Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Wait, wait, wait, so let me get this straight, you want me and my workers to go out and kill a single human so your kid will take your job?” Blitzo asked, looking at his client.

“Hm? Oh yeah she hangs with a lot of immortals so the human is really the only one you can kill without angelic weapons” The tall gray man said leaning back in the guest chair and placing his feet on Blitzo’s desk which he quickly shoved off.

“So anything else we need to know about this kid?” Blitzo asked.

“He and his dog are strong fighters. It'll be tough but I heard good things about your workers so I think you two should be able to handle it.” The man sighed, “I also don’t want my daughter to find out about this, if she does spot you please don’t say I was the one behind this we already have a bad relationship and I don’t want to make it worst” 

“Ughh why does he have to be so far from all the others?” Loona asked as she scented the name of the human.

“Who cares about that when there’s a potentially massive reward. He looked pretty rich. Who knows how many souls we can get from him!” Blitzo said as they continued on to where the human lived.

The group remained quiet, Loona and Blitzo taking the lead as Millie and Moxxie stayed behind.

“Hey Mox, I've been wanting to ask you something,” Millie said to her husband.

“What is it Mills?” Moxxie asked while looking at his wife as he fiddled with his gun.

“Well I was wondering-” Millie started before being cut off.

“Can you two love birds stay focused? We’re almost there” Loona said, pointing to a giant tree.

“He lives in a tree?” Mox remarked looking at it.

“Let’s burn it, get it done and over with I’m tried” Blitzo remarked before noticing he didn’t have a lighter and let out a sigh, “Okay I’m going to trust you and give you some code words so listen very carefully”

“Hey Jake?”

“Yeah Finn?”

“You remember how it felt when Simion was staring at us in that horse costume?” 

“Yup”

“Do you feel that again now or is it just me?”

“I feel it to”

“Welp time to see what it is,” Finn said with a sigh, getting out of bed and leaving his robotic arm on the nightstand, Jake followed getting out of his own bed to try and investigate what or who was staring at them.

“Nothing staring out this window” Jake said looking out the same window where Simon dressed as a horse was staring before.

“Nothing out of this one either” Finn said checking another window, they checked all the windows and everywhere else that someone could be staring out of from the outside and found nothing, granted they could go outside to do a deeper search but they were too tired to do so.

The two went back to bed but the feeling was still there and now there was an addition of creaking floorboards and soft scratching.

“You hear that as well?” Jake asked.

“Yup” Finn said as he grabbed his prosthetic arm and put it on as well as grabbing his sword.

“You think we need those?” Jake asked, “it could just be a small animal or something”

“Probably not but I have a bad feeling about this” Jake said as he went closer to where the noise was coming from.

He braced himself, it was coming from a small cabinet a person couldn’t fit in there comfortably but Finn was still nervous as he opened the cabinet up and they weren’t for nothing.

He was met with bright yellow and red eyes that were glowing lightly, they didn’t blink staring back at him, he couldn’t really see much, most of the body being curled up in weird ways inside the cabinet. They stared at each other for a moment not really knowing what to do.

“SHOOT!” The creature yelled out his voice being loud.

“What?!” Jake and Finn looked around ready to fight whatever was there.

“Don’t worry just a codeword” The creature said, getting Finn and Jake’s attention again as they looked at it.

“Code for what?” Jake asked.

“For Moxxie to shoot you, seems like it’s taking him a sec hang on one teensy tiny moment please” The man said as he pulled his top half out of the cabinet, “MOX I TOLD YOU TO BE READY!”

As he yelled out it was as if it was on cue when a bullet came flying in barely missing the three, it landed right by the massive horns of the thing.

“Seriously Mox?! When I said shoot I meant at them you almost gave me a new hole!” He yelled out trying to get the rest of his body out of the cabinet and quickly fell to the ground face first, right as he fell another small red creature with smaller horns carrying a massive ax and a much taller wolf burst through the door looking like they were ready to kill Finn and Jake.

Which was quickly proven to be their motive as well when they ran up, the wolf girl trying to bite Finn and the small red horned girl trying to cut Jake with her ax, the two barely managed to dodge as they were ready to fight.

“Now can we get this over with and you just die? That guy looked like a rich overlord and I want a tip so go ahead and die!” The first demon said, pulling out a gun.

“Wait an overlord?” The one with the ax asked.

“Yes, overlord, why do you care?”

“Want to know how clean I should decapitate them” The red girl said with a laugh as she ran over to the two with her ax in hand and swung barely missing the two as they ducked down at the last possible second.

“Hey old lady take some notes on how it’s done” The wolf girl said as she jumped onto Finn who pulled his sword up so she couldn't bite into his skull and tear his head off his body.

