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Chapter Text

"And now, to conclude the reading of the will of Andreas of Eraklyon with his last wish: In the case of my death, my son Sky of Eraklyon shall be looked after by my colleague and friend Saul Silva."

Saul froze in his chair, his eyes growing wide as several heads in the room turned to him. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Farah sported a similar reaction, her hand slowly sliding on his thigh, the weight and the warmth of it grounding him.

Sky. Andreas wanted him to take care of Sky. This- this couldn't be true. He had to be dreaming, had to have fallen asleep during the god-awfully boring reading of the will. He had killed Andreas; he still felt the warm, sticky blood on his fingers whenever he thought of it. There was no way they trusted him to raise his son. There had to be a mistake.

"In this instance," the reader continued, "there will be a short period of time for you to decide whether you accept the will, Mr. Silva. I do have to ask you to speak to me privately before your departure."

"Of course," he answered, his voice surprisingly steady.

As the rest of the people scrambled out of the room, engaging in eager conversation and shooting one or the other look towards him, he slowly got up, his lost eyes searching for Farah's. All it took was one glance to see the silent support swirling in them, and he knew that she wouldn't hold either decision against him. But that didn't make it easier for him, all the weight of the decision resting on his shoulders, resting there alone.

"What do I do?" he whispered, wanting to reach out to Farah's hand but refraining, his fingers twitching.

Her brows furrowed as she tilted her head. "I don't know."

With a shaky sigh, Saul turned his head towards the lectern before glancing back at Farah, his face falling the slightest bit. He needed her. He couldn't deny it, not even to himself. He needed her there. Looking up at the ceiling and blinking a few times, he grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the reader with him.

"Mr. Silva, hello," the old man said with a friendly voice, holding out his hand to greet him. "My name is Atticus of Eraklyon, I am Andreas' great uncle."

Saul quickly shook the man's hand, never letting go of Farah's cocooned in his other one.

"And you are... ?" Atticus asked, facing Farah.

She smiled slightly, shaking his hand as well. "Farah Dowling. I was part of the battalion as well."

"Nice to meet you both."

"I'm- I'm terribly sorry for your loss," Saul said with downcast eyes.

Atticus smiled kindly, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "It is tragic, but I have never personally met him, hence I am the reader of his will."

"Oh," Saul breathed, wanting nothing more than to run away from this situation. He had no right to be there when he was the one to cause all of it. The guilt soared through his mind, taking it over, almost getting him to bolt, but before he could, the man spoke again.

"Regarding the matter of young Sky, I believe you know the boy?"

"I- we do, yes."

"Good, that's good. Since he has no direct relatives and is an orphan, as you most likely know that his mother tragically died during his birth, there has been a mutual agreement among the family to follow Andreas' will should you accept."

"Okay," Saul muttered, unable to stop his thoughts from spinning. Orphan. He had made little Sky an orphan. That innocent little baby boy they had seen a few times when Andreas hat brought him to visit was an orphan.

"As of now, he is taken care of by nannies, as Andreas', and your, as a matter of fact, job doesn't quite allow a family. I trust you are no longer soldiers or am I misinformed?"

"No, no, we both quit shortly after- after Andreas died," Saul assured, his mind suddenly calm and level, a thin veil keeping his thoughts in check. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a small silver glint in Farah's face before she diverted her gaze to the floor, half-closing her eyes to hide their glowing irises. She kept him calm.

With a soft squeeze of her hand, he silently thanked her as Atticus spoke, "Now, this is my personal opinion on the matter, but I do believe that Sky would profit from the stable environment of a family compared to his current... situation. Are you both considering it?"

"No," Saul answered a bit too forcefully, "we're just friends, I- it would only be me."

"Well, I still believe that an adoption would be a considerable improvement for the boy," Atticus smiled knowingly, glancing down at their entwined hands. "Please, sleep on it, as the saying goes, and I will call you tomorrow for the definite decision."

"Thank you," Saul said, the world slipping into the distance as he tried to digest the words that had been spoken. An improvement. The man believed that he was an improvement for Sky.

"It's still his last will, Saul," Farah mumbled later that evening, her legs pulled up to her chest as she sat on the sofa.

Saul scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he paced up and down his living room. "Not anymore. I killed him, Farah. I killed that child's father."

"No, you killed Rosalind's henchman. Andreas- the real Andreas was gone long before that. Long before even Maravet Falls."

He sighed heavily as he plopped down next to her, resting his head on his arms. "But that's a baby, Fa. Sky can't even walk yet, how am I supposed to know how to take care of him?"

"I don't know," she admitted quietly, reaching out and placing her hand on Saul's shoulder. She shared his worries, his apprehensions, his fear of failing Sky. But, it would be difficult to argue with the court of Eraklyon when one of their dukes so clearly expressed his last will in written form. And even more so when they all believed that the adoption was the right call.

"I'm just so scared of messing this up, of not being enough for Sky," he whispered, meeting her gaze with glazed eyes. "I don't know how to do this alone."

"You don't have to do it alone, you silly man. I'll help you," she murmured, taking his hand in hers and smiling sadly, tears pricking her own eyes.

His widened as he stared at her without answering.

"He needs a female influence. I want the child to know the word shower after all," she chuckled, using the opportunity to try to lighten the mood, to take his mind off the everlasting guilt.

His response was barely a whisper as the shocked expression stayed etched into his face. "Really?"

"Yes. You're my Specialist. We're a team, through thick and through thin."

A genuine smile rose on his lips for a moment before disappearing again, lost in the flurry of his thoughts. He- that was a baby they were talking about. A literal tiny human he was tasked with keeping safe.

"You can do it. You- you'd be great," Farah breathed, feeling his insecurities floating into her chest through the bond.

"You think so?" he whispered, his eyes glistening in the dim light.

"Yes."

Saul leaned back, staring at the ceiling. Perhaps it was a way of atoning, of attempted redemption. If he really was an improvement for Sky... God, Farah had infected him with her baby fever. Those chubby, flushed cheeks were so adorable, he didn't know if he could live with himself knowing he denied him a family. Yet, he was the one to destroy it in the first place, and the guilt ripped him apart. It hadn't even prevented anything, he had been too late.

But Sky, this innocent little guy, he deserved the world. He deserved a loving family. And if he was destined to do that, with Farah's help, then he would do everything in his power to ensure the best possible childhood for Sky.

"Do you really want to help?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly, tears pooling in her eyes. "I would."

"I think I'll do it," he whispered, wrapping her arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. With her next to him, he could do it. Together, they could do it.

"I need to talk to you."

He paced back and forth in his kitchen; it seemed he had to wear groves into the wooden floor until Farah stopped him. "Spit it out, Saul."

He sighed heavily, leaning his hands against the counter, letting his head hang low between his shoulders. "I don't know how to ask this of you."

"As if I could say no to you anyway," she chuckled, trying to assure him with her statement. From what she felt through the bond, however, she had achieved the exact opposite.

He glanced up at her, his face in a weary expression. "Well, that's the problem. It's too big for you to say yes unless you're really sure, and I don't want you tangled up in it if you don't-"

She reached over the counter, placing her hand on his to calm him. "I promise I'll say no, just this once."

Saul straightened his back, walking towards the couch and motioning for her to follow him and sit down as well. Usually, he would have pulled her close in such a situation, but today he purposefully kept a bit of space between them. She needed to be able to dart away if- no, when she realised how much he was asking of her. But he needed to. In three days, the adoption date would be there, and until then, he needed to at least ask. He didn't know what would happen if she took it badly, but he simply needed to know. Evading her questioning gaze, he glanced at his wringing hands in his lap and started talking.

"Alright. I- It feels like I don't- I think it might be better if Sky had two legal guardians. Us both. I know, it's a lot, that's why you need to promise me that you'll say no if you don't want that. I just- the responsibility of caring for a child on my own, even if only on paper, I don't think I can handle that."

Taking a deep breath after practically vomiting the words, he finally met her gaze, finding unshed tears swirling in those gleaming brown eyes of hers. There. He had done it. Ruined their friendship with his request. Why would she say yes?

"Saul..."

He took a deep breath, trying to save the situation, trying to keep their friendship from falling apart. Scrambling for words, he continued, "I understand if you say no, you're not in the will, only me, and it doesn't matter what you answer, I promise nothing will change, not with Sky, not between us. I feel horrible just asking for it, because-"

She slid closer to him, taking his fidgeting hands into hers and leaning down to find his downcast eyes. "Saul, stop. We're a team. We made that promise over a decade ago..." Taking a deep breath, she stated, "I'll do it."

He was physically taken aback, a bewildered expression settling on his face. Why would she say yes? "Are you sure?"

She smiled tearfully, a small chuckle escaping her. "Yes, I am."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's a lot, it's huge, but Sky- I love that child. I would do the same for Sam."

The smile crept onto Saul's face as well, his brows softening as he slowly realised that she had actually agreed to it. "The two of them growing up together does seem kind of lovely, doesn't it?"

"Yes," she whispered, the emotion clear in her voice. She ran a hand through her hair, averting her gaze to fight the tears that rose again.

"Sorry for asking again, but are you really sure? We're adopting a child here."

"I'm sure, Saul. I promise. We're adopting a child."

"But why? Why are you agreeing?" he asked softly, taking her hand in his and opening his arms to her as he so clearly sensed the turmoil of her mind in his own.

She accepted his invitation, sliding into his embrace with a sigh and nuzzling her head against his neck. "It seems right. I feel responsible too, you know. And I know how you have absolutely no idea of how to take care of a baby, so the least I can do is to try to help."

Saul's breath caught in his throat as he listened to her. In his mind, she was perfect, and he loved her so much. Maybe one day, he would finally tell her, maybe then they could be an actual family. With Sky. Just thinking of the boy made a stubborn warmth creep into his chest, fighting with the black guilt, but the golden warmth was still there, residing right next to the equally golden string that connected him with Farah.

"What should he call us? Sky, I mean?" Saul asked quietly, pulling her even closer.

"I don't know. We probably shouldn't take his real parents' place."

"How about Auntie and Uncle?" he asked softly. "We've always been that, why not just keep those names?"

"That sounds good," Farah breathed as she sat up with a small smile, wiping her cheek. "I'll go and drink something, do you want something as well?"

And so, a few weeks later, Farah found herself in Saul's living room as he had gone out to do the grocery shopping, Sky sleeping in her arms as she slowly swayed back and forth in the rocking chair, his head cupped against her chest by her hand. The domesticity of it all still felt so strange and unfamiliar. Andreas's little boy. How unfair the world was for him. Both parents dead, his care now lying in hands smeared with blood, so much innocent blood.

With a bitter smile, Farah distinctly remembered a late-night conversation with Saul where she had admitted to him how scared she was of dying. If only she had known that now, roughly a year later, it was what she longed for at night, a quiet voice inside her trying to persuade her to end it all. She knew that Saul heard it too, the voice, that it yelled in his nightmares as it did in hers. That he woke up in cold sweats the same way she did, that more often than not, they went to sleep in separate beds and ended up waking in the same, desperate for the smallest spark of understanding and mutual support.

And it terrified her that they were both sliding down the spiral, walking along the edge of the cliff, tauntingly dangling their feet from it and balancing right next to the endless abyss. It terrified her that they both needed each other for support they couldn't give. Back when only Saul had admitted that the darkness pulled him under, that he would smile at the approaching train, she had been able to keep his head above water, to pull him up and to keep him going. She knew he did it for her.

But now, the current which had caught Saul had gotten too strong, and in her attempts to hold on to his hand under any circumstance, she had fallen into the endless ocean as well, pulled under by guilt that hung on her ankles like cement. And there was no energy left in her to try to swim. Her legs were numb, her arms clawing on to Saul, both trying to push the other up, failing to keep themselves afloat in the process.

