole years. She spent them interacting solely with her little sister and their dad. Gabrielle was two now and exploring the house had been her favourite pastime. Fleur dutifully followed her around, making sure she didn’t hurt herself.

When Fleur turned eleven, Dad started talking about school. But Fleur didn’t want to go. Who would take care of Gabrielle if she was gone?

She didn’t attend school that year. She stayed home with her sister. It was the summer of the next year when Mother returned.

~~~

“I’m considering skipping school this year.” Gabrielle said in French.

It was the end of August and she was due to leave in a couple of hours.

“Don’t speak nonsense.” Fleur scolded her. The mere idea…

“You missed school for me once.”

“That was different.”

“It isn’t.” Gabrielle sat down next to Fleur on the bed. “You’ve always been there for me. I want to do the same for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Fleur took Gabrielle’s hand in hers. “Plus, I am fine here. Dora’s family is more support than I could have asked for. And you’ve been by my side for months. Only three months are left. I reckon I can manage it.”

“I think you are mistaken.”

“Huh?”

“I wasn’t asking for permission.” Gabrielle put her hand on Fleur’s belly. “I’m announcing it to you; I’m staying here until little Teddy is born.”

Fleur opened her mouth to argue.

“No buts.” Gabrielle raised her finger in warning and smiled. “Now take your vitamins.”

~~~

Mother held herself differently after she returned. She smiled and coddled them all. She became the picture-perfect Mother.

Fleur, however, took some pride in the fact that Gabrielle still liked Fleur better. Little Gabrielle was fully attached to her big sister.

When it came time for Fleur to leave, Gabrielle cried a river. According to her dad’s letters, she never stopped crying.

Fleur got into the habit of visiting home every weekend. She had to juggle playing with Gabrielle and studying at the same time but she didn’t mind. She secretly loved spending time with her little sister again.

Mother didn’t act jealous but she must have been. Fleur noticed her expression darken whenever she looked at them playing, but she never fell into depression again.

It was years later that Fleur learnt that Mother had gotten rid of all her reproductive organs during that three-year period she was away. Fleur found it extreme but she could agree that having another child might destroy her mother for good.

~~~

“Fleur! Darling!” Draco squealed as he entered the room. He didn’t hesitate to hug her tightly and start on his usual rambling. “Oh my sweet new sister, I can’t believe you are already giving me a nephew.” He crouched down and put his mouth to the level of her swollen abdomen. “Hey, little guy. Uncle Draco’s gonna teach you how to do pranks, alright?”

“Please don’t.” Fleur chuckled.

“Can I touch?”

“Go ahead.” Fleur hated it when people touched her belly like they had an entitlement to it. Anyone but Dora and Gabrielle touching had her mad and fuming. But Draco was different. His lighthearted tone, the way he talked to her belly like the baby inside could hear… She couldn’t deny him a thing. She finally understood why so many people stood by Draco during the war; he was charming.

Draco rubbed gently at her seventh-month belly, all the while speaking to the baby.

“You keeping your mama up again, little rascal?” He asked with a pat on Fleur’s belly.

The baby answered with a kick right where Draco’s hand was.

“Well.” Draco chuckled. “At least he’s honest.”

Fleur liked having Draco around because he didn’t treat Fleur like she was pregnant. She treated her as one would treat a mother carrying her child. The baby wasn’t a part of her but a separate entity that just needed her support to grow. She liked that.

“How have you been after the war?” She asked offhandedly, catching Draco’s attention.

“Uh… fine?” Draco pulled his hand away and broke into a smile.

“You’ve been pretty busy.” Fleur specified. “I heard you are helping keep your classmates’ parents out of prison.”

“Oh, that.” He said in relief. “Yeah, that’s been a right hassle. You wouldn’t believe how much evidence we have to hunt down and burn. Thank god I’ve got the whole of FES working on it.”

Fleur knew that Draco was hiding something. Since the battle of Hogwarts, there was a shadow in his eyes that was never there before. Not even during those bleak days of the war in the Malfoy Manor. Whatever that shadow was, only the Circus knew about it. Whenever Fleur asked any of them, they would always evade the subject.

Dora didn’t know about it at first either. And after they told her, a whole month after the Battle of Hogwarts, she came home and cuddled up to Fleur until morning, refusing to talk about it. She never asked her again.

Whatever this secret was, it was taking a toll on Draco. Fleur wanted to help her new little brother somehow.

“Are you sure you are alright?” She repeated her question. “You look tired.”

“Just busy with the evidence business. I promise.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Draco.” Fleur tried again. “We are family now, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are.” Draco pulled her in another embrace. “That's why I don’t want to trouble you with this. Maybe one day… But I have all the support I need right now.”

“Does Andromeda know?” Fleur asked.

“Not yet.” Draco smiled wryly. “So, don’t worry. It’s not that I don’t think of you as family. It’s because you are family that I don’t want to burden you with this knowledge.”

Fleur didn’t ask about it again after that day. She kept a close eye on Draco, however. She felt the urge to look after him, just like she had looked after Gabrielle.

~~~

Fleur held the Circus in high esteem even before the war. Thanks to them, she got to go on her first date with Dora after all. And that was the biggest blessing anyone could give her.

Fleur had grown up being independent. She could rely on no one at school or at home. Instead, everyone at home relied on her. So she had learnt to live that way.

She didn’t make any friends at school. She was late to the dance, a whole year late. Beauxbattons believed she had the right knowledge to enter the second year even if she had missed her first. So, that was what she did. But everyone had already paired up in friend groups and Fleur was alone.

It didn’t help that after the first month, she was gone every weekend.

Boys approached her starting in her third year. Fleur had been happy, thinking they wanted to be her friends. Until she realised they were only after her attractive quarter-Veela appearance. Boys flocked to her, which in turn made the up-until-then-indifferent girls hate her. Her school life was a mess. She could only find solace in the time she spent playing with Gabrielle.

That all changed when she went on that first date with Dora. She had met her before, of course, but she had paid her no mind. She was more busy hugging her little sister who had almost drowned at the bottom of the Black Lake.

Frankly, when the Circus set up a date for her and Dora, she had believed Dora was after a friendship. She hadn’t realised Dora was after something a bit more until the fourth date, when Dora gave her a short kiss on the lips. She had pulled back in alarm, afraid of Fleur’s rejection.

Fleur had been furious at first. She had wanted a friend so much that she got angry when Dora expressed romantic interest in her. She yelled at her about how Dora was just another person who got side-tracked by the passing Veela.

Dora had caught her hand and whispered an apology.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t clear about my intentions from the start.” Dora had looked at her with teary eyes. “But it’s not… It’s not because you are a Veela or because you are the most attractive person I have seen. I swear it’s not.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s because I witnessed how strong your love can be.”

“What?”

“With your sister. You love her so much. You didn’t care about the game or being disqualified anymore. You just wanted your sister safe.” Dora looked straight in her eyes. “And I fell for that. Because I saw your priorities that day and I thought that they were the same as mine and I can’t help but feel like you are the right person for me.”

Fleur had been at a loss for words. Nobody had ever spoken of anything likeable on her except her appearance. Nobody except Dora.

Whatever followed didn’t matter much. Fleur had already decided on loving Dora starting on that day.

It took her a while to get to know her properly, to learn her strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. But Fleur had already decided that she loved all of them, all of Dora.

And if she had to fight a war for Dora and her brother? Well, count her in.

~~~

“You sure you will be alright?” Dora asked, concerned.

“Dora, for Merlin’s sake.” Fleur rolled her eyes. “I am pregnant, not an invalid.”

“But you just entered your ninth month. You could go into labour any day.”

“Dora, go do your job. I will be fine.”

“But—”

“Gabrielle is here. Andromeda and Regulus are here. You and Draco are a floo-call away. Everything is fine.”

“I’m just worried…” Dora pouted.

“I know, honey.” Fleur said, fondly. “But you can’t be on bed rest with me for a whole month. The Ministry needs you.”

“Fine…” Dora kissed Fleur goodbye. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

After she was gone, Fleur stayed alone with her thoughts. She felt enormous and ugly. And she was terrified.

The time to give birth to her child grew closer every day and Fleur didn’t want to repeat history. She didn’t want to hurt her child. But her mother didn’t want that either.

“It’s okay, baby.” She whispered to her belly. “I’m gonna try real hard, okay? And no matter what happens, I will always love you.”

She wished nothing would happen. She wished she wouldn't take off after the child was born, or worse, abused the child in the way her mother did. But she wouldn’t do that. As soon as she felt the signs, she would leave. The baby would be in good hands in the Black Family and Fleur would be back as soon as possible.

~~~

“Fleur! Have you gone crazy? Come back to France!” Her mother yelled in French, her beautiful face a contradiction to the dusty fireplace it appeared in.

“I am not leaving, Mother.” Fleur had no intention of leaving Dora in this mess. Not now that her mentor died and her brother had gone off to Merlin-knew-where.

“You are going to get yourself killed, Fleur.” She hissed. “You can have as many suitors as you please with your looks. Why would you choose to die for this woman?”

Fleur knew that Mother only thought of what was best for her. She knew that but— She didn’t know Dora. She didn’t know how her quirky smiles made Fleur all soft and pliable inside. She didn’t know anything. She never did.

“She’s the first one.” Fleur murmured shyly, like exposing the secret would make it less true. “She’s the first to see me, Mother. Me. Not my Veela heritage, or face. She saw it, Mother. And if I lose her, I am afraid I will never again be seen like that. I am afraid I will fade away, like a shadow of the man I marry. A nice trophy wife for my husband to show off to his friends. I don’t want that.”

Mother stayed silent for a while. After what felt like years to Fleur, she let out a laugh.

“Your father was blind when I met him.” She said, like sharing a secret. “But he was kind to me, and he loved me. I could feel that he loved me. And I wanted to keep him blind my whole life, so he would never fall for… for the Veela-part in me.” She sighed. “My mother didn’t like that I loved a human like her. So she… She charmed a powerful Healer into fixing your father’s eyes.”

Fleur had never heard this story before. She had heard how her parents met in a museum and how they started talking about the displays. Mother had never gone into details. Fleur could now see why.

“And you know what happened? Your father didn’t change. Because he had seen me already. The good, and the bad. He said he wouldn’t care even if I was the ugliest person in the world. That was how I knew that I had to fight for him.” A tear ran down her cheek. “Is that how this Dora makes you feel?”

“Yes, Mother.” Fleur found herself crying as well. “So please, don’t ask me to leave her to die.”

Mother nodded.

“Be careful, Fleur. I know you want to help your love but… don’t make me lose you, alright? I know I haven’t always been the best mother but I love you, Fleur. I will always love you.”

“I love you too, Mother.” She smiled. “I promise I will come back to see you again. Alive and well.”

Mother nodded and the floo call ended.

Fleur spent that night snuggling Dora and thinking of her parents. She missed them but they were safe. Dora wasn’t. Dora needed her more.

~~~

Fleur fell unconscious during the birth of her son. She woke up hours later, disoriented. She felt exhausted. Mother sat in a chair next to her bed.

“Mother? Why are you here?”

“Do you honestly believe I would let my daughter give birth all on her own?” She smiled and stroked Fleur’s cheek. “You shouldn’t have kept your pregnancy a secret, baby.”

“Mmm… Sorry.” She looked around the room again. “My son?”

“Draco and Gabrielle are taking turns feeding and putting him to sleep. Dora is crying whenever she looks at him. I reckon it will take a while for her to get used to it.”

“Sounds like her.” Fleur murmured. “Can you call them? I wanna see him.”

“Of course.”

Her mother left and two minutes later, Gabrielle came inside holding her new nephew.

“He’s adorable, Fleur. Look at him.” Gabrielle brought the baby closer.

Fleur’s first thought was that he was an ugly baby. Her second thought was that she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before with the exception of maybe Gabrielle. She took him in her arms and held him against her chest.

“So? How do you find little Teddy Tonks?” Gabrielle asked, perching herself on the side of the bed.

“Teddy Gabriel Tonks.” Fleur smiled teasingly. “I think the midwife needs to be honoured.”

Gabrielle blushed, laughed, and then drew closer to them to give her sister and her nephew a hug.

“Draco is gonna be jealous.”

“That’s Dora’s responsibility.” Fleur grinned. “She chose Teddy.”

“Fair enough. Speaking of…” Gabrielle pulled back. “I’m gonna go call her. You two need to celebrate becoming parents.”

For the next five minutes, Fleur stayed alone with Teddy. She remembered Gabrielle as a baby. Teddy looked a lot like her sister except for his brown hair. Teddy still hadn’t opened his eyes so Fleur didn’t know the colour but she didn’t think she would mind either way.

She didn’t know why she had been so afraid of meeting her son. Let alone feeling hate, she thought she could easily give up her life for him. She shouldn’t have worried so much. She had loved Gabrielle as a baby and she loved Teddy now.

Fleur heard the sound of a shattering vase out in the hallway and laughed. Moments later, Dora was in the room, bawling her eyes out at how adorable Teddy was.

“Geez. What are you going to do? Spend the next 17 years crying?”

“But he’s adorable!” Dora whined. “Draco was never that adorable as a baby. He was more…” She made indistinct gestures with her hands. “...charming. Draco was charming. But Teddy is just plain adorable and I want to hold him for days and never let him go and—” As if a bolt of lightning struck her she launched herself on the bed and took both Fleur and Teddy in her embrace. “You did such an awesome job giving birth to him, Flower.” She kissed Fleur’s cheek. “You were awesome. I love you so much.”

Fleur rolled her eyes and let Dora shower her with compliments. In the meantime, she was looking at Teddy, who after a few minutes opened his eyes to reveal a dark blue colour. It wasn’t Dora’s biological dark brown, or Draco’s grey-blue or even Gabrielle’s light blue. It was Fleur’s colour and it looked beautiful on Teddy’s chubby face.

“Yeah, he has your eyes.” Dora said, indulgently.

“And your hair.” She turned to look at her fiancée. “Otherwise, he looks just like Gabrielle did.”

“So, an eighth Veela with a high percentage of Metamorphmagus tendencies and the Black Madness?” Dora grinned and gently ruffled Teddy’s hair. “Helga, this will be a ride.”

“Getting cold feet, my dear?” Fleur chuckled.

Dora laughed that hearty laugh of hers that came all the way from the bottom of her belly, the laugh Fleur loved the most.

“Well, he can’t be worse than Draco, can he?”

“Let’s hope not.” Fleur leaned against her future wife. “I’m not sure I can handle that.”

Though, if she was honest, Fleur was ready to handle anything for this child.

Come hell or high water, she wasn’t going anywhere.

Chapter Text

Remus had found something he had never thought he would get at Hogwarts. He had found a family. It didn’t make sense that a war could destroy it all for him. He refused to accept that kind of reality.

“He betrayed us, Moony.” Sirius yelled.

“He must have a reason. I’m sure—”

“What he did,” Sirius’ voice broke, “I will never forgive.”

Remus remembered the rain that night, the cold, the tears.

Peter betrayed them, and the Longbottoms went mad.

Remus and Alice Longbottom had been friends since school. Watching her blank stare had hurt Remus just as much — if not more — as Sirius. Yet it was Sirius who picked her son up and cradled him in his arms.

Augusta Longbottom wailed as every attempt of hers to restore her son’s mind failed. Remus put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. He promised to fix it but the old lady didn’t believe him. Remus barely believed himself. He would try though.

~~~

James had whooped in joy as much as any wizard when You-Know-Who fell. The news of the young Draco Malfoy beating the dark wizard spread like hellfire. James didn’t believe it had all been the work of a little boy the age of his son but he believed that You-Know-Who had fallen and that was enough.

He couldn’t ask for anything more as hugged Lily tightly, an arm protectively cradling her baby bump. His second child would be born in a peaceful world. Lily was safe. They could stop hiding now. They were safe.

James stepped back from his wife and picked up young Harry. He twirled his little body around what had to be ten times before he fell down on the sofa, laughing, tears of joy running down his eyes.

It was only when he heard Lily’s sobbing that he stopped and looked at her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m worried.” She admitted.

“We are safe now, Lily. What are you worried about?”

Lily bit her lip, her eyes looking away.

“Is this about Snape?” James frowned.

“He’s still my friend, James.” Lily twisted her hands. “I don’t want to see him in Azkaban.”

James had never felt anything less than distaste towards Severus Snape. No matter how many times Lily tried to change his mind, James never budged. Not until now.

He hated seeing her so broken.

“I will go find him.” She said, and James couldn’t tell her no.

He was left alone with Harry, who after a few minutes of play, fell asleep on top of James. James almost fell into an easy slumber himself when the bell rang. He put Harry gingerly on the sofa to continue his nap and got up to answer the door. He expected Sirius or Remus, having gotten his location from Peter.

He hadn’t expected Peter himself to show up, looking disgruntled and terrified.

“What’s going on?” James pulled him inside and shut the door behind him. “Did anything happen to Sirius or Remus—”

Peter fell to his knees and clung to James’ robes.

“Please help me.”

“Help you from what—?”

“They threatened me.” Peter sobbed. “My mother, she— They said they would kill her if I didn’t— James, you have to believe me. I didn’t want this to happen. I swear!”

“Alright.” James crouched down and put his hands on Peter’s shoulders. “Calm down, buddy. You’re not making any sense.”

“I took the Mark, James!” Peter yelled. “I worked for them, I had to. They will hunt me down, and then, and then—”

James tuned out the rest of Peter’s rambling. The Mark… Peter had gotten the stupid Mark. Peter, whom James had chosen as his secret keeper, who could have easily given that information to You-Know-Who, who could have been the reason his family—

James pulled back, as if burned. He looked down at Peter’s crouched form and wanted to bolt. To pick Harry up, then get his wand and then, and then…

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

And James couldn’t do it. He couldn’t hurt Peter.

He had to calm down and think rationally. Peter might have gotten the Mark and he might have worked for You-Know-Who but in the end he hadn’t given James’ family’s location away. That had to count for something, right?

James crouched back down again.

“Who else knows, Peter?” James glared. “Who else knows about you?”

“Sirius saw me.” Peter choked out.

“Anyone else?”

