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Heists & identities

Summary:

“They- look,” Kokichi squinted at one again, then brandished it, “They’ve given him a mullet. It’s almost as bad as Kaito’s hair!”
“What’s wrong with my hair?”
“Nishsishi, what isn’t wrong with your-”
“-Kaito, Kokichi,” Rantaro interrupted, “We’re detectives. Solving a case, leave this ‘till we’re off work, please?”

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Kokichi, Rantaro, and Kaito are detectives. Every so often and interesting case happens to appear - and now they have one involving a mysterious phantom thief.

Notes:

Inspired by the prompt : Weight of the world / Partners in crime

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“So he calls himself,” Rantaro flipped over the dossier of folders again, “A phantom thief?”

“It’s certainly pretentious.” Kaito chimed in, “I mean, leaving notes at the crime scene? What kinda thief does that? It’s like they’re trying to get caught.”
“I dunno, I think it’s pretty clever,” Kokichi spoke up from the corner of the room, still looking at the criminal’s facial composite, “Also ew, who’s making these composites?”

Rantaro looked over at them, he thought they were pretty decent. Considering they had practically no eye-witnesses (someone who was on the other side of the road allegedly saw them) and had to use the details of the break in to build a profile. “Our usual guy… what’s wrong with them?”

“They- look,” Kokichi squinted at one again, then brandished it, “They’ve given him a mullet. It’s almost as bad as Kaito’s hair!”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nishsishi, what isn’t wrong with your-”

“-Kaito, Kokichi,” Rantaro interrupted, “We’re detectives. Solving a case, leave this ‘till we’re off work, please?”

Moving into a more normal sitting position, Kokichi set aside the photos and began to reach for the evidence case, “Only cause you said please, y’know.”

“Yeah, our bad Rantaro,” Kaito apologised, “Geez, I’m no good at thievery cases.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much Kaito, you’re still one of the best detectives here,” Rantaro smiled, “They wouldn’t give this case to just anyone.”

“Yeah, they gave it to Shuichi.” Kaito voiced the concern Rantaro had, “He’s our best detective, and he dropped the case, he dropped it!”

Kokichi looked up at this, “Well, our beloved Saihara is wanted a lot, y’know. They’ve probably sighed him over to a murder case or something boring.”

“I think he got my case,” Rantaro said, “Shouldn’t be too hard, it was pretty clear. He mainly needs to sort out the official stuff.”

“Oh, your murder one?” Kokichi lit up, “Y’know, I just finished a murder case too - want to know what the creepiest thing about it was?”

Kaito scoffed slightly, “No.”

“Awww, c’mon.”

“Still no dude.”

“But it’s suuuuuper creepy,” Kokichi had spun his chair towards Kaito now, coming steadily closer, “C’mon!”

“Fine,” Rantaro broke the stalemate, “What was it, Kokichi?”

“My Rantaro cares about me!” Kokichi briefly stopped staring at Kaito to throw his boyfriend a grin, “Ok. The creepiest thing was the murder’s looks. He had a goatee!”

So used to it by now, Kaito didn’t even respond, instead flicking over the evidence and staring hard at it. Kokichi kept the eye-contact for a beat longer before also going back to his work, trying to figure out where the thief would strike next. The three worked in harmony for a while, only stopping to briefly check something with a team member or going to get something to eat. Kokichi had, rather impressively, avoided any coffee so far - although he was steadily eating an entire packet of sweets. Grape flavoured ones, of course. Rantaro still had yet to work out if his boyfriend actually liked them, or if he chose them because no-one else liked them. Both were equally as likely.

But as he pulled the case files over, Rantaro couldn’t help his mind wondering. First of all, his mind went to his boyfriend - sitting in front of him while carefully analysing his case-files, concentrating and writing rapidly, not even looking up in conversation. Then his mind went to the phantom thief, the one who was too good - potentially too good for Shuichi. The best detective here had given up the case, but why? Surely it couldn’t be because of difficulty, but if it wasn’t difficult… personal reasons? Who would he care enough about to lie for?

