Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2023-09-28
Completed:
2024-01-19
Words:
4,268
Chapters:
3/3
Comments:
105
Kudos:
372
Bookmarks:
85
Hits:
7,068

It's still you

Summary:

The Herrscher of the Void fails to escape the Selene's wrath.

When the dust settles, Himeko expects to find Kiana, but instead, she finds a scared little girl with purple hair.

Chapter 1: Unfinished Lesson

Chapter Text

The Herrscher of the Void growled in anger as she stares at the red-haired Valkyrie. That battlesuit, powered by her own gem!

 

She directs all her fury towards that woman wreathed in flames. Her lances crackled with lightning, her vapors are scented with death.

 

But nothing worked, all her efforts are reduced to ashes by the Valkyrie’s blistering flames.

 

The Herrscher continued her assault.

 

Over and over again.

 

Then, her senses screamed danger, and a white-hot beam of energy ripped through her. Honkai began to leak through her broken body, gushing out of every wound in bursts of searing heat as the Selene furiously bombarded her with photonic currents.

 

“My… my body is being torn apart! I have to get away—"

 

She tried to warp away, to escape the beam that was currently ripping her vessel to shreds, but a force pulled her back.

 

“You’re not going anywhere!” Screamed a voice inside her head.

 

The Herrscher gritted her teeth. “Insolent worm, you’ll get us both killed!”

 

She wanted to scream, THEY wanted to scream. The fear of death rippled through as cold permeated through every inch of her body.

 

The Herrscher dropped to the floor, a broken mess. Unmoving.

 

Neither of them wants to die, they don’t want to die again!

 

Her heartbeat began to slow.

 

No.

 

NO!

 

She still had the Gem of Serenity! The Herrscher can feel it starting to pulse.

 

Her form began to change, her vision blurring under the weight of her injuries.

 

The Herrscher of the Void lost consciousness.

 

 

…is it over?

 

Himeko watches the smoke cloud slowly disperse from the Selene’s attack. The Herrscher has finally been defeated.

 

The red-haired woman kneels on the metal floor, blood dripping from her wounds. Hah… I’ve really done a number on myself this time.

 

She staggers towards the smoke, using her greatsword to stop herself from losing her footing. It’s finally time to bring Kiana home—

 

Himeko expects to see Kiana when the smoke clears, but instead, she finds herself looking at an unfamiliar girl, unconscious.

 

The purple-haired girl looks nothing like Kiana, but she’s wearing Kiana’s White Comet battlesuit, it even has the exact same starry decals that Kiana had written on her request form. There isn’t anyone else here on the outer deck of the Hyperion, so… it must be her.

 

Himeko scoops up the young girl in her arms, and limps back towards the ship. The girl feels lighter, smaller than Kiana was, noticeably younger, and her hands are covered by the orange sleeves of her jacket.

 

There are small patches of white in her hair, specifically where it hasn’t been burnt off by the Selene a few moments earlier, as purple has grown to replace the hair that had burnt off, being most of it.

 

…

 

Just to be on the safe side, Himeko stops to retrieve the serum from the compartment on her thigh and presses the cylinder against the girl’s neck. Before the solution can completely empty, the Valkyrie pulls it out early, leaving half of the liquid in the cylinder. Better save some for herself.

 

The girl squirms, shivering for a moment, pearls of sweat forming on her face. She looks like she’s in pain, though it subsides, leaving only gentle breathing. The girl shifts, her hands pawing the fur hanging around Himeko’s shoulders for comfort.

 

How the hell is she going to explain this?

 

 

“Is this some kind of joke? She couldn’t have turned into that!” A young voice says, the girl can barely make it out. Sounds like its coming from behind a wall, or a door.

 

“Principal, I know this whole situation is confusing, but I found her where the ▉▆▀▀▊▇▊▉▇ was standing. The scientists said something about the ▇▊▊ reacting to the ▉▆▊▆█▆. They’re still looking for ways to reverse this.”

 

“▉▊▆▉▇▊, I understand that part, it’s just… she looks exactly like her.”

 

“Her?”