Peter shook his head.

“No, there must be someone else.” James thought fitfully. “Who got you in the Death Eaters, Peter?”

“Lucius Malfoy.”

“And the other Death Eaters? Anyone seen you?”

Peter shook his head. “He wanted me to be a spy…”

“Good. That’s good.” James nodded. “Listen to me, Peter. I’m gonna get you out of this, alright? But you gotta lay low for a while.”

“Padfoot—”

“I’m gonna talk to him. I promise it will be okay.” James managed a smile, and spared a concerned look at his sleeping son. Could he leave Peter alone with his son? Could he trust him?

Millions of times of Peter’s mistakes raced through his mind. Peter always followed a pattern. Someone pushed him to do something stupid. Peter thought it over for days, did the stupid thing. He wallowed in self-shame and terror for a week or two and then came crying to James to beg for help and forgiveness. And it had always been James, not Sirius, who tended to overreact, or Remus, who gave off the strict Prefect vibes. Always James.

The fact that he had come to him now meant that Peter had acknowledged his mistake and he wanted to pay his dues.

“Can I entrust Harry to you for a while?” James said, softly.

Peter looked startled, not expecting to be trusted so soon.

“I need to talk to Sirius, and I suspect Lily will be a while yet.” James smiled, wryly. “Can I trust you, Peter?”

“Yes.” He nodded feverishly. “I’m not gonna disappoint you. I promise.”

James nodded, and left.

~~~

Neville wouldn’t stop crying and Sirius was being stubborn.

“You obviously have no idea how babies work.” Remus huffed. “Just hand him over.”

“No, no, I can do it.” Sirius made another failed attempt at rocking the baby. He would sooner drop it than manage to calm it down.

“Sirius, please.” Remus rolled his eyes. “You’re just making it worse.”

Sirius ignored him. Remus wanted to bash his head against the wall but didn’t want him to drop the baby.

The doorbell caught Remus’ attention and he glared at Sirius to be careful before going to answer it.

“Is this a bad time?” James asked when Remus opened the door, undoubtedly hearing Neville’s cries.

“I’m afraid it’s not going to get better except if Sirius changes personality or magically gets better at handling babies.” Remus sighed and stepped aside. “Come on in. I assume you heard the news.”

“Yeah.” James said. “What’s up with the baby?”

“Neville Longbottom.” Remus led James to the kitchen where Sirius shook the baby in another failed attempt to soothe it. “Bellatrix Lestrange got to his parents. They are in the mental ward in St Mungos right now. We are looking after him until they get better.”

“Hey, James!” Sirius greeted him as he tried to get Neville’s hands away from his hair. “Nice to be out and about again, huh?”

“Yeah.” James looked hesitant, his smile wary. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, what is it?”

James glanced at Remus uncertainly, then back at Sirius. “Alone?”

“I will take Neville.” Remus said, happy for the chance to finally calm Neville down without Sirius’ self-confidence taking a blow. He didn’t mind James wanting to talk to Sirius alone. Those two had always been way too tight and held many secrets. Remus was confident enough in his relationship with Sirius not to feel jealous when such situations arose.

Sirius begrudgingly handed Neville over and Remus watched them retreat to the bedroom as he slowly shushed Neville to sleep.

~~~

“You are joking, right?”

“He’s our friend.” James tried to remain calm.

“If he hadn’t opened his bloody mouth, Neville’s parents would not have forgotten their names!”

“Sirius, please.”

“He is on their side!” Sirius yelled.

James could discern the signs of madness in Sirius’ eyes. He got like that sometimes. James usually just had to wait him out but he didn’t have the leeway for that today.

“They forced him.” James tried. “He didn’t have a choice.”

“We all have choices.” Sirius huffed. “He’s made his choice and he gets to live with that!”

“He’s gonna end up in Azkaban—”

“He deserves that!”

“You don’t mean that.” James said. “You are angry, I get it. But, come on… it’s Peter.”

“You can’t ask this of me, Prongs.” Sirius pointed to the door. “That boy out there is practically an orphan because Peter couldn’t keep his allegiances straight.”

“I am not asking you to forgive him.” James pleaded. “I am asking you to keep what he has done a secret. You can hate him all you want. But do you really want to see him in prison? What would that accomplish?”

Sirius fell silent.

“Just…” James sighed. “Just calm down, and think about it.”

“Fine.” Sirius spouted and stomped out of the room.

James walked out after him in time to see him snatch a sleeping Neville from Remus’ arms — waking him up in the process — and go to his room like a spoiled princess who didn’t get what she wanted.

“What happened?” Remus asked, his eyes following Sirius’ retreating form.

James wondered if he should tell Remus. Upon closer inspection, Remus had his inquiring eyes on so James didn’t think he could not tell him. He spilled everything.

~~~

Remus hadn’t expected James’ visit to be about Peter of all things. The fact that James wanted to cover for him didn’t surprise Remus at all.

“This could be dangerous.” Remus said. “If other witnesses show up…”

“Not many knew. Malfoy, who got Peter in in the first place, is in Azkaban. I don’t think anyone’s going to listen to him.”

“I see.” Remus pondered the situation quietly before answering. “I have no intention of speaking against Peter in court. Sirius might be saying all that now, but he wouldn’t either. Not when push comes to shove.”

“You sure?”

“You know him. He’s all bark and no bite.” Remus smiled fondly. “But, James, I don’t think I can forgive him for what he’s done either. We are not talking about getting in trouble at school. People died because of him.”

“I know.” James wrangled his hands together. “I know, but I can’t let him go to Azkaban.”

Remus sighed. James had always been a bit of a mother hen to all of them, and most of all to Peter, who had always been more gullible than the rest of them.

“I will take care of Padfoot.” Remus finally said. “Neither of us will talk. But that’s as far as I am willing to go.”

“That’s all I could ask for.” James smiled.

“Sirius might give you the silent treatment for a while.” Remus noted. “He will come around.”

“He always does.” James huffed.

~~~

James returned home to find Peter on the floor with Harry on his shoulders and pulling his hair. Peter flinched when James entered but didn’t move much otherwise.

“H– How did—” His voice trembled.

“They won’t talk.” James sighed and collapsed on the sofa. “You sure nobody else saw you?”

Peter nodded. “Other people don’t know I can turn into a rat.”

“Right.” James nodded and watched as Harry pulled at Peter’s ears with his small hands. “I think he likes you.”

“He’s pretty active.” Peter smiled.

“Yeah, he got that from Lily.”

Peter raised a brow.

“Okay, okay. From me too.” James chuckled.

Peter stood up and gently put Harry into James’ arms.

“I better get going.”

“Where will you go?”

“My mother.” Peter made a face. “I haven’t seen her since I…” His hand stroked his forearm. “Didn’t want to put her in any more danger.”

“You better go see her then.” James smiled. “I’m sure she’s worried.”

~~~

“Padfoot, come on. Neville needs to eat.” Remus sighed. “How long are you going to stay holed up in your room?”

A growl.

“Are you seriously in animal form right now?” Remus could feel the headache coming. “What about Neville?”

No answer.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m coming in.”

He found Neville asleep on Sirius’ fur in the middle of the floor. Sirius looked resolutely ahead of him, sparing Remus no glance at all.

With another sigh, Remus entered the room and took a seat next to his lover. He slowly carded his fingers through his fur.

“It’s alright to be angry.” Remus said softly. “I am also angry, and feeling betrayed. James has to be feeling like this too. He was good friends with Alice as well.”

Sirius growled.

“I know.” Remus looked at Neville. “But getting Peter imprisoned isn’t going to bring them back.”

A whine.

“Can you imagine Peter in Azkaban? He won’t last a week.”

Sirius inclined his head in what Remus had learnt was the equivalent of a shrug.

“Exactly. And you don’t want him to die, right?”

Sirius shook his head.

“Good boy.” Remus ruffled his fur. “And we’re gonna take care of Neville until his parents are able to do it themselves again. That, unlike sending Peter to Azkaban, will make a difference.”

~~~

Two years later, James asked Peter to be the godfather to his second daughter.

“Are you sure?” Peter twiddled his fingers. “I am not exactly… You know…”

“Iris loves you.” James smiled. “She’s all ‘Uncle Peter’ this, ‘Uncle Peter’ that.”

“That’s because I bring her candy from work.”

With Lily’s help, Peter had gotten a job as an assistant at Honeydukes. He still lived with his mother despite the adequate salary he received. Not that it mattered. Both Peter and his mother looked quite happy with the arrangement. Peter probably had no intention of moving out except if he got married.

“She never sounds that happy when I bring her sweets.” James grumbled.

“Because the sweets you bring are the kinds that have foul flavours.”

“I loved those as a kid.” James whined. “Harry loves those.”

“Well, as far as I can tell, Iris and Avril prefer the ones that actually taste nice, I am afraid.”

“So,” Lily entered the room, “will you take up the godfather title?”

Peter looked between them bashfully before nodding his agreement.

James had to admit that Peter had changed a lot since the war. He stopped making mistakes. Or, more correctly, he always passed any averagely important decisions in his life through James before acting on them. It sure got him out of a lot of trouble.

~~~

Remus hadn’t talked to Peter in years so it came as a surprise to him when Remus saw him man the counter at Honeydukes. The brief exchange that followed proved awkward. Peter looked at him like Remus held him at wandpoint. Remus, for his part, tried to maintain a blank expression. They didn’t make small talk.

At the time, Sirius had mostly forgotten about Peter and his ‘vendetta’ against him. Not that he had forgiven him. The sting of betrayal wasn’t as strong, was all. And Sirius had been busy.

After what happened to the Longbottoms, Remus had decided to become a Healer. Unfortunately, mind healing required extensive training and years of experience. Remus hadn’t gotten an affinity for it yet. He was still a trainee at St Mungos and that came with long work hours.

Sirius ended up being Neville’s exclusive caretaker on most days. Remus would have felt worse if he didn’t see how much Sirius enjoyed it. Neville, a toddler now, waddled around the house curiously. Sirius happily followed after him. When Remus finally returned home after a long day at work, he would sit down and rest his feet and watch them spring around the house. Eventually Neville would tire out and come to sleep on top of Remus. Sirius usually followed right after their son.

The adoption was still unofficial. Remus didn’t know if he would ever push for it to become official. Setting aside the fact both of them were men, Remus was a werewolf and Sirius had high risks of going mad due to his family history. Yeah, no way would they have gotten the approval for it.

At first, they all thought the Longbottoms’ condition was something temporary. Augusta Longbottom spent a lot of her time visiting various mind healers abroad to ask about her son’s and his wife’s condition. Sirius and Remus looked after Neville in the meantime.

However, four years later, it had started to look more and more like their situation was permanent. Augusta didn’t seem like she wanted to take Neville from them. Not that she wasn’t involved in his upbringing. She had made it clear, however, that she thought it best two young people raise her grandson instead of a flimsy old lady. Remus wouldn’t describe Augusta as flimsy but she had a point nonetheless.

Raising a kid was more than Remus could have asked for. With his condition, he had vowed not to ever father a child, lest the lycanthropy passes on to them. He had never considered adoption either, due to his condition. Either way, he had never expected to get a child of his own to raise. But Neville was as much his and Sirius’ as he was Alice and Frank’s. They didn’t intend to erase Neville’s parents and they were ready to step back when Alice and Frank regained their sanity.

It didn’t look like that would happen any time soon though.

Remus didn’t say anything about meeting Peter that day. Sirius had calmed down. Remus didn’t want to sour the mood. He did, however, owled James and ask him to meet.

~~~

James hadn’t drifted apart from Remus or Sirius. A couple months after the war ended, the three were back to being friends. They just didn’t talk about Peter. That wouldn’t have a good ending and all knew it.

When James got Remus’ letter, he didn’t find the request to meet strange. He did, however, note that the request to keep it a secret from Sirius was peculiar.

James met Remus the next day at the Leaky Cauldron. They chose a table at a discreet corner and ordered a butterbeer each.

“So? What’s the occasion, Moony?”

“It’s about Peter.”

James' lighthearted mood walked out the window.

“What about him?”

“I saw him today.” Remus said. “At Honeydukes.”

James nodded.

“Judging by your expression, you already knew.”

“Lily helped him get that job.”

“I see.”

“So…” James fiddled with his glass.

“I was thinking…” Remus sighed. “The truth is I kinda miss him. And he looked at me like I would hand him over to the Aurors and see him rot in Azkaban. He looked afraid.”

“He is afraid.” James said. “And he feels terrible about what he did.”

“What he did, James,” — Remus leaned closer— “it’s inexcusable. People died.”

“They threatened to kill his mother, Moony.” James said, softly. “What would you have done?”

Remus looked down at his hands.

“Can you arrange a meeting?” Remus said after a few minutes of silence. “With you present.”

“It will be my pleasure.” James smiled. It would take a while longer for Sirius to change his mind but Remus wanting to meet Peter again was a great first step.

~~~

Reestablishing his friendship with Peter proved to be easier than Remus expected. It took ten awkward minutes and a couple of James anecdotes to get them going and then all was back to normal.

Naturally, there were some unspoken rules to these meetings. No talking about the war, no talking about Sirius joining them and not talking about Neville’s parents. Neither had a problem keeping to those rules.

Remus found Peter much changed. He had matured and talked carefully, in a way old Peter never did. Sometimes, he would get this uncertain look and glance at James for approval or disapproval.

“You are not his mother, you know.” Remus said to James on the way home after a meeting with Peter. “You can’t make all his decisions for him.”

“He just needs a little extra help, Moony.” James smiled, wryly. “He always did, remember? And that’s okay. As long as he knows which people to trust to guide him, then that’s fine, isn’t it?”

“He won’t be able to survive independently.”

“Not all people can live independently, Moony. Some might need a little extra help. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Remus had to concede his point. In the end, James was trustworthy and if Peter was going to have someone make his decisions for him anyway that had better be James and not the next dark wizard.

~~~

Peter looked happier since Remus started talking to him again. James could see it.

Their secret meetings went on for years before something had to give. As in, Sirius got jealous that Remus and James spent so much together and made it his life mission to follow them around.

Sirius’ reaction to finding out about Peter had been — like most of Sirius’ reactions were — dramatic. Thankfully, the Three Broomsticks were somewhat empty at the time as it was still early morning. So, before Sirius raised all the other customers to attention, Remus stood up, grabbed him and pushed him outside.

James glanced at Peter and could see the distress in his eyes.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” James put a reassuring hand on Peter’s shoulders. “Remus will deal with this.”

When Remus’ letter that he went home for the day arrived, Peter looked downright depressed.

“Sirius just needs time.” James tried.

“Yeah…” Peter murmured. “Yeah, I know.”

James asked Peter to visit his home after he finished work. Some time with the kids always cheered him up.

And everything would have mellowed out if Sirius hadn’t decided to visit as well. James caught him on the threshold when Peter was already in the girls’ room acting out a tea party.

“We gotta talk.” Sirius tried to get past James to get inside.

“Can we talk outside?” James was quick to stop him.

“It’s freezing.” Sirius frowned.

“I know but… we could use spells.” James smiled.

“He’s in here, isn’t he?” Sirius frowned.

James had never been a very good liar where Sirius was concerned. His pseudo brother could always see right through him. He pushed Sirius outside and stepped out as well. He shut the door and looked at him.

“You knew that I kept in contact with Peter.”

“Sure.” Sirius huffed. “But I didn’t know you trusted him around your kids. Are you crazy?”

“He’s great with kids. He’s Iris’ godfather.”

“I can’t believe you are allowing this.” Sirius’ eyes had that crazed glee in them. “He’s a murderer.”

“He’s not.”

“Neville’s parents—”

“It was his fault, yes.” James nodded. “But he didn’t kill anybody. Not with his own hands.”

“Does it matter if he didn’t do it directly?” Sirius huffed. “He is still to blame for—”

“You sent Snape to die once.” James said seriously. “You send him straight to Remus on the night of a full moon. He would have died, you know. If I hadn’t stopped him. Does that make you a murderer?”

“That’s different.” Sirius frowned.

“The only difference is that I managed to stop him.”

That seemed to shut Sirius up enough for the night. He left briefly after that and didn’t come back for a long time.

~~~

Remus could see that something troubled Sirius right away. He sometimes wore a thoughtful expression since his talk with James. Remus had asked James about what they had talked about but James wouldn’t tell him.

Years went by in that kind of limbo. Remus still met with James and Peter, now proudly announcing it instead of hiding it. He could make his own choices and Sirius had to accept them. In the meantime, he watched Sirius throw himself headfirst in his music career. As far as Remus knew, James and Sirius never met up on their own anymore. Not if Remus, Lily or the children were present.

Remus could see how his little family had been torn apart and he couldn’t let it stand. When Neville and Harry went to Hogwarts, Remus knew he had to try now.

It started with coaxing Sirius to join him when he met with James and Peter. Sirius refused maybe twenty times before he snapped and accepted out of spite.

It was the most awkward meeting they ever had. Worse even than the time Sirius and Remus had to talk about their new-found romantic relationship.

Sirius didn’t talk. He just glared alternatively at James or Peter. All the while, Remus fought tooth and nail to make small talk. Remus dragged Sirius to all their meetings after that, even if the conversation became stifled. Then a few weeks passed and Remus had a bright idea.

The full moon had been what tied them so strongly in the first place. Surely, it could work its magic again.

“You want to do what?” Sirius yelled. “You don’t need them here for your transformation. You got me.”

“The more, the better.”

“But—”

“What? You afraid that ‘animal you’ won’t spend the night glaring at them?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and left the room, making what Remus would describe as his ‘dramatic exit’. It didn’t matter. Sirius knew the rules. Remus could choose how to spend his transformation. That had always been the case.

And like magic, the morning after the full moon, he found rat Peter soundly asleep on top of dog Sirius with human James watching over them with a smirk, which he directed at Remus as soon as Remus woke up.

“So it worked?” Remus asked with a smile.

“Like a charm.” James grinned.

So Remus got his family back and united again. And even with the Second Wizarding War around the corner and Neville caught in the middle of it, Remus wasn’t letting anything destroy his family like that ever again.

Chapter Text

Blaise liked Pansy. They clicked immediately and got on spectacularly once they shared a dorm. She also acted as Blaise’s road to the pureblood circles. Blaise was a halfblood with a mother that had a tendency of marrying purebloods. He needed the practice.

The first time he met Pansy, he wore a too-expensive suit for the first time. Courtesy of his mother’s then-husband. Unlike the other people at the dinner party, who barely glanced at him, Pansy looked happy just to have someone her age around. So Blaise stuck with her.

Hogwarts only amplified their wonderful relationship.

Pansy had her own friends, of course, but she kept Blaise company often enough. Blaise had really started feeling like one of the purebloods. He, however, didn’t understand Pansy’s contempt for Draco Black. He played along anyway. Even if sometimes, he wanted to clap Draco in the back for a job-well-done after one of his most successful pranks.

When Pansy began asking for something more out of him, Blaise indulged her. He liked her well enough. Surely, they would make a lovely couple. Up until the point Pansy slapped him anyway. Looking back, he could admit that the wound the hippogriff caused him didn’t hurt as much as he had made it seem. He had liked how Pansy paid attention to him because of that though.

Until she didn’t. Even though she had been the one that initiated their romantic relationship, she never agreed to any of Blaise’s advancements. She didn’t even want to be kissed most of the time. Considering the possibility that she had fallen out of love, Blaise offered to break up once but Pansy put on her crocodile tears and refused.

Blaise had put up with a lot by then. He was, however, willing to give her a little more time to come to terms with the physical intimacy normally expected of couples. What she did, however, was ask him to drop the charges against the hippogriff that had mauled his arm.

He got angry then, furious. It became evident that Pansy didn’t care about him at all. He was just a decoration for her, a pretty decoration.

He shouldn’t have called her ugly. She wasn’t, not really. He was just so angry…

~~~

“Don’t you take that tone with me!” Iris yelled.

