Chapter Text
It was insane how many things had changed in four short years.
For one, Stelle had coerced Dan Heng to marry her. Admittedly, he’d seemed pretty willing to do so, but she knew it was all strategic planning on her part. And by strategic, she meant she tricked him into participating in a wedding custom on a planet they explored. Nevertheless, they had been going strong for almost three years, and Stelle couldn’t be happier.
The second massive change was actually so recent that Stelle could barely wrap her head around it: Nanook had fallen. Somehow. By the power of friendship and the stellaron inside of her. One that had almost killed her.
She was still learning to cope with that near-death experience. Far from her first, but certainly her most terrifying and painful.
However, it had hurt more than just her. The Astral Express crew at large had been extra clingy to her ever since, each in their own way. Everyone who’d heard of the incident was still sending her mountains of get-well gifts, and those she’d formed closer bonds with still frequently checked in on her.
Then there was Dan Heng, who rarely let her out of his sight. Which was fine by her. Things had been different between them ever since she’d been released from the hospital, so having him there all the time reminded her that he was still her husband and he still cared.
Today, they were once again attached at the hip, having both been invited to a certain young vidyadhara's house.
Oh, that was the third thing that Stelle supposed was different: she’d had the pleasure of watching several of her companions grow up. Hook and Clara were already mature for their age, but it was an honor to watch both of them grow into young ladies in their own right. And Bailu, despite being a vidyadhara that aged differently, had done her fair share of growing up as well.
“How are you feeling?” Bailu asked Stelle upon inviting her guests into her home. “I know a doctor has given you an ‘all-clear’, but I won’t believe it for myself unless I look you over.”
“Bailu,” Dan Heng warned, a tired edge to his voice. “She’s had many check-ups by many different people all wanting the same thing.”
“I don’t mind,” Stelle responded. “Bailu’s probably won’t be as invasive, anyway.”
Dan Heng quirked a brow at her. “Only if you are certain.”
She nodded. “Besides, I know you’re plenty concerned about me, too.”
Dan Heng glanced away, confirming what she knew already. After all, she had basically exploded before his eyes, and of course that would have left an impact on her husband, especially considering how deeply attached he was to her. Again, it was moments like this she clung to, trying to remind herself her husband still cared because there were times it felt like he didn’t and—
“Then this way, please!” In an instant, Bailu grabbed Stelle’s hand and began dragging her to a nearby room.
Successfully saved from her haunting thoughts, Stelle stumbled after Bailu.
Once inside the small examination room, Bailu had Stelle sit down on the cot. “Big Brother Dan Heng already told me everything that happened,” she said, beginning to examine Stelle. “But I’d just like to confirm everything.”
“It’s fine,” Stelle assured. While it was true she was growing tired of being poked and prodded by doctors, there were a few she’d make an exception for. Namely Natasha and Bailu. And that was because they were less “doctoring her” and more “confirming she was okay”. For her friends’ sake, Stelle could cope with their check-ups.
Dan Heng did slip into the room after them at some point. There were times she felt as though he was more concerned with her health than she was, and she could only hope that would fade the more time went on. After all, it wasn't like she didn't know why; she'd been at death's door for a while, which had clearly terrified him. So while she submitted to all these check-ups for her friends' sake, she hoped that Dan Heng would get the message she was fine. Maybe things would go back to normal then.
Unfortunately, no such luck so far. Maybe Bailu's words would have an effect on him.
“Seems like you’re okay,” Bailu said, her eyes drifting down to Stelle’s chest. “But I can see scarring on your chest sticking out of your shirt collar. I’m assuming that’s from the stellaron bursting?”
Stelle nodded. “I got stitched up well enough, but my guess is that it’s going to scar really badly.” She then forced a smile. “Though, it’s a small price to pay for the safety of the galaxy, right?”
Bailu didn’t look convinced, her still youthful face scrunched in thought. “Let me do a little research. I’ll find a way to heal the scarring. I promise.”
At that, Stelle’s smile turned real. “Don’t worry over it that much,” she said, ruffling Bailu’s hair.
