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Chapter Text

Xisuma had an eventful day. He’d just been strip-mining for some diamonds when he came across it. His first thought was some sort of structure, maybe Pillager, but the design didn’t match anything he’d ever seen from them, and X had seen it all.

Most natural structures were a lot older, like desert pyramids or ocean monuments. They were at best somewhat rural. But this? This was a lab, complete with TV screens, redstone lighting and even running computers.

And it was abandoned.

There was a thin layer of dust settled on most things in there. There was no sign of a scuffle, no sign of death, permanent or otherwise. Several computers were powered on, important documents open or reports abandoned mid sentence. It looked like a graveyard, to be honest.

He just wanted his diamonds, damn it.

It was funny, in the years to come, if X was ever asked if he regretted going down there, he would say no without a moment of hesitation. No, he’d never regret going down there and finding what he did. Finding who he did. But in the moment, he was wondering what he had been thinking, going down there. Wondering if he’d die down there. Wondering what had compelled him to stay in the first place.

Finally, after what felt like hours of wandering aimlessly around the claustrophobic hallways, the admin reached some form of control room. There was a small window at the back wall. The window was fogged up on the other side. Standing directly in front of it was a desk. There were two items lying on it, a stack of cassette tapes, and a player. A control panel sat behind them, partially obscured by the tapes.

It felt quite rude to go prying in someone's personal business by listening to the tapes, but Xisuma was curious.

The first tape had a title scrawled on it. ‘The first successful test.’ Interesting. With a shrug, he put it in.

[Click]

[Scientist]

This is Dr [REDACTED], referring to the NPC test. We believe we have found the means to give NPCs sentiency. Test subject: Knight_01. The concept is quite simple. An admin can modify and copy player code. If they copy in some player code to an NPC, it may advance it. This is the first test of this method, so failure is likely, however, I feel it is important to document this.

Bring him in.

[ There is a sound of a scuffle and a large thump ]

Ah… [REDACTED], was it? A pleasure to meet you. I believe you know why you are here.

[Admin]

I…I know what you do. I’m not gonna help. You’ll just hurt it. This won’t work.

[Scientist]

Now, now, you know what will happen if you don’t comply.

[ A long silence ]

Still resisting? A shame. I would hate for some of your servermates to become our next… guests .

[ A sharp intake of breath ]

[Admin]

You [REDACTED] monster. Why the [REDACTED] would you hurt them? They did nothing.

[ Another pause ]

Fine. I–Fine. You win. Just let them go.

[ Laughter ]

[Scientist]

I knew that you’d see sense. Place a mic in the subject’s chamber. 

Oh…don’t look so glum. You might be part of history. NPCs achieving player status? Can you imagine it? Of course, if we do succeed, this one wouldn’t make it out. Why would you release your first success out for the slaughter, after all.

[ More laughter ]

Oh well. Is the mic in place?

Good. Can you hear me, Knight_01?

[Knight_01]

Greetings, traveller. I would recommend—

[Scientist]

Skip.

[ The sound of armour clanking together, then silence. ]

That’s better. As you can tell, this is our subject. It is…unhuman. Now, it is our admin’s turn. [REDACTED], would you do the honours? 

[ A long pause, that lasts around thirty seconds, followed by the loud noise of metal colliding with concrete ]

[Admin]

It…It’s done. Can–will–?

[Scientist]

Take this pitiful fool and his ‘friends’ out of my sight. Prepare them for the next batch of experiments.

[ Yelling and a scuffle ]

Well, now that that’s dealt with, let's look at the subject. They have collapsed. Out cold. That’s…not a great sign, to be honest. Go check if it’s still breathing. If so, wake it up.

[Knight_01]

I–my head. Ow. What’s…what’s going on? Wait…what? Why am I–how am I…what?

[Scientist]

Oh my Void. It worked. It worked!

[ Clearing of throat ]

I mean…of course it did. I am a genius. 

[Knight_01]

If you don’t mind me asking…where are we? Who are you? Who am I? Why am I getting existential? How–

[Scientist]

You are in a lab. I just made you sentient. My name is Dr [REDACTED] but you will refer to me as ‘Sir’. You do not have a name. You shall respond to ‘NPC’ or ‘Knight_01’ as they are your type and designation. Am I clear?

