Chapter Text
Beatrice hasn’t had her fair share of first days to be honest. That is because up until a few months ago Beatrice has been living a sheltered (controlled) life. A life that most people from the outside would deem as “comfortable” and “easy”. But to Beatrice felt more like a prison than anything else. Her life before was calculated and precise, not by her own standards but by her mother’s. If you asked her, Beatrice would say that the life she had before was never truly hers. Yes, she was 21 years old, but she wasn’t just any 21-year-old. She was in line to inherit her mother’s pride and joy of a company. Young Industries.
Looking back now Beatrice thinks that’s the only reason why she existed in the first place. not to turn a loving couple into a family but to make sure that their (her mother’s) company lived on. Her entire existence was a business move and because of this, her life has been under her mother’s scrutiny ever since. She never took up (was never allowed) any hobbies “just for fun” it always had to have some inkling of an effect on her future or to be more specific the future of the company.
Those that made the cut (i.e., met her mother’s standards) were playing the Cielo, Aikido, and Kendo on top of learning French and Latin. In her mother’s mind all these skills will be beneficial for her daughter to have together with the business-related crap that Beatrice couldn’t be bothered with… The rest of the options (i.e., the ones Beatrice really wanted to take) fell under the category of “waste of time” and “distractions”
Don’t get her wrong there were some good things from Beatrice’s life before. Granted, she could only count them in one hand, but they existed nonetheless, and those were: weekends with her father, and surfing lessons. The surfing lessons she got because on one of her weekends with her dad. She begged and pleaded with him to help her reason out with her mother.
“Surfing would allow her to break the monotony of aikido and kendo training. It will give her another outlet to build her endurance and stamina, plus this is the only activity she’ll have outside. Your daughter is as pasty as a printing paper… let her have this.”
This was one of the few moments when her father pulled through for her and one of Beatrice’s most cherished memories. The other moment was when Beatrice met Shannon, her surfing instructor.
Apart from the other instructors in Beatrice’s life at that time. Shannon was the only one unmonitored. Meaning, she was never included in the e-mail chain labelled “Beatrice’s progress” that was sent to her mother’s inbox on a monthly basis.
During her sessions with Shannon, Beatrice never had to memorize a music piece to perfection, get a certain move down to a T, or figure out what next big thing will be good for the damn company.
Surfing never felt like a requirement… it felt more like a break, an escape from the never-ending race that Beatrice called her life and she was damn amazing at it too. What Beatrice’s personal end goal was? She didn’t really know. All she was taught, all she ever knew at this point of her life was that if she had time to rest, then she wasn’t doing enough.
“Holy shit. Are you training for the Olympics or something.” Shannon asked during one of their sessions.
“No, that’s just my routine.” Beatrice answered. She has never really given it much thought really. How could she when once one task was done, she moved on to the next.
“Do you at least enjoy them?” Shannon probed.
“They keep me busy, and busy is good.”
“But when do you have fun?”
“W-... hmm...” this question stumped Beatrice.
This was the first moment when Beatrice thought that maybe… what she has been used to most of her life is not the only way of living and that in fact her way of life wasn’t really as common as she thought it was. Her friendship with Shannon brought on a new era for Beatrice. It was one of the few if not the only relationship she had that was not transactional but completely genuine.
Them being closer to each other’s age made it easier for Beatrice and Shannon to relate and build a bond more than just about surfing. Shannon, was always present for a lot of Beatrice’s firsts… first time riding a wave (successfully), first ice cream, first trip to the cinemas, first prank on the other surf instructor… Shannon was her soul sister and Beatrice was hers.
So it only made sense for Beatrice to come to Shannon about her first crush on a girl.
“You like her? Omg!! Tell me more!” Shannon squealed excitedly. which took Beatrice by surprise.
“You... you don’t... think there’s anything wrong with me?” Beatrice asks. her words oozing with anxiety.
“Wrong with you? Because you like girls? God no. I like girls too…. We can’t choose who we like or love in this world, buttercup. So long as we are living our truths and are not hurting anyone in the process then… I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
This conversation gave Beatrice the courage to act on her feelings towards her Aikido partner, Monica. whom she’s been getting to know quite well at this point… So, after one of their classes, Beatrice asked her to hang out at her place. Everything went smoothly. They watched a movie, ate pizza, joked around a lot and for a moment Beatrice felt at peace. Monica felt it too as she leaned in to plant an innocent kiss on Beatrice’s lips. This was her first and everything was perfect.
