Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Regulus stared straight ahead at the road as he turned the corner into the hospital and found a parking space.

He and Remus were still sitting in total silence once they were parked. Eventually, Regulus gathered the courage to stand up and get out of the car, then helping Remus, who was shaking like a leaf.

Regulus unfocused his eyes as he walked into the hospital and up to the front desk. “We’re here for Sirius Black,” he said and the receptionist pursed her lips.

“Names and connections to Mr Black,” she said briskly.

“Regulus Black, his brother. And this is Remus Lupin, his boyfriend.”

The receptionist typed something out on her computer and gestured to the waiting area. “Please take a seat.”

Remus looked haunted as he made his way over to a seat and sat down, swallowing thickly. His phone rang- A Bowie ringtone, no wonder Sirius liked him- and, with shaking hands, he accepted the call.

“Lils,” he said, relief pouring out of his voice. “Sirius- He’s-” Lily must have started to speak because Remus’ mouth fell shut as he listened to whatever she was saying. “O-Okay,” his voice was quiet, like a small child. “I- I’m scared, Lil.”

Regulus, feeling that this conversation wasn't his to overhear, unlocked his own phone and shot off a message to Pandora. She, Evan and Barty were the only people who knew that Sirius was his brother, and he’d begged them not to mention anything whenever he came up in conversation. Panda would know what he should do next.

Panda

Code S

Pandora replied within seconds.

Where are you

Hospital

He was in an accident

I drove Remus here

And accidentally told him about my connection to his boyfriend

He didn’t know?

Apparently not

Hm

Is Sirius okay

No clue

Don’t let Remus check the news

There’s coverage of an accident in your area, motorcyclist was hit by a car running a red, might be Sirius

Regulus gulped. If it was on the news… It could be bad.

Do they say anything about the cyclist’s health

Just that he’s going to hospital

The coverage was mostly for the closed roads

The same car caused a bit of a pile up a few roads down, drunk driver

Idiot

Doctors telling you anything?

Nope

Andromeda’s been called by the receptionist

She was the one who called Remus

He was at the bookshop when he got the call

Keeping my fingers crossed for you

Thanks Panda

Regulus clicked the screen off and leant back in his seat. Remus was talking to someone on the phone in low Welsh when the door to the waiting room opened and a face so familiar appeared.

Andromeda’s mouth fell open when she saw Regulus, sitting in one of the hard plastic chairs. He was surprised that she recognised him at first. She’d been disowned when he was only ten, he hadn’t seen her since then. She might have seen pictures of him from Sirius, but no recent ones. She would have expected to be the perfect golden daughter of the Black family, not what he was, one of two disgraced and disowned sons.

“Oh,” she said, opening her arms for him. “You got out.”

Regulus stood up and, before he knew what he was doing, was in Andy’s arms, his head resting on her shoulder.

“What’s your name?” She asked softly, pulling away so she could look him in the eyes. Regulus could see now that she was crying, though whether it was because of him or Sirius, he had no idea.

“Regulus,” he told her, “And he/him.”

“Regulus,” she turned the name over in her mouth. “Suits you.”

“Sirius helped me pick it,” he admitted quietly. “I wanted a matching one.”

Andromeda smiled, before looking over at Remus, who had hung up on his phone call and was watching the exchange. “Remus,” Andy said, walking over and giving him a hug as well. “I wish we were meeting under better circumstances, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You too,” Remus said, still sounding slightly- no, very - scared. “Is he- How is he?”

Andromeda sighed, looking over her shoulder at the door she’d just come through. “They won’t tell me much. He’s alive, they don’t think he’s going to die. That’s it. I think it’s a confidentiality thing, but they didn’t look particularly worried, so I’d say he’s probably fine.”

Remus tugged at the collar of his jumper, looking very uncomfortable, before squeezing his eyes shut, his face contorted in pain. “Remus?” Andromeda asked, suddenly terrified, but Regulus waved her off.

“Phantom pain. It comes in waves, lasts a few seconds. It’ll be gone in a minute.”

Andromeda nodded, watching Remus nervously, until he gasped in relief and opened his eyes, blinking a couple times to adjust to the bright hospital lights. His breathing was slightly ragged, he sat back down, looking around anxiously. “I hate hospitals,” he muttered under his breath and Regulus could understand why. He only knew bits and pieces about Remus’ injury, from passing comments. A car accident when he was young was the gist of it, and Regulus could imagine he’d been in and out of hospitals his whole childhood, or at least doctor’s offices. This place probably brought back some less than pleasant memories.

Regulus’ phone pinged and Pandora’s name popped up on the screen.

It was Sirius, they just confirmed

Regulus exhaled sharply and sent her off a quick reply.

All we know is it’s not fatal

Also just came out to Andromeda

She was cool, obviously

Pandora replied with a smiley face and a thumbs up, her usual combination. Regulus fought the temptation to click on the news notification that popped up, titled ‘ YouTuber and member of band The Marauders Sirius Black hospitalised after being hit by a drunk driver’

“Give me your phone Remus,” he said firmly. Remus frowned but handed it over, probably not thinking straight thanks to the shock and Regulus put it in his pocket along with his own phone. Remus’ leg began to bounce impatiently as he closed his eyes- a trick Regulus had used many times to stop the tears from being able to leak.

Regulus swallowed uncomfortably and looked over at Andromeda, hoping to say something to take all their minds off of Sirius, Regulus’ antisocial streak disappearing into the backmost corner of his mind. “Is your daughter at home with Ted? Nymphadora was it?”

Andromeda smiled. “Yeah, she’s with Ted. Oh, and don’t call her that. She gets all her friends to call her Tonks and we all have to call her Dora.”

“Dora, got it,” Regulus said, suddenly grateful that Pandora preferred ‘Panda’. That could have gotten very confusing very quickly.

Regulus’ pocket began to vibrate and he pulled the phones out, seeing James written on Remus’ phone, above the accept and decline buttons. “James is calling you,” he told Remus, after swiping away the BBC News notification of the car crash.

Remus swallowed thickly and held out his hand, taking the phone. "Thanks," he said quietly, before clearing his throat and accepting the call. "James." His voice was suddenly solid, no longer shaky like it had been mere moments before.

"I-I'm about to board," James' voice came muffled from the other side of the line. It was clear he'd been crying, his voice was trembling. "Turns out a friend of my family had an earlier flight. She switched with me." There was a shaky sigh on the other side of the line. "Any news?"

"I'm here but I don't know anything," Remus said. Regulus noted that somehow Remus had managed to control the tremors in his voice. He'd gone from obviously upset to completely steady and comforting. "Listen, I'll try and talk to a doctor to get some news before you take off okay?"

"O-okay," James said and Remus stood up, walking over to the receptionist.

"Can I talk to a doctor about Sirius Black please?"

"I'm afraid I cannot-"

Regulus narrowed his eyes at her. “Sirius’ brother is about to get on a ten hour flight with no news. If you have even a shred of human decency, I suggest you at least let us tell him that his brother is not going to fucking die before he gets back to England!”

"Mr Black, your brother's flight-"

"Sirius' brother," Regulus corrected swiftly. "Not mine."

The receptionist pursed her lips. "I'll see what I can do."

It was less than three minutes later when a doctor came through. "Mr Lupin, you requested to speak to me?"

"Not me," Remus said, handing her the phone. "This is James. He's about to get on a ten hour flight from India and Sirius is basically his brother, they've been friends since they were eleven, living together since sixteen. It's them against the world. Tell him if Sirius is going to be okay."

The doctor nodded and took the phone. "Hello, James? My name's Dr Abrahams, I'm looking after Sirius. I can tell you now, he's going to be okay."

It was clear that all four of them- James, Andromeda, Remus and Regulus- breathed a sigh of relief at that.

"He's currently unconscious but he'll wake up soon. He’s been very lucky. A few minor injuries. Heavy bruising, many cuts and scrapes but no major tissue or bone issues. He’ll be very sore for a couple of weeks, but there won’t be any lasting damage. Thankfully no brain injuries that we can see, his helmet was obviously top quality."

James laughed wetly. "I chose that one. I made sure it was the best quality. Fucking expensive it was. I'll need to get a new one ordered, just to keep it extra safe." He was talking to himself now, an annoying habit Sirius had as well. "Oh, sorry Doctor."

"It's quite alright," Dr Abrahams said, not sounding fussed at all. Regulus imagined she dealt with all sorts of family members all the time, James was probably no exception. "I believe you have a flight?"

"Oh, yes," James' voice was no longer shaky, but it's usual, almost painfully cheery manner. "I probably should go. Can I speak to Remus please?"

"Of course," the doctor said and handed the phone back to Remus, who held it up to his ear.

"Are you okay?" James asked. "I know hospitals aren't… Exactly your favourite place."

Remus laughed humorlessly. "That's one way of putting it."

"He's okay Remus," James said and Remus gave a sort of half grimace, half smile.

"Yeah," he said. "He's okay. I'll see you when you land."

"See you."

Remus put his phone in his pocket and the doctor smiled at him. “He can have someone go sit with him, he’s the third door on the left, just through there,” she said, pointing to the door she’d just walked through. “Just one, mind you. He’ll wake up soon, I’m sure he’d like someone with him.” She nodded, smiling. “And when he does wake up, call me, I’d like to do an examination to be completely certain he has no injuries our scans haven’t picked up. Any further questions, feel free to come find me.”

“Do you know if he’ll be staying overnight?” Remus asked.

“It’s unlikely,” she told him. “We’ll want someone to keep an eye on him for the next week or so, but he should be fine to go home unless we discover something new when he wakes up.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Regulus said and she nodded, smiling and walking away.

“Remus, you go,” Andromeda said. Remus frowned.

“You guys are his family. One of you should go.”

“I think Regulus and I have some… Catching up to do,” she looked over at him and he nodded. “Go.”

Remus’ face crumpled, the facade he’d put on for James instantly dropping. “ Thank you.”

“Of course,” Andy said as Remus stood up and hurried through the doors. Once he was gone, Andromeda turned to Regulus. “I say we take a walk to the canteen, how does that sound?”

“Good,” Regulus said, unsure of what else to do. They’d just found their way to the canteen when Regulus’ stomach rumbled. He checked the time on his phone and cursed when he saw it was almost two pm.

“Fuck I’m starving,” he muttered, buying a bag of salt and vinegar Walkers’ packedged cucumber and egg mayo sandwich (packedged sandwiches were rank but he was hungry enough not to care.)

Andromeda got a pasta pot and two bags of pickled onion monster munch, which she stored away in her bag. “For Dora and Ted,” she explained, catching Regulus’ questioning look.

“So,” Andy sat down at a table and Regulus sat opposite her. “Tell me about yourself, Regulus.”

Usually, Regulus hated that question. Usually, he’d have no clue what to say and give the usual, awkward name and age spiel. But he didn’t mind it with Andy. It was pretty easy to tell her how his life had changed since he last saw her. Practise, almost. For when he inevitably had to do the same with Sirius.

Sirius was asleep when Remus arrived. He sat down in the chair by his bed and listened to his steady breathing. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, opening WhatsApp, clicking first on Peter’s name. His flight would have taken off by now but it would be good for him to be able to see that Sirius would be okay the moment he landed.

Peter

He’s gonna be okay

No major injuries, James’ mother henning over helmets and correct biking gear did him a favour

Hope your flight was okay :)

Then, he messaged Lily and his mum the exact same message, just one in English and one in Welsh.

He’s okay, no major injuries, asleep right now but will wake up soon. I’m with him.

Then, an additional message to Lily.