And in the middle of it all, Sky splashed around with his pudgy little hands, having found himself there by chance, sitting on the shore and giggling while trying to collect seashells in his childish innocence.

Farah's heart broke for him even though she thought that all of its pieces had been scattered by now. If it wasn't for him, Saul and she would have probably jumped off the cliff hand in hand already. But Sky was there, those happy blue eyes that looked at them without a care in the world, his pure mind light and airy, completely lacking the maze of darkness, radiating its current clear emotion so fully and thoroughly like only a toddler could.

Sky sitting on the shore was the single thing to give her the power to thrash her legs against the weight, to pull herself towards him, towards the edge of the water. Someone needed to help him find seashells after all. And they were all he had.

Farah looked down at the sleeping mop of blonde hair that rested in her arms, one of her hands holding the back of his head, her thumb subconsciously stroking back and forth in even, gentle motions.

Her heart raced in her chest as she failed to calm herself, to be the steady influence Sky needed. Her heart raced in her chest as it suffered the strain of trying to swim, weighed down by leaden guilt. Her heart raced in her chest as she thought about Ben and Rose and little Sammy on the other side of the realm, trying not to imagine the pain they were in as well.

Her heart raced in her chest, but that was at least better than allowing it to fulfil its wish of silencing forever.

Its pounding against her ribcage reminded her that she was alive, that deep down, she didn't want to die, that she had the option of ignoring the dark voice that narrated her most horrifying thoughts. And she would claw her way to the shore if it was the last thing she did, and she would somehow pull Saul along too. For Sky. All of what they did was for Sky.

That little boy had stumbled into her life, into their lives, and he enchanted everyone who looked at him with that adorably bright smile of his. She had fallen madly in love with him the first time Andreas had shown him to them, though the smiles on their faces had been larger than the one on his. Sky had been the first baby she had seen in such a long time, and she had been completely entranced with him, the grin almost splitting her face in half when she had been offered to hold him for a while.

Having a family had seemed so impossible as she had grown into her job as a soldier, so trivial and unreachable. Yet, the silent longing for it had always simmered in the back of her mind, resurfacing with an alarming intensity once Sam and later Sky had come along, beacons of light in their bleak lives spent on the battlefield. Suddenly, a family hadn't seemed so impossible anymore, and in the rare quiet moments she found few and far in between, she had allowed her mind to wander, to imagine. Letting herself explore the desire of being a mother, something she had always secretly dreamed of without ever letting herself fully succumb to the notion, had put her in a place of immense vulnerability. And vulnerability was something she avoided if she could.

But when she had watched Saul interact with the boys, she had fallen even more in love with him, which she hadn't thought was possible, albeit the pulling and fluttering in her stomach the testament to its unwavering reality. And in those quiet moments, it had taken all she had to keep her mind from straying to the image of him holding another baby. Theirs.

Those moments had never ended well, always confronting her with the harsh certainty that he couldn't possibly love her or ever see her in that way. He had seen all the ugly sides of her, had seen her in battle, had seen her kill. There was no way he could ever feel like that for her, and she tried her hardest to keep that from affecting her too much, only allowing herself the odd teary mess once in a blue moon.

Sky sighed softly in her arms, snuggling closer and nuzzling his head into her chest. Her fingers instinctively started drawing soothing circles once more, pulling him closer as well. Her thoughts wandered towards him again, her subconscious devotion to him overwhelming her. When Andreas' will had happened and Saul had asked for her help, there hadn't been the smallest doubt in her heart. She loved that boy, and if there was a chance to be in his life, she would take it. And now, she and Saul were that child's main caregivers; they tried their best, but Sky deserved so much better than them, than the bloodied hands that handled him. It felt almost like one last slight of Rosalind, her cold voice cackling at her. So close to the dream of her own family, the one Rosalind had disapproved of the most, and yet so far. Sky, a child, whose parents had died, one of them through Saul's hand. And Saul, a... what was he, what were they? She wished for so much more, but they were just friends, their lines clear as ever, yet so blurry. Their signatures sat next to each other on Sky's adoption papers, yet she was a guest in his house, sleeping in separate rooms, living separate lives. Just friends.

And what did she deserve after everything she had done? Certainly not happiness.

She was still lost deeply in her thoughts when Saul opened the door, her eyes staring ahead in their haze without seeing. As if in a trance, she didn't notice his approach, his called greeting and the click of the door shutting.

With a sharp inhale, she startled as his hand landed on her shoulder, his face terribly concerned as he knelt in front of her. On instinct, she clutched Sky more tightly to her chest before deflating again, leaning her head back against the rocking chair.

"Farah? Are you alright?"

She nodded, her body weighed down by an unbearable emptiness that had replaced every feeling.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," she breathed, not trusting her voice and shrugging lightly.

The frown on his face told her everything she needed to know; he didn't believe a single word she said. How could he, when the bond inevitably connected them?

"Just lost in my thoughts," she whispered, forcing a small smile on her face.

Chapter Text

"Well, you need something to do, don't you?" Luna said nonchalantly, not even looking up from the paper on her desk.

Farah stared at her, speechless, frozen in the chair across from her. Her heartbeat echoed in her head. A whole school. She was supposed to run a whole school when she could barely get up in the morning to take care of the ten month old baby that had appeared in her life a few weeks ago.

Luna finally looked up, folding her hands and leaning back in her chair, exuding an air of perfect countenance. "Well, it's quite practical, your course of action. With Rosalind in stasis, thanks to you and your plant friend, what was his name? Tim? Anyway, with Rosalind in stasis, you can always just hide her away somewhere until you have the guts to actually do something about her, and that does not include a trial or anything of the sort. It's all about appearances, my dear Farah, you should know that. As far as I'm concerned, Rosalind mysteriously disappeared during the tragic accident that occurred at Aster Dell. And since I intend to fill the vacancy as fast as possible, why not turn to someone who very recently lost her job, but has conveniently spent the last decade under the last headmistress?"

"Luna...," Farah started quietly, but was quickly cut off.

"It's your majesty for you as well," Luna said, her voice full of disdain.

Farah raised her eyebrows, barely keeping her jaw from dropping. If Luna was poisonous, then she could be too. "We slept in the same suite for five years, and without me, you would have barely graduated."

"And yet, I am still your queen," Luna spat, venom lacing her voice like it had so often towards the end of their school years as she had grown jealous of Farah and her success.

Farah smiled sweetly, tilting her head to the side. "Well then, your majesty, I refuse."

"No, you won't," Luna said more quietly, taken aback, a glare dancing in her eyes that so very clearly masked her anxiety as she sat up straighter.

The countless hours they had spent in each other's company served Farah well in that moment, able to decipher all of Luna's emotions without ever having to prod against her mental barrier. Which she had taught her to uphold. Taking a deep breath to steady herself against the anger bubbling up inside her at Luna's condescension, she repeated her point. "Yes, I will."

Luna placed her elbows on her desk, discreetly rubbing her fingers over her collarbones. She was scared. No wonder, Farah thought to herself, she had to prove her worth as queen to the realm after having worn the crown for barely a year so far.

"Look, Farah," she sighed, her pride slowly deflating, the Luna Farah had known for years starting to poke through the mask of aloofness. "Someone needs to run Alfea, because you so very conveniently hindered the former headmistress of continuing her work. I'm willing to acknowledge that removing Rosalind was a necessary step that I would have taken at a suitable time had you not liberated me from having to do so, but there needs to be a replacement. And in this moment, you are the only fitting candidate I would entrust with this position."

"I'm not sure I am as fitting as you believe," Farah said quietly, staring at her hands that sat neatly in her lap before meeting Luna's gaze that had softened considerably.

"You can't possibly have forgotten the years you spent tutoring anyone who crossed your path."

"With all due respect, your majesty, people change," Farah stated coldly, the confidence in her voice betraying the turmoil within her. Pros and Cons floated around in the crashing waves of her emotions, flung through her chest while her hammering heart simply wanted to stop beating.

A hint of an expression flitted across Luna's face as she averted her eyes. Was it hurt? Farah had to physically stop herself from scrunching her nose in confusion as to what could possibly have upset the queen now.

Clearing her throat and finding her distant regal voice again as she stood from her seat, Luna continued, "People never truly change, no matter what they tell themselves. I will give you time to consider the offer."

Farah stood as well, clearly picking up on the dismissal in the queen's tone. "I will notify you with my decision in the next days."

"I can only implore you to accept." With slow, deliberate steps, Luna rounded her desk and led them towards the door of her office.

"Your majesty," Farah said as a form of goodbye as she slightly bowed her head before retreating from the office and leaning against the wall of the corridor for a moment to collect her thoughts.

Luna wanted her as Headmistress of Alfea. She wanted her to run an entire school, to care for hundreds of teenagers who, if Rosalind's methods hadn't changed, were on the road to be as broken as she was. And she had Sky and Saul, she had to be there for Sky. He needed her like she needed him, after all that happened, she didn't want to shake his life up again by removing herself from it. And she simply didn't want to leave them; she couldn't bear it.

But Luna was right. For as long as she could remember, she had loved teaching, and she really had tutored every person that had crossed her path during her school years, solely responsible for at least five graduations that wouldn't have been possible without her. Saul being one of them, she thought with a small smile.

And perhaps Luna was right in another regard as well; she needed something to do. She needed to busy her mind to stop it from drowning in its own sorrows.

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear it of the racing thoughts, she started walking towards the main entrance of the palace.

It had started raining during her meeting with the queen, quite heavily in fact. Throwing up a makeshift umbrella with her magic as soon as she stepped outside, she rushed to her car, slamming the door shut behind her and hastily starting the motor, unsure why she found herself running out of time. With spinning wheels, she drove off the palace grounds, the gravel crunching loudly as she passed through the large gates, across the highway through the Solarian capital and landed on the quiet road leading to Saul's house.

The downpour had gotten even worse, taking her sight, her windshield wipers barely able to keep the water at bay as she sped through the forest. Lost in thought, the car picked up more and more speed as she tightly gripped the steering wheel, the heavy drops of water banging and rattling loudly. In her haze, she noticed a curve in the road far too late, her eyes widening as she hit the brakes after a moment's hesitation.

A cold shiver rippled down her spine as the car slid on the slick road, coming to a halt after spinning almost entirely around its axis. Merely an arm’s length separated her from the large tree that towered over her next to the driver's window. Her hands still firmly planted on the steering wheel, she stared ahead, frozen in place as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She had hesitated. For a split second, the thought of not braking had crossed her mind, and it would have only taken a split second more for her to hit the tree. She had actually hesitated.

With a shaky sigh, she brought her trembling hand to her mouth, shock coursing through her veins like ice, numbing her fingertips and letting her foot continue to press the brake like her life depended on it. This had to stop.

People never truly changed, that was what Luna had said, and she had been right. With the tree looming over her like a last warning, the Farah who was afraid of dying young found its way to the surface again, clashing harshly with the morbid longing for it. This had to stop. Driving much too fast in the rain on the slippery foliage, hesitating before saving herself, not knowing whether she would remove herself from harm's way.

She couldn't keep living like that. That was it. She couldn't keep living like that. It wasn't the living that was the problem, it was everything else. The guilt, the despair, the feeling of being useless, the distance to Ben and Rose. Those were the problems, not living. And it had taken a stare-off with death for her to realise that.

She started furiously thrashing in the sea of despair once more, trying her best to fight the iron weights on her ankles as she remembered the pact she and Saul had made.

Getting out of this alive together. The fight wasn't over yet, even though the battlefield was a cruel memory by now. It had only just begun, but she needed to fight. They needed to fight.