Bailu’s expression scrunched even further as she gently swatted Stelle’s hand away. “I’m not a child.”
“I still consider you my little sister.”
“Hmmf!”
Stelle chuckled. “I’m sorry, do I owe you a treat as an apology?”
“You owe me a treat as an apology for making me worried that you almost died!” she cried, crossing her arms in front of her like a petulant child. The glassy tears forming in Bailu’s eyes reminded Stelle that she was just one more person who was worried about her.
“It’s okay,” Stelle said, trying to ignore the throbbing in her chest. Though she still didn't know whether it was because she was sad she caused one more person to worry about her or phantom pains from her injury. “I’m fine.”
Bailu rubbed her red-rimmed eyes and dabbed her nose with the back of her sleeve.
Unsure what else to do, Stelle opened her arms.
And Bailu instantly lunged at her.
“I’ll treat you, but only this once,” Bailu said, her voice warbly with tears as she clung tightly to Stelle.
“I’ll happily accept.”
Three days later, Dan Heng and Stelle had come back to Bailu’s residence at the young vidyadhara’s request. Normally, Dan Heng would be preparing to scold the younger girl for likely staying up too late in her studies, but not this time. Not when it was for Stelle.
Logically, he knew the scar on Stelle’s chest was superficial. Furthermore, he knew it was fresh and therefore would slowly—very slowly—fade with time. But whenever Stelle would bare her chest, all he could see was the sprawling, red-purple spiderweb carved into her skin.
That moment she burst before his eyes would forever haunt him.
But enough of him. He knew that moment would haunt her, too. The way she would study herself in the mirror, fingers running over her scar with a dead look in her eyes, was not anything he ever enjoyed witnessing. So anything that would make that scar heal quicker, fade sooner, was welcomed by him.
And to show his thanks, he and Stelle brought a goodwill offering.
“Hey, you’re here!” Bailu enthusiastically greeted. “Come in, come in! I finished it last night.”
“Thank you, Bailu,” Stelle responded, stepping through the threshold.
Dan Heng followed, closing the door behind him.
“There are healing creams I’ve made for scars before,” Bailu began explaining as she wove through the house to a back room, one laden with the heavy scent of herbs, minerals, and other various substances she used in her medications. “But they don’t work on larger ones all that well. So I had to go back to the books and found an outworlder medication that, when combined with some of our remedies, stimulates the regeneration of cells. It’s one of the stronger topical medications I’ve managed to produce.”
Ignoring the main table in the middle of the room that was littered with medication vials, each one wrapped with a little note, Bailu headed over to a little red table off to the side and grabbed a small jar from there. “Doctors orders: apply a small amount once every day. Only about as much that will fit on your finger.”
“Yes, Dragon Lady,” Stelle said, taking the jar from the girl.
She pouted. “You know it irritates me when you address me so formally,” she huffed.
“I know,” Stelle said with a wink as she patted Bailu’s head. “Little sister.”
At that, Bailu broke into a smile. “That’s better. Hey, why don’t you go try it now? That way, I can examine you for any immediate side effects.”
“Sounds fair.”
“Bathroom is there,” Bailu said, pointing off towards the side. “I’ll go make some tea, and we can chat a bit. Maybe Dan Heng can go grab some snacks,” she said with a mischievous smirk.
Amused, he raised the bag he was carrying. “We already brought some.”
“Ohhhh!” she excitedly cried. “Perfect! Why don’t you go put those on the table in the tea room? I’ll join you shortly.”
Dan Heng gave her a nod.
As Bailu headed off, Stelle followed suit, but not before giving Dan Heng a gentle pat on the shoulder. I’ll be back, her smile seemed to say.
Before she could disappear completely, Dan Heng took hold of her hand, pressing a light kiss to the back of it before she slipped away.
He relished the smile that appeared on her face as a result.