“Get off of my brother!” Jake yelled out making his hands large to push the wolf girl’s body off of Jake.

“Loony! Oh you’re going to pay for that” The first one said as he pointed his gun to the two and started firing the only one hitting was on Finn’s hat, “Mox get over here and help us!”

“Sir I’m pretty sure that human is a kid” The last one said as he came through a window.

“I’m sixteen” Finn remarked, seeming to focus on the wrong part of this.

“Mox'' as Finn guessed, just made a gesture to him to show his point which made Finn blush with embarrassment.

“Six, sixteen, sixty, who gives a crap our client wants him dead we’ll make sure he dies” 

“Come on we’ve got to get out of here dude!” Jake yelled out as he grabbed Finn’s arm and started to run towards the window Mox came out of, one being in front of their exit one person trying to kill them while getting out was much easier then three.

Mox had his gun raised as he saw the two run past him, Mox looked into their eyes for a split second then the gun, he was able to shoot them, but he didn’t. 

The two ran to the candy kingdom as fast as they could not realizing the people who were trying to kill them weren’t following.

“Hey Mox,” The tallest of the red ones said with a grin.

“Y-yes sir?” Mox said as he walked up to the others.

“You’re lucky you’re the best with the disguises or else I’d kick you out of this mission.”

“Right, I'll get them ready at once!”

Chapter Text

“Wait, so not only did a creature manage to sneak into the treehouse, have others that tried to kill you, had some kind of “client”, but didn’t follow you two when you were running away?” Princess Bubblegum asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah I know it sounds weird but yeah that’s what happened” Finn said as he sipped his hot chocolate.

“Don’t worry Finn I trust you, plus the bullet hole through your hat is pretty decent proof” Princess Bubblegum said pointing to Finn’s hat.

“Oh yeah I forgot about that” Finn remarked as he took another sip of his hot chocolate.

The room remained silent, that was until peppermint butler came running in.

“Princess Bubblegum, another princess is here to see you!” He said as he opened the door.

“Hm, I don't recall scheduling anything with the other princesses, no matter let us go and see what she wants,” Princess Bubblegum said as she stood up, Finn and Jake following closely behind her.

The group were stunned when they walked outside and saw the princess with three others, none of them they recognized. 

“Oh my god! You must be Princess Bubblegum, I’m Princess Moxxine! It is such a pleasure to meet you!” Princess Moxxine said, walking up to Bubblegum and shook her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you as well princess Moxxine, if it is not too much to ask where did you and your people come from? I don’t recognize them anywhere from Ooo” Princess bubblegum said with a smile as she looked at the others.

“Oh um we’re from an island um Horny island! Yeah um we’re um hornies…? Oh and Loona the human as well but mainly just hornies” Moxxine said with sweat coming down as she pulled on her necklace.

“Wowww thanks for making me feel so loved” Loona said, rolling her eyes.

Finn looked at her. It wasn't too long ago when he had seen another human here, maybe it was some kind of sign. She wore a black crop top and black shorts, she had a wolf hat on and her white hair was sticking out. She saw Finn staring and showed her teeth which had sharp canines, Finn looked away as the others started to introduce themselves.

“I’m Millerd, I’m Moxxine’s personal knight and boyfriend!” Millerd said with a smile as she looked at Moxxine, love in her eyes.

The last one who was wearing clone makeup let out a groan, “Blitzo,” He sighed, “royal clown,” He only seemed to smile while looking at Loona, “and this is my beautiful and amazing daughter Loona and if you dare lay a finger on her I will kill you”

The group was quiet for a moment before Moxxine let out a laugh before Millerd let out a small giggle.

“Oh wow Blitzo you are so funny! Oh um that’s just classic Horny humor!” Moxxine said with a smile that Finn couldn’t really tell if it was because she was embarrassed or actually enjoying this.

“If you don’t mind me asking what brought you and the others to Ooo?” Princess Bubblegum asked.

“Oh we actually don’t plan on coming here, we were on a boat and were looking at the view of our island and then suddenly this massive storm came and we washed up here! We were hoping we could stay with you?” Moxxine asked while looking up at princess bubblegum who was much taller than her.

“Oh of course! Come I will show you the guest rooms where you can stay!” She said, leading them back into the castle, Finn and Jake followed, staying close to the guests.

“Hey funny man, tell me a joke I’m bored” Jake said to Blitzo the clown.

“My life” Blitzo stated with a frown.

“Oh”

Finn kept staring at Loona, seeming to be amazed that she’s even here or even exists.

“What you looking at?” She asked, him not even turning to face him.

“Oh well it’s just I haven’t met basically any humans you’re like one of the very few I meet here!” Finn said walking up next to Loona so they would be walking side by side now.