“Why? You can’t take the truth, can you? That your fashion sense is humiliating to me?”

Iris had accompanied Blaise to one of the dinner parties he had been tasked to work as a photographer for. She had worn jeans and a muggle sweater. Her attire had made Blaise’s employer furious. And who had to listen to his whining after? Blaise.

“My fashion sense is whatever I feel like wearing.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “You have a problem with it? Stop dragging me around.”

“You wanted to come for the free food.”

“You agreed to take me!”

And on and on they went.

Since Pansy and Astoria’s wedding, Iris and he had become a couple. Of sorts. Blaise had had too much to drink at that wedding. So had Iris. They woke up in each others’ arms the morning after with a hangover and the hazy memories of what had to be angry sex.

It would have ended as a one time thing if Blaise hadn’t run across Iris at another event just two weeks later. They got into another argument, and this time the angry sex had nothing to do with alcohol. Reluctantly, they exchanged mailing addresses after that.

Blaise had promised himself he wouldn’t write her. And yet, he was scrambling for quill and paper a mere two days later.

It didn’t make any sense. Blaise had never had much interaction with Iris Potter, except maybe during the War when they were both members of FES. But now… oh now, he just wanted to learn every single thing about her.

~~~

After breaking it off with Pansy, Blaise found no reason why he should still hate Draco Black. It took him a while to break out of Pansy’s mind-control. By fifth year, Blaise had managed to come to an understanding with himself and found the perfect opportunity to get close to Black during their Potions lesson.

He showed an even bigger amount of maturity when he tried out for Keeper. Black chose Weasley for the position and Blaise ended up as a measly reserve. It made him a little angry but he managed to keep his composure.

Black didn’t immediately warm up to him. So, Blaise got the big guns out. He had accidentally seen Black, Potter and Granger use the time-turner to — undoubtedly — let Lucius Malfoy escape during their third year. It was as good a threat as any. Black’s demeanor shifted and he softened.

Blaise had never really intended to tell anyone about the time-turner story. Not really. But Black didn’t know that.

Throughout the year, Blaise managed to win not only Black but also Weasley and Potter on his side. The whole Quidditch thing helped. Blaise had actually started having fun with the other boys in his year.

~~~

Iris bombed his life in a way Blaise had never expected.

Their first date had been a spying mission. Iris asked him to take photographs after she found a good hiding spot for them.

“What are we doing here?” Blaise hissed.

“See that guy over there?” Iris pointed. “He’s in charge of the new Draught of Living Dead potion. He’s making the recipe public in two weeks. Except if I find enough dirt on him to stop him.”

“Why stop him?”

“This new version of the potion is fast acting. Far too dangerous and without any go-to antidote, it will kill a lot of people.”

“What exactly is your work…?” Blaise frowned.

“Can’t talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Part of the job.” She shrugged.

“What are you? An Unspeakable?”

“You would like to know, wouldn’t you?”

Yeah, Blaise didn’t really have a chance of competing with her.

~~~

There was also the matter with Umbridge during their fourth year. Blaise had been on her Inquisitor team. Nobody had invited him to join FES back then. He only learnt about it from a conversation he overheard between Millicent and Greg. He didn’t tell Umbridge and he had committed himself to help cover for all the Slytherins by that point. Black might not see him as an ally yet, but Blaise wouldn’t let Umbridge get him if he could help it.

“I’m supposed to alert Umbridge but… well.” When Umbridge found the room and Blaise ended up chasing Black himself of all people, he fully intended to let him go. He really did.

“Do it.” Black whispered, darting his eyes everywhere. “I need to get caught.”

Blaise frowned, but did as he was told. Black looked like he had a plan. It crossed Blaise’s mind that this too might have been an elaborate prank. And the next day, Blaise’s hunch was proved right.

Umbridge was gone. And Blaise could breathe a sigh of freedom. He had joined the Inquisitor squad before he really hit it off with Black. He would have quit faster if he could manage it without looking suspicious. Well, Black got him out of the trouble it seemed.

~~~

Blaise wanted to say that he was a victim of domestic violence but the word paled in front of the sway Iris had on him.

She would lightly smack him any time he said anything insulting about their friends and would pull his ear anytime he disrespected her.

Blaise could have walked out any minute and Iris would have taken that in stride. But he didn’t want to walk away. He found that Iris slowly changed him. She made him a better person.

They fought every other day and half of those times ended in threats about breaking up. Neither of them ever followed through with those threats. One of them would go out, cool down, and then come back for some reconciliatory sex.

It was a bumpy road. Blaise had never expected love to be like this. He might not have been a pureblood but he had been in their communities for so long that he expected his future wife to have a little bit more tact.

All that went out the window when he decided on a Gryffindor though.

~~~

In his sixth year, Blaise stumbled upon a poster about FES and immediately joined. He had been wanting to join for some time now. He had asked Greg about what the meetings entailed last year and Greg had slipped up and told him. He never told him the location, however.

Blaise grinned at the poster. The location was written right there.

Surprisingly, Blaise had grown closer to Ron Weasley rather than Black or Potter. Their Keeper matches and challenges always had the added benefit of Blaise teasing him. And Blaise loved it.

By that point in time, Blaise had also gone back to amiable terms with Pansy. Although, many times Blaise would notice her looking somewhat lost in thought.

“Pans?”

“Hm? What?” She absentmindedly turned to face him.

“It’s late.” He glanced around the dark common room. “Shouldn’t you go to sleep?”

“In a bit.” She kept staring at the fire in the fireplace like it would give her the solution to her troubles.

“You sure you are okay?” Despite the two years that they didn’t speak much with each other, Blaise prided himself in knowing her well enough so he couldn’t understand what it was that bothered her so—

“I’m alright, Blaise.” She smiled at him. “Everything’s alright.”

But they weren’t. Not at all.

When the Death Eaters attacked, Blaise had mostly stayed out of their way. That didn’t stop him from noticing how defeated Pansy looked after the attack. She looked even worse during Dumbledore’s funeral.

He never found out the truth until much later.

~~~

“What do you think?” Blaise opened the box for Pansy to survey the ring. “Think she will like it?”

“Blaise, Blaise, Blaise.” Pansy shook her head. “You are asking a Gryffindor to marry you, and that Gryffindor is Iris Potter. Do you really want her to wear a ring that big? She will throttle you when she sees it.”

“But… it’s nice.”

“Of course it’s nice.” Pansy sighed. “I personally love it but Iris will hate it. She would want something small, inconspicuous and practical.”

“I hate Gryffindors.” Blaise groaned.

“And yet you want to marry one?” Pansy laughed.

“Shut up.”

~~~

Being part of FES during that nightmarish seventh year when Death Eaters roamed the halls was no walk in the park. Blaise had grown closer to all the other FES members and especially Ron.

He had watched Ron singlehandedly trying to lead FES without any of his Slytherin friends around and Blaise could do nothing but offer silent support.

“Just a few more months”, “you’re doing a great job”, “Granger would be proud”. Anything he could think about.

Ron looked like he appreciated it.

By the end of the war, Ron had become one of the first boys that Blaise would genuinely call friends. He had, however, expected that whatever friendship they built that year would disappear into thin air as soon as the War was over.

Ron proved to be a true Slytherin though.

~~~

“This one.” Ron pointed at a simple silver ring with a small discrete flower on top. “That’s an iris flower, right?”

“That’s a gladiolus flower, I think.” Blaise squinted his eyes.

“It looks like an iris.” Ron frowned. “She won’t be able to tell anyway.”

“I could ask for one with an iris on it.” Blaise mused.

“Or you could just get this one.” Ron rolled his eyes. “Come on. Trust me. She will like it.”

Ron had agreed to help him pick out an engagement ring for Iris. Blaise still hadn’t made up his mind about how he wanted to propose to her. Getting a proper ring was a good first step.

“What if she says ‘no’...?” Blaise whispered. It was a valid fear. They didn’t get along most days. Iris might not really want to proceed into something more stable.

“If she says ‘no’, I’m gonna tag along to your self-pity party, alright?” Ron patted his back. “But she won’t say ‘no’. Just give it a try.”

Ron had stayed a true friend throughout the years. Blaise couldn’t have been more glad that he had his support.

~~~

“You know, it all makes sense now.” Blaise said as he took a photograph of the flower decorations next to the altar.

“What makes sense?” Pansy kept moving the flower decorations around, not liking the color arrangements.

“Why you never wanted to… you know.”

Pansy turned to him and frowned, confused.

“When we were dating. You hardly even kissed me.”

“Oh.” Pansy took on a pitying expression that Blaise didn’t particularly like.

“It’s alright.” Blaise smiled. “I am glad it wasn’t a ‘you were the worst’ but a ‘it seems I am a lesbian after all’. Does wonders to heal an old wound, I swear.”

“I didn’t mean to toy with your feelings.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “I was desperate for a boyfriend back then. Family dogma and whatnot.”

“Yeah, I understand that now.” He put his hand on top of hers. “I am happy for you, Pansy. Astoria is a lovely woman. I don’t think you could ask for anything more, could you?”

She shook her head and smiled. “Not in a million years.”

“I will make sure to capture your lovestruck expression on camera my dear.” He winked and held up his camera. He had been overjoyed when Pansy asked him to document the wedding. He didn’t want to miss the chance to witness the happiness that followed a wedding. Not on his friend’s face.

“Don’t let your eyes stray too far until after the ceremony alright? Then, you can pick any girl you want for some fun. I’m sure they would want to kiss the ground you walk on.”

Blaise chuckled. He had no illusion about his objective handsomeness or how many girls swarmed him because of it. But he had a job to do. He could have his fun after Pansy got too drunk to pose for any photograph.

~~~

Despite his devil-may-care attitude, Blaise was a stickler for some of the traditions the purebloods came up with. One of those was the right procedure to a marriage.

So, his first step after getting the ring and coming up with a worthy speech for Iris, had been to visit James and Lily Potter.

He had only met them a couple times before. Iris didn’t indulge in family diners very often and when she did, Blaise usually had work and couldn’t attend. He had attended two family dinners and had also met the Potter could once in the Malfoy Manor while he had been visiting Ron.

The lack of familiarity didn’t deter him. Although it did make his stomach do weird somersaults. He could do this though. He took a deep breath and rang the bell.

Mrs Potter merrily opened the door only to frown when he saw him.

“Blaise? Why are you— Did something happen to Iris?”

Blaise quickly reassured her that Iris was perfectly safe and visiting Hermione Granger at the Malfoy Manor as far as Blaise knew.

“Then why are you here?” She frowned.

“I have something to discuss with Mr Potter.”

“Oh.” Blaise could see her brain working hard. “Do come in then. James will be back in a few minutes. I sent him to go pick up some supplies.”

“Thank you.” Blaise entered and took a seat on the sofa after Mrs Potter invited him to sit down. He considered what kind of small talk he could come up with when Mrs Potter helped him out.

“I have James running around all the time now.” She laughed and took a seat across from him. “Since Hermione took over the Ministry, he has so much free time. If I don’t make him do things he goes crazy. Want some tea?”

“Yes, please.”

Blaise decided to ask a bit more about Mr Potter’s retirement before changing the subject to Mrs Potter’s work. She still worked as a Potion Expert for the Ministry. When the talk died down with no sign of Mr Potter coming back, Blaise had to stop himself from nervously bouncing his leg.

Around then, a gray owl entered the house with a small note tied to its leg. Mrs Potter gingerly unfurled the note and read it. She shook her head in exasperation and gave Blaise a furtive glance.

“I’m afraid my husband has been sidetracked by one wild dog and won’t be home anytime soon.” She sighed. “However, I feel like whatever it is you wanted to tell him is very important and I think you could tell me instead. I know that doesn’t quite follow tradition but I am sure I am a worthy substitute, am I not?”

“You… uh… did you…”

“I know very well why you are here, Blaise.” She smiled. “You’ve been fidgeting in your seat the entire time you have been here. Go on. I am all ears.”

“Oh. Uh… well I… I would like to…” Blaise cleared his throat. Merlin, he was stuttering like a toddler.

“Calm down.” Mrs Potter said gently. “It’s just a formality. You know as well as I do that the final decision will not be mine or my husband’s.”

“Right.” He took a deep breath. “I would like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

Mrs Potter clapped her hands with a wide smile on her face.

“That is great news you’ve brought us, Blaise. As far as we are concerned, you are free to marry Iris.” She beamed at him. “As long as you can persuade her anyway. She’s big on independence so you might encounter some trouble there.”

“I know, ma’am.” Blaise said, fondly. Iris’ independence was one of her biggest charms. “I will do my best.”

“Good luck, Blaise.” She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I hope it all goes well.”

Blaise hoped so too.

~~~

“Hey, I’m the bridesmaid.” Iris Potter grumbled from behind him. “Why are you avoiding taking my picture?”

Blaise turned around to face her with a sigh ready on his lips.

“You look atrocious.” He informed her blandly. “I don’t even know what’s up with your clothes.”

Iris wore what had to be the ugliest dress Blaise had seen in his life. The dark pink fabric made him dizzy. Upon second look, he noticed it was charmed to give that effect. A big pansy flower decorated the middle of the dress, right around Iris’ belly and a few dozen stars danced around it.

“Haters are gonna hate.” She shrugged, unbothered. “At least I don’t look like I came out of a clothes’ commercial.”

Blaise resisted the urge to stick his tongue out.

“Just take my picture, will you?” She arched a brow.

“Fine.” Blaise made her pose at a place where the light didn’t clash with her atrocious dress and guided her into an acceptable pose for a bridesmaid. All the while, Iris grumbled about all his ridiculous orders.

After getting her pictures, Iris thankfully left him alone. He went ahead and took more photographs of the guests. He also spent half an hour sitting with Ron and whispering about the other guests. It had been the highlight of his night until Pansy finally came over, blind drunk, and told him he could relax with the camera and have some fun.

Blaise kept the camera on him but didn’t go out of his way to take more photographs except if something caught his eye. He tried to make his way back to Ron’s table when he stumbled into Iris Potter once again.

Her cheeks betrayed the amount of alcohol in her body but she didn’t look too inebriated to focus. Blaise learnt that alcohol made her mouth loose.

“It’s unfair that you get to be so handsome and yet such an asshole.”

“You’re drunk.” Blaise nodded in exasperation.

“Just a bit.” She snorted. “But I will tell you now. If you were a bit less of an asshole, I would fuck you.”

“And,” he dragged the word, “that’s proof enough that someone needs some water.” He moved to grab her shoulder and gently lead her to the drinks table.

Iris took the move for something else and fell into his arms instead.

“You know what? I think I wanna fuck you anyway.” She giggled like a schoolgirl.

“Just… let me take you to your brother, okay?” Blaise and Harry got along well enough. He didn’t want any unnecessary drama.

“Screw my brother. He’s a prude.” She pouted. “Come on, just one night? I will make it worth your while.”

“You’re drunk.”

“So are you, man.” She giggled again. “You stink of alcohol. Come on. We are two consenting adults having fun. Nobody has to know.”

“What makes you think I want to sleep with you?”

“I’m awesome?” She smirked then turned serious. “Just let me screw you once so I can get it out of my system. Then we don’t have to ever talk again.”

Blaise let her. In his defense, he had been pretty drunk as well. However, whatever excuse he might come up with later, at that moment he had been enamoured by Iris’ strong will.

~~~

Blaise had drunk two or three bottles of firewhiskey by the time Iris came home. He had decided to propose to her two weeks after he had talked with Mrs Potter. He had everything ready. Had a reservation for an expensive — but not too expensive lest Iris get queasy — restaurant with a nice balcony that would serve its purpose.

What he hadn’t accounted for, was his nerves.

He had been jittery since Iris left for work. He had cleaned the house two times over and ironed his clothes thrice to calm down. When none of these helped, he started drinking. He had meant to have a glass or two, just to calm down. He failed epically. Now, three bottles in, he doubted he could even floo in to the restaurant.

Iris found him in that state; hugging a bottle of firewhiskey in the middle of the kitchen floor and staring at the ceiling like it would give him all the answers.

“Blaise?” She frowned. “Are you… are you drunk?”

“What do you think?” He giggled.

“Why are you drunk?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Blaise.” She crouched down next to him and shoved him lightly with a laugh. “What’s going on? You never drink except if something really bothers you.”

