Chapter Text
A curse left your lips as you struggled to put your shoes on. You were already late as it was and you still added to that when you chose to wear heels.
You loved everything about your apartment, though it was small, you saw it as a place you could turn into a home — your home. Well, you loved everything about it except for the elevator. It was old and you were always afraid that it might get stuck while someone was inside, you just wished that it would never be you in there.
But you were always unlucky or perhaps you just simply didn't pay much attention to all the signs around you.
Sign number one: the blind date on game night, at a game bar — you never minded games, to be honest, thanks to your brother, you were fond of them, but a date at a game bar should make all the little alarm bells inside your head ring;
Sign number two: your day was kind of terrible, somehow you managed to completely ruin an entire batch of cookies, a cake, and the bonbons;
Sign number three: happened because of sign number two, you were late so you barely had time to shower, put on some much-needed makeup and pick out a nice dress. And because of all that you took the elevator down. It was always your choice, a smart one, to take the stairs and you were on the seventh floor but even so, it didn't matter that much to you. But when you opened the door to your apartment you saw the elevator with its doors open as if it were waiting for you, the man inside held the doors open. He smiled at you as you walked inside and you thanked him with a nod.
It could have ended there, the elevator could have gone all the way down and you only ever see that man on a random meet in the hallway. But that would have been too easy and your life just wasn't that simple.
Somewhere between the third and the second floors, the elevator got stuck and you nearly cried. You weren't afraid of elevators, that wasn't the case, but you were late and you hated that. Sure, you were only going to watch a game but even so, what would the guy think of you? If you were in his shoes you would probably be very angry. Or maybe he could be one of those people who were always late — if that was the case the night was going to be a lot easier.
“I can't believe this," the guy said.
You looked at him. For a few seconds, you forgot that he was there with you. You blinked a couple of times as your eyes stayed on him for longer than necessary. He was beautiful. You never thought of a man beautiful in your life but he was. It was even hard to describe just how beautiful he was, tall and lean — maybe not that tall but he was taller than you — with friendly eyes, that didn't look all that friendly while he stared at the broken emergency button.
“Are you late too?” you asked.
You watched as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door.
“Yeah, I'm always late but today shouldn't be one of those days"
And his voice… his voice was something else too, it was like honey.
“Can't you, I don't know, open the door? Maybe we are lucky enough to be close to one of the floors"
You knew that you weren't, was sure of it.
“Do I look like Captain America to you?”
His tone was sharp, much more than he intended so. He didn't mean to be rude, he was just angry. If he was late again then it would be the fourth time in the same week and that couldn't happen again.
“Well, find yourself a comfortable seat because we're not getting out of here anytime soon"
He looked at you, not expecting that. He was sure that you would snap back at him, maybe even curse a little, but you just overlooked it like nothing at all had happened.
“I'm sorry, I…”
“The only people who actually use this elevator is that huge family on the fifth floor, I can't remember their names, but I saw them leave about an hour ago” You pulled your phone from inside your purse and sighed as you looked at the screen “There's no signal either”
You completely ignored his attempt to apologize, just because he was good-looking didn't mean that he had a right to act like an idiot just for the sake of it. You were late too, you told him that. Both of you were shit out of luck but he didn't have to be rude about it.
Sure, maybe your question was stupid and you may have watched one too many movies but people were weird and could do all sorts of unexpected things.
Looking around, you sat down on the floor on the other of the elevator and closed your eyes. You weren't afraid of elevators or to be in a small place but you hated the idea of being stuck somewhere without windows. As long as you could see some sort of light, whether it was day or night, you were okay. There was very little chance of something happening, you knew that. The thing was just stuck, as it did sometimes, soon enough someone would have to find you. It was going to be either Mr. Kang, the doorman, or your friend looking for you. Either one of them would be fine, as long as they didn't take too long
“Are you okay?” the man asked you.
He watched as you closed your eyes and started to tap on your thighs a random song or maybe it wasn't a song it was just something you did. You started to hum too and he was fascinated by it, by you.
When he saw you running from your apartment, fumbling with your keys while cursing he couldn't help but smile. He had seen you before a couple of times while you were getting your mail or when you were running out of the building in the morning. Whenever he saw you, he always thought you were pretty but seeing you this close he was sure of it. He had never seen anyone quite like you.
“Someone is waiting for me and I'm late"
You hated that you sounded like a little girl, like someone who complained all the time. That wasn't you, at all, but it was a date, the first one you've had in the longest time. What would he think when you finally got to the bar? Would he believe that you got stuck in the elevator or would he take you for a liar? You couldn't help but wonder what kind of person he was. If he was one of those people who didn't care much when others were late or if he could get pissed off enough to get up and leave.
“I'm late too if that makes you feel any better"
You opened your eyes and looked at him.
“It doesn't, but thanks"
Almost an hour went by and you were starting to lose your mind. You changed positions from sitting to standing to walking until the man finally told you to stop. It probably wasn't a good idea to walk from side to side on something that wasn't working all that well, to begin with.
“Does your phone have signal?” you asked him.
He too had taken a seat but unlike you, he stayed seated, his head resting against the metal wall. He didn't bother to answer you, whatever he had to offer was the same as yours: nothing.
