Chapter Text
"Oh come ooonnnnn. A pub crawl is the best way to celebrate anything! Unless you would rather make visiting the brothels a group activity, though I see no reason why we can’t do both. Might even be better if we’re drunk. Less inhibitions.”
Percy lets his head drop into his hand with a dramatic sigh as Vex speaks over his shoulder.
“Scanlan, wouldn’t it make more sense to celebrate our new keep in the new keep?”
“It has been months since some of us have seen each other, maybe a night in as a group would be good?” Pike suggests hesitantly.
“Pike! Not you too! Grog, Keyleth – back me up here!”
“Well,” Keyleth began nervously petting her hair, “Pub crawls are a fun group activity too… and it’s been six months since some of us have been in Emon…maybe refamiliarizing ourselves with the city would be good…”
“But this is supposed to be about celebrating Greyskull Keep, not our reunion,” Tiberius interjected.
“It can be both. We’ll just get a little tipsy during the crawl and then save the real shitfaced stuff for when we get back.” Scanlan argued, “What better way to break the place in? Come on, it’s a win-win scenario!”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” Vax shrugged. “Grog?”
“Wot? Are we drinking or not?”
“Has anyone here actually purchased alcohol stores for the keep yet?” Percy asked.
The following silence made the decision for them.
Percy took some time to observe his companions as they talked and bickered and made their way through the streets of Emon. He had been back in Emon for a while, constructing Bad News, but the city seemed a little livelier with the whole group back together. It surprised him a little how much he had missed them.
Pike had obviously changed. Her skin was more weathered and darkened with a tan, her muscles more pronounced and her post-death-white hair hung longer in its braid. But she walked and joked with more confidence, her time at sea clearly having done her some good. Percy had spoken to her briefly before she left, some advice from his own brief time on a ship, and he hadn’t liked the lost look in her eyes then. He was glad to see it had disappeared.
The changes in the twins were more subtle. When they had first met, the twins had been guarded, sticking close to one another and the bear, untrusting of others and only using touch and conversations as a manipulation tactic. Now, there were signs –prolonged touches, shrinking personal spaces, the fact that aside from Percy and Scanlan, they were the first to return- and that told Percy that the twins, much like himself, had grown unused to solitude after joining the SHITs (now Vox Machina, thank the gods) and had missed the group. Vex was currently arm in arm with the two other women chatting away. Vax, Percy saw, was occasionally sweeping his foot playfully out at Grog, trying to trip the goliath off his feet.
Scanlan, he suspected, was much the same way, not that he would ever admit as such. Percy knew he had been in Emon for a while, performing small gigs at local taverns for coin. He suspected the gnome had been just as eager to reunite as he had been.
Keyleth had been the last Percy had said goodbye to all those months ago. She had been nervous about her trials with the Earth Ashari, though clearly things had gone well. She was still as bubbly and cheerful as ever, but Percy could see the leadership skills slowly taking root behind the nervous façade.
Grog and Tiberius…well, Grog and Tiberius were the same.
“Something on your mind there, Freddie?” Vax asked, slinging an arm over his shoulders. “You’ve got your thinking face on.”
Percy shook his head.
“Nothing, just… it’s nice to see all of you.”
Vax’s eyes softened as he tightened his grip. Keyleth snuck up and took his arm on the other side and Percy turned to meet the soft smiles of the three women in the group. The rest of the walk was done in a comfortable, companionable silence.
It was the fourth tavern of the evening. Percy had been drinking sparingly in order to haul Keyleth - who had been drunk since the first - around the city, but at this point the buzz was setting in. Even Pike’s strong constitution was starting to waver after having drunk both Scanlan and Grog under the table.
Vex’halia flirted her way into a table for all of them, as the place was becoming more packed as the sun set. Vax helped Percy lower Keyleth into a seat before heading off to grab drinks. Scanlan had already asked Grog to hoist him and his chair onto the table and was twirling around on it and playing a song on the flute while Pike and Tiberius clapped along with inconsistent rhythm.
The first round passed as peacefully as could be expected of Vox Machina. Scanlan had switched out his flute for a lute and he and Pike were loudly duetting a dirty sea shanty. Grog wanted to arm wrestle Keyleth in her new earth elemental form and Vex was sternly arguing against it, most likely having mentally calculated the potential resulting damage costs. Vax just sat back with his feet on the table, listening with an amused expression as Tiberius sat in the corner reading.