“You bother me.” He didn’t mean to say that.

“Alright.” She chuckled. “Is this about me getting mad at you two weeks ago? I thought we were over that specific argument.”

He shook his head.

“What is it about then?”

“Your fashion sense is awful.”

“You drunk…” She looked around the kitchen. “... three bottles of firewhiskey because of my fashion sense?”

He shook his head again. Merlin, he was drunk. He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. Just that the ring was still in its box in his pocket and wanted out.

“Wanna go to bed?” Iris asked softly, grabbing his shoulder. “I will bring you some water.”

Blaise shook his head with more fervour now. He could do it. His big plans of a proposal on a balcony with a nightview had gone down the toilet but he could still do this.

He grabbed Iris’ forearm and tried to concentrate on her face.

“Iris Potter.” He gulped and fumbled as he tried to take the box out of his coat pocket. It took him longer than he liked to admit. “Will you marry me?”

Iris froze.

Blaise kept staring at her. He realised he hadn’t opened the box and let go of her forearm to do so.

“You are…” She blinked rapidly. “You are proposing to me.”

Blaise nodded.

“You are seriously proposing to me right now. This isn’t a joke or…”

He shook his head again, lost for words.

“Despite my lack of a fashion sense.”

“Despite everything.” He answered. “What… what do you think?”

“Well…” She looked down at the ring and her lips quirked upwards. “At least you didn’t choose a pretentious ring.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s the closest thing to a yes you are going to get.” She smiled.

Blaise pulled her in for a kiss that lasted forever.

There, in the middle of the kitchen floor, Blaise knew would be his best memory for a long long time.

Chapter Text

Nurmengard had been Gellert’s castle until it became his prison. Those who put him there wanted him to rot but they wanted him to rot slowly. They wanted it to be torture.

They assigned a house-elf to the castle to bring him what he needed to survive. That usually included food and water. After a year of his imprisonment and after he had already suffered enough from the ultimate cold of nature, he convinced the house-elf that took care of him, Dorian was his name, to bring him a few blankets or he would freeze to death.

When that worked, Gellert understood what Dorian’s orders had been when they stationed him there: ‘Provide him with the absolute necessities and nothing more. Don’t let him die’. The first part, unfortunately, brought many limitations but the second… The second had potential to be exploited.

It had been three years since his imprisonment and he was climbing the walls. It didn’t help that whenever he let his mind travel around it always went to Albus. His friend’s betrayal still pained him. He didn’t think he would ever get over it. He needed a distraction.

Tricking Dorian hadn’t been too hard. Gellert staged a half-hearted suicide attempt a few moments before Dorian usually brought him dinner. When Dorian found him, he made a show of ‘dying’ from boredom. And when Dorian asked how he could fix that, there was only one thing Gellert could ask for, really.

Books.

He started with magical books. He had still been searching for a way to escape back then. Dorian provided them, not knowing any better. Gellert found no way to get out of his prison inside them. He grew tired.

He asked for literature books. They provided an immersive experience that Gellert needed after being stuck inside the tower for years. When he exhausted the better part of literature done by wizards (there wasn’t much), he turned to Muggle literary works. Eventually, he went back to encyclopedias, magical and muggle. His need to learn new things overpowered his need to run away.

He stopped trying to escape ten years into his imprisonment. He had found his peace in his prison. He could have as many books as he wanted and nobody to bother him while he read them.

Some days, he wished a specific someone would bother him. That he would come in there and disturb his reading. Gellert would have welcomed it. But that someone never came.

Twenty years in, he had stopped waiting for anyone.

A couple years back, he had asked Dorian for blank parchment and a quill. He spent his days either reading or writing. He even tried drawing for a couple of years. He had a good twenty volume collection of books dictating drawing and painting techniques. Gellert had no paint or canvas though so he just did sketches. He preferred doing nature sketches but once or twice, his hand inadvertently started drawing someone’s face. Gellert tore the sketch apart and scattered the pieces out the window that allowed light in his prison.

Thirty years in, Gellert amused himself with the learning of foreign languages. Not that he had anyone to talk to, but it would allow him to read books that hadn’t yet been translated into English or German. At this point in time, Gellert had turned his attention to what else he could do within the confines of his prison knowing that he would never get out again. Ninety-three was a respectable age for a wizard to die. Any notion of him dying elsewhere had vanished. He was looking for ways to entertain himself for the rest of his natural life.

Forty years in, Gellert had learnt French, Spanish, Russian, Chinese and Japanese. After learning the basics from books he began reading actual books in those languages, advancing his fluency. Funny how much a man can learn if he is left with nothing else to do. He had surpassed a hundred years by then and he could feel the age weighing his joints. He asked Dorian to bring him Muggle books about home remedies for old age.

Fifty years in, one could say Gellert’s body was in better shape than ever before. Wizards had their spells to keep healthy, Muggles had this funny thing called exercise. Moving around had helped tone Gellert’s spirits as well. At 113, he was as healthy as someone could expect a wizard of that age to be. Whoever had imprisoned him must not have expected him to live that long. Fifty years had been a lifetime and Gellert had found peace in his new lifetime. His imprisonment had stopped being a punishment a few years ago. Gellert was thriving.

Fifty two years since his imprisonment, Gellert spent his days reading, learning, exercising and writing. He had even gotten into the habit of talking to Dorian as if they were old friends. Which, they kinda were. They had been confined in this tower for over fifty years. Dorian spent more time in Gellert’s cell now. Apparently, his orders hadn’t mentioned anything about him staying away. Dorian had been getting on in years as well but house-elves typically had longer lifespans than wizards so Dorian would probably outlast him. Gellert always wondered what Dorian would do after Gellert kicked the bucket. Probably get back to his master’s family.

Gellert had made his peace with death long ago. He was just enjoying the rest of his life at this point. That person’s face hadn’t crossed Gellert’s mind in ages. He hadn’t forgotten the betrayal but he had stopped thinking about it. It was so far behind him. That man’s face had almost faded by now. Fifty two years with no contact would do that to you. Yet in his vision, Albus’ face had been stark and clear, way older than Gellert remembered. And he saw him die. Gellert had stopped giving much attention to his visions a couple decades back. Nothing concerned him anymore. But this particular vision hit him. If Albus died, then Gellert could finally burn away that tiny expectation of Albus coming to disturb him once and for all. And he had.

Gellert hadn’t expected to see him ever again.

“Good evening, Gellert.”

The voice took him years back in a second. Back to forty years ago, when Gellert had still expected him to come disturb his reading. Back when Gellert still had many years in front of him.

Gellert didn’t look at him at first. He stayed still, unmoving. He wished his Seer abilities would have given him some prior warning to this visit instead of a fake relief that Albus had died.

“You look surprised.” Albus said. Gellert heard him take a seat at the lone chair in the room. “Didn’t expect me?”

“I didn’t.” Gellert felt numb. “I honestly thought I would never see you again.”

“Oh?”

“I Saw your death.” Gellert put down the book he had been reading and looked right at Albus. His face looked just like he had in Gellert’s vision, old and gray and still handsome. “I didn’t expect a visit before that.”

Albus didn’t look surprised at the mention of his death. That raised all kinds of flags for Gellert. Like maybe, Albus would die in a few days.

“Someone recently told me I don’t trust anyone.” Albus’ eyes looked tired and Gellert hated that he still found them beautiful. “He was right. I don’t. I never did.”

“So you came to… what? Give me a misguided confession that will make me feel even worse about it?” Gellert had trusted Albus and all he got in return was… He scoffed. “So you never trusted me. Big deal.”

“But I did.” Albus leaned forward. “I trusted you. I truly did. And isn’t it ironic that of all the people I’ve ever met, it’s only been you?”

Gellert froze. Surely his hearing had been compromised in the last fifty years. He couldn’t have heard what he thought he had.

“What are you playing at, Albus?” He asked wearily. “I am in no mood for your games. I think I’m being punished thoroughly even without your intervention.” He waved his hand, indicating his cell. “What did you really come here for? To feel better about yourself? I want no part in that.” He didn’t. Gellert had been punished for what he had done. But who would punish Albus for his betrayal to him? No one.

“The person who made me see this is a boy just shy of seventeen.” Albus ignored him. He always did that after that summer. “He told me I have no right to preach against Voldemort if I also shun love in the same way.”

“Did you go senile or something?” Gellert barely disguised his anger. “You are what? 110? And you are gonna let a wizard, who’s apparently not even of age yet, tell you what you can and can’t do? What kind of magic did he use to make you believe that?”

“That boy has a way with words.” Albus sighed. “And this boy… for years, I have been trying to turn him to my side because I need him to fight Voldemort.”

“Am I missing something here? Voldemort is the Dark Wizard that showed up after me and stole my title, right?” He hadn’t had any contact with the outside world in years. Any information he had gotten came purely from his visions. When Voldemort had risen, the whole Wizarding World was hit by a storm. It would have been impossible for Gellert’s visions to miss something as big as that. “And you want a boy to fight him?”

“It’s his destiny.”

“Big words.” Tiredly, he leaned back against the wall. “So, what is it you want from me?”

“As you said, I am going to die.” Gellert didn’t like the matter-of-fact way Albus said that. “So I need you to do what I don’t have time to do.”

Gellert looked incredulous for a moment, before laughter bore out of him. He took his book again.

“That boy is currently chasing after Horcruxes.” Albus added.

Gellert raised his eyes at that. Horcruxes were dark magic. Really dark. Evidently, the reason Albus was telling him this was because he wanted to hook him in some way. He managed it. Gellert was listening now.

“I told him it had to be a secret. That no one should know.” Albus’ eyes glinted in amusement. Gellert remembered when they did that for him. “And he’s gone and told all his friends. Now he has almost found all the remaining Horcruxes with their help. Horcruxes I’ve been looking for for years and he located them in a couple of months.”

“Sounds like a smart kid.” Gellert acknowledged. “But what does that have to do with me?”

“I decided I will take a page out of his book and ask my only true friend for help.” Albus looked outside the window.

Gellert fell silent, blinking slowly. He just couldn’t believe his ears. Could you blame him?

“You’ve definitely gone senile.” He said. “You are telling me you’ve been alive over a century and the only person you can call a ‘true friend’ is me ? A condemned criminal and public enemy? Are you even listening to yourself, Albus?”

“This is the most honest I’ve been to anyone since that summer, Gellert. I am not hiding anything from you. Not anymore.”

He sounded so honest. Gellert wanted to believe him, but he had sounded just as honest that summer. And look how that had ended…

“Why should I believe you?”

“I don’t have any good reason to give you.” Albus pulled out his wand. “So I am willing to make a deal.”

Gellert frowned. Had Albus actually gone senile? A blood pact didn’t stop Albus from betraying him. Why would Gellert believe in a deal? Albus didn’t let him speak his mind though.

“You can have the Elder wand back. Moreover, after you’ve done what I ask you of, you can also have the Resurrection Stone.” Albus held the Elder wand out to him.

His eyes widened. Collecting the Deathly Hallows was a dream Gellert had long given up on. Stupidly, he decided to bite.

“Let’s say for a moment that I believe you.” He said slowly. “What do you expect me to do to help the boy from here? I might have charmed the house elf to bring me as many books as I could dream of by using a loophole in his orders but I am still very much a prisoner here.”

“I just told you I’m giving you my wand as an up-front payment. Of course, I expect you to use it to leave this place.” Albus rolled the wand in his palm. “So?”

Gellert’s eyes swum over the room around him, the prospect of spending another decade or two in this cell with only the company of a house elf. He had found his peace with it. Yet the Elder Wand called to him. Annoyed at his own weakness, he shrugged and gestured for Albus to continue.

“Excellent.” Albus smiled.

“Just get on with it. What do you want me to do?”

“First, I have charmed this wand to be able to communicate with the Resurrection Stone, which is on a ring I intend to leave to the young boy. I will instruct him to call you through it and you will answer.”

“What? You expect me to serve a teenager for the rest of my life? I think I prefer my books.” He had found solace in his books. Babysitting a teenager, no matter how smart, wasn’t on his bingo card.

“Just until Voldemort is dead.”

“I suppose I can accept that. Go on.” There had to be a short end of this deal and this time Gellert would see it. He wouldn’t be tricked by Albus again.

“Second, and most important, I want you to tell him a very important thing I’ve kept from him all these years.”

“Oh, more of your secrets. How fascinating.” Gellert deadpanned. Really, Albus and his secrets. A match made in Heaven.

“You loved trying to find out my secrets once.”

“That was a lifetime ago.” He should have spent his time doing something more productive. The distractions of youth proved a big waste of time.

Albus smiled sadly.

“What I will tell you now,” Albus said, “the boy must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?”

“And that is?”

“Killing Voldemort.”

Gellert nodded. “Go on.”

Albus took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when his mother cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsed building.”

“You can’t possibly mean…”

“Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Draco Black, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort’s mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by him, Lord Voldemort cannot die.”

“So the boy must die?” Gellert asked calmly.

“And Voldemort himself must do it, Gellert. That is essential.”

Gellert couldn’t help it; he broke into laughter.

“So let me get this straight.” He snorted, amused more than he had in years. “You have protected this boy because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him all so he could die at the right moment?”

“The connection between the boy and Voldemort grows ever stronger. Draco will realise as much and settle things appropriately.”

Gellert looked at him in disbelief, then broke into laughter once again. He couldn’t resist. It was all so funny.

“And I’m the one imprisoned in a castle.” He laughed so much, tears pricked his eyes.

“Is it so funny, Gellert?” Albus looked unsettled. “How many men and women have you killed for your goals? How is this any different?”

He stopped laughing. “It’s different, Albus,” — he stood up — “because I have been punished for it. Who will punish you for tricking this boy?”

“You said it yourself. I will die.”

“Escape, you mean? Dying? Dying is easy.” Gellert scoffed. “You can keep telling yourself you have been punished plenty but I know better than anyone how it feels to be betrayed by you. And what you are doing to that boy? Leading him to his death? Definitely betrayal.” Poor boy. Another victim of Albus’ pretty words.

“I see you don’t care to take this deal.” Albus’s eyes hardened. He stood up.

Gellert realised he was ready to bolt and grabbed his wrist, their faces inches apart. Closer than they had been in decades.

“I will take this deal.” He wanted the wand. And the prospect of being free after Voldemort fell? Not a bad one at all. He would miss Dorian though. “But don’t kid yourself, Albus. You are not a good man. I bet you haven’t even searched for another way to do this, right? Just like you never thought of another way you could have settled that duel.” His grip tightened. “We were bonded. We promised not to fight each other. You broke the blood pact.”

“I never meant to—”

“Liar.” The word burnt on his tongue. “You’ve always been a liar. You nodded your approval when I presented my ideals. You promised to follow through. But when it all got too real, you betrayed me.”

“My family—”

“You could have found another way.” A tear ran down his cheek without his permission. “A way to keep both. But you gave me up for them. Because you are the good man, the saint. Whatever. The fact that you broke my heart doesn’t change. It never will.”

“I’m sorry.”

That gave him pause. He couldn’t remember Albus ever apologising before.

“I should have found another way.” Albus’ breath flowed out roughly. It touched Gellert’s wet cheek. “You are right. I might not be a criminal, but I am not a good man. Because I betrayed my friend ‘for the greater good’ and apparently that’s the worst crime. A Slytherin told me that. And I think he was right. So, I am sorry. I was wrong. And I know it’s too late. And, believe me, if I could go back and redo it all, I would have done it differently.”

Gellert’s grip loosened. He let his hand fall down, intertwining his fingers with Albus’ like he had done that summer for the first time. He had made the first step back then.

“You know, I intended to hold that against you for the rest of eternity.” He had promised himself he would never allow himself to be vulnerable with another person. Yet now he allowed himself to rest his head on Albus’ shoulder, taking in his scent for what surely was the last time. “I never expected to get an apology. You were always bad at those.”

Albus chuckled and it sounded like it did when he was young. If he just kept his eyes closed, he could go back to that summer for one last time, for just a moment. Albus let him.

When they pulled apart, Albus handed him the wand. It fit strangely in Gellert’s hand. He hadn’t held a wand in a lifetime.

“So this is goodbye.” Albus took a step back and it pleased Gellert that he looked reluctant to do it.

“I never expected to get a goodbye.” He admitted softly.

“The boy, Draco Black…”

“I will watch this through, Albus.” Gellert smiled. “No need for a blood pact this time.”

Albus nodded.

Gellert watched him disappear into thin air. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his image engraved in his mind for as long as possible.

~~~

Gellert didn’t leave immediately. He finished his book, waited for Dorian to bring him his lunch, and had a lengthy conversation with the elf after. He knew he couldn’t take him with him. Dorian had a wizarding family waiting for him. So he bid him goodbye in the most discreet way he could come up with.

He thanked him for everything in a letter, thankful that he had taken the time to teach Dorian how to read. In the letter, he told him that he could keep all of his books and read them whenever he wanted. He wished him a good long life and promised that Dorian would forever have his friendship.

A day after Albus’ arrival, Gellert had shrunk a dozen or so of the books he hadn’t yet read and put them in his pocket. He said goodbye to his castle in silence. Then, he jumped out the window. The Elder Wand fit nicely with his magic and the fall turned smooth with a swish of it.

The snow below his feet felt strange. Despite the freezing temperature, Gellert felt the life around him. He took a deep long breath of the Nurmengard air before he apparated away.

~~~

Gellert traveled around for a while. In the last fifty years, the world had changed a lot. People dressed differently and acted differently. He stuck to Muggle spaces at first. The moving screen had just begun making its appearance in the Muggle world before Grindelwald was imprisoned. Now it had spread everywhere.

He didn’t stay in one place for too long and he always moved in the shadows. He found himself back in Austria sooner than he would have liked. He already missed his prison castle. It had been silent there, peaceful. Now, he looked at people moving around and arguing for things that didn’t matter.

Before he stepped into the light, he had to make some changes. He bought new clothes from a Muggle store by using fake money. Properly dressed, he acquired a small hand mirror and found a secluded place to work on his face. His face had changed from age anyway but he thought it wise to change it a bit more. By now, Dorian would have informed his master that he was gone. Soon the Ministry would start searching for him.