Slowly and with shut eyes, she removed her foot from the brake, starting the car again with a trembling hand. After a deep breath, her lids fluttered open and she slowly reversed onto the road, giving herself a moment to breathe as the car safely sat on it once more. The heavy downpour still pattered against the roof, and with a slight tremor in her knee, she gently let her foot down on the gas pedal, letting the car roll forward at walking pace.

A few moments later, she had gotten to a slightly higher speed, yet still not daring to drive even half as fast as she had before.

A sole tear slipped down her cheek as she slowly approached Saul's house.

Casting a glowing blue shield around herself, she unlocked the front door, trying to make as little noise as possible despite the auditory barrier that made her undetectable even for Sky's attentive ears that were supposed to be napping at that time.

With a deep sigh, she pushed the wooden door open, engulfed by the warmth of the house that brought new tears to her eyes. Everything seemed so much easier here. She wanted to continue living, if only for the wave of comfort that rolled over her every time she stepped over that threshold. She wanted to continue living.

From the staircase, heavy footsteps approached as she put away her coat and purse before dissolving her shield.

"Hello," he greeted quietly, a small smile forcing its way on his face.

Farah looked at Saul for a moment before stepping towards him, throwing her arms around his body and pulling him close in a crushing hug. He stiffened in her grip before she felt him melt into her embrace, his arms sliding around her shoulders as he reciprocated the gesture.

"Are you alright, Fa?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

She nodded into his shoulder before pulling away, taking a deep breath. "We need to- I need to talk to you."

"Alright."

A few moments later, they found themselves on his sofa, talking in hushed voices as Sky's baby monitor sat on the coffee table. It was crazy that they now owned a baby monitor when mere months ago, they had battled Burned Ones, Farah thought before explaining, "I- we cannot keep living like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me talk please, everything at once, without interrupting me. I need to get it all out, because I don't know if I'll be able to again."

He gave a small nod, pure concern swirling in his eyes and leeching through the bond.

"I almost got in a car wreck on the way back here," she started, keeping her voice as calm as possible.

"Wha-" Saul's eyes ripped open, his mouth on instinct opening to ask for further details, shutting again after seeing her pleading look.

"I- I drove too fast and it was raining, then I lost control of the car, and for a moment..." Farah's voice broke, continuing only in a whisper. "For a moment, I thought about what would happen if I didn't brake. It was only for a moment before I did, but it was so close. It was so close, Saul."

Tears rose in her eyes at the fresh memory, but she shook her head, willing herself to continue. She had to get this out.

"I- I think that I realised that I- I might have thought that ending everything is the best solution, and I can feel that you sometimes think that too, but I realised that I don't want to die. I want to keep living, just- just not like this. We need to change something, Saul, and if it's only for Sky. But we need to get out of this alive, remember? The night at- at Maravet Falls?"

Saul stared at her with glistening eyes, nodding shakily.

"We need to survive this," she breathed, letting herself fall into the cushions of the sofa as she deflated, her trembling hand moving to her forehead as her breath hitched and the adrenaline of the almost-crash finally subsided. What it left her with was a strangled sob, followed by the tears she had held back for so long, far longer than since the incident that day.

Saul immediately wrapped her in a warm embrace, placing a kiss in her hair and softly shushing her, trying to calm her by rocking back and forth. "Shh, Fa. You're alright. Nothing happened, right?"

She shook her head, her face in a grimace as her eyes were shut. Saul's heart clenched at the sight and at hearing Farah's words. She was right. They needed to be shaken out of their trance, out of the permanent guilt and find a way to atone for it.

"Shh, I'm here. Everything's alright now. You're right, you know. We do need to change something, because I also want to keep living. I don't know how, not yet, but we'll do it together."

Sitting back up, Farah wiped her eyes, silently longing to stay in Saul's embrace forever, but lingering would cross a sacred line between them, one that neither had ever dared to fully surpass, and one that neither of them was stable enough to touch at the moment.

With a sigh and a soft nod, she leaned back into the pillows, closing her eyes.

Saul mirrored her actions, clearing his throat before quietly asking, "What was the meeting with Luna about?"

Farah stared ahead at the bookshelves she had filled with all of her favourite books next to his years ago when Saul had bought the house. "She- she wants me to be the Headmistress of Alfea."

With wide eyes and a small smile on his face, Saul answered, "W- wow! I- I can't say that that surprises me. That's great, Fa!"

"I don't know if I- if I'm able to care for so many students when I can barely care for myself."

"Maybe that's what you need to change. Go back to what you truly love doing. To teaching."

Her gaze remained fixed on her fidgeting fingers, her thoughts racing in her head, but unable to procure an answer.

"You're perfect for the role, Fa."

"Do you think so?" she asked full of heartbreaking uncertainty.

"Yes, I know it. And maybe- maybe you could see it as a way of atoning. Rebuilding Alfea to be the place we never had. I know that you've always dreamed of making it a safe space during our school years, a home without Rosalind and her horrors."

With a nod, she finally looked up at him, tears swimming in her eyes. "But you and Sky- I won't leave you."

"We'll manage," he chuckled, trying to hide his distress at the thought of her leaving, if only an hour south. If she wanted to take on the position, he would be the last person to stand in her way.

Farah looked at him intently, as if she was searching his face for something specific before mumbling, "Would you come with me?"

"I- Is that possible?"

"Well, Luna said that I'm her only real candidate for the position, and she- she rather wants me to take it, she was quite adamant."

"Which gives you the upper hand," Saul smirked at his cunning fairy, pride bubbling up inside him. She was the ideal candidate, and her current train of thought only proved it.

"It does. So if she wants me, she'll have to deal with some claims from my side. And the first one would be that you two would come with me. I mean, only if you want to."

"Of course I do, Fa. I would never want you to leave if there's something to be done about it."

With a bright smile as a response, she was about to lean in for another hug as the baby monitor started blaring, interrupting the moment. Sky cried loudly through the speaker, jolting both Saul and Farah up within the blink of an eye. Together, they rushed upstairs to the guest room that had been transformed into a nursery, nearing the source of the wails.

With a small smile, Saul let Farah push the door open two steps ahead of him, watching from the doorframe as she gently scooped the boy reaching for her into her arms, swaying softly from side to side.

With a kiss on his head, she cooed, "Hello, my sweet boy. Shh, you're alright, darling, I'm here. Auntie's here, love. Did you sleep well, little man? Oh, you did? You did?"

Saul couldn't help the smile that stretched his face as Sky calmed and started giggling as Farah softly tickled him. In the pit of his stomach, the guilt still rested like a boulder, dragging him down into his own despair, but at the same time, he was slowly coming to accept his fate. What had happened with Andreas would always haunt him, and he knew that he would probably never fully forgive himself for killing that little baby's father. Yet, he noticed more and more how happy the boy seemed to grow in their care, how he clung to them after being passed around from nanny to nanny for the first few months of his life. Maybe that really was his way of atoning; caring for Sky as a last act of faith towards Andreas, ensuring the best possible childhood for the boy.

And seeing Farah interact so naturally with him, seeing her so at ease and so entranced with his features and laughs was just an added bonus, the cherry on top. Sky truly was their reason to go on, and they both knew it.

The morning sun dipped the small garden into golden light as Farah stood on the terrasse, a shawl draped over her shoulders and a pulsating shield warding off the biting February cold. Her phone was pressed against her cheek, the dial tone beeping loudly against the silence of the world.

"Hello?" Ben's voice called a few moments later.

"Ben, hello."

"Farah! How are you, my dear?" he said happily, a small squeal sounding in the background. "Oh, yes, Sammy, that's Auntie Farah! Say hello to her!"

Sam's adorable little giggles sounded through the speaker as he babbled, "An-i Fafa!"

"Hello, my little darling! How are you, sweetheart?"

"An-i Fafa Tah-bie!" he yelled into the phone, resulting in a sharp sting in Farah's ear.

"Sorry about that, he really wants to show you his new teddy bear, his name is Tubby," Ben laughed, placing the phone against his cheek. "How are you?"

Better now, Farah thought to herself. It was incredible what those two little boys could do to her. One little giggle from Sky or an excited squeal from Sam were enough to erase her worries, if only for a moment. "Good. How are you? How is Rose?"

"We're good, she's happy as a button, convinced that it's a little girl. And you know what they say, always trust a mother's instinct. Is there anything you need?" Ben asked with his gentle voice. Farah knew that they also struggled, but Ben somehow seemed to have freed himself from the heavy guilt much easier than them. Probably Rose's doing, Farah supposed.

"I- I actually wanted to ask you something. Well, first, there's something I need to tell you; I had a meeting with Luna yesterday, and... and she wants me to be the new Headmistress of Alfea."

"Farah, that's incredible! Do you want to take the position?"

"Well, at first I didn't, but I talked to Saul and he convinced me that it may actually be a good idea."

"It's an amazing idea, dear, there's no one who could do it better than you. Though that situation does remind me of a similarly big decision of which you convinced Saul, and now I dare say that you're both quite happy with your little boy," Ben chuckled.

"Thank you," Farah whispered, unable to wipe the small smile off her face. "It does feel like a déjà-vu, doesn't it? That's where you come into play. Luna may or may not have given me the upper hand in that situation because she's rather dependant on my yes, so I believe that I might be in a position to negotiate very much in my favour. And I wanted to ask you if you would like to come to Alfea with us, all of you. I would still need a deputy and a botany teacher, and there's no one I trust more for the role."

"Really? I'm honoured, Fa."

"I want to make Alfea the place we never had when we were young," she continued quietly. "I guess it's an attempt of redemption, in a way. Undoing at least one of Rosalind's actions."

"And if someone can do that, it's you," he said, the smile clearly audible through the line. "But you know that I still need to discuss it with Rose. I think I would like to, though. It's perhaps a good way to ease my own guilt as well."

"Take your time, and tell me any requests you have for Luna. If she doesn't fulfil them, I won't say yes, and she needs me to."

"You cunning thing," he chuckled through the phone, resulting in a smile on Farah's face as well. "Tell me, what else is going on with you three?"

A few days later, Farah entered the kitchen where Saul was cooking lunch with Sky, the smell of which overwhelmed her. She still struggled with food, but it was another thing they had changed. No more skipping meals. A living body needed fuel.

Clearing her head of the thoughts, focusing on the news rather than the steaming pot of pasta, she announced, "I have successfully negotiated every single one of our wishes."

"Really?" Saul asked, a smile on his face.

Farah nodded, "Yes, really. We're going to Alfea again, I can't believe that I'm saying it."

"It does sound pretty weird," he agreed with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around her in a warm hug. "I'm proud of you, Fa."

Judging by her blinding smile, he had said precisely the right thing.

And so it happened that merely a few months later, two families moved onto the Alfean grounds, one by blood and one by choice. Farah had really made every single one of her claims a reality through unwavering negotiations. She got to bring Saul, Sky and the Harveys along, which was the most important thing for her. The rest of her requests were in a way also to test the waters and to see how much she would be able to allow herself once in that position, and it seemed that it was quite a bit. The Harveys got a cottage next to the school to live in, Saul received a spacious suite in the Specialist's hall and a promise of a position should he want one. Ben got to teach botany. And Farah had managed to persuade Luna to rip out everything in the Headmistress' suite and the office, removing every trace of Rosalind from those rooms, leaving Farah to furnish and decorate them to her liking.

Yet, as August receded, taking with it the last remnants of summer, the first day of her duty as headmistress neared; and with it, the anxiety grew, suffocating her with her well-known friend called fear of failure. What if she failed? What if she had been right all along, too calloused and too broken to guide young souls through this terrible, terrible world? What if she turned into her?

Chapter Text

Farah sat on the couch in her new office, her legs curled up underneath her, her heels long forgotten by her desk after several minutes of pacing up and down the room. Saul sat next to her, watching her stare into her glass of whiskey, listlessly swirling the liquid around, sloshing it from side to side while her eyes remained unblinking.