“Who?” Loona asked, looking down at him.

“Oh well there’s my dad and s-”

“Asked,” She said with a smile.

Finn frowned and looked on the ground, was this what one of the only other humans were like? Some lady who’s just rude and doesn't think how others feel?

“Oh um, so are there any other humans on your island?” Finn asked, looking up at her still trying to break her shell open.

“Nope just me” She stated once again not looking at him.

Finn was about to say something else when Blitzo came up to the two of them.

“Hey you better not be trying to date her and if you are oh I’ll beat you up to the point you be wishing for me to kill you!” Blitzo growled out standing between Finn and Loona.

“Woah sorry man I was just trying to talk to her” Finn exclaimed putting his hands up.

“Yeah well it starts off with talking and ends with the two of you waking up next to each other in bed!” Blitzo exclaimed, staring at Finn.

“Like a sleepover?” Finn asked, tilting his head.

Blitzo stared at him for a second, “like sex”

Finn looked at Jake and whispered to him, “what's sex?”

“Oh my haha looks like we’re at the guest rooms!” Princess Bubblegum exclaimed, overhearing Finn’s question, as she opened the door .

“Oh my this room is like soooo fab!” Moxxine stated as she entered the decently sized guest room.

“I’m glad you like it, you all each have your own room and can stay as long as you need to” Princess Bubblegum stated, wearing a smile on her face.

“Yo princess what you’ve got to eat here?” Loona asked while eyeing a banana guard.

“Oh why we eat candy of course!” Princess Bubblegum said, still smiling.

“Right the candy people eat candy,” Loona said as she looked at Bubblegum.

Moxxine noticed something in the window and against her better judgment decided something was flying in the sky and decided to head to the window to get a closer look.

“Uh hey is a like blue and white thing flying through the air like normal here?” She asked, still looking at it.

“Blue and white flying thing…” Finn thought for a second, “That’s Simon princess watch out!”

Finn ran up to Moxxine and tried to protect her from being kidnapped but it was too late and Simon grabbed her and was flying away to the ice kingdom with her.

The room was silent before Millerd finally said something.

“Do any of you know where he took her?” he asked, staring at the ground.

“Yeah we’re pretty used to this, come on you can come with us to get her back!” Finn said excitedly.

He nodded his head there was a fire in his eyes, he was more than determined to get his princess back.

Chapter Text

Moxxine was kicking and screaming the whole time while “Simon” was bringing her to the king’s ice castle, she was actually decently surprised that this man didn’t drop her. Eventually they ended up at his castle and the ice king threw her into a cell made out of ice. 

“Man haven’t done this in ages feels good to be back in the game!” He said as he gave a small stretch.

“I- wha-” The princess let out.

“Man can’t believe it took me so long to get a princess to marry me” he said under his voice but was still loud enough for princess Moxxine to hear.

“You want to marry me?!?” Moxxine yelled out her voice sounding different as she ran up to the bars getting as close to him as possible.

“Wow how you guessed?” He asked, tilting his head.

“I-” Moxxine sighed, “we can’t get married!”

“Why not?” Simon asked.

“Well in the first place I’m married!” Moxxine stated, showing her wedding ring.

“Doesn't matter,” Simon remarked, brushing that off.

“I kill people, I kill people all the time!” Moxxine said sweating now.

“I don’t care,” He stated.

“Well I have a terrible past, I was born into the Mafia and I’m also a hitman”  Moxxine said dramatically.

“I forgive you” The man holding her captive said with a smile on his face.

“I can never have children” Moxxine admitted that one being a lot less intense.

“We can adopt some” He stated as he grabbed two penguins and held them by his side.

“But you don’t understand,” Moxxine sighed, “I’m a man” He said, no longer doing a feminine voice.

“Nobody’s perfect!” 

“I-” Was all Moxxie could let out before a penguin came flying in.

“Gunter why do people keep telling you that you can fly and why do you keep believing them?!” Simon asked, facing the penguin that came flying that was stuck in the ice.

The only response was more penguins flying towards him. He realized quickly that someone wasn’t telling them they could fly no they were throwing them, this was an attack.

“Who thinks they can defeat I the ice king?!” Simon or Ice King Moxxie didn’t really know yelled out as he summoned ice from his hands.

There was no vocal response at least at first, another penguin was thrown at him this time hitting him stunning him temporarily, Moxie could hear the sound of running on the ice. A small red figure came running being faster than any of the man’s magic, it jumped up and pulled a sword out as it was growing. It pounced on him as the crown fell, raising the sword they were about to stab his head they started to bring down the sword.

“Millerd! Wait!” Finn called out as he ran up Jake following close behind.

“Woah dude calm down he’s powerless without his crown!” Jake told him as he formed his hand to pick Millerd up.

