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Staring up at the stars, what a primal instinct it’s been for all of humanity since the dawn of creation. The unknown, the curiosity, the wonder in it. How long have humans been looking up at the night sky? And how many of your ancestors have done just the same; sitting, staring, and questioning?
What’s out there? How do you fit in to any of it? In this vast field of stars, of people, of planets—why are you the one to go on this cosmic journey?
New Atlantis had too much light pollution to look up and stargaze at night. Akila city had too much dust and sand in the air. But now, in the cockpit of the Frontier, the entire universe stretches out for your curious, pondering eyes.
Quiet moments, when everyone is asleep and the ship drifts across the blackest sea, are rare. It’s an opportunity to sit and really think. At times, maybe the constant hustle and bustle from place to place, mission to mission, is good. It’s a distraction, that much is clear. The lively conversations among your crew, Sarah jotting down notes about unexplored systems, Cora with her enthusiastic book reports—is comforting.
You may not always have them. It may be, in time, this quiet, contemplative silence is all you have left.
It’s a chilling, anxiety-ridden truth that you’ve been forced to think of more and more. Especially now.
With every new temple you discover, every new power you gain, a rift grows between you and the others. There’s a distinct feeling to it.
Sarah and Noel look at you like you’re something to be studied. Barrett uses constant humor and jokes to cover his nervousness. Andreja feels threatened by the power imbalance.
Only Sam continues to treat you the same.
Sam—wonderful, optimistic, loving, Sam.
Your shining light in the dark.
Every outcome is uncertain, but his promises of staying with you—always being at your side, no matter what—is a comfort unlike anything else.
A long-winded sigh leaves you. Your mind can’t help but wander into the worst-case scenarios or worry about the unknown. If these temples turn you into some kind of monster… what then? If your destiny takes you on a different path than his, how can you see it coming? Could you even prevent it?
What about Cora? Will she grow up without you? Her own path taking her elsewhere?
Is this all for nothing? Is this endless space an indifferent, uncaring, void that only seeks to be filled with violence—
Soft hands caress your tense shoulders. “Hey. What’re you doing up?”
Like a light switch being flipped, the anxious, spiraling thoughts cease. A lucid calm washes over you.
You lean back in your pilot’s seat, feeling the warmth of Sam behind you. “Couldn’t sleep.” You murmur.
He hums softly, leaning down closer to you. “What’s bothering you, sweetheart?”
“It’s hard to say.”
“Hmm…” He presses soft kisses to your shoulder, gently kneading the other. “Describe how you’re feeling.”
“Frustrated. I guess. I have so many questions.”
His thumbs move to massage between your shoulder blades. “I can tell, you’re very tense.”
This makes you chuckle, a breathy and tired sound. You can feel his short beard against your neck. His lips ghost over your skin. “Come back to bed, we can work some of that frustration out.”
A very tempting offer. Other nights you would happily accept to be whisked away in his arms, forget everything, and curl up next to him to start a new day. But something stops you.
He can feel your hesitation. His lips hover and his hands pause.
“It’s…It’s not just that…” You frown at the stars. Sam’s faint reflection in the glass watches you with caring, patient eyes.
“I’m…I’m scared—terrified, actually.” As if a great floodgate opens, you release your thoughts into the still air. “I don’t know what’s coming next; I rely on Constellation to have at least some idea of what we’re getting into. Seeing Sarah and Noel just as confused as I am…it’s really unsettling. These temples and powers…what if they change me into someone—or something—unrecognizable?”
Your breath quickens. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so much responsibility on my shoulders now, it’s all so sudden. What if I screw up? What if I get someone hurt—what if I get you hurt? Or if I make the wrong choice and—”
“Whoa, whoa. Easy. Take a deep breath.”
You do, filling your lungs just as he does, as he guides you along.
In and out. Slow. In and out.
Your heart calms, just a little, but your racing thoughts still tumble around your mind. “Thanks.” You whisper, leaning your head back against his shoulder and closing your eyes.
“Stand up. I wanna hold you.”
His hands guide you out of the chair, sliding under your arms and around you like a safety net. Your hands lay over his. They’re always so warm, while yours are always cold.
His body presses against yours, flooding you with his warmth, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He murmurs into your skin. “It’s alright. I’ve got you. I will always be with you.” His fingers tangle with yours, smooth and practiced.
“It’s natural to make mistakes—and it’s not your fault. You’re learning just like the rest of us. There’s no way you can predict the future, so go easy on yourself. Making mistakes is human.” He trails light kisses up your neck to the shell of your ear. “As for everything else—we take it one step at a time, together. If something doesn’t feel right, we can adjust or take a break. Don’t push yourself. The universe isn’t going anywhere.”
Tears dot the corner of your eyes as you smile and nod. Your voice is barely a whisper. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Anytime, love.”
You take some more steadying breaths, feeling your lungs fill and empty out rhythmically. “You always know exactly what to say.”
He chuckles, his breath is warm against your skin. “I know you, and I know how it feels to be weighed down by anxious thoughts.”
After a few more minutes of watching the stars, feeling your mind slow and your thoughts ease, “I think I’m ready for bed now.”
“You sure? I can give you some more time alone if you need it.”
“Nah.” You turn in his arms to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’re greeted with the softest blue eyes and a loving smile. “I’m good now.”
Sam presses his forehead to yours. “I love you. You know that right?”
“Of course.” You press a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too.”
His content, happy, sigh—one of your favorite noises—lifts your heart out of the gloom.