"It will be alright, Fa."

"You don't know that," she murmured, not looking up from the tumbler. The anxiety for tomorrow radiated off her in strong waves. Tomorrow the students would arrive, and then she would make her final debut as the new headmistress. Then she would be the one in charge, one of the youngest people to ever be. And the thought of failing terrified her, he knew that. She was desperate to prove her worth, and it was eating her up from the inside.

"I don't, but I believe in it. I believe in us, in you."

She finally met his gaze with her gleaming brown eyes that enchanted him so easily, and it ripped at his heart to see them glistening in the dim glow of her desk lamp, swimming with unshed tears.

With a shaky sigh, she forced the corners of her mouth to stop drooping as he shifted his position to face her, softening his gaze and his voice. "Come here."

Immediately obliging, Farah leaned against him, letting her head fall to his shoulder, melting into his side. His chest constricted, for one because of the undeniable tremor in her body as she so desperately tried to hold back her emotions, and also because he didn't dare to breathe anymore.

Farah was leaning against him, and he wanted to avoid disrupting her comfort at any cost. He never wanted her to leave again, deciding that this was where she belonged. In his arms. And if it meant that he would never move his body again, not even an inch, only to prevent startling her and making her close off again after being reminded of her open vulnerability, then so be it.

"It will be alright. We'll figure it out together, okay? You'll do a great job, I'm sure of it," he assured with a gentle voice, turning his head so he murmured into her hair.

"And what if I don't?" she whispered into the silence, staring ahead at her desk without seeing, her fidgeting fingers resting on his thigh.

Saul's lips curled into a frown, frustration settling on his face. Frustration at the world for making his incredible Farah feel like she wasn't good enough, when she was so much more than anyone deserved. At Rosalind, for her despicable actions that still hung heavily in the air around them, dragging them down and suffocating them, which only worsened Farah's doubts in herself.

"That won't happen, Fa."

Her voice was barely above a shaky breath, small and frail, but her next statement finally broke his heart. "And what if I turn into her?"

There it was, the true reason for her anxiety. But how could she think that? How could she look at herself in the mirror, at this wonderful, kind and caring person, and see even a sliver of danger of turning into Rosalind?

"Farah. You won't turn into her, that isn't even a possibility. I know you, I have known you for more than a decade now, and you are far too caring and concerned for that to ever happen. I promise."

"Will you tell me if I do? Turn into her, you know?"

"There will be no need, but yes. I promise. If that makes you feel better, then I will be your personal warning system," he chuckled warmly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Thank you," she answered, and he was satisfied to find her voice considerably lighter than just a few seconds ago.

He would do anything for her, and if alerting her to changes in her personality was what she wanted from him, then so be it. He would be her alarm bell, the same way she was his when it came to Sky. She had promised him that she would tell him if he wasn't a good father, and simply knowing that a second pair of eyes was looking on helped tremendously in shouldering the burden.

Farah's head still rested on his shoulder, longer than it ever had before. Her proximity sent tingles through his stomach, his skin burning at her touch. But their friendship was sacred, and he would never do anything to jeopardise it, because he was sure that she didn't return his feelings. Why would she? She was Farah Dowling, she could have anyone she wanted, so there was no need for her to settle for him.

Pushing those thoughts from his mind, he focused on the current situation and the calm that had settled in her office. Despite their nerves and their worries regarding the next day, that moment was as tranquil as could be. And he didn't want to interrupt it, he really didn't, but his arm had gone numb over the past minutes, and despite his vow not to move ever again, the urge to shift his position was becoming stronger and stronger.

After fighting it for another few minutes, he finally gave in and lifted his arm slightly, rolling his shoulder. As he had predicted, Farah's head immediately jerked back and she sat up, staring at her hands, a blush spreading on her cheeks. He had startled her in her vulnerability, and now the moment was gone.

With a small frown, he stretched out his arm, reaching her shoulders just as she wanted to get up from the sofa. "Farah, wait. Come back here."

She looked at him and his invitation, tilting her head slightly. "I should get some more work done..."

"No, come here. You already finished everything."

With a small smile, he watched her look at him with a bewildered expression before remembering that she had told him that everything was done already. She mirrored his expression, a hint of guilt flitting across her face at being caught in her lie to get out of the situation before slowly sliding back towards him, gently leaning her head on his shoulder once more. From the corner of his eye, Saul saw the adorable smile that stretched her cheeks as she allowed herself a second time of his comfort. This time, Saul had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, properly pulling her close and embracing her with his warmth. As soon as she had settled, fully snuggled into his side, the moment was repaired, the tranquillity there as though it had never left. Saul smiled at that, incredibly grateful for the unspoken connection between them, the many years spent side by side, facing challenges as a team and sharing their lives that allowed this to happen. Picking up where they had left off in their comfortable silence seamlessly.

"I'm proud of you, Fa," he whispered, unwilling to fully break the silence, lightly pulling her even closer.

"You are?" she breathed, stiffening in his arms for a moment.

"Yes. Of course I am. As long as I'm alive, you'll always have someone to be proud of you."

She deflated in his embrace, the corners of her mouth tugging downwards. He was proud of her. And those words stirred something in her she had long avoided. Tears pooled in her eyes which she quickly shut, trying to keep them at bay.

Saul dropped a kiss into her hair before resting his cheek against her head, sighing softly. A small murmur came from his shoulder, widening his smile even more. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Anytime," he whispered back, leaning his head against hers and pulling her even closer.

In his chest, her feelings slowly stilled, the crashing waves of hers starting to match the soft gurgling of his.

As she lay there, resting in his arms, she let her eyes fall closed, revelling in his steady presence and his consistent heartbeat. She had never felt as safe as in his embrace anywhere else, and their proximity and his warmth made her stomach flutter. If only she had the courage to admit to him how much she actually loved him, how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life like that. In his arms. How much his comment meant to her.

Tomorrow would be stressful, full of anxiety and responsibility, especially for her, but in that moment, none of that mattered. They had each other, and as long as they did, they would get through anything. Even the chaos that inevitably awaited them.

A few weeks later, Saul found himself in front of Farah’s office at night once again, carrying a tray of food to her. It was the only way she’d eat.

He entered without knocking, knowing that she despised it when he did. It made her feel alienated, in charge, like she was above him in the school’s hierarchy. She was, but she wasn’t ready to face that yet. And he wasn't sure if she would ever be.

“Hey, Fa, brought you dinner. Doris made spaghetti today,” he announced with a smile that quickly fell from his face as he saw her.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking up for a second with a frown that was quickly replaced by an empty smile. “I'm sorry, I didn’t realize that I missed dinner again.”

Her hand hovered above a half graded exam, the pen bobbing from side to side as she let her fingers play with it as a distraction. As Saul truly looked at her, her face, only illuminated by the soft light of her desk lamp, his heart clenched. In every part of her face, exhaustion had settled, her eyes glancing at him with tired bags underneath. Her lips seemed tight and her shoulders slumped forward. Nothing about her resembled the invincible headmistress she always tried to be.

“It’s past eight and bloody dark outside, you didn’t notice that?” Saul chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“I just wasn’t hungry.”

That was what she always said. Not hungry. The problem was that she hadn’t really been hungry in a long time, ever since Aster Dell had happened almost one and a half years ago. She had followed their agreement and had eaten at least two meals a day, but she was struggling.

"Farah, I'm worried about you," he said quietly, setting the dinner tray on the coffee table, walking over to her desk. "You need to take more breaks."

"I'm fine,” she answered offhandedly, chewing her lip, gaze fixed on the paper in front of her, holding her pen tightly. So tightly, in fact, that her knuckles shone white.

"You aren’t," he insisted, placing his hands on hers and twisting the pen from her grip, setting it down gently. "Tell me what's wrong."

She finally met his gaze, withstanding it for a moment before her eyes got watery. She looked down again, trying her best to force the tears away. Saul’s heart broke in his chest, constricting tightly. She always bottled her feelings until she couldn’t take it anymore, and he felt so utterly powerless, watching her repeat it time and time again. Ever since she had become Headmistress, it had gotten even worse. She started to convince herself that she needed to be invincible, that she needed to be composed and perfectly stoic at all times, even behind closed doors. Only Sky still managed to coax her out of her shell, making the real Farah shine through. Sometimes, Saul worried that she had fallen back into old habits, with her proximity to the wreck that was Rosalind's legacy. Sometimes, it felt like she was right back in those dark weeks after Aster Dell.

“Look at me.”

She raised her head, all resolves gone. The corners of her mouth pulled down, clearly against her will, as tears pooled in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

A tear rolled down her cheek which Saul gently wiped away with his thumb.

"I don't know. I-." Another sob came from her lips, another tear found its way down her face.

Saul got up, rounding the desk with quick strides, pulling her into his arms. “Shh, I'm here, Fa, I'm here. It's okay."

Oh, how often he wished to be able to take her pain like she could with his. To relieve her of it, to see her freed from its chains. He hated seeing her like this, unable to do anything about it.

She was strong, stronger than most, but even the great Farah Dowling was only a fairy, could only take so much. And the stress of running a school full of hormonal teenagers was wearing her out right before his very eyes.

The only thing he could do was to be there, to provide support when she inevitably broke, finally seeking solace in someone else’s arms. And he was grateful every time she chose his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his chest as Saul slowly stroked up and down her trembling back to calm her.

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Now, do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“It’s stupid, it’s nothing. And I’m stupid for crying about it.”

“Hey, don’t talk about my favourite fairy like that!”

Farah laughed into his chest with a sniffle before leaning back and looking at him. “I didn’t even mention Ben.”

Saul chuckled in response, wiping the tears from her cheeks, his fingers tingling at the contact with her skin. At her touch, butterflies escaped in his stomach, fluttering wildly while he willed them to stop. He wouldn’t indulge in those feelings, not when it could damage his most precious friendship, not when she needed him like she did. As a friend. Nothing more.

Instead, he just looked at her expectantly, hoping that his silence would urge her to speak.

A few moments later, she finally whispered, “I don’t know what it is. It’s… everything and nothing.”

“Care to elaborate?” he asked quietly, hoping to prod it from her without prodding too obviously.

“I- The first years are a mess, and so are the timetables. Then with Sky starting to talk I- I went down that rabbit hole again. Luna is calling constantly, of course the agreement didn't work out like it was planned, so today was all about sorting out insurance things and in between…”

She looked down at her hands, fingers picking nervously at her skin, before she whispered, “In between I’m scared. That it will all fall apart again.”

“Me too,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around her once more, pulling her close to his chest and letting her head fall to his shoulder. “See? It’s not nothing.”

“I just want to hide from the responsibilities, from the world," she murmured, embarrassed at the admission. She was supposed to be strong. And here she was falling apart.

“Let me share the burden. Tell me when you’re stressed, when you’re scared, when you need help.” He sighed dramatically, a small smile appearing on his face, aware that he would probably regret his next offer. “Even with paperwork.”

Farah started laughing in his arms, leaning back in disbelief. “Even with paperwork?”

“Yes," he muttered, breathing a sigh of relief at the sheer beauty of hearing her laughter.

"You? Offering to do paperwork?"

"Yes, but only for you," he answered, hoping that he didn't cross any lines. But, to his relief, her reaction seemed unfazed. "And you need to promise that you'll talk to me. Being Headmistress doesn't change that. It doesn't change anything; you're still Farah, you're still my fairy and you still have feelings. You deserve to feel them."

“Perhaps I should do this more often then, to get rid of my paperwork,” she smiled with glassy eyes.

“Perhaps you should. You have to admit it, Dowling, but you do feel better now, don’t you?”

She cast her glance downwards again before meeting his once more. “I hate to admit it, but I do. Thank you.”

“Anytime. What do you say if we go and have a drink in my suite?”

