Work Text:
Minju doesn't know why she's doing this. Doesn't even want to think of the implications behind why there is a half-asleep Jihyun in the passenger seat of her car. Finding Jihyun drunk outside of a club, face flushed and reeking of alcohol hadn't exactly been the reunion she was expecting, but she'd take it.
Traffic is unusually bad for it being near midnight, and Minju lets out an impatient sigh as the cars inch along every couple of minutes. She'd typed in the location of Jihyun's apartment into the GPS – or at least, it should be her apartment. She doesn't think Jihyun moved in the past couple of years.
The map on the screen, accompanied with a blue dot and line marking their route, says the drive would be 42 minutes. Minju doesn't remember Jihyun living so far away.
The silence was killing her, she's not sure if she could stand another 40 minutes of this. If it'd been up to her, she could get by with some music, songs from her unnecessarily long playlist or the radio, it didn't matter to her. But it wasn't up to her. Minju cared a bit too much about the sleeping girl beside her to fulfill her own personal needs, irrelevant in comparison.
She thinks it's funny, how time changes people, and how it doesn't at the same time. It's been years, and Minju would like to think that she's grown as a person. Being an idol does that to you. So why does she still feel like that 19 year-old girl, thrown in front of flashing cameras and broadcasted on television, chasing her dreams? More specifically, why did Jihyun make her feel that way?
Like everything she'd built with her life until now was a mistake, solely because Jihyun hadn't been by her side. She resented herself for feeling that way, because how was that even fair, hinging her entire self-worth on one person?
Minju taps her fingers to a nonexistent beat on the steering wheel, a much needed distraction from her thoughts. The light turns green and cars start moving again, so Minju does too, releasing her hold on the brake and pressing down on the gas.
She'd been the first out of her members to get their license, and it was a nice change, driving herself to and from places instead of getting stuffed into the backseat of the company van. Then again, it'd also meant she'd had to make a lot of impromptu 3 a.m. convenience store runs for her members. Apparently, having your driver's license also meant driving home the girl you liked when you were both on a survival show years ago.
They were younger, then. Naive girls who knew nothing but themselves and their interlocked arms when they walked to the practice rooms.
When she stops at another red light, Minju makes the mistake of glancing over at Jihyun, the light casting shadows across her face, head resting against the plexiglass window, looking peaceful. It reminded her of late nights spent at each other's dorms, sleeping in each other's beds like it were their own. It'd gotten to the point her roommate wouldn't even question when Jihyun would sit down and eat breakfast with them in the morning.
A car honking behind her snaps her attention back to the front, where she notices the light had turned green, prompting her to slam her foot down on the gas. Speeding down the road, she hardly even considers whether or not she's within the speed limit. She just knew that she needed to get away, away from incessant honking, angry truck drivers and what used to be.
Minju didn't think a lot about back then. She'd barely had time to after R U Next was over, because they were immediately rushed into practice rooms, practicing day in and day out for their debut. And then after that, it's like she'd been putting it off. It was something she was been meaning to address, if not to Jihyun then at the very least to herself. But it was never the right time to do so. Maybe that's just what she'd been telling herself throughout the years, because she knew that addressing whatever mess was going on in her heart would hurt.
Not that Jihyun's abrupt departure from her life didn't hurt enough, because it did. When her texts suddenly stopped and calls went unanswered. Minju swore she disappeared from the face of the planet, only for her to turn up at the curbside of some dingy club.
Minju could've sworn that those feelings had faded completely, that she just needed time and Jihyun leaving was actually doing her a favour. But now that Jihyun was sitting mere inches away, Minju realizes that after all these years, she'd been doing nothing but put it off . Why did she keep putting it off? She wishes she hadn't, because she hadn't moved on at all, her heart beating at an intensity it hasn't for years.
Memories are resurfacing against her will, of when they'd talk to each other about nothing and everything until the early hours of the morning, hide chocolate from one another because they'd know that the other would steal it, walk along the Han River, sharing a ramyeon on their day off.
The GPS' bright voice startles her from her reverie- "You've arrived at your destination!"
The apartment complex she pulled into is nice, modern looking, something that Minju might've talked about buying with Jihyun when they were younger and didn't know better. She parks her car along the drop off lane, getting out and walking to the other side to open the door for Jihyun.
When Minju opens the door, Jihyun is still asleep, head lolling onto her shoulder. Minju has to force down her smile at the sight, the slightest upturn along the corners of her lips.
"Jihyun.." she says, her voice sounds unused, then again she hadn't spoken at all in the last 40 minutes. Poking the girl's shoulder, she tries again. "Jihyun."