There was no way you were getting out of that situation any time soon. The emergency button was broken, and you were certain that you were still somewhere in between the third and second floors, no one in their sane mind would ride that elevator so there was no one to rescue you.
You sighed and took a glance at the man by your side. It was going to be a long night.
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With a sigh you pushed the door to the bakery open, the little bell on top of it being the only sound in the saloon before your footsteps echoed through the half-empty room.
It had been one long night indeed. It was only three hours later when someone finally noticed the elevator and you were finally free to go on your date. Except for the fact that there was no longer a date. Doyoung had gotten tired of waiting and left. There were three missed texts and one call, the last one quite angry if you were allowed to say so. And on top of that, he wasn't willing to answer you, though you were sure that he had seen your texts.
His silence was all you needed to know that it was simply another failed attempt at a relationship. And to be completely honest you were beyond tired of all those hits and missed tries. You had other things to worry about like not letting the store go under, or the ridiculously huge loan you took to pay for Chan's college, to worry about whether or not a guy was interested in more than one date.
Though for you the answer was quite simple, it wasn't the same for Yumi. No words needed to be exchanged for you to know that she was going to go ballistic on you the second you walked in, her eyes said it all.
"Did you really have to stand him up?" she all but screamed.
It was too early for all that screaming. You had spent most of the night awake after the failed date. Not thinking about Doyoung and what you could have done better but working on a new recipe of bonbons - the same one you messed up the day before because you had been on edge the entire day.
"It wasn't intentional" you defended yourself weakly.
There was nothing that you could say to make Yumi calm down. Once she started, it was just easier to let her do all the crazy rants, until she finally got bored and moved on.
"So what? Did you lose track of time while working on something?" she pointed at the small container in your hands.
"This is why I didn't sleep, the date happened before that" you placed everything on your hands on the nearest table and went back to close the door "I got stuck on that damn elevator for three hours"
You sat down. All you needed was a few minutes to rest your arms that burned because of the weight of the containers. And it would lessen the likelihood of Yumi tackling you down.
"Why would you do that? It's a death trap" she all but whined.
It was funny how your friend was always that much more invested in your love life than yourself. She had her own, a very busy one at that, and yet yours seemed more interesting than hers.
"I'm sorry for not wanting to go down seven floors on heels" you rolled your eyes.
"You did try putting in some effort" Yumi was almost amazed by you.
Just because you weren't actively searching for a boyfriend, it didn't mean you would go out of your way to make sure that it wouldn't work. Doyoung seemed nice enough for you to want to go on a second date with him. Even through texts, he was a decent enough person but maybe all of it could have been just a good cover-up for him to get in your pants.
You shook your head, pushing all thoughts of him away from your mind. If he wasn't willing to also pull in the effort then you certainly wouldn't be the one to do it for him. You had batches of cookies and cupcakes waiting to be made, cakes and pies that needed to be finished and delivered before lunchtime rolled around.
"Wait!" Yumi said from behind you just as you were about to cross the kitchen door "What happened to your mark?"
You turned to her, ready to ask what the hell she was talking about when you remembered the mark on your back, just below your left shoulder.
The soulmate mark.
Yours was so well hidden, at least from your own eyes, that it was easy to forget that it even existed. It was a simple snowflake, painted in bright electric blue. The first time you noticed it you were eleven, it was the same day tears ran down your eyes even though you had no reason to cry.
That day your mother told you about the soulmate bond, about the way it worked. Like any eleven-year-old, you got excited about the idea, the thought that there was someone in the world that was perfect just for you. It felt just like the fairytales your parents used to read to you. You remember your mom saying yours is just a little different.
Every soulmate couple shares a trace besides the mark, something that keeps them connected until the day they meet. For many, it was something simple such as hair colors, or physical pain. Yours was tears. Whenever your soulmate cried you did too, didn't matter what you were doing, where you were, and who you were with. If the other person cried, you cried too and you guessed it had the same effect on them.
"It is in the place it was yesterday"
You walked through the door and onto the kitchen with quick steps, your hands moving automatically as you reached for the apron and tighten it around your neck.
"No, it's not"
She held your arms down from behind and suddenly shoved her phone on your face, showing you your bare shoulder. Looking at the picture there was no way anyone could tell that there was ever a mark there.
It was said that the moment your mark fades is the moment you meet the one you are supposed to spend your entire life with when you first look into each other's eyes. And conveniently, yours wasn't in place anymore.
"The elevator guy," you said more to yourself than to Yumi.
"What elevator guy?"
You resumed to what you were doing before, taking the ingredients you put aside the night before to make everything go faster the next day.
"I wasn't alone in the elevator yesterday, there was a guy with me"
"How can you stay so calm right now? You found him, the one"
Sometimes it was very easy to forget that Yumi went on all those dates, and met so many different guys, in hopes to find her soulmate at any moment. During your life, wherever you went, you met people like her. People who were captivated by the idea of soulmates, who fully embraced the concept and were willing to risk everything in the world for that one person.
You weren't scared to admit that for years of your life, you thought the same, up until the second year of college when you realized something that changed your entire perspective of the soulmate bond. The fact that your parents weren't soulmates but still lived happily together, gave birth to you and Chan, made you question the importance of the soulmate bond.