She turned her head to her desk, biting her lip with guilt. There was a stack of ungraded homework, and some of that pesky insurance stuff for the palace.

"I'd say you worked far more than enough already today."

"Alright," she whispered, sniffling and quickly wiping her cheeks before flicking her wrist to organise the chaos behind her. "What did you and Sky do today?"

"Oh, we went to visit Rose and the children, they ran around in the garden all afternoon... Sky missed you at bedtime, you know."

Her stomach sank. She knew that she was spending a lot less time with him now, but she had desperately hoped that he wouldn't notice or care as long as he still had Saul and the Harveys to spend his days with. Farah cast her eyes to the floor, waves of guilt crashing in her chest. "I'm so sorry. I- I know that I missed out on too much, that I've been absent, and I'm so, so sorry. I'll- I'll be there tomorrow. I promise."

Saul smiled as he led them towards his suite, his arm securely around her shoulders as he assured her that everything would be fine.

In his suite, while he prepared some drinks for them, Farah quietly slipped into Sky's room, sitting down at the side of his bed and softly running her hand over his hair, smoothing it away from his peaceful face. Her heart clenched as she watched him sleep, suddenly painfully aware of how much time she missed with him while she had buried herself in her work in the past few weeks. It was barely October, she hadn't even been in her position for a month, and she was already missing out on so much. With a sad smile, she properly tucked her little boy under the blanket, placing his Puppy back in his arms before dropping a gentle kiss to his forehead.

As softly as possible, she whispered, "I love you, my darling. So much. And I promise you that I will never ever be away at bedtime again. Never. Good night, my sweet boy, and sleep well."

Saul leaned against the doorframe, watching her whisper the promise with a blunt grin. She slowly got up, startling at seeing him before smiling lightly and falling into his arms, revelling in their warmth. This was so much better than the seclusion of her office.

As Saul held her close, he knew that she would keep her promises. Both to Sky and to him. He loved her, and he knew that she tried her hardest to be strong enough, but in his arms, she never needed to be.

And from that day on, she never missed bedtime again, no matter what happened in the school. It could have been on fire, but she would have still dropped everything to help Saul wrangle their toddler into his pyjamas and to hand him his Puppy. And whenever Sky was ready to go to sleep, she would be there to kiss him good night.

Chapter Text

November had rolled around, the sun having set already as the little family found itself in Saul's suite, spending a quiet evening together in the warm light as the sun had set, the sky outside a dark blue. Farah was working less now, talking more, and she was happier. And that was all that counted for Saul. Recovery was a rocky road, it had its ups and downs, he knew that, they both knew that, but he was so undeniably glad that she had found her way out of that down.

And now, as she sat in his dining room next to Sky, feeding him pasta for dinner while their laughter wafted through the air, he couldn't fight the megawatt smile that adorned his face.

Sky reached towards the small chandelier above Saul's dining table with a happy gurgle, pointing towards the glittering glass stones with one hand, rubbing his eye with the other. "A'ti, pretty!"

Farah smiled at him, holding his little blue plastic spoon that he had discarded a long time ago, deciding that eating the macaroni with his fingers was much more fun. "It is very pretty, darling, isn't it? Look at how it's glittering!"

Sky giggled, his fingers trying to catch the sparkles that reflected in his wide eyes. Warm fuzz settled in Farah's stomach as she watched her little boy, still not having truly grasped the sheer amount of love his presence brought. Those tiny little cheeks would be the death of her one day, she was sure of it.

"See, I told you that the chandelier was the right choice," Farah called and looked back to the open kitchen, where Saul was cooking a surprise dinner for the two of them after the first few weeks of school, watching them with a soft smile. She wasn't allowed to know what masterpiece he was creating that day, his talent for cooking undeniable, and it smelled heavenly like always. Nevertheless, it was fun to guess, but that day, she really had no idea. Still, she did have to admit to herself that this was the first time since Aster Dell where she was truly looking forward to a meal.

"You know my opinion on that thing," he teased right back, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Well, Sky clearly likes it and so do I, so that makes two of us. You're outnumbered!" she grinned innocently.

"Still not convinced. It's just too glittery for me."

Farah smirked, leaning back in her chair and glancing at Sky for a moment. "And yet it hangs above your dining table."

"Well, some stubborn amateur interior designer insisted that I buy it, and I just couldn't say no because she liked it so much."

"Oh, really? She seems great!" Farah answered, fondly remembering the time she had spent convincing Saul in that little antique shop.

"Oh, you're tired, aren't you, my darling?" Farah cooed to the baby whose eyelids were drooping between bites and ran her finger over his cheek. God, he was so sweet. He had grown so much in the time they had cared for him, had celebrated his first birthday and now was merely days away from being one and a half years old. Time flew by so fast, she could barely believe it. She didn't want to believe it, her heart clenching whenever she thought of her tiny little boy growing up.

Farah smiled, reaching out to Sky's cheek with her index finger, brushing it across his skin lightly, a mere butterfly's touch. "Well, how about you finish the last few noodles on your plate, and then we'll go get Puppy and go to sleep?"

Sky nodded and plunged his hand into the colourful plastic bowl again, reaching for the last few macaroni.

From the kitchen, Saul watched her handle their baby boy so gently and with such care and love that his heart seemed to swell two sizes in his chest. If he didn't know any better, he would immediately think of her as Sky's mother, and if he was completely honest, he couldn't imagine and wouldn't even want anyone else to be taking care of him by his side. Of course he didn't, not when everything in his life boiled down to Farah. No matter what he imagined his future to be like, she was right there, standing next to him. And by God did he hope that she felt similarly. He didn't expect her to be able to love him the way he loved her, not after everything he had done during the war, inevitably tainting him in her eyes. It had to be like that. But he so desperately hoped that she at least wanted him in her future in some way or another as well.

"Good job, you finished them all! Oh, one escaped to the floor," Farah said softly and bent down to retrieve the lost noodle from underneath the dining table, letting Sky out of her sight for a moment. As she looked up again, her heart sank. She just saw his tiny body fall backwards in the highchair, sleep winning him over, his eyelids fluttering shut as his body went slack.

In the blink of an eye, she reached out for him and firmly grabbed his upper arms by instinct, holding him up. Nothing could have happened, the back of the chair sufficient to catch him, but in that moment, Farah's instincts had taken over. There had been no thought involved, her hands flying towards him on their own accord. Her heart skipped a beat before she relaxed again, the momentary adrenaline disappearing.

Sky was startled awake, staring at her with wide eyes and furrowed brows in confusion and shock, clearly one moment away from bursting into tears. In her relief, Farah laughed lightly.

"Are we really that sleepy, sweet boy?" she asked while cupping his soft cheek to comfort him after the scare, running her thumb over his skin and successfully calming him, preventing any crying.

It was almost comical to Farah, to be able to watch the emotions dissipate so clearly on his face, being replaced by impending sleep once more. His eyelids slowly fell closed and he leaned his head in her hand that still rested on his cheek, fully relying on her to hold him up, drifting off to his long-awaited slumber.

"Oh, we definitely are," Farah smiled and shook her head in amusement.

Saul looked up and chuckled at the scene. "Well, that's exactly what I had in mind when making these noodles."

"Sky falling asleep in my hand?" she asked, still supporting his head with a gentle hand, slowly getting up from her chair, but careful not to jostle the baby. One wouldn't believe how difficult it was to move one's body while keeping one's hand completely steady, Farah deduced, but even with the slight movements of her wrist, Sky stayed asleep, his breathing deepening, a single macaroni still firmly gripped in his fist.

"Absolutely. That's just what my cooking does to you," Saul teased, stirring the pot and retrieving a small container of some spice Farah didn't know the name of. Cooking was definitely better handled by him rather than her, though he did make quite successful efforts to teach her. She much rather baked, something he could learn a thing or two about from her. Still, birthday cake duty was definitely hers for the years to come.

"Do I need to be worried?" she joked right back, happiness glinting in her eyes.

"Definitely."

With a light laugh, she slowly managed to lay Sky's head on her shoulder and lift him up, softly shushing and swaying to keep him asleep. As she stood next to the dining table, she gently pried his fingers apart, retrieving the noodle and placing it in the bowl to discard later. She slowly placed his hand by his head on her shoulder, his dirty fingers grasping her blouse tightly as he snuggled into her collarbone, her hand holding and stroking the back of his head.

"I'll go and put him down to bed," Farah whispered to Saul and kissed the baby's hair.

"Thanks, Fa," he smiled, rounding the kitchen counter to clear the table and clean the mess Sky had left, noodles strewn across his highchair and stuck to the sides of the bowl. This was so worth it. All those months ago, they had finally got a grip again. They had managed to claw their way to the shore, had found out of the ocean of despair. It had only taken barely slipping past a car wreck for Farah to initiate it, but since then, they were recovering bit by bit every day, and things like these were what they did it for. Sweet moments with Sky, family dinners, light-hearted jokes. Domesticity.

He had finally reached what he had subconsciously longed for so long. A family.

The next day, Farah sat in her living room, reading, enjoying the last bits of the afternoon sun that was setting earlier each day. And she hated to admit it, but she had taken Saul's advice of actually relaxing on weekends, and lo and behold, she was feeling so much better in every aspect of her life. Unbelievable, really, how such a simple change could do so much good.

As her eyes skimmed the lines, a knock echoed through the silent room, lighting her eyes with recognition. She went to answer it with a smile, her bond already lifting the secret of who stood on the other side.

As soon as she opened the door, a tiny pair of arms flung itself around her legs, accompanied by a much taller warm smile and a comforting hug.

"Hello, sweet boy!" Farah cooed, scooping Sky up into her arms and peppering his giggling face with endless loud kisses before turning to Saul. "Come in!"

They all sat on the large couch, Farah bouncing the toddler on her knees as he giggled brightly while Saul watched with a wide smile.

"What brought you here?" she asked lightly, ripping her gaze from the grinning boy.

"Nothing, just- just wanted to spend time with you, all of us together." As a family. The unsaid last words hung in the air, clear to them both.

Farah smiled at him, barely able to hide the emotional reaction he caused in her. She loved them both, and she adored every second they could spend together as a family. She sometimes still found it hard to believe that she actually had one.

"A'ti! Adain!" Sky demanded, noticing her attention had drifted from him to Saul, the rocking of her knees having slowed significantly.

"Oh, of course, darling!"

"Wrapped around his little finger, aren't we?" Saul teased with a smirk, leaning his head against his hand, his elbow resting on the back of the sofa.

"Oh, stop it!" Farah laughed, a wide smile etched into her cheeks as she kept her gaze on Sky, pulling her face into several grimaces that always made him laugh.

"A'ti Mama!" Sky exclaimed, happily patting Farah's cheeks as her expression froze. She glanced at Saul with wide eyes, her heart racing in her chest as the heat rose to her face and rippled down her spine. He was just as shocked as she was, proving that she hadn't misheard. A'ti Mama. Sky had called her Mama. And there was no denying that this one little word had an infinite impact on her.

"Sky..." she began, pulling him closer into her embrace, unsure of how to continue. Should she try to explain to a one-year-old that she wasn't his mother? How would she even do that? Or should she ignore it? Accept it? He had called her Mama, God. And she had to admit that it made her heart soar more than she ever thought it would or should.

"Mama!" he yelled definitely, his pudgy hands playing with a strand that had come loose from her hairdo before he threw himself against her chest, his face buried in her collarbone.

Farah had no choice but to hug him to her tightly on instinct, her arms moving around him protectively as her jaw remained slightly dropped, her eyes dangerously watery. Saul sat next to her, watching, frozen in place, his expression perfectly channelling all of the shock and love she felt whirling in her chest.

