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Ri’kara sighed, stepping off the platform and looking up at the high, golden ceilings of the small spaceport. It had been a long time since she had been on a shuttle; she hoped it would be a while longer before the next time.
Clutching her bags more tightly, she began to walk quickly towards the check-in desk. The place was eerily quiet; she had been one of the only Protoss on board the shuttle, and the last to finally be allowed to leave after they had checked for any contamination, so once she was out, it was empty save for the staff.
“Excuse me?” She stood on the tip of her toes, just enough that her head would fully peek over the desk.
The Protoss behind the desk blinked, adjusting his glasses, and leaning forward. His eyes squinted slightly, age showing in how he had to strain to look at her. “What brings you here, young one? Do you not have a parent with you?”
“Ah, I…” Inwardly, Ri’kara rolled her eyes. It had been a while since she had to deal with something such as this. Instead of arguing, she simply pulled out the necessary papers from her bag, placing them on the counter. “I am here to check in.”
He adjusted his glasses again to read through the documents, and his eyes went wide for a moment, his crest flushing a deep blue. “I am terribly sorry; I did not mean to assume—”
“It’s no trouble.” She gave him a reassuring smile, feeling a little bad for being so curt. “I get that often.”
With a nod, the clerk processed the papers, giving them back to her with a neat little stamped seal in shimmering gold ink. Carefully, she neatened them up, clipped them back together, and placed them back into her bag.
“I hope you have a pleasant stay.”
“Thank you.”
Outside, it was overcast, the air cool and pleasant, leagues away from the oppressive Aiur sun that she had left behind. Before her was a courtyard paved in stone rather than metal, rich green plants fighting their way through the cracks in the cobbles, and at the centre of the courtyard was a small fountain with a bench that encircled it.
Part of her didn’t want to leave this little bubble of peace.
“I suppose I shouldn’t waste time.” She muttered to herself, beginning to walk.
He was supposed to meet her when she got off the shuttle and show her to wherever she was going to be staying; the idea of seeing him again sent a swirl of uneasy emotions down from her chest into her abdomen. After the way that he had wounded her, after the way that she had wounded him…
I won’t know if anything will heal completely until I spend any time with him…
The courtyard’s exit was a vine-covered archway that gave way to smooth paved stone rather than cobbles. Her eyes first landed on the signs far above pointing to different districts, a little worn with age but readable, then she frowned and looked at a note that she took from her breast pocket.
Here…?
“Ri’kara.” As though on cue, a familiar voice made her head snap back up, all three of her hearts jumping and beginning to thunder in her chest.
There he was. She hadn’t seen him since he had left Aiur.
He was a little skinnier than he used to be, the white, gold, and teal robes of a Judicator looking almost too big for him. One sleeve was empty. His new cords were similar to what he once had, though asymmetrical, with only two hanging down beside his crest on the left. It suited him; for a moment Ri’kara thought about how handsome he still was before pushing the thought deep down.
Finally, she met his expectant gaze. Those eyes were sharp still, though dulled with the dark circles that rimmed them.
Not getting enough sleep? She inwardly chuckled and thought about her own sleepless nights. It was no wonder.
“Arkhia.” The unfamiliar name was odd to say; she already couldn’t wait to be alone and say his proper name. She almost wished she could at least still call him Val’ka, but…
The silence stretched out between them as he straightened from leaning up against the signpost, giving her a short bow.
“Your trip was fine, I take it?” Even the way he spoke was reserved, tired.
Still, she nodded, beginning to follow him down the pathway he chose. “Yes. It has been… A while since I was in a spacecraft.” After a short pause, she added; “I didn’t have to fix anything with tape this time.”
“Tape?” Her companion chuckled softly. “I should hope not.”
Once again, that silence. She put the note back into her pocket and adjusted her hold on her bags.
“Perhaps I should carry something?”
“No. I can manage alone.”
Somehow she regretted adding the ‘alone’ on the end of that sentence, but he nodded without reacting, continuing to lead her along. There were a few other Protoss out and about, wrapped up for the chill air. Other Judicators, wearing the same uniform as the Protoss beside her, nodded to him, sometimes gave a smile, which he would carefully return.
Ri’kara tilted her head as another moved past. “You… Have certainly settled in.”