This peacefulness lasted for about a month. Until Beatrice’s mother grew uncomfortable with the closeness she had with Monica and stepped in. It started with late replies, then a “busy” schedule, until after one of their Aikido classes. Beatrice found the courage to approach Monica to ask her what was going on.
“I can’t see you anymore, Beatrice.” Monica uttered nervously without making eye contact.
“But why? I thought…”
“You thought wrong… this thing between us… it’s… wrong and we need to stop it... before anyone finds out. You’re mom…”
“My mom?” Beatrice asked, confused. “What does she have to do with any of this?”
“I’ve already said too much… I’m sorry, Beatrice. I can’t do this anymore.” That was the last time she ever saw, Monica.
When Beatrice got home that day. She confronted her mom whose only reply was. “I’ve heard enough of this. That girl has confused you and made you lose your way.”
“lose my way? Mother, this is who I am!!”
Her mother slammed her hands on the table as she stood up and said.
“No, I will not have anymore of this Beatrice. So long as you live in my house, you live under my rules! You hear me?! We will not speak of this again. You are going to go back to how you were before this whole thing and you will continue to become the worthy inheritor of our company, our legacy.”
“And what if I choose not to go back?” Disdain enveloping Beatrice’s every word.
“Then you give me no choice. We will… send you away until you’re 25 years of age to a place where you can focus up and prepare you fully to assume your responsibility to our company.”
“That’s ridiculous mother!”
“If you lived my life before, you would never think that way Beatrice!!” Her mother tugs on her dress trying to regain her composure that went out the window two screams ago. She takes a deep breath and continues.
“You fail to see the lengths I will go to, to keep our legacy alive… I will send you to a goddamn convent if I must, if it means that all my life’s work is not put to waste. You hear me? So, stop testing me.” That was the last conversation she ever had with her mother.
Her next session with Shannon wasn’t any better. After several half-assed attempt of riding a wave. Shannon finally gathered up the courage to ask.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
The question hung between the two women for a minute as they sat on the shore looking afar at the other surfers who were waiting for their turn to catch a decent wave.
“Monica broke things off with me.” Beatrice spat the words out as if they burnt her tongue on their way out.
“If you want to talk about it… if you’re ready to… I’m here to listen.” Shannon muttered placing a hand on Beatrice’s shoulder.
“My mother found out about us and… well she did what she does best, meddled with it until Monica wanted nothing to do with me.” Beatrice’s eyes begin to fill with tears.
This was her first official heartbreak.
“Oh shit, what did she say?”
“She said Monica, ‘distracted’ me and that she’s not above sending me to a convent to shut me up.”
“Beatrice, that’s messed up.”
“I know and it hurts so much to be told that the only thing that feels natural to me as breathing is wrong… that I’m.. wrong.”
Tears flowed now. Beatrice has been trying her best to suppress the emotions as she has done with any other feelings she has had in the past that weren’t up to par with her mother’s expectation but this one felt different.
It felt like she was trying to push down a raging fire inside a cardboard box… the pain wanted to break free.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Bea. It’s anyone in your family but you. You deserve all the love and care in the world. regardless of what others get in return. You deserved to be loved unconditionally.”
Shannon pulled her in for a tight hug. They stay like this for a minute just allowing Beatrice to feel her feelings to shed the tears that have been clawing its way out of her heart.
“I wish I could take you away from here.” Shannon whispered and then it clicked. Beatrice wiped away here tears and looked her best friend straight in the eyes and said.
“Let’s do it.”
“Beatrice…”
“Shannon, please. My mother herself said it that so long as I live under her house, I’m under her rules… let’s leave this place.” Beatrice grabs her best friend’s hands trying to reinforce her plea.
Shannon’s heart broke. If she had all the money and riches in the world she would.
“Beatrice I…”
Beatrice felt her hesitance and dropped her hands immediately “You’re right. I... I’m being unreasonable. I’m so sorry, Shan.” As she started to pull away, she felt Shannon’s grip tighten.
“Beatrice… wait.” Shannon takes a deep breath.
“Give me some time… I... I need to think of a plan. But buttercup, this isn’t going to be easy okay? You’ve never been on your own before and I’ve never been used to having someone with me. So, there will be some adjustment period.”