You can stop worrying about me now

He put his phone back in his pocket and moved to take his leg off, now he would be sitting for a while with no real reason to get up. He took Sirius’ hand in his and watched his chest rise up and down. There were thin red scratches scatteredon his face and hands, grazes running along his arms and likely his chest and legs, but Remus couldn’t see those.

“You’re a prat,” he said quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sirius stayed still and Remus gave a small laugh- more of an exhale than anything else. “God I love you Sirius Black,” he said. It was easier to say when Sirius couldn’t hear him. Every time he got close when they were both awake, he froze.

When he was asleep though, it was easier. There was no fear of an awkward moment where Sirius didn’t feel the same way or wasn’t ready to say it back or anything. He could just say it.

Remus’ phone buzzed and, using the hand that wasn’t holding Sirius’, he fished it out of his pocket.

Lily

Sue me for caring

Seriously though I’m glad he’s okay

Love you rem

Love you lils

Want me to come by?

I can grab some of his stuff if you need?

Yes please

There’s a key in the hanging pot with the dead plant

Grab his phone and some actual clothes, his other stuff is kinda wrecked. His favourite’s the beige queen t-shirt, and get the nike black tracksuit bottoms with the hole in the top hem, he likes those. And his hairbrush (the wooden one with his name engraved on the handle cause he’s posh like that) and a few hairbands, I think there’s a pack on top of his bedside table

Dr reckons he’ll be out today so no need for overnight stuff

Oh and maybe a jumper, it’s quite cold. He keeps a hoodie on the back of his desk chair, get that one

Thanks lils you’re a lifesaver

Of course

See you soon xx

A message bubble came up and Remus automatically clicked on it, smiling when he saw the message.

James

Taking off now thanks for getting dr to talk to me

No problem

I’m with him now, he’s fine, should be going home today

Take him back to yours, you and lily will be there, safer

Yeah, they said we should keep an eye on him

Enjoy the flight

Thanks moony

Really

I promise it’s no trouble

If you want send him a message, Lily’s bringing his phone

Hope you don’t mind I told her where the spare key is

No problem

Also you’re welcome to knock on my door in the middle of the night if you wanna see him as soon as you get back, I won’t kill you

Ill see you in the middle of the night then

See you James

See you Remus

Thank you again

Of course

Remus slouched down in the chair, his eyes now planted firmly on Sirius. A million thoughts whirled through his head, but the one he kept coming back to was why didn’t you tell me?

Sirius would have known, at least from when Remus said Regulus’ name. Why didn’t he say anything?

You’re one to talk about not opening up, the mean part of his brain said. What about all the times you say that you’re fine?

“Shut up,” Remus muttered when his phone pinged again. Again! 

Poppy

Hi Remus, heard from your mum that your boyfriend’s in hospital. Are you okay?

Remus smiled down at the phone screen. Poppy was technically his prosthetist but he’d known her since he was eleven when they moved from Wales and switched to using the clinic for his legs.

She’d even paid for a couple of his legs when his mum couldn’t afford it and the clinic didn’t have enough donations to cover it. She’d sent him daily messages asking if he’d eaten during GCSE and A Level periods, put up a pride flag in the clinic window when Remus came out, listened to every one of Remus’ rants about homophobia or ableism or just whatever he was annoyed about. Poppy was as much family as his mum, or Lily and her parents (not her horrible sister, Remus hated Petunia with a burning passion) or his grandparents.

I’m fine, thanks Poppy

He’s gonna be fine, no major injuries

He should be able to go home today

Good

I’ll see you next week

See you

Remus was about to type out another message asking for advice on the whole… situation, when he heard a small groan to his left. He whipped his head around to see Sirius blinking up sleepily.

“Urgh, fuck,” he said, his voice thick with sleep and hoarse from the accident. “Moony?” He asked, his head lolling against the pillow to look at Remus. “That you?”

“You’re a prick,” Remus said, unable to actually feel angry.

“Oh, how lovely,” Sirius rubbed at his eyes and blinked harshly a few times. “Wake up in a bloody hospital and my boyfriend calls me a prick.”

“Sirius,” Remus didn’t quite know what to say now that Sirius was actually awake. He didn’t want to give him a heart attack by telling him that he knew about Regulus but he wasn’t sure his acting skills were refined enough to pretend like nothing was wrong.

“Why the long face?” Sirius asked innocently.

“Do you need me to explain?” Remus scowled at him when he nodded. “Okay, let’s see… You got hit by a car and knocked off your bike, after uploading the song you’ve been panicking about for months.”

Sirius at least had the decency to grimace. “Yeah, I guess.” He looked around, frowning. “Wait, wait, I got knocked off?”

“Drunk driver ran a red light and hit you,” Remus said, glad Sirius was finally taking this at least slightly seriously. “You are never allowed to complain about me and James fussing about you wearing the proper gear ever again, you are fine purely because James insisted on getting the best helmet.”

“Alright, I deserve that,” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand as he watched about a million emotions flicker over his boyfriend’s face.

Remus swallowed, tears stinging his eyes again. “I, um- I’m supposed to get the doctor-” he said, swallowing again, trying to dissipate the growing lump in his throat. “You’ll be okay while I’m gone?”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded and Remus put his leg on, then stood up. Just as he was about to walk out the door, Sirius called out: “Oh, and by the way; I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Lily was in the waiting room when Remus came out, ready to ask the receptionist to call Dr Abrahams.

“Lily,” Remus breathed and she set her carrier bag down on the seat and opened her arms. He ran into them immediately, burrowing his head in her shoulder. He’d put on an act for James, then again for Sirius. And now, finally, he could take it down.

“Hey,” Lily whispered into Remus’ hair. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She murmured reassurances until Remus finally pulled himself together, wiping his eyes and looking into her green ones.

“I need- I need to- Get doctor-”

“Is he okay?!” Lily’s voice was panicked and Remus suddenly felt awful for making her worry, realising how that sentence sounded out of context.

“Yeah,” Remus rubbed at his head, a headache blooming at his temples. “She just told me to get her when he woke up.”

“He’s awake then?”

Remus nodded and Lily smiled. “And he’s okay?”

“Made a few bloody jokes so yes, I’d say so,” Remus said, eliciting a snort from Lily. Footsteps behind him had Remus turning around and internally sighing in relief when he saw Dr Abrahams. “Oh, excuse me!” He called out after her. “Um, Sirius woke up.”

She smiled at him. “That’s good. Does everything seem okay?”

“Yeah,” Remus said, blinking a couple times to clear the fog in his head.

“Perfect, I’ll go check on him now, do you want to come?”

Remus shot a glance at Lily and she nodded, grabbing the bag with Sirius’ stuff and handing it to him. Thank you, he mouthed as he followed the doctor back into Sirius’ room.

Remus leant against the doorframe as Sirius was checked over, then the doctor walked past him, sending Remus a comforting smile as she left, and Remus threw the bag down to help Sirius sit up.

“I know I’ve only been awake like ten minutes but I’m really bored,” he said and Remus looked at him, giving him his best You were just hit by a car, act like it face.

“I got Lily to bring you some stuff,” Remus rummaged in the bag for the hairbrush and hair bands.

“How’d she get in?”

“Key in the plant pot,” Remus explained, taking his leg off and slipping into the bed behind Sirius so his boyfriend was now leaning on his chest. He pulled out a section of his black hair and began to brush through it. The waves were riddled with knots, which was to be expected, and there was ash and dirt caking his scalp. They’d need to wash it later, but for now brushing was good enough. It took a good half an hour to comb through all the knots, Sirius rambling about whatever came into his brain to take Remus’ mind off whatever he was thinking about. It was clear he was stressed by the way his muscles were all tensed up and he was distant unless Sirius asked him a question, which he’d then have to repeat because Remus wasn’t paying attention the first time.

Remus’ fingers began to part Sirius’ hair and form the beginnings of a french plait.

Once the plait had reached the nape of his neck and he was free to move without fucking up the entire thing, Sirius fished his phone out of the bag Remus had brought in and took a selfie, before uploading it to his Instagram story.

“Sirius,” Remus said, reading over his shoulder. “Tell me you did not just upload a story captioned ‘Sirius: 1, Motorbike: 0’.”

“It’s pretty good isn’t it?”

“Y’know, after an accident most content creators upload like a black screen with a white text box saying something like, ‘I’m okay, thank you for all the kind messages’,” Remus said, trying to sound stern but he was clearly holding back a smile.

Sirius hummed under his breath before taking another picture of him and Remus.

Boyfriends who plait your hair>>>

p.s. jokes aside, i’m okay, thanks for the messages guys, love you

“Happy now?” Sirius asked, showing him the story. Remus laughed under his breath and kissed the top of Sirius’ head.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me.”

“I really bloody do,” Remus sighed, leaning against the head of the bed.

Suddenly, Sirius had a thought. “Wait- James! And Pete! What about Andy, does she know?!”

“James and Pete are both on planes back to England right now and Andromeda is… Probably in the canteen, it’s almost three pm and none of us ate before coming here.”

Sirius’ heart sank. “I didn’t want their trips to be cut short-” he started, but Remus cut him off.

“Sirius, if you think your friends would choose a holiday over you, you are delusional.”

Sirius nodded, leaning back against Remus’ chest, closing his eyes for a moment. They sat like that for a few minutes while Remus began to draw circles on Sirius’ palm. “Want me to go get Andy?” He asked quietly and Sirius nodded. Remus shifted, swinging his legs (well, leg and a half) out of bed, pulled on his prosthetic and kissed Sirius lightly before leaving the room again.

Sirius checked his messages to see he had seventeen from James, eleven from Peter, three from Effie, two from Monty and an accumulated twenty-nine missed calls. He also had a load of unread messages from Remus, but Remus had shown him those earlier on his phone.

James

Sirius I saw the video

Are you okay?

Sirius answer me please

Youre worrying me

I’m really proud of you mate

Hope youre okay, call me when you get this

Hey mate

If you’re reading this, you’re awake so that’s awesome

You scared the living shit out of me sirius

I love you so much

Please try to never do that to me again or at least do it when I’m in the fucking country

I’ll only get back about midnight but you better bet I’ll be waking you up

I know I already said it but I love you so fucking much I can’t even explain it

Please never ever doubt that

Also you’re welcome for the fussing, my top quality helmet saved your life, doctor said so herself

Anyways the flight attendant just told me to put my phone away so I’ll see you when I’m back in England

I love you padfoot

Peter

Hey I saw the song

Really proud of you

Hope you’re okay

Padfoot you prick

I can’t believe you did that to us, scaring the shit out of everyone

Actually I can, it’s a very you thing to do

I can’t even be mad at you cause you’re in the fucking hospital

And the video

Well done you’ve been worried about that for ages and I know I’m not the only one who’s really proud of you for doing that

Hope you’re okay, I’m getting back at eight so I’ll probably see you around nine or ten

Also make sure James has a message from you when he gets off the plane, he’ll worry if he doesn’t hear from you

Effie

Sirius, I saw the video and I want you to know I’m really, really proud of you. I hope you’re okay, James told me you’ve been worried about this for a while. He also told me about Regulus and you need to tell Remus, sweetheart. You can’t hide this forever. If you ever need any help telling him we can help okay? I love you so much Sirius, please always remember that xxx

Andromeda just called me about the accident. I really hope you’re doing okay, James has managed to get a flight for today, just say the word and we’ll come back too. I love you so much sweetheart, I wish I was there. Stay strong for me, okay? Xxxxx

Heard you’re doing okay, I’m so glad. Remus is with you, you’re safe there. If you get a minute, call me, I’d love to hear from you. I love you xxxxx

Monty

I know Effie’s messaged you but I wanted to tell you I’m very proud of you for that video Sirius. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I’m very, very proud that you put that out there. I love you xxx

Stay strong for us Sirius. If you were anyone else I’d be really worried but I don’t need to worry about you because you are the strongest person I know. You can do this. We all love you so much xxx

Sirius smiled down at the screen as he read each text, though his stomach twisted at the reminder of the song and the secret he was keeping from Remus. He got to work on his replies, typing out and deleting drafts about a thousand times before pressing send.