With a new face and Muggle clothes, Gellert dared step into Diagon Alley. He walked casually but avoided eye contact with anyone. At the Leaky Cauldron, he ordered a drink and sat at a table that allowed him a good eyeful of the place without garnering attention to himself. He stayed there for a few hours, listening to the other customers speak in whispers about Voldemort and Dumbledore and Draco Black. Gellert listened. He needed the information.

He read the newspapers and walked around the British wizards. He didn’t speak to anybody but he watched them. In the tower, Gellert had forgotten how to be a person so he observed the people’s manners and new social niceties.

One day, he found Diagon Alley oddly loud. Some eavesdropping let him in on the reason. Hogwarts had been attacked. Albus Dumbledore was dead.

Gellert knew it would happen and yet…

“The funeral will be tomorrow.”

He heard a middle-aged witch say to her husband.

“Funeral…” Gellert parroted softly.

He hadn’t meant to go at first. It was dangerous and Hogwarts had wards that didn’t allow Apparition. He could slip inside with the crowd, probably. If someone asked, he could claim to be Albus’ old friend. It wouldn’t be a lie.

~~~

Gellert sneaked inside without any trouble. Nobody even asked him his name, even though he had picked a very funny-sounding name to introduce himself. Shame, really.

Seeing the grand scale of Albus’ funeral, he couldn’t help but think how hypocritical it all was, especially after Albus’s recent confession to him. Albus had told, after all, that of all the people he had met, he could only genuinely call Gellert his friend.

Some of the people in attendance, Gellert recognised. Those people looked genuinely sad that Albus had died. Others looked unbothered. Those had come out of some sort of obligation. Gellert was embarrassed to admit that he belonged to the former.

He didn’t intend to do much else than watch as they buried Albus, maybe get a final glimpse of his face if he was lucky.

Then he saw the boy.

He knew immediately which one it was. After all, Gellert had seen him in a vision many years ago. The boy he had seen had neon blue hair and Gellert saw himself burn at his wand. For a long time, he had thought that the boy had been a metaphor for something. After all, he had expected to die at the castle, alone. After he got out, he had expected that neon-blue-haired boy to be his executioner. Now, the boy’s hair wasn’t blue but brown. Still Gellert could re-interpret his vision. That boy would kill him after the war. He didn’t look much older in the vision so it would be soon.

He could still walk away now. Never make contact, never answer when the boy called. He could do anything. But he had promised Albus.

It was just like Albus to be the death of him even after he died.

Gellert charmed a note into writing and approached the boy.

“Are you Draco Black?”

The boy nodded dumbly. He looked startled.

“Open it only after the funeral.” Gellert handed the newly-magically-scribbled note to the boy.

“Who are you?” A black-haired boy next to him asked with a frown.

“You will find out soon enough.” Gellert smiled and then left. It was easy to get out of sight with how crowded the place was with people here to say goodbye to Albus.

Gellert moved to the edge of the crowd, watching silently as Albus was put to rest. Not that he deserved to rest or anything. If he could choose, he would have Albus being tortured for years before he was allowed to rest and —

When he felt the tears run down his cheeks, he cursed in German. It wasn’t fair. Albus had betrayed him, imprisoned him, why did Gellert have to cry for him?

After it was over, Gellert wiped his eyes and started walking towards the forest. He needed to be alone. To — Merlin help him — mourn.

He heard someone approach him and stopped. He magicked away the tear trails on his face and looked back at the young Black. The boy stared at him for a while.

“I will not tell you who I am.” Gellert told him.

“Can I open this?” The boy said, holding up the parchment.

“Not yet.” He replied patiently. “Wait until you get home.”

“I can’t do that. This could be a trap. How can I trust you?”

His future killer was a smart boy. Alas, Gellert was being truthful.

“The ring.” He said, remembering what Albus had told him.

The boy’s hand moved to his pocket. “How did you—”

“Call me if you need me.” Gellert said, resigned. He couldn’t believe he was allying himself with the person who would end him.

“So it’s you. The person Dumbledore told me to call.”

Gellert nodded.

“But who are you? How am I to call out to you if I don’t know who you are?”

At that, he grinned. “Read the parchment when you get home. Don’t lose the ring.”

“Wait—”

Despite knowing that he couldn’t apparate, Gellert made the attempt anyway. And to his surprise, he found himself back in the only place in Britain that he could call home: Godric’s Hollow.

~~~

Gellert spent a few hours surveying the neighbourhood. It had changed a lot since he had been here as a child, almost a century ago. No trace of his adventures with Albus remained.

When he reached his aunt’s old house, where he had spent that summer, he considered sneaking inside. Just to take a look at the old place. Surely his aunt would be dead by now. He wondered who had inherited the house. Probably some far-away cousin that Gellert hadn’t even heard about.

He was battling his curiosity when the front door opened. Gellert froze.

There she was: his aunt, old and gray and worse for wear but there all the same. She had to be at least 130 years old.

“Who’re you?” Her voice scratched against her throat.

“I, uh, I was just passing—”

“Gelly?”

Gellert blinked rapidly. How could she possibly have recognised him? She looked like she could barely see and he had changed his face.

Nonetheless, she reached over and pulled him inside. Not knowing exactly how to react, he followed her short build inside. Normally, he would have pulled away and made a run for it. Aunt or not, she could still call the Ministry on him. Today, he didn’t have it in him to run away from the only person alive who still had a memory of him as something other than the man who started a war.

“Your voice.” She stopped in front of the couch and pointed at it.

“My voice?” Gellert took a seat.

“Hasn’t changed much.” Bathilda chuckled. “What are you doing here, Gelly?”

The old nickname stirred something in him. He had spent a good summer by her side.

“Just taking a look around.” Gellert said, self-consciously. “I didn’t expect you to be, well…”

“Alive?” Bathilda flashed him a smile. “I still have a bit more life inside me, boy.”

“I can see that.” Gellert found himself smiling.

“You sound well too, boy.” Her smile faded. “I thought you would have long since died in that castle of yours.”

“I tricked the house elf into bringing me books. They kept me alive.”

“You always loved books.” Bathilda nodded fondly.

“Not more than you did.” Gellert found the conversation flowing easily after that.

His aunt showed no signs of calling the Ministry on him. He still kept his wand close and ready to apparate though. He just couldn’t relax. Eventually, Bathilda noticed his fidgeting.

“I am not telling anyone you are here.” She said like she had read his mind. “Merlin knows, 50 years are enough to pay penance.”

“Thank you.” Gellert said, swallowing the lump in his throat. He hadn’t expected this from his aunt. Although, maybe he should have…

“You can hide here for as long as you want, boy.” She winked at him. “I told you the same thing a century ago, didn’t I?”

Gellert chuckled. His parents had pretty much thrown him out after he got expelled from Durmstrang. His aunt had risen to the rescue then too. She brought him here, and provided him with a place to stay and enough books to quench his boredom. This, he had never told anyone, not even Albus, who had believed Gellert came to Godric’s Hollow because Ignatius Peverell — supposedly the first owner of the Invisibility Cloak — had been buried there. That had been a lucky coincidence and a convenient lie. He hadn't wanted Albus to know that his parents had disowned him.

“Tell you what?” Bathilda heaved herself up. “There’s way more books around now. I’ve had a century to gather them. You are welcome to any of them. Not like I can read them anymore.”

Gellert had noticed. The old lady must only be able to see shapes by now.

“That must be torture.” Gellert said.

“It is awful.” She shook her head. “I fear I will die of boredom.”

Then Gellert had a great idea.

“Let me heal your eyes for you.” Merlin knew he had read way too many books on healing magic during his first years at Nurmengard. “Think of it as repayment for all the times you’ve helped me.”

It paled in comparison but Gellert would give it his best shot. If he had any say in it, he would get this woman living to the ripe age of 150 at least.

And thus, started a housing arrangement not unlike the one they had employed a century ago. The difference lay in the simple fact that neither of them had business outside anymore. They spent their days reading books and discussing them.

Gellert couldn’t have asked for a better reading companion.

~~~

From May all the way to December, Gellert worked on Bathilda’s physical health. She looked much better now. Even her back had stopped hurting a month ago. Gellert had been proud of his work.

They still spent each day lousing around reading books. By then, Gellert had stopped worrying about the Ministry coming to get him. He had been surprised when no news of his escape had made the paper. The Ministry either tried to hide it or Dorian had tried to cover for him. Sometimes, he missed Dorian even. The elf had been his only interaction for half of his life after all. When he told his aunt about Dorian, Bathilda promised that after the war was over, she would see if she could buy the elf from his family and bring him over to keep her nephew company.

And speaking of the war, Gellert watched it unfold through the newspapers. He rarely ventured outside now except to do the grocery shopping. Draco Black still hadn’t called on him and he was grateful for the time of reprieve he had been granted with his aunt.

On a night when both had gotten a bit more tipsy than they intended, Gellert told Bathilda about Albus gifting him his wand and making him promise to assist Draco Black during the war. He hadn’t meant to make his aunt cry. He put her to sleep and vowed never to tell her that his life would end with this war. He wouldn’t speak of his vision to her. Let her hope that Gellert would make it out of this alive and keep her company for a couple more decades.

Things came to a head on Christmas Eve. He bought the paper as he did every day and went straight home. He put the groceries away and applied the daily healing spells to his aunt before he sat down with a cup of coffee — his aunt had tea — and read the paper.

He almost spit his coffee out when he read the front page.

GRINDELWALD ESCAPED

Last night, the house elf on duty in Nurmengard noticed
Gellert Grindelwald’s disappearance.
Due to the arrangement, the house elf only prepared food for Grindelwald and had the food
magically appear inside the room he was locked in. After a long time of the plates returning
to the kitchen still full, the house elf wondered if the prisoner had died and entered the room.
What it found there was an empty room with no sign of human presence except one single
message on the wall, written in blood. “I will be back.”
The Auror department has already mobilised its Aurors to find the prisoner.
We find it wise to recount some of Grindelwald’s evil deeds in this article…

“What’s wrong?” Bathilda asked, peering over her cup of tea.

He pushed the newspaper to her.

She took a couple of minutes to read the entire article then looked up and smiled at him.

“Seems like your friend Dorian did keep his mouth shut for as long as he could.”

Despite the imminent danger he was suddenly in, he found himself smiling like a child who had won a prize.

“Indeed he did.”

He wished he could see Dorian again.

~~~

A few hours later, he heard Draco Black calling him through the wand. Gellert looked at the Elder Wand like it had personally wronged him.

Unfortunately, his aunt heard the voice as well. She burst into tears and retreated to her room.

Gellert didn’t answer the call. How could he? He didn’t want to leave his aunt alone yet. He needed more time to make sure the healing spells would hold.

~~~

He Saw Draco Black’s visit a day before it happened. He hadn’t told Bathilda. When they heard the knock on the door, they reacted like every other time — since friends of Bathilda tended to visit her once a month or so — Gellert shut himself in the attic and Bathilda opened the door.

Unlike other times, however, he didn’t make himself comfortable with a book while Bathilda entertained her guests. This time, he waited.

A few minutes after the guests’ arrival, the trapdoor leading to the attic Gellert had hidden himself inside rattled. Then silence. And then he heard someone whispering “Aperio,” and watched the trapdoor open abruptly, like someone had blasted it. That struck him as strange but he waited.

He hadn’t expected a bat to pass through that trapdoor. Gellert cast an invisibility spell on himself and waited and soon, the bat transformed into the same boy with brown hair he had seen on Albus’ funeral. His hair was blue now, just like in his vision. He observed the boy. Something felt off in his magical signature and Gellert just couldn’t quite understand what. He waited until the boy opened and surveyed his wardrobe to dispel the invisibility charm and speak up.

“You took your time, Mr Black.”

The boy momentarily froze, before he slowly turned around to face him.

“You didn’t make it easy to find you.” Black said. “Grindelwald.”

Gellert grinned.

“Why are you here?” Black asked evenly. “Why this place?”

“I came to reconnect with my Great Aunt.”

“Your… Mrs Bagshot is…”

“My great aunt, indeed.” He would have worried about repercussions befalling his aunt if the Ministry realised their connection or that Bathilda was now hiding him here but he didn’t. Bathilda was a renowned historian. Everyone respected her. She would be fine. Worst case, they would think she went all senile and forgot her nephew was a convicted criminal.

“Have you been here since summer?” Black asked.

“I travelled around for a month or so. I had some unfinished business, you see.” Gellert didn’t owe Black the truth but he had no reason to lie.

“And then you came here.”

“Is it a crime to visit a family member?”

“Uncle James said she looks much better now.”

With a huff, Gellert took a seat on the bed.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing to warrant suspicion, I assure you. I just used my magic on her on a weekly basis. She’s very old, you see. Some healing spells are bound to help sustain her.”

Black narrowed his eyes.

“She’s alive and kicking. I just felt sympathy for my old aunt.” A half-truth at most but Gellert wasn’t going to try and explain to a child how his aunt had offered him a place to stay twice already.

“And you needed a place to stay, didn’t you?” Black said. “A place nobody will suspect. Why would the great Grindelwald be in this small peaceful village helping an old woman? Nobody will even consider the possibility, even if they knew you and Mrs Bagshot were related.”

Gellert chuckled. “You are a smart one, aren’t you? No wonder Dumbledore had trouble with you.” He didn’t intend to deny Black’s accusation and risk his aunt’s safety. Better let it be believed that Gellert was just using her.

Black frowned. “What was your connection with Dumbledore, really?”

“I will leave that up to your imagination.” He didn’t want to talk about it. “I can tell you how I escaped though.”

Black nodded.

“Dumbledore came to visit. Believe me, I was surprised. Dumbledore hadn’t visited me in years and years. Imagine my surprise when he appeared all gray and wrinkled and said he wanted to talk.”

“And he told you about the war that was to come.”

“Precisely. He looked weakened. I thought it was because of age, but he had been poisoned. Then, I thought I could trick him and take his wand. I was going to try but then he started on some weird kind of heart-to-heart. I listened.” Lie, lie, lie. All except the very last part.

“And then he set you free.”

“I am as surprised as you are.” Gellert huffed. “Apparently, someone talked him into the importance of friends or whatever. Frankly, I didn’t even consider him a friend anymore but Albus was determined.”

He watched Black’s face fall into recent memories and understood.

“So it was you.” He said, amused. Who would have thought? Everything just kept coming back down to this boy.

“Wh—” Black’s eyes widened. “Did you just use Legilimency on me!?”

“No, your face told me.” Gellert had always been good with reading faces. How he misread Albus so much, he didn’t know.

Draco frowned and pulled the ring Albus had given him out of his pocket. He held it out for Gellert to see. Could it really be the Resurrection Stone?

“Dumbledore told me to call your name to this and you will answer. That a friend will come if I call him.”

“A part of the deal I had with him, yes.”

“Did you trade your freedom for this?”

“I postponed my freedom.” He explained calmly. “Dumbledore helped me escape with the term of helping you win against this new Dark Lord. Then, I will be free.”

“Free to destroy the world?”

“Or just retire.” He shrugged. “I will decide on the way.” Another lie. If left alone, he had already decided he would just stay here with his aunt and read. He knew that it would be Draco’s hand that burnt him though.

“A few days ago, I called your name to the ring. Why did you not answer my call?”

“That’s simple. You didn’t need me then. I am only obligated to come when you really need me.” And definitely not because his aunt burst into crying when she heard the call.

Black’s face made some mental acrobatics, which Gellert successfully read. This boy’s face was an open book with a contents list and all.

“I hear the way you speak the name, Mr Black.”

“What?”

“You spoke it so softly. You didn’t even want me to come. Am I wrong?”

“No.” Black lowered his eyes. “You’re right. I wanted to test it out.”

“So there you have it.” Gellert said. “My deal with Dumbledore was to come when you call onto that ring until this new Dark Lord falls and then, I get the ring and disappear.”

“Is this ring really the Resurrection Stone?”

“Dumbledore said it was.”

“So I can trust you until the Dark Lord is defeated.”

“And only until then.”

“Very well,” said Black, “I will hold on to this then.”

Draco turned to leave.

“That was the deal I made with Dumbledore at least. But circumstances have changed.”

That effectively stopped Black in his tracks.

Gellert must have gone senile even considering what he intended to do next. He should stay away from the boy. If he did, maybe he would survive the war, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the boy’s offset magical signature.

“Your condition intrigues me a lot.” 

Black didn’t answer.

“You’ve done something to yourself, haven’t you? You’ve changed the essence of your magic.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I can feel it.” Gellert paused. “And you did open the trapdoor a bit too forcefully for someone wanting to stay hidden.”

Black clicked his tongue.

“So, enlighten me." His eyes glinted. "What have you done to your magic?”

“I don’t have to tell you.” The boy glared at him.

“Don’t you? But you look like you need all the help you can get.”

“I have all the help I need. I don’t need your help.” Smart boy, but Gellert was willing to let his curiosity kill the cat — him in this case.

“It looks to me like the help you have doesn’t really understand you right now. Am I wrong?”

“You must be deaf so I will say it again.” Black whisper-yelled. “I have all the help I need.”

Gellert shrugged but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Whatever you did has to be Dark magic. And I am sure you have no experts on Dark Magic, have you? Isn't everyone goody-two-shoes?”

Black frowned.

“Oh, so there is someone knowledgeable in Dark Magic on your side. Interesting.” Were all young men so easy to read? Gellert didn’t even have to try.

“I am not letting you—”

“Take the power for myself?” He said nonchalantly. “Not interested. Whatever you’ve done to yourself, I don’t think my old body will withstand it. So, no. I don’t want to steal your method, I merely want to see what happens.” Surprisingly, not a lie.

“It’s my grandfather’s research. It’s to expand my magical core.” Black said after a short pause.

“Oh? Now, that sounds like fun. But there’s no place to expand it, you would have to… Oh, you’ve shrunk your heart, haven’t you?”

“I don’t appreciate you reading my thoughts so far.”

“I am just good at reading people.” He chuckled. “Believe it or not, I never even practised Legilimency. I don’t need it.”

“But you are a strong Occlumens.”

“That’s true. It’s to ensure nobody reads my mind.” He made a dismissive gesture. “Now, how about I help you with your training?”

“I can’t trust you.”

“How can I make you trust me then?” He threw his hands open in a show of peace.

“Take down your Occlumency shields.” Black demanded. “Take them down and let me see inside your mind.”

Gellert watched him with newfound fascination. “A Legilimens on top of everything. I am impressed, Mr Black. Go ahead. My mind is open for you to see.”

Black aimed his wand at him and used Legilimency. Gellert hadn’t fully lowered his shields. He just showed Black what he wanted him to see. He let a part of his conversation with Albus be seen to convince him then blocked him out.

“You’ve seen enough, I think.”

“Yes.” Black didn’t look satisfied. “But I still don’t understand. Why would you want to help with my training?”

“I told you. It’s fascinating.”

“Is that all?”

He smiled. The biggest reason was his curiosity, yes. But it wasn’t the only one. Gellert could see himself in the boy and he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to him. Albus had said that the boy would have to die. In the short time he had talked with Black, Gellert saw a charismatic and smart young man, with magical power that could potentially change the world. It was like seeing himself but in reverse. Gellert didn’t become powerful so early on. His ambitions came first. But this boy was cautious despite the power he already held in his hands. Selfishly, he didn’t want to see Black lose or die. He wanted him to win.

Black agreed to let him help. He promised to be back in two days with an answer from the ones currently in charge of his training and left.

