Chapter Text
It was another one of those days where Satoru was missing him just a little bit more than usual. It’s been 2 years since he finally killed Kenjaku for good and burnt his body, finally letting him rest in peace. And another 3 years, 2 months, 3 days and 18 hours since he killed his best friend. Not that he was keeping track of course.
Satoru had just exorcised another special grade curse, with them all but rid from the world unfortunately. All Satoru wanted right now was a nice warm cup of black coffee; just like how he used to like it. One piping hot black coffee with one packet of sugar. Satoru has his every little thing memorised; from his coffee order to the things he eats after ingesting another foul curse to ease the aftertaste.
He likes to let his mind drift to how it was like when they were still the strongest together. To when he was slowly going insane. Satoru chastises himself once again for not noticing his best friend gradually losing himself.
Satoru hates that even when he was questioning himself and his beliefs he would still remember to get Satoru his favourite sweets.
He finds a seat on the bench nearby. Satoru opens his phone, clicking on the one pinned contact that he has. He waits for it to go to voicemail like it always does. “Hey. It’s winter and I think I’m missing you again. I can’t believe it’s been so long since you’ve been gone.” He finds that he can’t bring himself to say the next words he wants to, with the lump in his throat ever present and making itself known once more. “Yeah that’s all I wanted to say.” He says instead.
Satoru finally notices the blood on his jacket sleeve. He doesn’t know if it's his but he brushes it away anyway.
He ends up scrolling through their old chats instead of getting up from the bench. Now that he thinks of it, he’s never allowed himself to grief over his old love. With a heavy heart and a mind full of him, Satoru gets up and continues living without him.
If you told him 15 years ago that his best friend would leave this world without him, and that he would be the one to kill him, he would have laughed in your face. And maybe pull said best friend to laugh along as well.
Satoru should have held him tighter, insisted on tagging along on his missions, and bought him his favourite snacks. He despises how useless he felt in the face of his troubled best friend which he should have known inside out.
He should have known that they cope in different ways; Satoru with his signature smile getting him out of every situation, and him, well, not having experienced failure on such a level before, didn't know how to make it out of it without losing himself in the process.
Satoru should have been there for him when he needed Satoru the most. And not away on missions all the time. But would it have been any different? Would they have still made it out alive together? Could they? The distance between them was already growing with every passing day, Satoru being more out of reach for him than ever.
“You’re going to be cold” He once said while putting his scarf onto Satoru. Satoru doesn’t deserve nice things such as this. He proved Satoru wrong time and time again. Satoru inhales the scent of the scarf. It’s one of the only things he left for Satoru. His scent long gone from it, now replaced by his own. There’s snow on his face. At the time, Satoru had resisted the urge to gently brush it away from his face. Maybe he should’ve.
The thought of what they could have been together eats away at him. Would they have just stayed as the strongest? Could Satoru have been selfish and wanted him for his own? Would he?
He remembers the late nights they spent together in their first year after they failed to prevent Riko’s death. Neither of them could sleep and he seeked refuge in Satoru’s room. Satoru remembers how tightly he held him. He should have run his hand through his hair and assured him that everything was going to be okay.
After a gruelling walk both down memory lane and through the park leading to his favourite coffee shop, he finally arrived at the cafe. Something about it feels different today. Satoru can feel every single cell in his body acting up. Could it be another curse? He opens the door, the bells chiming in the cold frosty wind.
He scans around the place. Not a single prominent cursed energy source to be seen nor felt. With this assurance, he goes up to order at the counter. Satoru orders his favourite drink at this place.
“How can you even stand to drink…whatever that is?” Satoru once commented on his drink of choice. Satoru ordered a sickeningly sweet drink while his best friend ordered the complete opposite. Satoru can feel the bitterness of his drink just by looking at it. It sends a shiver down his spine. “You don’t see me commenting on your drink of choice” he retorted while calmly stirring the sugar in.
Ever since he left the earth without Satoru, Satoru has been starting to order his favourite drink instead. It’s even becoming more suited to his taste now than what he normally used to order. How time flies.
“One black coffee for Satoru?” The voice sounds revoltingly familiar to home. It can’t be him right? The universe has never been nice to him. It has no reason to be now.
He walks up to the counter with a pace probably too fast in a cafe. He feels like this would slip away from him if he doesn’t. The clock is ticking and he is on borrowed time.
True enough, he sees the love of his life staring right back at him. He looks a little different, maybe less traumatised from him no longer being in the Jujutsu world. His hair is put up, just like he used to do before their first failed mission. For the third time in his life, Satoru hesitates.
Satoru can't believe his eyes. He scans for any cursed energy that may show that that isn’t him after all, but none is found. It’s him.
"Ah, are you Satoru? That's a nice name." Suguru is smiling right back at him. Just like he always used to. Satoru still doesn't deserve to be looked at like he hung the stars in the night sky for Suguru.
Satoru is snapped out of his stupor and focuses back on the man in front of him. "Yeah, that's me. Could you give me a moment?"
It's now or never. Satoru takes the receipt from Suguru's hand and pulls out the pen from his pocket to write something on it. He tries to be as quick as possible so as to not raise suspicion.
He folds the paper in half once finished. Satoru also pulls out a 10000 yen bill and passes both of the papers to Suguru. Suguru, wanting to return the change to him, gets hit with a "Keep it, I want you to have it." Satoru flashes his signature boygrin smile that he always used to at Suguru before taking his coffee and leaving the shop.