James

Love you too mate

I know I need to tell remus, I swear I’m working on it

I look forward to you waking me up

I’m okay, feel fine, going home in a few hours

I love you prongs

Peter

I’m sorry wormy

Be mad at me all you want I know moony is

Seriously though, I’m okay, nothing seriously wrong except for the bruises

And yes I’ve sent prongs a text

See you later pete

Effie

I love you too, I promise I’ll try and tell Remus soon, I’m doing well, I’ll call you when I get back home, I’m being let out in a few hours xxxx

Monty

I love you too, I’m doing good and going home in a few hours. Thank you, love you again xxxx

Sirius leant back against the headboard, sighing in defeat. That’s it, he decided. When Remus gets back, I’m telling him.

Regulus’ heart lifted considerably when Remus came along telling them that Sirius was awake and asking for Andromeda.

“He’s functional then?” He asked Remus after he’d bought some lunch of his own.

“Yep,” Remus looked much less stressed now, the fog in his eyes had mostly cleared, now little more than a mist. “Regulus?”

“Hm?”

“Did you see the video Sirius posted?”

Regulus’ heart dropped back down into his shoes. “I see all of them,” he admitted, not quite meeting Remus’ eyes. “I guess he either didn’t know or didn’t tell you.”

“About you?” Remus’ face soured. “Oh, he knew all right. I’ve mentioned you by name plenty of times.”

Regulus wasn’t sure what to make of that. If Sirius knew, why wouldn’t he tell Remus? And that begged the question- if he didn’t tell his boyfriend, who did he tell? James? Peter? Euphemia or Fleamont? No-one?

Was Regulus really that much of a shameful secret?

“I should go-”

“No!” Remus reached out and grabbed Regulus’ arm as he started to walk away. “Please. I want- I want to know more, I guess. I know bits and pieces but you know how Sirius is, he doesn’t like talking about the hard bits.”

All he and Regulus had ever talked about were the hard bits, in those last few months. Exactly how much had Sirius changed since he ran away?

“There’s not really much to it,” Regulus decided on saying, instead of voicing every other thought running through his brain. “Our parents were shitty, they kind of fucked us up, now I’m in therapy. No idea about Sirius though.”

“Still looking for a good one,” Remus said. “Neither of us have had much luck.”

Regulus nodded, taking a sip of his tea. It was piping hot and burned the inside of his throat, but he swallowed it down. It wasn’t like pain was a foreign concept to him. “I should probably leave soon,” he said. “Sirius doesn’t know I’m here.”

Remus frowned. “I think you should reach out to him. I can give you his number if you want?”

Regulus drank some more of his tea to avoid answering. “No promises,” he said finally.

“Regulus-”

“But I’ll take it,” he continued and held out his phone on a new contact for Remus, who typed in a number. “Thank you.”

Remus nodded in response. “You don’t have to do anything,” he said. “But I think you want to.”

“Oh yeah?” Regulus snorted, a bitter taste rising in his throat. “How’d you figure that one?”

Shrugging, Remus stood up too. “He’s your brother.”

“That doesn’t mean shit, some people’s brothers are horrible.”

“But yours isn’t,” Remus insisted. “I know you two were close. Maybe you could be again.”

“You don’t know shit,” Regulus snapped. “You don’t know anything about me Remus. You don’t know anything about my life!”

“I never claimed to-”

“You just did!”

“Regulus-”

“I’ll think about it,” Regulus said shortly, turning on his heels and walking out of the canteen.

“Your brother was by earlier,” the doctor said, making small talk as she ran a few tests. “He’s already left though, did you get a chance to speak to him?”

Sirius shook his head. “That wouldn’t have been my brother, he’s on a plane right now.”

“Really? Short black hair, blue eyes, constellation tattoo on his neck? He looked quite a lot like you. He introduced himself as your brother to our receptionist?”

Sirius frowned. It can’t be… Could it? “Maybe,” Sirius shrugged.

The doctor watched Sirius carefully, like Lily had that first time he’d dragged Remus home from work. God, Sirius hated being psychoanalysed, which was scarily like what was happening right now.

The door opened and in walked Remus. Sirius studied him for any difference in demeanour; if Regulus had been here, that meant Remus knew.

The truth hit Sirius like a sack of bricks.

Remus knew.

Sirius had left it too late and now Remus had found out through someone else. Why hadn’t Sirius told him, Sirius should’ve told him. He should have told him the day he found out, not waited for Remus to work it out.

Or…

What if Remus had worked it out from the beginning? It’s not like he and Regulus looked that different, maybe he’d pieced it together?

Sirius hated the idea of that. What did Remus think of him, not telling the truth?

How long had Remus known? Longer than Sirius? Or had he just found out when Regulus showed up at the hospital?

How had Regulus even known? Had Remus mentioned something to Dorcas? But then why would Dorcas tell Regulus? Did Dorcas know? Did Lily know? Is that how Regulus had known to come here?

Or had Remus gone straight to Regulus? Were they really that good friends? Oh god, had Regulus told Remus.

Oh and the song. The song.

Had Regulus seen that?

Was that why he was here?

Oh god.

Sirius took a deep breath, trying not to look like he was close to a full blown mental breakdown, as the doctor went over a few other things before letting him go. Finally, she left, and Sirius looked up at Remus.

“Rem-” Sirius’ voice cut itself off, smaller and shakier than he’d planned. “Remus-”

“Are you okay?” Remus had suddenly darted across the room and was at Sirius’ side in seconds. “Does anything hurt, do I need to call the doct-”

“No!” Sirius stopped him, suddenly feeling panic rise in his throat. Regulus had been here. Why had Regulus been here? “Remus, who’s been here to visit me?”

“Me, Andromeda, Lily.”

“Anyone else?” Sirius asked desperately, hoping for Remus to give him some sort of indication of exactly what he knew. Remus just raised an eyebrow at him.

“I think you know.”

Sirius blinked, feeling his heart drop. Remus really did know.

And Sirius couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d majorly fucked up.

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry Remus.”

Remus blinked at him in disbelief. “For what?”

“Not telling you,” Sirius said, frowning. “I just- I assumed you’d be mad.”

“What?” Remus didn’t sound even remotely angry, just disbelieving. “Sirius,” he said, cupping Sirius’ face in his hand. “I am not mad at you, okay?”

“But- I lied to you?”

“Sirius, you’ve been through some shit, okay?” Remus began to stroke Sirius’ cheek with his thumb, something that he knew comforted him. “You dealt with it the best way you could and, sure, maybe it wasn’t the best way of doing it, but I’m. Not. Mad.” Remus kissed Sirius gently, and Sirius kissed back, tugging him closer. He just needed the presence of his boyfriend, to remind him it was all okay.

“Has he seen the video?” Sirius asked quietly, and there was no question who ‘he’ was.

Remus nodded, Sirius feeling the motion against the top of his head. “He’s seen all of them,” Remus muttered.

He watches our videos? Sirius felt a small amount of giddy excitement at that. Then he suddenly felt guilt hit him like a sack of bricks. If Regulus watched Sirius’ videos, that meant he knew what was going on in Sirius’ life. He knew every Halloween costume, every Christmas party, every gig, every award, he knew everything about the last four years.

All while Sirius knew nothing about him.

“I gave him your number,” Remus said. “Is that okay?”

“Y-” Sirius took a deep breath, collecting himself. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You could text him first if you wanted?”

Sirius shook his head. “Can we not think about it today?” He asked. “Please?”

“Of course,” Remus kissed the top of Sirius’ head. “C’mon, let’s get you out of here.”

Lily had to drive them back, and they got halfway back before remembering they needed to stop by Sirius’ flat to grab his stuff. After that little pitstop, they were finally able to go home.

Remus just wanted to get home, take his leg off and stay sitting down for the rest of the evening.

The feeling of coming home after being in the hospital was one he was all too familiar with, but he’d never experienced it like this before. He suddenly understood why Lily would always hover once Remus got back, because she wanted to make sure he was safe.

He now understood the inexplicable guilt Lily felt from that one time he’d fallen over and broken his nub. Because, though logically he knew that he couldn’t have done anything to stop Sirius from getting on that bike, he still couldn’t get it out of his head that maybe there was something. He shouldn’t have left Sirius alone, knowing that he had a tendency to make impulsive decisions without anyone to stop him.

But then he’d have to never leave him alone, and that just wasn’t possible. And Remus knew that, he really did.

But he knew by now that his brain hated him, as it ran over every possibility. It could have been so much worse.

What if the bike had fallen on top of him after he’d fallen off? What if a car had hit him while he was falling, what if his helmet had fallen off?

What if he hadn’t been lucky?

“Remus, I know what you’re thinking and you need to stop,” Lily said, while they were sitting on the sofa, alone for once because Sirius was in the toilet. “There’s nothing you could have done.”

“I know,” Remus insisted, and Lily raised an eyebrow. “No, I do! I just-”

“Your brain hates you?”

“Yup.”

They both sighed, almost exactly in sync. Lily could read Remus’ thoughts, just like he could read hers.

“I-” Remus gestured wildly with his hands. “I was just so scared Lily,” he said. “I thought- When I got the call and they couldn’t tell me what was happening- I was- I was just-” Remus’ frazzled mind wasn’t letting him string together an entire sentence, but he knew Lily knew what he meant. She’d had the same thoughts more than just a few times.

Peter had come and gone a few hours ago, it was getting late. James would be landing soon, Remus realised. They probably should go to bed, considering they were all fucking exhausted, but he doubted anyone would be getting much sleep.

Running water from the bathroom signalled that Sirius was finished, and then the door opened. Sirius slumped down on the sofa next to Remus, who wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

Lily watched them, flicking through Netflix before giving up and putting on Heartstopper, knowing full well they’d all watched it a million times, but what was one more?

It didn’t surprise her in the least when they were both fast asleep tangled up with each other by the end of the first episode.

There was this incessant ringing in Sirius’ ears.

Shrill, and constant and loud. God, it was fucking loud.

He groaned, plugging his ears, when suddenly he was being shaken by someone. “Sirius!”

He blinked his eyes open and saw a blur of red hair. “Lily?” He asked sleepily. “What?”

“James is at the door,” she said. “Go answer it please.”

“What?” Sirius rubbed at his eyes, carefully detangling himself from Remus.

“Mmm, Sirius?” He asked sleepily, his eyes half open. “I think James s'here.”

“Well done Sherlock,” Sirius leant down to kiss him gently. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay,” Remus rolled over so he was face first into the sofa, which didn’t look very comfortable, but Sirius didn’t comment.

It took a couple moments for him to realise that, for some reason, they were on the sofa instead of in a bed, but he decided to question that later and talk to James now.

When he opened the door, he was instantly suffocated in a bone crushing hug. He tightened his own arms around James, hoping to provide some assurance that he was here, he was alive and not going anywhere.

“Oh, god,” James’ voice was scratchy from crying, and exhausted like he hadn’t slept for days. “Padfoot-”

“I’m okay.”