~~~

His aunt thoroughly scolded him for undertaking a risk so great as to accompany Draco Black — Lord Voldemort’s number one priority — along his journey.

A day later, Gellert received a note. It was a location and meeting time from what he could tell.

He had a final meal with his aunt and then packed some clothes into a magical bag that his aunt gifted him.

When it was time to leave, he wondered whether this was the last time he was seeing his aunt. He left her house as a man going to war would. Bathilda hugged him tightly and made him promise to come back. Gellert did, even if he knew that he wouldn’t. He had left a list of the spells Bathilda had to perform on herself on the daily to her and hoped that she would live a long long life still.

If asked, he would never admit that he cried a little after his departure.

~~~

At the location, he didn’t meet Draco but a man a few years older than the boy. He didn’t look agitated or scared of Gellert, which threw him off somewhat. But it didn’t feel like a trap.

“It’s dangerous for Draco to go out.” The man said. “I’m Severus Snape. I will bring you to him.”

Gellert nodded.

Snape side-alonged him on a London street. There, he gave him a handwritten note. Gellert recognised this for what it was: an invite to a place hidden behind the Fidelius spell. For whatever reason, Black trusted him way too much already.

Once he read the note, a building appeared before two others. They climbed its front porch. Severus offered his hand again and apparated them both inside.

Snape called Black, who appeared promptly. In the meantime, Gellert looked around. The house elf skulls that decorated the staircase were eerie. He hoped Dorian didn’t meet the same fate as them.

“It’s nice to see you’ve held your end of the deal.” He dragged his eyes back to Black. “I had an inkling it was a trap when this man showed up instead of you.” He pointed to Snape.

“Trouble with my mum.” Black said.

Gellert barely caught himself before he laughed out loud. He knew Black was still a child but an overprotective mother had escaped his imagination.

“That’s Regulus Black.” Snape pointed to the man standing behind Black. “He’s the one who calls the shots with the research so far.”

“Hello.” The new Black said awkwardly. “I—It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Gellert raised a brow, amused.

“Yeah, yeah, you got a fan.” Black — this would get confusing — Draco rolled his eyes. “Do come in now so we can discuss business.”

They moved to the kitchen. Regulus served him tea before he launched a nearly incomprehensible explanation about how Draco’s magical core had been altered. Snape generously added tidbits of information from time to time. By the end of it, Gellert had gotten the gist of it. The boy played a dangerous game with his body as a bargaining chip.

Gellert had expected that the residence they had brought him to would serve as training grounds for the boy. Snape, however, informed him that even if the Dark Lord couldn’t find them there, the Order of the Phoenix had access to the place. Now, that was an encounter Gellert should aim to avoid.

Regulus had spent a few years in Greece and judged it safe enough for Draco. Thus, their training place had been decided. The two men wanted to leave immediately but Draco expressed his desire to say goodbye. That was how Gellert found himself in his current situation.

Snape and Regulus alternated between asking him questions and exchanging glances. Gellert didn’t mind answering any of their questions. He told them about his deal with Albus and why Draco’s condition interested him. He only left two things unsaid; the nature of his relationship with Albus and how much his aunt had helped him. He had no reason not to speak the truth about everything else.

When Draco returned back, the four of them used a Portkey.

Gellert felt more alive than he had in ages. Surely, the excitement would kill him sooner than later but he felt young again.

The place they landed at only fortified that feeling. Wide blue spread all around him and for a long minute, Gellert could taste his freedom. Or maybe it was just the salt in the air. Close enough.

“May I ask why we are standing in the middle of the ocean?” He asked.

“No Muggles come so far out here. That’s why.” Regulus explained. “It’s a good place to POP in without anyone noticing.”

“So you want us to walk all the way to shore?” Gellert raised a brow. He found that he wouldn’t mind so much. The view was wonderful.

“Oh, of course not.” Regulus said. “The British Ministry can’t trace us so far. I will apparate you to my house.”

~~~

Regulus apparated them to a rooftop. It was quite some distance from the majestic scene but the sea was still slightly visible in the horizon and the place was high enough that the wind could still sweep you away.

The apartment Regulus mentioned was on the top floor of the building. What caught Gellert’s attention in the minimalistic apartment was the dominant color being brown. A stark difference to the grayish stone wall of Nurmengard and his aunt’s beige walls and yellowish decorations — courtesy of her House in Hogwarts.

“I’m renting it. Which means I don’t have the freedom to change those colours.” Regulus informed them. Apparently, Gellert hadn’t been the only one bothered by the colour.

The apartment had two bedrooms and Draco boldly announced he would share with him. Gellert didn’t particularly mind but he found no reason for the boy to want that. It struck him as odd but as his guardians for this trip didn’t say anything, Gellert brought up no argument.

After that bold announcement, Regulus left to take care of social business.

Gellert thought it a great idea to check the area out a bit. Snape and Draco brought up no argument, which Gellert was grateful for. He had been afraid that he would be treated as a prisoner once again but neither tried to restrain him so he took off.

The small city proved full of interesting occurrences. He noticed old women on balconies at every corner and more often than not they would be chatting with each other. He wondered where the old men were until he found them in large groups of six or more at what looked like a pub but wasn’t.

The children played on the streets with cars only passing by every now and again. After getting free, he had taken many walks in London and other countries and saw cars running along all the time, but not here. He could count the parked cars on one hand in each road and only as he walked closer to what had to be the city center did he notice the number of cars increasing.

Another odd thing he noticed was people’s faces. He saw them all smiling or pleasantly spacing out. They didn’t just greet each other with a simple ‘hi’ but they stopped walking and chatted for a few minutes before moving forward to their destinations.

Cats were everywhere.

The city had everything a city should but step about a mile away from the city center and it looked like a country town. Gellert couldn’t decide whether he liked or hated it.

He came up with one conclusion, however, which he voiced as soon as he returned to the apartment.

“Draco can’t practise here.”

“Care to elaborate?” Draco asked.

“There’s no space for him to practise around here.” Gellert explained. He had seen many open fields but none was secure enough to block prying eyes.

“Of course not.” Regulus said. “There’s a small island north of the coast. Muggles go there sometimes in summer but never in winter. We will have plenty of space for him to train.”

“You seem to know a lot about what Muggles are up to here.” Gellert noted.

“I spent some time here with them.”

Gellert had to drown the urge to ask the man more about them. In his prison, he had read many books by Muggles and he had learnt some things about them but he knew that he didn’t know the half of it and he doubted he would be given the chance to interact with them much.

The conversation trailed off to the actual training itself.

Regulus brought out what he called a ‘training menu’ and taped it to the kitchen wall.

Training

Magical Regulation
Physical Training
Everyday Charms
Defensive Charms
Offensive Charms
Transfiguration Basics
Flying
Jinxes, Hexes, Curses
Advanced Charms
Healing Spells

“Talk about a long list.” Draco said. “This will take years.”

“Why does he need physical training?” Gellert asked, squinting to read the paper. He didn’t want to use a magnifying spell in front of them and putting on his reading glasses was out of the question. He had a reputation to maintain.

“Considering his heart is a lot smaller right now,” said Regulus, “it seems wise to have him train his breathing and body enough to be able to do what he did before.”

“Magic regulation is first because we don’t want any stray spells when you are training your body.” Snape added.

“May I have a quill?” Gellert had gotten an idea.

Draco pulled out a pen and gave it to him. “Use this. It doesn’t need ink.”

Gellert drew a vertical line next to the list Regulus had written and started a second column.

Elemental Magic
Wandless Magic
Occlumency
Dark Arts
Necromancy

He paused, glanced at Draco, grinned and added another word at the end of the column.

Divination

Something told him that the kid had the gift for it.

“You are not teaching him Necromancy.” Snape said. “Dark Arts I can accept somewhat but Necromancy is out.”

“Doesn’t Draco already know Occlumency?” Regulus asked.

“My Occlumency is a bit different.” Gellert explained. He found himself willing to share all his knowledge with the boy. “And Necromancy is advanced magic. If he can do it, then he’s pretty much trained for everything.”

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?” Draco arched a brow in his direction.

Gellert smirked. Enjoying it was an understatement. After fifty years of solitude, Gellert was having the time of his life.

~~~

While Regulus and Severus worked on helping Draco regain control over his magic, Gellert taught him more and more advanced spells every day.

Pleased, he watched Draco master elemental magic in the span of a week. His magical core was still wonky and the output of his spells depended on the day but he executed the spells just fine. Evidently, the boy had learned a wide variety of spells before. He adapted easily to any new nuances in the magic Gellert taught him. He had a stronger affinity with fire — just like Gellert — so they had started with that. It took Draco hours to get his first sparks out and by the end of the first day, he could call upon the fire. In two more days, he could move it around in patterns of his choosing. It took him four days to completely master fire, three to master water, and just one to master the air.

Gellert had never taken a disciple before. He had guided or advised young men but never had he taken part in the training itself. Was this why Albus liked teaching? The rush and pride that came with your disciple succeeding? He would never know.

The second week, Gellert started teaching Draco wandless magic. He was pleased to learn that Draco had a headstart with this. Gellert didn’t have to spend much time on wandless magic. Draco admitted it was ten times easier to do now, surely an after-effect of his enlarged magical core. The boy executed spell after spell without a wand. By the end of the day, he was ready for the next step. The next day, he asked Draco to use elemental magic without a wand this time.

The boy had a gift for it. He didn’t struggle at all. Gellert would have been jealous if he was fifty years younger. Now, he could only feel satisfaction, pride, joy.

When he started training the boy on Occlumency, he surprised himself. Gellert knew that his brand of Occlumency was unique. Once, when he had been younger, he had tried to understand why he had that ability. He never found out. Not until his twelfth year in Nurmengard where he had stumbled upon a dark blue tome on Seer abilities. Being a Seer had the potential to influence one’s abilities in Legilimency and Occlumency. Gellert had never practiced Legilimency but his Occlumency was different, exceptional even. But he knew now for sure that it was an innate trait. He didn’t know if Draco could manage it.

They spent a long time on Occlumency. Gellert had to first understand exactly how to explain his Occlumency to Draco. It took many tries until something finally clicked for Draco. Once Draco felt confident that he had understood the assignment, they called Severus — who Draco explained was a Legilimens — and had him try to breach Draco’s mind shield. It didn’t work on the first try or even the tenth. Gellert kept giving pointers until finally Severus made a disgruntled sound and smacked Draco on the head.

“Don’t show me that.”

Dean grinned his Cheshire smile.

Severus glared at him. Then turned to Gellert.

“He’s done it.” He said harshly.

When Severus left, Gellert had to ask Draco about it.

“What did you show him?”

“Some intimate moments between me and my boyfriend.” Draco looked proud as he said it.

Gellert stared for a moment. He hadn’t expected that. He burst into laughter. Merlin. But the boy had a gift for amusing him.

~~~

Winter gave itself over to spring as March rolled over.

Draco’s magic had stabilised enough by then for Gellert to start him on Dark Magic. He hadn’t expected to get so far in such a short time. Draco’s progress surprised him. Any concerns about readily showing Draco all his tricks had dissipated. Gellert didn’t mind that the boy would kill him anymore.

Draco had given him something he never had before; a successor.

He readily handed over his signature shield charm, Protego Diabolica. He had never told anyone the trick behind this before. It was like hanging his mantle, passing it on to someone else. A boy with enough energy to take on the world. Gellert could see it in his eyes.

It took Draco three days to fully master it, proving how compatible he was with Gellert’s magical constitution. Now, he was convinced. Anything he could do, the boy could do too.

Excited beyond anything he had ever felt before and struggling to hide it, Gellert started the boy on Necromancy. He started with insects, then frogs, rats, cats and finally a hunting dog. The next stop would be sheep or perhaps a deer. Gellert spent the night thinking which would be a better next step when a muffled whine came from Draco’s bed.

It wasn’t the first time Draco had a nightmare since they came here. It wasn’t even the worst. Once, the boy had thrusted around so much, he would have fallen off his bed if Gellert hadn’t used a floating charm to stop him. Usually, he just let the boy fight it out in his sleep. But that night, something pushed him forward.

He walked to the bed and gently shook the boy’s shoulder.

“Draco, it’s a dream. Wake up.”

“Mm?” Sleepily Draco turned around to face him. In the dark, the tears glinted on his eyes. “What?”

“You had a nightmare.” In an act of temporary insanity, Gellert pushed the boy’s hair away from his face. “Go back to sleep.”

Draco nodded and buried his face back in his pillow.

When he lied back down, Gellert had made his decision. Gifted or not, Draco was a child. He didn’t need to sully his soul with Necromancy at such a young age. This part of his skills, Gellert could leave out. Draco had learned enough to manage intricate magic control. He didn’t need more.

The next morning, he announced to Draco that that would conclude their Necromancy training. Draco didn’t question him. Gellert felt relief when he didn’t. He didn’t want to admit that what changed his mind was Draco’s crying face in the middle of the night. That would sound weird no matter how he phrased it anyway.

And so came the time for the one part of the training that Gellert had hastily scribbled down on the bottom of the list without knowing if Draco had the gift for it or not. He didn’t have that concern anymore. Draco had displayed signs of it and he was too much like Gellert not to have the gift.

“We don’t really have to do this.” Draco said when Gellert first announced they would start Divination training.

“I thought you wanted to learn everything you can.”

Gellert had brought Draco to the uninhabited island late at night. So far away from the lights, the stars were clear and abundant in quantity. A small campfire gave them the necessary light to see each other. He wondered which would help Draco See better; the stars or the fire.

“I don’t think Divination will help with the whole… Dark Lord thing.” Draco murmured.

“You will be surprised.” In truth, Gellert didn’t know if it would help. But he wanted to teach Draco. This was the last thing he could teach him.

“Whatever I see, I can’t be sure that it’s right.”

“But it is every time though, isn’t it?”

Draco frowned.

“It is.” Gellert grinned. So he had a proper Seer in his hands, not just a sometimes right-sometimes wrong defective one.

“Stop reading my face.” Draco whined like it was Gellert’s fault that his face was so easy to read.

“You are a Seer, Draco. Whatever you see will come to pass. This lesson isn’t about you perfecting your visions. It’s about you interpreting them correctly and focusing on the details you need.” Something that had cost Gellert his own fight many years ago. He wouldn’t let Draco make the same mistakes as he did. Interpretation was a valuable skill when it came to Seers.

“The books mentioned that you are a Seer but…”

“I am.” Gellert said. “So I know how you feel about seeing the future. It’s very scary sometimes.”

“You saw it, didn’t you? Dumbledore dying.” Draco must have seen something in his eyes.

He huffed. Smart kid. “That was a leap.”

“You knew he would die even before he came to see you, right?”

“I did.” He admitted. “But I did not know he would come to visit before that.”

“Must have been a surprise.” Draco said. “Did you tell him?”

“That he would die? Of course, I told him. I even told him he would be poisoned but lo and behold, he still died.” Gellert tried to hide his frustration.

“Wasn’t it just painful? Knowing beforehand.”

“If you believe enough in your powers, then no. You just accept that it will happen.” And visions had been his only contact with the outside world for fifty years. He could either accept it or deny reality but no news came anyway. So all he could do was accept that he saw the truth. He had no way of checking.

“I saw my dad die. Both in vision and in reality.”

“And?”

“I was… I guess I was hoping it wouldn’t go like that the entire time but…”

“You need to learn how to focus on a particular situation and accept what you see. If you don’t accept it, then no one else will.” Gellert pointed to the fire between them. “Now, think about someone you know and tell me what you see in the fire.”

“In the fire?” Draco frowned.

Gellert urged him on.

Draco sighed and closed his eyes, deep in thought.

Gellert pushed a couple of daphne leaves in front of Draco’s face. “Look in the fire, Draco.”

Draco opened his eyes. Gellert watched him blink a few times before he focused his eyes on the fire. The flames danced around.

“Concentrate, Draco.” He urged on.

Gellert watched the fire take shape and frowned. Draco must have been a stronger Seer than him if he made his visions accessible to others as well. But that wasn’t the only thing that made him frown.

“No guessing. Just See.” He said. It didn’t make sense. Had Draco thought of himself? Because the one standing in the fire was surely him.

Another form joined the first and Gellert recognised him as the boy who had come to visit his aunt while Draco snuck upstairs to find him. Gellert would have felt relief at the two boys leaning against each other except he glanced at Draco and saw his eyes widen in alarm.

“Draco, stop.” Gellert said evenly. He didn’t want him to overwhelm himself.

Draco didn’t stop right away. His eyes stayed on the fire and Gellert could see his pupils dilating. He was getting too into it.

Gellert raised his wand and threw water onto the fire and Draco’s face.

Draco blinked. He looked up at Gellert like a lost puppy.