Eventually, Rantaro stood up - signalling everyone to stop. Kaito gave a relieved grimace as he rolled his shoulders, while Kokichi smiled as he stood up, graceful as ever. Swinging his arms slightly, Kokichi looked to Rantaro, throwing a case file his way, “Here you go, places our thief is likely to strike next. Can I get a thank you kiss?”

Kaito rolled his eyes slightly, “I’ll send you a summary of my work, you can kiss once I’ve gone.”

Watching as he left, Kokichi called after him, “You don’t want to stay and watch?”

Not bothering to dignify that with a response, Kaito continued to walk out; although Rantaro guiltily chuckled. Moving over to Kokichi, he wrapped his arms around him, “Am I meeting you tonight?”

“I wish,” Kokichi said, and Rantaro could feel his pout, “I already promised my night to something else.”

“Did you have to make it sound like that?”

“Sound like what?” Kokichi looked innocent, but his eyes were sparkling in enjoyment,”Nee-heehee, you have such a dirty mind Rantaro!”

“Sure,” Rantaro flicked Kokichi over the head, “Just don’t come home too late.”

“Says you,” Kokichi looked at the schedule, “You’ve got duty today, watching one of our thief’s potential crime scenes.”

“My choice?”

“Yup! Which one are you hanging out in?”

“I’ll look over your file,” Rantaro picked it up, weighing it in his hands, “I love you!”

“Awww, love you too!”

Rantaro’s night didn’t end up being that interesting, all in all, he got home late - before immediately going to bed. Frowning slightly when he realised Kokichi wasn’t there yet, but not worried; sometimes his boyfriend would have late nights. He didn’t exactly control what was happening. Morning routines were also mainly the same as normal, Rantaro woke up slightly earlier than Kokichi and began making breakfast - laughing as his boyfriend trudged into the kitchen.

But there was something bright and fun in Kokichi’s eyes, and a hint of excitement as he hugged Rantrao before stealing the coffee. Kokichi was an intolerable coffee thief, made even worse by the fact he drank his coffee with excessive milk and sugar - just so no-one else would touch it. Although something in Rantaro admired the level of pettiness. Wriggling out of a hug Rantaro tried to trap him in, Kokichi sat down with a smile, “Good morning!”

“I’m glad to see you’re awake,” Rantaro said dryly, looking pointedly at the cup of coffee, “You could probably give the phantom thief a run for his money, y’know?”

“Ooooh, really?” Kokichi grinned, “I’m much better than him.”

“Obviously.” Rantaro said it quickly, but it was still genuine - an easy transition into the rest of their morning conversations.

The drive to work was easy enough, like it normally was, and overall pretty pleasant. As they were about to go through the door, Rantaro turned on his phone (he didn’t like to suddenly have notifications in the morning) and winced at the noise. Turning to Kokichi, he asked, “Hey, what did I miss?”

“Hm?” Kokichi looked up, and then his eyes lit up in understanding, “Oh - you mean the notifications? Our thief robbed a jewellery store, one of the faaancy ones.”

“Seriously?” Rantaro tried to run through the different locations Kokichi had given him, mentally thinking of which ones would cause a stir or which ones wouldn’t. “Tasaki?”

“Nope, Mikimoto.”

Containing the urge to swear under his breath, Rantaro instead swallowed before keeping walking, “Well, they have good security. I’m sure they’ll have captured something.”

Looking over the video evidence, they had found almost nothing. Only one camera had captured any of the events - a central one that seemed to be deliberately kept on. A figure dressed in formal white mens clothing, he even had a suit on, wore a mask as he stared at the camera and then bowed. The buttons on his suit were a darker purple, one that stood out but matched his hair - which was gelled completely upwards and sideways with spikes. An irony that Kokichi certainly didn’t fail to point out as he laughed at Kaito.

“So, the facial composite has been updated,” their chief finished saying, “And it’s Mikimoto that got broken into.”

“Mikimoto, seriously?” Kaito exclaimed, “Geez, this guy’s got balls.”

“Appropriate words in the workplace, Kaito,” Rantaro chided gently, before glaring as Kokichi immediately copied his words. “You too, ‘Kichi.”

“I’ll leave you to your work, we need to find them soon.”

This time, Kokichi waited until the person he was mocking was out of the room to mock him, “‘We need to find them soon’ - what else does he think you’ve been working on?”