Millerd hissed and slapped the hand but still got off the ice king and ran up to the ice cell where Moxxie was, he grabbed two of the ice bars and effortlessly pulled them off the rest of the ice castle letting him go to Moxxie and hug him.

“Millie!” Moxxie said as his wife hugged him before he coughed, “I mean Millerd” She laughed as she hugged him back.

Millerd picked her up with a smile on his face as he looked up to the Ice King who was still on the ground.

“This ass is mine,” was all he said as he smacked her behind and walked off his tail, flicking the crown even farther away from the Ice King. 

“Hey we’ll meet up with the two of you in  a sec, we’re gonna talk to Simon for a minute.” Finn said, pointing back to the very scared Simon.

Millerd nodded as he carried Moxxine out of the castle before sitting down on a piece of ice placing his lover next to him.

“Mox you’ve got to be more careful! This is the second time this month that you’ve been kidnapped and were being forced to marry someone!” Millie stated, letting her disguise drop.

“I know Mills, I didn’t expect to get kidnapped nor that guy to try and marry me,” Moxxie told her.

Millie sighed, “We need to be perfect for this mission, which means getting a “bond” with that human and dog, killing them in surprise, and leaving, we can’t risk being caught the longer we’re here!” Millie reminded him.

“I know, I know, but think on the bright side you were able to grow a closer bond with the kid and dog!” Moxxie remarked thinking of the bright side.

“Mox I told you, you can’t think of him as a kid, you get emotional and it’s harder for you to kill,” Millie reminded him, placing her hand onto his.

“It’s kinda hard when you know he’s sixteen and is just so happy for life, I-I feel bad with killing anyone young heck I feel bad killing people who are innocent the only reason I helped with the mutilation of that one kid was because he was being an ass!” Moxxie confessed to her.

 “Don’t worry Mox I’m sure we’ll find something on them to get you to kill them. Maybe they attack random people, or maybe they take so long talking to some kidnapper that anyone who comes with them freezes to death!” Millie laughed with how long they’re taking, “Man they should be back soon, I want to see what happened to Loona.”

“Wait, what did she do?” Moxxie asked with a smile on his face.

“Oh you’ll never believe it!” Millie said with a small laugh thinking back to it.

“She did her job for once?” Moxxie asked, not believing she even could.

“I didn’t say she did a miracle,” Mills said with a deadpan face before she smiled again, “so she was asking that princess what they ate and she said candy, so shorty after you got kidnapped but before me and the hits left she got hungry and tried to EAT one of those banana people!” she said while laughing.

“Really what happened afterwards?!” Mox asked, wanting to know more.

“Well the princess got angry at her and started yelling at her then Blitzo stepped in and started yelling at the princess and we decided that was a good time to leave.” Millie remarked with a smile.

“Classic Blitzo, guess princess Moxxine will have to deal with her subjects and tell them to stop eating people” Moxxie said with a giggle as Finn and Jake came out of the ice castle.

“Hey dudes sorry it took a sec Simon’s having one of his bad days, Jake’s going to stretch you two back to the candy kingdom while we hang with him for the day” Finn remarked pointing to Jake.

“Wait what?!” Moxxie said letting his natural voice slip with the people their trying to kill, “I mean are you sureee you two have to hang out with a kidnapper instead of you knowing going back to the candy kingdom and showing us everywhere we should go and what not?” Moxxine asked using her feminine voice again as she stood up her hooves gently touching the ice ground.

“Nah man Simon’s not doing well today heck I don’t even remember the last time he kidnapped a princess, we’re gonna hang with him besides I know PB will be more than happy to show you around the Candy Kingdom she did make it after all!” Jake remarked standing their ground.

“Hey Mil think we can talk to each other for a sec in uh private?” Moxxine asked, turning to her lover, who gave a small nod.

They went to the side, their hooves clicking against the ground quietly as Moxxie sighed.

“Mils I think we should stay, not only can we get closer to them but we could also find out more about this place, we never had a hit on a human in Ooo always that island this could come in handy in the future” Moxie said to her.

“Honey,” she gently placed her hand on her husband’s cheeks, “he kidnapped you and was going to try and marry you!”

“I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, besides worst case scenario you can just beat his ass again,” Mox said with a smile as he held Millie’s hands.

“Okay but in return, I think we should have some fun in bed tonight~” Millie whispered into Moxxie’s ear.

He nodded and took a deep breath in and then out, he put on the Princess Moxxine personal again as she held her boyfriend’s hand and walked towards the front of the castle where Finn and Jake were waiting for them.

“Heyyyy so like instead of you know bringing us back to the candy kingdom could we actually stay here and like hang out with Simon? I know he kidnapped me but he seemed like soooo lonely!” 