When Dan Heng arrived in the tea room, he took a moment to arrange the snacks they’d brought from the Astral Express on the table. Stelle had done her best to cook some of them, hence their… rustically charming appearance. The rest, though, were pre-packaged snacks, stolen from the stash that March 7th added to every time they visited somewhere. Bailu would undoubtedly find them enjoyable.
“I have tea!” she piped up upon entering the room pushing a tea cart. “Ohhhh! Those look good!”
“Stelle thought you’d like all of these.”
She nodded enthusiastically, her twin braids bouncing as she did. “I’m sure! Stelle has the best taste in snacks.”
He couldn’t help but smile in response. “By the way, thank you for helping Stelle. Though, you look to have been very busy.”
“A doctor’s work never stops,” she lamented as she set the teacups on the table. “But before you go worrying about me, I have an assistant who makes those remedies now. The only ones I’ve been working on are the ones on the red table. And that’s because those are the new ones.”
“New medications?”
Bailu nodded proudly. “Yes. A doctor’s research is never done, either. There are always ways to make things better to help our patients.”
“True. I just hope you find time to rest. You can help no one if you don’t care for yourself.”
“I’m managing a good balance,” she insisted as she plopped down in the seat across from Dan Heng.
“I hope you mean you’re not living off of snacks,” Stelle piped up, making a reappearance.
“I’m not! I swear! I have a cook who ensures it,” Bailu tacked on with a grumble.
“Good.” Smiling, Stelle took a seat next to Dan Heng. “Then you can eat anything here without my teasing.”
At the way Bailu’s cheeks puffed in offense, Dan Heng stifled a chuckle.
Only after Bailu finished pouring tea for them did Dan Heng start up conversation again. “Out of curiosity, what other experimental medications are you working on?”
“It’s nothing I would consider groundbreaking." Bailu held a hand up to count things off on her fingers. “There’s your healing cream, for starters. A supplement for helping children improve from sickness faster. My research on mara-struck never stops. Oh! And a fertility treatment for partners of opposite species.”
Stelle quirked a brow. “Does that make a difference? Opposing species, that is.”
Bailu nodded. “More often than not, people tend to date within their own kind. However, it’s been noted that those in inter-species relationships tend to struggle with bearing children, if they can at all. From my research, some species combinations are completely incompatible breeding partners.”
“You wish to change that?” Dan Heng questioned.
“Of course. There is no reason there shouldn’t be breeding between them. Offspring take on most traits from either one parent or another, essentially fitting back into one of the two species anyway, so it’s not like there’s going to be any disappearance of species or anything. I haven’t found any examples of some perfect mesh between the two.
“However…” Bailu continued sheepishly. “I will admit the research I’m going off of is… inherently flawed due to the amount of knowledge I can acquire on the subject. There really isn't that much information on inter-species fertility, and finding couples to research is proving to be a little more difficult than anticipated.”
Dan Heng hummed in understanding. It was true that, at least on the Luofu, species did not inter-marry that often despite the species all being willing to work together. He believed it to be a matter of pride above all else. Maybe that was why his marriage to Stelle was met with disdain and disapproval from a good portion of the vidyadhara that did still accept him. There was no amount of public renown or intergalactic achievements she could hold to make them change their minds.
It made Bailu, who’d accepted the news of their marriage with no small amount of joy and well-wishes, stand out considerably.
“That’s very like you, Bailu,” Stelle commented with a smile.
“Well, I can’t just leave them when they need help,” Bailu insisted in between bites of her snack. “They’ve been trying for twenty years. Unsuccessfully.”
“They’ll be happy to have hope.”
Dan Heng gave a silent nod in agreement.
Bailu didn’t look convinced. “Yeah, but hopefully it will work and, well… not make them sick in the process.”
“Why do you say that?” Dan Heng inquired.
Hesitantly, Bailu tapped her fingers against the table, her cheeks now tinted pink. “Well… er, one of the ingredients is known to be a strong aphrodisiac. There are cases where people have abused this ingredient in order to make ‘love potions’, so to speak. So while it’s regulated, it’s not too highly documented. I’m walking a fine line of adding enough of the ingredient to make the fertility components powerful enough while trying to limit it so as to avoid causing a problem.” At that last bit, her cheeks flared red.
