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Daryl wants to scream.
The branches whip his arms, and the Georgia sun is beating down on them as he all but drags Beth after him. He could still smell the smoke, his ears rang with the explosions.
A tank.
A god damn fucking tank.
“Daryl, move!” Deidre barked. The ink black she-wolf snapped her fangs at his heels. His throat was tight, and he could feel her grief as they raced through the woods. Beth stumbled, but kept running and raising her little pea-shooter even when the bullets ran out and she had to resort to her silver and bone knife. He kept one eye on her while Deidre scooped up the farm girl’s little fox by his scruff and kept plowing through the underbrush like a battering ram. It yelped, but curled its hind legs up helpfully as they ran like the Devil himself was behind them.
Daryl guessed he kinda was.
***
The small fire smokes more than it burns, the underbrush damp from a brief burst of rain. He eyed his fellow survivor as he cleaned out the flight groove of his crossbow. He’s fine to take the time as Deidre watches the perimeter, her eyesight far exceeding his. Her eyes glowed eerily in the dark, her pitch colored fur all but disappearing into the shadows like some fairy tale ghost or avenging spirit. Her paw steps were near silent, Daryl only able to pick up the faint tread from experience and a life time of Ole Man Dixon beating it into his head to be aware.
He never thought he’d ever have a scrap of gratitude towards his ole man and his boar Dæmon, but for all their faults, he’d taught them to survive this world. Unlike some parents, he thought with a now all too familiar pang of grief and guilt as he watched over at his companion.
Beth Greene dozed lightly across from him, her little white fox asleep in her arms like some fuckin’ stuffed animal that she’s probably had dozens of growin’ up in that picture perfect farmhouse on that storybook farm that seems like it was from some other world. She was here, and alive. He got her out, got her past the Walkers and the despair that tugged them both down to the dirt.
His throat immediately closes, eyes burning. He wants to blame the smoke, but knows that’s not it. It’s her being here. Beth Greene who likes to sing Irish songs and country radio music to a bawling baby girl. Her white fox with those coffee colored eyes and gentle voice. They’re here. They’re alive.
But the rest of his people (pack, Deidre corrects sharply. Their pack, their family, are gone) aren’t.
Daryl doesn’t have to keep an eye on a wriggling Judith and her tiny ever-changing Dæmon, making sure his favourite Lil’ Asskicker was sleepin’ easy. Deidre isn’t playing with Carl’s sorrowful lioness, trying to put that smile on that too-damn-grown boy’s face. That easy, free kind that he ain’t really seen since Carl walked outta the prison with Lil’ Asskicker and a Settled Rhiannon at his side and Lori nowhere to be found. Rick and Clíodna and aren’t sitting next to him, silent and vigilant. He has no fuckin’ clue where Carol and Jericho are, but it’s probably not good. Not matter how fierce the little woman and her Lynx were, they were alone in a world not meant for individual survival.
Michonne and her African Wild Dog. Maggie and her German shepherd probably went down with Glenn and Jae, always together those four. Sasha, Tyresse, Bob. Those kids and their flickering little souls.
Hershel and Maire. The old man who survived a fucking apocalypse style amputation and all the hell before he died right in fronta them, his sweet Pyrenees’ howl rattling around in his skull. Daryl cursed, his knuckles scraping against the risers and opening up a scab in his distraction. “Daryl” Deidre whispered in the dark, like some fuckin’ ghost, “enough”. Daeyl glances at his Dæmon, the she-wolf’s ears folded down and lips pulled back. Her voice is rougher than sandpaper, and hollow sounding. He doesn’t respond.
Anyone who took two seconds to think about what a fucking Wolf Dæmon meant knew exactly why she looked ready to kill right now.
‘ C’mon, now baby brother. You ain’t gonna get all weepy, are ya?’ Merle’s voice taunted from beyond his vision, same as always. ‘I know you ain’t too attached to that wolf pack thing. Shit, you’ve always been more ornery than me around people’. Daryl didn’t bother defending himself, didn’t both telling Merle that a wolf was only comfortable around their pack, not strangers. Merle didn’t give two shits in life, just wanting to show off Deidre’s teeth to his tweaker buddies. No point even tryin’ in death.
“Now what?” Daryl asked, not looking up from his work as the giant light from the fire flickered, making monsters out of branches.
Deidre licked over her teeth, ears flicking as she thought. The she-wolf knew what he was really asking. What are they gonna do about Beth and her fox? What are they gonna do without Rick and Clíodna’s guidance? What are they gonna do to survive without their pack?
The she-wolf looked down at Beth. The firelight turned the girl’s hair to sunlight, and exhaustion couldn’t steal the softness from her face. The fox (Benignus, she remembered he’d whispered on that long run from the ruins of their den. But his friends called him Beni) snuffled, a tiny paw, not bigger than one of her toe pads pawed at his nose. “Now we keep them alive” she said softly to Daryl. What else was there to do than keep protecting?
What were they if not the guardian? The hunter, the provider and caretaker?
