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Quinlan paced around the alleyway.
"Why hasn't he gotten back in contact yet?" He hissed.
"Peace, Quin," Kit placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "He still has time."
"How do you do this?"
"What do you mean?"
"How can you and Obi stand it when I'm the one on a mission and you're waiting for me to check in and I'm taking so long for reasonable reasons but you don't know that and-"
Kit pulled him into a hug. "Breathe. We have a job to do. Obi is counting on us to be ready to help him when he needs us. Waiting is a hard job. But you and I both know he was the better choice for this one."
Quinlan sighed. "I know. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Both jumped when they heard the comm crackled to life.
"I found the lab, but I have to turn my comm off and go silent. Should not take me more than an hour."
Quinlan tensed.
Kit sighed. "Remember the codes?"
"Of course. One hour. Ten minutes past, assume I need extraction."
"Understood."
The comm went silent.
Kit sighed and sat down, leaning on the wall to wait.
Quinlan resumed pacing. "Radio silence. Great, now we're stuck in an alleyway for an hour in radio silence because he found a lab and... I never considered how stressed it made you. You never let on." He sighed and joined Kit, sitting and leaning on the wall.
"Because we know and trust you to make the best decisions in these missions. We don't end up helping you often, and we know you usually make it out fine. That means we have to trust that you know what you are doing, and that you're following proper procedures. That's all we can do. Follow our own procedures. If you get it wrong... that's not on us. We don't want to fail because we assumed and didn't follow procedure. It is hard, though."
Quinlan nodded, leaning on him. "Also, why an alleyway?"
"Sometimes alleyways are the best places to go unnoticed. Dress the right way, set things up so they don't realize there's fancy equipment and we look like we're a couple of punks looking to be cool, or homeless people squatting here... or any other group that could conceivably hang out in an alleyway without gaining suspicion."
"That's... huh. I never realized..." Quinlan sighed. "I've always been so focused on my mission, I never considered what work you have to put in... you're not even shadows."
"No, but you deserve to have people you trust most waiting for you on the tricky missions. You deserve a fair chance when you've had some issues with mission partners in the past."
Quinlan nodded, sighing. "Still difficult."
"Oh, no doubt," Kit agreed. "I still struggle with it at times. And it's hard with Obi. He always seems to come out worst in situations, no matter what we do or who else is involved. But that doesn't mean he's not doing his job to the best of his ability. All we can do is wait and be prepared to cause chaos to help him get out."
"Causing chaos is good," Quinlan agreed. "One hour to wait. Then ten minutes grace to be absolutely sure. Only then can we act. Okay. We can do this."
"We can."
"So what's the best way to describe the missions where I have to be radio silent most of the time, particularly the ones that keep going wrong and never get back on track?"
"Hmm... It's like... I pace around for hours, on empty and I jump at the slightest of sounds because I'm worrying so much. Those ones are the worst."
"On empty?" Quinlan asked, puzzled.
"Why do you think Obi and I packed plenty of snacks? If this goes on long enough, we need to eat, and sometimes, when things are taking a particularly long time, even these snacks are not enough."
"...Oh... I never considered that either. I really should know this part of the job though."
Kit shrugged. "If it wasn't a necessary part of your training as a shadow, why would you know it?"
"I know... but I think knowing this helps. I'm going to change my approach on a few things, probably. And it certainly explains some of the more uptight and strict ones, why they get irritated when I'm even a second late."
Kit nodded. "They can't do anything but wait and hope. Believe in you and the Force. Of course they're going to struggle when you're not perfect. But we know you, so we give you grace and breathing space."
"Which is appreciated, but doesn't help your worries, does it?"
"No, it doesn't, but we are Jedi. We will always put our emotions to the side in order to do the right thing, in cases like that, that means making sure the mission is a success so that we can properly help people."
"Right." Quinlan smiled. "I don't think I could ever do this again, not with you, not with Obi. I don't know if I could do it at all. Having others' lives in my hands but reliant on so many factors, and having to wait according to procedures.... I don't think I could do that. Of course my job has its own problems but I know how to handle those."
Kit nodded. “That's why we make a good team and why they keep pairing us together for these sorts of missions instead of another shadow with you. Though I'm still a bit confused as to why Obi was better for this one than you."
Quinlan snorted. "The plan to get in relied a lot on flirting and sleight of hand, both of which Obi-Wan is better at than me. I can do it, and usually don't get caught, but it's better for bars and clubs, not a research lab, even if it's for some evil organization."
