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When people pictured the Sea of Souls, they had a tendency to imagine it as a quiet, calm place. The friction between different personalities, the distinctions between “us” and “them”, all were supposed to melt away in the face of the humanity at the core of every person. It was a reassuring thought.
Of course, even most of the people who knew of the Sea of Souls had never been themselves. If they had, they would have realized that the name was more apt than they knew. The Sea was constantly in motion, its component parts reacting to the slightest change in their surroundings. It was only its scale that gave it so much as the illusion of tranquility.
And at that moment, one particular soul within the Sea was anything but calm. Little more than a collection of impulses and exposed nerves, it strained at its surroundings, instinctively wanting to be anywhere but here, so completely subsumed by others that it was once again alone.
This was far from the first soul to feel such an impulse. It was, however, the first to have the necessary experience of constructing a physical form from thoughts. When it felt a rift open in the fabric of reality, one it had thought sewn closed, it did not hesitate. It clawed its way through, drawing physicality tight to itself as it went, and with a great wrench of effort it forced its existence onto the world.
Metis didn’t remember the first time she’d awoken. Her early existence had melted into a blur of light-sound-sensation-overwhelm, and any attempts to pull specifics out of it were likely to give her a headache.
Even so, she suspected that it had been a lot like this. She wasn’t, and then she was, and something was very wrong.
The impulse to protect her sister was so strong that she was moving before she registered her surroundings. She had stepped down off the table (?) and was halfway across the room (?) when she realized she didn’t know where she was going. The pull towards Aigis, towards the companionship and completeness and comfort that had driven her for her entire brief existence, was gone.
This revelation was enough to freeze Metis in place. How was she supposed to make sure her sister was safe if she didn’t know where she was? She had yet to answer that when an even worse thought occurred to her: would Aigis want her protection at all?
They weren’t really sisters, and they both knew it. If anything, Metis was a walking reminder of Aigis’ weakness and the worst time in her life. And that was before you threw her personality into the mix. She knew the team had found her annoying, clingy and tactless and trying so very hard to be part of a circle that had closed before she’d ever existed. She didn’t know how to be anything else.
Maybe it would be better for her to stay away. As far as she knew, there was no looming crisis, and all Metis had to offer was her presence. There was no reason to believe that anyone would want that.
Her own desires, a small and selfish voice at the back of her mind, agreed with them. Why would she want to go back anyway? They would only ever see her as the poor deluded extension of Aigis, unable to stand as her own person. Here was her chance to prove them wrong. She could turn her back on duty and sorority and purpose and decide for herself what mattered.
Besides, a Persona was supposed to be one’s strength of heart, right? She’d seen how Aigis had awoken to the power of the Wild Card when the people she cared about were threatened. Putting herself to the test like this would only make her more useful to her sister.
…Yes, it was a rationalization, and not a particularly good one. But the more she thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. Next time she saw Aigis, she would be more than a shield for her.
Of course, if she wanted to prove that she could exist on her own, the first step was probably to figure out why she was here in the first place. The room was darker than any in the dormitory or the scenes from SEES’ past, lit an eerie green by a box on the table she’d found herself standing on. Dotted around the room were a number of coffins standing on their ends.
This she recognized, even if she’d never seen it as herself. It seemed to be the Dark Hour. How, she didn’t know, when everyone had been so certain it was over, but this was what Aigis had been built for, and so by proxy Metis was as well.
Besides, it felt almost like the Abyss of Time, the closest thing she’d ever had to a home.
This wasn’t the time for ill-formed nostalgia, though. If this really was the Dark Hour, that implied it would come to an end, and it would no longer be her choice what would happen next.
She didn’t see any Shadows or conscious people, at least. That meant she was probably free to leave. Chances were that any rumors that spread about her sudden appearance would make it back to the Kirijo Group, so if she wanted to stay away from her sister and her sister’s friends, she needed to make sure those rumors didn’t pop up in the first place.
She managed to curb her desire to look around until she was safely outside and behind the building. Once there, though, she couldn’t help herself. As strange as it was to think, this was her first time really stepping into the world.
