Work Text:
“Dearest Ranpo,” I started to write, but my fingers shook so much that I pushed the pen too hard into the paper and my handwriting was all messed up, the lines curving and turning into sharp edges.
I decided to start with pencil- the permanence of the pen was far too much for what I was going to write. I sat in my chair again, in my spacious office full of books. I started to write once more, except with the pencil.
“Dearest R-, SNAP!” I pause. the pencil lead broke. how hard could writing a letter be?? I huffed and got up to get a sharpened pencil. my fingers felt so clammy as i picked up a new writing utensil, Karl at my feet. I walked back to my desk and repositioned myself in the chair. I took a deep breath, trying to suppress my nervousness. The pencil made contact with the paper.
“Dearest Ranpo,
I would like to inform you of something very important to me. This is very unprofessional of me, but I would like you to be aware that I seem to-“ I sighed. Should i really admit this…? I guess i should…I continue to write, the pencil sliding around in my sweaty palms, “enjoy your presence. Would you, perhaps, as my rival of course, be willing to take an outing into town with me sometime soon? There will be lots of snacks and food shops, I promise. Please allow it to be my treat.
Yours truly,
Edgar Allan Poe”
I drop the pencil, and it lands onto the wooden desk, before rolling off and onto the carpet. Karl looked at me with his beady raccoon eyes, confused.
“Don’t worry Karl, I am okay,” I pat his tiny head, reassuring him, but also mostly myself. What if he rejects me..? I sigh yet again, opening a desk drawer and taking out a sleek, white envelope to put the letter inside of. I lick the envelope to seal it shut, before I use my pen to address it to the Armed Detective Agency. I put the stamp in the corner and get up to put it in the mail.
Timeskip
I wait anxiously for a response, pacing in a nervous manner around my mansion, Karl also following. My head was spinning with possible outcomes and answers. What if he hates me? Or never wants to see me again? Maybe he’s grossed out.. Does he not like me in the first place? Will he even see my letter?? I can’t take this suspense..
I turn around and pick up Karl, anxiously stroking his fur, my breath quickening. I’m terrified. I whisper my unintelligible thoughts to myself and maybe Karl, before the doorbell rings. My head whips to the door, and I sprint to it, opening it wide.
There it was. A letter addressed to my home, from the Agency. He even drew smiley faces on it.. I pick it up from the porch and slam the door behind me, immediately carrying the letter to my desk. I gently and anxiously open the letter and pull out the paper covered in messy and childish handwriting.
“Hi Edddd,
Of course I wanna go on a walk with you!!! If you promise to bring my favorite snacks!! And you’ll tell me about ur novel n stuff, ok?? When are you free? I don’t have any jobs soon, so just lmk when :33
From,
Ranpo“
I sat in shock. He actually accepted my offer? I wanted to jump in my seat and cheer, but I was too excited to even do that. I scrambled to get a paper and tell him when I’m available. I didn’t even care how messy my writing was anymore, I only wanted to see him again. His cute face, stuffed with all kinds of terribly unhealthy snacks; chips, lollipops, hard candy, etcetera etcetera. Wait- did i say cute? Nevermind that…I must write. I rush to find the pen and I messily begin to write.
“Dearest Ranpo,
Thank you for accepting my offer. I’m free whenever you are, my dear.
Yours truly,
Edgar”
I didnt even bother to sign my whole name…it’s not like he called me “Allan” or “Poe” anyways. It was always “Ed” or “Eddie.” I could go by something completely different and he wouldn’t budge from those nicknames.
I read over the two sentences I wrote, and I realized something. “My dear”? I really wrote that. “My dear.” My mind raced. Should i send it like that? Would he even bother to notice..? I decide I’ll leave it that way. perhaps it would hint more at my..odd feelings. I address the letter to the Agency and send it away, only for me to wait anxiously yet again.
I pace up and down the floors of my mansion, barely being able to sleep, before the doorbell rings again. I nearly tumble down the steps trying to get to the door. I open the door and snatch the letter off of the ground, slamming the door and taking the letter to my desk. I open it as slowly as before, pulling out a paper with Ranpos unusually familiar handwriting.
“Hi again Eddieeee,
how about wensday at 12pm? bring candyyy :33
from,
Ranpo”
I couldn’t help but laugh. He had spelled “Wednesday” as “wensday.” How cute. I pulled out a sheet of paper to respond, also correcting his spelling, since his grammar was a lost cause.
“Dearest Ranpo,
That works for me, thank you. Also, it’s “Wednesday,” not “wensday.” I look forward to it, and yes, I shall bring candy.
Yours truly,
Edgar”
I sent off the letter just like the others, and soon, after days of anxious waiting, I sat on a bench outside of the candy shop, holding a bag of sweets I had just bought from that shop. I waited there for Ranpo.
Suddenly, “BOO!!” I jumped out of my seat as Ranpo placed his hands onto my shoulders and yelled into my ear.
“R-Ranpo-!” I spoke nervously and in a surprised manner, my cheeks flushed from the surprise.
“ED!!” He screamed, hugging me tighter than expected, constricting me like a snake.
I choked, “R-Ranpo- c-cant breathe-“ He quickly let go and saw the bag in my hand.
“is that candy???” He exclaimed, jumping like an excited child. I nodded slowly, handing the bag to him. it had all sorts of treats in it, all Ranpos favorites. He snatched the bag and rummaged through it, pulling out a fresh lollipop and eating it. He shoved the rest into my messenger bag, which was slung over my shoulder. I wore a sweater and a pair of nice pants and platform loafers. I also gave myself several accessories. I notice Ranpo was wearing a sweater vest and a dress shirt, with some shorts.
“Your hair looks nice today, Ranpo, did you wash it?” I blurted. how embarrassing. who asks someone if they washed their hair..??
Ranpo turned his head towards me and spoke with a childish smile. “Thanks Eddie, I did,” he stated.
I nodded. We spent the rest of the day exploring the town, and when the sun was about to set, we found a nice spot on the top of a hill to watch it, while eating our sweets. I was enjoying the sunset while eating a piece of chocolate, when suddenly, I felt the warm mass that was Ranpos head lean onto my shoulder. I felt as if I couldn’t move. What if I mess up and he sits up? What if he thinks it’s awkward..? I nervously wipe my sweaty hands in the grass, before wrapping an arm around Ranpo and pulling him closer.
“Thank you for taking me here, Ed,” He thanked me. Had i really been appreciated by the Ranpo Edogawa? I’m so proud of myself. I felt a great pride when he said that to me.
“Of course, my dear,” I said. No response. Did I say something wrong? What did i do..? I decided to leave it be, until Ranpo finishes thinking. My mind raced like horses.
“I think I like you, Eddie, like- a lot,” He admitted. I looked to him, dumbfounded.
“I-i think I like you too,” I said, my words felt so out of place.
Had I really fallen in love with this childish excuse for a man..?