"We live in the same building, I'll see him at some point"
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Jihoon had seen his mark fade from his arm. His mark was just under his watch, on his inner wrist. He watched as the bright blue snowflake gave place to the light skin and the faint green of his veins. He didn't expect it. It was so surprising that he didn't say anything to you. He quietly tried to look at your wrists, trying to see if either of them were still marked, but your wrists were empty and there was not a single drop of surprise in your face.
He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Should he just come clean about it and tell you? Wait for a better moment? But would there ever be a better moment for that? Even though he had all of those questions floating around his mind, Jihoon stayed quiet.
He simply watched as you finally sat down opposite him, going through your purse until you finally pulled out a small notebook and a pen. You stayed there for those three hours looking at the paper in your hands, biting on the pen. Sometimes you would look at him, shyly, and if you caught him looking back at you, you would just turn your face quickly. That's why he pretended to be busy with his phone, but the truth was that he was simply staring at his home screen.
In his family soulmates were a big deal, not just something that existed and people could simply move on from it. There had never been someone that ignored their soulmate, acted as if they didn't exist and yet there he was, doing exactly the opposite of what he was taught throughout his entire life.
Since Jihoon was a kid he wanted to meet them, meet you. It came as a surprise to everyone in his family when it was found that his connection with you was through tears. He always worried about you through the years. You had never been one to cry a lot - if anything he was the one doing all the crying - so whenever you did let your tears fall he wondered what had happened to make you cry. He always wished that it were happy tears but he knew just how cruel the world could be, so that was wishful thinking on his part.
He wasn't about to be a hypocrite and say that he sometimes wished that his connection with you was more common, like pain or hair colors. It was much easier for people to see and accept it. With tears, it was just more complicated. How was he supposed to explain to his friends, in the middle of a party, that the tear in his eyes belonged to his soulmate and not because of how much he had to drink? But he never gave it much thought, his connection with you was that and he couldn't do anything about it except accept it.
"You've been looking at your hand for the last ten minutes," Soonyoung said from the other side of the table.
For a second Jihoon had completely forgotten where he was and what he was doing. Lunch, he was having lunch at the hospital cafeteria with Soonyoung. It was the first meal he had after eight hours on ER duty and he couldn't say that he was exactly hungry. He could go all 12 hours of his shift without eating, it wasn't a problem for him in the least.
"My mark is gone"
Making the fuss Jihoon had already expected, Soonyoung reached for his hand, pushing his sleeve back and looking at the now clean skin of his arm.
It was so weird to see it like that. He liked the design of the mark, the colors of it, like how if one looked closely at it would see the many intrinsic characteristics. His mom used to say that those were stories of past lives, each tiny nuance was something he did during his past life with the one he was supposed to love now. And his mark was filled with them. So if his mother was right that meant that his past lives were quite eventful.
Jihoon loved hearing those stories as a child. Even as a teenager, he would bail on his friends so he could stay at home and just listen to his parents talk about the bond. They had never treated the bond as just something else in life, they treated it as the sole reason as to why humans even existed.
And he believed in that too. Jihoon wished and yearned for you. Everything he ever did and thought would lead him to that moment. Now that it was here though, that it finally happened, he was frozen in his spot. The reality of his life knocked on his door and reminded him that things were not as easy as they seemed.
"Dude, what the fuck? When did this happen?"
"Lower your voice" he murmured, pulling his hand back and pushing Soonyoung away.
Soonyoung was suddenly aware of his surroundings, his eyes going around the cafeteria for a second just to notice that no one was looking at him — hospitals tend to get quieter during the night.
"That's huge, right? It's gone so that means you've met them, yes?"
Jihoon shook his head. Yes, it was huge and yes, he had met you, but things were no longer as simple as they once were. Teenager Jihoon saw life as this huge rainbow of colors, as if everything single thing in the world, even the ones that don't seem all that realistic, were possible. Now, as a grown man, he saw life as it was, still colorful but much harder to tackle.
"Why don't you look happy about this? I've known you forever, and you've always wanted this but now you're looking all sad"
Just a second after the words left his mouth, Soonyoung understood what was wrong in that situation. All he needed as confirmation was the look on Jihoon’s face,
For the past few years, two and a half to be more precise, Jihoon had been in a relationship, one he cherished the most. During his college years, he did go out, met girls, and even dated a couple of them but he had never been really serious about any of them. He knew that there would always have been a moment when both of them would move on and follow their paths. He never bothered to get attached to them.
To say that he was saving himself for the moment when he met you would be too much. He was no saint but he also didn’t want to make promises that he wouldn’t be able to keep. Staying with someone when he knew that his soulmate was still out there, that he was still young and there was a large possibility of meeting you in the future made him more wary of relationships.
And yet there he was, again, going against everything he ever believed in. Mina needed him, in ways that someone never needed him before. Jihoon then saw everything go downhill and now he was in a situation he never thought that he would have to face.
“Who is it?”
That was one question Jihoon had been asking himself for a week. Who were you? He became more alert to his surroundings while at home. In the quietness of his apartment, he kept his ears open, the volume of his tv was very low, so he could hear any sound coming from the hallway outside. He promised himself that the next time he saw you he would tell you everything, even if your reaction was bound to be bad.
