Work Text:
No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”
Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”
His son has been asleep for over an hour but Eddie can’t bring himself to leave the room, afraid if he does that Christopher will disappear and Eddie will find himself standing in front of Buck outside the VA hospital again.
“Why do you have his glasses?”
“M-me and-and Christopher, we were…at the beach.”
It had only been seconds, forty at the most, where he had feared the worst. A dirty and bloodied Buck stumbling over his words as he tried to tell Eddie…
But then over Buck’s shoulder, a woman, a bundle in her arms. A child in an oversized hoodie. But the back of that head, he would know it anywhere. He was certain.
“Christopher?”
“Dad!”
He had kissed his son’s head and locked eyes with Buck.
Is this real? Is he really here, safe and sound?
Buck had looked back in disbelief and then he had dropped, Bobby, Chim, and Hen catching him before he hit the ground, and then he was whisked away into the hospital to be treated. Bobby had come back twenty minutes later while Christopher was being checked over by a harried-looking nurse. Buck was asleep, receiving a transfusion and Maddie had just arrived. She would take him home once he was fixed up.
Eddie could breathe at least one sigh of relief that Buck was, somewhat, okay and being looked after. It meant that once Christopher received the all-clear Eddie could take him home which he was more than eager to do. They had hitched a ride back to the station in Chim’s commandeered postal truck for Eddie to collect his car, and Christopher had been asleep before Eddie had even started the engine.
He had spent the entire drive having to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road and not on his son in the back seat. The last thing Christopher needed after the day he had had was to end up in a wreck because Eddie couldn’t focus.
But once home the real battle had begun. Chris was filthy. Covered from head to toe in mud, sand, dirt, and God knows what else. His cuts and scrapes had been cleaned at the VA but Eddie had wanted to do them again once he got the boy clean. He had woken when Eddie had lifted him out of his car seat and hadn’t objected to being carried up the path and into the house but the moment Eddie had stepped over the threshold into the bathroom Christopher had screamed bloody murder in his father’s ear.
It had taken a compromise of a bath consisting of no more than five inches of water which had turned black after the first rinse, but Christopher had finally gone to bed clean (if somewhat a little retraumatised) a little after two in the morning. An hour later Eddie was still sitting on the floor of his bedroom, perfectly content to just watch his son sleep, knowing he was safe and sound, and in one piece. But his mind kept straying to Buck.
Checking his phone for the first time since they had left the VA hospital Eddie found a message from Maddie, letting him know that Buck had been stitched up and discharged and she had dropped him home shortly after midnight. There was no message from Buck, though.
He dials Buck’s number from memory and listens as the call rings out before redialling, and again it rings out. Eddie frowns and gnaws at the inside of his lip. It’s too late (or too early) to call Maddie and ask how Buck was when she left him. He could just be asleep, Eddie tries to reason with himself, after the day Buck had, fighting the waves and then hours walking the flooded streets of LA looking for Christopher, Eddie wouldn’t blame him if he slept for a month.
But still.
Something niggles at him, and it takes one more call going unanswered for Eddie to make up his mind.
Eddie slips his shoes and jacket back on and grabs the thick fleece blanket from the couch. It’s Christopher’s favorite, the one he always chooses to snuggle under for movie nights. It also happens to be Buck’s favorite and the pair of them can often be found sharing it, Christopher, of course, hogs the majority while Buck settles for one small corner that barely covers a thigh.
Gently pulling the covers off his son Eddie drapes the blanket over him instead before scooping Chris into his arms, adjusting his position so his head is tucked into the crook of Eddie's neck. The boy sleeps through the entire process of Eddie carrying him out of the house and being strapped into his car seat, a testament to just how exhausted he must be after the trauma of the last sixteen hours fighting for his life.
The roads are, thankfully, deserted. The plea from the city council, to refrain from all but essential travel to allow emergency crews to continue the search and recovery mission, has had the desired effect as even at 3 a.m. the traffic in LA can still be heavy. In a fraction of the time it usually takes Eddie pulls into the parking lot for Buck’s apartment building, turning into the first available space and killing the engine. The building is dark same for the light spilling from the windows in the stairwells and Eddie wishes for the first time that Buck’s loft was at the back of the building. At least then he would be able to look up and see if his lights were on. He couldn’t see from the street as he drove past the front of the building and he just wants to see some kind of life from inside. Although, of course, a light on doesn’t mean all is well.
Carefully, Eddie unbuckles Christopher, hoisting him back into his arms, blanket wrapped around him to keep him warm and he locks the truck. The lobby is empty, the doorman long having gone off duty for the night and Eddie makes his way into the elevator, careful not to jostle his sleeping kid as he fumbles for the key in his back pocket.
The main floor is dark when he lets himself in, as is the elevated bedroom, but he can hear the shower running in the downstairs bathroom to his left and a glance at the floor shows a crack of light coming from under the door.
Eddie frowns. Maddie said she had dropped Buck home just after midnight. Buck had been absolutely filthy, caked in dirt and blood, more so than Christopher but then the man had been wandering the streets searching for hours. But surely he can’t still be trying to get clean.
Apprehension settles over Eddie, suffocating him. Something isn’t right, he can feel it in his gut. As he stands in the darkness of Buck’s apartment all sorts of scenarios fill his mind, Buck passed out from blood loss, Buck collapsed in the shower with a brain bleed that had been missed in the hospital, Buck slipping out of sheer exhaustion and smacking his head on the tile.