[Knight_01]

Mmm-hmm. Sure.

[Scientist]

Good. Show it to its room.

End of tape.

[Click]

If there was ever a moment that Xisuma regretted his life choices, it was then. He couldn’t picture being in that admin’s shoes, having to choose between the right thing and his server. And then, after choosing his family, it being ripped away anyway. And the NPC…they wouldn’t even know that what was happening was wrong. They could be being hurt or tortured or manipulated, and never even know that it isn’t normal. They might’ve even died before getting a chance to see what the real world should’ve been.

It had physically pained him to listen to, but he needed to know more. He needed to know if he could help the victims of this. If there was any hope. He just had too.

One thing that he picked out as particularly strange was the admin’s voice. It sounded purposely distorted, as if someone wanted to hide his identity.

Picking another tape, about a quarter of the way down the stack, X sighed. This wasn’t what he pictured himself doing that day.

The tape read ‘New subject needed.’ 

‘ Oh Void. Oh Void. Oh Void. ’

Wishing he could stop himself, he entered the next tape.

[Click]

[Scientist]

Tape seventeen, regarding our NPC experiment. Today, we are attempting to discover if the NPC would be willing to kill. Given the fact that it is a knight, there is a fair chance of success, although the subject has expressed its distaste for us multiple times now.

Subject Knight_01, draw your sword.

[Knight_01]

(Sarcastically) Yes, sir.

[Scientist]

Enough of that tone, NPC. If you intend to be rude, just say it to my face.

[Knight_01]

Me? Rude? To you? Never. Not after everything you gave me.

[ The ‘swooshing’ sound of a sword being drawn ]

Alright, I’ve done it. Can I go now?

[Scientist]

No. Go into the adjoining room.

[ The sound of a door creaking open ]

You will see a man there. Kill him.

[Admin]

Fine…just get it over with. Make it quick.

[Scientist]

Make it as slow as you would like.

[Knight_01]

Why? What’s he done?

[Scientist]

Irrelevant.

[Admin]

I made the mistake of trusting them. I made the mistake of creating you .

[Knight_01]

You…you created me?

[Scientist]

He was merely a means to an end. Now do it.

[ A long silence ]

[Knight_01]

No. I won’t.

[Admin]

You…you what?

[Scientist]

You. What .

[Knight_01]

You heard me. I’m not gonna. You can do a lot of things, but I won’t do them fo—

[ Screaming ]

[Scientist]

A shame. However, this is an opportunity. This experiment is a failure, but we can use it as an example for our second test. Bring in the next subject, Knight_02, and get this failure back to its cell.. The admin? Oh, just put him with the others. 

End tape.

[Click]

This tape was somehow worse. Xisuma felt like puking. He didn’t want to stay. He couldn’t stay. But he had too. They still hadn’t killed either the NPC or admin yet. They might’ve lived.  

He raised his comm up, to talk to someone, anyone. He just needed to know that his family was ok, but it was glitching and staticy. A jolt of fear shot through him. What if they’d been taken? What if that monster was planning on making them something? What if–

He couldn’t bear to think about how that maniacal monster would react to the Hermits. They were an odd group, to say the least. He would probably love to see how some of them worked.

In an (idiotic) attempt to distract himself, Xisuma grabbed yet another tape. This one was titled ‘NPCs plan to escape.’

With a heavy sigh, he shoved it in.

[Click]

[Scientist]

This tape is…special. Obviously, the NPCs’ cells are bugged. This is a half-baked plan that those idiots attempted to formulate while they thought no one could listen. A shame. I had hope for Knight_02. If they do try and break out, however, we’ll be ready.

[Knight_01]

So…do you like it here?

[Knight_02]

What? What sort of a question is that? Of course I don’t. It’s horrible. Any time we even slightly step out of line, they hurt us. Any time we refuse to do something, they hurt us. This place really takes the ‘fun’ outta ‘fungus’.

[Knight_01]

What does that even mean?

[Knight_02]

No clue. Wanna break out?

