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Kyouka hummed against her lips, practically holding her breath just so she could keep kissing her a little bit longer.
Momo's lips were always addictingly sweet because of all the different sparkly lip glosses she used. Kyouka was embarrassingly fond of them.
Their kiss broke, the neccesity for air ultimately unavoidable, and before Kyouka could come back for more, Momo started kissing down her throat, effectively killing any working braincells Kyouka still had.
God, Momo was unfairly good at everything, even making out.
Kyouka felt her teeths scrapping her skin and her breath hitched. Her heart was going to beat out of her chest. 'No marks.'
'I know what I'm doing.' Momo hummed as she licked where she had bitten.
Kyouka shivered. Was it normal that Momo's cold and all-bussiness voice excited her so much? She should get that checked, it definitely wasn't normal.
'Do you want to keep going?' Momo asked as her hand hovered over her trousers.
Kyouka nodded eagerly, she didn't think she would ever deny her.
However, before she even popped the button, someone knocked on her door. Instinctively, Kyouka jumped away from Momo, but she miscalculated the distance and went straight onto the floor.
'What do you want?' she groaned from the floor.
The door opened slowly, showing a very amused and confused Kaminari. 'Video game tournament in Kirishima's room...? What were you two doing?'
'Homework.' Kyouka pointed at the long discarted books around the bed and floor as she flatten her hair.
'We can continue later. You go to the video game tournament.' Momo smiled kindly as she took the hair tie from her wrist and tied her hair back up.
Kyouka tried not to look at the sliver of stomach that showed once she lifted her arms. Kaminari didn't pay her the same courtesy.
'Yaomomo! You're totally invited too!' Kyouka hated how widely Kaminari smiled at her.
'Thanks, Kaminari-kun, but video games are not my cup of tea. Maybe some other time?' Kyouka hated more Momo's sincere smile.
'Yeah, yeah, sure, next time.' He nodded too eagerly and Kyouka resisted the impulse to elbow him.
Momo took her books and with one last look she dissapeared.
'Man, Kyo, you lucky dog. I wanna have private study sessions with Yaomomo too.' Kaminari whined.
'Keep dreaming, dude.' Kyouka huffed a laugh.
'I knooooooow.' He kept whining. 'It's just so unfair that she's that hot, it should be illegal. You girls are so lucky.'
Kyouka stiffened as she put away her books. 'Us girls? What do you mean by that?'
Kaminari blinked owlishly. 'Well, that she only likes girls, so you're the only ones that might have a tiny itty bitty chance with her.'
Kaminari looked at her funny. 'Wait, you didn't know she was a lesbian?'
Kyouka felt her cheeks burning. 'Of course I did!'
'Yeah, yeah.' Kaminari had his annoying shit eating grin on. 'Sure you did.'
'Oh, shut up!'
'C'mon already! I wanna crush you lot at Smash!'
Kyouka huffed but left her books where they were and followed Kaminari to Kirishima's room.
Distractedly, she scratched the point on her neck where Momo's lips had been moments ago.
People knew she was a lesbian. Kyouka didn't know that was public information. She scratched herself again.
Was it also public information how much time they spent in her room alone?
Had they noticed? Did people also talk about that?
Kyouka gulped, feeling the skin move under her fingertips.
From now on she would always keep her door open.
God, now she needed to talk with Momo. She needed a new game plan.
Momo was talking with Mina in the kitchen when Kyouka finally found her the next day.
Any other day, Kyouka would have passed by without giving the interaction a single thought.
That day, however, Kyouka felt her stomach twist into knots.
Because Mina knew Momo was a lesbian and she was smiling at her with ease, touching her arm like it was no big deal.
For Mina, it probably wasn't.
Kyouka had always envied her friend's ability of talking and flirting without problem.
Was that what Mina was doing? Was she flirting with Momo? To the class' knowledge, Momo was single and into girls so a bit of flirting was harmless.
Kyouka saw how Mina leaned her head on Momo's shoulder as she showed her something on her phone.
Kyouka wanted to puke.
Never before had she envied more Mina and her easiness around people than she did in that moment.
Kyouka hated it. She loved Mina, she was one of her best friends. She didn't want to...
