Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chuuya sighed softly, he was sitting in the Armed detectives agency with Miyo, his beloved daughter who had wanted to have lunch with them and the other three port mafia members. “Dazai, go away.” Chuuya growled as he shoved the burnetts head away and probably into a wall. 

“But Chuuya~” Dazai whined, coming back to continue annoying the red-haired man. “I just wanna give baby Chibi a hug.”

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked over, currently holding the child in his lap while feeding her yoghurt. “I’m sorry Dazai-san but she’s eating.” He had a dark expression across his face, he wasn’t looking for the other man's approval anymore, he was getting all the approval he needed being called ‘big brother’ by Miyo. “Please do not bother her.”

Atsushi was sitting next to the male Akutagawa, half awake, head on his shoulder, eyes dropping. Atsushi had stayed up most of the night learning how to make yoghurt so Chuuya wouldn't have to buy any on the way here. Chuuya looked over at the were tiger and Akutagawa “are you sure you’re alright Atsushi?”

The tiger slowly sat up and smiled “I’m sure Chuuya-san, I’m glad I could help with something.” The blue haired girl who was sitting in front of Kōyō pouted, arms crossed as the woman brushed her hair, like Atsushi normally did.

“You stayed up all night making it because Dazai mentioned in the group chat about how it's hard for her to eat completely solid foods.” Kyouka Izumi said with a huff, arms crossed over her chest. “We could have brought some on the way here. You didn’t have to make it.”

Atsushi laughed awkwardly when he noticed a worried look spread across Chuuya’s face, Dazai however looked unbothered. “Sleep, weretiger.” Ryunosuke said, pulling the other boy back onto his shoulder, his cheeks faintly flushed but not to the point anyone could see it.

Chuuya shook his head and sat up, watching the two groups of people getting along, this was strange. Did a child really bring these completely different people together?

“Nakahara-san.” Kunikida piped up, a notebook in hand. “Do you plan on giving her a phone with you having to send her to school once her body recovers?”

Chuuyas' expression changed “I’ll have her homeschooled.” he said with no emotion in his voice. “She will not be going to school until I know those men aren't looking for her anymore because they're dead.” He softened his facial expression and smiled at the other man “you can be her teacher if you want.”

Kunikida nodded “I’ll have to see if I can fit that into my schedule.”

Dazai watched the room and hummed. “When are you getting her the phone then Chibi?”

“I already got her one, I’ve had someone make it extra light so she can hold it.” he said with a shrug, pulling out the mobile device. “It's only use is to message me, Gin, Ryuu or Kōyō while we're at work if she’s hungry, upset, scared or just lonely.”

Dazai happily grabbed it out of Chuuyas hand, happy that it didn’t have a password (Simply so the girl could get into it without any problems). “I’ll be adding my and half of the ADA’s numbers to her phone.”

Chuuya’s eyes twitched, especially when Dazai read out the contact names that she already had. “Latest message sent to ‘mama’ is~” he said with a smile, reading over the message “‘I love you too, baby.’” he hummed, staring at the phone “why did she send a voice message?”

“She can't put words together and can't write but she knows how to read.” Chuuya explained simply “I don’t understand how it works but I’ll leave it alone.” Dazai nodded as Chuuya explained, adding in the numbers he mentioned before, setting them all as their names— except Dazai, he put his own name as ‘dad’.

Chuuya took the phone back, simply changing the name Dazai had set for himself to ‘poop’ instead since that's what the girl was calling him. “How old is she again, Nakahara-san?”

Chuuya looked over at the gold-blonde haired male “She’s five years old. Her ability is a bit of a mess which is why she’s wearing a blindfold.” he said gently, reaching over and rubbing the small girl's head, hearing a confused sound come from Kunikida.

“It’s an effect of malnourishment and the experiments that were being conducted on her while she was with those men that's why she looks physically younger than she is.” Chuuya pulled his child into his lap and hugged her close, a smile on his face, hugging her always helped him to calm down and put the swelling energy at ease inside his chest.. Maybe he was just an overprotective father.