There was no other way things would work out. You would have probably noticed that your mark had disappeared – one wouldn’t let something so huge go unnoticed – and you still failed to contact him. Jihoon knew that you weren’t simply a visitor to the building but even so, there had been no contact from your end.
“A girl who lives next door to me”
“You mean bakery girl?”
Jihoon watched in shock as Soonyoung pulled his phone from his pocket, touching the screen a few times before showing it to him and sure enough there you were. You looked at the camera and smiled happily, a huge cake in your hands. He pulled the phone from Soonyoung's hands, scrolling down through the feed of pictures. It was mostly of cakes and delicatessen pastries but your face was present now and then.
"What's stopping you then?"
The second the words left Soonyoung's mouth, he knew the answer.
He had known her his entire life, growing up he, Mina, and Soonyoung were inseparable. A trio that everyone knew, wherever they went. The three best friends did everything together, that remained close even when one of them found their soulmate. And then everything went to hell.
"So, you're gonna pretend this never happened for Mina?"
Jihoon shook his head, Soonyoung didn't understand it, no one did. It was more complicated than that. More than anything they were talking about someone who went through hell and back. He couldn't be the one to put her through that again.
"Mina had her chance, you know that, and now you have yours. She's literally two blocks away from here. I know you probably think I'm being mean, that I don't care at all about Mina. I do care about her. She is like my little sister and you're like my brother so I can't stand to watch you do this, especially because of the way you were raised"
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For days you managed to dodge it, completely avoiding the idea of elevator guy. But you could only go so far in avoiding Yumi, or perhaps the correct way to say is that one could ever avoid Yumi. She was by your side from the second you opened the bakery to the moment you turn off the lights and, sometimes, even at your place. She was unavoidable. And some days she was a complete pain in the ass.
Like that one Friday night when you closed the store a little earlier than usual because you had completely sold out - a fact that you weren't sad at all about. Yumi went home with you then, saying that the two of you should celebrate such a good day. Though her idea of celebrating included going clubbing and meeting guys, she settled down for pizza, beers, and Netflix.
It was only when you walked inside your building that you thought that it hadn't been a good idea at all to take her home with you. It would have been much easier to go to her place - it was also that much closer to work than yours.
Yumi gave you a devilish smirk as she walked straight by you and stopped in front of Mr. Kang, the lovely doorman of your building.
"Hi, Mr. Kang" she used her sweetest voice, not that she needed it because the older man was the kindest person in the world and she didn't have at all to sweet talk him "How are you?"
"Well, hello Miss Yumi. It's been a while since I saw you"
She crossed her arms over the counter that separated Mr. Kang from the rest of the reception area and leaned towards him.
"y/n is mean, she doesn't invite me over anymore" you rolled your eyes at that. Yumi never needed any sort of invitation to make herself at home "I'm looking for someone, maybe you could help me?"
The old man nodded, his eyes almost shining. You always forgot how much he liked talking to people. Once, when you gave him a few cupcakes he talked to you. Mr. Kang told you that he loved his job because it meant that he got to talk to people and do something for them. After his wife passed away and his daughter moved to another city, he felt alone. Being a doorman made sure that he always had people around, and that he always got to talk to someone even though people were sometimes awful.
It was sad.
"The other day y/n here got stuck in the elevator with someone and he forgot his coat inside. We wanted to return it and also give him some sweets, for keeping it for so long" she tapped lightly on the box you were carrying.
"Ah, Jihoon. You're lucky, he's home tonight. Apartment number 708, at the end of the hallway"
You held back the urge to groan at Mr. Kang's words. Elevator guy, now known as Jihoon, shouldn't be home at all. He should have moved somewhere else, or maybe he could be there just passing by to visit a friend and just happened to get stuck in the elevator with you.
During the entire week, Yumi asked why you weren't eager to meet him, your soulmate. And if you were allowed to say the truth, you weren't sure either. Maybe because your parents weren't soulmates and still found happiness in each other was one of the reasons. Or maybe it was because you never really cared about it. There was a little voice in the back of your mind, though. Saying all the things you never allowed yourself to think about, fears you did your best to pretend didn't at all exist.
It was a known fact that kids from parents that weren't soulmates had a hard time finding their own and when they finally did, they were rejected. What if Jihoon rejected you because of that? Because of something that you didn't take any part in.
You didn't resent your parents, not in the least. They were amazing and you were the happiest a child could be. It was beyond imaginable the fact that people would look down on you because of it.
Yumi thanked Mr. Kang for his help and pulled you towards the now perfectly functional elevator. She was chatting away, happy that got to see Jihoon again - or rather, happy that you would finally meet him. The box in your hands made it hard for her to see that you were shaking, the weight of it made your arms feel stiffer. Though visibly you looked fine, bored even, on the inside you weren't. You felt as if your limbs were made of jelly, shaking at the slightest pressure.
"Go and knock on his door and introduce yourself. It's going to be alright. Remember: the stars chose you two, so it can't be wrong" your friend said by your side.
How were you already at his door? The elevator went up so fast, you thought, you didn't even realize you got in. You had so many questions floating around in your mind through the week, all the things you could say to him. It all had been carefully planned but suddenly your mind was silent.