“You- You utter bastard!” James said, though it lost all its heat when his voice cracked with both shed and unshed tears halfway through. “You fucking- I can’t- Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

“Prongs-”

“I’m not done being mad at you!” James snapped. “The video- And then I got that call from Andy- I thought- You couldn’t even wait until I was in the country you bastard!”

“I mean I wasn’t exactly trying-”

“Still not done! I thought you were- I almost had to get on that plane not knowing if you’d still be here when I got back!”

“James, it wasn’t serious-”

“I didn’t know that! For all I knew you could have been hanging onto life by a thread! You can’t- You don’t- Then you made a fucking joke about it? Don’t think I didn’t see your story, you- You’re a bastard and I hate you and I said from the start I hated that bike but you didn’t listen and you need to thank your lucky stars that I hated it so much that I spent all that money on that helmet because it just saved your fucking life, you fucking idiot!”

James sighed heavily, because he’d spoken practically all in one breath and he was turning slightly purple from a lack of oxygen and Lily probably wouldn’t have been very happy if he passed out on her floor.

“Okay, I’m done now,” he said, but didn’t let go of his grip on Sirius. “Want to give me an excuse?”

“Well, it’s not like I tried to get hit by a car!” Sirius protested. “So I don’t really know why I need an excuse.”

“Because you don’t get to scare the shit out of your friends then just not say anything,” James said, and it should have sounded angry, but it mostly just sounded exhausted. Sirius wondered if he’d slept at all on the plane at all. He squeezed him slightly before trying to pull away, but James’ hand shot out to grab his arm, like he was scared that he was going to melt away if he didn’t.

“Prongs, I’m sorry,” Sirius said quietly. “I didn’t want to- I didn’t want to scare you, I-” He broke off. “I told Remus,” he muttered. “About Regulus.”

James huffed in approval. “About time.”

“Well he kinda figured it out.”

Eyes narrowed, James said; “Elaborate.”

“He was at the hospital.”

James suddenly let go of Sirius, looking straight into his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Sirius took a shaky breath. “I just- Y’know.”

James nodded, grimacing. “I know.”

“He’s not mad or anything,” Sirius said quickly. “Moony, I mean. He’s like- He’s fine, I think he’s a bit confused because I lied but he’s not, like, angry, so I think that’s fine. I just- It’s Regulus, and I kind of fucked up with him and I don’t really deserve a second chance but I really want one because, y’know, he’s my brother and I love him and I guess I’m just kinda scared to fuck up again and I thought I’d fucked up with Remus earlier and it fucking terrified me because- Well, I think he’s it. And like, I know I thought that with Henry who turned out to be a total dick but that was just me being a naive teenager and like Remus isn’t a dick at all, he helps old ladies cross the street and he adopted a cat once, did you know that? He found this stray kitten and his mum let him bring it home then a woman said that it was her kitten who’d run away and she’d been worried sick and she showed them pictures and Remus just handed the cat over, no crying or protesting or negotiating, he just gave his cat to a stranger because it was her cat and she loved it and can you believe that? That’s like a really non-dick thing to do and I think Remus is it, I don’t know, I just- I love him James. And I know people can love a lot in their lives but Remus is different and I- I don’t know, I kind of think I really really want to be his forever and I know forever’s like, a long time, and I know I’ve said ‘like’ and ‘I know’ a lot but I really love him quite a lot actually and I don’t want to lose him and I think he’s my forever like- I don’t know, I just think-”

“You feel forever about him?” James finished for Sirius and he realised that was really the way he’d meant to put it. It was quite simple in that way. He just knew that he wanted Remus to be the one he was with forever. He knew relationships always ended one of two ways- someone gets hurt or someone dies. Sirius seriously hoped it would be the latter. The idea of getting his heart broken by Remus ripped at a hole in his heart that had been there since his childhood, and the idea of breaking Remus’ heart created a new one.

“Yeah.”

Forever was a long time. Almost impossible for a human to understand.

But forever and Remus just sort of… Went together.

Remus pretended to be asleep as Sirius and James talked, his face still buried in the sofa, doing a good job at hiding his giddy grin. God, he was acting like a little kid with a crush, not a twenty year old who’d been in a committed relationship for five months.

“I know you’re awake,” Lily whispered over the back of the sofa. “Don’t worry I won’t tell him.”

Remus grunted his thanks and the gentle tapping of Lily’s bare feet on the wooden floors signalled that she’d gone back to her room. Remus listened as James and Sirius hugged one final time, before the sound of the door opening and closing rang through the house and Sirius’ gentle hand came to shake Remus awake.

“Moony?” He said softly. “I think we should probably go to your bed. Sleeping on a sofa isn’t very good for your back and you’ve already got one body part missing.”

Remus groaned in a good impression of half consciousness, letting Sirius pull his arm around his shoulder so he could manage a half hop, half carry to the bedroom, pulling down the duvet and sinking in, Sirius wrapping his arms around Remus and burying his head in the crook of his neck. Remus’ hands met at the small of Sirius’ back, his arms around his waist, strong and steady.

“Love you,” Sirius murmured sleepily, and a little thrill coursed through Remus’ body as those two little words were spoken.

“Love you more,” he said, and Sirius lifted his head up from his boyfriend’s neck to look him dead in the eyes.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.”

“No-” 

Remus cut him off with a gentle kiss.

“It’s nearly three in the morning,” he said, and reached up to brush a loose strand of hair out of Sirius’ face. “Go to sleep.”

“M’kay,” Sirius muttered and Remus pulled him in, so his head was resting on his chest, and began to scratch at his hair, brushing his fingers through it. “For the record, I love you most.” Sirius said, voice muffled by Remus' chest.

“How about we just say we love each other equally?” Remus asked, kissing the top of Sirius’ head. They hadn’t slept in the same bed since the cottage two weeks ago, which, admittedly, wasn’t very long, but felt like an age for both of them.

Two boys in a bed together was quite a simple thing. And, for Sirius and Remus, it was the simple things that were important. Both their lives were so full of big things, big battles they had to fight, almost every day.

Most people liked their loves to burn bright, like fireworks, constantly exploding in hot, bright, loud, beautiful bursts of colour and magic. But, for most people, love was about the only big thing in their lives.

Sirius and Remus had enough burning. They had enough noise, enough fire.

And there was something just as magical and beautiful in a love that flowed like a river, soft and steady, a gentle, comforting sound almost like music. And with the guarantee that it will always find its way back to the ocean.

It was simple, not big and bright and loud and colourful like some other relationships, but maybe that was better. Maybe simplicity was the right answer.

And it was the simplicity of when they woke up and made their way to the kitchen, making pancakes and smothering them in nutella and grated chocolate because, though Sirius was usually a sugar and lemon guy, sometimes you just need something sweet. It was the simplicity of Remus running a bath and washing Sirius’ hair, rinsing away the mud and dirt from the accident with gentle fingers, using the showerhead to run warm water across Sirius’ scalp. It was the simplicity of the subsequent day they spent together, reading and talking about whatever nonsense that popped into their head. It was the simplicity of Remus driving Sirius back to his flat in the afternoon to join the Marauders for a BBC Ghosts marathon and ending up staying the night.

It was just the simplicity of Sirius and Remus that made them work.

That made a forever together tangible, possible.

Almost, if they could dare to think it, certain.

Unknown Number

Hey Sirius. It’s Regulus.

Chapter Text

“Did you or did you not kiss a boy?” Walburga asked, her voice low and angry. Sirius was trembling, but he set his mouth in a firm line. She wasn’t winning this time.

“Yes,” he said, jutting his chin out and scrambling to his feet. “I did.”

“Surely you understand, Sirius,” Walburga tilted her head, her voice almost sing-song. “That such… Oddities can not be allowed of a Black. You are upholding our family name in public, to get caught kissing someone of the same sex is not acceptable for a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”

Regulus was standing in the doorway, Sirius could see him in the mirror. He was playing with his tie nervously, seeing where this was going. He shook his head slowly and Sirius instantly knew what he was trying to say.

Don’t, it’s too dangerous.

Sirius wished he could have his brother’s patience. His brother’s ability to stay silent. But he just didn’t.

So he turned on his heels and stalked up the stairs.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK GET BACK DOWN HERE NOW! WE ARE NOT FINISHED!”

“Yes we are, Mother,” Sirius said. “You always said, you would not accept a gay son. Well, too fucking bad.”

“You do not speak to me that way!” Walburga turned an odd shade of red, her voice slightly strangled. “Get down here so we can decide on a proper punishment!”

“No!” Sirius snapped. “No! I’m packing a bag and I’m getting out of this hellhole!” He took Regulus by the arm, hoping he was coming across confident, because he felt anything but.

“No, Sirius,” Regulus said quietly.

“Wh- Reg, you really want to stay here?” Sirius whispered the nickname.

“It’s too dangerous,” Regulus replied. “I can’t- I can’t go with you.”

“Effie and Monty will take you,” Sirius insisted, “You’ll be okay.”

“No…” Regulus shot him a final, desperate look. “I can’t.”

“She is staying here,” Walburga came up behind them, placing a hand on Regulus’ shoulder. “And so are you, Sirius. I cannot have you desecrating our family name. You will go stay here and get over this ridiculous phase!”

“It’s not a fucking phase,” Sirius growled. “I’m gay. No therapy or grounding or punishment or anything will change that!”

Walburga narrowed her eyes on her son. “I have stayed polite,” she said. “I have refrained from hurting you.”

Sirius scoffed. “Tell that to the scars on my back.”

“You do not-”

“I do-” Sirius started but was cut off by a swift slap across his face, hard and fast. It stung, hard. Walburga smiled down at him.

“Let that be a lesson-”

“No,” Sirius stood back up, facing her dead in the eyes. He was taller than her, yet she felt so much bigger in that moment.

“Sirius Orion Black, I raised you better than this!” She slapped him again, hard across the face. “I did not raise you to be gay. I did not raise a f-”

“If you dare utter that word,” Sirius growled. “I will tear you and your whole ‘Noble And Most Ancient House Of Black’ down to the ground in a single fucking second.”

She slapped him again, so hard he stumbled and fell back into the sofa, rolling over the back of it and hitting the hard brick wall. Fuck, he’d feel that in the morning.

Suddenly, something hot burned against his skin. Hot and metallic and sharp and fucking painful. It took everything in him to not scream out, instead he looked desperately to Regulus.

Look away, he tried to tell him with his eyes, as the firepoker burned into his skin. Regulus scrambled out of the room.

She began to curse at him, throwing slurs and insults every direction, with every blow she dealt to him.

Sirius soon lost all energy to fight back. He was battered, bruised and fucking in pain.

Maybe it wasn’t worth it…

Maybe he should just tell her it wasn’t true- Maybe then she’d leave him alone?

He rasped out something, some defiant insult, he wasn’t quite sure, his mind was too woolly with pain, grabbing the poker as it went to hit him again, ignoring the burning pain as he held onto it, pulling it out of her grasp and throwing it at her.

It caused enough distraction for Sirius to scramble to his feet and run for the front door, not bothering to put on a coat even though it was December and freezing outside. He could feel the burns and bruises stinging his skin, blood soaking his white school shirt. He ran as fast as he could, not quite sure where he was going, tears pricking at his eyes.

He’d done it this time. There was no going back.

He ran and ran until he couldn’t run any more. It was raining, hard. He reached the bus stop and collapsed on the seat. It was only two minutes before a bus pulled up and Sirius staggered on and the driver ignored that he didn’t have a bus card.

He didn’t know how long it was before he got off the bus, and began the walk to James’ house, his brain woolly with the burning pain. Dark spots danced in his vision and he felt something hard beneath him as he collapsed onto the gravel.