[Knight_01]

I–wha–I mean obviously but…how? 

[Knight_02]

Leave that to me. But first, we’ve gotta get names, like [REDACTED]. Quick, give yourself a name.

[Knight_01]

I…I don’t know.

[ A sigh ]

[Knight_02]

Alright, what’s something you like?

[Knight_01]

I…I mean, desert wells look cool. Wait. Wells. I like that.

[Knight_02]

Change the spelling though. That makes it a bit less obvious.

[Knight_01]

You mean like W-E-L-S? Yeah. That works.

[Knight_02]

And I’ll be Hels, ya know, your evil twin.

[Wels]

Evil?

[Hels]

It’ll be funny.

[Wels]

That’s fair.

[Hels]

We should try to be ready for next week. The sooner the better.

[Scientist]

As you could tell from the tape, the subjects are …defective. They have given themselves names, not allowed. They are planning to escape, not allowed.

Oh well. I’ve been looking for an excuse to decommission them for a while.

Tape end.

[Click]

Xisuma felt a small smile creep up his face. Maybe they were okay. Maybe they even killed the scientist. Maybe this story would have a happy ending.

The second NPC, Hels, seemed nice enough. His voice was strange, to be honest. It was like Wels’ but as if there was a filter on it.

With a shrug, he reached for the bottom tape.

Maybe it would be okay.

[Click]

[Scientist]

I didn’t think you’d be bold enough to go through with this, NPC. Knight_02, maybe, but Knight_01? I expected better.

[Hels]

We have names, you [REDACTED] mother[REDACTED]. 

[Scientist]

This is truly incredible. You both have advanced so far. It’s almost a shame that we’ll have to store you away for the foreseeable future.

[Wels]

What…what are you talking about. We’re gonna be free…right?

[Hels]

Yeah, you’re misreading this situation. It’s us who have you at sword point. Not (what was it)... vice verso?

[Wels]

Versa

[Hels]

Verso…versa. Whatever.

[Scientist]

You may have got past the guard, but you forgot one key detail. You forgot about the silent alarm.

[ Shouting, sound of door being broken down ]

Now, take them both. Freeze them. We may need them later.

[Wels]

I’m sorry. But only one of us can escape. And it has to be you. I’ll hold them off. Destroy the portal on the other side.

[ Metal on metal, yelling ]

I…I’m sorry.

[Scientist]

How…cute. One of the NPCs sacrificed itself for the other. 

Take it away.

[Click]

The realisation hit Xisuma like a truck. The window, the panel, the tapes being in this room specifically. Without a moment of hesitation, he hit the largest button on the panel, sweeping the other tapes onto the grime-coated floor.

With a groan, one of the panels on the wall gave way, and an armour clad figure fell out causing a reverberating clattering noise to ring out across the room.

It was at that point that Xisuma finally knew what he was doing there.

Chapter Text

The first thing Wels was aware of was that he was still there . They still had him. All he could do was hope that Hels had made it away. With a groan, he pulled himself up, leaning on a table.

Once he was upright, the NPC noticed something strange. There was a man just standing there, staring at him. His face was obscured by a helmet. He was wearing armour too, so Wels’ mind immediately went to the idea that he might be an NPC. But that couldn’t be right. He didn’t seem injured, confused or scared in the slightest. The next thought was that he was another scientist, but that didn’t seem true either. Those scientists loved a villain monologue, and this man was completely silent.

“Uhh…hi?” Wels said in an attempt to break the ice. “Hello.” The man responded. His voice was…but that’s impossible. Probably just a coincidence. “Are you okay?” The NPC froze. The last person to ask that had been Hels. Was that a common saying? Did people actually care about that sort of thing? Did this man not know what he is?

“I–yeah. Who…who are you? What’s going on? Where is everyone?” He immediately felt guilty for overloading him with questions. He’d been told that it was a ‘NPCs habit that must be stamped out.’ Before Wels could open his mouth to apologise, the man took a step forwards. He felt himself involuntarily flinch backwards.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you.” His voice was surprisingly gentle. That tone normally meant trouble. Normally meant that he wasn’t going to make it out of the conversation intact. Wels prepared for the worst. “I’m Xisuma. I honestly don’t know what's going on, I just stumbled across this place while mining. There’s no one else here. I think they left a long time ago.”