"...too much fiction?"
"...hey I gotta get my entertainment on the long ones somewhere. You know how I get with silence and being alone."
Kit nodded and checked on the time. He pulled out some fruit and handed one to Quinlan.
"I'm not really hungry..."
"Still should eat. You know being hungry makes it harder to make reasonable decisions."
"...I hate it when you make actual reasonable points."
Kit chuckled. "You and Obi both like wallowing too much."
"Yeah, well, it does help with the processing which means it helps with the letting go. If we don't wallow at least a little it gets to be a bit more like we're suppressing the emotion and not letting it exist. You don't need that."
"Which is good, because it means one of us can be logical in the moment, and you two can help me when I'm ready to break down. Perfect team."
Quinlan grinned. "You're right! Perfect team. I'm sure this is going to go just fine."
The Force did not agree.
Kit forced himself to swallow the last bite of his fruit. Well. That boded well.
Quinlan sighed. Well, he was now even more impressed with how Kit and Obi-Wan handled his long, but necessary radio silences. They never stopped handling things professionally.
He was never going to tease them for being so relieved and hugging him so tightly at the end of a mission again. He understood now where that relief came from. Quinlan would have to find a better approach for some things to ease the burden, if he could.
The strangest thing though was that he had far worse mission partners in people far more trained in procedures and how to avoid letting feelings get in the way than his own boyfriends.
But then, the mission partners he had the most trouble with tended to dislike him. That was probably the missing key. They didn't trust him to be competent, and so they didn't listen to him or follow procedure, and often turned things into disaster. Sometimes for themselves more than Quinlan. That was always fun. Quinlan always came out looking better than they did for a reason.
Almost an hour into the wait, longer than Quinlan would have liked, but still within the limit, the comm crackled to life.
Obi-Wan was panting, panicking about something. "They know! Get-" there was a gasp and a sound of a thud. "Can you hear me get ou-"
Kit was already packing up, cursing.
Quinlan jumped up and joined him after a moment of shock.
Now was the time for them to interfere.
Only... They were in an alleyway with no real exits. This was one that was hard to even find a place to jump, for a Jedi.
And when they turned to leave the alleyway... it was blocked.
Quinlan cursed, looking around.
Kit was further down the alleyway, trying to see if he could get to the stairs up one building.
The door behind Quinlan on the other building that formed the alleyway burst open and Quinlan spun to meet whoever it was.
The building exploded.
The building that Obi-Wan was in.
Quinlan's ears were ringing.
Kit was shaking his head dazedly.
Quinlan sat down, staring at the burning building. He looked down at his shaking hands, and realized that there was blood on him. It wasn't all his.
The person that had just left the building was dead right next to him. Huh.
Kit regained some of his bearings and spotted Quinlan. He crouched down in front of Quinlan. "Can you hear me?"
Quinlan narrowed his eyes, carefully trying to make out each word, then shook his head. No, he could not actually hear Kit, which was a bad sign.
He must have been too close to the building.
Great.
Kit offered a hand up, but then fell over.
Quinlan gasped and looked up in time to see the stun bolt heading his way.
.
Quinlan woke up slowly. All was quiet. Too quiet, aside from a ringing in his ears. Oh. Right. Explosion. Too close. Ow.
He opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a bare room with Obi-Wan and Kit.
They were talking quietly.
Obi-Wan jumped up as soon as he saw Quinlan, exclaiming something that Quinlan could not hear.
Okay, definitely some serious damage then. Wonderful, just what Quinlan needed.
Obi-Wan looked a bit burnt and roughed up, but surprisingly okay for having been in the building.
"I can't hear you," Quinlan said, shaking his head as Obi-Wan continued talking.
Obi-Wan paused, deflating a little. He switched to sign.
Quinlan let out a sigh of relief and started answering the questions aloud. Sign was always convenient in situations like this.
Obi-Wan nodded.
Then Obi-Wan signed what happened.
He'd been about to comm them that he was done and on his way out when he overheard them talking about the Jedi in the alleyway and how best to take care of them.
Naturally, that was when they caught him and led to him making that comm to warn them to get out.
But the explosion caught everyone by surprise. Some lab experiment gone wrong had exploded more than usual.
Obi-Wan had gotten caught up in the fire, like his captors, but they had all made it out.
Quinlan had ended up being closest to the epicenter between the three of them, so of course he lost hearing.
Now they just had to find a way out.
Quinlan didn't feel that great and laid back down while Kit and Obi-Wan resumed discussing the situation.