Quickly as he can without disturbing his son Eddie scales the stairs to Buck’s bedroom, gently lowering Christopher onto Buck’s bed and tucking the blanket back around him. Satisfied that Chris hasn’t woken, and isn’t likely to, he hotfoots it back down to the bathroom and knocks on the door.
“Buck?”
Nothing. He knocks again, a little louder.
“Buck? You in there?”
Still no answer. Eddie grabs the door handle and turns it, bracing himself for what he might find when he opens the door.
The light from the bathroom is almost blinding after the darkness of the rest of the loft and Eddie blinks a few times as his eyes adjust. Steam pours out around him and he instantly starts to sweat at the temperature of the air. The shower must have been running a while for the heat to have built up this much but as the steam starts to clear he makes out the curtain on the combined shower and bathtub. It hangs open revealing no occupant.
Instead, he finds Buck on the floor, back propped against the wall with his legs stuck out in front of him, still dressed in the same dirty and torn clothes. He doesn’t move, doesn’t even seem to register Eddie’s appearance, simply stares straight ahead of him, eyes fixed on some invisible spot on the opposite wall.
“Buck,” Eddie crouches down next to him and gives his shoulder a gentle shake. His head bobs with the motion but he remains unresponsive other than a slow blink. Chris had told him a little about the things he had seen, the destruction, and the people in the water that he didn’t think were just sleeping, but he had mostly told his father about the games Buck had played with him and the jokes they had told each other. Eddie had seen the destruction the tsunami had caused for himself, the bodies floating in the water, the homes and businesses lining the beach that had been destroyed, but it dawned on him that Buck had spent hours searching for one small boy amongst all that destruction.
A boy whom he had no idea was alive or dead.
All day Buck had held his own trauma back while he did all he could to find Christopher, but now that trauma had finally caught up with him.
“I’m here, Buck,” He says softly, running his fingers through Buck’s matted hair, strands catching at the motion. “I’m gonna help you. It’s gonna be okay.”
He waits a moment longer, hoping for some sign that Buck is still in there somewhere but he receives nothing but another slow blink. Rising to his feet Eddie moves to the shower, turning down the heat and plugging the tub, adding a healthy dose of body wash to the water and leaving it to fill before turning back to Buck.
“Let’s get you out of these clothes, yeah?” Eddie says, wanting to make sure he communicates his movements to his friend. The last thing he wants is Buck to suddenly come back and find himself being undressed.
His t-shirt and jeans are beyond saving and Eddie decides the easiest option given Buck’s current condition is going to be to cut them off. He knows there is a pair of clothing sheers in Buck’s first aid and he rummages in the cabinet under the sink to find them.
“Alright, you ready?” Buck’s face stays blank. “Okay, here we go.” Eddie slips the blades over the material of the neckline and cuts down, the sheers passing easily through the fabric down to the hemline at his waist. He pulls the shirt down Buck’s shoulders, slipping his arms out one at a time, and tosses the ruined item out of the door to deal with later.
Buck’s pants pose a new problem, however. With the angle he’s sitting at Eddie is reluctant to start cutting away at them lest he accidently catch Buck’s skin.
“Hey,” He cups a hand around one of Buck’s cheeks and dips his head into the man’s eye line. His gaze is unfocused, eyes unseeing, but Eddie talks to him anyway. “I need to get you off the floor. Think you can stand for me?”
Crouching to one side Eddie slides his hands under Buck’s armpits and heaves. Buck, although virtually catatonic, seems to be pretty compliant, whether there is some residual awareness or it’s simply muscle memory, Buck gets his feet under himself. Eddie keeps a firm hold until he is sure Buck is steady and then takes the sheers to the pants. They fall to the floor with a heavy slap against the tile, weighed down by the sheer amount of muck that coats them. Underneath, Buck’s briefs are just as soiled but Eddie stops there, not wanting to expose Buck any more than necessary.
“Come on,” He takes hold of Buck’s hands and urges him toward the bath. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” It takes a minute to co-ordinate Buck into lifting his leg over the edge of the tub but with some gentle coaxing, Eddie finally manages to lower him in, making sure to get his bandaged right arm out of the water.
Remembering Chris’s meltdown a few hours previously Eddie shuts off the faucet, stopping the water level from getting too high. The muck and dirt have already started to lift from his body, the water steadily turning brown then black as Eddie gently scrubs with a washcloth at the skin he can reach. He works systematically, going limb by limb to start and keeping a constant stream of reassuring, yet one-sided, conversation.
It's as he sponges water through Buck’s hair that Eddie feels the first hint of a shiver, a tremble rippling through the muscles of his neck and shoulders and when he leans back to look at Buck’s face he finds his eyes filled with tears.
“Hey,” Eddie drops the cloth into the dirty water and gently turns Buck’s head to face him. “You back with me?” Buck’s face crumbles, the tears spilling over as a sob escapes him, unfettered and raw.
“Chris?”
“He’s upstairs on your bed,” Eddie soothes. “Fast asleep. He’s okay. As soon as you’re clean and dry you can go see him.”
Buck nods, and it seems that one word is all he can manage. He cries, heavy and heart-wrenching and Eddie pulls him into his arms, not caring that his own clothes are getting soaked.
“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, Buck.”