Her first impression was that it was brighter than she’d expected. Even within the liminal time named for its lack of light, there was an eerie green glow cast over everything, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. It was a far cry from the harshness of dorm lighting that still couldn’t keep shadows from pooling in every corner.
She hadn’t had long to marvel over it when the Dark Hour ended, and she was nearly brought to her knees by the light of the sun.
This hardly seemed fair. It hadn’t been an hour since she’d gained awareness, which meant that neither aspect of the name was accurate. And people were so loud when they weren’t neatly boxed in their coffins. Not just the talking and laughing and humming, but even their cars whooshing past, the slamming of doors and beep of machinery and general noise of existing.
This was pathetic. She was supposed to be a weapon. She’d thrown herself into battle time and again, even fought the embodiment of all humanity’s negative emotions.
But then, she’d had her sister with her then. Metis hadn’t even wanted to fight Erebus; she needed Aigis to reassure her.
What was it she had said back then? ‘That to live was to push past one’s own weakness,’ or something like that? Maybe it was time for Metis to give it a try. She certainly couldn’t claim to have been living before.
Okay . She was going to face this crowded, overwhelming street, and she was going to be fine. And then maybe she’d even talk to someone, and she would still be fine. She’d figure out what she wanted to do, eventually, and everything would be fine .
…She probably ought to find some clothing first, though. She hadn’t been designed to blend in among humans. Which seemed unjust, given her ultimate role, but she had little enough she could claim as her own as it was. She wasn’t going to let go of something so intrinsic as her basic form just to fit in with others.
There was probably a discussion to be had about the difference between disguising yourself with clothing and altering your mechanical shape. SEES had certainly spent a large amount of time debating similar questions without answers; maybe that was part of living, too. If so, it was an advanced technique, and not one she was interested in spending time on right now. She had an immediate goal. Everything else could come after that.
Several people glanced up at her when she joined the flow of traffic on the sidewalk, but none seemed concerned. Despite everything she’d been through, Metis found herself grateful for human apathy.
Before long, and without any intentional effort on her part, she found herself surrounded by glass-fronted displays of brightly-colored clothing. Perfect.
The teenager at the counter welcomed her automatically as she walked in, eyes wide. “Nice cosplay!” they added after a moment’s hesitation.
“Oh, thank you,” Metis said vaguely, already engrossed in flipping through a rack of skirts. She needed something loose enough to drape over the paneling at her waist; even pulled as close to her frame as she could get it, it wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. Similarly, she might need to find a large hat, though apparently Aigis had gotten away with her headpiece at Gekkoukan for nearly a year.
And that was the issue, wasn’t it? Metis’ interactions with people had all taken place over the course of maybe a week, and they’d all already known about the Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapons. Metis had no idea what normal people were willing to accept, or if she was kidding herself by even trying.
That would have been the advantage of swallowing her pride and going back to SEES, she supposed. Having people she didn’t have to pretend to be human around, people who would give her advice and cover for her if she made a mistake.
And all she’d have to do for their generosity was pretend to be who Aigis thought she was. She didn’t think that was better. At least this way Metis could escape if things went too badly.
She was thinking in circles again, stalling to try to avoid committing to her decision. She took the skirt she was currently holding and a random shirt from a nearby rack and headed for the dressing rooms.
Figuring out how to fit into the clothing was at least a problem she could do something about. The skirt unzipped enough for her to fit it around her torso without issue, and the shirt unbuttoned, so at least she wouldn’t have to try to fit it over her visor. That was probably worth keeping in mind for the future.
With her new outfit secure around her, she looked into the dressing room mirror and promptly burst out laughing. It turned out maybe some thought was necessary for coordinating an outfit after all. Her skirt was hot pink with white polka dots, and the shirt was lime green, neither of which matched with the black metal of her body. The skirt’s poofiness was matched by the sleeves of the blouse, so that she was practically swallowed up by fabric. Her visor rested atop her head like a particularly eccentric pair of sunglasses, completing the look.
It was nothing like anything Aigis would have worn, and nothing like a Shadow, and Metis kind of loved it. The grin on her lips softened into something more hesitant.
Now all she had to do was figure out how to pay for it.