Before you could stop yourself, your feet were already retreating and you shook your head. You didn't want it, not at all.
"Don't make me act like a teenager, knock on his door and run away"
She took the box from your hands and pushed you forward. She gave you thumbs-up and a smile before disappearing through the door of your apartment. You took one last breath before finally tapping on his door lightly. Maybe, if you barely knocked on it then he wouldn't hear it, maybe his TV was loud enough that the sound could just blend in and disappear.
But such luck didn't exist. Barely a second later the door was pulled open. If you were to say that you had forgotten what he looked like it would be a lie. His face had been on your mind constantly. As if you were holding onto it for dear life - as if the image of him was the only thing keeping you sane.
What drew your attention to him first were his eyes. Brown eyes, hazel almost depending on the way they were hit by the light. That day in the elevator they were angry, hateful even. You took it, his anger, as if it was directed at you. It made no sense, you knew that. You were in that situation as much as he was, him being angry at you was pointless.
"Hi," you awkwardly said.
Were you always like that? You didn't think so, couldn't even remember a single moment you acted that way. Your dad always told you that you should hold yourself up, head high no matter what. Don't ever lower your head, especially if you did nothing wrong.
Being there wasn't wrong, you reassured yourself. You were simply following procedure. When one finds their soulmate they contact each other, get to know each other, and see where it leads them.
"This is going to sound weird but…"
"We are soulmates" he finished it for you.
His voice, Jihoon's voice, was like nothing you ever heard before. It ran through your body like warm waves. You had never heard it before, before that day a week earlier, but everything inside you made you believe that you had already. The way your body reacted to it wasn't like anything that happened to you before.
"Yes" you wished you had a coat on so you'd have a place to hide your hands "I'm not exactly sure how to do this"
He nodded at you before stepping aside and letting you in. Your shoulder brushed his and it was like you had flames inside your body.
Just what was happening to you?
Jihoon's place, much like you expected, was neat. It was painted in a light shade of grey with points of light scattered all over. You didn't know him, not at all despite the way you reacted to him, but that apartment screamed him, somehow.
"There's no easy or right way to say this, so I'll just be blunt about it" Jihoon closed his eyes for a second and when he finally opened them he looked anywhere but you "I have a girlfriend and I don't intend to end our relationship, even for my soulmate"
Jihoon wondered if you felt the same pang in the stomach he did. Your face was devoid of any emotion. The awkwardness and fear that were as clear as day just a second before, were now replaced with a carefully built mask. He could only hope that his face looked the same way, that he could seem as unbothered as you.
But his throat was almost closed up, the words were bitter on his tongue, the back of his neck on fire. Everything inside him was telling him to make a detour from his original plan. He deserved his happiness too. But he couldn't, the moment he opened his mouth to say something else, nothing came out. He wasn't that kind of guy, who would simply walk away from someone who had been by his side during his entire life.
"I'm sorry" was everything you said.
You didn't leave though, which Jihoon took as a good sign. If you weren't rushing to leave then maybe he hadn't completely messed up.
"It's no one's fault" he tried to reassure you "Somewhat weird but still…"
He wasn't even sure what he was saying anymore. Perhaps he should keep quiet and wait for you but talking when he was nervous or uncomfortable in some way or another was what he always did.
"I should go, right? Not make this any worse than it has to be"
You were already at the door when he noticed that you had moved. Had he been so lost in his mind that he didn't notice you?
Jihoon knew that it was for the best. If he kept his distance from you then he wouldn't feel it as much. He remembered his mom telling him that once the souls meet and spend time together it's hard for them to part ways, to the extent that it became physically draining for both sides. If he could just let you go, completely like you seemed willing to go, then it would be much easier. But he simply couldn't.
Unpredictability, you were right in front of him when it didn't even cross his mind that you could be the one he wanted to meet for most of his life. The quiet neighbor, whose house always smelled of something sweet, was his soulmate. How could he possibly let you go?
"Maybe… we could try being friends? I know it's not ideal, but no one ever said that just because we are soulmates we have to be in a romantic relationship. Staying close to each other might be enough"
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You never hated the word friends so much before. When you knocked on Jihoon's door, you were certain that he would reject you, entirely. It never crossed your mind that he would ask to be friends with you.
It was easy to figure out that someone like him was in a relationship. Most people were in one until they met their soulmate. You didn't expect him to come running towards you like everything that happened before you didn't exist at all. But a friend was a little more than what you could handle.
Truth be told, you didn't know what you could handle. Life had given you a hard time at every corner but, somehow, you always managed to take a step forward. Your life wasn't just about you. Chan was a big part of it and he was one of the reasons that made you get up every morning.
That's why you tried to push everything that happened Friday night away and just focus on what you had to do. Everything that still needed to be prepared.
Out of the blue, you received a huge order of cupcakes, bonbons, and a cake for a sweet sixteen party. It was probably someone who had hired a different bakery but wasn't going to get their order in time and needed to find someone else.
You stayed the entire day tucked away in the kitchen and the night before as well. You were certain that your arms were going to fall off at some point.
"Hey, Soonyoung is outside," Yumi said from the door.