 

“That’s how the 2nd ▉▆▀▀▊▇▊▉▇ looked before she died, back in 2000. How can we be certain it’ll be ▉█▆▀▇ that wakes up?”

 

The voices sound distinctly familiar, but the details elude her.

 

The girl stirs from the covers. Eyes trying to make sense of the world around her. There’s a purple haze hanging over her peripheral vision, it makes her feel woozy.

 

The cold, dark metal walls of a cell. Her eyes widen and she shivers. No no no she doesn’t want to be here! The walls are closing in and gangly shadows creep up around her. She is dragged away—

 

When she reopens her eyes, the walls are sterile, stark white, sunlight pours through the windows like a warm blanket. Her hands loosen their grip on the covers.

 

She looks around, then freezes as the sight of the girl in her nightmares stares back at her from her reflection.

 

Purple hair. The image of the same girl she helped mother defeat. Her left eye is still blue, but her right has turned amber. There aren’t any markings over her eyes, but the image almost makes her choke on the bile rising in her throat.

 

This must be a dream, this isn’t her. This is her. She squeezes her eyes shut, hoping to wake up in her home, but the haze over her mind distorts the image. A snowy village. A school dorm.

 

Nothing makes sense. It’s like her mind has been broken into a million pieces, rearranged into a misshaped puzzle.

 

“You can’t delude yourself anymore, worm. Don’t you remember? I am you, and you are me.”

 

Liar… This isn’t real, the voice in her head must be part of this nightmare.

 

The door opens, and the world feels like it’s spinning. She feels her back against the wall, but she doesn’t remember leaving the bed. Uneven purple hair trimmings cling to her oversized jacket, and a pair of the scissors clatter on the floor.

 

There are people staring at her. Their faces are blurred in static, she's only able to make out the colour of their hair. Red, white, silver, and blue.

 

Stop staring.

 

STOP.

 

They’re going to put her back in a lab! She’s going to be dragged back into that hell she sees in her dreams.

 

She doesn’t want to go back!

 

They are saying words, but all she hears is the deafening thump of her own heartbeat and the droning buzz in her ears. It’s all too much for her to handle.

 

Silver’s eyes are like a hungry wolf looking for scraps in the snowfield.

 

White is hesitant, cautious. The girl remembers great clockwork gears in the darkened sky, dripping with ichor. A golden spear through the girl’s chest. There is a ghostly lance running through White’s torso, flickering in and out of existence, it isn’t there, but the girl can’t shake the phantom memory.

 

A ghost is screaming in her ears, demanding she take revenge for what those people did to them. To bring justice for █▆ ▉ ▊▆ , ▉ █▆ ▉ ▆▀ , ▆ ▉ ██▀▋ and █ ▉ ▊▀▆ .

 

It scolds her for forgetting, it hates her for throwing away everything for the embrace of a mother’s touch. It calls her a parasite, a vile remnant of their human heart.

 

It tells her that she does not deserve to be happy, that she destroys everything she touches.

 

Red is approaching her. Red’s figure is imposing, much taller than she remembers. Her hands are bandaged, and a scar runs over her blurry face.

 

The girl starts to curl up, making herself appear smaller. Her head is pounding, like a thousand flies are swarming around her as the memories of the past hours come rushing back.

 

She wants things to make sense again.

 

It hurts so much! Make it stop!

 

“Sugar, can you hear me?”

 

The ringing stops, leaving nothing but the buzz of the fluorescent lights and the sound of her breathing. Her vision clears. The others aren’t staring at her in contempt like she expected.

 

The voice screaming in her head is drowned out by a strange pitter patter echoing through her head, like the splashing of rain on an umbrella. She makes out white and red feathers falling softly.

 

The red-haired woman is reaching for her. Himeko is reaching for her. But the girl pulls away.

 

Everyone is hurt because of her.

 

Himeko brushes the girl’s hair away from her eyes. “Hey… it’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe now.” The woman pauses, “can you tell me your name?”

 

The girl opens her mouth to speak, but words don’t come out, only the guttural sound of her choking back tears.

