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The first time Sakura saw her Papa cry was October 22, 4:29 PM, the first time they came home with him forever gone.
It was a loud wail that came from her fathers' room. A room of which holds more memories than she does. The door was slightly open, she peeks,
Her Papa was holding a bottle of alcohol while staring blurrily at the window where stormy clouds show.
It takes her back to the day they were playing at the park; Papa was watching them while humming a simple song, Dad was reading a novel, Kosuke was listening to music, Katsumi and Yu were playing ball, Shinji was reading a book next to Dad. She was sitting on Papa's lap while he braided her hair over and over again.
That was a fun time, it happened when she was twelve years old. Kosuke was preparing to leave for college, Katsumi just won a game yesterday, Yu won the battle on his favorite game that he's been struggling with, Shinji found the book he was hunting for for years.
She can recall a lot of her parents' date nights, they'd always somehow being something back for them five. Papa's siblings would usually babysit them, sometimes a bit strict. Sakura had always adored their relationship, always wishing that she'd had the same one as well, Dad would always assure her she would, maybe not at that age which didn't make sense since they met when they were eight years old. She grew up particularly close with both. Sakura remembers all of the fights they would have, most of the time making up because Sakura talks too much, and it'd always end with them cuddling in the living room.
Sakura can recall a lot of memories of her family, she could be a camera or something at some point, but she barely remember memories of herself, if she's to be honest.
The deafening cries of the storm broke her away from her thoughts. What a shame. She wishes she could go back in time. When he was still holding her closely to his shoulder, or when he has to bend down a little when she holds his hand at the mall.
Oh wait, this is just a dream, right?
Just a dream, she'll wake up to a Friday morning by Dad, the smell of pancakes and bacon that Papa is cooking reaches her bedroom. She has two tests coming up, which Kosuke helped her study for. Dad would drive them to school while talking about anything. Her brothers would usually stay silent by them, occupied with the problems of growing teenagers. They would talk about everything; if they have plans for the weekend, usually none or that they'd go out for dinner, school stuff, how her social life was at school, her classmates who annoys her or her classmates who are annoyed by her, and most importantly and likely the most frequently talked about, Papa.
But she can barely hear her thoughts through the pouring rain.
This is a nightmare
That became her life.
Sakura looks into their room again and saw Papa passed out, probably from screaming and crying too much, probably from drinking alcohol, probably from losing the love of his life, probably from the exhaustion of life itself.
She enters the room and forcefully but carefully drags Papa into their bed, he misses the familiar weight of his lover on the other side. She tucks him in with the blanket that is slowly losing his scent.
She goes to her childhood room and cries and wishes she could wake up from this nightmare. Wishes that it is all just a figment of her imagination. Wishes that God wasn't doing this to her and her family this day, cause they aren't ready yet. They'll never be ready.
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Sakura Nakahara dreams of her father for the seventh time of this week,
It was the only place where they could meet, the only place they would be complete again.
She awakes when she notices her door opening and a figure walking towards her. It was Papa,
"Goodnight, Sakura, I hope you have sweeter dreams than mine." he whispers as he kisses her forehead and tucks her blanket.
Dad may not be with them anymore, but Papa is here. That's all that can help her right now.