Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Hello! I'm gonna slip some inside job headcanons here because OBSESSION HAVE STRUCKTH ME and yes I will put in my own character in this I am CRINGE AND IN DESPERATE NEED OF THESE CHARACTERS TO BE REAL

Anways

I'm new to this site so I'll prolly mess up but barenwith me lol

I'ma start with Brett because honestly he's amazing and I totally don't relate to him wtf do you mean I'm not weird i- (he's my top kin)

BRETT

Bisexual

Would wear a skirt if it was socially acceptable

Watches Shrek a concerning amount of times

Wears concealer or light makeup to hide imperfections

Has "spa days" where he just like hangs out and does self care and blasts music and just has fun by himself

Has a constant paranoia of what others think of him... could be completely fine one second then the next like "Everyone hates me what am I doing"

Sees a potential father figure in every man slightly older than him-

Favorite letter is S because it's squiggly.

Hides in the closet sometimes because he did when he was a kid and his parents were arguing or mad at him and the closet was a huge comfort place

To add to the last one, he has a bunch of stupid lil silly drawings in his closet

Passive aggressive sometimes

Pacifist(?)

Ghosts his friends sometimes because he's scared if he talks to them or texts them or anything they're gonna start to hate him

Has a collection of stress toys

Maybe has another job, since he doesn't get paid at Cognito and his parents may not give him money

To add to the last, has a small apartment with only necessities- but he doesn't hate it all that much

Really hates messes

Panics when he hears anything bad about the world that he can't fix

Loves penguins. I have no idea why. He just seems like a penguin sorta guy. Maybe cus je wears a suit, idk

That's all that come to mind right now, I really hope this site allows you to edit posts LoL

Anyways yeah!!! I'm always willing to hear other hcs so lemme know emmm

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REAGAN

Sometimes it takes her like a FULL WEEK to yet a joke and she'll laugh when she realizes what the joke was and then she'll feel bad that she didn't get it right away

Would quit working at Cognito if death or mind erasing wasn't involved without a second thought

She has a minor superiority complex

Really likes music but has no musical talent... maybe learned clarinet or flute or smth at one point but was bad at it

Doesn't believe in god(s) very much

Thinks that trust is very stupid, because hell- anyone could backstab you (trust issues gang ✨️✨️)

Actually has very strong hands, but besides that pretty pathetically weak

Doesn't know herself very well (from her favorite color to deep stuff)

Likes good smells (I mean, most people do, but Reagan especially)

To add to the last, goes to candle shops just for the smell-

Existential dread and guilt since yk the whole existence of Cognito is quite flawed

(After Ron getting his memory erased and yk) always thinks of Ron when she wakes up or goes to sleep, since iirc she last saw him in a bed

Has thought of changing her whole identity and moving away and never talking to anyone she knows ever again

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MYC!!!!!!!!!

His species actually feels human feelings very much, since they can read minds and sort of understand why humans act that way, if that makes sense, and he's especially sensitive since He's like super good at reading minds or whatever

To add to the last he very much dislikes having feelings and showing them BEVAUSD
His species thinks they're better than humans and that feelings are stupid so he's like
"No bad feelings"
If that makes sense?!

Doesn't like it when people get close to him

Hates the consistency of jelly

Goes on omegle and has a discord account where he's in some pretty problematic servers and he's definitely 100000% a troll

One day he acts better than everyone cus he believes that, then the next he acts better than everyone to compensate the fact that he thinks he's terrible

Would ride a motorcycle if there was a more... mushroom friendly version. Then would proceed to do very risky and stupid stunts with said motorcycle.

Does stupid risky stunts either way

Deep down he too is desperate for affection and people to like him BUT HES STUPID (lovingly) and doesn't want anyone to get to know the "real" him

Speaks his mind a lot, knows he has to stop but won't

Sometimes just. Lies down.

Hates kids

He really considers Andre a good and close friend

Slow with reading

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ANDRE

People call him Dr Dre just because it sounds and looks cool

He has a deep inner hatred of himself but covers it with d r u g s (ig that's canon)

Watches my little pony.

Listens to DEPRESSING FREAKING NUSIC

Perceives Myc as very unemotional and admires him for that

Loves donuts

Bad with electronics but an avid meme enjoyer

Loves them dark jokes

NEGLECTED by his parents which leads him to his self destructive behavior with some hopes deep inside that someone will pay attention to him and help him

To add to the previous got ignored a lot at school

Likes it when people put emphasis on differences (for example, some people regard a bass guitar as simply a guitar or as a bass guitar... he likes to refer to it as a bass guitar. If that makes sense?)

Sees Gigi as a sister (I don't know why I feel this way but I do-)

LOVES AJJ MUSIC VERY MUCH ESPEICALLY OLDE (Y) TYME (Y) (take a guess as to what I'm listening 2 rn..)

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I don't have kuch for her-

GIGI

She doubts herself very much all the time, constantly wanting to be better

She too has a love for the letter S

Judges herself a lot

SHED BE A COOL AUNT

Faux confidence

Would've loved to have had a job in some sort of spa place

Maybe her parents continuously try to make her be better when she doesn't know how to

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I have least for him sorry 😭

Scared of wars and armies in the way that he feels he needs to lead them (I have mo idea how to word this correctly)

Used to be a hopeless romantic, and had an adorable relationship with his wife until he started to become more violent

HAS A MURRICA HAT

That's all-

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My inside job charActer hehe

His name is Dallas, he's 28, he/they.

He works with Andre and is a stöner

Actually wasn't supposed to be hired, His sister was, but there were some mistakes made and boom he was hired

STUPID

Gets made fun of by myc 💀

He's pretty chill but definitely not a hardworker and does NOT want to work at Cognito (although he thinks if he gets fired or quits he'll just have to die so he's scared of that)

IS VERY INTIMIDATED BY EVERYONE AT COGNITO. Even BRETT!!!

Opening up to people?? Pfft, what's that

Lives in a very small apartment like super packed and smol and not cool

Plays bass guitar (the best guitar /j)

Isn't in contact with his family anymore

Will and has watched My Little Pony with Andre

Uncomfortable with all the s e x stuff in the company-

Like Reagan, is hopeless with romance

He would like to have a romantic relationship, however not only would they be bad at getting one they'd be bad at being in one too. They would never trust who he's with.

Has a cat named Cat.

☆anxiety☆ and self destructive habits

Drives only a bike 💯

Drives said bike over stupidly dangerous places, such as over a cliff, a lot

AJJ fan because because because AJJ

Will blast music and use lunch times as music and draw time

Not big on eating.

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I found out how to do picturesjahaibzhxbs

Dallas!!!!