“I mean sure but weren’t you wanting us to ignore him just a minute ago?” Jake asked, looking at the princess suspiciously.

“I uh changed my mind after me and Millerd talked you know” Moxxine stated, with a big, bright, and fake smile on her face.

“Hm okay makes sense,” Finn remarked as he walked through the door to the ice castle the other three following close behind him, “hey simonnnnnn what the math-”

They saw as the Ice King wore the horse costume he used to watch Finn and Jake that one time as he was kissing someone else who was also in a horse costume, Finn remembered the red skin, white part around his eye, and the birth mark on his head he had put two to two together.

“YOU’RE THE GUY WHO TRIED TO KILL ME AND JAKE!” Finn yelled out pointing to him.

Chapter Text

“Wait what? I don’t know if I really want to do this if you tried-” Ice King started before being cut off.

“Don’t worry bout that it was uh daddy’s brother…?” The red creature stated.

“Then why do you two look the exactly the same?!” Jake yelled at him.

“What can’t be identical triplets now?!” He asked, finally placing his hands off of the Ice King and onto his hips.

“Wait, who's the other one? Is he also trying to kill us?” Finn asked, looking at the creature in the horse costume.

“She’s my sister and she’s back on Horny island and my brother is the only assassin in our family thank you very much!” He remarked looking upset that they would even think of the possibility.

“Wait, your voice sounds familiar, are you sure we haven’t met you before?” Jake asked, trying to crack him.

“Oh you probably meet my younger brother Blitzo yeah he has the O pronounced in his name Blitzø pronounced with a silent o,” Blitzø stated placing his hand out before quickly taking it back, “Actually you probably shouldn’t knowing where that hand has been.”

“Wait, wait, how did you even get inside here? You weren’t here when I was kidnapped and I don’t recall seeing anyone come inside,” Princess Moxxine asked, looking at Blitzø actually being confused.

“Yeah I followed you here and was originally going to watch you and Millerd but after seeing this hunk of ice I wanted to get in on some action once you guys left!” Blitzø stated, putting his arm around Ice King’s shoulders.

“Wait if you were here the whole time then where were you hiding?” Finn asked, also being very interested.

“Up there,” Blitzø said, pointing to the ceiling where there were marks from him when he was hanging upside down with his surprisingly powerful claws.

“Huh” was all that Finn could let out as he looked up.

“Yeah, yeah now daddy’s trying to have his fun so why don’t yall see yourselves out… unless you’re the kinda freaks who likes this kinda stuff,” Blitzø said as he leaned on the Ice King.

“Yeah nope we’re leaving,” Jake said as he and the others turned around and left the castle.

The group walked outside and started to walk back to the candy kingdom before hearing screaming coming from the Ice castle.

“Simon he could be in danger!” Finn yelled out as he grabbed his sword and started to run back to the castle.

“FINN WAIT YOU DON’T WANT TO-” It was too late for Jake to yell at his brother to turn back, Finn had reached the door and opened it, he remained still for a moment before closing the door and walking back with his eyes wide and no trace of his once bright smile.

“Heyyyy buddyyy you okay?” Jake asked in a quiet voice as he put his hand on Finn’s back.

“I-I don’t know” Was all Finn could respond with as he stared at the ground being clearly traumatized by this experience.

“Hey how bout I just stretch up back to the candy kingdom mkay?” Jake said quietly, Finn nodded and so Jake picked everyone up and stretched them to the Candy Kingdom.

“There you are I’m so glad you all could return back safely,” Princess Bubblegum stated as she walked up to them.

“Y-yeah safely” Finn muttered out, “hey PB me and Jake are going back to the treehouse, we’ll see you tomorrow,” 

Millerd jumped off of Jake first before holding his hand out and helping Princess Moxxine get off him as well before Jake and Finn left. 

“Well then I suppose I shall tell you what Loona did today,” Princess Bubblegum stated, Moxxine already knowing, “She tried to eat multiple of the candy citizens, they’re all scared of her now.”

“OH my god no! I shall speak to her about this. I'm like so sorry that she did that!” Princess Moxxine remarked holding back laughs that she so wanted to let out.

“Please do so, now it is getting late we should probably retrieve back to our beds” Princess Bubblegum stated as she entered the castle.

“Trust me today has just started for me and this beauty” Millerd let out as he held princess Moxxine close to him letting out a soft purr.

The whole candy kingdom was scared that night, scared of the evil hungry human who had tried to eat multiple of them even being able to take a bite out of a few of them, and the strange almost yelling sounds coming from the candy castle sounds they haven’t heard before. Only princess Bubblegum decided to look, it was at that moment she decided to take the next step at becoming a better ruler for her people, knocking on doors with strange sounds behind them. She also learned in just a few seconds how violent these “hornies” could be and how they lived up to their name as well.