Several thoughts hit Wels at once. ‘ What’s an X-eye-suma? What’s mining? How long was I in there for?’

“Ihsuma, and that’s my name. Mining is where you take a pickaxe and hit rocks with it over and over again until you find something shiny. I don’t know when you went in there, but it’s early 2016.”

Wels hadn’t even realised that he’d said that aloud. He might have a concussion. Wait…2016?

“Yeah, I think you may be slightly delirious from being in there.”

Ah he’d said that aloud too.

It honestly hurt Xisuma to listen to the NPC ramble on about simple things, asking questions that even children knew. It made him wonder what those monsters had taught him. “Come on, let's get you outta here.” For probably the tenth time since he’d woken up, Wels’ eyes filled with fear. “To another lab?”

Dear Void, this was breaking X’s heart. “No, home.” Wels frowned at him. “Home? Where’s that?” Yep, Xisuma was adopting yet another traumatised ‘child’ yet again. “It’s a server called Hermitcraft. We’ll help you get up to speed and help you with those injuries–” The NPC immediately attempted to hide the bruises and scratches spanning his arms and face. “What injuries?” He asked, with feigned innocence.

“–Then you can leave, if you want.” Yet again, he froze. “Wait, I get to choose. That’s…never happened before.”

Dear. Void.

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want,” Wels nodded gratefully. “Can you walk?”

“Can I walk? Good question.” He stepped forwards, before promptly falling flat on his face. “No. No I cannot.”

Attempting to stifle a chuckle, Xisuma walked over to help him up. He noticed but decided to ignore the way the NPC stiffened at his touch. Once he was back up on his feet, Wels looked at him in shock. “Hey, that didn’t hurt! I didn’t know that was possible.”

X was gonna hunt down and permakill every last one of them.

“Okay, would it be easier for me to carry you or just support you?” A flicker of confusion passed over Wels’ face. “What’s the difference?” The admin cringed internally. This was gonna be a long trip. “If I carry you, you won’t be touching the floor, if I support you, then you will be, but just leaning on me.”

For a good ten seconds, the NPC went silent, as if contemplating this. “I’d prefer to be supported, if that’s okay.” Xisuma nodded, grabbing his arm and pulling it over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you back.”

Once he left the facility, the admin’s comm started working again. Luckily, he wasn’t that far off of his base. He paused for a minute to tell the others what was going on. “What’s that?” Wels asked, pointing at the comm. “Oh…that? That’s my communicator. It’s how I know where things are, look after my friends and stop people from entering our world without permission. We’re probably gonna have to get you one too.”

He nodded, a look of resignation passing over his face. “Okay, so another metal thing I can’t take off. Fun.” Xisuma winced at that…statement. “No, no, you can take it off. Plus you don’t need one, it’ll help, but no one’s forcing you.”

The NPC hummed in recognition, but didn’t say anything afterward

When Wels arrived at this man - Xisuma - ‘s house, he honestly was expecting another lab. Despite all of his assurances and attempts to be nice, it felt clear that this was a trap of some kind. After all, no one’s that nice for no reason. There has to be some sort of motive.

To his shock, it was an actual house. Partially under construction, but with a distinct lack of lab equipment and one way mirrors, it was good enough for him.

“Alright, Impulse and Tango are coming over with some stuff.” Ah. Stuff. That’s not great.

After a couple of minutes of waiting in silence, punctuated by Xisuma occasionally looking over like he was about to say something, then thinking better of it, two more people arrived. 

One of them was clearly, painfully human. His hair was just a bland, normal brown. He wore a black shirt with some grey…symbol on it that resembled a strange face. The other one was not.

His eyes were bright, flaming red. 

Oh dear Void.

With a cringe, he backed away slightly. Immediately, Xisuma was there. “No, that’s just Tango. He’s a friend.”

‘They’re friends with that ? How? Why? Does that mean that they’d accept m–’ He cut off that train of thought immediately. They were just a diverse group. He probably had no real connection to his past, no oddities, not like himself.