“Superficially.” He shrugged. “It has yet to feel that way.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, frowning all over again.
“I… Your operation was successful?”
“Yes. I will never be as psionically gifted, but it could have been far worse.” His eyes passed over her, and he softened slightly. “It was a small price to pay.”
Her hearts skipped almost painfully at that look, and she quickly moved her attention elsewhere, speaking briskly. “With training I am sure you can get yourself back to what you were before. I was always told that psionics were a muscle that needed to be used to stay strong.”
“Indeed.”
Finally, they stopped at a small house that was set further back than any of the others. They had to make their way down a narrow, almost overgrown pathway in order to get to the small garden gate.
“Is this…?”
“Ours, yes.”
That made her eyes widen slightly. “Ours? Do they think we’re—”
“No.” Alarak immediately held up a hand to cut off that question. “The others are full, and so the Executor had instructed that I have you stay with me. We are the only two Tal’darim on the colony, and we know each other well. Naturally, she thought that we would be more comfortable together.”
“… I see. Did you know?”
“I was informed of it this morning.”
“Oh…”
“Is that going to be an issue?”
Ri’kara hesitated, sighing as she weighed up her options. Or lack thereof. “No.”
Sharing a house? I was hoping for some space to begin with…
With a nod, he led her up the last of the pathway and to the door, which he unlocked using a small keycard. It struck her as a little unusual, but she paid it no mind as the door opened and they stepped inside.
The place was light and airy, the walls and floors made up of those gold, beige, and cream-white panels that were so often a feature of Khalai-made buildings. An archway to her left opened out into a small living space with windows covering the entirety of the outside wall, wrapping around the corner. To her right, another archway into a small, empty storage closet was nestled underneath the stairs that led up to the second floor. At the foot of those stairs, there was another closed door.
He saw her curious look. “That is a conservatory. There is a washroom just beyond.”
“Oh.” She couldn’t help but wince a little. The idea that they would have to share one brought up all sorts of different unpleasant and embarrassing scenarios in her mind; she would have to install a lock if there wasn’t one already.
“I will tell the Executor you have arrived. The bedroom on the right is mine.” With a gesture upstairs, he turned to move into the living room.
He seemed to want to waste no time in getting away from her. It made her feel guilty all over again; she had been curt, and though it was difficult to be in his company again, difficult to try and get through pleasantries without her hearts aching… She had missed him.
“A-alarak—”
He paused, his head turning to the side to look at her from the corner of his eye. “Yes?”
“… It’s… It’s good to see you again.”
That seemed to make something in him crumple like paper. His shoulders sagged, and she could have sworn she saw him tear up before he blinked and seemed to compose himself.
“It is… Pleasant to see you again, Ri’kara.”
She nodded, making her way up the stairs, and heading to the left door. A neat, untouched bedroom greeted her, with a small desk and a bookshelf, and a door to a washroom just next to it. Of course, the bed was too large, but as she made her way to the desk to place a bag on it, she frowned.
“Is… Did a youngling stay here? Surely not, the bed is as tall as it usually would be…”
Muttering to herself, she bent to check underneath the desk and blinked. Someone had lowered it; the telltale signs of soldering around the bottom of the supporting beams told her as much. For a moment, a thought crossed her mind, but she pushed it away.
Placing her bags down properly, she began to unpack what little she had, storing the clothes away in the little closet and putting the few books and scrolls she had on the bookshelf with the small trinkets she held most dear. She tried to ignore the fact that there was a ladder lent up against the wall next to it that seemed especially for her.
Finally, on the desk, she placed her important documents in the little drawer, her tools on its shelf, and laid out the plans she had drawn up with Etredar and the Matriarch’s phase-smith friend before leaving.
Zy’mun’s neat additions stood out starkly against the light blue parchment. She wondered, briefly, how they were doing before running her fingers against the sleek lines of her own sketches.
“I just need the materials. I should be able to pay for those here.”
She put the now empty bags by the bookshelf and made her way back down the stairs quietly, deciding to head into the conservatory.
The outside walls were made entirely of glass, the arches stretching all the way up and bending to cover part of the ceiling as well, filling the room with as much of the weak sunlight as it could. Sunlamps hung from the metal beams between the panes for when there was no sun to speak of, and the floor was made of the same matting as a training room. Cushions were neatly piled in pigeonholes along the inner wall, though some had been set down in the middle of the floor, crumpled from someone laying on them.