Dan Heng couldn’t help but smile at her innocence. “You should start on the low end and inform them of the potential risks and side effects of your experimental medicine.”
“Of course, I will. That’s the duty of a doctor. I’m not cruel,” Bailu insisted. “But… I just want it to work the first time, you know?”
“We could try it,” Stelle piped up.
Which caused Dan Heng to choke.
Bailu herself seemed to be confused. “Why? It’s not like you need a fertility treatment since vidyadhara can’t breed.”
“If it’s just the strength of the aphrodisiac component you’re concerned about, then I don’t see an issue.”
“Stelle,” Dan Heng warned under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” she inquired, her brow quirking upwards. “I don’t see a reason why not.”
Bailu’s eyes lit up as she gasped. “Would you? I’d forever be in your debt!”
Flustered, Dan Heng felt his cheeks flush with heat as his heart started hammering uncomfortably inside his chest. “Er… well.” Looking over at his wife, he cleared his throat. “Can we talk privately?”
“I’ll leave!” Bailu practically leapt from her spot. “I’ll go sort through all my notes and research in my office in the meantime. Come get me when you’re done!” And with that, she disappeared.
Dan Heng turned to Stelle, who had already turned towards him. “So," he began. "What is going through your mind to volunteer such a thing?”
“Don’t you want to help Bailu?”
“It’s medication, Stelle. This isn’t just helping her run errands or the like.”
By now, she'd glanced away, wringing her hands together awkwardly. “I know.”
He swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous as an inkling came to mind. “This… by any chance, wouldn’t happen to be because of the aphrodisiac, would it?”
The brief moment Stelle tensed told him all he needed to know.
“Does this have to do with sex?”
Stelle opened her mouth to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat as she sighed between her teeth. “I mean… yeah, kinda,” she finally admitted.
It was his turn to look away, rubbing his jaw uncomfortably. It was true they hadn’t been intimate in months, since Stelle had been severely injured and in recovery for so long. But she hadn’t been herself for a while, either, so he didn’t want to initiate something she didn’t seem like she was up for. Or was that not the case?
Maybe what he really needed was to have an actual conversation with his wife. While Bailu's house might not be the right place to talk things out, a talk was long overdue. “Are you… upset that we haven’t been intimate since the war?” he asked, turning back to her.
“Well… yes, but it’s more like… ” Stelle pursed her lips as she struggled to find the words.
But what really killed him was the way she wouldn’t look at him. Suddenly, he felt inadequate, as though he was a failure of a husband. Sure, everything had changed with that last battle, including how their marriage functioned. The problem was he didn’t know how to fix it. Part of him hoped things would work themselves out; another part of him realized that they simply had to settle into a new normal, which would take time. But what if there was something he'd missed?
“You treat me differently,” she spoke up, finally meeting his gaze. “You… It’s like you’re always around, but there’s a distance between us. You don’t… hold me anymore. Like you're scared of me. And you always look at my chest with this expression I can’t quite figure out.” At that, her gloved hand clenched her shirt front. “Is the scar that ugly?”
His eyes widened, his mouth growing dry.
“It’s not like I can help it!” she cried when he failed to fill the silence between them. “I didn’t ask for this stellaron inside me. And I can’t help the fact that it did what it did, but it had to, to defeat Nanook. And I know it must have taken a toll on you to watch that, so I haven’t brought it up because I don’t want to put more pressure on you, but does it make you… uncomfortable?”
… What?
Here she was, bearing a scar that was evidence of her near death, and she was worried about if it bothered him? “No,” he answered, reaching out to grab her shoulders. Her eyes widened at his touch, as though she hadn't expected it, which hurt him more than he thought it would. “The scar only bothers me because of what it represents. I watched you explode in that fight. I’d thought I’d lost you, and I’ve never felt so terrified in my life. Yes, the scar reminds me of that time, but the fact you’re still alive is all that matters to me.”