“Sirius?”

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt. 

“Sirius, are you waking up?”

Sirius groaned and someone gasped.

“Padfoot?”

He blinked his eyes open to see James’ nervous face hovering over him. “Oh, thank god. Are you okay? What happened? What hurts?”

Sirius tried to speak, but nothing came out.

“James, beta, step back please.”

Effie?

“Sirius, jaanu, blink if you understand me,” Effie said, her voice laced with concern and Sirius made sure to blink extra hard.

He hummed in his throat, coughing. “Wh-what happened?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

“We were hoping you could tell us that,” James said from a chair by the bed he was lying in. He craned his neck slightly, looking around before realising he was James’ room. “You were passed out about a hundred metres down the road from here. It’s a good thing Papa went to bring the bins in or we might not have found you for hours.”

“You’ve got a load of burns I’ve patched up,” Effie said and she sounded so worried that Sirius felt instantly guilty for doing this to her. “And some bruises and scrapes. Your arm and head were bleeding but I think that might have been from you passing out.”

“The back would be when she threw me against the wall,” Sirius muttered, but obviously not quiet enough because James was suddenly standing up, fists balled.

“She did what?”

“‘S fine,” Sirius waved a hand around vaguely. “Oh, and I might need to stay here from now on. I don’t think she’s letting me go back.”

Effie’s brows creased and James looked like he was about to explode. “What happened Sirius?” He asked, and it sounded angry.

“Found out about me,” he said. “Think one of m’cousin’s friends saw me snogging Daniel.”

“You and Daniel broke up two months ago,” James said. “Why now?”

“‘Might not’ve been him, I dunno,” Sirius was aware of the various aches that were riddling his body. His back was throbbing and there was a distant pain in his head. “‘V’e snogged a couple boys just for fun since then.”

“Sirius,” Effie said. “Tell us what happened.”

“Got home, she cornered me. Told her I was gay, she slapped me. Tried to run upstairs to get my stuff, slapped me again, then again and I fell down. Started hitting me with the firepoker-”

“She did fucking what?” James’ voice was dangerously low.

“Firepoker,” Sirius replied. “I grabbed it, threw it at her, run out.”

“That would explain the burns,” Effie muttered to herself. “James, go get your father. Tell him we’re filing a police report-”

“No!” Sirius said quickly.

“Sirius,” James stared at him. “They hit you with a hot fire poker, what do you want us to do? Nothing?”

“Yes!” Sirius insisted. Why couldn’t they understand? “They’ll sue you and you’ll lose! They own a fucking law firm, they’re part royalty for fuck’s sake! I’m in line for the throne of England! Sure, like three-hundredth, but still! It won’t do anything, it’ll just get you in trouble!”

“Sirius!”

Effie frowned, but nodded. “Beta,” she turned to James. “Calm down.”

“Wha- Mama! They hurt Sirius!”

“He’s safe now,” she said firmly. “That’s all that matters.”

James’ fists were still balled, but he leant against the windowsill. “Fine,” he grumbled.

Effie nodded, and helped Sirius sit up properly. “Do you have a headache?”

“No?”

“Blurry vision?”

“No.”

“Dizzy?”

“No.”

“Do you feel sick?”

“No,” Sirius frowned. “Why-”

“Just want to make sure you didn’t do any damage when you fainted. You’re going to need to take your clothes off,” Effie said and Sirius choked on air.

“Why?”

“I need to check your injuries. Don’t worry, you can keep your pants on.”

So Sirius resigned himself to stripping off his clothes (which were actually James’ because the uniform he’d been wearing wasn’t exactly wearable anymore) and letting Euphemia check him over as James snickered in the corner.

It wasn’t long before Sirius’ memory came back to him in full and he made a strangled choking noise. “Reg!”

“What, jaanu?” Effie asked.

“Reg- My brother!” He repeated urgently.

“What about Reg?” James asked, sounding slightly nervous.

“He’s- He’s stuck there! I was gonna help him run away, I-”

“Sirius,” Effie cut him off. “Your brother is not your responsibility. Right now, you need to focus on you, okay?”

Sirius had nodded in the moment, but for the next four years, he’d regret not pushing more. He should have done more, to get Regulus out sooner.

They agreed to meet in the park.

Sirius had insisted on going alone, much to James’ dismay, but Remus simply nodded and let him go.

Sirius was sitting on a bench, his eyes darting around looking for a familiar face walking up towards him. Their messages had been brief, just detailed enough so they’d know where to go. Sirius had no clue what to expect, seeing his brother again.

Would Regulus be the same? Or would he barely be a ghost of the fifteen year old Sirius had known? After all, Sirius had changed a lot in those four years, what was to say that Regulus had too? Would they even get along any more, or would their new personalities just clash?

Or was this just a I’ve got a lot to say to you so I can move on meeting? Or a I hate you and I want you to know it one?

Sirius didn’t exactly deserve a second chance after all, he had left his brother behind. No matter how many times people told him that he did the right thing, that it wasn’t his job to protect Regulus, he put himself first for once and that was a good thing.

But he’d been told that so many times, by so many people and for some reason he just couldn’t get himself to believe it.

Someone cleared their throat behind him and Sirius whipped around.

And there was Regulus.

His black curls were short, falling just to the tips of his ears. He was wearing a dark green shirt, the collar poking out through his knitted black jumper, paired with slate grey skinny jeans and converse the same green as his shirt.

Sirius couldn’t stop the proud smile from creeping onto his face. “You look- Wow,” he said, standing up instantly. “You look amazing Reg- Can I call you Reg? Or is it just Regulus? I can just call you Regulus if you want, I don’t mind.”

Then Regulus chuckled and the weight on Sirius’ heart lifted considerably. “You can call me Reg,” he said.

“Oh- Okay Reg,” Sirius’ legs were shaking as he walked closer to his brother. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I’m so sorry Regulus. I shouldn’t have left you there, I- I’m so sorry.”

Regulus tilted his head as Sirius didn’t quite manage to meet his eyes, as if evaluating him. “Let’s take a walk,” he said, nodding in the direction of the cafe. “Get a drink or something.”

Sirius nodded and followed his brother down the path.

“Okay, let me set one thing straight before we start. You did nothing wrong.”

“Wh- What?” Sirius blinked. “But, I- I left you-”

“You got out,” Regulus rebutted. “You got out of that hellhole.”

“And you didn’t! I should’ve- I should’ve brought you with me- I shouldn’t’ve-”

“Sirius,” Regulus cut him off. “Please stop. I don’t know if you remember, but I refused to go with you.”

“Yeah, but I knew you weren’t safe there! I-”

“Sirius stop it!” Regulus snapped, before taking a deep breath, recentering himself. “Okay, let’s put it another way. I was holding you back. I was keeping you in that house.”

“What? Reg, no! You weren’t- I wanted to protect you!” Sirius insisted, turning to his brother in disbelief. “No, don’t think like that, you can’t blame yoursel- Oh.” He snorted at himself. “Oh.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Good job, you’re not an idiot.”

“Oh? Really, I was trying quite hard to hit the proper levels of idiocy.”

A soft laugh escaped from Regulus’ throat. He’d never admit it, but his life had been quite boring without his resident idiot.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, before Sirius spoke again. “You were at the hospital?”

Regulus swallowed, nervous. “Yeah.”

“How did you know?”

“Remus was in the shop I work at when Andy called him,” Regulus explained. “I drove him there.”

“You saw Andy?”

“Yeah,” Regulus smiled at the mention of their cousin. “I’ve been texting her actually. She wants me to meet her daughter.”

“Oh, Dora will love you,” Sirius chuckled. “She’s a bit of a nightmare child. Reminds me a lot of me.”

“Oh, lord help Andy,” Regulus said and Sirius glared at him, but he was smiling so it didn’t really matter. They turned a corner and joined the queue for the cafe, which had an ice cream stall in the summer and sold hot chocolate, coffee and tea to die for in the autumn and winter.

It was midday on a school day, so it was quiet, and the queue moved quickly. Soon they were at the front and Sirius ordered. “Can I have a coffee with hazelnut and whipped cream please?”

Regulus wrinkled his nose at Sirius before ordering a herbal tea.

“Ugh, you’re like Remus,” Sirius said once they’d paid. “He only drinks herbal tea or hot chocolate.”

“Remus has remarkably good taste,” Regulus hummed in approval. “You did well with him, y’know?”

“What? Remus? I know that.”

“Good,” Regulus said. “If you didn’t, I’d need to remind you.”

Sirius frowned. “I didn’t know you two were close.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Regulus stepped forwards to grab their drinks. He cupped his own mug with his hands and moved to sit at one of the tables outside the cafe. “He’s my friend. I’m protective of my friends.”

“A Black thing I guess,” Sirius took a sip of his coffee and whipped cream came away on his lip.

“That looks unbearably sweet.”

“Just because you need your life boring doesn’t mean I should subject myself to unbearable bitterness.”

“God,” Regulus scoffed. “You really are weird, Sirius Black.”

“That is what I strive for, yes,” Sirius nodded solemnly and it was just so bizarre that Regulus just burst out laughing.

“You are, without a doubt, the stupidest idiot I have ever met,” he said through chuckles. Regulus wasn’t sure what had come over him. He didn’t laugh very often, usually responding to jokes with a little roll of the eyes, and if something was genuinely funny, a smirk to himself.

He hadn’t laughed like this since he was fifteen.

And in that moment, he decided; he and Sirius were going to be okay. He was going to make sure of it.

“So, you’re going to uni for creative writing?” Sirius asked. “What happened to law?”

“That wasn’t ever my dream,” Regulus said. “Remember those stories I wrote when I was younger?”

“The ‘books’?” Sirius punctuated the word with air quotes. He’d helped Regulus make them, pieces of paper tied together with string, Regulus’ words and Sirius’ illustrations. “About the dragon trainer boy?”

Regulus nodded. “I’m writing them into a proper YA novel. Trilogy, actually.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve changed a lot of it,” Regulus ran through the changes in his head. “Y’know, so there’s a coherent plot. But yeah, concept’s the same. He’s a dragon trainer, falls in love with his brother’s best friend, they run away from his parents’ house, there’s a war… You can read it if you want? I’ve got most of the fourth draft finished, then it’s just final revisions. Then I can start the second one.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, and he sounded so confident in Regulus that it shook him slightly. “Yeah, sure, I’ll read it.”

“I’ll send you the document,” Regulus took a sip of his tea, when Sirius spoke again.

“I’ve still got those books, y’know?”

Regulus almost choked. “They- They went missing?” He asked.

“I brought them to James’,” Sirius said. “When it started becoming certain I’d run away eventually. So they were definitely safe. They’re at my flat.”

“Oh,” Regulus blinked. He’d never thought he’d see those books again. “Could I- Could I have them?”

“Yeah, course,” Sirius said. “They’re yours. I just wanted to keep them safe.”

Regulus nodded and a thought crossed his mind. “Do you still draw?”

Sirius gazed off to the distance. “Sometimes,” he said. “I mean- I write songs now, that’s kinda how I express myself but, yeah, I do- I draw sometimes. Like, if I’m watching TV, I get a sketchbook out.” He snorted to himself. “We make a bit of a pair don’t we? The musician, artist gay and the writer gay.”

Regulus smirked. “Yeah, I guess so. And we’re both the traumatised gays.”

Sirius stared at him for a moment before bursting into peels of laughter. “God, Reg- That’s the kind of joke I would make!”

“I didn’t mean it as a joke,” Regulus said, but now he looked back, he realised it kind of sounded like one.