“W-what are you saying?” Beatrice couldn’t believe what she was hearing… Shannon is agreeing with her.
“I’m saying, I’m in… you deserve to be free, Bea.”
Beatrice pulled Shannon in for a tight hug.
“Thank you, Shan. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“We’re getting you out of here.” Shannon whispers.
When Beatrice got home that evening, she packed her duffle bag with clothes and her essentials, snuck it out through their back door entrance and stashed it beside the garbage bin outside their house. When the clock struck 2 am. She got up, snuck out the front door, did not leave a note and left the place where she grew up in without looking back.
Once she gathered her stashed away bag. She pulled out her phone to look at the time. 2:30 the screen read. Shannon asked to meet her at 3:30 am at the bus stop.
When Beatrice got to the bus stop, she sent Shannon a text message saying so. A few minutes passed and still no Shannon. Beatrice was starting to worry her friend got cold feet.
“Where are you, Shan?” She nervously asked herself.
Shannon arrive 30 minutes late. “Fuck, Beatrice I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry... I got held back.”
Beatrice was already in tears. Shannon wrapped her arms around her crying friend. “I’m so sorry, buttercup. I’m so sorry.”
“I... I thought you changes your mind.” Beatrice managed to say between sobs.
“No... no sweetie, I just... when I got home... I... uh... planned out where we were going to go and how we were going to get there… and fell asleep. But I would never leave you, Beatrice… not now. Not ever. You hear me?”
Beatrice could only nod in agreement.
The first two months of them living together was a learning curve to say the least but they got through it somewhat smoothly, expectations and healthy boundaries were set. Beatrice was taught to do household chores while Shannon went out to find a job and eventually, she did. But it was in the city 2 hours from where they were at that time.
So the girls decided to pack up once again and move… that’s how the ended up where they are now.
“Knock, knock.” Beatrice announced as she leaned on the doorframe. Shannon turned around and gestured for her to come in. The two sat comfortably on the edge of Shannon’s bed.
“What’s up, Buttercup?” Shannon asked.
Beatrice hesitated for a minute, then proceeded “What if I’m not as good as I thought?” Shannon wanted to nip this thought in the bud but held off. Beatrice continued “what if I start this and I found out that I suck. I have nowhere else to go if this doesn’t work out; not place to go back to… and even if the latter was an option, I wouldn’t want to, either. If that happens then… then.” Beatrice didn’t know how to finish her sentence.
She felt her eyes start to well up with tears. Shannon wraps an arm over Beatrice’s shoulders and shakes her a bit which seemed to work. Beatrice turned her gaze to Shannon with an apologetic smile.
“Beatrice, I’m not saying you’ll rock this right off the bat, that would be unrealistic. Everyone, even “the great” Beatrice Young, has a learning curve, okay?” Beatrice chuckled and nodded.
“I’ve seen you surf a thousand times, Bea, believe me you’re amazing at it. You’re at peace when you’re in the water and it radiates from you.”
Shannon proceeds. “Now this job may serve as an avenue for you to TRY and share that peace with others; but teaching them what you love to do.” The weight on Beatrice’s stomach lifted. Shannon always knew what to say.
“Emphasis on the ‘try’ okay? It’s a case-to-case basis.” Beatrice nods.
“It would also serve you some good to meet new people. I mean, I know I’m a goddamn gift but…” Beatrice rolled her eyes lovingly at this. Shannon saw this and nudged her playfully in turn.
“The more people you choose to have in your corner and share your light to, the more chances you have at learning more… about life, about people, and about yourself.”
Shannon planted a kiss on Beatrice’s temple and hugged her tightly. Beatrice melts into it. “Thank you, Shannon.” Beatrice whispers.
“You’re welcome, kid. You’ll always have me. Okay? Whatever happens we’ll navigate through it… together.”
“Together.” Beatrice echoes.
“Oh shoot, before I forget. I have a gift for you.” Shannon pulls away to grab the journal she bought earlier and hands it to Beatrice.
“I know how much you love journaling so I thought you might like this.” Beatrice feels moisture in her eyes once again (has she always been this emotional?) It has been a while since she wrote something. Now might be a great time to start back up. “Thank you, Shannon. I love it.” Beatrice replied, and the two sat in comfortable silence until Beatrice went to her room.