Sky lifted his head again, pointing at Saul. "Mama Dada story," he smiled, finishing his parents for good. They stared at each other, mist collecting in their eyes, at a complete loss of what to do.

Saul seemed to find his composure first, blinking rapidly a few times before stuttering, "Y- yes, I'll go get the book."

As he got up to retrieve the fairytale book from Farah's shelf, the one that had beautiful illustrations that could entrance Sky for hours, Farah turned her gaze to the boy again, her eyes now properly swimming with tears.

"Sky, my sweet boy," she whispered, kissing his cheek and cuddling him close. He smelled so comforting, his soft skin cool against hers, his blonde hair tickling her nose. "I love you so much, my little darling."

Saul sat down next to her, book in hand, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He whispered into her ear, "I think it suits you, Fa."

She leaned her head against his, Sky still securely in her arms, her heart still pounding in her chest and amplifying the chaos of her emotions. "You think so?"

"Yes."

"Well, I think yours doesn't sound so bad either," she chuckled quietly, sniffling as the toddler's hands reached towards the book, looking at Saul without trying to hide the love in her eyes.

"Are we going to leave it?" he asked the dreaded question, his voice quiet and full of uncertainty.

As Farah wanted to answer, Sky interrupted her. "Story! Mama Dada story!"

"Yes, yes, you impatient little man. Let me tell you, I know someone just as impatient as you," he smiled, glancing at Farah. "So, what are we going to read today? How do we feel about... Goldilocks?"

Sky excitedly clapped his hands, bouncing up and down in Farah's lap as she kept her hands on his sides, steadying him.

"Well then, Goldilocks it is!"

Saul opened the book, Sky's gaze immediately finding the pictures, his tiny fingers tracing the trees. With a gentle, animated voice, he started reading, feeling Farah lean closer against him, her grip on Sky tightening. From the corner of his eye, he could have sworn that he saw a tear slip down her cheek. She sniffled softly, running her hand up and down Sky's back.

The second paragraph soon ended, an idea popping into Saul's head. Sky had demanded a story from them both, after all, so this may be the ideal opportunity to create a new family tradition. As soon as it was finished, he turned to Farah and breathed, "Want to go on? We could switch every paragraph."

Her gaze was confused, but happy nonetheless, a smile stretching her flushed cheeks as she started reading, feeling Sky's feet drum against her legs excitedly. He seemed to love it, their impromptu switch.

Later that evening, Sky long asleep in his room in her suite, Farah and Saul stayed in her living room, each nursing a glass of wine as the warm light of the fireplace painted the room golden.

"We should make that a thing," Farah mumbled, looking at the red liquid swirling around. "Reading the story together. Sky seemed to love it, and I... I think it was nice too."

Saul smiled at her as she leaned her head back against the sofa, staring up at the ceiling, her legs leaning against his lap.

"Yeah, I think so too."

"How did you even get that idea?" she chuckled, finally looking at him.

Now was his turn to avoid her gaze, the table suddenly seeming awfully interesting. "Well, I- it just popped into my head. Sky did demand a story from both of us, and I have to admit, when I suggested it, I was actually kind of hoping to make that a little tradition."

A blush rose to her cheeks at the thought of him wanting to create traditions with her. She had a real family now, traditions and everything, and just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes. This was what she had longed for, in those quiet moments after fighting countless battles, laying awake at night in Saul's tent. A family. Barely able to contain her smile, she whispered, "I like that."

With a sigh, he continued, "What about his new little nicknames for us? Are we going to do something or leave it?"

As her eyes met his again, he wasn't surprised to find them glistening suspiciously in the dancing firelight. "I don't know. But- But thank you."

"What for?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Everything. For letting me help with him, for asking me to adopt him as well, for wanting to make traditions with me. You've given me a family when I never thought I could have one." As she finished, the tears finally escaped, immediately redirected at his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

"Thank you for agreeing to all of that, for not thinking me mad when I asked you," he chuckled, his hand running up and down her arm. "Without you, the family wouldn't have been complete."

She laughed into his shoulder softly, her head emerging again. Her makeup was smudged, her hair dishevelled. But, in Saul's humble opinion, she was as beautiful as ever. Maybe he would someday even have the courage to tell her, to cross the line.

"Are we going to do something?" she asked quietly, picking up where their actual conversation left off.

He sighed. "I have no idea. Do you want to do something?"

"I mean, we're not his real parents, and I don't know if we should take their place."

"No, do you want to do something?" Saul asked softly, looking at her intently.

"I- I don't know if I have it in my heart to tell him he can't. Hearing him call me Mama, call you Dada, it made me feel something I've never felt before..." Farah's voice got quieter as she neared the end of her sentence, her fingers fiddling with the corner of a pillow that rested in her lap. Hesitantly, she looked up and continued speaking shakily, "Do you?"

"Not really, no. Being Dada does feel good, especially since he chose it on his own. So, why don't we let him take the lead? Why not let him decide?"

Farah nodded with a soft smile, leaning her head back against the couch. "Let's do that. You are an incredible dad, do you know that?"

He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling in the light, having to refrain from reaching out to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "So, Mama, how does it feel to get christened with a new name?"

She laughed, smacking his arm. "Stop that, you're going to make me cry again."

His hand landed on his glass as he chuckled, taking a sip, watching Farah so adorably grapple with her emotions. She looked up at him again, her eyes still shining with happy tears as her whisper reached him. "He called me Mama, Saul."

"He did," he chuckled with a warm smile.

"I love that child so much, it hurts."

"Me too, Fa, me too. Our sweet boy."

She leaned against his shoulder, the smile still plastered on her face. "Our sweet boy."

Chapter Text

A scream, then high pitched crying.

Saul sat up straight in his bed with a pounding heart. He rushed to Sky's room next door, immediately turning on the blindingly bright lights. The little boy hid under his covers, pushed to the very corner of his bed.

"Mama! Mama!" he cried out, desperately trying to get her attention, unaware that she slept peacefully on the other end of the school.

"Sky, I'm here," Saul whispered hoarsely, sitting down on the bed and lifting the blanket. Sky was curled up beneath it, clutching his puppy, tears running down his face.

Saul gently lifted him into his arms, stroking his back and holding his head. "It's alright, my dear. Did you have a nightmare?"

Sky nodded into his chest. "Scary nigh-mare."

"Shh, I'm here now," Saul shushed, gently rocking the toddler on his knees. "And look, puppy is also here to protect you."

"Puppy," Sky whined, reaching for the stuffed animal in Saul's hand. "Mine's puppy."

"Yes, Sky, that's your puppy. Do you want me to stay here so you can fall asleep again?" Saul asked, cuddling the boy tightly.

"I want Mama story."

"Sky..."

"P-ease, I wanna go Mama," he said, growing increasingly frustrated and fussy.

"We can also go to my big bed and sleep there, but we can't go to Mama," Saul tried reasoning, but what is there to negotiate with a two year old?

Sky started flailing his arms, crying once more. "Mama! Mama!"

"Shh, my boy, we can't go to her, it's too late." Saul glanced at the clock, suddenly very aware that he had, in fact, no idea what time it was. Now he did, and waking Farah with a screaming child at three in the morning didn't seem like the best idea. "How about I read you a story?"

"Mama Dada read faytale," he mumbled through his tears, clinging tightly to Saul's shirt.

Oh, great, he wanted the fairytale book with the pretty pictures. The one that resided in Farah's living room bookcase. At the other end of the school.

"We could also read the spaceship story."

"No!" Sky exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously while crying to underline his statement. "Mama faytale!"

"I know that you want to look at the pretty fairytale pictures, but we can't do that right now. We could look at the bulldozer book instead."

"No, Mama faytale p-ease," Sky begged, tears pooling in his eyes, running down his cheeks. Yes, it was three in the morning, and going to Farah seemed stupid, but Saul was now seriously considering the possibility. "I wanna go Mama."

"How about I read you a story now and we go to visit Mama in the morning?"

"Mama now," Sky whined, burying his head in Saul's chest. His heart constricted, having to weigh between the two options.
Ten minutes of useless negotiations later, Saul put on a pair of slippers and got up. Sky had won, and Farah would hopefully understand that he had been trying, really trying.

A few minutes and a walk through the dark corridors later, he found himself in front of Farah's door at half past three in the morning, holding a sniffling toddler to his chest.

"Now, Sky, let's hope that your Mama hears us."

After another knock, he felt her confusion tug at the bond. Good, she was awake.

A few moments later, she opened the door, wearing a long robe, her hair hastily pulled into a quick bun. So she hadn't expected them, but a student, Saul thought to himself with a chuckle.

"Hey, Fa, sorry for-" he started, but was interrupted by Sky trying to free himself from his hold, desperately reaching for Farah.

"Mama!" he cried, stretching his whole body towards her.

Farah didn't startle anymore when he said it, neither did Saul, and they didn't correct him either. Yes, they had originally agreed on being Uncle Saul and Auntie Farah, but now, they also agreed that it felt nice to be called Mommy and Daddy. This was a part of parenting where they couldn't call Ben and Rose for help, it was something they had to figure out on their own. And they had no idea what the right choice was here. What they did know, though, was that it didn't matter what name Sky called when he needed them, what mattered was that they were there and that they loved him.

She took him from Saul's arms, gently swaying and cuddling him as he snuggled into her collarbone. "Hello, sweet boy. Shh, it's alright, my darling."

He calmed a bit, dangling his puppy over her shoulder by one leg, his free fist tightly clutching her blue silk robe.

"Come in," she said to Saul with a smile, stepping away from the door. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I really am," he explained, stepping inside as Farah turned on a soft light in the living room. "He had a nightmare, and I've been trying to calm him for the past half hour, but he just wanted you."

"It's alright," she yawned at Saul, who chuckled at her apparent tiredness. "Really."

"Mama read faytale," Sky mumbled into her neck, not letting go of her.

"Oh, you want to read a fairytale, sweet boy?" Farah asked softly, running her fingers through Sky's hair as Saul tiredly smiled at them.

The toddler nodded against her, continuing, "And Dada."

"Both of us should read it?" she asked sweetly, rubbing soothing circles on Sky's back.

"Yes, with voices."

She and Saul chuckled as she motioned for him to come closer, suppressing another yawn. If only he knew that she had gone to bed barely two hours ago.

"Should we get the book then, sweetheart?" she whispered into Sky's hair, who immediately sat up a bit straighter, watching the bookshelf expectantly.

Farah's eyes flickered silver as she raised one hand, lifting the big cloth-bound fairytale collection from the bookshelf with her mind, letting it glide towards them slowly before landing it perfectly in her hand.

"Sleep in Mama bed, p-ease?" Sky asked hopefully, staring at Farah with pleading eyes.

"Your bed or the big bed?" she asked quietly.

"Big bed."

"Okay then, you can sleep here tonight," she mumbled, resting her head on top of his, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Dada too," Sky whispered into her neck, barely audible for her and definitely too quiet for Saul to overhear.

Saul stepped closer, unaware of Sky's last request. "You don't have to- I can take him back, if you want."

"No, it's fine, I want to," she replied with a small smile. "Stay too, if you want."

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't," she chuckled lightly. "The bed is big enough for all of us."

His stomach fluttered at her words, though he knew that sleeping in the same bed didn't mean anything, not for them. Not after having shared tents, hospital beds and from time to time even sleeping bags for years.

With a smile, he followed her to the bedroom, where she handed Sky to him for a moment to take off her robe and to undo her bun, letting her blonde waves fall down her shoulders.

They both climbed into bed, placing Sky in their middle, cuddled up warmly between them with Puppy firmly gripped in his arms beneath the fuzzy blue blanket full of yellow bulldozers, cranes and excavators that she always kept in her bed just for him.

"Are you happy now, little guy?" Saul asked with a smile he couldn't help.