The kitchen had been labeled as a danger zone, like your friend liked to say - apparently you went into "assassin mode" when stressed out. She had gone inside only a handful of times to get an order. It was a surprise to have her come in and talk to you.
"I can't right now" you murmured.
Okay, another batch, and we’re all done, you thought as you finished a cupcake.
"You need a break. He's with a friend that also wants to see you"
You groaned and almost cried. The only thing that kept you sane for the last 32 hours you had been inside the kitchen was the thought that with each passing second, you were closer to finishing it. What you wanted the most was to go home, lay down on your bed and maybe call Chan if you could talk by the end of the day.
Make no mistake, you liked Soonyoung, he was funny. Never before you had been around him without laughing your ass off. But at the moment you couldn't afford to be away from the kitchen.
Yet, despite knowing all of that, you didn't try to stop Yumi when she pulled you by the hand. As expected the store was empty, except for the table Soonyoung and his friend were sitting.
"Miss bakery!"
Soonyoung gave you his usual bright smile at the same time his friend turned to look at you. You wished you could just go back to hiding in the kitchen. Jihoon was the one sitting opposite Soonyoung. You became aware that you had dried icing on your arms, and probably on your hair too, which looked like death due to way too many hours unattended. And God forbid you to think about how your face looked running on no sleep for over 36 hours.
In what universe could you have imagined that Soonyoung and Jihoon were friends? You knew nothing about Jihoon. After he requested to be friends, you solemnly ignored him. When you crossed paths with him, once in the last two weeks, you only acknowledged his presence with a silent smile, exchanging a few glances.
"Someone hasn't been sleeping," he said in a disapproving tone.
"Or eating" Yumi completed.
The look on Soonyoung's face changed entirely and the friendly smile he had on just a second earlier was replaced by a frown.
"We've talked about this, haven't we?"
It was almost funny to hear him speak that way so seriously. It was easy to forget that behind the cheerful Soonyoung you've gotten to know since you opened the store, was a doctor who was really good at his job.
“Look, it’s been a long day, and as much as I want to stay here and chat with you three I still have to finish it off in the kitchen”
The truth was, you were only trying to avoid Jihoon.
Since you met him, Soonyoung had always provided you with a good laugh, doing a great job of taking your mind off whatever was stressing you out by sharing stories about his adventures while working on ER. Though you were certain that he said most of it to just boost his ego you were glad for the distraction. But, having Jihoon by his side, having to sit near him and pretend that nothing had happened was a little too much for you – especially in your current state.
You could still feel the bitter taste in your mouth when you walked inside your apartment. The rejection, delivered like a punch to your stomach, left you wanting nothing more than to crawl under your covers and sleep for a few hours until it was time to get ready for work again or maybe skip it altogether.
For years you promised yourself that you would never let someone do that to you, no one would make you feel like you weren’t worthy. But there you were, contemplating the idea of not going to work completely because of something some random guy did. Not completely random - my soulmate, you corrected yourself.
With a nod and a wave of your hand, you rushed back into the kitchen. Your heart beating like crazy inside your chest, your breathing suddenly becoming hard, and your body shaking from the inside out.
Taking a deep breath, you leaned against the sink, trying to steady yourself. All you wanted to do was go home and get some rest, and sleep for a few hours. Even though you only had one more batch to finish you still had to clean up. You couldn't go home and leave all that mess behind.
When you felt like your hands weren't shaking as badly, you reached for the icing bag. Thirty more and you were done, cleaning was the easy part.
You were on the last cupcake when the kitchen door opened again. This time you didn't turn around, sure that it was Yumi trying to get you to go home. With a loud sigh, you turned to her, cupcake now finished.
"I'm done, I just need to clean up"
However, it wasn't Yumi in the kitchen though. In front of you stood Jihoon, his arms lightly crossed over his chest. It seemed like he felt the same way as you, judging by the look on his face. His icy eyes, which always made you wonder if he was okay, widened slightly as he stared at you. His bottom lip stuck in between his teeth as he worked the courage to say something.
"I'll help you clean up" you shook your head but he was already pulling the extra apron from the hook behind the door and putting it on, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt "I'll wash the dishes since I don't know where you keep things"
His tone left no room for discussion. Jihoon walked past you, straight to the sink, already working on it while you stood in the same place you were when he walked in. You didn't understand why he was there, why he was insisting to help you. It wasn't that hard to understand the whole friendship thing but this was different.
When you left his apartment that day, you were sure that he only said that being friends crap to keep you at bay. Maybe he only said that because he was afraid you'd make a scene whenever you saw him with his girlfriend. He didn't know you so if he thought that then it was okay to some extent, he just didn't have to go so far to make sure you would keep quiet.
Even so, you accepted his help. While he did the dishes you put the materials away, boxing everything for delivery the next day. You worked on silence, neither one of you dared to say a single word to the other.
It was way past midnight when you walked out, locking the door behind you.
"Thank you for helping, you didn't have to though," you said to him.
He just shook his head at you and started to walk, while you stood still, fumbling with your phone to get a taxi or an Uber, whichever was faster.
"y/n?" Jihoon's voice was gentle, a little above a whisper. You hated how fast you reacted to him, the second he said your name, before the word was even completely out of his mouth, you were already looking at him, for him "Let's go home, my car is over there"
A shudder ran through your body when he said let’s go home, as if there was a place in common for the two of you. As if a home was somewhere you shared.