On the same wall as the entrance, there was another door. The washroom, most likely.
Ri’kara edged around the pile of pillows and headed over. To her dismay, there was no lock, so she made a mental note to get that project started when she had the means and stepped inside.
The windows here still made up most of the outer wall but were frosted, thankfully. The bath was large, set into the floor, and rimmed with benches. There were shelves for cosmetics and soaps, a rack for towels, and a mirrored cabinet above the sink.
The sink… The little Tal’darim tilted her head at the stool that had been soldered to its base. She hopped onto it and found it to be the perfect height for access. Again, she had that thought, watching her expression soften in the mirror.
“He really thought ahead for me, didn’t he?”
Opening the cabinet, she found he had put medical supplies inside, just as they both used to on Aiur.
I’ll have to bring my own things down to go in here.
She closed the little door, looking at herself again in the mirror. Was this really going to be worth the effort? Was this even a good idea?
She hated that she didn’t know.
Hopping off the stool, she made her way back through the conservatory and into the hallway, listening to see if he was still talking to the Executor. When she was met with silence, she crept quietly into the living room.
Alarak was sat on a chair, frowning as he read through various pieces of parchment, placing them in little neat piles. He twitched when he heard her footsteps but did not look up. “Everything to your liking?"
"Yes. I’ll put a lock on the washroom door.”
He shrugged. “I doubt we will have the same schedule.”
“… I guess it’s something we can discuss.” She shrugged in turn. “Alarak…?”
He looked up from his work, eyes narrowing. “What?”
“Well, really, I should thank you.” She played a little with her calloused hands. “You… had my room prepared? And the stool in the washroom?”
Inexplicably, his tone became a little gruff. “… Yes. I remembered what you had done to your own room on Aiur and had the same arranged. It simply saves time.”
Ri’kara stood there awkwardly in the silence after she nodded, wringing her hands together. Alarak had already turned his attention back to what she assumed was his work, and so she sighed.
“Well… Thank you. I’ll leave you to this.”
“I am required to take you to meet the executor tomorrow; she will tell you what is expected here.”
“Alright.”
The sun filtered weakly through the light curtains, falling on her face as she stared up at the gold ceiling and sighed. The sleepless nights had not got better; it was like being on Slayn all over again.
Rubbing her eyes, she sat up, a slight dizziness hitting her before she got out of bed and opened up the curtains. It was clouded again, shafts of sunlight filtering through the grey blanket and onto the very green surroundings.
With another soft sigh, she pulled on her robe and left the room, quietly making her way downstairs. She hadn’t heard any movement from the room across the hall, so she figured that she would have some time to herself just to take in the sun from larger windows.
Sure enough, the small living space was empty. For some reason, the relief she felt was mixed with disappointment, as though she had partially hoped he was already down there. The sensation made her frown.
Rifling through the drawers of the cabinet by the archway, she found a drawer full of measures of Terrazine, and another filled with incense sticks.
“At least he thought of that too. I hope those aren’t for smoking…”
Taking one of the sticks, she lit it with a psionic spark and curled up right by the windowed wall in a large patch of soft gold, looking out at the leafy view.
The garden that concealed the small house from the main walkway was overgrown, weeds clinging to the trunks of the trees and peeking up from between the bushes. Cream coloured flowers grew everywhere there was space, large stamen attracting larger insects that flitted between them, covering themselves in the dusty orange pollen.
Maybe I could make a bench and sit out there in the mornings… After I’ve cleared the place, that is.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the creak of the floor above her, weight shifting as her housemate got out of bed. Inwardly, she sighed, tucking herself up a little more comfortably and resting her head on her free hand.
It was a few minutes before she heard him come down the stairs and stop by the archway that led from the hallway into the room.
“… Good morning.”
She paused and then moved her head a little to glance at him. “Good morning.”
Alarak considered her for a moment, and then sat on one of the seats, making sure to choose one that bathed him in sunlight. After a pause that seemed like an age, he decided to speak again.
“You look as though you have not slept.”
For a moment, she considered lying, but she knew it would get her nowhere. “… I haven’t.”