He never heard their frantic cries as he passed out.
.
Kit cursed. "We have to get him out of here... the longer we wait, the more at risk he is."
"I know, I know..." Obi-Wan groaned, looking around for any ideas. But he was seeing nothing. "How did we miss how bad his injuries are?"
"We were frazzled and mostly were looking for wounds that would kill him immediately."
Obi-Wan sighed and put his head in his hands. "All because I had to be the one to do this mission. I bet he wouldn't have been caught."
Kit gave Obi-Wan a look. "Just how many times has Quin been caught with and without us as back up? Being good at the job is no guarantee."
"I know... I just... I feel guilty he got hurt. If I'd been faster if-"
"How many times do we tell Quin not to dwell on what ifs? Do I need to break out that lecture for you?"
"...please don't." Obi-Wan sighed, looking down at Quinlan. He brushed some hair to the side and smiled slightly.
"Then let's figure out how to get out with the intel we came here for and get him to help quickly."
"Right..." Obi-Wan started looking around, breathing slowly to calm down and reaching for the Force for reassurance.
They put together a careful plan.
.
After managing to escape and get themselves back to the Temple, they went right to the Healing Halls.
At some point they managed to give their reports, but now that they were safe and the mission was done they were more concerned with Quinlan.
He required a few surgeries, but they were going to let his ear drums heal on their own at first, then see if there seemed to be lingering problems. If there were lingering problems, a plan for healing would be created.
They waited.
Quinlan stirred and woke up a day after they had made it back. He blinked, confused. He didn't respond to anything.
Heart sinking, Obi-Wan asked him, "Can you hear me?"
No reaction.
Kit got his attention. He repeated the question.
Quinlan's face crumpled when he realized he still couldn't hear.
Obi-Wan hit the button for the healer while Kit wrapped his arms around Quinlan to comfort him.
Bant was quick, running scans multiple times to be sure she was missing nothing.
"His eardrums are not healing as they should. We can do a surgery to fix that, and some additional bacta, but we're not going to know until they're full healed if there's permanent hearing loss."
Kit quietly communicated that to Quinlan in sign.
Quinlan buried his head against Kit's chest. "I can't hear you, any of you," he whispered. "Just a ringing and nothing else. Nothing."
Bant hummed. "The fact that you can still hear ringing is a good sign that you will not be totally deaf, Quin." This time she signed as she spoke after making sure Quinlan was looking at her again.
"I-I guess that's good... but right now I can't hear you at all. I don't like it."
Bant sighed in understanding and gave him a hug. She checked on his other injuries and gave further instructions before disappearing.
"You have us, no matter what," Obi-Wan said, signing as he spoke.
"We'll always love you," Kit added solemnly.
Quinlan cried some more.
.
It took two weeks for the moment of truth to arrive. He'd had the surgery, and his ears blocked by bacta.
Bant removed the bacta and checked on the healing with scans.
"Can you hear me?" she asked as she ran the scans.
"Yes!" Quinlan exclaimed, relieved to be able to hear again, then he deflated. "You sounded quieter than usual."
Bant hummed. "Looks like there might be some healing left, but there might also be some permanent healing loss. We'll wait until the healing is finished to test for certain, okay?"
"Alright." Quinlan sighed, leaning on Obi-Wan.
Bant gave him a concerned smile before leaving.
Quinlan sighed.
"The fact that you heard her is good, Quin. You can hear."
"I know... I just... hearing is difficult to compensate for. You never really know how much you rely on it until it's gone."
"That's true."
"Why are you still here?"
"Because we love you," Kit sighed in exasperation. "And we want to make sure you're okay."
"What about your padawans?"
"Oh, Anakin and Nahdar are on a relief/search and rescue mission with Mace and Plo, it's supposed to last at least a month, so it will be a while before they're back."
"Oh!" Quinlan smiled. "So they're starting to prepare for their trials."
"Not sure they realized it yet," Kit said with amusement. "Both of them can be a bit dense."
"True." Obi-Wan agreed. "But let's not focus on them. We want to focus on you."
"What about your injuries?"
"Already healed," Kit reminded him.
Quinlan sighed. "Alright."
It was nice to have his boyfriends take care of him, anyway. As much as he did not like it when he got hurt, Obi-Wan and Kit refusing to leave his side when they had no obligations was always the best feeling.
Quinlan leaned on Obi-Wan and closed his eyes, listening to Kit read a book. He could hear again. Somewhat.
And if it never improved, he still had Obi-Wan and Kit no matter what.