 

“It’s okay, deep breathes…. Nod your head if you’re Kiana, shake your head if you’re not.”

 

Truthfully, she doesn’t know anymore. If she’s even allowed to call herself that. Not after having her world turned upside down.

 

She wants to back to when she didn’t remember being her, but that feels like an impossibility. She doesn’t even look like herself anymore.

 

Still, she nods her head, holding onto any semblance of familiarity.

 

Himeko pulls the girl into a hug, patting her back gently as the girl sobs in her arms. “Shh… It’s okay, sugar. Everything’s going to be okay.”

 

“*hic* auntie…”

 

Maybe the Herrscher had been right about her. Maybe they’ve always been part of the same person.

 

But she wasn’t the Herrscher that left that dreaded tower in the snow, but the scared little girl that entered it.

Chapter 2: Comfort

Summary:

Identity crisises aren't fun, but at least Kiana has auntie to comfort her.

Also Mei wakes up.

Notes:

I swear this was supposed to be a oneshot-

Chapter Text

The girl stares at the mirror, clutching a pair of scissors in her shaking hand. She raises the scissors to the wavy locks of purple hair at the front. After a few seconds of looking at herself, her courage falters and she averts her eyes, unable to stomach the girl staring back at her from the mirror.

 

Her blue and amber eyes are narrowed as she takes a deep breath. She turns back to the mirror, raises the scissors again. This time, she squeezes her eyes shut.

 

Snip, snip.

 

Strands of purple hair fall to the floor. When she opens her eyes, her hair now frames her face similarly to when her hair was white, though the chunks are messy and uneven from blindly cutting away her hair. It’s barely enough to ground her sense of self.

 

She stares at herself for a moment. Her back slides down the wall as she pulls on her hair with a frustrated groan.

 

To say she's having a bad day is an understatement.

 

All her clothes don’t quite fit her anymore. She can’t even go back to the comfort of her dorm room, as St. Freya is currently being evacuated due to the Far East branch being branded as traitors.

 

She can’t even leave the Hyperion as she’d risk being seen.

 

Her head has been flooded with memories she doesn’t want, taking several hours just to make sense of everything. She doesn’t even know if she can call herself by her name anymore, as the memories had shown her that she isn’t even the original, but a clone made to serve as a vessel for the Herrscher of the Void.

 

She has a good idea where her consciousness came from, and she doesn’t like it one bit. A reality that she doesn’t want to face.

 

She doesn’t even look like herself anymore.

 

So, who or what the hell is she?

 

A fucking trainwreck of a person, that’s what.

 

If she didn’t have all those new memories, she might’ve felt like she can deal with this form.

 

 

“Hey! Stop moving, you’ll mess up something!” Tesla growls, holding the empty needle in her right hand.

 

To get to the bottom of Kiana’s transformation, the scientists needed something to work with, namely, a blood sample. Now, according to her medical records, she’s had her blood drawn before, so she shouldn’t be so freaked out by something she’s already experienced.

 

But the (currently) Sirin-shaped girl has been apprehensive about even going anywhere near the Hyperion’s medbay. They only managed to convince her to take the blood test if someone else was in the room with her for moral support.

 

She’s like a timid version of the original Herrscher. Far less violent too. In a roundabout way, AE managed to recruit her 16 years after the Second Eruption. Welt would probably get a kick out of this if he was here.

 

Theresa is sitting beside the girl, holding her hand.

 

The purple-haired girl finally stops squirming, letting the red-haired scientist trace her bound left arm for a healthy vein. Her left arm is covered in patches of deathly white skin, an all too familiar pallor associated with Honkai infection. Odd… given her current body, shouldn’t she have inherited Sirin’s resistance?

 

A whimper escapes the girl’s lips as she feels the sting of the needle puncturing her skin. She squeezes Theresa’s hand, trying to calm herself. The fearful sniffles and murmurs soon fade after the scare wears off.

 

She doesn’t even realise the needle had been removed until the scientist taps her shoulder.

 

“All done now. See, it wasn’t that bad?”

