Work Text:
Schlatt → Iskall
—
Schlatt
HEY
WHO THE FUCK’RE YOU
Iskall
??? who are you?
Schlatt
SOME GOVERNMENT DICKHEAD TOLD ME YOU’VE GOT MY KID
SO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
Iskall
how did you get my number
and what’s this got to do with my foster
Schlatt
NAME’S J SCHLATT
AND LIKE I SAID
SOME GOVERNMENT DICK TOLD ME THAT YOU’VE GOT MY SON TUBBO
SO WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Iskall
okay. number 1, please stop yelling
number 2, i didn’t really pick tubbo he was more or less given to me and my partner to take care of
Schlatt
okay fine
can i see him
Iskall
i mean uh
let me ask him if he wants to see you?
tubbo said he’d be fine with it
Schlatt
good he doesn’t have a choice
my contacts got ur address i’ll be there tomorrow
Iskall
EXCUSE ME
Schlatt
you ARE iskall, right?
or are you that jordan guy
Iskall
can we talk with some other people real fast
parenting is a blessing
—
Iskall has added Schlatt to the group chat
Schlatt
what’s up motherfuckers
guess who’s back from rehab
Iskall
please help me this strange man has started screaming in my dms i dont even know how he got my number
Dadza
holy shit i didn’t think they’d ever release you
welcome back m8
god is a woman
That’s schlatt for you, iskall
Schlatt
oh thank god you two are here
how’s tubbo been?
captain my captain
he’s alright! he’s at iskall and etho’s right now
Schlatt
who the fuck is etho
Iskall
my roommate
Schlatt
SO HAS HE EVEN SPENT A SINGLE DAY AT PHILZA MINECRAFT’S HOUSE???
Dadza
it got complicated after u left m8 but yes, a few
he mostly stays with his other dads
captain my captain
well i don’t think we’re really his dads
Iskall
jordan the adoption papers are framed on my wall and your signature is on them
Professional Disney Adult
Who is this guy?
Schlatt
j schlatt at your service
tubbo’s og dad
now who the FUCK are all of you, besides phil and kristin
Iskall
well i’m here
captain my captain
i’m jordan, the other person on tubbo’s adoption papers
Professional Disney Adult
Scar! Voted best person to have a good time with in 2020
And I thought Jordan and Iskall were Tubbo’s only dads?
Schlatt
shit’s complicated, i went to rehab he got taken away from me
but who’re you to tubbo
Professional Disney Adult
Oh haha. Occasional guardian when the time calls for it
Schlatt
that’s not vague or concerning at all
the one, the only, the slab
that’s scar for you! ^^
Schlatt
WHO THE FUCK’RE YOU
the one, the only, the slab
etho
i stay with iskall sometimes
Iskall
and make off with all my food
the one, the only, the slab
oh come on it was one time
Iskall
i will forgive you for it when the sun goes black
god is a woman has changed Schlatt’s display name to “deadbeat”
god is a woman
Better >:)
deadbeat
HEY. I WAS NOT A DEADBEAT
Dadza
idk u kinda were
the one, the only, the slab
once kristin changes ur name, u’ll never go back :(
Professional Disney Adult
Her judgment is final
Iskall
anyway the reason i added him is because he says he wants to see tubbo
i personally don’t think it’s a good idea
deadbeat
and i’m saying u’ve got no choice in the matter, i’ll be at ur apartment at 9 am sharp tomorrow morning
the one, the only, the slab
tubbo isn’t even going to be home
he’s got school
deadbeat
since when did my kid go to school?
captain my captain
i don’t think he’s just your kid anymore, schlatt
Dadza
yeah m8, he’s all of ours
deadbeat
oh my fucking god
Schlatt → Phil
—
Schlatt
philza i need u to explain this all to me asap
who the hell are all these strange men
Phil
it’s a right mess between us all but i’ll do my best
after u left, tubbo got dumped into the system. i guess at the time iskall and jordan were living together so they ended up taking care of tubbo and they liked him enough to adopt him in full
but they dont live together anymore? im not real sure
etho is iskall’s roommate, so he helps look after tubbo sometimes but they mostly just dick around
idfk how scar got into this mess but he’s here
and tubbo stays with me and kristin when he wants to