“It was quite funny though, you have to admit,” Sirius said, and Regulus couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

The Dragon Trainer

Written by: RAB

Ilustrated by: SOB

Once upon a time their was a dragon trainer called Pollux. He rode a dragon called Gemini and he had a big brother called Castor.

One day Gemini and Pollux were flying and a big scary dragon ataked them.

Gemini was a very big dragon but the other dragon was even more big. It picked up Pollux and flew him away.

Gemini was very angry. He folloed the big dragon and breathed fire at him. The big dragon droped Pollux and he fell on the ground.

Gemini flew fast to get Pollux. He catched him and they went back home.

Castor was very woried wen they got home becus he loved Pollux a lot. They had a big hug and had a nice diner. They all lived hapily ever after.

The end.

Chapter Text

“Remus John Lupin get your arse back into bed right now or I swear to every fucking deity-”

“I’m fine Lily!”

“You’re not fucking fine, you can barely stand,” Lily snapped, practically shoving Remus down onto the sofa. “Take the fucking leg off.”

“Lily, I need to-”

“You need to to bed.”

“I have a date, Lily.”

“You’ve been dating him for six months, I’m sure he’ll understand,” Lily said. “Now, bed.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but took off his prosthetic and manoeuvred himself into his wheelchair, going into his bedroom and sitting down on his bed, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. “Argh, motherfu-” he said, before the pain cut him off. He exhaled sharply, grabbing his laptop and turning on one of Sirius’ videos to take his mind off it. His phone was sitting on the bedside table and he grabbed it. He debated just sending Sirius a text, but something inside him propelled his hand towards the call button.

He picked up within seconds.

“Remus?”

“Yeah, hi-” Remus paused for a moment, screwing his face up in pain. “I can’t- Make it,” he said, grabbing a fistfull of his duvet.

“Phantom pain?”

“Y-yeah,” Remus face-planted into his pillow, biting on his cheek to try and manage the pain even a little.

“Okay,” Sirius said softly. “Don’t worry about it, we can go another time.”

Remus took in a shaky breath in response. “‘M sorry,” he managed.

“Hey, Remus, listen to me,” Sirius said firmly. “You can’t help this, okay? As I said, the pumpkin patch isn’t going anywhere, we can go another time.”

“I know,” Remus pushed his head further into the pillow, before exhaling in relief as the pain allowed him a brief moment of respite. “I know,” he said, sitting up.

“I love you,” Sirius said and Remus smiled. It was as if those three words were keeping away the pain for the time being.

“Love you too,” he said and just managed to hit the hang up button before the pain started up again and he almost screamed with how sudden and loud it was. It crowded into his brain, taking up every sense so he couldn’t think about anything other than the blinding pain.

It was like he was being stabbed by a knife, though he imagined if he was being stabbed the pain would dull after a few moments. But it just kept coming.

He curled up around himself, balling his fists and tensing up, trying to focus on Sirius’ voice coming from the laptop.

“Fuck,” he muttered, crawling underneath his duvet and burying his face in the pillow Sirius had slept on two weeks before, hoping to inhale some of his scent, even though it was long gone. “Fuck, ow- Motherfucker,” he swore to himself when he had the ability to speak and when he didn’t he just scrunched himself up into a ball, pressing his face further into the pillow and waiting for it to subside even a little bit.

Remus had no idea how long it had been when he heard his bedroom door crack open.

“G’away Lils, ‘m not in the mood,” he muttered, screwing his eyes up as a sharp wave of pain hit.

“Okay, I know I’ve got long hair but that’s where the similarities end,” a cheeky voice said from the doorway that was certainly not Lily’s.

“Sirius?” Remus asked, rolling over to get a good look at his boyfriend. It made a welcome change of scenery from the pillow he’d been staring into for the past however long.

“Hey,” Sirius said softly, putting something down on the end of the bed and sitting down next to Remus.

“What- What’re you doing here?”

“You sounded upset about the date,” Sirius took Remus’ hand and he squeezed it tightly as another wave of pain washed over him. “So I thought we could just cuddle or something?”

Remus swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

“Oh, and uh- I brought you something,” Sirius leaned over and pulled out a wicker basket, lined with orange tissue paper. “I’ve got three different types of tea and chocolate- I also got a hot chocolate bomb, Lily’s making that now- and a new blanket, and some socks, and a jumper.”

Remus snorted. “You bought me a new jumper while wearing my jumper?”

“What? No,” Sirius said, before looking down and realising he was, in fact, wearing Remus’ jumper. “Oh.”

Remus smiled, pulling Sirius down into the bed with him, burying his face in his chest and inhaling his smell. It was comforting, rubbing his nose in his own jumper, except now it smelled slightly like cigarette smoke and posh coconut shampoo and graphite and Sirius.

“Oh, okay, we’re going down then,” Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Remus. “Oh, I also got you that new Oscar Wilde edition.”

Remus perked up, grinning. “The splayed edges? Hardback, leather bound?”

“Yep,” Sirius said proudly and Remus leaned over to look at it, gasping when he saw it.

“Oh, my,” he said quietly. “Thank you.”

“Anything for my Moony,” Sirius said quietly and Remus buried his face in his chest so he wouldn’t see the blush creeping onto his face. “You okay?”

“Mmm, yeah,” Remus muttered, satisfied for a moment until he started gripping Sirius’ shoulders as another wave of pain washed over him. “Sirius-”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Sirius kissed Remus’ temple and held him tight while he curled up in pain, “I’m here Moony, I’m here.”

“Don’t go,” Remus whispered and Sirius realised he was holding on tighter, scared. “Don’t go Pads, I need you-”

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart,” Sirius’ heart broke a little when he heard how sad Remus sounded. He’d seen phantom pain before, of course he had, but it hadn’t been like this in a while. At least, Remus hadn’t let him see it like this in a while.

“S-sweetheart?” Remus said and it was clear the pain was gone, for a few minutes before it would start back up again.

“Oh,” the word slipped out before Sirius realised what he was doing. “Oh, sorry, is that weird? It’s weird isn’t it? I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, it just kind of slipped out, I won’t- Christ, I’m sorry, I-”

“Sirius-”

“I’ll just stick with Moony, yeah? Unless you really don’t like it, then I’ll stop-”

“Sirius-”

“I could always call you something else? Or if you just want your name, that’s fine, I’ll just call you Re-”

“ Cariad,” Remus pressed a finger to Sirius’ lips. “It’s okay. I like it.”

“Wh-what did you just call me?”

“ Cariad. It’s Welsh.”

“Oh,” Sirius didn’t meet Remus’ eyes as he spoke, his cheeks becoming warm, “Could you- Could you say it again?”

“What, cariad? Do you like being called cariad, cariad?”

Sirius nodded, hanging his head. “You- It’s- Welsh.”

“It is Welsh,” Remus agreed, raising an eyebrow. “Where are you going with this cariad?”

"The- the Welsh-" Sirius said, swallowing. "It's um- doing things for me."

"Oh," Remus began to snicker under his breath.

"Don't laugh at me!" Sirius protested indignantly. "It's not funny Remus!"

"I mean it's not like it's French or anything," Remus said, making sure to put on a Welsh accent, watching as Sirius' face heated up. "The French accent is-"

" Et l'accent français, Remus?" Sirius smirked and it was Remus' turn to squeak in surprise.

“Wh-”

“ Tu trouves que j'ai l'air sexy? ”

“Sirius,” Remus looked down, not trusting himself to meet Sirius’ eyes without spontaneously combusting and splattering across the room in a pile of Remus Lupin jelly. “English please.”

“ Tu n'aimez pas ça? ” Sirius lifted Remus’ chin so their eyes met. “ Mon amour?”

“ Cariad,” Remus said helplessly, and then, in a desperate bid to shut his boyfriend up, “ Wyt ti Tennessee achos wyt ti yr unig deg dwi'n gweld.”

That, at least, shocked Sirius back into English, as he started to sputter incredulously. “Was that- Was that the Tennessee pick up line?”

“I panicked okay!”

“So you said the Tennessee pick up line?”

“No, I- I just- Ugh, shut up, I’m in pain.”

James absolutely wasn’t staring at Regulus.

He was just… Appreciating the shininess of his curls. And the little dimples he got in his cheeks when Sirius said something enough to make him smirk.

And, well- His eyes were quite nice. They were slightly thinner than Sirius’, more like a cat’s. It was quite pleasant to look at, really.

So, he wasn’t staring at Regulus, per se.

More at all of the features that made up Regulus.

It was Indian night and James had been cooking paneer, because it was simply tradition at this point. When Sirius came round for dinner the first time, James’ mum made paneer. Then when Pete came round the first time, she made it again.

Remus having paneer as his first Indian meal was completely accidental. James had already been making it, because it was Pete’s favourite, and Sirius decided to invite Remus over- without consulting anyone, mind you.

Now, both Lily and Regulus were invited over and, as per tradition, that meant it was paneer night.

Regulus looked around, a little lost, watching as Sirius scooped some of the cheese and rice into a piece of naan. There were no knives or forks and it was scaring him slightly.

Lily, however, seemed to know what she was doing. Her technique was the exact same as James’, who was now looking at her, unsure if he was impressed or just downright bamboozled.

“Have you had this before?” He asked her, and she nodded, swallowing a mouthful before answering.

“One of my mates in secondary made me this when I went round to her house. It was a bit of a disaster the first time but after seven years of Indian food at least once every month you get used to how to eat it without dropping sauce everywhere.”

James snorted and Remus looked over at her curiously. “Wait who was this? Ayesha?”

“Zainab,” Lily corrected. “Remember, we took it in turns going round each other’s houses?”

“Oh yeah, I liked her. No offence to Ayesha, but she sucked,” Remus pulled a face and Lily nodded, screwing up her nose. “Almost worse than Snivellus,” Remus muttered.

“Oi!”

“C’mon Lils, she was!”

“Not as bad.”

“Okay yeah she wasn’t a homophobic, racist, sexist, ableist and every other thing under the sun,” Remus shrugged, “But she wasn’t great, Lily.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sirius cut in. “Homophobic, racist, sexist, ableist guy called Snivellus?” He asked.

“Severus,” Lily said. “Remus came up with that nickname-”

“In Year 12, after he used a slur against you,” Remus said dryly.

“Would his surname happen to be Snape, by any chance?” Peter asked and Remus frowned.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah… How did you know that?”

Sirius and James exchanged a laugh before bursting into peels of laughter. “That dick lives in the flat above us,” James managed to get out through the wheezes. “Hates our guts. Thinks I’m an arrogant tosser-”

“I mean he’s not exactly wrong,” Remus cut in, reaching over to squeeze Lily’s hand across the table.

“Oi!"

"What? I don't support anything Snivellus does but you aren't exactly humble James."

"James knows his own worth," Sirius said stiffly and Remus snorted.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Hates Sirius cause he's gay and hates Pete cause he doesn't hate us," James continued. "And he's just an all round arsehole."

"I second that," Remus said and Lily grimaced slightly.

"Third."

"Also does he ever wash his hair?"

"I know right!" Remus grinned.

"I don't think I've ever heard the shower run when he's there."

"We should kiss in front of him, he'd have an aneurysm."

" We should!"

Regulus watched the exchange quietly. He just didn't have a place in this conversation. He realised that he was the only person without a history with this 'Severus', the only person who couldn't relate. It put him a bit on the outs with everyone. Sure, he knew everyone at the table: James and Peter through Sirius and Remus and Lily through Dorcas, but he didn't know them. And it was obvious, really, they'd all had six months together as a group, at least. Longer, probably, if they started hanging out at the time of the videos they posted together, back in February.