 

The girl nods, though she understandably averts her eyes from the vial. She eagerly steps out of the chair after the skin where the needle entered was cleaned and bandaged—

 

Static fills her vision, followed by darkness.

 

 

Why?

 

Why is my vessel still here?!

 

This wasn’t supposed to happen!

 

That red-haired woman… she must’ve done something. What vile human tricks did she use?

 

 

Warmth is the first thing she feels when her consciousness returns.

 

How long has she been asleep?

 

There are dark spots at the edges of her static-filled vision as she opens her eyes. After a while, it clears a little bit, but remains incredibly blurry.

 

From what she can make out, she’s being enveloped in the warm embrace of someone’s arms. She feels the fluffy texture of a blanket on her skin. Also, a purple haze of hair that she’s too tired to bother acknowledging.

 

The walls vaguely remind her of that blasted tower, though they’re a little too bright in comparison to those cold metal walls… does that mean everything has been nothing more than a terrible nightmare?

 

She’s… not sure. It hurts when she tries to think. Her eyes haven’t adjusted to her surroundings, so she can’t confirm anything. Her name… it’s S— no, no, that’s not her name… wait, no, it’s Kia—, right?

 

Names are hard.

 

“Mhh…” she murmurs, shifting over to make herself comfortable. The embrace feels familiar… she’s felt it before in an old dream. “…five more minutes, mom…” the girl grumbles. What’s she doing outside of her bedroom anyways? She’s not ready for another shopping trip.

 

A woman laughs lightly, petting the girl’s head, “that’s a new one.”

 

What is she talking about?

 

She squints, not understanding the woman’s words. She can’t make out the details of the woman’s face. “Your… hair is white, right?”

 

More laughter.

 

Is it something she said?

 

…

 

The gears in her head start turning.

 

Wait, mom can’t be here? The girl has only seen her in her dreams.

 

Red hair. Yellow eyes.

 

Oh.

 

Oh.

 

Heat creeps up her face as her mind clears.

 

Kia groans, trying to pull on the laces of her hoodie to cover the flush on her face, but she doesn’t have enough space to pull the hood over. Her left arm aches with a dull pain when she tries to move it.

 

“Finally awake, sleepyhead?” Himeko smiles, “you gave us quite the scare.”

 

“What do you mean?” the girl keeps her voice low, so she doesn’t have to hear it too much. She doesn’t like how it sounds, why it feels like its hers when it shouldn’t.

 

“Sugar, you collapsed after the test and hit your head. Are you feeling alright? Nothing scrambled?”

 

Right… the blood test. The girl had to fight her own body to even step into the room.

 

“Don’t think so…” she mumbles, the girl feels faint, but that’s likely due to having less blood in her system, “...why are you hugging me?”

 

“After everything that’s happened, I thought that you needed it,” Himeko explains, “do you want me to stop?”

 

“N-No… don’t.”

 

To Himeko, it’s unusual to see her student so vulnerable, so… quiet. Kiana returned to the others changed, not just physically. It’s clear from Theresa’s observations earlier that some of the Herrscher’s personality has bled into the girl, thankfully she hasn’t inherited any of the Herrscher’s hatred.

 

The girl nestled in her arms still seems to prefer being called Kiana, though if she happens to change her mind, the former teacher wouldn’t be opposed to that.

 

The redhead strokes the girl’s hair, and to her surprise, elicits a soft coo from the girl.

 

It doesn’t take long before the purple-haired girl falls asleep again. She’s certainly gotten a lot more needy.

 

The peaceful quiet goes on for about… 30 minutes, until one of the Anti-Entropy scientists decides to walk in.

 

The blue-haired woman clears her throat, “miss Raiden is awake.”

 

Before Himeko can even get a chance to say her thanks for being notified, the girl in her arms snaps awake, practically tumbling out from the hug and breaking into a sprint.

 

“Hey—! Don’t run, you’re still…” and she’s already out the door, “recovering...”

 

Some things never change.

 

 

“Uhm… hi?” a confused Mei greets the strange purple-haired girl that’s currently hugging her for no apparent reason.

