Work Text:
Aziraphale was trying to follow Crowley's outpour of words. But it was hard. It was as if a volcano erupted and there was no possible way to stop it. He saw aggravated and annoyed Crowley before. But never like this. He was enraged. Naïve optimist as he was, he didn't expect such a reaction. He really thought that Crowley would accept his proposal and go with him to Heaven. Who wouldn't be happy to get a second chance? And such a magnificent second chance?! But no!! Obviously not Crowley. Of course not. He hated Heavens since they expelled him and banished him to Hell. And for what reason?! Only because he asked a few questions! Deep down Aziraphale always thought that was a bit of an overreaction from God, or whoever was responsible for Crowley's expulsion. It was a big firm. It could easily be one or another official's mistake. But it was what it was and now he had a chance to return. Obviously, Crowley didn't agree.
Aziraphale was flabbergasted by demon's reaction. He just couldn't grasp what Crowley was telling him. He agreed with him they could always rely on each other. That was so true. So many proofs in the past. But what did he mean when he said they are a group of two?? Group of friends? Or?? Surely, he didn't mean to say they were a couple?! And what was that about that he would like to spend with him? Life? Eternity? Clearly, Crowley didn't mean to say that. Or did he? Did he??!!
Trying to stay as calm as possible, which was more like the work of a Sisyphus, he heard Crowley proposing for them to go off together. Nothing new. He did it so many times before. But Aziraphale never took him seriously. He just thought the demon tried to avoid problems and responsibilities he didn't like. This time, however, was different. He saw it in his eyes. They were glowing. Radiating. Crowley turned his gaze up to the ceiling as if fighting back tears. His voice was breaking and he couldn't finish what he wanted to say. Is it possible he feels for the angel the same way Aziraphale feels for the demon? Is this possible? Do demons have feelings? Apart from negative ones?
The strain of questions that overflowed his thoughts caused turmoil inside of himself. Turmoil was so strong he never felt before. He tried to pull himself together. Organize his thoughts. But it was difficult when they were rushing here and there through his head, intertwining and bumping into each other. He felt like his head was going to explode at any moment.
All these questions ran through his mind although Aziraphale knew very well that Crowley had feelings. He had always believed that he was, in essence, good. That he was made so grumpy and ill-tempered by those in Heaven who had no patience for his questions. They questioned common sense of the almighty. And that's blasphemy! Deep down Aziraphale agreed with him, but preferred to keep this opinion to himself. He saw too many fallen angels. Even though Crowley had told him once that it wasn't that bad once you got used to it, he didn't want to end up like him. He still preferred cleanliness of Heaven to dirt of Hell.
But now he just couldn't believe what he was hearing. It looked like his feelings were reciprocated and he felt a little ping of hope. Hope that they can return back to Heaven and be together for eternity. Metatron said it's possible. That he can appoint Crowley to be an angel again. If only the demon didn't look so enraged with this proposal, they could be together in Heaven and run it. Now that Gabriel is gone and Metatron offered him the position of Supreme Archangel. How can Crowley reject such a proposal? How can he reject it if he really wants to be with him?
Aziraphale, looking at Crowley's face, felt that ping of hope was weaker and weaker. He tried to convince the demon with his soft voice, looking him straight to his glowing eyes. Begging to go to Heaven with him. But the demon did not budge and insisted Aziraphale couldn't leave his bookshop. Not for Heaven.
He stepped as close to the demon as he could and blurted out "Nothing lasts forever." He didn't know why he said that. It just escaped his mouth without his permission. He didn't mean to hurt Crowley, but the demon, hearing those words, looked like somebody gave him the last fatal blow. He looked utterly beaten, and after short consideration, agreed with him, put his glasses on, and strode towards the bookshop doors wishing him "good luck."
A ping of hope was replaced by a sting of panic. Where is he going? Aziraphale called after him, tried to convince him one last time to go with him to heaven, admitting that he needed him. How couldn't he understand Aziraphale needs him? But Crowley told him he understood better than him. And pointed out there are no nightingales singing acknowledging their relationship is over. So Aziraphale gave in to fate and turned around trying to hide his tears. He couldn't bear to watch Crowley leaving. Not like this. Not after he told him what he meant to him. He admitted he cared for him, but now he's leaving?! It was too much for him. But then he heard him approaching. Moments later Crowley grabbed his collar, turned him face to face, and kissed him. It was a long, passionate, and rough kiss. Kiss in which he put thousands of years of yearning and hiding love so great that didn't have a comparison in all the universe. But also, thousands of years of blindness and denial. And now, when all the curtains fell down. When there was no doubt how the angel and the demon felt about each other. Now the angel still couldn't get out of his corporate box. So, he swallowed words of love that tried to escape his mouth and told the demon he forgives him.