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“Okay what’s your favorite color?” He read from the list of questions in the ‘1000 Questions to Get to Know Your Partner’ book.
“Uh, black? Red maybe?” Nervous adjusted himself on the bed, “You?”
“Cosmic latte,” Pascal responded like he’d been waiting his whole life for someone to ask that, “It’s the average color of the universe as perceived from Earth’s atmo-”
Nervous laughed to himself, “I know that smartass, you’ve told me about a million times.”
He sat up from Pascal’s arms and grabbed the book from his hands, “I can’t believe my therapist is making us do this, all of these questions are super boring, and they aren’t helping me understand myself or communicate better at all.” Nervous flipped through the pages still not impressed by anything he was reading, “Boring. Boring. You don’t wanna know that one. Ew. Still Boring.” He sighed in defeat and handed back the book, curling himself back up in his boyfriend’s arms.
Pascal looked through the book and stopped at a page, “This one’s good. I don’t think you’ve ever told me this.” “It’s a stupid question then if I haven't told you,” Nervous groaned.
“You don’t even know what I was gonna ask.”
“Don’t got to, I know it’s stupid.”
“I’m asking anyway.”
“Fuuuuuuuckkkk.”
Pascal put the book open on his chest and started playing with Nervous’s hair, “Who was your first kiss and what do you remember about them?” It felt like a wave of memories he’d tried to block out flowed back through him, but he needed a moment to process his thoughts, because damn this was a good question. “You first,” he poked Pascal’s side. Pascal turned red and scratched his neck awkwardly, “C’mon Nerv, it’s a really embarrassing story.”
“I’m telling Diane you wouldn’t work with me on this.”
“She won’t care, you’re her patient, not me.”
Nervous squinted at him in a way that reminded Pascal of a pissed off soft-shell turtle. “Okay fine, but you can’t judge me too much. I was 17 and stupid,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “Circe Beaker.” “What?!” Nervous sat up nearly yelling. Pascal made a shushing motion and pointed to Tycho in his crib, “Look when we were younger and Mom was in the hospital right before she died, Vidcund was sort of in a rough place mentally. We all were, but it affected him the most. Anyways he was dating Circe at the time and he wanted to test if she was actually loyal. It was stupid, so so stupid.”
Nervous was getting into this story now, “Go on.”
“So one day I was walking with her on the way home from school, Vidcund was there too. We had this whole thing planned out, he would ‘go to the bathroom’ at the grocery store on the way, leaving me and Circe alone when I would try to make a move. I did, but I just barely touched her lips before she pushed me to the ground, then Vidcund jumped out with this upset monologue of ‘I knew you never really liked me’ and whatever. Anyways she kicked him so hard he peed himself. My actual first reciprocated kiss was at some college party and the guy called me a bad kisser after, so I went home and cried.”
Pascal looked at Nervous to gauge his reaction, but Nervous just made a blank face. “Holy shit,” he said in a monotone voice, but his weird blinking pattern showed his shock. Pascal pushed him a little bit trying to shift the embarrassment, but he knew Nervous’s story couldn’t be worse than his, “It’s your turn.” Nervous shook his head trying to process what he just heard, “Yeah. Give me a second, I need to try and remember the best I can.” Pascal kissed the tip of his nose, “Take your time.”
They sat in silence for a few more seconds before he started talking again, “Her name was Annie. I don’t remember exactly how we met, but we’d been friends for a while when it happened. It was more platonic; I was just curious.” He started blushing awkwardly, while Pascal giggled to himself. Nervous gave him a good side eye before continuing, “She lived in the trailer park right on the edge between Strangetown and Sedona that no one wants to get caught in. She had a bad family like I did, so I guess we bonded over that. Anyways we used to hang out a lot to get away from home. I remember she liked girls and had a new crush almost every week. I was so jealous of her, she got to see other people all the time, she used to party and get drunk, and she could date whoever she felt like. She was free. I remember telling her one time that I was about to turn 18 and never kissed anyone before, and she asked if she could kiss me. I was a little confused because we were never romantic before that, but I agreed because I didn’t know if I’d ever get an opportunity like that again. It was awkward, but I remember we always joked about it after it happened.”
Pascal was listening intently and staring at Nervous, “Do you still talk to her?” Nervous shook his head, “I haven’t seen her in almost two years, but I wonder how she’s doing sometimes.” He felt Pascal’s hand under his eye and realized that he was wiping away a tear. Nervous didn’t even realize that he was crying. Pascal leaned in and kissed him a few times on the cheek, “I think Diane will be really proud of you.” “Shut up,” Nervous scrunched up his nose before pulling Pascal in for a real kiss.