 

Mei had just woken up after recovering from her injuries. She learnt that the Herrscher has been defeated and that Kiana has been brought back to the Hyperion, though she apparently came back a little different. The doctors didn’t elaborate, but Mei assumes that they meant she’s shaken up over the Herrscher’s rampage.

 

Then as soon as Mei left the medbay, a girl she doesn’t recognise almost bowled her over.

 

The front of the girl’s hair is styled vaguely like Kiana’s, she even has the same curly strand sticking out the right, though her hair is messy and uneven. Whoever cut this girl’s hair clearly hasn’t done a good job. Droopy tufts of hair poke out from the side of her head like a pair of sad cat ears.

 

The girl is wearing an awfully familiar hooded jacket that looks a bit too big on her.

 

She’s sniffling. Poor thing isn’t very talkative and doesn’t respond when Mei asks her what’s wrong.

 

For some reason, Mei feels compelled to lift her up and hug her. Perhaps that vague sense of familiarity Mei feels when she looks at her.

 

The purple-haired girl yelps in surprise, and then… calms down within mere seconds. There’s a low rumbling sound, almost like a purr.

 

Now that she can get a look at the girl, she catches sight of the white and orange stars of a familiar battlesuit on the girl’s thighs, peeking halfway under the bottom of the jacket.

 

Strange.

 

 

“Major. Where’s Kiana?” The raven-haired girl asks, all the while holding a certain someone in her arms.

 

Himeko almost chokes on her water, as she’s been (unfortunately) banned from alcohol for a month. Right, Mei just woke up, so Kiana’s situation hasn’t been explained to her.

 

Said ‘missing’ girl in question looks very content.

 

“You’re holding her.”

 

…

 

“What?”

 

Before the stunned Valkyrie can ask for explanations, the purple-haired girl in her arms starts coughing—

 

Clink.

 

Did she just cough up a Herrscher Gem?

 

The purple gem shimmers, dissolving.

 

And now the raven-haired Valkyrie has horns.

 

Himeko wishes she had a beer right now.

Chapter 3: Healing

Summary:

Himeko sighs, “You’re brooding again, aren’t you.”

“…am not.”

“Yes you are, it’s written all over your face."

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Nightmares are, unfortunately, nothing new. Kiana had a few of them back at St. Freya, well before the Herrscher’s awakening. She would never talk about them, pretending nothing happened. She doesn’t do that anymore; she can’t do it anymore.

 

The latest nightmare was particularly visceral. An amalgamation of her own memories and Sirin’s, even if the distinction between them has blurred. She’s certainly not in a rush to return to it, so that leaves her buried face first into her pillow. After a while, she tosses around, facing the ceiling.

 

Her left arm doesn’t hurt when she raises it to cover her eyes. Ever since she… coughed up the Gem of Conquest a week ago, there has been notable improvements to her health. The infected skin on her left arm has reduced a little, taking on a healthier complexion. Turns out this new body of hers simply couldn’t handle the excess energy being generated by those stupid rocks inside her.

 

She can still hear the Herrscher’s voice. She’s still there… waiting. It’s… faint, weak. The Herrscher doesn’t sound very happy.

 

Sometimes, when the voice starts to become louder, it’s quickly drowned out by a soft feathery sound. There definitely aren’t any birds in the base, so she must be imagining things.

 

Somehow, the Herrscher’s lack of absence is both terrifying and reassuring. The latter because it means Kiana is still herself in some capacity. Even if she doesn’t look like herself.

 

…why do the others even bother with her? She’s done nothing right and has only gotten in the way.

 

It’s hard for her to even look her friends in the eyes without feeling like she’s deceiving them. Maybe she has deceived herself, and simply hasn’t noticed it. What if they are only tolerating her because she doesn’t pose an immediate threat to them?

 

After everything that’s happened, maybe it would be better if she disappeared.

 

There’s a sudden weight on the bed, and a hand strokes the girl’s purple hair, gently.

 

“Kiana, are you alright?” That’s… Himeko’s voice. She must’ve heard the miserable whimpering coming from Kiana’s room and went to check on her.