'Jack! Come look at this!' Mina had looked up from her phone and smiled at her.
Kyouka tried to return the smile as she approached them. Momo was smiling at her too, always calm and kind.
Kyouka felt guilty.
'I was actually looking for you.' Kyouka felt her voice small and scared.
'Is that so?' Momo asked, worry written all over her face.
'Yeah, I wanted to ask you something.' Kyouka looked at Mina pointedly.
Thankfully, Mina got it, smiling like a maniac. 'I'll leave you two alone, then. Later, Yaomomo.' She threw Kyouka an excited thumbs up as she exited the room.
What was that about? Kyouka would have to worry about it some other time.
'Shall we go for a walk?'
Kyouka nodded gratefully at Momo. She always manged to know exactly what Kyouka wanted, she didn't know how she managed.
Momo was that impossibly perfect.
'What do you wanted to talk about?'
Their fingers brushed as they walked and, instinctively, Kyouka put some space between them.
'Are you out to the class?'
Momo blinked owlishly at her, worry melting from her face and amusement taking it's place.
Kyouka wanted to smile too, happiness looked so much better on Momo.
'That's what you wanted to talk about? I thought something bad had happened with how serious you were!' Her relieved laugh sounded like starlight to Kyouka. 'Well, yes, you could say I'm out to the class. I just never hid it.'
Kyouka nodded to herself. 'And you haven't told anyone about...? About me?'
'Oh no! Kyouka, I would never do that unless you gave me permission!'
Kyouka felt the knot in her stomach losened. Good, that was good. 'Okay.'
'There's no rush, Kyouka. You can take all the time you need until you're ready.'
Kyouka felt her whole stomach twisting itself further.
Kyouka thought she had made things clear the first time but, apparently, Momo hadn't understood it.
'Momo, I don't want to come out. Like ever.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean what I said, I don't want to come out.'
Momo pursed her lips, thinking face in place. 'Is it not safe to do it while depending on your parents?'
'What? That doesn't have to do with anything! I don't want to because I don't want to!'
Jirou wanted to be done with this conversation already, she wanted for Momo not to look so lost and for them to resume their earlier interrupted kissing.
'I don't understand. I really don't Kyouka.'
How could she not understand? Had not Momo been under a microscope her entire life too? Had she not been always expected to be perfect?
Could she not see that Kyouka didn't want those same scrutinizing eyes on her, because of her choice of partner?
'I don't care if you don't understand.' Kyouka felt her voice sharp with urgency. 'It's my decision and I just need you to respect it.'
Momo took a step back as if she had cut herself with her words and didn't want to risk it anymore.
'Of course it's your decision, Kyouka, but I... I want to... I deserve to know what that means for us.'
Kyouka felt the blood of her veins freezing. 'Now, what do you mean with that?'
'I'm already out, Kyouka. I don't want to go back in the closet or have to hide who I like.'
Kyouka tasted vile. 'You saying you want to break up if I don't come out?'
Momo sighed, hurt evident in her eyes. 'I'm saying that I don't mind keeping us a secret while you figure yourself out but that I don't want this to be my whole life. I want to be able to kiss you outside of our rooms.'
Momo was being so greedy. She had already taken so much of Kyouka, her trust, her first kiss, her heart, and she still wanted more, she still demanded more from her.
Kyouka felt short of air, her breathing becoming shallower with anxiety, because the most terrifying thing wasn't Momo's greediness but the buzzing eagerness under Kyouka's skin that was desperate to just give her everything she asked for.
Kyouka would do anything to make Momo smile and that almost scared her as much as being under the microscope.
Panic had Kyouka's neck in a vice-grip. 'Why does that matter? Why do you need to do all that corny stuff? We already study together and go to the cinema and to dinner and so much more, why isn't that enough for you?'
Momo's smile contrasted with her watery eyes. 'Because I want to do what everyone else gets to do. I want to talk with Shouto about what present to get you for your birthday and I want the girls to help me get ready for one of our dates. I want that too.'
Momo was quick to push away the first tears but soon enough they were overflowing.
It was unfair how even crying her eyes out she was the most beautiful girl Kyouka had ever seen. It broke Kyouka's heart that she was the reason for those tears.
