Work Text:
short thing abt neo's psychosis
-
"Don't feel well."
Silver and Mecha both looked up to see their middle sibling signing something. He hadn't signed anything for most of the evening, so to have him speak all of a sudden - especially something like that - was a little odd.
Sign gave the brothers some privacy at the table. The usual suspects were with them at the restaurant - Amy, Tails, Knuckles, but Sonic couldn't make it. Figures. Fashionably late or just rude?
"Explain." Mecha gently offered, moving to sit a little closer.
Neo's optics flicked to the organics at the table for a moment, making sure that they weren't paying too much attention. His body language was noticeably stiff, nervous, and closed off - shoulders hunched to make himself smaller, leaning into the table as if for stability, claws tapping in an uneven rhythm against his armour plating in search of pressure.
Mecha waited patiently, watching with interest as Neo tried to self-soothe in his own ways. When Neo was in a poor mental state, he was often slower to reply - unusual for him, as he was usually so quick-witted and fierce in conversation.
"Episode." Neo eventually signed, chancing another nervous glance to the other beings around him. He was being paranoid and he knew it, he had that insight, but a lack of control over it even so. He worried that they were talking about him between themselves, perhaps telepathically, even if that was illogical for organics to be capable of.
Psychosis was something that Neo still didn't feel ready to speak about around his organic companions. His recovery from his deepest episode was a year or so behind them all now, but the ramifications of what he did during it still stayed with him - and with all of them, too. Even if they would smile and say it was alright if he told them, he knew that, deep down, they would be frightened. Afraid that it could happen again. But nobody was more afraid of that happening than Neo was, and that was something that he felt so many people would never understand. That terror gripped him somewhere deep in his core with claws sharper than his own.
All it took was that single "E" word. Silver and Mecha followed their unspoken routine straight away of making an excuse for them to leave swiftly and smoothly.
"One of the Pawns needs us back home for some security problem-" Silver quickly stepped in, stretching an arm above his head as if tired, "so we gotta go home now. Sorry to leave you guys hanging, maybe next time?"
"Aw, man! And the food isn't even here yet." Knuckles lamented, sitting back in his chair with a disappointed sigh. "Well, later, I guess."
"Oh, okay! Let us know when you get home safe!" Tails offered a smile and a thumbs-up to the robots, knowing that they often had their own private things going on. He didn't hold it against them.
"I know, sorry Knuckles- shit happens. And we will, Tails, thank you." Silver sheepishly apologized as he stood, and with Mecha's assistance, began to walk down the evening-lit street of Station Square with their middle sibling.
"It's okay." Silver murmured softly, holding Neo's hand securely and lovingly. "Let's just get home, you're all good. What happened? Too much going on?"
Neo nodded somberly. His optics darkened, reflecting how he truly felt - and Chaos it was a relief to be able to drop the sociable mask.
"Tell me about it, bro. The guys are nice and all, but they sure do know how to talk… and all the other noise, and being around people who used to hate us, it's just a lot to deal with." Silver agreed, keeping his brother close. "In my mind, it's overstimulating too, you know, being stuck in one place with all that stuff happening- what I mean is, you don't need to be disappointed or upset with yourself for this." Silver continued with a casual tone, trying to keep things normal. He gently released Neo's hand to allow him to sign more freely.
"Thought… remission." Neo explained his disappointment and anxiety with just two words, finding himself unable to speak as eloquently as he had before. The frustration of this brought a squint to his optics, and he looked down to the ground as if to avoid looks of shame - yet nobody was looking at him that way, and his brothers never would.
Mecha conducted a brief scan of Neo's systems and found something of interest. "Brother, you have failed to enter a full sleep mode cycle for one week. This is likely the cause of your relapse. Why have you avoided sleep mode for this amount of time?"
Neo paused, fumbling for words in his CPU that wouldn't come. What he wanted to say was - this was probably just some self-fulfilling prophetic cycle. He didn't sleep because he wanted to stay awake, and then he couldn't sleep because he was in prodrome, and now he couldn't sleep because he was in the active phase. In lieu of using any words, he sent his power status logs to Mecha and stayed quiet. Mecha mused over the data privately.
"Is my favourite one back?" Silver asked, still keeping a casual tone as he spoke.
"Bird? Yes." Neo replied briefly, gesturing with his elbow towards an unseen blue Flicky.
"I love that one. It's nice to you-" Silver replied with a small smile, before sensing he was being watched. His tone quickly changed in defense of his sibling.
The trio got a few looks of... concern? Confusion? Didn't matter either way. Silver was sure to shoot those people judgemental looks right back. He noticed one Mobian reach for their phone whilst watching them, as if to either call the cops or record them, and Silver quickly shut them down by baring his fangs at them. Next step would have been barking, but they quickly scuttled away into the side road. The public response made Neo feel ashamed, and he looked away toward the darker shadows of alleyways.
