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Zhongli can’t remember exactly when he fell in love for the first time. But he could remember when he realised he was in love.
It was near the end of the archon war, in a field of glaze lilies. She smiled sadly at him, uttering her last words through choked breaths and telling him all that was important to her he remember, her smile never faltering, not even as she closed her eyes for the last time.
He watched her suddenly dead form crumble into dust and he could feel a part of him go with her. He was never too good at human emotions and couldn't quite place the name of what he was feeling but he had no time to dwell on that. He had a war to finish.
Time was running at its usual pace again as he stood up with a grim face and fought with all he had left in him.
***
It was after a few years when he finally realised, the people of Liyue Harbor were finally settling down after being moved from their last home. Houses were being built and the people were still familiar with him as he was often found helping them settle into their new life.
He was sitting near the sea, watching the waves pass by, remembering how he sealed Osial in the end of the war.
And suddenly memories were flooding in. He could recall oh so clearly the day in which he fought with his friend Guizhong in the plains, protecting their people. He remembered how the lilies were open and glowing under the night sky and the form of his dead friend disappearing.
The pain he felt that day had never really left him but he learned to ignore it, now it was resurfacing and flooding him the same way Guili plains were flooded after Guizhong’s death.
He spent enough time near the humans to understand his own emotions more clearly.
He felt grief over the loss of his dear friend. But he lost many friends in that war, losing all of them was hard but not as hard as it was to lose her. His dear friend Guizhong whom he loved so dearly. But, maybe he did love her more than just a friend…
He shook his head from the thoughts. There was still much more work to be done and he could dwell on past relationships. Zhongli shoved the new revelation into the back of his mind and got up, leaving the view of the sea.
Unbenounced to him he was close enough to the sea that his old rival could feel the traces of what he felt in those minutes he sat there. And suddenly the overlord of the vortex wasn’t as bitter anymore. He felt satisfaction over knowing how much Morax lost. But it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.
***
Osial was close enough to the harbor to feel traces of what its people felt when they got close to the sea. He could feel Morax’s presence in that dreaded city almost at all times, his power spiking at what he assumed was once a year. Time passed differently in his eternal cage in the depths of the sea he once ruled.
As time passed by he was getting more and more bored, his idleness causing a perpetual sense of tiredness to fall over him. He was relieved he didn't have to catch all the idle chatter and random emotions he got from the people of the harbor.
The next time the former overlord of the vortex awoke from his slumber was to feel the overwhelming presence of geo energy in the waters near his seal.
“Morax”
His voice boomed, deep and threatening in the large cave-like place.
He could feel the presence shift as it passed the barrier where the seal was and as it entered his domain he could see the small human looking person that walked in.
He looked exactly the same as he always did, sparking annoyance and suppressed rage with his presence.
“What have you come here for?”
The other just slumped against the wall and let himself be dragged down to the cold, damp floor by gravity.
“You’ve gotten weak. I can feel your power fading as the years pass by. If it's power you’ve come to seek, you've come to the wrong place.”
He let his aura become menacing and to his surprise could see the archon shivering at the change. Something’s changed with him.
Zhongli felt the shift and let out a shiver wrack through him. He didn't know why he thought his old rival could help. He clearly still hated him.
He felt wrecked and sad over losing another close friend. He hated having to seal Azhdaha too but he was presenting as a threat to the people and he couldn’t have that. He thought maybe if Osial wasn’t having a too tough time in here then it would help ease his guilt but the other deity was clearly uninterested in conversation.
They were both quiet for a while, though Zhongli could feel Osial’s menacing expectant gaze watching his every shift. He let out a sigh as he got up and left, not caring much about what Osial thought of the whole thing.
It didn't quite matter as he came back only a few days later. Anxiety and guilt wracking through him. Osial didn’t say anything as he stepped into his domain, but he let out a little huff as Zhongli sat closer to him this time.
The god of demons let out another huff before he spoke “allow me.”
Zhongli wasn’t sure what to make of it but he guessed that with his guard down Osial could feel what he felt. He didn't know exactly how much the other knew but it didn't matter.
He shifted closer and let Osial’s watery form engulf him and do as he pleased.
It didn’t last very long but Zhongli was thankful for the reprieve that the act had brought him from his loud thoughts.
He came back again and again, compelled by the promise of some peace of mind. He didn’t mind the fact that he was giving Osial a major power trip or the sour limbs or not being able to walk right some of the days after.
He stopped coming back when he realised his power was fading faster and not only with the lack of use. Osial was using him. He wasn’t too mad or disappointed, it was to be expected, after all, he used him too in those encounters. But he couldn’t afford the loss of his powers for the peace it brought him.
Zhongli resigned to never come back and deal with his emotions in a healthy way. And if the waters were too dangerous to set sail for the next few weeks then Zhongli didn’t pay it any mind.
***
The next time the god of contracts felt anything akin to love was when he was with the fiery ginger that had come to the harbor.
Zhongli wasn’t dumb, he recognized the dangerous spark that appeared in Childe’s eyes when he looked at him. And he knew what was coming when he heard of Barbatos losing his gnosis. But the red haired young man brought him joy. He loved sparring with him on the other’s off days, loved discussing this and that on the occasional outing, he loved being introduced to new foods as the other took him someplace else every day.
It really shouldn't have come as a surprise when he realizes he was in love again. It really shouldn't have, yet, it did. What didn’t come as a surprise was when he struck a contract that ended with the loss of his own gnosis.
Another thing that didn’t come as a surprise was when Childe came to apologise and treated him to a nice meal or his reaction when he said he forgave him.
What did come as a surprise though was when a few months later Childe came to his office, a thing he rarely ever did. Zhongli stood up in alarm, when Childe came into his office it was always an emergency. He sat back down again at the nervous look the other had, an unusual emotion to see on his friend.
They sat in silence for a few moments before “Zhongli?”
“Yes Ajax?” his tone was calm but inside he was full of anticipation, for what though, he didn’t know. His gut knew what was coming before he did apparently.
Childe looked at the ground, trying to hide his suddenly reddened face, mumbling something that Zhongli couldn’t quite catch. “Uhm… i'm afraid i didn't quite catch that”
“Ilikeyou” there was a pause where no one said anything and Zhongli could feel his face reddening too because he really never thought this could ever happen.
“A-and i know you’re probably still mad about the whole gnosis thing even though u were really nice about it and i just-”
“Ajax”
The redhead stopped talking, looking up at him nervously.
Zhongli took a step forward.
Childe took a step back.
He gave him an incredulous look, the redhead blushing under his expectant gaze.
“Come here”
The fondness in his tone was lost on his beloved as his walk toward him was a trembling one. The trembles only stopped as a freckled cheek was cupped and a lower lip traced with a thumb. His eyes opened wide and Zhongli chuckled as he leaned down to kiss him.
It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise when a week later Childe has decided he was moving in with Zhongli, claiming that he loved him more than anything and wanted to be together forever.
It really shouldn’t have.
But, it did.