Her mouth formed a little ‘oh’ shape as she gradually absorbed his words.
“But you…” he continued, guilt welling up in him with each passing second. “It always seemed you were distressed by it, so I didn't want to bring attention to it."
"Me?"
He nodded. "You get a faraway look in your eye when you see it, but you brush everything off by saying you're fine, so I didn't want to push. I don't..." He grit his teeth, huffing in frustration. "I'm not good at this. I know you said you don’t want to bother me, but I want you to lean on me. I just don’t know what you need so I can't... I can't fix anything for you. And I know you're tired of people making a fuss over you, so I didn't want to do that, either, but I am your husband. I love you, so I just want to care for you."
Her surprise lingered a moment longer before being overtaken by a soft expression. "Dan Heng."
The sound of his name rolling off her lips was a comfort he didn't know he needed. And when she reached up to grab his wrists, pulling them from her shoulders, he held on to her hands tight.
"I..." She chuckled bitterly. "Now I feel stupid."
"Don't," he instantly countered. "You were the one who went through so much. Me not knowing how to help isn't your fault."
“But you did help me,” she said, giving his hands a squeeze. “All the time. You were always by my side, bringing me whatever I needed and carrying me around when I had just gotten released from the med ward. Part of me feels bad for leaning on you so much.”
“Never feel that way,” he said, clinging tightly to her hands and leaning closer. “Ever.”
The way Stelle pursed her lips told him that his words weren’t enough to take that weight off her shoulders. “I’m your partner, too,” she countered.
“And? You were injured.”
“But I’m fine now. I even got the all-clear from the doctors at Herta’s Space Station to start trailblazing again.”
“You were told to take it slow and not do anything more than light exploration.”
“Okay, but light exploration still means I’m fine. So can you stop being my bodyguard and start being my husband again?”
Dan Hen’s brow furrowed in confusion. “When did I ever stop?”
“Since I woke up in the med ward,” Stelle answered. “Is it because you still see me as fragile?”
“I know you’re not.”
“Is it because of what happened when I was unconscious?”
A mixture of dread and embarrassment suddenly bubbled up in his gut. “What are you talking about?”
“Welt told me everything that happened when I was out.”
Oh… that. And here he’d hoped Stelle would never find out. “What exactly do you know?”
She gave him an abashed grimace. “That Welt and March had to physically restrain you when the doctors said I might not make it. And that you literally wouldn’t leave your self-imposed post at my door until Himeko forced you, and it was only because the doctors begged her to.”
He grit his teeth. So she really did know everything.
“Ever since I woke up," she continued, "you’ve been protective, and I know it’s just you were just worried about me. That’s just who you are, and I love that about you, but I was hoping you’d realize I was fine and go back to normal. I… I’m sorry I made you worry so much about me, but I’m okay now. So, can I just have my husband back?"
Before Dan Heng could answer, it hit him that her eyes were growing glassy. Stelle wasn’t the kind of woman to grow emotional, so her impassioned plea hit him doubly hard.
“I thought I was being your husband,” he said. “But I’m sorry you felt like I wasn’t.”
That’s when she moved, throwing her arms around his neck and just holding on.
He guided them to stand from their seats, allowing him to pull her flush against him and just hold her. No, embrace her. He’d held her many times since she’d been released from the med ward, but not like this. The image of her possibly dying before his eyes, hooked up to numerous medical machines to keep her alive, had haunted him so badly.
But she was here now. Alive and well. And what she needed was for him to stop treating her so delicately. So while there was that image that haunted him, he would have to get past it for her sake.
And considering he'd do anything for her, he could manage to do that.
He squeezed her tighter. “Sorry,” he whispered once again.
“It’s okay,” she responded just as quietly. And as she took in a shaky breath, he realized she was on the verge of tears. “Sorry for doubting you.”
Unsure how else to respond, he simply pressed a long kiss into her hair at her temple as he started rubbing long, soothing strokes on her back.
She, in turn, melted into him, her face nuzzling deeper against his shoulder.