Akutagawa didn’t move, humming. “The weretiger is asleep.” he said with a small shake of the head. “I don’t don't think I can move.” he said with a small shrug, a smile faintly painted on his lips.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, then watched as Dazai slowly crept closer, he wouldn’t fight him this time, the man hadn’t hurt the small child so it was fine, plus if Dazai held her she would be able to take the blindfold off. Dazai slowly took the child out of Chuuya’s arms and into his own, ability active.

Chuuya smiled and removed the blindfold, the girl's bright sapphire blue eyes now on display for everyone to see. “Okay, is Nakahara a girl or something? Why does this child look like it’s their biological child?” Yasano asked, pausing in the middle of biting her sandwich.

“What the fudge?!” Chuuya huffed, eyes wide, oh how he wanted to swear at the other people in this room but he didn’t want his child to know those words so he wouldn’t and would use somewhat more child appropriate language. “Why do you think I would be the girl!?”

Yasano shrugged, a smile on her face “I’ve seen your neck covered in love bites during a fight, pretty sure there was a bite mark too.” She had to think of a word to replace ‘hickeys’ so the child wouldn’t be tainted.

Chuuya’s eyes widened “when was that!?

“About three months ago.” Kenji offered “I thought you got into a fight with an animal but Yasano-san said you did something with someone you love very much instead.”

Chuuya looked over at Dazai. “You break into my apartment randomly. Did you attack my neck while I was sleeping or drunk?”

Dazai didn't say anything, he wasn’t going to confirm or deny.

Chuuya held back from punching him in the face, why? Dazai had hold of Miyo and Chuuya didn’t want Miyo to see any violence. “You’re lucky I can't punch you, bastard.”

Dazai just smiled.

“Chuuya-san.” Kyouka spoke up “can you make a chat group between all of the people here?” 

The red haired male blinked, eyes softening as he thought it over “I might when I get home, however there will be rules. I will probably send them in text so I can have physical evidence when it comes to someone breaking them.”

The blue haired girl nodded. “Okay, however I don’t want to be in it.”

Chuuya laughed softly “you and four other agency members won't be in it, don’t worry.” He nodded with a smile.

Chapter Text

||Inside the ‘family’ chat||

Mama: Okay, as mentioned at lunch yesterday I mentioned that I might be making a group chat between the people there since Kyouka had mentioned it. I will be sending the rules to the chat as well however, you are not to argue
with me over them.

1) No swearing
2) No fighting
3) No suggestive content, if you wish for me to make
a chat between us all (excluding Miyo) for you to speak
freely about stuff I will.

Oba-san: Hello Chuuya-san, may I know why your name is ‘mama’ in this chat?

Mama: I don’t know but I do believe that everyone will be able to see what Myio  as everyone else set as.

Oba-san: My, how sweet of her to have me under ‘Oba’. I do love her so very much.

Mama: Yes, she's the most adorable child I’ve ever seen.

Ryuu-ani: So Chuuya-sama is ‘mama’ and I'm guessing that Kōyō-san is ‘Oba-san’?

Mama: That is correct. If you would like to check your own name while you’re at it, I'm sure you’ll love her more than before.

Ryuu-ani: Chuuya-sama, may I take her out for ice cream during my break?

Gin-ane: Ryuu, you promised we could get crepes..

Ryuu-ani: we can bring her along.

Gin-ane: ah, yes, let's bring her along.

Mama: She has to be home before the sunsets.

Ryuu-ani: I’ll make sure of it, Chuuya-sama.

Poop: What is going on with this?
Poop: is this the group chat I’ve been waiting for Chuuya?

Mama: Read your name.

Ryuu-ani: I believe it's suitable considering his hair.

Poop: what? Why?
Poop: Why the heck am I ‘poop’!?
Poop: I set my name to ‘dad’!!

Mama: which is why I changed it. You’re not her father.

Poop: Then who will be?

Mama: Me.

Poop: You’re the mother

Mama: and the father.