"Don't mind those idiots, bro. If they take a picture I'll bite 'em." Silver reassured Neo, being sure to bring Neo close to his side. "Wouldn't wanna mess with my bite force. You know I can crunch steel like it's candy. Plus, they don't even know about the nice Flicky that follows you, they're just jealous that they don't have a friend like that."
Meanwhile, Mecha kept a dutiful lookout to be sure that they would be safe on their walk home. She made sure to lead them away from crowded roads while keeping the route familiar. Neo's psychosis was no problem for the brothers, but Neo's immense power was somewhat of an issue - if he mistakenly thought there was an enemy ahead, he may act in self-defense and get into trouble. That was not what the brothers wanted at all, for obvious reasons.
And none of that was Neo's fault. To blame him would be cruel and unjust, and Silver and Mecha were well aware of that. They loved him no matter the situation.
"GUN following." Neo signed, glancing up to the sky with worry. This was another common hallucination of Neo's, and was the reason why the brothers avoided taking him home by flight.
"Oh, that? That's just a regular passenger plane, promise. I wonder where they're going today? Maybe to some tropical island resort?"
"GUN would not chance such a brazen attack, brother. We also made peace with the organization, if you recall." Mecha added gently, leading them around a parked car. "It is far more likely to be, as Silver suggested, a commercial passenger flight bound to some faraway destination. Not any of our concern."
Neo nodded slowly, and continued to follow with the utmost trust in his siblings to lead the way. With Mecha there to protect him, and Silver there to lift his spirits, Neo started to believe he would be okay again as he always was. The imaginary dragon's tail trailing behind him wrapped around them to protect them in turn in a silent, I love you, a silent, thank you.
-
The phone rang in Neo's room. He hesitated, discerning whether the sound was real or just another lousy hallucination, but he took a chance and picked it up. A familiar voice greeted him on the other end, and he immediately relaxed at the confirmation.
"Bro?"
Neo stayed quiet, instead focusing wholly on understanding the words spoken to him.
"I got a feeling you don't feel so hot. Mental link things."
Neo nodded to himself, forgetting that Sonic couldn't see his affirmation.
"You can't sleep either?"
"Too loud now." Neo finally responded, in the code that only he, Sonic, and his robot siblings could understand.
"I'm sorry, bro. I think it's… kinda my fault?"
Neo gave a quizzical beep - how on Earth did this come back around to Sonic? He moved to sit on his bed, figuring this might be a long conversation.
"I've not been getting my z's for the past week. My mind just won't settle and I'm always busy, you know? But I forgot- and I'm sorry- that we share this thing. We gotta look after ourselves."
Neo swatted an invisible fly from his nose. "Chicken and egg."
Sonic gave a laugh at the strange wording, but knew exactly what Neo meant by the phrase. "I dunno which one of us got like this first. Does it matter?"
"No."
The organic on the end of the phone snickered. "Neither of us seem capable of slowing down, do we?"
"Not for you."
"Touché. Welp, that leads me to the next question- which one of us can get to sleep the fastest?"
"Challenge?"
"Duh. Everything we do together is a challenge, Neo. I'll stay on the phone with you, and no cheating, got it?"
"How would I cheat?!" Neo asked, an exasperated tone becoming clear in his beeps. That was more like him, and the moment of clarity instantly brought him some confidence.
Sonic couldn't help but laugh. "I-I dunno, man- low power mode? If you have that? It's not the same as stand-by or whatever. Don't ask me, Tails is the one who's good with tech."
Neo moved to lie down on his side, holding the phone to his free ear with a roll of his optics. "Shutdown closes all of my programs and clears my RAM but does not shut off my kernel. This is close enough."
Sonic took a moment to appreciate the longer sentence, smiling to himself in the privacy of his own home. "A kernel? Like computer popcorn? Didn't take you for a foodie."
"No. That is Silver's… thing." Neo responded, shuffling a little to get comfortable. "A kernel is the core of an operating system. It has complete control over everything."
"Then let's cook that kernel and get some shut-eye. I'm tired as heck now. Laying down in three, two, one…"
True to his word, Sonic remained on the other end of the phone, and Neo forced himself into shutdown for an eight-hour cycle. Mecha peered into the room and lingered for a moment, watching her sibling rest like he deserved, and felt a sense of peace wash over her. She gave a single nod before turning off the lights. Her brother was a fighter through and through, and to battle with this affliction so young and with so much trauma brought her a deep sense of pride in him.
The snore on the other end of the phone almost got a laugh from Mecha. Almost. Neo curled up close to the phone as if trying to be closer to his organic sibling too, just before all power left his circuits.
"Sleep well, dragons. We shall try again tomorrow, and again the next day if that is what you need. There is power in rest."