It was weird, Regulus thought, that he knew Remus better than Sirius. Most people met their brother's boyfriend through their brother, not the other way around.

"We should film something," Sirius said randomly, just as they were finishing up eating.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, like… truth or dare?"

"Really?" Remus shot him a look. "Of all the things, truth or dare?"

"I mean we could do say it or shot it?"

"No!"

"Oh people would eat that up," James said. "Remember the Wolfstar shippers in the comments of the first one?"

"They weren't shippers, they were conspiracy theorists," Remus said.

"Is it a conspiracy theory if it's true?" Lily asked. Remus stuck his tongue out at her.

And that was how Regulus ended up sitting in one of his brother's leather armchairs, shot glass on his knee with a camera set up on the coffee table.

Sirius had checked over and over again that Regulus was okay being filmed, and told him just as many times that they could edit his bits out or just not upload the video in general if he didn't want them to, and Regulus had told him over and over again that he didn't mind, that he knew what they could do if he didn't want to be in the video.

But Sirius was… well, popular. It wasn't like he could just hide from the cameras. If he was going to go anywhere with Sirius, eventually he’d be photographed. And it was clear the Marauders were going places, one day he’d have the paparazzi after him. It was inevitable, really. Regulus thought if he didn’t hide, they wouldn’t care so much. He crops up every once in a while, he’s just a part of it.

“Right, first question,” Sirius said, “Is for James and Peter.” He cleared his throat. “‘Now that Sirius and Remus are together, is love in the air for either of you two?’”

James’ eyes flicked to the floor, while Peter shook his head. “Prongs,” Sirius said gleefully. “You hesitated.”

“No,” James said, not at all convincingly.

“Aw, ickle Prongsie has a crush!” Sirius teased. “Who is it?”

“I don’t have a crush!”

“Oh you definitely do.”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do!”

“Okay!” Remus interrupted, throwing his hands up in the air and taking the phone off Sirius. “‘What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done because of a crush?’”

“Yeah, Sirius?” James swivelled his head around, raising an eyebrow. “What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done because of a crush, I wonder-”

“Shot,” Sirius said quickly, downing the glass and looking around. “Right, everyone else?”

“See now I’m curious,” Remus grinned. “What did you do?”

“It was amazing!” James said, his face lighting up. “You make our Padfoot do some crazy things, Moony.”

Recognition flickered across Peter’s face. “Wait are you talking about-”

“Yes,” James said just as Sirius said, “No.”

“Now I have to know,” Remus stared at Peter. “What happened?”

“You do not need to know,” Sirius insisted, crossing his arms like a grumpy child. “I have some dignity left.”

James tapped Remus’ shoulder and stage whispered, “I’ll tell you later,” followed by a wink.

“Okay!” Sirius glared at his best friend. “Someone else go.”

“I said ‘I know’ when he introduced himself,” Remus suggested. “That’s pretty embarrassing to be honest.”

“Hey, you said ‘I know’ when I introduced myself! You did that with another guy? I thought that was our thing!” Sirius complained and was met with one of Remus’ famous looks.

“Do you remember that once upon a time you were my crush?” He asked. Sirius shrugged.

James laughed in that contagious way of his and soon everyone was in fits of giggles, except for Regulus, who was satisfied with just a small smirk, which could only be seen if you were looking for it.

Thankfully James was paying very close attention.

olivia(maraudersversion)

I REMEMBER WATCHING THE OLD ONE OF THESE BACK IN MARCH AND SHIPPING SIRIUS AND REMUS SO HARD AND NOW THEY'RE TOGETHER AND IT'S MADE ME SO HAPPY

anonymouse

regulus is such a mood, how come we haven’t seen more of him??

rabidshipper3478

I’m with Remus WHAT DID SIRIUS DO??

oneleggedcat

Wait is regulus the brother as in Brother? What happened there, I’m curious

katwills712

5:09 oh we see you sirius staring at your bf

phoebe671

WOLFSTAR EXTRA CUTE MOMENTS ARE AT 0:42 1:56 3:31 5:03 6:29 7:18 8:57 and 9:56 not counting the cute kiss at the end

ashthedemon

don’t worry james, I personally cannot tell the difference between sacheted and tinned custard but I’m sure you can :D

bisxualwerewolf

JAMES POTTER DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH

potatoesarecool

sirius and regulus have the best sibling dynamic out of every sibling dynamic ever to exist

Chapter Text

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR PADFOOT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

Sirius threw a pillow at James’ face, burrowing his own into Remus’ neck. “S’too early,” he groaned, as his new pillow vibrated with its chuckles. “Stop laughing Moons, not funny.”

“It’s quite funny,” Remus said and, if he didn’t currently have his just woke up voice on, Sirius might have been mad. He then lowered his voice, to whisper right in Sirius’ ear; “ Penblwydd hapus, cariad. ”

“He got me up too Sirius, you’re not special,” Peter said from the doorway, taking a big sip from a mug. “‘Cept you two got an extra hour.”

“Well, someone had to wrap the presents didn’t they?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Happy birthday Pads.”

“Get out of bed you two!” James bounded back out of the room, grabbing Peter by the arm and tugging him along with him. “You have ten minutes!”

Remus chuckled and gently pushed Sirius off his chest, grabbing his jumper and brown jeans from the back of the desk chair. “Put some clothes on,” he told Sirius, who was still sitting on his bed, stark naked. He hated sleeping with clothes, for whatever reason. It also made it easier if they wanted to shag, though they were banned from doing that while James and Peter were in the house after the incident, which they all refuse to speak of.

There were a couple of cameras set up in the living room when they finally made it out of the bedroom, set to record. Sirius flopped down on the sofa and pulled Remus with him, rubbing at his eyes as James shoved the first present in his face.

“Prongs, give me five minutes to stop being asleep,” Sirius groaned, though he grabbed the present and opened it anyway.

Effie and Monty would come by later with their presents, so it was just James, Peter and Remus’ to open for now. He got a new sketchbook, graphite pencils, an assortment of rings and the sunrise boulevard 1989 (Taylors Version) vinyl from James, a karma is a cat t-shirt, new eyeliner and a set of new picks from Peter, and a moon ring which he instantly put on his right ring finger, a dog keyring and a knitted jumper that looked suspiciously like one Remus already owned.

“Will this stop you from nicking it?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head.

“It’ll stop smelling like you eventually,” he said and everyone burst into peals of laughter.

Birthday mornings were always Sirius’ favourite types of mornings, his or anyone else's. They’d all try (and usually fail) to make pancakes, end up burning them and give up to eat frozen waffles. Except it was different this time, because Remus could actually make pancakes without turning them into a crispy mess. They were very, very nice.

At noon, Effie and Monty dropped by to give Sirius his presents (the fancy colouring pencils he loved, a thick leather bound notebook and a polaroid camera with a few rolls of film) and bring round lunch (which James, Sirius and Peter handled just fine but Remus needed several glasses of milk, much to everyone’s amusement), then leave for them to prepare for Sirius’ party.

Though, Snape upstairs and Dolores downstairs would both throw collective fits if there was a party held in the flat, so they went to their rehearsal studio, which Peter and James had decked out in preparation the day before, while Remus and Sirius had a date.

Remus also headed off with Effie and Monty to get ready, much to Sirius’ despair. But all of his stuff was back at his house, not the flat, so he couldn’t complain too much.

So, at about three pm, Sirius hopped in the shower, washed his hair thoroughly and did his make up with the new eyeliner, smokey eye and stars around the eyeliner, similar to what he’d done for his first date with Remus. He liked seeing his boyfriend all flustered, and the stars were a surefire way to do just that.

When he got back to his room, there was a parcel on the bed wrapped in tissue paper. He frowned, ripping it open to find a pile of black mesh, ever so slightly sheer. He unfolded it.

It was a vest. A very short, sheer vest.

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. Well, that was his outfit for tonight sorted.

A white envelope fell out as he unfolded the vest, and Sirius grabbed it immediately, untucking the flap. There was a small card inside, edged with silver and a necklace.

It was a simple silver chain, with a small charm on the end. The letter R.

Sirius started grinning like an idiot as he scrambled for the card, opening it. Inside were five words and a date.

Because I really know you

21/2

“JAMES!” Sirius yelled. “PETER! GET IN HERE NOW, I’VE WON THE BOYFRIEND GAME!”

“I still don’t get why he didn’t get you an S,” Peter said, glancing at the chain around Sirius’ neck as they walked up to the door of their studio.

“I told you Wormy,” Sirius fingered the necklace again, obsessed. “In Call It What You Want, Taylor says ‘I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, not because he owns me but cause he really knows me’, right? And on the twenty first of February this year I posted a TikTok saying I wanted that for me and Remus left me a note with this that said ‘Because I really know you’, with the date February twenty first underneath it.”

“Hm,” Peter hummed under his breath. “Okay, I get it, that’s really fucking cute.”

“Right?” Sirius grinned, opening the door to the studio, which had been completely done up with gold, silver and black balloons scattered across the floor, large silver balloons spelling out TWENTY below a banner reading Happy Birthday. There were bowls of goodness knows what on the table they’d brought into the studio, and bottles of various alcohols, plastic cups lined up next to them to avoid breakage.

It would be another hour or so until anyone showed up for the party, so Sirius kicked back on the leather sofa they’d moved in here for the occasion and clicked on his phone.

“Oi! Oi, Remus, my eyes are over here,” Lily snapped her fingers in front of Remus’ face, which was not looking at her but over in the corner of the room where Sirius was doing some dance that involved a lot of arm movement, Taylor Swift blasting from his phone speakers as he did.

“Right, sorry,” Remus tried to drag his eyes away, but then Sirius shrugged off the leather jacket, so it was just him in the tiny vest, the chain hanging around his neck, hair flying around his face with that eyeliner (oh that eyeliner would be the death of him), those healed boots dancing around on the floor and tight leather jeans, and Remus couldn’t stop himself.

“Oh, I give up, I’m going to go talk to Mary,” rolling her eyes, Lily walked off, leaving Remus to stare, slightly open mouthed as Sirius started the dance again, with Marlene this time, swooping down, hand on his brow like he was shielding them from the sun.

“Close your mouth, you look like a fish,” Dorcas sidled up next to him, a glass of something in her hand. “I did warn you that he’d wear it.”

“No-one likes a smart arse, Dorcas,” Remus scowled, before murmuring to himself; “Y’know what? Fuck it.”

And he all but marched across the room to where Sirius was dancing. But, he stopped, dragging Remus into the camera. “Do the dance, Moony,” he slurred, ever so slightly drunk.

“You’re gonna have to teach me,” Remus said, his fingers dancing over Sirius’ face, carefully missing the eyeliner because he couldn’t risk smudging it.

Sirius nodded, showing him a version (that looked very dumbed down in comparison to the one Sirius had just been doing) and clicked record on the TikTok.

Remus tried to dance. Really, he did.

But Sirius.

“Sirius,” Remus muttered, grabbing him by the arm as he excitedly posted the video, not thinking much in his slightly drunken state. “Sirius, you’re—”

“‘M what Moony?” Sirius giggled, pulling him closer, circling his arms around his waist. “Dashing? Sexy? Very fuckable?”

“All of the above,” Remus wasn’t sure what to do with himself now that Sirius was in the vicinity of him, other than avoid eye contact at all costs before he did something he would severely regret.

“Hm,” Sirius grabbed Remus’ head and shoved it towards him, shoving his tongue down his throat.