'I... I think you should take some time to think this over.' Momo sniffed like a kitten. 'I think I need it too.'
Kyouka wished they weren't outside so she could approach Momo and kiss her tears away. But that was the whole problem, wasn,t it? That she couldn't do that.
'Whatever you want, Momo.'
Momo hiccuped as she nodded. 'I like you so so much, Kyouka.'
Kyouka looked over her shoulder before responding which made Momo laugh through her tears. 'You may not believe me right now, but I like you so so much too.'
'Yeah, I know, I know.' That seemed to make her even sadder.
Kyouka hated herself for making Momo, her perfect kind and happy Momo, sad.
Kyouka hated herself for not stopping her when she turned around and went back to the dorms.
Kyouka hated herself for ruining one of the best things in her life.
Kyouka hated herself for feeling her eyes watering now that it was too late.
Kyouka hated herself.
-------------------------------------------
'Ok, that's it, out with it, what's been wrong with you lately?'
Kyouka looked at Kaminari with an arched eyebrow. 'What are you talking about?'
'Don't do that, Jack. You've been super gloomy for forever and I know for a fact you've been avoiding Yaomomo so, what's up?'
'I haven't been avoiding her.'
'That's what you're focused on?' Kaminari asked with amusement. 'So, she's the one avoiding you? What did you do?'
Kyouka felt her skin break into goosebumps. 'I didn't do a thing, Kami, give it a rest.'
'You're being an idiot, you know that, right? I'm sure that if you apologize, she'll totally forgive you. She's Yaomomo.'
Kyouka had to blink furiously to keep the tears at bay. Because Kaminari was right. If Kyouka just went and asked for forgiveness, Momo would grant it.
If she looked properly apologetic, Momo would forgive her even if it made her unhappy. That's how she was, too good for her own good.
'Wow, wow, wow! What the hell, Jirou?!'
Kyouka hadn't even noticed that she had started crying.
Kaminari was looking at her with such a freak out expression that it made Jirou laugh and that freaked out Kaminari even more.
God, he was also too good for words.
Maybe, that's why Kyouka decided to blurt it out to him, because he was good, properly good, and she knew, deep inside her, she knew he would never look at her with judgement.
'I think she broke up with me.' Kyouka felt her eyeliner melting down her cheeks. 'Not like we were oficially together or anything but, yeah.'
To Kaminari's credit, he didn't seem surprised at all with the information, he just seemed sympathetic.
'Oh, Jirou, I'm so sorry.' He went up to her and hugged her tightly, like a weighted blanket.
Kyouka just sinked into it, pressing her forehead againts his shoulder. He was very warm.
They stayed like that for some time, until Kaminari guided them to her bed so they could sit.
'Wanna talk about it?'
Kyouka sniffed. 'I just really messed up, Kami.'
'I bet you I've done worst.' Kaminari's smile was reasuring.
So Kyouka told him their whole discussion now that she was calmer.
'Damn, this is messy.' Kaminari whined as he played with her hair distractedly.
'Yeah, I know.'
'And what are you gonna do, then?'
'I don't know.'
Kaminari hummed thoughtfully. 'She's not asking that you come out to the whole world today, you know? She just wants to know you will in the future. And you already did with me, anyway, and it wasn't that bad, right?'
'You weren't surprised when I told you.'
'Eh... no? I kinda thought you were pining and that you'd tell me when you were ready.'
'Of course.' Kyouka bit her lower lip. 'I'm sure everyone thought that and talked about it.'
'Hey, you know our classmates aren't like that!'
'We all make assumptions. People have been judging me because of my style and character since kindergarden. Just because of that I must be gay, right? They were already calling me that before I even knew what it was or if they were right. I don't want to prove them right. I don't want that to be the first thing everyone thinks about me.' Kyouka felt really small next to Kaminari.
Kaminari waited a couple of minutes to answer. 'I don't know what to tell you, Jirou. I get why you don't want to come out, especially as a hero, but it's sad.'
Kyouka felt like screaming. 'I know it's fucking pathetic.'
'Hey, being scared isn't pathetic, it's normal.' Kaminari flicked her forehead. 'Stop being this negative, Jack.'
'I'm trying, I really am. I just miss her.'
'You're so whipped, man.'
'Shut it.'