Sky nodded through a yawn, a big grin on his face as his fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the corner of his blanket. A habit he had picked up from Farah, Saul mused to himself with a small smile.
Farah opened the book to Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Sky's favourite story, holding one side of it while Saul grabbed the other.

Together, they held the pages above the toddler, whose head rested on Farah's shoulder while his legs were curled into Saul's side.

With a soft, yet animated and captivating voice, she started reading and pointing to the pictures. Beautiful watercolour forests littered the pages, filled with adorable little figures on their adventures.

Saul smiled and revelled in the quiet sound of Farah's voice, the incredible softness of it that was reserved only for the children, letting it lull him into deep relaxation before realising that it was his turn to read. Sky loved the story so much that they had perfected it in just a few weeks, each having their paragraphs and roles to read with different voices and volumes, bringing the fairytale to life in her bedroom.

So he continued seamlessly, reading and pointing out the beautifully illustrated scenes.

Next was Farah's paragraph once more, but at the lack of her voice continuing the story, he slowly lifted his head and glanced at Sky and Farah, who were both fast asleep in his arms, Farah's hand protectively resting around their little boy, cuddling him close. With a small smile, he took the book from her hands, where it still limply rested, carefully placing it on the nightstand next to him, turning back to face his little family.

He loved both of them so much that he didn't know where to store all of it. This wasn't what he had imagined when he had allowed himself to dream of having a family, preferably with Farah, during the war. There hadn't been a lot of thoughts he had had to spare for trivial matters such as a family, but when those quiet moments did happen, he had always hoped that they would somehow end up together and have children of their own. It was unrealistic, merely a dream to keep him afloat, but he couldn't deny that a part of him, a rather large part of him, well, actually, all of him still longed for her beside him at night.

Like in that moment. This was better than anything he had seriously planned for his future, and surely more than he ever deserved.

Yet, deep down, he wanted more, more from Farah. He loved her, and he wanted this. He wanted to fall asleep next to her, to wake up next to her in the morning. He wanted her.

Maybe he would someday have the courage to tell her, to cross that sacred line between them that neither of them could define anymore. A few years ago, it had been simple. Friends that innocently flirted from time to time. Then the war had happened, they had grown even closer. And now? Their lines were as blurry as lines could get. They had become each other's primary source of comfort, had seen and touched each other in every way but romantically, they had adopted a child together. Who called them Mama and Dada.

Said child sleeping between them in her bed after a nightmare. Saul's heart clenched at the domesticity of it all. This was precisely what he wanted, this family and this love that hovered in the air, detectable even for him, despite his lack of mind fairy powers. And even if it was only for one night and to comfort Sky, he revelled in the sheer possibility of it meaning something more to her as well.
And even if it didn't, he had her friendship, and that was worth more than anything else. It was his greatest gift, and he was absolutely terrified of losing it, of losing her. Instead of that, he'd rather live with a simmering possibility.

For now, at least, he thought with a small smile as he slowly reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from Farah's face before placing his fingers on top of Sky's head, smoothing his messy hair away from his peacefully sleeping face. Who knew what the future may bring for him and Farah.

With the ghost of a smile remaining on Saul's lips, he too drifted off to peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Farah absolutely loved it here, at his house in the forest, now that they've made it a home. There were pictures of them all; of her and Saul, some with Sky throughout the years, there were Ben, Rose, Sam and Terra. There were flowers in hand painted vases, books strewn across coffee tables, toy chests and messy blankets. Oh, and there were memories. So many memories. Here, she was always Auntie Farah and Mama, and she adored it.

"Hey, Fa."

And she was just Farah. Like right now. Sky was spending his weekend with Ben, Rose and the kids, so Saul and her were granted some much needed down time. The school was everything to her, but it also demanded everything, every last piece of endurance, and Sky, having just turned two, wasn't exactly at an easy age either, but she wouldn't trade her sweet boy for the world.

"You're thinking quite loudly," he murmured as he sat down on the sofa next to her. "Care to share?"

"This and that. It's nothing, really," she mumbled.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, inviting her to lay her head on his chest. Resting his chin atop her hair, he said, "If it was nothing, I wouldn't feel it."

She sighed deeply, a small smile appearing on her face. "Well, if you must know..."

He smiled softly and kissed her head, readjusting her body in his grip so she leaned fully against him. "I must."

Oh, how she lived for those little moments between them. They made her believe in the smallest possibility of there ever being something more between them, and the desire of it was getting harder and harder to ignore. They did everything together now, they had a child, a family, they ran a school together. The only thing they did separately was sleep, and sometimes, they even did that in the same bed. With a fond smile, the memories of Sky's nightmare two weeks ago found its way into her mind. She had slept better that night than she had in weeks.

"Alright then, I was just feeling a bit of melancholy about this place, about the memories in here, about life in general. That's it."

"I know what you mean."

Comfortable silence fell around them, and Farah curled up even tighter against Saul. His heart beat steadily beneath her, soothing her, letting all the worries just melt away. If only they could stay like this forever. She relaxed fully in his arms, her breathing slowing down. No matter where or how, he always managed to calm her completely. Before Sky and he had appeared in her suite two weeks ago after his nightmare, she hadn't been able to fall asleep, restlessly working to keep her mind from the thought of needing to sleep but not being able to relax. Then Saul had shown up, they had read a story, and as soon as they had all fully settled, it had been like a light shut off. Within a few moments, she had fully relaxed and had immediately fallen asleep.

Just like now, she thought to herself with sluggish amusement as her eyelids drooped.

Saul felt the tension in her dissipate as well, both through their bond and physically. She seemed so calm, so content. Even her breathing slowed down. After a few minutes of running his fingers up and down her arm, only brushing lightly against her skin, his hands barely touching her skin, he lifted his head and glanced at her sleeping face. He'd suspected it, but seeing her eyes closed so peacefully while in his arms made his heart swell with love. If only they could stay like this forever.

After the blissful moment, which he stored forever in his mind, she awoke with a sharp inhale.

"Shh, Fa, it's alright."

Dropping her head down again, the momentary tension dissolved. Ever since Aster Dell, she hadn't woken up peacefully most of the time. Whether because of a nightmare or disorientation, it didn't matter, sleep was always ripped from her in a brutal way.

"What time is it?" she mumbled with shut eyes, sighing deeply as she was still caught in the fuzzy net of sleep.

"Just a quarter past three. You did only sleep for ten minutes."

Farah chuckled, still not lifting her head from Saul's chest despite the light blush that spread her cheeks. "It sure felt longer. Sorry that I fell asleep on you, you could have just woken me up."

"In my opinion, naps should be mandatory and at least 30 minutes long," Saul said with a smile, pressing a kiss into her hair. He deliberately ignored half of what Farah had said, because in his opinion, her sleeping on top of him was the sweetest display of trust he had ever experienced, and it only made him love her even more. But that wasn't something he was sure how to discuss with her yet.

"Speak for yourself, old man," Farah laughed.

"As an old man, I also happen to enjoy some nice walks. What do you say?"

She smiled into his chest. "I would love to."

"And bring your bathing suit."

That finally did the trick in making her sit up again. "About that, Mr. Silva," she said, pointing with an accusing finger, "I actually had to go out and buy one just for your little weekend plans."

"You won't be able to resist once you see the lake, Dowling," he smirked.

Farah leaned back with a playful smile. "Oh, won't I?"

"Absolutely not. Let's go then, it's the most beautiful in the afternoon."

"Only if I get your pasta later."

"Deal."

"Deal."

As she got up, moving to the bedroom to dress for their hike, she started thinking again, about the swimsuit, more precisely about her body in the swimsuit. It seemed so ridiculous, her scarred and wrinkly skin so exposed. Clothes were like armour for her, a sort of protection, a way of hiding her corporal form from prodding eyes.

And now, she was without armour. Then again, it was Saul, and he saw past her walls anyway. The contradiction within herself didn't leave her alone, though. What she struggled with wasn't necessarily her body, rather the changes it had undergone. The scars were one thing, especially the one lining the entirety of the right side of her abdomen down to her thigh, the one that could have been fatal. The one that would forever be connected to their lakeside conversation at Maravet Falls. The scars, those she could deal with.

But the other stuff. The last time Saul had seen her without clothes, she had been at the height of her looks. Now, her skin was softer, there were far less muscles, and there were curves and pudgy spots, the worst one being her lower stomach. She despised it.

Buying a swimsuit had therefore been rather, well, interesting, to say the least. After a copious amount of time spent in that shop, she finally found a high waisted pair. It still looked horrible in her opinion, but at least she was covered. The thought of splashing around in the water did sound appealing to her, incredibly so, as a matter of fact, but she could gladly do without the whole undressing part.

And the fact that she had those issues to begin with was ridiculous in and of itself. It seemed juvenile, not a problem that an accomplished adult should have. Hell, she was a soldier, a headmistress, and this was what she doubted herself on. She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror, turning away. In a futile attempt to create a compromise for herself, she put the swimsuit on under her regular clothing and simply postponed the decision of actually swimming or not to later.

"Ready to go, Fa?"

"One second!" she called and came downstairs to find Saul closing a backpack.

"What do we need that for?"

"Towels, water bottles, snacks, you know, stuff you normally bring on a hike where you swim," he teased with a smirk.

"And I thought you were of the spontaneous type. You've really gotten old," she smiled. Me too, apparently, she thought to herself.

"Let's go," he chuckled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they stepped out of his house right into the sunlit forest.

"What do you say?" he asked with a boyish, excited grin.

The water glittered beneath them, encased by grey rocks and lush green pine trees that framed the unrealistically blue sky. It looked incredible, a sight she wouldn't forget for years to come, she already knew that. She also knew that this wasn't the time for teasing. "It's beautiful, really, it looks amazing."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" he asked and took off his shirt and shoes before running to the water with a smile.

Farah's breath hitched. He looked amazing. His body hadn't changed as much over the years, at least not in a bad way, unlike hers. Suddenly overcome with her beloved self-doubt again, she forced a smile to rest on her face as she folded his discarded shirt, resting it on a flat rock next to the backpack.

She wouldn't be able to escape the question forever, but she could at least stretch the time leading up to it, so she started digging around the backpack for a water bottle. She found it immediately, but let her hands roam around the towels and snacks for a few moments longer than necessary. The drinking was also lengthened, even though she already felt Saul's gaze on her.

Losing the bottle cap, searching for it in the grass, finding it, closing the bottle, putting it away, getting it stuck, having to retry, closing the backpack, sitting down on the warm stone. It was all taking her longer than it needed to. Saul stood in the water to his knees, turned towards her, expectantly smiling.

"Are you coming?" he called out to her.

Oh, what was she doing here? It was embarrassing, yes, but it was Saul. Then again, it was Saul. God, fuck it, she wanted to swim. This was ridiculous.

"Yeah!" she responded with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and took a deep breath before taking off her white shirt, revealing a burgundy bikini top. The pants needed more courage, but she found comfort in the fact that her bottoms were high waisted and suited her well enough to hide the worst of the worse. Suddenly feeling every step and every movement of her body with painful intensity, she walked towards the water and stepped into it.

Refreshingly cold waves played around her feet, grounding her. Another deep breath later, she slowly waded towards Saul, hoping that he didn't look at her too closely, her hands on her hips.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, the water's just cold," Farah lied. Smiling, she tried to cover up the insecurity that must have risen to her face. She did block it out of their bond, after all.

Saul watched her, still not convinced. Something was bothering her, he knew it. But he also trusted her and let it go for now. She had turned towards the mountains, clearly enjoying the view as he looked at her.

"But it's beautiful here. Absolutely breathtaking," he murmured, never taking his gaze off her.

"Yeah," she whispered, staring at the mountains, her arms wrapped around her middle.

"Farah, for what I'm about to do, I can only apologise in advance," he said and bent down.