The human (Impulse, presumably) leaned over to Xisuma “Uhh…We brought soup.” 

‘What the hell is a soup?’

Wels got the distinct feeling that the leader (because he was obviously the leader of this group) was smiling under his helmet. “Do you know what it is?” He asked, somehow knowing the unasked question.

“Nope.” Wels responded, cringing as he did. Those were probably normal things for people. There was no way they’d keep him around if he didn’t know things like that.

The blaze shoved something -presumably this ‘soup’- into his hands. “Put this in your hole.” The other two both turned to him, Xisuma having the posture of someone who was simply disappointed while Impulse was shaking with suppressed laughter.

The trio all began talking about ‘bases’ and ‘whitelisting’, whatever those are. Wels turned his attention to the item in his hands. It was made of wood, semicircle shaped and hollow. Inside it was some form of liquid with chunks in it. He assumed that he wasn’t meant to put the semicircle into his ‘hole’, deciding that the liquid was the soup.

That left one question: which hole? With a shrug, he settled with his nose. That had holes. He lifted the soup up, and tipped it back.

Instant regret.

Wels immediately doubled back, choking and spluttering. ‘That was…not great.’ The three players all turned to him, concern filling their faces. Tango let out a chuckle while Impulse glared at him accusingly. “Tango! Why? Why weren’t you specific?” Xisuma breathed out a long-suffering sigh. “Sorry about that. Tango should’ve known better,” The blaze still was laughing hysterically. “You put it in your mouth.”

‘Ah. That’d explain it.’

Impulse’s mock annoyance disappeared immediately, replaced by…apathy? Confusion? Anger? “You…you don’t know how to eat?” Wels shook his head, feeling a bit too embarrassed to say anything. The human turned to Xisuma, voice shaking slightly with pure rage. “I’m gonna kill all of them. Where are they?”

‘Oh dear void…I’ve only been here five minutes and have incited violence. That’s…not great, to be honest.’

Wels didn’t really know who ‘them’ was, so he just kept listening. The leader sighed. “Trust me, if they were still there, I’d have done it already. The lab was empty.”

Right. Them .

That left one major question though. Why did they care?

With a shrug, he went back to his soup. Properly.

Xisuma had had a stressful day. Obviously he wasn’t going to keep the NPC prisoner, but he had a feeling that he’d attempt to escape. If he did, there would be nowhere to go. Those monsters might find him. After years of dealing with the Hermits, he had a vague idea as to how to deal with traumatised people.

That being said, he had no clue as to what to do. 

Said traumatised NPC was currently sitting in the corner of the house, happily enjoying his soup. Impulse leaned over to X and asked: “What do we do?”

For the first time ever, the admin gave the worst answer possible. The one answer to that question that he hated beyond anything else. “I…I don’t know.”

As if to prove how deep in they were, Wels suddenly looked up cheerfully saying: “Hey, I’ve just realised something. This is the first time I’ve been near this many players without at least one wanting to kill/rob me. Cool.”

Then he went back to the soup.

Dear. Void.

Well, now all Xisuma had to do was tell the others properly what had happened.

“Alright, I’ve picked up another traumatised not-quite-human. See you later.”

This wasn’t gonna be fun.

A week had passed, and Wels wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been kicked out yet. Somehow, nothing bad had happened. There had been no mad scientists (just a few redstoners with too much time on their hands), no labs, nothing. Honestly, they’d all just been…nice.

Xisuma had even taught him a decent amount of player things. For an example: redstone. It was difficult at first, but over time it was starting to make sense.

To be honest, the knight only had one question: How long until they got bored of him. It was an inevitability. The novelty of having a sentient NPC would wear off, and he’d have to leave, hopefully in one piece.

With a shrug, he decided to bite the bullet (what a strange expression, players are weird) and just ask. Something J– the doctor would kill him for. It was better than being taken by surprise.

The admin was standing outside his house, making some form of improvement (as usual) while idly humming. “Xisuma, may I talk to you?” He immediately put down the blocks he was holding and walked over. “Sure, what’s going on?”

Wels sighed. ‘Okay, deep breath. Just say it, and be prepared to leg it.’ “When do you want me to leave?”