“We’ve been working on,” Rantaro corrected, “I still think what we were doing works, so let’s keep the roles we were doing.”

“You got it, boss!” Kokichi put on slightly over-the-top enthusiasm, but as he sat cross-legged in the chair he certainly was dedicated. Doing mostly the same routine, the three worked together again - although it was slightly less silent than before. Ideas were thrown around this time, and Kokichi continued to find the phantom thief’s hair hilarious. Kokichi also developed a game where he would leave to get coffee/take something out of his secret sweet stash and put a picture of the culprit on Kaito’s hair - carefully balanced. It had been funny the first time and now, on the sixth try, it was still amusing.

The night began the same too, although now Rantaro was in a different location. Thankfully a second detective had been brought along with him - Kaito. Kokichi would’ve joined them, but he had another outing; it was fair enough as Kokichi had probably contributed the most to their dossier. He could always get inside the mind of the culprit, and it was honestly impressive. Just one more thing that made Rantaro more proud of his boyfriend. Smiling, he began to daydream before-

“Hey Rantaro, did you hear that?” Kaito’s whisper cut across them suddenly, his eyes wide in both nerves and determination.

“Hear what?” Rantaro asked sheepishly.

“There was a noise,” Kaito insisted, “Look - the camera’s are off!”

Following his gaze, Rantaro felt determination solidify. “You go to the jewellery room, I’ll go to the exit?”

“Sounds good!”

With surprisingly light footsteps, Kaito sped away to the main (and more expensive) rooms, while Rantaro began to go to the doors - moving quickly while also trying to be silent. Pausing between two doors, Rantaro tried to listen as he suddenly heard movement. Hushed voices, probably instructions. Taking one hand on his phone, to call for back-up, Rantaro pushed open the door, “Hands up!”

The figure was dressed in white, just like he had been in the security camera video. His hair was the same darker purple colour, almost midnight purple in the light, and down; hair swooping into spikes and wildly, yet attractively, tangled. His gloved hands were reaching for someone in the window, but jolted in fright and withdrew, his hand instead going to his pocket. Then, the hand stopped and the movement became more measured. Graceful, almost feline-like, the phantom thief stood up and took (thankfully empty) hands out of his pockets. Calling casually, almost cheerfully, he spoke to the people outside, “Don’t worry guys, meet you in a few hours?”

There must have been agreement because the masked figure turned around, but all Rantaro could focus on was that he recognized the voice. It was deeper than it normally was, but it was still unmistakably Kokichi’s.

His boyfriend, who was a detective, was also the now notorious phantom thief? They even had the same hair, the same height, the same build, the same stature. As he kept staring, Rantaro could only formulate the thoughts ‘why didn’t you figure it out sooner?’. Kokichi stayed moving lightly, rocking on the balls of his feet, “Soooo, you gonna tie me up and rough up my body, Mr. Detective?”

“I-” for some reason, that was the word that shocked Rantaro out of his slumber, “We’re in a relationship, d’you just make this offer for anyone?”

“I meannnn,” Kokichi’s acting was immaculate, even now, “Do you make an offer to date any criminal you meet?”

“I know it’s you, Kokichi.”

“Shit.”

Kokichi’s real voice had come through now, and Rantaro could imagine the pout as well as the slightly moving eyes, a symbol of his nervousness. Then his voice lost its act, and became more pleading, “‘Taro, I… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you even doing this?”

“Cause it’s fun obvi,” Kokichi responded, before quickly following up, “That was a lie. I’m helping a friend who needs money, quick. Not for anything nefarious!”

“‘Kichi, this is illegal…”

“I-” Kokichi looked away for a second, “C’mon, if the great Shuichi Saihara can’t figure this case out, can we reallllly do it?”

“We absolutely-” Rantaro reacted on instinct before he thought about what Kokichi was asking. And for some reason, love immediately won out. “No more heists.”

“No more heists.” Kokichi echoed, his smile immediately coming into his voice, “Now help me escape?”

Rantaro moved quickly, helping him out of the window, “No more heists!”

Notes:

Hopefully you enjoyed! Sorry this is a day late, but hopefully it's still fun!

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