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Sigma and dazai had been together since a few months after the decay of angels incident and signs had been through his fair share of dazai's rough days but nothing could prepare him for the anniversary of oda's death.
Sigma had been told very little about oda but enough to know how much dazai was hurting today, "dazai darling do you think you can eat a bit for me" for the past 10 minutes dazai had just been staring at his breakfast his eyes hazy and disassociated. Sigmas voice briefly snaps dazai out of his haze and he eats a few bites not much but enough to make signs happy.
"Dazai I know today is a lot. What would you like to do today?" Sigma asks dazai, he needs to keep dazai active and out of his head but doesn't want to overwhelm him. A few minutes go by and dazai still hadn't answered, Sigma realizes he's dissociating "are you in there?" Sigma questions as he gets up from his side of the table and goes over to dazai he kneels beside his dissociating lover and gently places his hand on his cheek.
"Let's take today slow yeah?" Sigma questions, dazai nods his head slightly he then looks at sigma and talks for the first time that morning "c-can we visit the cemetery" he questions in a shaky voice, sigma hug him. "Of course we can come let's get ready."
Sigma helps dazai get dressed and they head out to the cemetery stopping at a flower shop first for a small bouquet of flowers to set on Oda's grave. Hand in hand they walk together to the cemetery and to where oda is buried. When they arrive, for the first few minutes dazai just stares at the headstone, sigma keeps his hand tight around dazai then tears start to stream down dazai's face. Through his grief dazai places the flowers on Oda's grave then collapses into sigmas chest, sigma promptly wraps his arms around dazai in a protective manner and holds.him close.
"I've got you darling l, just let it all out" sigma soothes, dazai starts to sob and they stay like that for 10 minutes before dazai's tears slow and he's left an emotionless husk. "Let's get you home and resting darling" sigma says as he guides dazai home.
When they get back to their shared apartment sigma sits dazai on their bed and briefly leaves the room, he knew he shouldn't have left dazai alone he could see the danger in his eyes but he did and when he came back he found dazai hyperventilating on their bed rocking back and forth and clawing at his arms.
Sigma rushes to his side and pulls him close, he gently grabs dazai's hands in his and runs the backs of them to ground him. "Breathe with me osamu" sigma starts to exaggerate his own breathing in hopes that dazai mimics it and he does. Dazai starts to calm down, his panic attack took a lot out of him and he starts to get drowsy. Sigma takes note of this and pulls a blanket over him and dazai and lays dazai in his lap.
"Rest darling" sigma says as he strokes dazai's hair while he drifts off into sleep. Sigma hopes that when he wakes his lover will be present in his own body again.