“Who did you think of?” Gellert asked, trying to keep calm. Something was wrong with the vision. He knew it.

“Rid— The Dark Lord.”

His eyes widened in alarm.

“What?”

“Draco.” He couldn’t keep the tremble out of his voice. “That was you in the fire.”

“Me?” Draco looked at him with confused eyes. “I don’t understand… I thought of the Dark Lord.”

“I believe you.” Gellert reassured him.

“Then why would I see myself?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he relit the fire and looked at it. He might not be as strong a Seer as Draco but he had more practice. The fire answered his urging immediately. He could see it clearly now. Draco stood there, but it wasn’t Draco. It was Voldemort. He concentrated on it and could see Draco making a deal with him. A deal to—

“I see.” Gellert looked right into Draco’s eyes. “I have to say, I am impressed.”

“Impressed by what?”

“By what you will do in the near future.” Gellert smiled. He couldn’t stop himself. This meant Draco wouldn’t have to die to beat Voldemort. He wanted to drag Albus back from the afterworld and show him this. Show him that this kid — a boy barely of age — had found another way.

“What?”

“I can’t tell you.” Gellert kept smiling. “Not yet anyway.”

“But—”

“Let’s get back to practice.” He would make this boy the strongest wizard alive. He would teach him everything he knew. This boy could change the world. Gellert saw it in the fire.

~~~

Draco refused to follow him back to the island for training until his friends’ operation of freeing some prisoners ended in success. Gellert didn’t even grumble about it. He showed great understanding. He had a hard time hiding his excitement when they could finally go back to training.

They always held Draco’s Seer training at night. Gellert had observed Draco enough to realise that he only had full-fledged visions at night. At least for now. If the boy’s powers grew? Gellert wouldn’t push it past him to have visions on demand.

Draco yawned, proving that he was still but a child.

“Do not complain.” Gellert lit the campfire again.

“Maybe if I could see some results, I wouldn’t be complaining.” Draco mumbled and sat down on a medium-sized rock that he had used as a seat for all his Divination training so far.

“It’s not something you can learn overnight.”

“Why am I even learning this at all…” Draco sighed. “Not that I don’t appreciate everything else you’ve taught me.”

“Being a Seer is a rare talent.” Gellert lowered himself to a nearby rock as well. “It’s a waste not to exploit it.”

“History book mentioned you used it to show events of World War II.”

“I used a skull-hookah for that. Something we don’t currently have in hand and don’t need.” Gellert said. “I am teaching you how to understand your visions. Not show them to others.”

“Fine.” Draco grunted. “So what do I have to do today? Sorry to disappoint, but I am still unable to recognise people in the fire.”

“Stop trying to recognise them with your eyes. It’s about feeling. You recognised Harry Potter just fine that first time.” The boy was all about logic and mechanics. He had a hard time letting go and just trusting his gut.

“That was a fluke." Draco sighed. "I think I should just stick to my hunch and leave full-on visions well alone. I obviously have no talent for it. Just the other day, I envisioned myself instead of Rid— the Dark Lord. I am obviously not cut for it.”

Gellert regarded Draco carefully. He had to be delicate with this. He could tell Draco what his vision meant, but he didn’t want to scare the boy away.

“If there’s something you want to say, then say it.” Draco frowned.

Gellert placed his wand on the ground between them. “Albus gave me this. My up-front payment for helping you.”

“Dumbledore’s wand?” Draco’s frown deepened. “Why would he give you his wand? Why would you want it in the first place? I get that you had no wand in prison but surely Dumbledore could have brought you another wand.”

“This isn’t just any wand. It’s the Elder wand.”

“From the fairytale? The Deathly Hallows?” Draco’s face screamed utter shock; Gellert found it amusing.

“It belonged to me before Albus beat me in that all-so-infamous duel.” He huffed.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I intend to give it to you.” He had thought about this long and hard.

“Wh— Give it to— Why?”

“I heard you talking about it with Regulus Black just yesterday after you came back from your grocery trip.” He had been surprised when he heard it. Frankly, he couldn’t believe his ears.

“Talking about what?”

“Abolishing the Statute of Secrecy.” He looked at Draco earnestly. He wanted him to understand that he was being genuine. “Your uncle dismissed your words but I could see it loud and clear. You meant it, didn’t you?”

“I…” Draco shuffled uncomfortably.

“I might have gone about it the wrong way, but the Statute of Secrecy was always my goal. And I think I finally found the right successor for my ambitions.” That wasn’t the only reason. Gellert intended for Draco to be his successor whether he had the same goal or not. The boy was charismatic and Gellert wanted to pass all his knowledge to him. When the boy spoke of abolishing the Statute of Secrecy, that had only fortified Gellert’s decision.

Gellert let Draco privately freak out about it. He watched the boy’s face do mental acrobatics. After a few seconds, he decided to put him out of his misery.

“I think you have misunderstood.” Gellert said softly. “I am an old man. I think I’ve earned my retirement. I just wanted to make sure there was someone out there chasing the same dream as me so I could happily kick the bucket. I hadn’t expected to find that in the same person Albus sent me to assist. Fate is a funny thing.”

“You tried to terrorise Muggles.” Draco said, his breathing uneven. “I want to live with them. That’s different.”

“It’s not different, just evolved.” Gellert smiled, remembering some of the Muggle fantasy novels he had read. “Back in the day, I didn’t believe Muggles could ever accept us for what we are. Controlling them was the only way I could think of to liberate wizards. Times have changed; you believe Muggles can accept us now.” He chuckled. “And to my surprise, I believe you are right. They are. They will. And you will make it happen, won’t you Draco? Not because I asked you to, but because that was your plan all along.”

Draco fell deep in thought after that. Any attempt of Gellert’s to tune him into training again failed. Eventually, he decided to end their training session early.

Gellert could hear Draco turning and grunting in his bed that night. Boy was having a right fit about this. Gellert let him. He didn’t feel like sleeping either. He closed his eyes and enjoyed Draco’s inner turmoil.

He would have made a bigger attempt to convince Draco if he didn’t know that Draco would follow through with it either way. Whether he succeeded or not was another matter altogether but Gellert had faith.

~~~

After that day, Draco kept some distance from him. They still trained in Divination but Draco’s results were poor. They didn’t have another conversation that didn’t involve Divination in some way or another. Gellert had given up on seeing the results himself. Instead, he employed Draco with all his knowledge on Divination and hoped that the boy would find a way to navigate them on his own in the future.

Gellert had to accept that the boy didn’t have any proper Divination training prior to this after all. Draco told him that he had taken lessons from a Centaur, which must have been a valuable experience, but sadly incompatible with Draco. Centaurs read the stars. They didn’t See. Draco had the gift to See, and See accurately. But his lack of training, coupled with a recently altered magical core held him back. He would find his way through though. Gellert believed in him.

Halfway through April, Regulus and Severus allowed Draco to tour the city on his own. Gellert decided to give him a week off training. Unlike the other parts of his training, Divination didn’t benefit from pressure. Maybe a change of pace would help Draco relax and See.

In that week, Gellert decided to take a short trip across the country. Unfortunately for him, Greek wasn’t a language he thought to study in Nurmengard but in the two or so months they had been here, Gellert had picked up a couple of dictionaries and had been studying. He could understand a few words and phrases. He didn’t need much more.

It was on the second day of his trip that he had a vision. It had been a long time since he had an unprompted one himself.

Gellert recognised his room in Nurmengard immediately. Dust had settled over his precious books. For one terrible moment, he thought he was once again imprisoned in it, then he noticed the wand in his hand.

Opposite him stood a bald man with snake-like characteristics. Voldemort, Gellert’s mind supplied.

“Give me the wand!”

“This? I’m afraid it’s a present from a friend. I wouldn’t want to part with it.”

“Then die—”

Gellert woke up with the shadow of sharp pain in his abdomen. It wasn’t Draco. It never was.

For the second time, he revisited his vision from many years ago.

He would be burnt by the boy with neon blue hair — but he wouldn’t be killed by him.

A wretched laugh broke out of him. He couldn’t stop himself. He was training this boy. He had made his peace with the boy killing him. He didn’t care for it at all. Only to learn that the boy wouldn’t kill him after all. The fire wasn’t the boy turning on him.

No, the fire was the boy saying goodbye. It was an act of kindness. Kindness that Gellert didn’t deserve but would get nonetheless.

“I bet you didn’t expect this, did you Albus? How long did you say you’ve been trying to get this boy on your side?” He was delirious, talking to a dead man. “It took me two months.” He laughed. It was just so funny.

~~~

Two days later, Grindelwald had been touring Acropolis when he heard Draco’s cry of desperation from his wand. He had never answered the boy’s call before but now that he wanted to, he found that locating him came easy. Must be part of the spell Albus used to connect the Elder Wand with the Resurrection Stone.

He had to first apparate back to Crete before he could recognise Draco’s exact location. To get to Draco’s location, he had to apparate there with only the map coordinates that the wand magically transmitted to his mind. It was harder apparating like this but it wasn’t Gellert’s first time, or even his tenth. His location was a few meters off but that might have been a good thing. He had the element of surprise on his side.

Seeing Draco tied up and dragged by two men had his stomach twisting. He hadn’t expected to get so protective of the boy. He wanted to kill them.

A third man walked a few paces ahead of them and on him, Gellert didn’t hesitate. He used a variant of the Killing curse on him. On the other two, he couldn’t risk hitting Draco so he got closer. The two looked around frantically, searching for the killer of their companion. They let go of Draco but were still too close for Gellert to use a lethal curse on them.

“Protego Diabolica!” He cast in their direction. In essence a protection spell but in truth it worked better as offense. The good thing about this spell was that it didn’t hurt anyone Gellert thought of as an ally. So Draco would be safe.

The men run away, burning. Gellert would have chased after them if he hadn’t gotten close enough to see Draco groaning on the ground. They must have hit him with something. He looked to be in a lot of pain.

Gellert crouched down next to him, taking a look. He didn’t like watching the boy suffer.

“I am putting you to sleep now. You will be fine.” He used an anaesthesia spell and Draco’s features softened. Gellert pushed the blond hair back with a sigh of relief. He would make sure the boy was healed, but first he had to take him somewhere safe.

~~~

Luckily, Gellert had visited the place before. He remembered the peculiar wall full of caves next to the sea and side-alonged Draco there. After putting up the necessary protective and concealment charms, he focused on Draco.

Gellert first assessed the damage, minimal, and then recognised the spell, a simple paralysing spell that targeted one’s nerves. Healing it proved no challenge for him and yet Draco didn’t wake up right away.

“Draco, come on.” He jostled the boy’s shoulder. “Come on, wake up.”

No response.

Cold sweat ran down Gellert’s neck. What if Draco was already—-

No, no. The boy was fine. He was breathing just fine. He would come to his senses soon. Gellert drew a sharp breath. Draco was fine. Gellert freaking out wouldn’t help anyone. The spell that had messed up Draco had already been reversed so Gellert tried a couple of rejuvenation spells at him.

When Draco finally gave signs of waking up, Gellert sagged against the cave’s wall in relief and tried to wipe the panic from his face. He had a reputation to maintain.

Draco woke up with a jolt. He whipped his head around and winced. He made a disgruntled groan.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Gellert said, calmly. Like he hadn’t just been contemplating using Necromancy on Draco.

“Grindelwald? Is it you…?” Draco kept his eyes closed.

“Who else did you expect? You called me.”

“I… didn’t think you would actually come.” Draco forced his eyes slightly open. He looked to be in pain. “What’s happening to me?”

“I would like to know that myself.” Gellert huffed, disguising his concern with annoyance. “Whatever spell you were hit with, I’ve already healed it. Some kind of nerve disarrangement, I think it was. Yet, you are still unwell. Something I can’t explain.”

“What about Severus and Regulus? Do they know we are here?” Draco let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

“I am not obligated to tell them where I’m going. So no, they don’t.” Gellert would have called them if he hadn’t been freaking out. Draco didn’t need to know that though.

Draco groaned and extended his hand in Gellert’s general direction. “Do you have my wand?”

Gellert frowned. Draco was in no state to use his wand, but Gellert let him have it anyway. He had the impression the boy would fight him on it if he didn’t.

Draco managed to conjure a corporeal Patronus anyway. The price for that seemed to be a headache.

“We were going to them as soon as you regained some semblance of a healthy condition.” Gellert resisted the urge to hold onto Draco, who looked like he would faint anytime. “You didn’t have to expend yourself to send that.”

“If they found me, they could find them too.” Draco clutched his head. “What happened to the Death Eaters?”

“One of them, I killed. The other two got away, I’m afraid.”

“Which means the Dark Lord will now know you are on my side on this.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Gellert smiled. After his vision, he knew that Voldemort would find out about him one way or another. If that was the price he had to pay for saving his student, Gellert was content with it. “The final battle is close now.”

“Did you really use something as tacky as ‘final battle’? This isn’t a game, you know?” Draco’s lips quirked up.

“Decisive battle then. It’s closer than you can imagine.” He would miss this kind of banter in the afterlife. He doubted anyone could be as amusing as Draco.

“How would you know that?”

“My dear student, have you learnt nothing all these months?” Gellert grinned. “I think you forget I am a Seer.”

“You make it hard to forget sometimes.” Draco rolled his eyes.

“Think you can handle an apparition in your current state?” Gellert asked.

Draco opened his eyes and blinked slowly. He tried to stand. The world spun around him and he grabbed hold of the rocky surface of the cave to stay upright. “I’m fine.”

“If you puke on me…”

“I won’t.” Draco said. “I’m alright. This… I think this is because of my magical core. That spell didn’t quite agree with the modifications I’ve made to it.”

“Oh.” But if this spell was so effective against Draco, then it would have the same effect on the other person who had a similar modification to his magical core. Gellert grinned. “Now this is an interesting twist of fate.”

“What do you mean?”

Gellert shook his head and chuckled. “The incantation for the spell is ‘Nervus Damnum’. Remember it.” He hoped the boy would remember it when it was time. He would need it.

“Why would I remember it?”

“You will see.” Gellert held his hand out for Draco to take. Everything was falling into place. Voldemort killing him, Draco burning him, the spell, Draco and Voldemort sharing a body. It didn’t matter that Gellert wouldn’t be there to see the decisive battle in person. He knew how it would unfold and he couldn’t be prouder for his successor.

~~~

As soon as they landed back in Regulus’ living room, Draco collapsed.

Gellert cursed as he supported Draco’s weight and tried to shake him awake.

“What’s going on?” Regulus emerged from the kitchen.

“He was attacked.” Gellert forced himself to stay calm.

“What’s going on with him?” He drew closer and pulled Draco’s arm over his shoulder, supporting his weight.

“He’s been hit with something. I will explain in detail later. I don’t think he will respond to any healing magic at the moment.”

The two men put Draco down on the sofa.

“I’m gonna get Severus.” Regulus bit his lip. “Stay with him.”

Regulus apparated away before Gellert could even answer. Not that he intended to go anywhere. He crouched down next to Draco and tried to think of something, anything that could stop the boy’s suffering but he drew up short.

Most likely, when Gellert reversed the nerve-damaging spell, he reversed Draco’s body to its factory settings — a term Draco had taught him about Muggle devices some weeks ago — but Draco’s body hadn’t been operating on factory settings for a long time.

“You better be alright, or I won’t die, okay? Trust me, you don’t want that. My death is vital to winning this war without…” Gellert drew a shaky breath. “It’s either your death or mine, Draco. So you better wake up.”

~~~

Moments later, Regulus returned with a frantic Severus in tow. He took one look at Draco then glared at Gellert.

“You should have told us he called for you.” He yelled.

“I don’t remember you being my guardian.” He would have called if he had been clear-headed. He wasn’t.

“I am Draco’s though!”

“Fighting can wait for later. We need to leave. This place isn’t safe anymore.” Regulus interfered.

“Draco won’t withstand another apparition in that state.” Gellert lied. He might survive it but he didn’t want to put the boy through more pain.

“Why is he even in that state?” Severus demanded.

“He was attacked. I told you so.”

“Then why have you not healed him yet? I thought that was within your capabilities!”

“I have healed him. Whatever this is, it has to do with his body.” Gellert tried not to sound bothered by his inability to help Draco. “He said it might be because of his magical core.”

“I knew it was a bad idea.” Severus put his head in his hands.

“Severus, we’ve been through this.” Regulus put a hand on Severus’ shoulder. “It’s been months. He’s fine! I am sure he just went into shock by using his new magic too much or something. He will be fine. Concentrate on making us a Portkey so we can leave.”

“Where are we going?” Gellert inquired. A portkey wasn’t much better than apparition but leaving Draco here might prove worse than risking a portkey transportation.

“You don’t need to know.” Severus barked as he worked on turning a vase into a portkey for them.

“This is really not the time to argue.” Regulus tried to calm him down.

“He should have thought of that before going after my godson on his own.” Severus was having none of that.

When Severus had the portkey ready, Gellert held Draco up — much to Severus’ annoyance — and pushed Draco’s palm tight on the vase.

Draco had looked ready to regain consciousness before the portkey. He fell even deeper under after they used it. Regulus helped lay him down on the sofa. Gellert didn’t know where they had landed but knew from the grayish sky out the window that they were back in England.

Severus spent thirty minutes or so putting up a hundred different protective spells around the place — his place, Regulus told Gellert — before topping them with another fifty or so concealment spells. Only after he was done, did he lever Gellert with the glare of the century and demanded to know about Draco’s condition.

Gellert willingly gave them all the information he had along with his theory about what was really happening to Draco’s body at the moment. Severus glared at him the entire time. Regulus listened more carefully, even taking notes.

When Gellert had said everything he had to say, Severus asked him to leave.

“I don’t want you around. I can’t trust you.”

“Severus, he saved Draco.” Regulus tried to reason with him but the man had made up his mind.

Evidently, Gellert had overstayed his welcome. He hated leaving Draco in this state but he could trust Severus and Regulus with his safety.

“I will be back when Draco wakes up.”

“No, you won’t.”

Gellert smiled wryly and took his leave. He would be back. No way was he letting Draco fight this war on his own.