It was your turn to shake your head at him. You shouldn't get in his car. The one thing you should do was stay away from him, as far as possible.
"It's fine, I'll get an Uber"
You realized then that your hands were shaking so much that you could barely type in your home address. Damn Yumi for leaving with Soonyoung the first chance she got. If she stayed behind, like she always did, then you could say that you were going to her place. It wouldn't be a surprise; you always took turns sleeping at each other's place. But you no longer had that option.
It was no secret to Yumi that Jihoon had rejected you, and by the look Soonyoung gave you when you went inside, he knew it too. Those two were always plotting something and this time you were the one on the receiving end of it.
"You don't need to when my car is two stores down"
With a reluctant sigh, you agreed.
It was complete silence on the way home. You lived close enough to work, and some days you even adventured walking, but no car ride had ever lasted that long for you before - not even when you got stuck in a six-hour traffic jam while trying to go on a holiday with your family.
Jihoon didn't try o initiate any sort of conversation but you felt his eyes on you from time to time. You just played dumb over the situation. There was nothing to talk with him about. It was true that you didn't exchange that many words but what had been said was more than enough to create a barrier between the two of you.
"I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?" Jihoon was the first one to break the silence.
"You don't have to do this sort of thing, you know. Come and help. Please, don't do it again"
You didn't dare to look at him, so your hands were the only alternative. It seemed unlikely but you hoped that Jihoon would understand your words and don't come around again.
"I know it all sounds so weird. After you left my apartment I couldn’t spot thinking about how… unconventional… my suggestion might have seemed. There I was, telling you that we couldn't be together as soulmates but also asking you to not completely disappear. It's just…" he sighed, his fingers combing through his hair "Soulmates are kind of a huge deal for my family"
You didn't know what to say to that. All the words you learned through your life didn't exist anymore and silence was all you had.
Every time Jihoon said something trying to fix the stupidity he said before he only made it worse. This time it seemed that things has scalated. He saw it in the way your eyes flickered at him for half a second before looking away again.
"You want to stay close to me so your family won't get angry at you?"
Your voice was squeezed out, barely there. If he wasn't paying attention to you then he would probably have missed it. For once he wished he could be more eloquent with his words or that he could see you as just one of his patients. The latter would be much easier for him. No attachment meant that he could be straightforward. But with you, it didn't work like that at all.
Was he supposed to feel that way already, like his chest was being torn open?
"No, that's not it. I know it sounds bad. But I want to get to know you. The universe put us two together for a reason. Shouldn't we try to find out why?"
You shook your head. You didn't want to find out, create bonds or get close to him. It would be too hard to let go when it was time.
"You have a girlfriend and you made it clear that you want to stay by her side. And that's okay. If I were in a relationship I wouldn't want to leave them either. But this arrangement wouldn't be fair to anyone, neither to me, nor to you, but especially her"
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Though you told Jihoon to stay away, he didn't listen to you. He didn't try to talk to you or have any sort of contact but he always seemed to find himself inside your bakery, even if he wasn’t the biggest fan of sweets. It made you wonder if he was a doctor as Soonyoung told you. Shouldn't doctors be busy all the time? At least all the movies you watched in your life told you so.
You didn't want to admit that, even though you explicitly told him to leave you alone, you enjoyed seeing him around. There wasn't any contact between the two of you and if you could help it, you weren't the one to wait at his table, much to Soonyoung's dismay.
Some days when you closed the store earlier, you'd see Jihoon going inside your building, a bag in his hand and his hair a mess on top of his head. Those days you would wait fifteen minutes before going in. You didn't want to take any chances in meeting him and having to talk with him.
You had been prepared for rejection but it still hurt. Your entire life was surrounded by soulmates, by the amazing thing that love was. Even your parents, who weren't soulmates, still made you believe in love like there was no tomorrow.
And still, there you were, watching your soulmate from afar in hopes that the tingling feeling in your chest, whenever you saw him, would magically disappear.
"I want you to meet a friend of mine," Soonyoung said, popping in front of you.
Just a second before he had been sitting with Jihoon, talking lightly about work as both of them had their faces buried in a few books. It surprised you how quickly the bakery became a place they always went, even just for coffee - specialty when there was a coffee shop right in front of the hospital.
Soonyoung's voice was exceptionally louder and it wasn't that hard to find out why. The moment the words were out of his mouth Jihoon's head turned in your direction.
"Don't do that" you warned him.
"I'm not doing anything at all. I'm simply trying to help my friend start a relationship with a nice guy"
He gave you the most innocent look and Yumi joined him.
"I think you should go with it"
You rolled your eyes at both of them and tried to move away, pretending that you were off to clean tables and organize the window shop. But they knew better and followed you. You hated how suddenly your store, your precious dream, had become a high-school classroom.
"Born without a mark," Soonyoung said.
"Soulmate free" Yumi completed.
It's not like you never heard of it, people born without soul marks, you just never met one. They were rare, to say the very least. To the point soul scientists couldn't find enough "subjects" to study.