“Don’t worry dude some hot chocolate and meatloaf should make you feel better” Jake said as he cooked up some meatloaf with one hand and the other prepared hot chocolate for them.

“What happened to Finn?” Bmo asked as they sat by Finn.

“I learned what sex is,” He said quietly, fear filling his voice.

“Who told you?!” Bmo demanded to know.

“Not told, saw” Finn revealed to him as Jake gave him a cup of hot chocolate, “I heard them screaming so I wanted to help, I saw one using knives but in a way I can’t even describe.” 

“Don’t worry my little baby boy I’ll make sure we get our revenge” Bmo said rubbing Finn’s face gently.

“I-I think they would actually be into that” Finn said softly, taking a sip of the hot chocolate.

“Hey Finn, hey Jake, hey bmo” Fern said walking in while waving before noticing Finn, “Woah what happened to him?” Fern asked while pointing at Finn.

“I’ve seen things, things I never want to see again” Finn let out taking another sip of the hot chocolate, his hands shaking.

“You know what I don’t think I really want to know anymore,” Fern remarked, putting his hands up and walking away. 

“Hey, how bout tomorrow we go and have a nice relaxing day at the Candy Kingdom tomorrow? Would you like that?” Jake asked softly sitting next to his brother.

Finn gave a small nod, maybe he could find out more about those Hornies and figure out more with those ones that tried to kill him.

That next day was anything but relaxing with a giant ship of some kind coming, easily taking down multiple banana guards, identifying Finn as human before it stopped attacking, and Jake crushed the ship.

Chapter Text

“Wait shouldn’t we have Loona come as well since she’s human and this could be from the humans?” Finn asked, tilting his head, it was already decided that him and the other non crazy human being Susan would be going to find the island where this thing came from.

“Wait yeah and those Hornies came from an island and washed up here while sailing they might be able to help as well” Jake remarked looking at PB.

PB thought for a moment, “It could be smart to have them,” She remarked “plus if you do bring Loona with you I won’t have to worry about her eating any of my people” She mumbled out the last part.

“We’ll go get them!” Finn said while running towards the candy castle with Jake right behind him.

Finn and Jake ran towards the guest rooms, ready to tell them all who knows, maybe they even know stuff about Founders island, maybe they've even been to it before! Finn quickly and excitedly knocked on the door to Loona’s room with a bright smile on his face.

“Ugh look I won’t try to eat another candy guy but it isn’t my fault you didn’t say don’t eat the candy people eat the non people candy!” Loona barked out, opening the door before seeing who it actually was, “oh it’s the kid and yellow dog, what do you want?”

“Well we were hoping that you could-” Finn stopped and processed what she said about eating candy people, “wait you ate some of the candy people?”

“I tried, you would have known if you weren’t an idiot and had actually listened to what I have to say, now finish what you started before I slam this door into your face.” Loona stated, with a small growl.

“Right, well I um we were planning on going to this place called founders island and before anything else was wondering if you know anything about it?” Finn asked, looking up at the taller woman.

Her eyes widened for a moment, her face was that of shock, she quickly went back to her normal expression though, “nope know nothing of it, lost a good portion of my memories when I washed up on Horny island though so who knows,” She said not making eye contact.

“Finn, I think she might know something, she’s acting pretty suspicious.” Jake whispered to Finn.

“I know dude but we don’t really have anyone else right now who might know something” Finn whispered back before standing up straight trying his best to back eye contact with the girl wearing the wolf hat, “Well we were planning on going to Founders Island, maybe you would want to come with us?” Finn offered, putting his hand out for her to shake.

“We’ll see,” She said for being so simple so was still able to say it supper rudely even slamming the door in their faces.

“Okay be out there tomorrow morning if you do decide to come!” Finn yelled out through the door before leaving. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Was all Loona could let out as she transformed back to her normal self, keeping up a human disguise drained out a lot of energy so every moment she didn’t have to keep it up, she didn’t.

She pulled her phone out of the hiding place she kept it, while they did have unique inventions here one of the few they didn’t seem to have were the smart phones from before the mushroom war so she kept it hidden. She went over to call Blitzø to tell him that they will probably either have to cancel this hit, or go to Founders island with all the other humans, she let it ring for a bit before giving up, deciding to just text him the news instead.

“Look Stolas if you really do love me then you would understand” Blitzø yelled out to the large owl man.

“But Blitzy I do love you which is why I’m so upset with you,” Stolas stated as he walked around Blitzo.

“You just see me as your little play thing, you can’t truly love me,” Blitzø muttered out looking at the ground.

