Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung switched over from her electric guitar to her acoustic as someone quickly brought out a stool. The lights dimmed, with a spotlight on her as she arranged herself on the stool and quickly checked the tuning.

"This isn't my first guitar; my parents got me one as a child, when I first started taking lessons. But this is the first one I saved up for and bought myself. And then, unfortunately, I let it sit for a while and collect dust!" A quiet laugh rippled through the audience. "But later I wrote this song about it; about buying this guitar."

She gently strummed a few simple chords as she sang. She wasn't truly much of a guitarist, but she didn't think she'd know what to do with her hands without one, either.

As the song ended, she let the last chord linger, then said, "Well, thank you, Minneapolis! You've been fantastic. Please give a round of applause to Jason on the keyboard and Julia on bass." The audience dutifully applauded. "We've got CDs and t-shirts and even some stickers in the back if you're interested, and I look forward to coming back again soon!" A smattering of applause, hoots, and hollers greeted her as she put the guitar back in its stand and stepped down from the stage to greet people in the bar. It wasn't the tiniest venue she'd ever played, but it was plenty intimate enough for her to be able to interact with people comfortably. She wondered whether any of them were actual fans, or just locals looking for a night out.

"Thank you so much for coming!" she repeated, over and over, as people complimented her songs and voice. She made her way to the merch table, where she smiled and nodded and signed CDs. In fact, the CDs were flying off the table, which was great. She didn't make much from performing (after expenses); most of the money came from merch.

The CDs were gone when two young women approached the table, shyly asking for CDs. Both were Asian, with long, dark hair, slender, and a little taller than Chaeyoung (which wasn't saying much). One of them surprised Chaeyoung by directing a sweet smile at her. So pretty, Chaeyoung thought.

"I'm so sorry," said Chaeyoung's manager, Nayeon. "We just ran out. But you can still find the album on Spotify!"

"Or you could give us your contact information," Chaeyoung interjected. Nayeon raised her eyebrows. "And we can send you CDs. I'll be happy to sign them for you still."

"That would be lovely," said the pretty, smiling girl, as her companion raised her eyebrows. Interesting.

The pretty one (well, they were both pretty, but anyway) turned out to be Mina Myoui, and her friend was Momo Hirai. "You're not Korean, then," Chaeyoung said. "Japanese?"

"Well done," Momo said. "We're both American-born, though."

Chaeyoung nodded. "I'm from Oregon." She glanced at Mina and screwed up her courage. "Would you two like to have a drink with me? I need to help pack up first, but I think the place will be open for a while still. If you have time?"

"Oh!" Mina's eyes widened and sparkled. "I'd love that. If it's ok with Momo?" She turned to her friend.

"Of course, of course," said Momo tolerantly. "We'll find a table. Perhaps your friend could join us, too?" she looked expectantly at a surprised Nayeon.

"Oh! Yes, I could do that," exclaimed Nayeon.

Fortunately, there wasn't too much to pack up; all of their stuff had to fit into their rented Sprinter van. They were back and ordering drinks in no time.

Once seated across from Mina, though, Chaeyoung had no idea what to do. What do people talk about anyway? she thought desperately. Aside from going out to play music, she tended to stay home (or wherever she was staying on the road) and didn't meet many new people.

"How long have you been on the road?" Mina asked. Tour stuff. She could handle talking about that.

"A few weeks," she answered. "Spokane, Montana, South Dakota, Minneapolis. Next we'll head down to Kansas City and then back west."

"Are you leaving tomorrow, then?" Mina looked disappointed.

"Yeah, although probably not too early," Chaeyoung said.

"And hopefully they'll be getting more CDs to us in Kansas City," Nayeon interjected. "So we'll be able to get them to you quickly."

"Oh, don't worry about that." Mina smiled. Then she looked at Chaeyoung. "But I do look forward to hearing from you."

Chaeyoung gulped, mesmerized. Mina was so pretty, and graceful, and she didn't want to leave without getting to know her.

"And what will you be doing? Working, studying?" Chaeyoung queried.