“Let’s just have another drink then, Grog. Barmaid? BARMAID? Where’s the fuckin’ barmaid?” Vex slurred.
So much for saving shitfaced for the keep, Percy thought, amused. “I’ll go get the drinks, Vex.”
“Thank you, darling,” She smiled.
“Another ale for me, Freddie. And everyone else I assume?”
A chorus of the affirmative arose from the table, some more coherent than others, and Percy grinned as he made his way to the bar. The alcohol was starting to make him sappy, enhancing his affection for his friends. Family. Fuck, I’m drunk.
He noticed what the barmaid had been preoccupied with as he passed a table of rough-looking mercenaries on his way back, arms full of ale tankards and a single wine glass. There were four figures sitting around the table, clearly drunk. The one on the edge, a brown-haired human man, was leaned back in his chair, absentmindedly flipping a knife in his hand while the two on the side next to him, a male dwarf and a female gnome, waved their tankards around and made rude gestures. The fourth, a halfling at the opposite end of the brown-haired man, seemed on the verge of unconsciousness, barely sober enough to keep their eyes open. All four were laughing uproariously at another red-haired human man who stood with his arm around the barmaid, slurring terrible flirtations. When he noticed the man move to kiss her, Percy immediately moved to her aid but just as he did the woman jammed her elbow into the man’s solar plexus before slamming her foot on his toes and her fist into his nose and - Ah. Ouch. The laughter picked up as the man dropped face-first onto the table and the barmaid walked away, disgusted.
“HAHA she fucked your shit UP, Z,” the gnome howled.
“You call that flirting? Honestly, I think she might’ve done you a favor there,” The dwarf laughed, “that punch knocked some of the ugly out of your face. Straightened your nose up.”
So distracted by what he just witnessed, the usually observant and agile Percy didn’t notice that when he had taken the step over to help the barmaid, he had put himself right in line with the knife the corner man was now waving carelessly about as he laughed. He didn’t notice, that is, until he walked by and felt the sting as it sunk into his body just above his left hipbone.
Percy gasped and the tankards tumbled from his arms, clanking to the floor, spilling alcohol over both of them.
Well. This doesn’t happen every day.
The man sputtered. “What the – What the fuck?” As he jerked, the knife slipped free of the other man’s body, and he stopped to notice sticky red substance now decorating the blade.
“Hey! Watch where you’re goin’, you got my knife dirty.”
Percy was unfortunately very accustomed to focusing through pain, so he did a quick scan around the tavern and confirmed his fear that the noise was gathering stares, including some from his friends.
Shit, he thought, I need to resolve this before -
“Hey, Percy. What’s goin' on here?”
Before that.
Grog had made his way over to the table. The man with the knife stood to face the goliath.
“Your friend needs ta watch where ‘e’s walkin’ is what’s goin’ on.”
“Hmm.” Grog easily towered over the man to look at Percy behind him. “You okay, Percy?”
“Fine, Grog,’” Percy grunted through clenched teeth, “Go back to the table.”
“You sure? ‘Cuz you’re looking a little like Keyleth does right before she blows chunks. All pale and sweaty and stuff. Do you need another drink?” Grog paused when he noticed Percy’s empty arms and the tankards all over the floor. “Wait… what happened to the drinks?”
“Your stupid friend ‘ere spilled 'em all over me!” The dark-haired human in the middle reinserted himself into the conversation.
Grog let out a high-pitched gasp. “YOU SPILLED MY ALE?” and the man went flying across the table and into his friends as Grog backhanded him.
Fuck.
“Here we go again!” Vax yelled cheerfully as he slinked up behind the red-haired human who had rounded on Grog and stuck a dagger into his arm. The man screamed and chaos broke out as the dwarf and gnome both shot up and drew their weapons as the rest of Vox Machina stumbled their way over in varying states of sobriety.
Vex shot an arrow at the dwarf, who swung out of the way. The arrow instead imbedded itself into the tavern wall an inch away from another patron who was running for the door.
“Oops,” she burped. “Sorry.”
Tiberius began to mutter an incantation but was interrupted as the gnome launched herself at him, knocking him down and choking him with her whip. Keyleth swung her staff, hitting Tiberius in the face twice before finally finding her mark on the back of the gnomes head.
