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It wasn’t that Dwalin was inept at doing their shopping, but Ori happened to enjoy it far more. Unfortunately, she was curled up in their apartment pressing her laptop against her stomach (for the heat to do away with the cramps) and praying for the end of days – according to the last text she’d sent him. He’d offered to pick up the groceries they needed that week, and was currently grabbing things that he knew she’d like at this time of the month. Simple stuff – chocolate ice cream, chamomile tea, honey, cool whip (she liked to do the Stewie Griffin impression because she was just that adorable), a heating pad, and some more potent painkillers that would help the cramping. Finally, he got to the last item on the list she’d given him, and he paused.
Tampons. Apparently they were out – not like he’d know (he didn't exactly use them, and he remembered she got them the last time they went shopping together a few weeks ago, but then she and Nori did a science experiment to see how they would absorb different liquids – water versus tea versues soda, then they explored different brands and flavors – and thus she used the last of them for the noble cause of science.)
It wasn’t like he was so insecure in his masculinity that he couldn’t stare at feminine hygiene products (because that was pathetic) but the issue was really in the brand. He’d seen her get them before – there were so many damned brands.
Which was the right one? Because she had to have a specific one. She had a specific type of ice cream.
‘Which brand do you want?’ He texted her
While he waited for her to reply, he stared at the different boxes, as if the correct one would suddenly reveal itself to him. As he tapped his foot and glanced at his phone, he overheard the sniggering behind him and rolled his eyes.
At over six feet tall, in a muscle shirt and jeans, Dwalin knew he looked more like he belonged in a basketball court then looking at tampons. That he was surely too much of a “manly man” to be caught dead performing such a chore.
Clearly none of these ruffians had ever had a true relationship.
One of them let out their impression of a whip noise, accompanied by the universal hand-motion that had his friends laughing.
“You’ll want the most absorbent one, you know, for your pussy.” Another called out, and the rest seemed to find that just hilarious.
Since she hadn't replied, he decided on the one with different colors, because it seemed the most interesting and she was always fond of things with color variety. And it had different sizes, because he remembered she didn't stick with a specific one. Before placing it in the cart, Dwalin slowly turned to face the others. He did this slowly, and with his trademark scowl firmly fixed on his face. Nori always liked to joke about how intimidating and scary he could appear to strangers (until of course people got to know him, and then apparently he ruined his image) and he decided to take full advantage of this.
“Is it funny to you that I’m buying these?”
There were three of them, clearly teenagers (maybe fifteen or sixteen) from the way they dressed and acted. They seemed taken aback at being addressed directly.
Before he could get a response, Dwalin continued, “Well, I guess it is. Some cashier will scan these, and obviously they aren’t for me. I wonder what they’ll think.
“Probably that I’m the lucky guy who has someone that he lives with, and at the end of the day I’ll be going home to a beautiful woman that I love, and who loves me and trusts me enough to get the things that she needs. That, unlike you, I am not wondering why women can’t seem to stand me. It’s because you’re all so fracking pathetic that you want a relationship without any of the trust and respect.”
With that, he drops the box into the cart, and then adds a box of pads as well (because he can’t remember if those were included in the science experiment as well, and Dori always says its better to have and not need). Dwalin doesn’t much care for what their reaction will be, because odds are it would have been something childish and ridiculous. Attitudes like those don’t change overnight; they come after years of growth and maturity. He’s glad he passed that stage a long time ago where being told to buy tampons would have freaked him out, and instead he can focus on judging the different brands for being too similar. That he can appreciate what it means to be able to buy products like these. It’s not until he’s checking out that he notices she replied to that earlier message. And sent several after that.
‘It does not matter – they all literally do the exact same thing.’
‘Get home already.’
‘I miss you’
‘I’m stealing a piece of clothing for every minute longer you take, so you won’t have any clothes pretty soon.’
‘Which is awkward for you.’
‘And wonderful for me.’
‘love you’
He smiled down at the phone as the cashier gave him the total. ‘Love you too Ori. Be home soon. Stop taking my clothes.’
After swiping the card, he noticed she replied, ‘Make me.’
He really was lucky.