Chapter Text
Jan certainly had better ideas than calling the new bass player of Joker Out in the middle of the night. It wasn't that Jan and Nace weren't friends. But he wasn't too sure about that either. Sometimes it seemed to him that Nace was flirting with him. At every single concert. Sure, Nace acted the same way with Bojan and Kris, but Jan wanted to convince himself that it was different with him. That he was something special.
He had almost forgotten what he was doing when he heard Nace's rough voice at his ear: "Jan? Did something happen?"
Of course something had happened. Jan is drunk and wanted to hear his voice. He hadn't really paid attention to what time it might be. He wouldn't look now either. He didn’t want to feel guilty that he might have woken Nace up. He was very sure that he had woken him up, but now it was already too late.
"Jan? Please say something. Do you want me to pick you up somewhere?"
The older man's voice was reassuring. Jan would have loved to be with him right now.
"I wanted to hear your voice," Jan confessed softly.
Suddenly everything around him began to spin. Slowly he closed his eyes. Everything was about to get better. Nace just had to say something. All Jan needed was his voice. Maybe even a hug, but that was hardly possible through the telephone.
"Do you know what time it is?" He sounded annoyed.
"No?" he replied timidly.
He could hear Nace exhale in annoyance.
Then he asked, a little less annoyed, "Where are you right now?"
Slowly Jan opened his eyes again and looked around. That was a very good question. Bojan had dragged him and Kris to some club, but he didn't remember what it was called or where it was. He had just walked out and gone several metres. A little panicked, he turned aroung.
There was a rustling on the other side of the phone. Jan wasn't sure what Nace was doing. He would probably just hang up and leave him alone. But all he wanted was to hear Nace's voice.
"Just stay where you are and I'll be there in a quarter of an hour. Please do what I tell you just once, okay?" came Nace's voice rustling through the speaker.
"I always do what you tell me," Jan said seriously.
Again Nace exhaled annoyed: "Whatever you say. Don't move from the spot and please don’t do anything stupid. I'm on my way now."
The connection was cut. Had Nace really just hung up? Somewhat perplexed, Jan stared at his mobile phone. Just as he had promised Nace, he stopped exactly where he was.
But he was really starting to get cold. Maybe he should have taken a jacket with him, but he never wanted to pay the cloakroom and he could never forget his jacket if he never brought one with him. He was really clever when he thought about it. Normally he didn't stand outside in the cold. If only briefly to smoke, but afterwards he always went straight back to the dance floor. A glance at his phone told him that it was just after half past three.
What kind of idiot was he to wake Nace up at half past three just to hear his voice? Maybe Jan should have drunk a little less, then he would never have called Nace. Somehow he had to make it up to the older man. The question was how.
In the distance, Jan could hear someone giggling. Two figures were coming straight towards him. One was tall and lanky, while the other was shorter. Jan wanted to run away, but he had promised Nace to wait here. Maybe the two figures would let him in peace and just walk away.
Jan tried to distract himself and stared at his mobile phone. His wallpaper was a picture of Nace holding Igor. Actually, Igor hates being held, unless it's Nace. Somehow Jan understands him. He doesn't want to be held by anyone other than Nace either.
"Janci? Is that you?" one of the figures asked.
Startled, Jan looked up and only now realised that the two creepy figures were Kris and Bojan. Kris had leaned slightly on Bojan, while both were still giggling as they came towards him.
Bojan looked at him with his big doe eyes: "What are you doing here? We've been looking everywhere for you."
Jan wasn't sure what he should say. If he told the truth, they would both make fun of him. And surely they would tell Nace that he had a little crush on him. Jan couldn't risk that. He was far too afraid that he might lose Nace.
That's why he said calmly, "I needed some fresh air."
Kris eyed him sceptically. Before either of them could say anything else, a car drove up and then stopped in front of them. When the door opened, none other than Nace stepped out. Jan was not sure why he was so surprised, after all, Nace had said he would come here and pick him up.
He looked really tired. His hair was sticking out in all directions and there were slight circles under his eyes. And all that because of Jan. Why was he such an idiot?
"Why didn't you say that you wanted to spend time with Nace? We would have left immediately," Bojan whispered to him a little too loudly.
Nace looked sceptically from Jan to Bojan. Then he shook his head, rolling his eyes. He seemed really annoyed.
"I think we should get in quickly before Nace leaves us all standing here," Kris said with a slight chuckle.
Jan tried to catch Nace's gaze, but he didn't really succeed. Nace opened the car door to the back seat and gestured Kris and Bojan to sit down. Still giggling, they both stumbled to the car. Only now did Nace look at him. He didn't look angry at all, but worried. Without saying a word, Nace took off his jumper and handed it to Jan. Confused, he took it.
"When are you going to start taking jackets with you when you are going out?"
There was a slight smile on his lips as he sat back in the car. Jan quickly put the jumper on and walked around the car. He paused for a moment to smell the jumper. Of course it smelled like Nace's aftershave and was cosy and warm because the older man had been wearing it himself until just now. He opened the car door and sat down next to Nace in the passenger seat. Right behind him he pulled the door shut and fastened his seat belt. Safety first.