 

The purple-haired girl grumbles.

 

Himeko sighs, “You’re brooding again, aren’t you.”

 

“…am not.”

 

“Yes you are, it’s written all over your face."

 

All the girl does is mumble feebly. “Sorry…”

 

“Don’t apologise. You haven’t done anything wrong.” Himeko reassures. “What’s been upsetting you?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“It doesn’t sound like nothing. What’s wrong?”

 

“I… I don’t belong here.” Kiana grips her blankets tightly.

 

“Don’t say that, sugar.”  Himeko brushes the girl’s hair out of her eyes. “I know that things have been hard on us… on you especially, but it’ll pass. No one blames you for what happened, and they don’t think less of you. We’re here for you, okay?”

 

Do you really mean it?” Kiana asks quietly.

 

“I promise. How about we go see the others?”

 

The girl mumbles indecisively.

 

“...” Himeko says nothing as she lifts her out of bed.

 

“Hey— Put me down!”

 

“Can’t do, Sugar. You’re coming with me.”

 

The purple-haired girl whines and struggles for a bit, though she eventually quietens down.

 

 

The halls of the AE base are brighter than the place in her dreams, much more bearable to look at.

 

While Kia is comfortable being carried, it means she can't hide away. It's not like she has a choice.

 

They make it to what appears to be a living room of sorts, at least, something close to it. She hears hushed voices and immediately buries her face in Himeko’s shoulder.

 

Something clatters to the floor. “Argh… almost had it.” A frustrated woman grumbles. One of the scientists.

 

“Please stop this… I don’t think it's going to work.” Mei’s voice can be heard nearby.

 

The purple-haired girl opens her eyes to see Tesla attaching jumper cables to Mei’s new horns like she’s a living car battery. The cables leading to some red, ridiculous looking robot.

 

Theres a lot to unpack here. At this point, Kia has been let out of Himeko’s arm, confusion entirely overtaking her anxiety.

 

What are they doing?

 

“Subject Tesla’s robot stopped working, so she’s trying to restart it.” Bronya explains, having appeared from…. somewhere. “She insisted on using it as a makeshift projector for tonight, instead of the fully operational TV, then it broke down. She’s been at it for hours.”

 

“…Why?” Kiana asks quietly, so she doesn’t feel too disoriented by the sound of her voice.

 

“Movie night. We were going to ask you if you wanted to join us, but you never responded to our messages.”

 

She’s been so preoccupied with the idea they didn’t trust her anymore, that she never noticed that they’ve been trying to contact her the whole time…

 

Kiana’s been worrying over nothing. That’s… a relief.

 

“Also, the doctors have an idea on fixing your body.”

 

“Huh? What is it?” That wouldn’t solve the awful memories she’s inherited, which is arguably the main cause of her problems, but it would be nice to have her old body back—

 

“They proposed blasting you with the Selene to recreate the incident.”

 

The colour drains from Kia’s face. Isn’t that the laser they hit the Herrscher with? She remembers it feeling like she was being boiled alive. That doesn’t sound safe at all!

 

“No way! Absolutely not!” Definitely not worth it.

 

“The Bronya is joking. There wouldn’t be anything left to fix, and no one to play games with.”

 

“That’s just mean…”

 

“Aha!” The red-haired scientist cheers as the robot turns on.

 

Then it promptly bursts into flames, followed by a disgruntled screech.

 

 

It’s only two hours into the movie and Kia can barely keep her eyes open. There were a few hiccups during the start, lingering feelings of dread, but she has managed to keep herself relatively calm.

 

Despite everything, no one is treating her like a stranger. Of course, it’s impossible to pretend that nothing’s changed, that’s for sure. But at least she can let her guard down and relax.

 

She’s slowly drifting, unable to stop herself from leaning on the raven-haired girl beside her, who gently combs through her hair.

 

Eventually, she falls asleep, surrounded by the people she holds dear.

 

Even if her troubles haven’t been resolved. Right now, this is enough. That’s all she cares about.

Notes:

It might be a short little conclusion, but I had fun writing this.