Aeons, he didn’t realize how desperately he missed this.
They stood like that for a while, her quiet sniffles paired with a growing damp spot on his shirt. And he just held her, his own eyes feeling a little overly watery as well.
But as they calmed down, Dan Heng slowly came back to reality, and reality was they were still in Bailu’s tea room. With Bailu still waiting in a different room for an answer.
“Are you okay now?” he asked.
She nodded into his shoulder.
“Because as much as I enjoy this, there is a different topic we have to discuss.”
Stelle pushed away from him, but her hands didn’t leave his shoulders. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Is the reason you wanted the aphrodisiac because you wanted to close the distance between us?”
She nodded. “I wanted back the man who… you know, used to slam me up against a wall or two instead of treating me like I would break.”
He sighed, a muddle of messy emotions swirling like a storm inside of him now. “I’d… think it best to take it easy.”
That storm of emotions only got worse when she seemed disappointed at the prospect.
“But,” he continued, taking a pause to clear his throat. “If I promise you we can make love tonight, will that be a good enough start for you?”
A little grin paired with the red dusting on her cheeks. “I would like that.”
“So, we can say no to Bailu?”
She hummed. “I mean… we wouldn’t have to use it tonight.”
Oh no. He forgot he was arguing with Stelle, a woman who didn't give up easily once she set her mind to things. One of her many charms... and drawbacks.
“And it is for helping Bailu.”
“In the grand scheme of things, there is little help we can give her. She did her best as a doctor to make the medication safe, and she will have to explain the side effects to her patients regardless.”
She sighed. “I guess so…”
He did not like where this conversation was going. “And you still want it.”
She squirmed under his touch.
It was his turn to heave a sigh. “Stelle.”
“Dan Heng.”
After a moment’s stare off, she relented first. “Alright, fine. If you don’t want to, I won’t force you. But, you better keep your promise to spend time together tonight. I… miss you.”
Those last three words were spoken quietly, but Dan Heng caught the intensity in them anyway. He cradled her cheek. “I miss you, too.”
Although her cheeks turned pink, her expression brightened at that.
And then, to reward her—and because he hadn’t done so in too long—he kissed her. Not just a light peck, but indulged her in a firm, genuine kiss.
She gave a little whine of protest when he pulled away, but part of his hazy mind reminded him a certain young vidyadhara was still waiting for them. “We need to go give Bailu an answer,” he whispered to her.
Although she sighed, she did pull away. “You’re right.”
Hence, after untangling themselves, they headed towards Bailu’s office. Stelle reached for Dan Heng’s hand, holding onto it tightly.
Glancing down at her, he caught her shooting him a smile, one that seemed relaxed and genuinely happy for the first time in a while. He didn’t realize how badly he’d been longing for such a sight.
Dan Heng knocked on the door to Bailu’s office, garnering a quick reply. With permission, he opened the door.
“You two took a while,” she pointedly commented.
“Sorry,” Stelle apologized. “There were… other things we needed to discuss as well.”
“It all pertained to the offer,” Dan Heng cut in before Bailu could ask if it was necessary.
“Huh, well, okay.” With that, Bailu stood from her seat. “So, what’s the verdict?”
“Actually,” Stelle began, “we decided—”
“To ask about the risks,” Dan Heng finished for her.
She glanced up at him, her brow quirked up in confusion.
Which was understandable. Part of him still didn’t want to, as he deemed it unnecessary. But when Stelle had grabbed hold of his hand, walking close to him even if for only a short distance, he realized that it would mean a lot to her if he caved. And considering she had just voiced her worry about him pushing her away and being distant, he decided that maybe it would be more beneficial to indulge her here. To prove that he still wanted her, even if it meant going along with her half-thought-out schemes.
“So you’ll do it?” Bailu asked, eyes lighting up. “It really would help me soooo much.”
Dan Heng glanced over to Stelle, who looked up at him with bemusement yet still gave his hand an affectionate squeeze.
Yes, he decided. This was the right choice.