Jan buried his hands lightly in the warm fabric of the jumper while Nace drove off. They were silent the whole way. The only thing that could be heard was the radio and Bojan's snoring. Kris would probably have fallen asleep too if he had his weird neck pillow. He always mentions that it is the best investment he had ever made.
"I'll take Bojan home first and then Kris," Nace said as he also drove to Bojan's housing estate.
Kris made a sound of agreement. Maybe he had fallen asleep after all. Jan himself was also tired, but it was hard for him to fall asleep now. He had woken Nace and now he had to stay awake too.
Luckily, however, Nace was already driving into Bojan's yard. When the car was parked, Nace took the key out of the ignition and got out. Immediately afterwards, he opened Bojan's door and crouched down next to him. He carefully tried to wake him up by talking to him softly and gently putting his hand on Bojan's shoulder. Nace was really a lot nicer than Jan and Kris. Jan was very sure that he and Kris would have just shaken Bojan hard once in the hope he would wake up. Bojan gave a low grumble and slowly opened his eyes.
"We’re at your home already," Nace said quietly.
He leaned over Bojan and unbuckled his seat belt. Bojan awkwardly tried to get out of the car. Nace supported him as best he could while he walked him to the front door.
"Why did you call Nace?", Kris' voice rang out from the back seat.
Startled, Jan turned around as best he could. Kris looked at him seriously. Why couldn't he have just fallen asleep?
Then he added: "Nace is not stupid. I'm pretty sure he knows you have a crush on him."
"I don't have a crush," Jan replied meekly.
He didn't want to talk to Kris about it now. Nace could come back at any moment and it was none of his business. For a moment they just looked at each other. Was that the end of the conversation? Hopefully.
"You’re the only one who believes that," Kris said, rolling his eyes.
All at once the driver's door opened again and Nace dropped into the seat.
"Bojan threw up and woke Martin up. He said he could manage on his own and that I should take you home before one of you throws up in my car," said Nace as he closed the door and fastened his seat belt.
He sounded exhausted. Without saying another word, Nace drove off. An even worse conscience spread through Jan. If only he had never called him. It was only because of him that Nace was now in a bad mood and tired. Why did he always have to be so impulsive? Normally he was never like that, only when it came to Nace. Maybe Kris was right and he had a crush. Of course he was right and everyone knew it. Probably Nace knew it himself too and was only being nice to him so as not to hurt him. What if Nace secretly hated him? Jan couldn't cope with that. And for that very reason he has to pull himself together and suppress his feelings. He can't have feelings for Nace, it could destroy the whole band. He doesn't want to be to blame if they have to look for a new bass player again, or this time a new guitarist, just because Jan couldn't control his feelings. Suddenly he found it hard to breathe and was sure he was going to have a panic attack. Deep breaths in and out.
Luckily Kris lived only a few streets away. He would endure that too and from there he would just walk home.
The sun was already rising outside. For a brief moment, Nace's hand stroked his thigh. Just as quickly as the touch came, it was gone again. For a moment his heartbeat calmed. Then Nace had already driven into the courtyard.
"Thank you so much for taking me home, Nace. You really are the best," Kris said in a serious tone before opening the car door and getting out.
He slammed the door behind him. Nace was about to drive off when Jan yanked open his door. The light above them was shining brightly towards them.
"What are you doing?" asked Nace, visibly confused.
"I can walk the rest of the way. It's no problem," Jan mumbled while trying to unbuckle his seatbelt.
Somehow he did not succeed. Did Nace have a child lock in his car? It would explain a lot. Kris had stopped in front of the car and looked inside in confusion. Nace waved slightly towards him while he bent over Jan and pulled the door shut again. Slowly the light in the car went out again.
"Jan, I got up especially for you. I'll drive you to your house, where you'll sleep and we'll talk tomorrow," Nace said as he drove away from Kris' yard.
Jan didn’t want to talk. There was not a single reason why they should talk.
"I'm sorry I woke you up," Jan said meekly.
Again Nace's hand briefly stroked his leg.
"It's all good. I didn't have to pick you up if I didn't want to."
That was the end of the conversation. They remained silent for the rest of the journey. Jan still had a guilty conscience, but he didn't want to upset Nace by talking on and on.
The sky around them was bathed in a warm orange. A glance at the clock told him that it was now half past four. He should never have called Nace.
"I can literally feel that you are feeling guilty for waking me up. It's really all right."
Barely noticeably, Jan nodded. Nace probably didn't see this anyway. Fortunately, Jan could already see his house. He was looking forward to his soft bed. Somehow he was much more tired than he had thought. A moment ago he was just tired, but now he could hardly keep his eyes open. Jan had his eyes closed for a second. The next time he opened them, they were in his yard. Had he really just fallen asleep?
"Do you want me to carry you in or can you manage that on your own?" asked Nace cautiously.
His voice was calm. Slowly, Jan turned his face towards him. Then he nodded slightly: "I can do go inside on my own, but can you stay with me today?"
"Of course I do," Nace replied with a slight smile as he stroked Jan's hair with one hand.
Again, Jans only thought was that he really wanted to kiss the older guy.