"It must be sad"
Imagine living in a world where absolutely everyone had a mark. Forget about the pretty and ugly ones, intricate designs, and simple shapes. It's not like they were born out of people who aren't soulmates, if that was the case then you shouldn't have gotten a mark for starters. Those kids are born of "normal" parents. They are known as a fault in the system.
An error.
"He doesn't seem to think so. He has gotten a few tattoos over the years, said those are all the marks he needs"
You just nodded at them and moved to the next table, while the two were still close behind. Jihoon had his face in the books again but he looked at you from the corner of his eye, following your every move.
"I'm not interested"
You weren't, it wasn't a lie. Before finding out who your soulmate was you weren't all that thoughtful of relationships, now your interest was even lower. You saw Jihoon try to stiff a smile but fail miserably.
"You should be, your soulmate is an asshole," Yumi said to you, leaving you with eyes wide open, and then turned to Jihoon "Yes, I'm talking about you. You're an asshole"
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Yumi said no lie but her words still hit Jihoon like a train without breaks. He knew it, felt it in his heart but he stood at a crossroads without knowing where to go.
On one end was Mina, safe and everything he ever knew, subject to his undying loyalty. Jihoon knew that no matter where life took him, he would always remain loyal to her. One can't just pretend an entire life by someone's side didn't exist.
On the other side was you, someone he knew nothing about but was destined to be with. Just the thought of having you meet someone else angered him.
It was no secret why Soonyoung did what he did. In fact, his friend told him that he was going to do so. "You made your decision. She gets to move on with her life too". Those words hit him like nothing ever before, much worse than anything Yumi could have said to him.
Growing up Jihoon had never, not even once, pictured his life without his soulmate. It didn't cross his mind that there was a possibility of him never meeting you. For him being with the one was as certain as the sky is blue. And still, he found himself at a point where life without his soulmate, without you, was a possibility. Or more like a certainty, considering how things were moving forward.
Jihoon had caught up with your plan of avoiding him. Sometimes he left the hospital at a certain time because he knew that he would get the chance of seeing you, even if it was briefly. Just for a second, he made himself believe that everything was as he always imagined. But on those nights when you saw him, you'd wait for him to go in before doing the same. That day, instead of doing just that, he stayed behind and pretend to go through his mailbox and even talked a little with Mr. Kang.
Exactly thirteen minutes later you walked in. At first, seeming quite unconcerned. Then you saw him, your eyes widening on your face and your keys dropping from your hands.
Perhaps that was the first time Jihoon realized that you did try your best to avoid him or it was the first time he allowed himself to think that way.
He waited as you got your keys back and walked inside the elevator. He went behind you, standing in the exact opposite direction of you.
"I won't go the store anymore," he said.
You just nodded at him, not daring to say anything. Your eyes were focused on the LED numbers showing the floors. Just two more and this will be over. But that would be too good to be true. For weeks, since they finally fixed it when you and Jihoon had gotten stuck last time, you had taken the elevator when going to work and when coming back home, and not once had it failed you. It just had to get stuck in that exact moment, didn't it?
With a sigh you sat down, your legs tucked under your body. You wished you had headphones inside your bag so you could just pretend to be busy with something.
"Mina knows about you, I wasn't doing anything behind her back," Jihoon said.
You never met Mina. Up until then had only heard her name twice and Soonyoung seemed distressed whenever he mentioned her. But if it was possible to dislike someone without ever meeting them, Mina was that person to you. She hadn't done anything really, she simply existed.
The most irrational side of your brain thought of her as someone that took something from you. To you, it seemed that she was the person who had control over your life while you were left on the sidelines watching as things simply unfolded in front of you.
"You're not a liar then. Good job"
Closing your eyes you rested your head against the metal wall. No one knew for how long you would stay trapped inside that thing. Mr. Kang was probably taking his dinner break and he usually took his time. Odds were that you would stay there for at least three hours. One until the doorman noticed that there was something wrong with the elevator, and another two for the maintenance guy to show up and fix it. If the maintenance guy picked up his phone. Considering that it was already past 11 pm, it was a long shot.
"Can I ask you something?" the words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. Jihoon only looked at you waiting for it "You cried a lot when we were kids. Why?"
He should have predicted that if one day you talked about the past that would have probably been one of your questions. Jihoon was a crybaby when he was a kid, the reason why he was always made fun of by his friends and others at school.
Jihoon wished he had a good reason, or even an excuse, to explain all of his cries but there was none.
"I was a very spoiled kid. I'm not trying to point fingers here, don't think that. My parents are doctors, soul doctors, and they were always working. I found out very early in life that if I cried just the right way I could get my nanny, and even my parents, to do whatever I wanted"
You smiled, your eyes getting much smaller on your face. It was probably the first time he had seen you smile so naturally and to something he said on top of that. It warmed his chest in a way he didn't expect. The feelings inside of him scared him at the same time that it amazed him.
"What about you? You didn't cry a whole lot but then you spent days crying"
He knew he shouldn't have asked anything when you gulped, your hands balled into fists against the floor to help you sit up. Jihoon had seen you uncomfortable many times before, all of them probably caused by him, but not quite like that.
"You don't have to answer that…"
You shook your head at him, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath.
"It was when my parents died" you forced the words out like it hurt to say them out loud "Car crash"
For the next four hours, the two of you stayed in silence.