“Oh Blitzy I do, but you won’t let me, and you won’t let me love you,” Stolas said walking away, “you know this happens everytime you push the ones you love away,” 

Blitzø looked up as he felt tears coming to his eyes, Stolas walked more into the shadows with Verisoka and Fizzarolli, Stolas still looking at him with his bright red eyes.

“Wait Stolas I do love you!” Blitzø yelled out trying to follow them before falling and being forced to watch them leave, “I do love you, I DO LOVE YOU!” Blitzo kept yelling out, now sobbing.

He felt something cold starting to rub his head, he looked up confused and saw a familiar face.

He woke up seeing the Ice King staring at him while slowly petting his head, petting it at an angel where he wasn’t hitting any of Blitzø’s head spikes, Blitzø just stared at him.

“It looked like you were having a bad dream, and I have Gunter rub me when I have them, thought you’d like the same,” The Ice King stated still petting Blitzø’s head, as if on cue he felt another starting to rub his head this time feeling more like a wing of a penguin.

“Welp this is to weird even for me,” Blitzø stated as he sat up out of reach of both of their hands, “I’m heading out now”

“Wait, before you do, I made breakfast, let me grab it!” Ice King remarked flying off to go grab it.

Blitzø sighed before spotting his pants, and decided to go ahead and get dressed. It was taking the Ice King a bit to get the breakfast, Blitzø sighed and reached into his pant’s pocket to pull out his phone before seeing that penguin. 

“Don’t say a word about this,” Blitzø demanded of the penguin.

It let out a small quack in response Blitzø took it as a sign of peace and took out his phone seeing multiple calls and texts from his employees.

“Fuck they want?” Blitzø asked to himself checking the text messages, turns out the human Frank or whatever Blitzø didn’t care, was going to try and travel to Founders Island where they had most of their human hits, this was perfect! 

Blitzø was so excited that he threw his phone down, it breaking in half. Him and the penguin stared at it for a moment.

“We don’t speak of this either,” Blitzø demanded of the penguin as he pushed the broken phone under the bed, the penguin let out another quack.

Blitzø pulled out another phone from his other pocket in his pants, the penguin let out another quack again seeing it.

“Of course I have spare phones,” Blitzø stated as he got back into the group chat.

He told them not to worry and they’ll go, it will be good to get other hits in while working on this one. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket before sitting back on the bed with a sigh. After a few more minutes Blitzø gave up on this breakfast and walked out of the bedroom and entered the large room leading to the entrance, when he saw Ice King and another person were arguing.

“Who is that Simon?!?” The stranger who wore a yellow cone like hat, square glasses, a green oversized sweater robe thing, and an off white tank top asked pointing to the imp.

“I’m the man that fucked him both with and without a horse costume last night, now who the fucked are you?” He said walking up next to the Ice King and crossing his arms.

“I’m Betty, his finance,” She told him wearing a very angry expression on her face.

“Damn second time I  fucked some lady’s husband this year, normally it’s more” Blitzø stated with a small smug smirk on his face.

“I don’t even know who she is, she just keeps breaking in” Ice King whispered to Blitzø who got the hint, Blitzø then pulled out a gun.

“If you don’t leave I’ll shoot you,” Blitzø told her calm look on his face.

“Simon please just remember me,” Betty asked, grabbing onto the Ice King’s hands.

“Look weird lady, I don't know who you are!” Ice King told her raising his hands.

She looked at the ground and turned around facing the window before looking back at them one last time.

“I’ll make sure you’ll remember me Simon,” She said before jumping out the window and flying away like a bird.

“That’s right bitch sorry you can’t fuck him well enough he’ll remember for the rest of his life!” Blitzø yelled out wanting to get the last laugh, he ran towards the window after saying that wanting to yell something else out but tripping on the ice and landing face first.

“I uh meant to do that!” Blitzø lied, he scrambled to make it less embarrassing, ending up in a seductive pose.

“Oh that’s good because I thought you fell,” Ice King told him, a small smile on his face.

“Say I’m feeling hungry and I don’t think breakfast will help it~” Blitzø got up and whispered into his ear.

“Oh it’s kinda early but I don’t mind making us lunch!” Ice King told him with a bright smile on his face.

“No you don’t need to, you already have everything to fill daddy up~” Blitzø told him with a smile on his face as he rubbed his finger down the Ice King’s chest.

“But I don’t have any food on me, you sure you don’t want breakfast?” Ice King told him tilting his head a bit.

Blitzø stared at him for a second, “get the horse costumes, because I want to ride you”

Chapter Text

“Come on, come on” Moxxie was starting to panic. Blitzø had last texted them yesterday and that was only once, they had an hour to get to the beach which was already 30 minutes away.