Xisuma recoiled, as if struck. “You…what? What? Goodness me, are you waiting for someone to ask you to leave?” With no better response, he simply nodded. This had been a mistake. A big mistake. A huge mistake. A–

“We’re not going to ask you to leave.” ‘What?’ “Oh goodness…if I’d known…”

He almost seemed to be thinking aloud, cutting off sentences every now and then. Finally, Xisuma seemed to come to a conclusion. “You can leave when and if you want.”

Yep, he’d said that before. Not very helpful. “Yes, but what’s the limit? How long do I have before I have to leave?”

The admin shook his head in either shock or disappointment (although for Wels, those emotions were usually linked) “You can stay if you want. There is no limit for how long you have. You can stay forever, if that’s what you want.”

Ooooh. Oh. “Wait…seriously? I can stay?” Xisuma let out a small chuckle. “Yeah. This is your home.” 

To be honest, Wels wasn’t sure what he was doing. He launched himself at Xisuma, grabbing him into a ‘hug’. “Thank you, Xisuma.” He whispered, not realising that he was crying until the water hit his armour.

Xisuma chuckled again. “You don’t have to thank me. Also, you can call me X, if you want.”

This might be okay.

Chapter Text

Present day (Well…2016, but yeah)

The last thing Xisuma expected when waking up was a knight standing over him, face neutral and unreadable, talking in a perfect monotone about how the west caverns are dangerous’ and how he’d ‘lost many good knights to them’.

But that was just his life now.

“Uhh…you okay?” He asked, with nothing better to say. Wels just carried on talking. And talking. And talking. Half of it didn’t even make sense. It was like someone had taken audio from a movie, chopped it up and then tried to put it back together without listening to it at all. 

“Oh…this is an NPC thing, isn’t it?” With no response aside from more idle chatter, the voidwalker sat up, tapping his friend's arm. Nothing.

X brought up his friend’s code next. Maybe he could stop this from there. It was fairly easy to distinguish between player and NPC code normally, but here? It was mashed together and glitching, lines vanishing and reappearing before his very eyes. 

Unsurprisingly, he left the code. 

“Okay, so, this isn’t a mental breakdown, because the code is glitching. This could be residual effects from the lab, or the transfer was done improperly, or…”

Honestly, he didn’t know what to do. Calling Doc or Stress or anyone with medical knowledge wouldn’t help, as this wasn’t medical. His co-admins would be useless too, as this was unintelligible, there was no sense to this apparent seizure Wels’ code was having.

“Alright…what if I could skip the dialogue?” The second the word ‘skip’ came out of his mouth, Xisuma knew something had changed, almost like a heavy fog had lifted.

The knight’s face fell from the neutral expression to one of pure horror. “Oh…Oh gods…I’m so sorry.”

With that he left.

The next day, Xisuma got the feeling Wels was avoiding him. Any time he asked his friend to meet up, there was some excuse.

Seriously, who managed to lose an Ender Dragon? They’re in the End. End of story.

He decided to just go and confront him.

“Are you alright?” Wels had been leaning against a wall, sorting through a chest when the admin finally managed to corner him. He let out a yelp and almost fell over (and that totally didn’t make Xisuma scream too, no way).

“Yeah. I’m–I’ve gotta–Bye!”

The knight turned to run off, but X was quick and grabbed his arm. “Why are you avoiding me? What’s going on? Is this about last night?”

Wels nodded awkwardly. “Yeah…I was worried that you’d uhh…make me…leave?” The admin froze in pure horror, so the NPC hastily backtracked, “But that’s your decision, and I can go grab my stuff now. Or not. Yeah, I’ll leave the stuff. I’ll just go.”

X felt a migraine coming on. “You think that because you…NPC’d, I want you to leave?” All he got was a nod in reply.

“Goodness me, alright, if I followed that logic, and got rid of anyone who showed any traits from their hybridity, there’d be like…two people on the server. If I kicked Doc out when he hissed like a creeper, or Ren any time he chased a bone or stick someone threw… this server would’ve been empty years ago. I wouldn’t even be here.”

The realisation hit him.