"Well, both!" Mina beamed. "We're dancers, Momo and I. We're in a small ballet company here in Minneapolis."

Of course; ballet must be a perfect showcase for Mina's grace and beauty. Chaeyoung suddenly felt awkward and about twelve years old in her denim miniskirt and leggings. And why would Mina, a ballet dancer, even be interested in her weird music?

"So what brought you two here?" Nayeon asked. Chaeyoung thanked her silently.

"We live pretty close by," Momo said. "We're roommates," she added hastily.

"And this place is cheap, but they usually bring in good artists, and the music is different from what we get at work, so it's relaxing and fun," Mina said.

Chaeyoung wasn't sure how she felt about that. It sounded a little like slumming. But she smiled and said "Well, I'm glad you came tonight."

"Me, too," said Mina.

They talked a little more, finding common musical interests in Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Green Day and K-pop ("what a strange mixture," Momo said). And then Nayeon insisted they had to leave and get at least a little sleep before driving to Kansas City, where they were staying overnight with Julia's aunt and uncle, crashing on couches and air mattresses.

"The CDs should arrive tomorrow in time for the show," Nayeon reported the next day, looking up from her phone as they sat in the living room before bed. "And then you can text your girlie and her friend," she teased. "Or maybe you should just go ahead and text her now!"

Chaeyoung glared at her. "Maybe I should just make you text Momo!"

"Oh, sweetie, she's nice, but there's nothing there for me. You, on the other hand, were clearly smitten!"

Chaeyoung drew her hoodie over her head and tightened it over her face. She didn't want to admit how much she'd liked Mina. What was the point? Mina lived in Minneapolis, and Chaeyoung lived in Portland, plus she spent a large portion of her time on the road.

But the next day, before the show, she texted Mina.

And after the show, there was a reply.

Oh. Well, that wasn't a request for a date or anything. They could be long distance friends, especially in the digital age.

Well, she'd gotten the gay vibes from Mina before, but it was always good to get confirmation.

Well, now they had THAT established. More or less.

They texted every day or two after that; usually not at the same time, because of their schedules, so it was kind of like being penpals.

Chaeyoung always spent at least part of the winter in Portland. She'd spend a couple of months working in a family friend's bookstore for the busy holiday season, and her spare time writing songs in her childhood bedroom.

And her own part-time retail job, Chaeyoung knew. Unfortunately, being in the arts didn't pay well, unless and until you made it big. Thank goodness her own parents were supportive.

The break from touring also meant that they could schedule the occasional video call.

"I have to go get ready for a performance soon," Mina said. She was dressed in gray sweats over a leotard with her hair pulled into a messy bun.

"How much more Nutcracker?" Chaeyoung asked, thinking that Mina was unfairly cute in sweatpants.

"A couple more shows," Mina responded. "Then we'll be full-on rehearsing for The Firebird."

"Are you doing anything for Christmas?" Chaeyoung asked. Mina didn't have time to visit her family, since ballet life demanded The Nutcracker for the holidays.

"Momo and I are getting together with a few other people from the company," she replied. "I wish you could be here, too!"

Chaeyoung loved her parents, but she thought she might rather be in Minnesota, too.

They talked on for a few more minutes before Mina had to leave.

"Is it 'break a leg' for dancers?" Chaeyoung asked.

"No!" Mina said, laughing. "It's 'merde!' which is French for "shit!"

Chaeyoung wanted to keep her laughing a little longer, but she just said "Well, then merde!"

"Same!" Mina said. "I miss you; let's talk on Christmas, ok?"

And then she was gone.

She misses me?

Was it possible to miss someone you'd only seen in person once? Maybe so, because Chaeyoung did feel something like that. Something that had her longing for more time with this girl, and for the chance to put her arms around her and lay her head on her shoulder. Something that left an ache in her chest and a smile on her face.

She was scheduled to perform at several places around Portland during January, but after that, they'd be on the road again.

Oh, duh. OK. West coast: Seattle, Spokane, Corvallis, Eugene, Oakland, Los Angeles. Then East Coast. Nothing in the middle.