It’s forged in their bones, written in their very essence. They’ll just keep doing it. They’ll keep Beth and her fox alive and forget the ones they failed (and they did fail. They shouldn’t have abandoned the hunt for The Governor) and keep moving. Keep going forwards and never look back. Deidre laid down near Beth and the fox, ready and watching. Daryl set his crossbow down and laid back in the dirt, shoving away the memories of his broken spring cot and quiet cell. “We’ll look for a water source tomorrow” he said into the dark, “need one if we’re gonna keep goin’ anywhere”. Deidre chuffed in acknowledgment, ears pricked and attentive.
“Tomorrow” she agreed. Tomorrow they would leave the prison and its memory behind them. No use looking back, they’re not going that way. Deidre knew this, she’d always known shit like that would drag ‘em down and kill ‘em. The she-wolf eyes her human from across the fire, the tenseness of his jaw, the clenching and unclenching of his fists. She sighed, low and tired.
Daryl had never been good at leaving the past where it lay. She just hopes it wouldn’t make him do nothin’ stupid.
She took first watch, staying awake through the witching hours, ears up and nose twitching. She didn’t let herself think of anything beyond protecting what’s in her little camp. The people around this fire are her only concern now, the only ones she could allow herself to focus on. Eventually, her muzzle comes to rest on her wide forepaws, Daryl blinking fuzzily awake as he loaded a bolt into his crossbow and took watch.
Neither wolf nor man noticed the pairs of sky blue and earth brown eyes watching them with curiosity and no small amount of hope.
***
Deidre prowls the top of the ravine where Daryl and Beth are refilling their water battles. She can’t smell the sickly, old rot and gore smell that pervaded Walkers, the smell distinct from the earthy sweet smell of regular decomposition, but it never hurts to be cautious.
“Are y’all okay?” a soft, delicate voice, like velvet or honey asks.
Deidre glanced down, seeing Benignus standing about halfway up the slope, head tilted. That must be the extent of his and Beth’s range, which is pathetic compared to hers and Daryl’s. “Fine” she deadpanned, ears swivelling as a branch cracked a few feet away.
“But you’re so far away” Benigus whispered, like revealing some secret, eyes wide and sad.
Deidre flashed her teeth in irritation as she stood and trotted away. What the fuck kinda question is that? Everyone knows about their bond and how far they can travel from each other. How else were they gonna track anything worth a damn? The smell of rot hit her nose, hackles rising as she dropped to her belly in the bushes, watching the Walker trip and shuffle around.
‘Hey now hon, you know why foxy down there is doin’ a wellness check. You know that you lost something in those woods when you lost Daryl. Foxy just wants to make sure it wasn’t your god damn mind’
Deidre flicks her eyes to the side, doing her damnest to ignore the croaky voiced, scarred up Wolverine lounging on the sunny rocks above the Walker. “Fuck off Macha” she muttered. She doesn’t need this shit right now, she’s got bigger problems than some like fox questioning why she and Daryl can leave each others side. ‘ Oh boo fuckin’ hoo. C’mon baby girl, you don’t think foxy is right to be a little worried? I know I damn near pissed myself when me an’ Merle can home to Daryl sittin’ on the front step and you nowhere to be found’ Macha shuddered.
She knows. She could feel Daryl’s hurt when Merle and Macha had started shoutin’. But she had been far away in the trees and streams and free of Ole Man Dixon and his snapping hyena Dæmon. She’d been free and ran with wolves and deer and swam with salmon and otters without fear.
“So? I’m here now and I ain’t left his dumbass since” she quipped, creeping closer to the Walker. And she hadn’t, not since she’d felt Daryl dying and come Ravi g home to find the Ole Man choking him out, screamin’ about soulless monsters wearing his son’s face. She’d damn near bitten his hyena’s face off and hadn’t left Daryl’s side again, taking him back to the woods with her, hiding under trees and drinking from cold, clean streams. The Walker turned, back to her and she leapt with a snarl.
Her whole weight came down on it, heavy paws driving into his shoulders and bones crunching beneath her. The Walker writhed and jerked, but it was no match for her fury as she snapped her jaws around its neck, rot and decay making it fragile. A few tugs were all she needed to rip the spinal cord, the head rolling away from the corpse and snapping helplessly at the air.
‘ I know you ain’t leavin’ Darylina, bitch would bawl like a baby’ Macha snorted, ‘maybe foxy is worried you’re gonna drop their useless ass and take your chances alone’ .
Deidre regards her sister’s sly smirk. She’d be lying if she said it hadn’t at least crossed her mind. What kinda life can they give Beth and Benignus out here? But they aren’t that person anymore, can’t stomach the idea of leaving the pale singing duo in some town or camp with people who wouldn’t know about her Daddy’s kindness or her spitfire sister. People who wouldn’t know how she’d slit her wrists but fought to come back from it. Who lost her Mama, brother, home and now her Daddy and sister but still said ‘thank you’ and ‘yes please’ like they were at some fuckin’ school trip or restaurant.
‘Awww, baby girl. You got a crush?’ Macha teased.