“ They made you think this, didn’t they?”

Another nod.

“Alright, look. I’m a voidwalker. If I take off this helmet and am not in the End, I’d die within minutes. There’s nothing wrong with being a hybrid. I promise, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, no one cares.”

‘Well…that was one way to put it.’

To his surprise, it actually seemed to help. His friend put on a smile, before saying “Well, if that’s all, I’d better–”

“Do you mind if I check your code first?”

The NPC shot Xisuma a quizzical look.

“I took a look last night, to see if I could do anything, and it…wasn’t great. I just want to see if it’s alright now or not.”

After several moments of deliberation, Wels nodded. “What do I need to do?”

“Just stand there please.”

X pulled up his admin console, clicking on the knight’s player icon and maximising it. What he saw was…interesting.

“Alright, I have good news, and I honestly don’t know what sort of news the other one would fall under. What do you want to hear first?”

“Good.”

“You have no permanent damage. Whatever happened wasn’t harmful.”

“And the confusing news?”

“You’re a player.”

That stopped the knight. “Huh? What do you mean ‘I’m a player’? I’m an NPC, r–right?”

Xisuma let out a sigh. “All your NPC code is gone, aside from your appearance. It’s been replaced. You’re a player now.”

“Oh.”

With nothing better to say and no idea what to do, he reached out to pull his friend into a hug. “Whatever happens to your code, you’re still one of us, okay.” A simple nod was all he got back, but that was all he needed.

Chapter Text

Two years earlier

Exiona hated the Nether. The End was superior in so many ways, lack of lava, for one. Endermen were so much easier to get along with than Piglins. At least they didn’t attack you based on what you were wearing. Endermen basically just had really, really bad social anxiety. 

Another part of the Nether that sucked was the fact that he was alone. 

Sure, Xisuma wasn’t that far away, but coming crawling back to him after so long just felt…pathetic. 

It was ironic that the day he thought that was the day it all changed.

After strolling through the warped forest for a good hour, Ex concluded that it sucked. Way too small, not enough Endermen. Worst of all, it was blue . Why of all colours did the one place with ‘familiar faces’ have to be blue?

Breathing out a heavy sigh, he walked away, attempting to ignore the snort of the over-glorified pork chops behind him, and the remorseless pulsing of the lava before him. Looking around, there wasn’t any natural way past the river, meaning that he would have to play . He was going to have to punch down a tree like a normal player.

Resigning himself to his fate, Exiona turned back to the forest. As he turned, a glint of something caught his eye. Slowly moving to face the source, he found probably the last thing he would expect lying on the netherrack next to the river.

A player. Or at least what he assumed was a player.

Their armour was dark grey, and unlike any that Exiona had seen on a player. It looked almost NPC in origin. The strangest part of it was the plume on the top of the helmet. Rather than feathers, it was literally made of fire. 

The person themselves had dirty-blonde hair, skin that was too pale to be healthy, and an impossibly thin frame. It was clear that whoever they were, they didn’t come from the best situation. Approaching, Ex could see that their face was riddled with scars and scratches, some still bleeding.

“Hey…you alright?”

Dumb question.

To his shock, they lifted their head to fix him with a glare. “What do you think? I’m lying next to a pool of lava, am covered in injuries, and haven’t eaten in…six days.”

Their eyes were a startling shade of red, almost exactly matching Exiona’s armour. “Right, right. How did this happen, exactly? While I’m at it, what’s your name and pronouns?”

It made sense to at least know some facts, and be sure that he wasn’t talking to a serial killer or something. (Not that Exiona would mind much. He did know some serial killers that were quite fun to hang out with)

“I fell through a portal, got kidnapped by some…I want to say pigs…and dumped here when they realised I don’t have anything useful. The injuries were either from said dumping, or from the lab, where I left. I haven’t eaten in six days because some scientists thought it’d be funny. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. My name is Hels Knight…I guess, and I have no idea what a ‘pronouns’ is.”

“Pronouns are your gender. The most common ones are he/him, she/her and they/them. You can use them instead of someone’s name. And…you were in a lab? What the hell?”