Nayeon was not stupid, which was one of the reasons Chaeyoung hired her to be her manager. It wasn't so helpful at that moment, though.

"AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!" Nayeon was right. This wouldn't be very professional of her. Maybe she could swing a plane ticket.

Research, however, revealed that she could not swing a plane ticket, and she didn't have time for a bus or train, or god forbid, driving on her own.

She excitedly texted Mina the dates, and fortunately, it worked! Mina would come to Chicago and stay overnight; she'd have to go back right away the next day, but so would they.

Chaeyoung met Mina at the bus station in Chicago, bundled up in a coat, hat and scarf, hands in her pockets.

"Chaeng!" she heard, and turned to see Mina smiling and waving, a cute blue beret perched on her wavy hair.

Chaeyoung shrieked and ran over, met halfway by Mina, and they hugged each other, jumping up and down. Weirdly, even though this was only the second time they'd actually met, they now felt like old friends. Chaeyoung leaned back to look at Mina again, but their arms stayed around each other.

"I'm so happy to see you finally!" Mina bubbled over, dropping her arms and taking Chaeyoung's hands instead. "Look at you! I guess you finally figured out how to dress for the weather."

"Hey!" Chaeyoung protested. "We have winter in Oregon, too." Not like Chicago, though, she had to admit. Portland was more likely to be cold and rainy, while Chicago had leftover snow and a piercing wind that occasionally blew right through her layers. "Let's get you to the hotel, though."

It was just a cheap hotel, but it was centrally located, and they'd gotten a room for her and Mina to share for the night. "I don't want to be around for any funny business!" Nayeon had said, glaring at her.

"Please," Chaeyoung had replied. "We're just friends."

"Sure," Nayeon had said. "That's why you bullied me into extending the tour."

"Exactly, I'm glad you understand," Chaeyoung had replied smugly.

"That's your bed over there," Chaeyoung said, showing Mina around the room. "I hope you don't mind being by the window." The room was barely big enough for two beds; one nearly up against the window and the other just next to the bathroom. Mina flung her backpack, coat and purse and then herself onto the bed, legs dangling over the edge.

"What time do you have to be at the venue?" she asked.

"Like 8?" Chaeyoung responded. "We go on at 9, and we're following another act, so we don't get a soundcheck. We have some time to hang out and get dinner."

"I never asked, have you been to Chicago before? I've been here for weekends." Mina looked at her expectantly.

"We played here once before, but I didn't really have a chance to see anything," Chaeyoung said.

"Well, let's see what I can show you, then!" Mina snatched up her coat and purse and stood up.

Chaeyoung would just as soon hang out and talk, or listen to music together, but the hotel room was awfully cramped. "Let's go," she agreed, grabbing her own things.

The hotel was a short subway ride from downtown and Millenium Park. They didn't have time for museums or galleries, but they did get coffee and wander around looking at the outdoor sights.

Mina sometimes grabbed her hand or arm as she pointed out something. "Look! There's the Bean! It's actually called something else, but anyway...we have to go stand under it!" She pulled Chaeyoung's hand to drag her along.

Chaeyoung ran along with her, laughing. They looked up at their reflections, making silly poses and taking pictures. Mina stopped after taking a picture of Chaeyoung posing with her hip thrust out, double peace signs, and a fake sultry pout, and said "You're so cute, Chaeng!" planting a quick kiss on the top of her forehead and then grabbing her hand and pulling again. Chaeyoung followed along, dazed.

What are we doing? she thought. She wasn't about to stop and ask, though. Why ruin the moment?

There wasn't enough time, anyway. All too soon, they had to grab dinner and meet the others before heading to the venue. Mina squeezed into a seat next to Chaeyoung, surrounded by equipment.

"We don't even have that much stuff," Julia commented. "You should see some of the more electric bands."

"This is fine," Mina assured her, nudging Chaeyoung with her foot. Chaeyoung shyly wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her more securely onto the seat.

