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Kankuro was going up in the world. Friday night, a couple hours after the weekend started, but not so late that the audience was angry-drunk? He must have impressed someone at the comedy club to be offered the slot, and he was damned if he was going to bomb his first time in the primetime.
That meant a strong opening joke, and he’d spent a while working on this one.
“So I probably shouldn’t be telling you this,” he said, leaning in and lowering his voice, though with the mic he could be heard clearly throughout the room. It was all for effect, and it worked, the audience paying rapt attention. “The other comedians might kick me out of the special biweekly potluck we have. But I think it’s important to say.”
Mild chuckles at the idea of a comedian potluck, but not much else. That was fine. Kankuro was building his way towards something bigger.
“Sometimes, when we comedians talk about an anecdote from our lives, it’s actually something we saw happen to someone else, or something a friend told us happened to them. I don’t believe in that – I wouldn’t come up here and lie to you all – but tonight I’m gonna be doing the opposite. See, my brand new girlfriend is in the audience tonight. That’s her near the back, actually!”
He pointed towards the rear of the room, though with the darkness it was unlikely any of the patrons who craned their necks around would see anything. Kankuro waited for the sparse cheers and wolf-whistling to die down.
“And since I don’t want to embarrass her with some of my more risqué material, I’m gonna be talking about, uh, my friend’s sex life instead.” The mention of sex got the audience’s attention again, as he’d known it would, and Kankuro took a deep breath. This next part would make or break the opening of the show. “Anyway, a few days ago, my girlfriend and my friend were fucking–”
It took a heart-stopping second of silence for people’s brains to catch up with their ears, but then a wave of laughter filled the room. Kankuro breathed a sigh of relief, though the second part of the joke was yet to come.
Anko’s voice was strong, confident, and clear, just like they’d practised. “What the fuck! Your friend’s gonna be getting some tonight, that’s for sure!”
“I’m sorry baby,” he pleaded, over the sound of the audience laughing harder. “It was a slip of the tongue, I’ll get it right this time. So a few days ago, me and my friend’s girlfriend were fucking–wait, no, that’s not right–”
Kankuro had planned to pause there anyway, but it wasn’t up to him any more – the room was too loud for him to be heard.
The rest of the set went well, and he did dip into a bit of his raunchier material. After he finished he exited stage left, wiped the sweat off his face and downed a bottle of water in one go. Anko came to see him in the dressing room afterwards.
“You nailed your line,” he told her enthusiastically, sweeping her into a big hug and a kiss. “Tonight was electric!”
Anko squirmed out of his grasp after a long and comfortable moment, though she was grinning and she left his arm around her waist. “That was a lot of fun, I see why you love your job so much.”
“Wanna come up with something for next week?” Kankuro asked, already running through ideas in his head. Anko was the first girlfriend of his that’d ever been interested in his shows beyond liking the idea of a potentially-famous-in-the-future partner. He was trying to avoid admitting to himself that he was head-over-heels for her. “I’m thinking maybe something about dick size, that always gets a laugh, or pegging.”
“There’s a slight issue,” she interrupted him, grin fading. Kankuro stopped. Even when they’d been workshopping jokes about infidelity and swinging, Anko had never been bashful, but now she looked like she wished the ground would swallow her up. “So I might have mentioned you to my parents, and my dad might have decided to check out your show without telling me, and…” “...he might have come tonight?” Kankuro finished for her. He wished the ground would swallow him up right along with her. At least the situation couldn’t get any worse. They could come up with some damage control, figure things out, maybe move abroad to avoid dealing with this.
“And he might be outside the door right now.”
For the first time in a long while, Kankuro had absolutely no idea what to say.
“The dressing room isn’t exactly huge, so I’ll go wait outside with him.” Anko shuffled in place. “I know this is earlier than you might have wanted, or I wanted for that matter, but please don’t freak out. I really hope you like each other.”
“Of course,” Kankuro said. “Just give me a moment and I’ll be right out.”
“And afterwards we can workshop another joke. Maybe something about my parents walking in on us,” Anko grinned again, though Kankuro’s face must have told her it wasn’t the time. Instead she kissed him once more and slipped through the door, closing it behind her.
Kankuro took a few deep, calming breaths. They’d been seeing each other for just over a month, and been official for a week, and he really liked her. If Anko had been telling her parents about him, that meant she was really into him as well, right? Though if she cared what her parents thought, and they didn’t approve of him, that would be a problem. Kankuro was under no illusions about his various girlfriends’ parents’ opinions on him – he didn’t have a steady job, he’d moved around a lot, and he told jokes when he was nervous. This time, though, the thought of their disapproval left him feeling sick to his stomach instead of just a little irritated.
“Nothing for it,” he told the empty room, and with a final check in the mirror to make sure his hair was fine, he strode out.
Anko’s dad wasn’t what he’d expected. The man was tall, slender, very androgynous and dressed kinda slutty, if Kankuro was being honest.
“It’s nice to meet the man who’s been seeing my daughter,” he said by way of introduction. His eyes bored into Kankuro’s.
Kankuro wished he could have sewn his mouth shut, but instead he heard himself say, “Actually that’d be my friend.”
“Quite.” Anko’s dad raised an elegant eyebrow and Kankuro wondered if Anko would dump him on the spot, or wait till later. Moments later, though, he let out a less-dignified snort. He considered Kankuro again with those intense eyes, and nodded once. “Well, at least you’re not boring.”