He nodded. “Not for a while, I take it.”
“What, are you actually worried for me now?” Ri’kara couldn’t help but let that jab slip in. She could feel him flinch, even if outwardly he barely reacted.
“Concerned for how little rest you have had.”
“Well, it’s not like my nightmares have helped.” She looked back outside and held herself tightly. “It doesn’t make for a nice, restful sleep. I’m sure you know whose fault that is.”
“… I do.”
She scoffed. “I guess that’s why you haven’t slept either.”
Silence crept between them, and then he sighed. “Yes.”
They said nothing after that, taking in the strengthening sun. A more intense feeling of guilt crawled up her ribcage and grabbed her hearts to squeeze.
Why should I feel guilty? It’s his fault I’m like this in the first place.
Taking in more of her incense, she turned properly towards him and let out a sigh that was more like a growl.
“I didn’t mean to jab at you like that—”
“No. It is deserved.”
What? She wasn’t used to that; even after so many decades working with him and seeing him grow so much, she had never once heard him admit that he deserved any sort of consequence so readily.
Her confusion didn’t go unnoticed. “I expected this; how could I not after what I have inflicted on you?” He lifted his only hand in a shrugging motion, the stump of his other arm moving with it before he got up and took one of the Terrazine vials from the drawer.
She couldn’t think what to say to that. Instead, she turned her attention to the purple swirling inside the tube. “… I didn’t think you could get that here.”
“Artanis ensured I had a supply so that I may continue what I had started on Aiur.”
“… I’m glad they’re still honouring my request.”
“Cutting it out completely without weening would kill me now regardless; I was foolish and allowed an overdose in the pits.”
A flash of anger shot through her at that; just another bad decision on top of all of his other bad decisions. Fucking idiot. “By accident or on purpose?”
“That was an accident.” He snapped back, glaring slightly. “I did not want to die, Ri’kara.”
“Sure. Like it wouldn’t have been the easier way out. Just like everything else.”
His glare hardened as he stepped forward. “You—”
He stopped, letting himself deflate. The silence was tense while she waited for a response, the spiteful part of her hoping that he would continue the argument.
“… Think what you wish; I will take this outside. Get yourself ready in the meantime. I was told to bring you by noon.”
With that, he swept down the hallway and out of the front door.
All she could do was nod, feeling worse in the aftermath. Part of her had wanted to keep arguing; she liked the familiarity of the bickering, what was worse is that she liked that it seemed to hurt him, but…
She pushed her conscience aside.
Well, he wants the punishment. I’ll give it to him.
She rubbed her face, discarding her incense and trudging up the stairs to get washed and dressed for the day. Hopefully meeting the executor would go better.
Ri’kara dragged herself home, suddenly exhausted from the long day and cursing how far the house was from the forge. At the very least she was making progress there, even if everything else seemed to be falling apart.
Maybe if I go back to Aiur, I’ll be able to go into smithing there…
She sighed to herself.
Alarak had been increasingly annoying. Her days had stretched out longer, sometimes well after it was dark, and whenever she came back from such shifts, he had darted back into the living room, pretending that he hadn’t been waiting at the door.
Part of her understood it; it was a remnant of Aiur, when her being out alone would have meant a possible accident or ambush. But Chione was safe, and so it was grating.
It was even more grating that he still refused to acknowledge his worry. In fact, everything about him was grating. He took her jabs and quips on the chin, resigning himself to her anger as though all he could think to do was take the punishment. He wouldn’t answer her questions or even try to argue, and so they wandered the house in silence, coexisting until the next spat.
She pulled herself out of her thoughts and took in the outside. It was dark on this occasion too, the nebulous pattern of stars dancing overhead with the colony’s twin moons, the silvery light glinting against the huge, far-off biodomes that peeked up above the treeline.
For a moment, she stopped to stare, shivering slightly in the cold breeze… It was different from Aiur’s skyscape, even the light of the moon there was tinged with a warmer hue, but it was no less beautiful. She stayed there for several long moments, just taking it in, letting the stress pour out of her head until the silence was suddenly broken.
“Ri’kara.”
Inwardly, she sighed, dropping her gaze from the sky to look at Alarak instead. “… Arkhia. What are you doing out?”
