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“Oh, come on, Charlie! I know you and Sarah have pet names for each other! I don’t know what the big deal is, we’re your friends, you can tell us! They can’t be that embarrassing!”
“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, Jesse,” Charlie replied with a definitely trying too hard to be nonchalant to actually be nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “I guess Sarah and I just don’t go in for all that sappy, shmoopy stuff.”
“Nope, nuh-uh, not buying it,” Jesse continued, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head. “You’re the most disgustingly in love couple I know - I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s adorable and heartwarming and reaffirms my faith in love every single day, yadda, yadda, yadda - but, yeah, it’s actually disgusting the way you two constantly make heart eyes at each other. There’s no way you don’t have pet names for each other!”
“Seriously, we don’t have pet names for each other!” Charlie reiterated, only to be met with a scoff from Jesse and an inquisitive head tilt and questioning whine from Rex, who’d been lying on the floor beside the couch, quietly observing proceedings up until then.
Joe chose to intervene at that point, heading off another rant from the youngest (two-legged, that is) member of the team.
“Hey, hey, Jesse, if Charlie says he and Sarah don’t have pet names for each other then we should believe him. Lots of people in relationships don’t use pet names. Besides, it’s none of our business. So let’s just drop the subject and move on with the rest of our night, shall we?”
“Yes, let’s. Thank you, Joe,” Charlie said, raising his glass in Joe’s direction in gratitude at the reprieve from his friend’s harmless, but slightly annoying, probing.
Jesse pouted but didn’t argue with his boss.
“On a totally unrelated note,” Joe segued nonchalantly, “what would your answer be, Charlie, if I asked you to complete the title of the 1965 hit single by Sonny and Cher, I Got You…?”
“Uhhh… Babe?”
From the kitchen, a distracted Sarah, busy putting the finishing touches to the meal she and Charlie had prepared for their guests and not really following the conversation in the next room, could clearly be heard to reply, “Yes, Honey-Poo?”
“Ha!” Joe crowed triumphantly, slapping his hand against his thigh before sauntering off with a smirk to top up his drink.
Jesse meanwhile (when he’d managed to get his snorts and giggles somewhat under control) narrowed his eyes, jabbed his index finger playfully into Charlie’s chest and said, “Don’t ever lie to my face again… Honey-Poo.”
Oh, Charlie was so never going to hear the end of this.