“Sorry, Sorry. Oh, I got her! I go-“ Keyleth started, before vomiting all over the three of them.
“Gods, I missed this,” Pike grinned, dodging the dwarf’s ax before ramming her mace into his kneecap, resulting in an audible cracking sound over the dwarf’s howl.
“It is nice to be back,” Vax laughed, throwing a dagger at the now vomit-covered gnome as she began to get up.
Percy grimaced and braced one hand against his wound as he drew his gun and shot the shoulder of the red-haired human who had been advancing on Vex, taking a good chunk of flesh with the shot and resulting in another scream. Vex spared him a wink before loosing another arrow at the brown-haired man as he crawled up from behind the table.
The arrow lodged in his shoulder, and he grunted before taking in the state of his crew with wide eyes.
“Let’s get outta ‘ere, fellas.” He shouted, scrambling for the door, only to be knocked unconscious instantly by Grog’s giant fist in the side of his head.
The noise died down to pained groans from the dwarf, gnome, and red-haired man splayed out on the floor, none moving to get up anytime soon.
‘This one fell over on their own,” Scanlan said cheerfully, giving a light kick to the passed out halfling at his feet.
“What started it this time, big guy?” Vax asked, stretching his shoulders.
“This guy,” Grog grabbed the unconscious brown-haired man from the floor and shook him at Vax. “He made Percy spill the ale.”
“Percy?” Vax turned, glancing him over. “Are you alright?”
“Darling?” Vex wandered over, laying a hand on Percy’s forehead and smoothing back his hair. “You look pale. Did you take a hit?”
“Don’t worry, Percy, I got you!” Pike yelped, stumbling over. She noticed his hands pressed tightly to his side underneath his coat and smiled sweetly at him before gently moving his hands away and pressing her own down. He let out a sigh as the healing magic flowed through, the only sign of the wound being a small hole in his vest and another bloodstained shirt.
“Thanks, Pike.” he sighed, smiling down at her. Someone cleared their throat loudly behind them.
“Very sweet, but I would like to know who’s paying for all the damage you just caused to my tavern,” The barmaid from early stood leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and eyebrows furrowed.
“Well…” Vex started.
“Here.” Vax compromised, taking a bag of gold from the prostrate gnome’s belt with minimal protests and threw it at the barmaid. She caught it with one hand, grimacing at the damp, vomit-soaked material. “They started the fight, seems fair they pay for it, right?”
The woman raised her eyebrow and looked them all over, her eyes pausing on Percy before locking on to the red-haired man who had been harassing her earlier.
“Alright. We’ll call it even. But only if I never see you in this tavern again.”
“Fair enough,” Scanlan shrugged, and the eight of them trudged back out onto the streets, leaving the groaning mercenaries to decorate the floor.
“It’s nice to know some things never change,” Scanlan sighed as they walked. “What actually started it though, fancypants? Did you insult his hygiene? His bad haircut? Poke him in the eye when you stuck your posh little pinky out?
“Not exactly,” Percy grunted, again shouldering the weight of a drooping Keyleth.
“Then what? You just walked into his knife?”
Silence.
“You didn’t?!” Vax gasped, delighted.
“No. I didn’t.” Percy lied. “The other man was attempting to harass the barkeeper. I just…got in the way.”
“Yeah, well” Scanlan grunted, “She seemed more than capable of handling herself, not that she should have to. Honestly, some people have no sense of what real mastery of the art of love looks like-“
“And you do?” Vex snorts.
“-And with style like that, they had no chance to begin with. Speaking of the fairer sex, though, Grog? Feeling up for some fun?”
“No more pub crawl then?” Tiberius asked.
Pike noticed Percy’s wince and patted him on the thigh. “Not your fault, Percy. I’m surprised we made it this far.”
“Yeah, darling.” Vex said, slipping under Keyleth’s arm opposite of him, “We’re just glad you’re okay.” She frowned. “Brother, did you grab any of the other purses?”
Vax appeared on Percy’s other side, dangling three small bags from his left hand.
“You know I did, sister.”
“I thought we were going to hang out together at home?” Keyleth slurred as she stumbled between Vex and Percy.
Home.
The word seemed to resonate between everyone, binding them together with its implications. Glances were shared and Scanlan just shrugged and began to lead the way back to Greyskull Keep.
“Yes, Keyleth,” Percy whispered, “We’re going home.”