She turned her head around, barely able to utter a confused, "What?" before being covered in tiny ice-cold droplets of water from head to toe. With a gasp, she started laughing, the sure revenge glittering in her eyes, the self-consciousness lost in the shock.

"Saul, you absolute-"

Another splash of water hit her as Saul couldn't stop laughing, having returned to his 14-year-old self.

This time, she immediately retaliated, throwing water at him with both hands. "Oh, you are in for something!"

Now being completely wet as well, he started running away from her, still laughing loudly. She tried to follow him, but he was a specialist, and undoubtedly faster than her. But then it hit her. He may have been a specialist, but she was a fairy. And a damn good one at that.

With a smirk, she stopped, her eyes glittering silver as she lifted a sphere of water from the lake, directing it towards him with a speed he couldn't even dream of matching. When it floated above his head, he finally noticed the shadow it cast and stopped, looking up and then back at Farah.

"Hey, not fair!" he yelled.

"You're faster, this is my only chance!" she called with a grin before letting the ball of water drop on top of him, completely soaking him.

This time, she was the one running away, but after a few moments, Saul reached her and wrapped his arms around her middle to lift her up and throw her in the lake, but they both fell over, landing on top of each other in the water, legs tangling as they tried to get up to the surface again.

Saul was the first one to find his balance and stand, helping a spluttering Farah back on her feet.

She got up, the sparkle evident in her eyes. Thank God she took her damn clothes off and got in the water. She couldn't even imagine missing out on this, her ageing and his unfairly attractive body be damned.

Saul panted with a bright smile, still holding on to her elbows and looking into those mesmerising brown eyes of hers. Seeing her like this, so at ease, in a bikini, it made him fall in love with her even more. She was so beautiful, and all he wanted to do was to finally cross that stupid line.

"This is great," she said with the last bout of laughter, her eyes flickering to his lips. The air was thick around them, pulsating with anticipation as their gazes met. Saul's face was inches from hers.

"It is," he smiled back.

A crow flew above them, screeching loudly, startling them both.

Farah closed her eyes, drawing a sharp breath as Saul stepped back. With a shake of his head and a chuckle that disguised the sound of nervously clearing his throat, he asked, "Do you want to actually swim, now that we're completely wet already?"

"Sure," she answered with a relieved smile and threw herself into the water, swimming towards the middle of the lake glittering in the afternoon sun. This was absolutely worth it.

Farah wrapped the warm towel around her shoulders, sitting down on the rock where they had left their stuff. With a wistful smile, she watched Saul drink from the water bottle they both used.

"Hm?" he asked and cocked his eyebrow.

"We can never tell Sky about this, he'd never forgive us," she joked.

"Definitely. A top-secret mission, that's what this was."

"I have to admit, I do miss him a little," Farah chuckled quietly, looking out on the water

"Me too. Funny to think how much that little guy changed our lives."

Farah smiled in response, closing her eyes and laying down in the sun. Saul joined her with a light sigh, the comforting warmth of the sun dancing on their skin and seeping through their backs from the rock's surface. Very slowly, without moving any other part of her body, Farah intertwined her fingers with his. She didn't dare to look at him, fully consumed by her heartbeat throbbing in her ears, so the wide grin that stretched his cheeks went unnoticed.

After a few minutes, they got up and dressed, much to Farah's relief. She felt safe again. Back to her steady self. Still, she felt nervous uncertainty that wasn't her own seep through their bond. Turning to Saul, she saw him twisting a flower between his fingers.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

He looked up, a mix of emotions swirling on his face and in their bond. Farah stared at him expectantly as he took a deep breath before meeting her eyes.

He held the daisy out to her with a shaky smile. "For you."

"Thanks," she replied with a grateful smile, looking up to find his eyes looking at her in a way she had never seen before. Had never allowed herself to see before.

"Farah, I-" He took another deep breath, gathering every last ounce of courage in his body.

"I'm in love with you. Have been for years, since we were teenagers," he blurted out as her eyes widened, almost immediately filling with tears. He was horrified at his own words, staring at her, his eyes a mix of hope, fear and apology.

He loved her. He loved her. Farah stared at him with wide eyes and a racing heart that pounded in her chest, her body frozen in place. Shock coursing through her, she almost asked him to repeat it, not believing what she had heard. Her dumbstruck reaction discouraged him, his worry and his fear of her reaction tugging at the bond, bleeding into her mind. He had truly rendered her speechless. Today. Of all days, he chose today. But she needed to convey her feelings, and quickly.

With a pained expression, he looked at the forest ground, kicking a stone around and starting to mumble an apology.

Without another thought, Farah stepped towards him, her hands flying to his face to cup it and press her lips against his. Smiling into his mouth, she felt him freeze in her arms for a moment until his hands slid around her waist, pulling her close and pressing her body against him. His leg came to rest between hers, sending a flutter through her core and into her stomach. A soft groan escaped Saul as he deepened the kiss, making them snog like a pair of love-struck teenagers.

God, this couldn't be real.

"Do you- are you-?"

"Yes," she breathed, their foreheads leaning against the other's. "I think I'm in love with you too."

"You think?" he chuckled, his thumbs slowly running over her cheeks that stretched with a blinding grin.

"Depends on whether you'll actually cook that pasta tonight or not," she teased, very much in love with the man in front of her.

And now, they had breached the invisible threshold that had always separated them, but their mood was as light and teasing as always, and for that she was incredibly grateful.

"I won't disappoint."

"I know," she whispered.

On their way back, her hand was firmly entwined with his, never letting go, not for a moment. She was simply too afraid of letting him go, of losing this newfound closeness.

"How do we go on now?" she asked, afraid of what his answer may be. She wanted him, all of him, and she was terrified that he didn't.

"What do you mean?"

"Us. What is this now? I need to know if you're all in or not, because-"

"Farah. I want to fall asleep next to you, wake up next to you, you know, the whole nine yards," Saul interrupted her, observing her profile. God, she was beautiful.

She turned to him with a chuckle. "Sounds an awful lot like a relationship."

"That's what I'm aiming for here, Dowling."

"Good, I like that," she breathed, unable to conceal her gasp. "All in?"

"All in."

He laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "So, we're together, then?"

"You didn't ask," she teased, leaning against his side as they continued walking along the path.

Saul pulled her to a stop, taking both of her hands in his. She froze, eyes wide. "I was joking, you don't have to."

"But I want to," he replied softly. "Farah Eleanor Dowling, will you do me the honour of allowing me to love you?"

"Yes," she breathed with a smile before closing the distance between them, kissing him. "Of course. Are you sure I'm awake?"

"I am officially the luckiest man alive," Saul said triumphantly, kissing her knuckles. "And if we're not awake, it's the best dream I've ever had."

"What will we tell Sky?" she asked with a flustered voice.

"I don't think he'll notice a difference, if I'm honest. He's two, Fa. I think he believes we've always been together anyway. He calls us Mama and Dada for crying out loud," Saul answered with amusement dancing in his voice. "Bigger question, what about Ben and Rose?"

"Oh God, they'll never let us hear the end of it, especially because this whole weekend away was their idea," Farah laughed, her cheeks tinged pink as she bit her lip with a smile.

"They'll tease us forever. But that's a small price to pay for you," Saul flirted and squeezed her hand, pulling her in to kiss her cheek.

A dark blush spread across her face.

"I love you," she whispered, the words tasting foreign, but so, so right. "So much."

"I thought we're waiting for the pasta for a definite decision."

"You're doing well enough," she laughed.

"I love you too. And I can't wait to show you how much after all these years," he replied with a husky voice.

She glanced at him with a small smile, biting her lower lip before grasping his hand, ignoring the self-doubt rising again in her chest. "I can't wait to get back."

Saul stopped next to her, looking at her with wide eyes. "Are you- I can feel your insecurity... we don't have to-"

Farah stared at him in shock, realising that she had forgot to keep shielding that feeling from the bond after the kiss had completely torn down and demolished her mental walls, and he felt it blooming in his chest like his own. Her cheeks flushed crimson red as she stared at her feet, trying to find an excuse.

"What's wrong, Fa?"

"I don't- it's nothing, it's stupid," she stammered, trying to get him to keep walking. Being confronted with it made her feel even worse than just feeling it.

He grabbed both of her hands, pulling her towards him and looking at her with all the love in his eyes. "I promise it's not stupid. Go on."

"I- I'm afraid that you- that I'll be disappointing," she mumbled, her face burning as the words out loud were the final step in making her feel, frankly, like utter shit.

"W- why would you think that?" he asked softly, his voice utterly bewildered.

"Well, I- I've aged, and I have scars and- and wrinkles and I'm not really that attractive, but you are, and-"

The words spilled out of her as if the floodgates had been opened, but he gently interrupted her, lifting her chin to make her straying gaze meet his and softly placing his fingers on her lips, effectively silencing her.

"Farah, darling, you're beautiful. You are. From the moment I first saw you more than ten years ago, I have never seen anyone more beautiful than you. You are stunning, no matter what you may think in that complicated head of yours. I love you, Fa, and I promise you that there is no part of you I don't or won't love."

"Saul," she mumbled, tears gathering in her eyes as he pulled her into his chest, letting her melt against him.

"I love you, Farah," he whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I love you too, Saul. Do you want to go back?" she murmured into his chest before looking up with a small, emotional smile.

"Yeah. Do you still want to-"

"Yes!" she chuckled. "Yes. Let's go, we have no time to lose, we did enough of that already."

There was no need to tell Saul twice, and with a grin plastered on his face, he pulled her along, hurrying back towards his house, the desire swirling in his eyes.

They laid in bed together that evening, as they had done so many times before, like a few weeks prior after Sky's nightmare, but they had a newfound closeness to cherish. Farah's head rested on Saul's chest, rising with each breath. He ran his fingers through her hair, calm settling around them.

His breath hitched.

Farah looked up, searching his eyes for an answer to his sudden jolt.

"Was that also why you took so long to take off your clothes at the lake?" he whispered into the silence, his hand buried in her hair, softly grazing her scalp.

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"At the lake. You took so long to get in the water, and now with what you've said earlier..."

"Yeah," she admitted with downcast eyes, a blush rising to her face. "The clothes make me feel safe. And I feel ugly without them."

"Farah, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

She didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up again," he breathed and kissed her forehead. "But I'll remind you as often as it takes for you to believe it. You're beautiful."

He kissed her for a short moment, pulling away again. This felt so natural, the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"You're stunning."

Another kiss.

"You're strong."

A kiss.

"You're kind."

Kiss. She was laughing into his mouth by now, but he wouldn't stop, and she didn't refuse him.

"You're breathtaking."

Kiss.

"I mean it, love. You are beautiful, inside and out."

"Thank you," she whispered, tears shining in her eyes. "Can- can you do that more often?"

"What? Kissing you and telling you you're beautiful? I'll make it my life mission."

"No. Calling me love," she asked with a shy voice.

"Absolutely, love. With pleasure," he smiled and closed the distance between them again, pressing her body into his. "Though the life mission thing also still stands."

As they lay there together that night, their naked bodies searching for as much contact as possible, a faint smile crept on her face. His breathing slowed beneath her cheek, sleep finding him a few moments before her, allowing her a moment to reflect on everything. She just wanted to stay here in Saul's embrace forever, finally having reached what she had yearned for so long. But their family was waiting for them, the school as well, and they'd have to leave for Alfea again the next morning, but for now, they existed solely in their perfect little bubble of bliss.

It was new roles, new lives that they had been thrust into, everything around them changing with rapid speed. The only constant was their unwavering connection that remained steadfast, their hands always reaching for the other only to hold on with a death grip. They needed each other, because together, they could manage. Together, they could somehow get through it all and end up on the other side breathing and alive, no matter what fate threw their way.