“Come on Mox, we already did a mission on our own. Who's going to stop us from doing it on our own?” Millie comforted her husband.

“Yeah and you remember what happened last time? Blitzø yelling at you Millie for all the attention you drew in and not just killing that guy, and how he was even more upset with you Moxxie for dragging a single hit out for a week and how awful it was?” Loona stated, scrolling on her phone.

“Says the one who never does her job” Moxxie mumbled out giving Loona the side eye, in return she gave him the middle finger.

“Guys, guys, settle down, Blitzø wants us to go with them, so we’ll go with them, besides it can’t be worse than last time!” Millie told them with a smile on her face.

“Mills is right we’ve learned what not to do last time we should be a lot better this time without him!” Moxxie agreed, placing his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, yeah, fine but I’m going with you two, someone has to keep you on track” Loona said as she transformed into her human disguise.

So the group left and walked to the beach where the others were already there, them being the last to get there. Finn gave a wave to them and ran up to where they were coming from which was near where princess bubblegum was standing and another girl with long black hair sitting in the shade.

“I didn’t think you guys would come!” Finn said excitedly as he came up to them.

“Oh yes we were hesitant since good old Blitzo was wanting to explore more but we decided to go ahead and come!” Princess Moxxine told them, instead of her massive blue puffy dress she was wearing a blue crop top and ripped jeans.

“Woah, when did Imps get permission to come up?” The girl with black hair asked them, pulling her sunglasses down a bit.

“Oh well uh we’re not actually Imps we are um descendants of a bunch of old Imps that found Horny island though…?” Moxxine told her as sweat ran down her neck.

“Meh, probably from the lust ring,” The black haired girl remarked, pulling her sunglasses back up.

“So Blitzø won’t be coming?” Finn asked, looking down at Moxxine.

“Yeah he wanted to check out more of Ooo you know,” Moxxine told him.

“Huh, honestly I don’t know if I would be able to look at him the same way again after what I saw last night,” Finn confessed to the group with a shudder.

It was an awkward moment or two of silence as they all looked at each other not really knowing what to do nor what to say, that was until a grassy replica of Finn popped out.

“Hi there!” He said scaring everyone who didn’t know he was there.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?” Loona yelled out, almost transforming back and having to stop herself quickly as she stared at the grassy replica of Finn.

“I’m Fern it’s nice to meet you!” Fern said holding his hand out for them to shake before he looked at Moxxine, “do I recognize you?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Well I uh you see um” Moxxie started to panic remembering the first night they were there and how when he was sneaking up into the tree he found Fern and knocked him out with that being when Loona and Millie came running in herring their codewords, “well no, I don’t think we’ve met before…?”

“Okay, makes sense to me,” Fern shrugged, Moxxie was surprised by how much easier people were tricked here then the humans.

“Boat’s ready!” A tall muscular woman said walking up, she had short blonde hair sticking out of a black cat hat and a purple torn up shirt and shorts, Jake came up to them as well stretching his body so it’ll only take him a step to get to them.

“Good morning,” The black haired girl said looking at the muscular woman once again taking her sunglasses off.

“Well I suppose this is farewell then, I wish you all a safe journey to and back from Founders island.” The pink princess told them.

“Thanks we should be heading off now,” Jake remarked as they started walking off to the boat.

“Wait Finn, I want to talk to you in private for a moment,” Princess Bubblegum called out to Finn, and the others continued to walk to the boat.

“I’m Susan Strong, you?” The muscular woman now known as Susan stated as they were walking to the boat.

“Oh I’m Moxxine, there’s Millered,” Princess Moxxine said pointing to herself then to Millered, “and that’s our human Loona,” Moxxine stated, pointing to Loona who was reading a book.

“Wait, how did you get that?” Moxxine asked, pointing to Loona’s book, her head being turned.

“Uh how normal people get books,” Loona remarked with an eye roll before going back to reading her book.

Millered fell back a bit to walk at the same pace as Loona looking up at the “human” girl.

“So what’s it about?” Millered asked with a smile.

“Some girl meets a vampire boy who’s about to go into the sun, I hope he burns like a chicken nugget,” Loona told her, still not pulling her eyes off of the book even as they got onto the boat.

“Wow reminds me of a book series I used to read when I was a teen, I was always more into the vampire guy then that werewolf dude.” Millered told her as they walked towards the inside and Loona sat down on one of the seats.

“Didn’t know there were werewolves, hope they eat everyone else,” Loona mumbled out under her breath as Millered left to see his girlfriend with a small have fun.

Finn finally made it to the boat and after a moment or two they were ready to set sail. They waved to the few seeing them goodbye and they were on their way to Founders island.

Moxxine then started to panic, which caused the others to panic as well.