Oba-san: I agree, Chuuya, you’ll need someone to help with her when you go on missions you can't go on.

Mama: Which is why you, Ryuu, Gin and Atsushi exist.

Poop: why is Atsushi included??

Gin-ane: Awwe

Ryuu-ani: I will protect her with my life.

Oba-san: I will happily take care of her.

Mama: Because Atsushi stayed up all night making something that he wasn’t asked to make because he was told Miyo struggled to eat solid foods, it was sweet and meant a lot to me so he is included in people I would trust to take care of her if I go on a mission or die.

Mama: Speaking of him, where is he? I thought he would be the first one to
respond to the message, no offence Ane-san.

Oba-san: none taken, Chuuya-san.

Ryuu-ani: He is with me, asleep someone drugged his drink that he got from a
milkshake stand or something, he called me about two hours ago about feeling woozy and sick. I have been taking care of him though, so there is no need to worry about the weretiger.

Mama: I’m glad he's okay.

Miyo sent a voice message.

“Mama, I wants a c-cath.” 

Mama: We will talk about that later baby.

Poop: Miyo, darling can you change my name?

Mama: stop, if you make her change your name you’ll stress her out trying to put a word together for the first time.

Oji-Kunna: Why is my phone blowing up so much?

Mama: Hello Kunikida.

Ryuu-ani: who would have known that he was gonna be under ‘uncle’?

Mama: I did.
I told her to message me or anyone with Ani, Ane, Oba or Oji in their contact name if she feels scared or something. I feel like Kunikida would be a good choice for her to contact in an emergency, unlike Dazai.

Oji-Kunna: I am honoured you think so highly of me Nakahara-san. I will make sure to save Miyo’s contact in case this does happen.

Mama: Thank you.

Poop: How is Atsushi now Akutagawa?

Ryuu-oni: as I said before he is asleep, I am taking care of him I believe the drug is affecting his ability because some of the tiger's traits have shown up,
such as a tail and the rounded ears of his. I am starting to worry about him since he seems to be in pain.

Poop: Do tigers have heats?

Candy man: female Tigers have an Estrus cycle which is another way to say a heat cycle so use, they do Dazai. However Atsushi isn’t a female so it shouldn’t be happening to him. I have a feeling that he got hit by an ability while he was drinking the milkshake instead of it being drugged.

Ryuu-ani: Then I shall keep an eye out to see if someone comes around to try and take him.

Poop: What if I try to take him.

Ryuu-ani: I’ll use my ability against you.

Poop: how mean of you Akutagawa

Mama: Dazai, leave him to be an overprotective boyfriend.

Poop: Akutagawa and Atsushi are dating!?

Gin-ane: Not yet, but Ryuu is acting like they are.

Ryuu-ani: If you all dont stop blowing up the weretigers phone I will hit you, personally I already have this chat muted.

Oba-san: I agree with Akutagawa, I have to get ready for a job.

Oji-Kunna: I am also for that idea, we have work to do at the agency, Akutagawa I will trust that Atsushi will be safe in your care.

Mama: I also agree, Miyo needs to go down for a nap.

Poop: She’s five??

||Mama has muted the chat for seven hours, no one is allowed to reply||

Chapter Text

||Inside the ‘family’ chat||

Miyo sent a voice message
“Mama goth mi cath!”

{{Unable to add image, if you wish to see it please head over to my wattpad page}}

Mama: It's an Egyptian maus. She said it looked like Atsushi so she got him while I was taking her around and showing her animals. This is the second cat to live in my apartment.

Sushi-ane: Awwe, she’s so sweet!!

Ryuu-ani: why is the weretiger being called ‘Big sister’? I thought he was male.

Sushi-ane: I am a male, I think Chuuya-san made a mistake when typing in my contact name for her ^^

Mama: I didn’t, she’s been calling you ‘Sushi-ane’ after your last picnic with the Akutagawa siblings.

Sushi-ane: Awwe! She’s adorable!

Ryuu: you don’t care that she's calling you ‘Big sister’?

