Work Text:
London, 999 A.D.
“You're a liar.”
Aziraphale tried to defend himself from five men that have surrounded him with spears, daggers and swords: "I swear, I'm an ang-"
"STOP LYING!" One of them yelled,"we already know your real identity, you filthy snake, because the archangel Michael had come to warn us all: you're the first Tempter, the demon Crowley.*
"Oh, I can assure you this is a simple case of mistaken identity. See, I was in the Garden too but I…"
Another man stepped closer: "Demon Crowley, we won't allow you to corrupt another young girl with your occult art-"
"Reading is not something occult. And the demon Crowley hasn't harmed any young kids in his existence…"
A spear was raised and it was stopped a mere inch from the angel's chest: from that close, Aziraphale could clearly feel a huge amount of holiness radiating from the weapon (and he suspected the same was for the other blades).
That holy power wouldn't harm angels. Against demons, however, it would be very different: if they were lucky it would hurt like Hell (well, heaven in this case), if they weren't they would be discorporated or exorcised (or even worse, with holy water involved).
Since a certain demon was in that exact same village, probably a few yards of distance from where he was standing, Aziraphale couldn't let those humans see the truth and let them after Crowley (especially since he had always been a real poppet with kids).
With an extreme dramatic flair, the angel lied: "oh, alas me, you've revealed my real identity! I'll humbly accept whatever punishment you've in store for me."
The humans seemed hesitant about what they were going to do, until one of them tied Aziraphale's hands together with a blessed cord and led him into a basement while everyone else followed.
The men made the angel kneel on the stone floor.
They removed his cloak and lifted his tunic over his head until it crumpled over the tied hands, leaving his torso naked.
Each one of them grabbed a bundle of holy herbs, twigs and brambles, and one by one they lashed the exposed back.
Aziraphale started screaming like he was being flayed alive but it was mostly for show. He also shrieked with his highest pitch every time they poked or slashed him with any of the holy weapons.
After a couple of hours, the angelic voice was completely gone and only rasp sounds came out from his lips. The angel thought it was probably the best because in this way he wouldn't spill the truth now that he was almost at his limit.
But then the cellar door slammed open and, with all his fury, a dark figure stormed in with his booming voice: "WhAt aRe YOU DOInG IN HERe?
The five men were terrified by Crowley's furious entrance and they sought refuge in a corner.
Seeing that the humans still had their holy weapons in their hands and they were pointing them towards the demon, the desperate angel gathered his remaining voice and rasped out: "Oh Principality Aziraphale, please, be a merciful angel and take m…ahhh…"
The angel's voice was completely gone but it was enough for the demon to understand the situation.
"You've done your part, humans, and you'll be rewarded for that," Crowley said with veiled fury. Then, while looking at his angel, he added in a softer tone: "I'll take care of him from now on".
The men, after bowing and kneeling in front of the demon, went outside, almost running away from that place (none of them could say why but they had the feeling they were going to be struck by lightning if they stopped a second too much).
Immediately, Crowley was at the angel's side, released his arms from the heavenly bond with a snap and started healing the wounds.
Aziraphale cleared his voice with a miracle (or two): "The-… there is no need to help, I can still…"
The angel stopped when he saw the demon's pleading eyes. He was probably feeling guilty and he really wanted to take care of him.
"But a little hand won't go amiss, I suppose," Aziraphale said with a big smile.
The demon healed every wound, slash, prick and sting.
In the meanwhile, the angel miracles those holy weapons into a secret place where he was the only one who could access there.
"It's better if we both get the heaven out of here," Crowley whispered while helping the angel with his clothes. "A horse is waiting for you: I'll follow by foot to the next village."
Aziraphale smiled fondly: "I'm sure I can convince the horse to let us ride safely together at the same time. I promise".
The demon was easily convinced by that smile (and the fact he had seen him work with animals.
After they were able to mount onto the horse, they rode together happily, having a nat and joking the whole time, despite what had just happened (or maybe due to that).