Jihyun makes a noise and looks like she's about to wake, before she drops back down. The quiet snores that follow after inform Minju that she has fallen back asleep. Amazing.
"Jihyun, c'mon." she tries again, this time grabbing her arm and pulling it out the car. Minju doesn't take her hand on purpose, instead holding her by the wrist.
Jihyun's body seems to completely reject the idea, apparently, because in a sudden bout of strength, her wrist is wrenched out of Minju's grip and she curls up in the seat. Minju groans, running a hand through her hair.
She felt a couple raindrops on her face, realizes that it's about to rain soon. Jihyun had always hated being outside while it was raining.
"Jihyun!"
Jihyun finally rouses from that, jumping slightly at the noise, eyes shooting open and looking around in a panic.
She freezes, holy shit, Jihyun was awake. What would she say, facing Minju again after so many years? Dealing with an unconscious Jihyun was fine, but she was completely unprepared for a conscious one. Was she even still drunk?
Jihyun's eyes land on Minju's, and they relax, then widen again in recognition. "Minju? What- where- why are you here?"
For some reason, her voice makes Minju feel giddy, it's the first time she's heard it in so long. It sounds the exact same, yet it sounds so different. It just sounded like Jihyun. Minju wants to hear it for the rest of her life.
"Uh- er, well. Y'know, I saw you outside the club– um, I think it was… actually I'm not sure what it was called, but it was a club. And you were kinda–, out of it? So I drove you.. home." Minju's not sure Jihyun could understand that mess of a sentence, but if she couldn't, she didn't let it show in her face because she nods in understanding.
"Ah, right. Yeah, I guess I drank too much. Sorry about that."
"Oh, it's no problem." Minju says it too fast and, paired with her normally neutral voice, prompts a look from Jihyun which she returns with a sheepish smile.
Jihyun gets out after a period of silence, movements deliberate and quick. Minju watches as she glances up at the sky, realizing that it was raining and her brows furrow slightly.
"Thanks, Minju. It's– er, nice to see you again?" Jihyun shoots her a smile. Her hair was different, no longer sporting the bang and hime cut, instead styled like a wolf cut and dyed a colour she couldn't make out in the dark.
"Yeah. Jihyun." She doesn't know why she says her name. It was completely unnecessary and added nothing to her response, but she felt like saying it. Jihyun smiles, and then she's walking away. She was leaving, again.
"Jihyun-"
"Oh."
"Ah, sorry, uh- you can go first."
"I don't live here anymore."
Jihyun's looking at her with an apologetic smile. Minju swallows a lump in her throat, her heart dropping as though it were a weight sinking in a pool. Why didn’t you tell me you moved? There’s a long pause, before she speaks. "Oh. You don't?"
"Um, yeah. Sorry, I moved out like, two-three years ago?"
"That's my bad, I guess."
"Oh, not at all! I..I don't see how you would've known. Sorry for making you drive all the way out here." A pause. "You should get going, I can call a cab."
Minju wants to tell her no, that she didn't mind driving an extra 30 minutes or even an hour if it meant spending time with her. Jihyun is waving goodbye, but she can't find it in her to wave back. You're not even going to ask to catch up?
Jihyun's walking away again, away from where Minju's car was parked, door still open. Why was she always walking away?
Minju suddenly remembers why she kept putting it off, why she didn't want to unveil the part of her life that had belonged to Jihyun. When Minju would take her hand and pull her towards the laundry room where there weren't any cameras.
The adrenaline that followed shortly after and the lingering feel of Jihyun's lips on hers were her own, personalized good luck charm before each performance. Holding hands under the tables, the looks shared by the other trainees because it was so obvious, even if they tried to keep it on the down low.
Minju wishes she would've dealt with the emotional turmoil earlier, perhaps it would've made Jihyun's retreating figure a little less painful.
She doesn't even notice when the rain gets heavier, beating down, soaking her from head to toe. She couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain.
Jihyun's gone now, out of view. Had she always been such a fast walker?
Stolen kisses when no one was looking, lingering touches, old polaroids that Minju still keeps that came in two. Was it only Minju who was caught up in the past? Stuck in a web of what could've been, drowning in her own feelings because she'd let it bottle up inside her until it burst.
How was it so easy for Jihyun? Why was it her that was allowed to walk out of her life and move on and Minju who was stuck, longing for someone who no longer felt the same way?
A notification from her phone brings her attention back to the present. Bringing the device out of her pocket, she ignores the splatters of rain drops on the screen as she turns it on.
Yunah 1:08 a.m.
Minjuuuuuu, can u pick me up?
srryy :( ik its late but life360 says ur not at the dorms so..