Sushi-ane: Nope! I don’t mind.

Poop: why does everyone other than me get a good nameee?

Mama: Because you tried to name yourself ‘dad’ without my permission and I refuse to have you near my child.

Poop: You’re so mean Chibi~

Ryuu-ani: says the one who left him alone, could have taken him with you at least. 🙄

Gin-ane: That was kind of rude Dazai-san

Sushi-ane: that is kind of mean Dazai-san, if you brought him into the port mafia you could have at least offered to take him with you.. If you did, maybe you'd have a better relationship with him now.

Poop: well I was going to, but when I showed up he was passed out on his couch.

Mama: can you all stop arguing, this is literally against the rules I set.

Poop: No, you said no fighting, not no arguing.

Mama: Dazai I swear to god. I’ll add arguing to the rule list.

1) No swearing
2) No fighting
3) No arguing
4) No suggestive content, if you wish for me to make
a chat between us all (excluding Miyo) for you to speak
freely about stuff I will.

Mama: Done.

Ryuu-ani: I’m sorry for breaking that rule Chuuya-san 

Mama: You’re fine Ryuu, Dazai’s the only one in trouble. Dazai, go sit in the corner.

Poop: Why?

Mama: I saw what you sent Miyo privately, you should be glad she is playing with Gin.

Oba-san: What did he say?

Mama: I don’t want to say, but Miyo would have started crying if she saw it.

Poop: It wasn’t that bad.

||Mama muted Poop for ten minutes||

Mama: It was him calling her new kitten she had sent photos of (like the one I sent) a dead weight and a monster.

Oba-san: That would indeed make Miyo upset, Dazai you need to delete that message immediately.

Sushi-ane: Dazai-san, you shouldn’t say such mean things to her, she’s only little.

Mama sent a voice message

“I love mama, Oba-san, Ryuu-ani, Gin-ane and Sushi-ane!” 

“Miyo, darling can I have my phone back please?”

Sushi-ane: I love you too Miyo-chan!

Ryuu-ani: ^

Gin-ane: Ryuu and I love you too Princess.

Oba-san: I love you too little one.

Oji-Kunna: what is happening?

Oji-Kunna: Dazai.

Oji-Kunna: I shall punish him as I see fit, i'm sorry for stealing your boyfriend from you Nakahara-san.

Mama: He is not my boyfriend.

Sushi-one: Really? 

Sushi-ane: Dazai-san always talks about how ‘cute my chibi is’ while he shows us photos of you.

Ryuu-ane: why did I hear glass breaking?

Oba-san: There is no need to worry, I have Miyo with me so Chuuya-san didnt hurt her..

Gin-one: He broke the window.

Ryuu-oni: HE BROKE THE WINDOW!?

Ryuu-ani: HOW?!

Ryuu-ani: WHY!?

Sushi-one: Must have been angry with what Dazai had been doing behind his back… And his ability must have done it.

Gin-ane: No, he is extremely flustered, this has happened before.

Yosa-Oba: Dazai gives me possessive-yandere boyfriend vibes.

Gin-ane: he is one, Chuuya-sama was being hit on by these two guys while he was drunk and Dazai-san came out of nowhere then kinda scared them off after threatening to kill them.

Gin-ane: Oh, he also showed them Chuuya-sama’s neck full of kisses and nibbles. (keeping it innocent for Miyo is hard TnT)

Yosa-Oba: dang, we should pay someone to make out with drunk Chuuya and see what happens.

Poop: They would die.

Poop: I’ll kill them for touching my Chibi.

Mama: Shut up. I’m going back to work.

Mama: Ane-san, please make sure Miyo is put to bed before 8pm.

Oba-san: Of course, Chuuya-san

Oba-san: Have fun on your mission.

Poop: Chibi is going on a mission, without me?!

Poop: How dare you?

Mama: It’s not anything special, I just have to make some guy sleep for a while (please don’t use the word kill Gin, Dazai, I don’t want Miyo to find out about her ability yet.)