She’s didn’t even bother answering that one. “Can you please just fuck off to the Afterlife or some shit? Leave me in peace?” she asked. Her growled lowly when she heard the moans and shuffling of more Walkers coming their way. She backed up, watching Macha’s sad smile. ‘Nah, baby girl. I’m with you, always. Like I promised’ she said. Deidre’s throated ached, heart hurting. “Is haunting us easier than staying with us woulda been?” she asked. Macha didn’t answer, already gone like a dream in the morning, but Deidre could still hear her croaky, sandpaper rough laugh echoing around the trees.
Deidre tilts her muzzle back, a long, morose howl ripping out of her. One long, followed by two shorter ones. Her and Daryl’s signal for danger.
She feels him tuggin’ on their bond, urging her back to them as she loped through the woods. She knew it was useless, but she couldn’t help but keep an ear on the trees, hoping to hear a whistling screech from Clíodna, Jericho’s pitchy yowl or a pounding roar from Rhiannon.
She doesn’t.
But when she reaches Daryl, helping Beth hike up the ravine’s side, she stops short. She hears Benigus give a chirp, followed by a loud, guttural sound in his throat. Beth blinks in surprise, and Deidre chuckles. “Well shit,” she laughed, trotting out of the trees. “Even I know that your singing ain’t that bad” she teased. Daryl huffed, shouldering his crossbow, but Deidre can see his lip curl slightly in amusement at Beth’s eye roll. They set off at a jog, and the Walkers are far enough back that Deidre doesn’t think she needs to carry Benignus by his scruff right now. Best to let him work for some stamina now when it’s relatively safe.
The little fox chitters, ears flicking. “Good thing I wasn’t singing then” he says, “I heard ya howl. I wanted you to be able to find us” he explains with a kind and gentle look.
The little fox trots ahead, joining his human with a chirp. Deidre shakes out her coat, glancing up to Daryl, who is doing his best to ignore her. But she’s a part of him and she can feel the warmth growing in his chest. It’s echoed in her own. They wanted to make sure they can be found. They wanted to answer. Deidre gives a dog like grin that makes Daryl roll his eyes, and wags her tail. She lopes after Beth, who gives her a sweet and blinding smile and the pack (smaller now, but still precious) disappears into the trees, together.
They don’t look back.
***
Carl kicks his heels, waiting for Michonne to finish talking with his dad. They should get going now before the sun is too high, the heat is a killer these days. Rhiannon yawns, long fangs on display as the lioness paws at her face. They’d been up most of the night keeping an eye on dad and Clíodna, even though Michonne and Chenziri had told them to get some sleep.
They didn’t sleep anymore, not really.
He takes his dad’s Python out, clicking the chamber open to check the bullets. The click is soothing, reassuring to him. A part of him recoils from that, knowing his mom would’ve been horrified that he found a gun reassuring. Mostly, he tries not to think about it anymore.
Rhiannon sighed, leaning her heavy head into his side and rumbling. “Don’t go there, Carl. Not today” she said. They can’t afford to get lost in memories, it could get them or Michonne and Chenziri killed. Carl presses his face into her neck, grateful once again for her size. It was easy to hide his face in her, use her as a shield against the world, if only for a moment.
Rhiannon opens her mouth, as if to say something, but stops short. They both freeze as a long, mournful sound haunts the air. A howl.
A wolf’s howl.
“Dad!” Carl shouts, but dad and Clíodna are already next to him, eyes wide and searching. Michonne isn’t far behind, Chenziri throwing their muzzle as if to howl back, but stops. They look nervously behind them on the tracks, watching for those guys that had taken the house they’d been staying in. His dad squeezes his shoulder, a wild smile on his face.
“Dad. That was Deidre, wasn’t it?” he asked excitedly. Rhiannon chuffs, tail flicking next to him, her own excitement palpable. “I think so, but we can’t risk signalling back right now” he said. Michonne nods, but Carl can see how Chenziri deflates a little. “We have to let them know we heard” the Wild Dog insists. Carl nods in agreement, they can’t just do nothing. They have to find Deidre and Daryl.
Dad nods, face serious, “and we will. With a bit of luck, they’ve seen the Terminus signs too and are heading that way. Either way, we need to get somewhere safe before we start wandering around the woods. Daryl and Deidre are in their element right now, they can hold out, we can’t” he said. Carl purses his lips.
“But dad-“
“I know, son” dad interrupted. And looking in his eyes, Carl saw he did. He wanted to get to them just as bad as they did. “But we need to get safe first. Then we can go find them and bring them someplace safe instead of just back onto the road, okay?”
Rhiannon rumbled, teeth flashing in displeasure. But they both understood the logic, even if they didn’t like it. Carl wrapped an arm around Rhiannon’s shoulders, nodding. “Okay” he sighed. Michonne nudged them with her hip, a teasing smile on her face, “come on then. Faster we get there, the faster we can look for them” she said. Chenziri nibbles at Rhiannon’s chin, a caring gesture that makes Rhiannon purr softly and Carl smile. “Let’s go then” he said, setting off at a brisk pace with Rhiannon at his side. They had a wolf to find.