“… I was taking a walk. Is that allowed, Ri’kara?”
“Of course. Don’t let me stop you.” It was obviously a lie, but she didn’t want to bother pursuing it further. Instead, she began to walk in the direction of the house again, neatly skirting around him to do so and not giving him a second glance.
After a few moments, she heard footsteps that quickly fell in rhythm with hers, a little unevenly, and she looked up at him.
“I thought you were out for a walk. Or have you changed your mind?”
He was quiet, but then he sighed, hard frown softening. “… I was not.”
Ri’kara raised a brow, waiting for him to explain himself.
“I was concerned; you’ve been out for far longer than usual. I came to look for you, considering you never state when you are going to be late.”
“I am fine by myself, you know. I don’t need babysitting.”
Once again, she felt guilty for the jab. This time, however, he didn’t take it lying down. He shook his head, looking down at her and frowning all over again. “Your tone is not appreciated, Ri’kara; is it a crime to be concerned for a friend?”
“Not that I need your concern. Just fucking say you’re worried for once instead of being so stupidly insistent on making the differentiation.”
Alarak growled. “Fine. You constantly making a point to stay out for as long as possible worries me. Is that better, Ri’kara?”
“Yes. Thank you for being truthful. For once.”
At that, he scoffed. “Ah, so that is what you want out of me.”
Unexpectedly, anger flared up in her chest at his bitter tone, and she shot him a harsh glare. “Wasn’t it always? You know, a little honesty now and then rather than hiding whatever it is you’re too cowardly to say out loud.”
“I am not a coward—”
“You could have fooled me.” She turned down the path, pushing past the more overgrown bushes that crept out onto the walkway leading up to the house they were staying in. “Everything you’ve done since you made that deal has been cowardly. You did nothing but lie to me; you broke your promise. You can’t say what you really think, you couldn’t tell me your plans, or even just say how you felt. I thought you—”
Her words caught, unable to say it aloud. She gripped the two clasps on her cord and growled with irritation, trying to blink away tears. “I thought you cared. You were quite content to die to escape responsibility and now you’re quite content to take my anger without trying. What are you if not the biggest coward in the galaxy?”
It seemed to suck all of the fire out of her. She felt her eyes well with tears again. “All I want is honesty. True honesty. I made you promise that and you broke it. If you can’t even try to at least fix that, if you won’t try, then I will simply go back to Aiur and consider this experiment a failure.”
She didn’t bother to wait for his retort, storming down the hall and shooting him a glare.
“Goodnight.”
Then, even though she knew it was childish, she pulled herself up the stairs and let her door slam as she entered her room.
He can stew in that for a while for all I care.
She wiped the tears from her eyes, changing into her sleeping robes and beginning to tinker at her desk, a scowl set firmly into her face.
Alarak watched her immediately storm up to her room, the slam of the door leaving him in a horrible, guilty silence.
He frowned deeply, rubbing his temple with his only hand and sighing. There wasn’t even a retort that he could have given, and the word ‘coward’ rattled around in his skull as he stood in the dimly lit hallway.
She is right.
The thought sagged his shoulders. It had been easier to just take it, to let her spite him as a punishment for what he had done; she was right. He was taking the easy way out in the same way as he had when he gave her back her clasp. As though he needed to admit he had broken his promise when he could instead paint it over with an excuse. As though he needed to explain himself when he could instead allow her to take her anger out on him again and again until she felt him worthy of forgiveness.
Trudging into the living room, he sat heavily down on one of the chairs, picking idly through the work he had been left to do earlier in the day. Not that he was really reading any of what was on the pages.
He wanted her forgiveness. If anything could give him a reason to keep floating through this strange new life he had forced on himself, it would be that. It was difficult to admit how much he had missed her while he had been there alone for weeks, wondering if perhaps she had decided against following him.
That would have been deserved as well.
Unexpectedly, tears welled in his eyes, and he slammed his fist against the table, upsetting the inkwell just enough to have some of the ink splatter against the glass surface.
Muttering every curse he could think of, he wiped his eyes and then used his useless sleeve to wipe up the ink as it attempted to run off the table and onto the floor.
“Fine. Because it is you, I will try.”
It was no use saying it out loud to an empty room, but it strengthened his resolve regardless.