Gin-ane: Right, sorry Mama

Poop: No, I’m going with you Chibi.

Poop: Gin, you just called Chuuya ‘Mama’

Gin-ane: Autocorrect 

Ryuu-ani: Totally.

Ryuu-ani: Weretiger, are you busy tonight?

Sushi-ane: I am not ^^

Sushi-ane: Do you need help with something, Ryuu?

Poop: ‘Ryuu’??

Sushi-ane: I was reading the name he was saved as and wasn't paying attention to what i was typing. I'm so so sorry!!!

Ryuu-ani: It's fine Weretiger.

Ryuu-ani: Anyways I’ll be at your apartment in a minute, get dressed in something nice, I’m taking you with me somewhere.

Gin-ane: Is this a SSKK date??

Sushi-ane: Okay Aku, I’ll be ready by the time you get here! <3

Ryuu-ani: Good.

Poop: when did they start dating!?!

Mama: You’ve missed a lot while you've been trying to sleep forever.

Poop: I'm so confused–

||Oji-Kunna has muted the chat for 5 hours||

Chapter Text

Chuuya sighed as he tied up the corset, strangling his body a little. The dress he was wearing was long, dragging along the floor behind him. The black dress with the red corset was not what he had wanted to wear today, he had wanted to wear a suit with a tie. Not a dress.

Chuuya brushed his hair out, letting it fall down his shoulders loosely, the makeup he was wearing would fool anyone into thinking he was female. Chuuya sighed, pulling the heels on, he felt taller now however something in him was telling him that Dazai was still going to make fun of his height.

“I do look good though..” He hummed and smiled, posing in the mirror. The fake boobs he was being forced to wear looked way too realistic for his taste considering how low the dip of the dressed neckline was. “Time to get this over with.”

Chuuya walked out of his office, walking down the stairs, using his ability to keep the dress off the ground. Chuuya bit the inside of his lip and exited the building, getting into the limousine which was prepared for him by Mori. “Where to?” the man driving the car asked, making Chuuya sigh again.

“The red ribbon dance.” Chuuya looked out the window, ignoring the door opening on the other side and the man getting in with him, it had to be Tachihara, his partner for this mission.

“I’m sorry for being late Chibi~” Dazai cooned, reaching over and pulling Chuuya to his side. Their mission involved them pretending to be a couple so it made sense if Dazai was clingy, however what didn't make sense was Dazai being here.

“What happened to Tachihara?” he asked quietly, willingly relaxing into the other side. He always felt safe near Dazai, this time was no different. “Did he drop the mission?”

“Mori sent me an email asking if I would go in place of him since he got sick and couldn’t come.” Dazai said, an arm around Chuuya’s waist, attempting to pull him closer. “If you were really a woman I would ask you to commit a double suicide with me.”

Chuuya sighed “and I would still refuse, I have a child to take care of.” Chuuya laid his head on the other man's shoulder. “And these things are heavy as shit, I don't want them any longer then I have to have them on.”

Dazai squeeze one, humming. He slipped his hand in though the dip in the neckline and squeezed again. “What are these made of?” he asked, pulling his hand away. 

“Breast implants.” he said quietly, he was quite relaxed at the moment and since he couldn't feel what the other had done he was quite happy. “Do I have to explain the plan to you?”

“That would be much appreciated Chibi.” Dazai smiled, rubbing the shorter man's cheek.

“Our target is Lundo Kaza, a man from Yamaguchi. He has come to Yokohama to continue his slave trading business; he takes women into his bedroom after seducing them and knocks them out before he sells them off to someone.” Chuuya said, still relaxed in the other's hold, though he could feel it tighten slightly.

“And what role are you going to play?”

“If you couldn’t tell already I will be playing the part of your wife. My role is to seduce him and take him to a room, while your job is to kill him.” Chuuya continued to speak, not minding the feeling of someone's hand in his hair, that was also relaxing.