'You have such a cruuuuuuush.'
'Shut uuuuuuup.' Kyouka laughed.
Kyouka could get what Momo had been on about, it was nice to bicker with Kaminari like this. It was nice to be known like this.
Maybe she could think some more about it all. She knew that, at least, Kaminari would stick by her side meanwhile she made up her mind.
Even if she was crap at showing it, she really loved him.
Kyouka let Kaminari keep playing with her hair and hoped he knew.
It took Kyouka a whole week of unreasonable pep talks from Kaminari for her to finally get her shit together and talk with Momo alone.
Kyouka breathed deeply as she fiddled with one of the many silver rings she wore.
She gave herself a couple more seconds and then she knocked on her door.
Momo went to open it and Kyouka could swear her heart wanted to break out of her chest and present itself to Momo as an offering.
She was wearing a fluffy headband to keep her hair out of her face and she had pocky crumbs on her cheek. She liked to have strawberry pocky and green tea as a snack when she studied.
She was that lovely.
'Kyouka?' Momo looked around, as if she was waiting for someone else to appear. 'Is everything alright?'
'Yes!' Kyouka felt her cheeks blushing. 'I just wanted to talk. If you're ok with that.'
'Of course, come in.' She took a step aside, doubt evident in her eyes.
Kyouka paced around a bit, not sure where she was allowed to stand. 'How are you doing?'
'I'm fine.' Her forced smile contradicted her words. 'And you?'
'I'm...' Kyouka could feel her eyebags weighting her down. 'I'm kinda tired.'
'You're always welcome to take some of my camomille tea if you need to.'
Kyouka wanted to scream. It was no fair how nice Momo was with her, it made her want to kiss her silly.
'Thank you but...' Kyouka gulped, she dreaded it but she needed to be sincere once and for all. 'I think it's because my bed is too empty without you in it.'
Momo widened her eyes, opening and closing her mouth without uttering a world, like a fish out of water.
'I miss you, Momo, I really miss you. I want us to be like before.'
Momo smiled timidly at her, still hesitant but Kyouka wanted to think that also a tad hopeful. 'I miss you too, Kyouka, and I want to be together again but I can't do it if you're going to break my heart again.'
'I...' Kyouka felt her throat go dry. 'I told Kaminari.'
Momo stopped smiling suddenly and Kyouka started to panic.
'I didn't do it because of what you said so don't feel guilty or whatever. I did it because he's an idiot but he's also a pretty good friend and he saw how sad I was and he wanted to help and-'
She stopped rambling just as Momo's warm arms envolved her in a hug. Kyouka knew Momo must be feeling her wild beating heart against her chest but that didn't detter her from squeezing her harder. Kyouka wanted to cry a little bit.
'Kyouka, you can't even imagine how happy I am for you.' Momo whispered. 'I'm really glad you got each other.'
Oh, she really was the loveliest.
'Then, can I have you back too? Please?' Kyouka felt achingly fragile.
Momo chuckled. 'As if you could ever lose me, darling.'
Kyouka felt as Momo kissed her forehead and then her lips, achingly sweet and tender.
'I know we still have to talk about this some more.' Kyouka murmured sleepily. 'I know this doesn't make everything right but can we take a nap first?'
Momo giggled. 'You weren't kidding about the sleep part.'
'Nope.' Kyouka squeezed Momo between her arms some more. 'I think you cursed me so I couldn't sleep without you.'
Momo giggled again as she guided them to her bed, still attached to each other.
'I'm wicked like that.'
'Mad wicked.' Kyouka mumbled tucked against Momo's neck.
'You always mumble such nonsense when you're tired.' Momo sounded amused.
'You find it charming and endearing, don't lie.'
'Yeah, I guess I do. Seems like you cursed me too.'
'Good, now we match.'
Momo laughed and Kyouka felt how the happiness rolled all over her body. Happiness suited her so much better... Kyouka vowed to never make her anything but this delightfully happy.
Momo was far too lovely for anything less than that and Kyouka loved her with all her heart.
Right now, she was fine with only Kaminari and Momo knowing it but Kyouka found herself not totally opposed to the idea of other people, eventually, knowing it too.
After all, her love was too big just to keep in between her ribs.