“Well…they always referred to me as ‘it’, so I guess that works.” He decisively didn’t answer the lab question, which was understandable.

“Alright, I should be able to get you some health pots. Give me a sec.” Turning his attention to his communicator, Exiona began to type a message to his brother. 

Private chat – Xisumavoid

<TheWorseOne> I needf you to /give me a few heaalth pots asap

<TheBetterOne> What? Why?

<TheWorseOne> no time he might diew

<TheBetterOne> Who? (Have given them btw)

Looking up from his screen, Ex checked his inventory. Three glowing health potions were there. Thank the void.

“Here.” He offered one to Hels, deciding that it probably didn’t want to be fed them. “I have no idea what these are, but sure.” It grabbed it out of his hands, and downed it at once.

“What the…that actually…helped?” It seemed almost stunned that the potion worked. To be fair, it probably didn’t know much about…well anything, to be honest. With the lab and all that.

“Alright, my ‘evil lair’ isn’t that far away. You think you can walk?”

“Sure.”

Somehow, the knight got up off the floor in spite of everything, and walked over to Exiona, with only a slight stagger. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Chapter Text

“And then I melted, just melted, like puddle on the floor, no arms or legs or anything. And then–”

Wels grinned at Jevin’s story. It was dumb, unbelievable, but entertaining, and sometimes that was all that was needed. He leaned back, putting an arm behind him. Suddenly, he jolted forwards, the sickening feeling of something moving filling his left arm. 

“Hey, you alright?” Beef asked, interrupting Jevin to stare at his friend worriedly.

“Yeah…I might’ve dislocated my arm though.”

“I’m sorry…WHAT?!”

He sighed, tugging the armplates of his armour off. Pulling up his sleeve once it was off, Wels was faced with a very clearly dislocated arm. Very. Clearly. “Yep, dislocated. Great .”

“Oh my god.” Beef exclaimed, staring at it in pure horror. Jevin (being a slime) just looked a bit confused to be honest.

“I should probably go get X, shouldn’t I?”

“YES!” He screeched, as Jevin muttered “It shouldn’t look like that, right?”

“I’ll go.” The slime offered, already getting up. Wels shrugged, saying: “Nah, it’s my arm that’s dislocated, not my legs. I can walk. He’s just over there. I’ll be fine.”

Ignoring Beef’s shock, he got up, running over to the admin.

“Hey Wels, what’s going on.”

“I appear to have dislocated my arm.” Wels said in the most calm, deadpan monotone possible. Xisuma immediately did a double take. “What…you…what? Are you sure? You don’t seem that hurt.”

Deciding that it was easier to just show him, the knight lifted up his sleeve again. X let out a small shriek, before practically slapping his communicator in his haste to type. Once he was done, he let out a sigh of relief. “Alright, Doc’s on his way, he’ll set it. You feeling alright?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t hurt or anything.” Xisuma did yet another double take, spluttering “Are we looking at the same injury here? Dislocations are agony.” Wels wasn’t 100% sure why X was saying that, he’d dislocated limbs before, and it never hurt, so he just shrugged.

The ‘whoosh’ of rockets alerted them to Doc’s arrival. He looked between them in confusion for about twenty seconds, before finally saying “I’m here. Where’s the arm?” 

“Attached to my shoulder?”

“Wait… your arm is dislocated?”
“Yeah.”

“But you’re not screaming in pain.”

“Yeah?”

“And don’t seem hurt at all.”

“...yeah?”

“Let me see it.”

With a shrug, the knight pulled up his sleeve yet again to show him, before stopping. “Oh, it’s gone back in. Huh. Sorry to waste your time.”

“What? What? What? What? What?” Each time Xisuma said it, his voice raised in both pitch and volume, ending in an almost demonic screech.

Electing to ignore whatever X was going on about, Wels turned around, sitting back down next to Jevin and Beef, and saying “Well, sorry about that interruption Jevin.”

Both of the Hermits just stared at him, mouths agape. After several long seconds, the slime turned to Beef. “Are you sure that you described it right? There is a noticeable lack of pained screeching.”

Beef proceeded to screech extremely loudly.

“Oh…there it is.” Jevin said with a shrug.