"Who came the furthest to be here tonight?" Chaeyoung asked from the stage. It was part of her usual shtick, but of course Mina raised her hand, along with several others.

"I know Miss Mina here came from Minneapolis," she said, grinning. "Anyone from further away?"

Mina laughed and gestured acceptance as someone shouted out that they were from New York. Chaeyoung was enraptured by her glowing face, but she moved on.

"This one's a cover," she said. "Hope you enjoy it!" She launched into Jewel's "You Were Meant For Me," which she had just added to the setlist for this round of touring, suddenly realizing that she could NOT look at Mina while singing this song, or she might not be able to look away. Of course, the song was about yearning for a broken relationship, and not really the same, but...oh dear. She shouldn't be thinking about this.

Mina waited quietly afterward, until they were done with the merch table, then helped them pack up. Chaeyoung relaxed into Mina's arm on the way back to the hotel, and they clasped hands as they tiredly went up to their room. Nayeon side-eyed them, saying "Don't stay up too late; we have to be on the road again tomorrow."

"Me, too," Mina said, regretfully. "The bus is at 8:30."

"I'm so tired anyway," Chaeyoung yawned. "I don't think I'm gonna make it much longer."

She was tempted to flop right onto the bed, but knew she probably wouldn't get up again if she did, and she'd regret not washing up. "You go first," Mina said. "I'm just going to reply to a couple texts."

When she was finished, and Mina had gone into the bathroom, Chaeyoung lay flat on the bed and closed her eyes. Then she thought better of it, flipped the bedspread back, and slipped under the blankets. It was too cold to be lounging around on top of the bedspread.

She was just beginning to drift off when Mina exited the bathroom and quietly shut the door.

"Chaeng? You asleep?" she whispered.

"Not quite," Chaeyoung answered drowsily, opening her eyes. "But soon."

"I won't bother you, then," Mina whispered, standing by the bed for a moment. "But I'm so glad I came to see you." She bent down and kissed Chaeyoung lightly on the forehead again. "Sleep well."

What to say? "I'm glad, too," she replied. Love you, her brain prompted. She shoved that thought down. We'll think about that later. Or not. "Good night."

The next morning came quickly. They grabbed breakfast from the hotel's meager free breakfast selections and headed reluctantly down to the bus station, swinging hands once again.

"You'll text me as soon as you get back?" Chaeyoung asked anxiously.

"Of course. And you too, when you get back to Portland?"

"And from the airport, probably. We won't be taking off until like 6."

That settled, they chatted about what they might do if Mina came to Portland.

"They're my store's competition, but we'll have to go to Powell's Books. It's amazing! Floors and floors of books!" Chaeyoung gestured excitedly.

"I've heard about a doughnut shop -- Voodoo Doughnuts? And people riding bikes?" Mina suggested.

"The doughnuts are overrated and not worth the wait in line," Chaeyoung declared, shaking her head. "Biking would be fun, though! And we should go to the beach; it's not too far away."

"Oh, I've missed the beach," Mina sighed. "We didn't live too close to it in Texas, but it's out of the question in Minnesota, except for lakes."

"I hope you can come soon," Chaeyoung said, leaning her head on Mina's shoulder. "We'll have so much fun!"

They sat silently for a moment, and then Mina's bus was announced for boarding, and they slowly stood up and hugged. Mina pulled back, but didn't quite let go. She brushed a bit of Chaeyoung's hair back softly, looking into her eyes. Chaeyoung's heart jumped into her throat.

"Chaeng? Is it ok if I give you a real kiss this time?"

Chaeyoung tilted her head and leaned in as her answer, and they kissed briefly and softly, reluctantly letting go of each other. "I'll talk to you soon," she said to Mina, who picked up her bag and headed for the bus, looking back one last time with a wave and a smile.

Chaeyoung sat down abruptly, stunned at what had just happened. They kissed? What did this mean? They were still going to be thousands of miles apart, so what was the point? And yet, why not? Why not enjoy what they could together? She didn't know. They'd have to talk it out, and that would have to wait until later.