There was a wolf whistle from somewhere across the room (probably James) as they crashed down onto the sofa, in each other’s personal face, Remus’ hand up the back of the crop top (not that there was much of it for his hand to go underneath but you get the point)

At some point, the front door opened, probably someone going outside to smoke or something like that, until a bored voice drawled, “Ew.”

Sirius shot up, leaving Remus lying sweaty on the sofa, still staring. If Sirius had been trying to get his boyfriend flustered, he’d definitely achieved that, probably a million times over.

“Reg?” He asked, voice slightly croaky. “You— Came?”

“I was invited, wasn’t I?” Regulus rolled his eyes. “Of course I came, I’m not a dick.” He handed Sirius a black shiny gift bag. “Happy birthday.”

A smile flickered across Sirius’ face as he took the bag. “Cheers Reg.”

Regulus looked Sirius up and down. “Why did you even bother putting that on?” He asked, eyeing the vest. “There’s so little of it.”

Dorcas tapped him on the shoulder, smirking slightly, and pointed to Remus.

“Oh,” Regulus rolled his eyes for the second time. “Get better taste in men Remus, you could do better.”

“Oi!” Sirius shot his brother a sour look as Remus shook his head defiantly. It was clear to Regulus that most people there were certainly not fully sober.

Dorcas watched, leaning against the exchange with a grin on her face. Maybe Sirius and Regulus had some stuff to work on, but they were getting there. And she’d known Regulus back when he had hated everything and everyone except Pandora, and when he only just tolerated Barty, Evan and Dorcas. (By ‘tolerate’, she really meant he cared quite a lot, just refused to admit it.) She knew how much it had taken him to even show up in the first place.

And she was proud of him.

IS IT OVER NOW WITH MY MOONYYYYYY

204 comments

Oli

Okay Remus we see you staring

<<<<3

yh I don’t think your moony’s dancing sirius

harry

I don’t blame you remus I mean…

user32178173289

whew is it getting hot in here 🥵🥵🥵

ally (taylors version)

hmmmmmm remus what are you looking at?

kai

Remus, mate, I see you staring (it’s totally valid and I would be too)

thea

IS THAT AN R ON SIRIUS'S NECKLACE OMGGGGG

          user4127127983

          YES IT IS LOOK AT HIS NEW PINNED VIDEO

Chapter Text

James Potter had found himself in many a precarious situation in his life.

There was that time when he was six and got stuck in the tree in his back garden. There was that time he asked out a girl on Peter’s behalf but she thought he wanted to go out with her so declined, because she had liked Peter.

Or maybe when he was sixteen and had been at a Liverpool match. In his excitement at a goal they scored, he fell over and ended up in the lap of the middle aged man sitting next to him.

But even that didn’t measure up to his current predicament.

You see, James Potter had recently discovered that he had a big, fat crush on Regulus Black.

Which could not, in any possible scenario, end well.

So, of course, James consulted the well of advice that was his mother.

“Sirius’ brother?” She didn't even look surprised.

“You could at least pretend to be shocked!” James put his head in his hands, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“James, sweetheart,” Effie shook her head fondly. “Sirius’ brother is just your type, from what I've heard about him.”

“Type?” James was confused at this. “What type? I don't have a type.”

“Mean. Dark haired. Sarcastic.”

“What do you mean?” James threw his hands up in frustration. “Give me one example!”

“Nico Di Angelo,” she suggested. “Jade. That young lady you brought home aged fourteen who looked like she hated you. Not to mention your physical type, if Regulus looks anything like Sirius. Don't think I don't see the way you stare at those photos of Timothee Chalamet.”

James groaned. “Mama!” 

“Am I wrong?” Effie sat back in her chair and, because James had been raised to never speak a lie towards his mother, he said nothing. “Listen sweetheart, I can't tell you how to handle this. It could get messy.”

James grimaced. Oh, he knew how messy it could get.

“But as your mother, it isn’t my job to tell you what to do, but be there for you when you need me,” she continued. “And, if you do end up being a tremendous idiot, I will inform you of it and give you a chance to correct your behaviour.”

A chuckle emanated through James, and the weight on his chest felt slightly lighter than it had mere hours before.

“Now, tell me,” Effie continued. “Sirius won’t give me any details, so what about him and Remus, hm?”

James’ face lit up. “Oh, he is so in love with that man, it’s tragic. He’s been writing so many soppy love songs-”

“If you had a partner, you would be writing soppy love songs, James, so don’t judge.”

“I’m not judging!” James insisted. “I’m just saying! The songs are really good!”

Effie grinned, reaching over and ruffling James' hair, eliciting a shout of protest and both of them burst into peals of laughter.

“It'll be okay, Jamie.

"We're going to bake a cake."

Regulus blinked, hard, trying to adjust to the bright light of his phone screen. "Wh— Sirius it's the middle of the night!"

"No, it's four in the morning, that was the time you used to wake me up on Christmas day. Consider this payback."

"I am not baking a cake with you."

"Effie said it would be a good bonding exercise, we are baking a cake."

"I am not driving to your flat at four in the morning to bake a cake, Sirius Orion Black."

"Then I'll come to you, but we are baking a cake."

"If I say yes can I go back to sleep?"

Sirius hummed under his breath. "Temporarily."

Regulus rolled his eyes, lying back against the pillows. "Fine."

All too soon, Regulus had been awoken once again by the doorbell of his flat ringing incessantly in his ears.

He stood up, rubbing at his eyes and was about to answer before stopping himself, looking down. He was very naked.

After throwing on some grey tracksuit bottoms and a black hoodie, he went to get the door, where Sirius was standing, looking all too cheery for the ungodly hour and carrying a blue plastic bag from the 24 hour supermarket, which must have gotten him some weird looks from the cashiers.

“Hello my dear brother,” he said, and sidestepped Regulus into the flat.

“Right, hello, just come on in.” Regulus rolled his eyes, unsure why he was entertaining this madness.

“We need to preheat the oven to 180 degrees,” Sirius said, taking the contents of the bag and putting them on the counter. “Then we have to—”

“Sirius, the sun is not up yet, please lower your voice.”

His voice dropped to a whisper as he continued to babble away with the ingredients. Regulus wondered briefly if maybe he was high, but he didn’t smell of smoke, and he was fairly sure that Sirius didn’t like weed, so perhaps this was just his general personality.

“Where are your cake tins?”

“I don’t own cake tins.”

“Why don’t you own cake tins?”

“Because I don’t make cakes.”

“Why don’t you make cakes?”

“Because I can’t be arsed.”

Sirius sighed, and pulled his shoes back on. “Come on, we’re going to buy you some cake tins.”

“Where are we going to buy cake tins at four in the morning, Sirius?”

“...We’ll go to my flat and get cake tins.”

James was awoken at some ungodly hour in the morning by a loud crash in the kitchen.

“Who the hell--” He muttered, rubbing his eyes and wandering into the kitchen, where Sirius stood, dressed fully in one of Remus’ jumpers, which was not an uncommon occurrence these days, and a pair of jeans that might have been James’ once upon a time, along with--

“ James!” Sirius yelled, covering Regulus’ eyes with his hands. They were surrounded by what looked like all of their cake tins that had fallen out of the cupboard in a mess of metal.

“What?! What’s wrong?”

“Sirius get your paws off me-- You’re not wearing any clothes, Potter,” Regulus squirmed out of Sirius’ grip, though he turned around.

“Oh.” James had forgotten that he slept naked. He’d never really understood words like ‘decency’ or at least didn’t care enough about them to start wearing clothes to bed when he moved in with Sirius and Peter. They’d been skinny dipping enough times that he didn’t really care.

“What in the fucking hell is going on in here?” Peter trudged into the kitchen (in pyjamas), looking around, eyebrows climbing his forehead.

“We’re just here to get cake tins, then we’ll be going back to Regulus’!”

“I’m forced to be here.”

“I just came to figure out what was going on!”

Peter sighed. It was a deep, deep sigh. The sort that James had previously thought could only be made by parents of at least four children. Though, he and Sirius were probably the equivalent.

“James, put some clothes on. Sirius, why the hell are you getting cake tins at,” Peter grabbed one of their phones--James couldn’t tell which one it was in the dark--from where it was charging on the kitchen island and squinted at it. “Four thirty-two in the morning?”

“I’m making a cake with Reg.”

“Regulus.”

“Reg.”

Peter blinked. James decided to go and put some clothes on.

How had Peter gotten himself in this situation?

Good question. He had no idea.

But here he was, helping Sirius, Regulus and James bake a cake. This was not what his baking skills were for, but who cares? Certainly not James and Sirius.

Peter loved his friends but holy shit, they were idiots.

“Sirius, don’t--” Regulus’ hand grabbed Sirius’ wrist just as he was about to crack the egg. “You’re being way too rough. We’re going to have shell for days if you do it like that.”

“He’s right,” Peter chimed in. “Be nicer with it.”

James emerged from his bedroom, thankfully wearing clothes this time. “Oh, we’re baking it here? Excellent.”

“I vetoed Sirius’ idea to bring the cake tins back on Regulus’ lap on the back of his bike, which is apparently how they got here--which was an awful idea, by the way--”

“I’m aware,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes, but he wasn’t annoyed. Peter could tell that much.

“So now we’re baking here.”

“What about… Sleep?”

“I love how optimistic you are about my ability to sleep with,” Peter gestured vaguely at Sirius fiddling with the stand mixture, “ This going on. Also, I don’t have work tomorrow, so I’ll be fine.”

“That makes one of us,” Regulus grumbled, and Peter pulled himself up onto the counter, deciding to watch as the brothers finished their mess. It was their bonding exercise after all.

Peter had always prided himself on his ability to read people. He’d considered becoming a psychologist, before James and Sirius got him into music.

When he’d first met Remus, he’d examined him closely, especially when he knew how much power that man could have to break Sirius’ heart. He’d very quickly realised that he had nothing to worry about.

With Regulus, he wasn’t nearly as sure as he had been with Remus. He didn’t think he’d try to break any hearts, but people rarely did. And, even if he denied it, James’ heart was at stake here too.

The first thing Peter realised about Regulus was that holy shit he needed therapy.

The second thing he noticed was that he wasn’t nearly as mean as he tried to pretend he was. He was introverted, sure. He was sarcastic, absolutely. But he wasn’t mean. That almost certainly traced back to his overwhelming need for therapy.

Now, he was noticing even more things. Regulus loved Sirius. Peter had always known that, but he loved him like they had never fallen out at all.

Sure, he was shutting himself off a little. He was scared. That was to be expected.

But he loved Sirius just as much as Sirius loved him. And that simultaneously made Peter hopeful and terrified, because it’s so much easier to hurt someone you love than someone you hate. Especially when you throw a whole childhood of trauma into the mix.

But the hope he felt for them was so big, so bright and colourful and happy that he was almost prepared to throw away all the fear. They were going to be fine, he was sure. They’d make it. Sirius always did--

“ Fuck!” Interrupting Peter’s lovely little moment of thought, Sirius just managed to catch the cake tin before the contents created a ridiculous mess on his floor, the bottom popping up. He settled it back in place and, in a very sensible decision, handed it to Regulus to put in the oven.

“How long do we need to put it in for?”

“Half an hour,” Peter said, “Is any TV on at five in the morning or are we using Netflix?”

“Netflix,” Sirius said. “I doubt the news is even on right now.”

“The news runs all night,” Regulus said, flopping on the sofa. “But Potter is asleep.”

“Why do you insist on calling him Potter?” Sirius asked, rolling his eyes, but he lowered his voice on account of James, who was sleeping sprawled across the other sofa. “His name is James.”

Oh, yeah, that was the third thing Peter had noticed about Regulus. He reciprocated James’ crush. Hard.