He apparated straight to his aunt’s place and was pleased to find her in good health. She squealed with joy when she saw him.

Gellert spent a few days at her place. He tried to spend as much time as he could with her before his inevitable demise. In the meantime, he also searched for spells on nerve damage. This would be the key to Draco’s victory after all. And a nice way to appease Severus to let him back in Draco’s general vicinity.

Though, whether Severus allowed him or not, Gellert had no intention to take a backseat in this war. He had to make sure Draco survived. And part of it was spitting in Albus’ face, but not the main part.

~~~

Regulus had been kind enough to inform him that Draco was up and kicking and they were moving to Grimmauld.

Gellert could have sent the book and stayed with his aunt. Nobody would have faulted him for it. But he needed to see Draco. He wanted to make sure with his own eyes that the boy was okay. They hadn’t had the chance to have a proper talk since Gellert Saw his last vision either. It was his last chance to talk to the boy and he didn’t want to miss it.

Entering Grimmauld, he looked briefly at Draco and gave him the book he had found. He looked in good health. Gellert restrained his smile and looked at Severus in challenge. The man didn’t make any move to chase him away and Regulus didn’t hesitate to offer a room for Gellert to stay in.

Gellert casted Draco a final glance before following after Regulus. There were other people around Draco now. Their conversation could wait.

Regulus led him to a basement that acted as a hidden library. He informed Gellert how he could get in and out of the room and handed him a vial of his own blood.

“In case of an emergency, you will need a way to get in here. You will need the blood of a Black then. You can go out easily though. It’s the coming back inside that might prove a problem.”

“I’m surprised you are letting me stay at all.” Gellert stared at the vial for a moment.

“Draco trusts you.” Regulus smiled. “I also believe you are on our side. You wouldn’t have stuck around to train Draco for so long otherwise.” He shrugged. “And you made no move to ask me about the procedure Draco followed to expand his magical core. I think that’s a point in your favour right there.”

“Your companion doesn’t seem to share your opinion.”

“Severus? Well, he can be a bit overprotective of Draco. He doesn’t actually believe you will turn on us though.” Regulus grinned. “I actually believe he wants to thank you for saving Draco and doesn’t know how.”

Gellert’s lips quirked up.

“I will leave you be then.” Regulus said. “There’s a hidden room in the corner.” He explained how Gellert could open it. “And you can amuse yourself with the books here. I noticed you like doing some reading.”

“Indeed.” Gellert watched Regulus exit the library and shut the door behind him. Gellert took in the books. Surely, the Black family will have some old books he hasn’t read yet.

~~~

Gellert spent six days in that library. Severus had come down on the third day to give Gellert what had to count as an apology for overreacting. It didn’t sound like one and Gellert wouldn’t have recognised it as one if Regulus hadn’t given him the head-ups.

Severus also informed him of the plan to infiltrate Hogwarts in four days. Now, three days later it was the eve of that battle. A battle that Gellert knew would end the war. He hoped Draco would come to visit him before it. He needed — no, he wanted — to talk to him for one last time before the end.

Gellert had his back to a bookcase and read a book on Advanced Arithmancy when Draco finally descended the stairs to the basement to meet him.

“How have you settled in?” Draco looked nervous.

“This is a good library.” Gellert shrugged. He didn’t want Draco to know how much he had awaited his visit.

“I heard you and Severus had a disagreement.”

“It is of no consequence.” Gellert said, distantly.

A beat passed and then…

“Did you See something?” Draco asked.

Gellert fumbled with the book. Draco wasn’t supposed to be able to read him like this. That was his skill.

“What did you See?” Draco pushed.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does.”

“Let me rephrase that.” Gellert sighed. “It doesn’t matter to you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Concentrate on what concerns you, Mr Black.” He said coldly. He didn’t want Draco to know, not until it was time. Not until he had to say goodbye forever.

“Don’t ‘Mr Black’ me. You Saw your death, didn’t you?” Draco clenched his fists. “Why are you hiding it from me?”

“Because it doesn’t concern you.” Gellert bit his lip. “Stop being so compassionate. I am an old man. I was going to die sooner or later. Considering the things I’ve done, I’ve actually lived longer than I deserve. Sympathising with me won’t do you any good. Concentrate on reaching your goals.”

“Don’t come to Hogwarts.” Draco choked out. It sounded like a plea.

Gellert chuckled. He couldn’t believe his luck. The one time Draco managed to get a correct read on him and it’s now…?

“I’m serious! That’s where you die, right? Then, don’t come. I won’t call you. You can avoid this.” Draco’s voice trembled.

“My prophecies are never wrong.”

“Why aren’t you more rattled by this?” Draco yelled. “You said you wanted to retire, go live with your aunt. Do that. You are the epitome of health. You still have one or two decades left.”

Gellert shut his book and returned it to its place in the bookcase. He took a step closer to his disciple.

“I have no regrets, Draco.” He said truthfully.

“No. That can’t be. You spent most of your life in—”

“A castle of my own making.” He smiled. “I would have spent my life there anyway.”

“You lost your freedom. You didn’t get to see your dreams come true.” Draco paused. “You lost your friend. How can you say you have no regrets?”

“I’ve had a lifetime to think about all that.” Gellert couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Not when this boy cared so much about him. More than anyone besides his aunt ever did. “I’ve come to terms with it all. I have no regrets.”

“You will die.”

“As all people do.”

“You said you will entrust your dream, your ideal to me. Retire and watch me fight for it.” Tears ran down Draco’s face.

“I trust you will do just fine whether I am watching or not.” He wished he could see it but his death was mandatory for Draco to succeed. It was a shame, really.

Draco sobbed loudly, his eyes looking at Gellert like he would fade if he blinked.

“Your face really is very easy to read.” He chuckled.

Draco broke into full-fledged crying then.

Gellert didn’t dare comfort him. Draco would have to face this sooner or later. He was strong. He could take it.

“Don’t come. Please don’t come to Hogwarts.” Draco pleaded and pleaded.

It made no difference. Gellert had made up his mind.

“What did I tell you about visions, Draco? Don’t try to deny them. Accept them. Face them. It would be immature of me to ask that of you if I don’t accept mine, is it not?”

Draco nodded, but the tears didn’t stop.

Gellert finally took some pity on the boy and put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay, Draco. I promise.”

Draco pushed forward, his hands clutching at Gellert’s clothes. He cried and Gellert patted his back soothingly. Moments like these reminded him that Draco was still a child. This was his way of saying goodbye and Gellert didn’t have it in him to deny it.

“I will be there at the Hogwarts attack, and I will die. You need to accept that, Draco. Alright? No getting distracted during the battle.”

Draco nodded against his chest.

“Good.” Gellert pushed him back and smiled. “I have one last thing to take care of now.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I am.”

“Your aunt?”

Gellert smiled in reply. This boy knew him more than any other person had ever bothered to learn about him.

Draco had wiped the tears away and stood straight opposite of him.

“Thank you. For everything.”

Gellert smiled and squeezed Draco’s shoulder.

“You make me proud now, alright? Can’t have Grindelwald’s successor being a crying mess now, can we?”

“No.” Draco chuckled. “No, we can’t.”

~~~

The visit to his aunt was short. Just a few hours. Just to say his final goodbyes. His final thanks and his final medical advice. They talked about old times when everything was easier, when Gellert wasn’t a criminal, and Bathilda’s spine didn’t whine every morning.

When it was time to go, Bathilda hugged him tightly and Gellert hugged her back even tighter. He wished her a good long life. He hoped someone would show up to keep her company after he was gone.

When he left Godric’s Hollow for Nurmengard, he found himself crying just a little bit. He could have had this. He could have stayed with his aunt, spent their last decades together reading books but he wanted to see this through. He wanted Draco to live for a long time, enough to turn the world on its axis.

Nurmengard stood lonely and tall against the snow. Despite May having rolled around, the snow still hadn’t melted. Gellert watched his castle from outside for a few minutes before he apparated inside. Dust had settled over all of his books. The room looked just like it had in his vision.

Soon. Soon, Voldemort will come here demanding the Elder Wand. Gellert grabbed a book and settled against the dusty bed to read it. Not like he had anything else to do while he waited.

~~~

Voldemort showed up late at night.

“I can’t believe this.” The snake-like man said with glee. “The famous Grindelwald, still alive after so many years. And what do I hear? Working with my enemy!”

Gellert put his book down. He still had three chapters left. Shame he would never finish it.

“You must be Voldemort.” Gellert said calmly. “I am afraid your infamy precedes you.”

“I could say the same about you.” Voldemort looked excited. “But there’s a difference between the two of us. Dumbledore beat you. I killed him.”

“And here I thought this young Slytherin lady killed him.” Gellert quirked a brow in amusement. Draco had told him the story.

“She was working for me.”

“Still doesn’t mean you killed him.” Gellert shrugged. He was egging him on. Something told him he should stall for a bit longer before they started fighting. “But alas, you’ve terrorised people enough that you can take the credit, I guess.”

“Says you.” Voldemort cackled. “I grew up hearing tales about you! The great wizard who brought along revolution! Your duel with him made Dumbledore a hero!”

“I suppose it did.” Gellert agreed. “And what do I owe this pleasure today? Might you want my magical expertise?”

“I am afraid I don’t.” Voldemort actually looked regretful. “I would love to have you on my side normally. But you happen to have what I want. And to take it, I have to kill you. I chased after that thing for way too long to give up on it now.”

“And what might that be?” Gellert finally stood up, getting ready for the confrontation.

“The Elder Wand.” Voldemort’s eyes glinted in the dim light. “I traced it down to you. You have it, don’t you?”

“Do I now?” Gellert grinned.

“I would ask you to hand it over but I am aware of how wands work. It has to belong to me or it won’t work right.”

“You are correct.” Gellert pulled out his wand, brandishing it in front of Voldemort. “I am afraid I will have to decline, however.”

“Give me the wand!” Voldemort demanded.

“This?” Gellert grinned. “I’m afraid it’s a present from a friend. I wouldn’t want to part with it.”

“Then die—”

Gellert deflated the exploding curse Voldemort sent his way, and answered with his own spell, a blinding spell.

It hit him. Voldemort grunted but moments later his eyes were healed.

“I see.” Gellert could see the excess of Voldemort’s magic but it didn’t surprise him. Draco could do as much. One day, Draco could do even more.

“Avada Kedavra!”

That curse, Gellert evaded. He had seen how this would play out. He couldn’t die instantly. Draco had to burn him, and for Draco to burn him, Gellert had to escape to Hogwarts.

It became a show-off of spells after that. If it came down to pure quantity, Gellert knew more spells. Voldemort, however, knew way more offensive spells. He was a bad opponent for Gellert.

“Corpus Sectione!”

It was just a miniscule misstep. Just one, and the curse hit Gellert straight to the chest. Pain burned his whole body without any indication of a wound. He sank to the ground, clutching at his abdomen, pushing down on it until he felt the distinct wetness of a bleeding wound erupt in his hand.

“Hogwarts…” Gellert murmured. He had to get to Hogwarts, to Draco.

And Voldemort had to go there too. So Draco could…

Gellert smiled through the pain. So he was the messenger, huh...

“What…” Voldemort said. “What did you just say?”

“Draco Black is at Hogwarts.” Gellert choked out, glee in his voice. “He’s gonna tear you down, piece by piece.”

Voldemort’s face contorted with fury.

“You insolent relic of a past era! How dare you imply that I will lose to—”

Gellert concentrated on the last of his power and apparated away.

~~~

Albus had given him a great gift before leaving the material plane; the ability to apparate inside Hogwarts. Voldemort had to be making the journey back here by now but Gellert was still there first. He couldn’t just go anywhere though, he had to find Draco fast before he bled to death.

In his vision, where Draco burnt him, he had been in the Headmaster’s office. He recognised it from visions of Albus he had gotten over the years. So that was where he apparated to.

He grabbed the window sill to balance himself.

“Wh— Who are you?”

That wasn’t Draco’s voice. And for a half-second Gellert thought he had messed up. But then he spoke.

“You came.” Draco said. “Why did you come? You know what will happen… You will…”

Gellert gave Draco a fleeting smile before collapsing to the ground.

~~~

He must have lost consciousness for a few moments because the next thing he remembered was Draco pushing down on his wounds.

“I can’t be saved, Draco.” He said calmly. The boy had to let him go. He didn’t come to be saved. He came because he had two last things to do.

“You can and you will. I won’t let you—”

“Listen.” Gellert said louder. “My memories. Watch them.”

“What? Why?” Draco’s hands trembled. He pressed down harder. Gellert was going numb. He could barely feel it.

“Just… just watch.” Grindelwald choked out and waited

“I can’t.” Draco sobbed out. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

Gellert smiled wryly. He shifted a bit to reach his wand.

“Bring me a vial.” Draco was just a child. Gellert was asking too much of him.

Draco pulled away and returned with a vial a few seconds later, his blue hair in utter disarray and his eyes already filled with tears.

With a trembling hand, Gellert touched his forehead with the tip of his wand. He concentrated on the memories he wanted Draco to have. And a childish part inside him wanted the boy to see it all; what he did, what he didn’t, what he went through. But that was selfish. Draco only needed to see what was absolutely necessary to his victory. And if Gellert allowed just that one single moment of weakness in front of Albus to pass through to the silvery thread? Well, he was only human.

Draco helped him put the thread of his memories in the vial. His hand trembled too much to do it himself.

“You have to watch it now.” Gellert closed his eyes. He had fulfilled his promise to Albus.

“I can still save you.” Draco cried out. He used one healing spell after the other on Gellert but none worked. He appreciated the effort.

He grasped Draco’s wrist and shook his head.

“Take my wand, Draco.” This was the other thing. And this had nothing to do with Albus. This was Gellert’s decision.

“No. You are not dying. You will live.” Draco choked out.

“TAKE IT!” He opened his eyes and yelled urgently. He didn’t want anyone else to have it. No one else deserved it.

Draco took the wand, still crying.

“Why did you come…?” Draco said, resigned. “You knew this would happen…”

Gellert chuckled. Draco didn’t know the half of it yet.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is though.” He laughed. “I’m sure when Albus asked me to help you, he had no idea you would be crying for me.” Gellert found it humbling that someone would actually shed tears for him.

“Yeah?” Draco smiled wryly. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Oh, let an old man have something to be proud of.” He scoffed. He clutched Draco’s upper arm with his hand. “You are the best successor I could have asked for.”

“I will tear it down.” Draco promised. “One day. I will tear it down for you. I promise.”

He nodded, closing his eyes once more.

“I have a friend I need to catch up with now.” He said. “Good luck, Draco.”

Draco’s weak sobbing was the last thing Gellert heard before everything faded to black.

~~~

“I see your charm hasn’t faded, Gellert.”

Gellert opened his eyes. All he could see was white. All except…

“Albus?”

“Miss me?” Albus grinned. He wasn’t old and gray anymore. He looked like he did that summer: seventeen and full of life.

Gellert looked around again. White and more white, not even a shadow in sight.

“This is… the afterlife?”

“Yes, and no.” Albus extended a hand to help him up.

Gellert grabbed Albus’ hand and noted that his own hand looked smooth and devoid of wrinkles again. He stood up and rubbed at his face. He felt no wrinkle on it either.

“Thanks for keeping your promise.” Albus looked away with a light blush.

“I just told him, Albus.” Gellert grinned. “But he will find another way.”

“There is no other way.”

“Just you wait and see.” Gellert shoved him playfully. “He’s gonna surprise you.”

~~~

When he accepted that he would die, Gellert had been content just knowing that Draco would keep living. He hadn’t expected to get the chance to see him rocking the world on its axis.

The afterworld was a funny place.

Age and time didn’t really work here. Space didn’t exist. Albus explained it to him eventually. That Gellert could be in two or three places at the same time, that he could meet other people there just by willing it. Once, he admitted that he had been having a discussion with one of his old teachers at the same time as he played a game of Exploding Snap with Gellert.

Gellert didn’t really care about meeting anyone other than Albus just yet. His allies from his fighting days had faded over the years in his prison. His aunt, Dorian, and Draco were still alive. So he just met with Albus sometimes, chatting, playing, laughing.

Sometimes, they would watch Draco. Watching living people needed some practice. Albus walked him through it on his arrival and they watched Draco’s solution to the war together.

When Draco called him his master out loud, Gellert felt a surge of pride. Even if he had been written down in his story as a Dark Lord, this boy would remember him as something else.

“I’ve been trying for years, and you managed to get him on your side in a couple of months.” Albus chuckled. “What magic did you work, Gellert?”

He shook his head. It wasn’t magic.

“Oh, he came to my side all on his own.” Gellert elbowed Albus. “Or well, I guess you sent him to me first.”

Albus chuckled and let his head fall to Gellert’s shoulder.

“Should have asked for your help sooner.”

“Better late than never, right?”

~~~

It was many years for the living later that Gellert saw his dream come true.

Like many Muggles on the living plane, Gellert had also caught wind of Draco’s live video. But unlike them, he also knew what his student planned. He didn’t call Albus to him on that day. He wanted to watch it alone. So he watched.

“After my dad’s death, my mum, my sister, my godfather and my friends helped me stand back up. I owe a lot to them.” Draco bent down to get something from the floor. “But there was another person who helped me see another part of myself. A part I was neglecting.” He stood back up holding onto a black cloth. “I took my Dad’s advice and came this far. Always with the support of my family and friends. Now I would also like to keep my promise to that person who urged me towards what I really wanted to do.”

Draco took the black cloth and put it around him. Wizard robes.

Gellert grinned.

“So, here’s an announcement from me.” Draco grinned widely and held his hand in front of him. “The truth is... I’m a wizard and magic is real.” Fire came out of his hand and took on various shapes, sphere, cube, letters, his name. “Please help me spread that fact so we, wizards and witches, don’t have to hide a part of ourselves.”

Draco smiled innocently, like he hadn’t just shaken the world to its very roots. The boy would make it work. Unlike Gellert, who chose the wizards, Draco chose the Muggles to make the change. Smart boy.

Gellert couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He knew hell would follow this announcement and he would watch it all.

Draco never failed to amuse him.