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The light of the Bonfire was reflected in Mathias’ wedding ring, and he couldn’t help but stare and admire it for the simple fact that it was there.
The man at his side, smoking a cigarette and having a bottle of booze in his hand, warmed not only his side, but also his soul and the only thing which took Mathias’ attention from the ring was Flynn himself. He smiled as he leaned over and pressed a small kiss on the neck of his lover, who turned around and smirked at him.
“I knew this would be a good idea. Fire always puts you into a cuddly mood.”
Flynn’s muscular arm dropped on his shoulder and Mathias felt being pulled closer. He allowed himself the moment of proximity and rested his head on the younger man’s shoulder, staring back to the bonfire below them.
Flynn had insisted on distracting Mathias from his stress in bringing him to the bonfire tonight, but Mathias had only agreed if they could watch it not within the masses which were currently grounded and sitting around the fire. He had lead Flynn to a roof top on the wall and only if one knew they were sitting on top there, they would be able to see them. And with this, he could allow himself to intertwine his fingers with Flynn and cuddle closely.
Flynn’s fingers ran over his neck, leaving a comfortable shudder and making his muscles relax instantly.
“I know you come from here, but did you ever actually have the time to watch this?”
Flynn pressed a small kiss on Mathias’ head and Mathias felt how his own fingers tense around Flynn’s at the question.
“Once.”
There was a silence which Flynn probably noticed since he placed the bottle next to himself and wrapped Mathias in a tighter hug. Mathias let himself be held like this for a while, until he sighed out deeply and kissed his husband softly.
“That was a long time ago and I am glad you brought us here. You… teach me so many things, Flynn.”
Flynn tilted his head, then chuckled. “Ah, I remember how cute you looked when we were together the first time and you-“
Mathias quickly silenced him with another kiss. Flynn’s arms were warm and strong, and Mathias pressed his face into his husband’s neck when they parted. Flynn stopped joking around, brushing softly over his back and just held him.
That was Flynn.
He held him, in good times, in bad times, always strong and never let go of him.
“Seriously, Edwin, if my grandmother catches me-“
“Seriously, Matt, you need to relax.”
Edwin pulled him roughly towards where the fire was and when the fire reflected in Edwin’s eyes Mathias couldn’t help but admire the view. He felt a rosy blush rising in his cheek and he squeezed his hand tighter, while pulling his hood deeper in.
“This is a beautiful sight.”
Matthias didn’t follow Edwin’s gaze and instead just stared at him. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
The moment was over as fast as it came and when Edwin turned around to smile at him, he let go of his hands and Mathias felt the stone inside his chest dropping again. Edwin chuckled. “Come, I’ll buy you something to eat. My treat today.”
Mathias swallowed but held him back. Edwin returned to him with a frown. “What?”
Mathias quickly shook his head. “Seriously, Ed, I love this, and thank you so much, but if anyone recognizes me…”
Edwin’s face became sterner. “You know, I am really starting to hate your grandmother. She cannot seriously be that strict! You never once may go out!”
Actually, he was able to do whatever he wanted, if he had free time. Pathonia let him roam around wherever he wanted to do, but that was a rare chance, because he never had free time. And around every corner there could wait another lesson for him, another lecture Pathonia wanted to teach him. He didn’t really blame her.
She made him strong.
Edwin made him feel weak.
Edwin groaned and fist-bumped his shoulder. “One evening, Matt. One. Evening.”
Edwin made him feel weak, but also so very much alive and Mathias wanted to drown in this feeling.
He actually did, whenever they spent time with each other, deeper and deeper and the stone in his chest grew heavier and heavier. And when they kissed, he felt so happy, for the first time in his life, he wanted to tell Edwin everything, wanted to go with him and leave everything behind, he was ready to run away, try to hide from Pathonia which he knew, would never be possible.
But Edwin didn’t want to run away. Edwin was everything to Mathias, but Mathias was just a tiny little piece of the puzzle which was Edwin’s life.
He thought it would be enough, as long as he could stay with him. But it wasn’t, and he learned it the hard way.
Knowing what he knew about love now, Mathias knew that Edwin’s hugs always had been tight, but cold, his kisses passionate, but detached, his touches exploring, but neglecting. His words had been sweet lies, whispered into his ears, and despite the fire which had always burned within Edwin it had never managed to warm Mathias, it had just burned him.
“Do you want to go back?”
Flynn’s kisses were honest, genuine and warm. He was home, that home he had always looked for and never had and Mathias loved him so, so much.
He swallowed and shook his head, brushing over Flynn’s face tenderly who just looked at him, patiently, giving him as much time as he needed, but he always managed to drag him out of his hole. Sometimes with kisses, sometimes with words, sometimes just with his presence.
“No. This is perfect. You are perfect.”
Flynn chuckled. “Finally, someone recognises my worth.”
Another time, Mathias leaned forward to kiss him, long and softly, hands hiding in Flynn’s hair. He swallowed and breathed in the smell of gunpowder and cigarettes and Flynn.
“Everyone who doesn’t, is an idiot. But I am glad they are.” He kissed Flynn’s neck gently. “Because with that, you are mine now.”
Their rings clanged together as they intertwined their fingers again.
“Yes. I am yours now.”