“So we just have to get him alone and kill him?” Dazai asked, his tone cold, like how he was back in the mafia. Dazai felt something cold and evil wrap over his heart at the thought of someone else touching his Chuuya. “Should be easy enough without you having to seduce him.”

“What if he seduces me?” It wasn’t a likely outcome that this man would be Chuuya’s type however the thought of there being even a chance of it pissed Dazai off even more.

“I’ll force you to stick to me like glue.”

*****

Dazai did make Chuuya stick to him like glue, holding Chuuya around his waist and refusing to let go. “Dazai, I need to do the job.” Chuuya grumbled, attempting to leave the other man's hold, being pulled back to his chest harshly, which Chuuya did not like.

“I said it would be done without you getting touched by him.” Dazai’s voice was low as he spoke into Chuuya’s ear.

“Dazai, do not start getting overly possessive right now.” This has happened before, on a mission when they were nineteen, Chuuya was being flirted with and Dazai blew their cover by killing the man who was flirting with him. “I am not yours, you need to calm down and go ask some random lady to commit a double suicide with you.”

Chuuya pulled away and walked off before Dazai could react which caused the burnett man to pout, he was only trying to keep his chibi safe. Chuuya walked around, trying to find where his target was. The ginger man could feel Dazais gaze on him wherever he went.

Chuuya sighed and rubbed his temples, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with an overly possessive and protective Dazai at the moment. His mind needed to be focused on the mission, not getting flustered of the brunette's possessiveness. Nakahara walked around, coming across their target; Lundo Kaza.

The man was tall, shorter than Dazai but still taller than Chuuya. While Dazai was 181 cm and Chuuya was 160 cm, this man was about 176 cm, which made Chuuya feel short, with Dazai it was normal, with this man it made him uncomfortable.

Lundo had long, black hair which was braided down his back, extremely pale skin and bright green eyes, when those eyes landed on Chuuya something almost hungry filled them. It wasn’t the same look as Dazai’s when he had first worn something more skimpy than this during a mission.

Dazais ‘hungry’ eyes had more of a gentle touch when they scanned over him. This man gave Chuuya the chills, his bones freezing over and his blood rushing into icy water. Chuuya gulped, a shiver running down his spine as his face remained the same behind a fake smile, a wine glass in his hand.

“Hello, beautiful.” the man bowed as he reached out of Chuuya’s free hand, placing a small, gentle kiss on the knuckles of the glove. Oh how Chuuya wished he hadn’t run off from Dazai. “You look stunning in that dress.”

Chuuya hummed, sipping his wine, attempting to send some signal to his partner that he wasn’t feeling safe. “Why thank you, you look quite handsome yourself.” He felt a bitter tinge fill his mouth, he had always hated lying and these types of jobs, but he needed the money.

Dazai was still watching, silently making his way over, a calm rage washing over him. However Dazai stopped, now noticing the way Chuuya’s body was reacting to this man, he was uncomfortable in every bone. The thought of his Chibi being uncomfortable around this man made him quite happy, that was until the target leaned down and locked lips with a quite surprised Chuuya.

Chuuya’s job was to get the man into a space without any other people around, Dazai knew that this was going to happen, so he silently followed Chuuya and the man into another room, hiding in the shadows.

Chuuya regretted complimenting him, even though that was to build trust between him and the target. He never had one that became so… like this after a compliment before though and that's what worried him. Chuuya could feel the man's hands on his waist, the man's face in his neck. He wanted to cry, to use his ability to kill him but he couldn’t since Mori didn’t want any strings attached to the mafia found on sight.

Dazai watched, pulling his gun out, shooting the man in the head several times and in the back five times. Twelve bullets in the man didn’t seem like it was enough of a punishment to Dazai but he wouldn’t worry about it, he had to get Chuuya home.

The taller of the two walked on the body and pulled the smaller into a hug, arms wrapped around the gingers waist “let's get you home and changed, that way I can look at your neck and make sure there's no marks..” he grumbled, rubbing the smaller boys back and kissing his forehead.

“Dazai..?” Chuuya mumbled out, out of it for some reason.

“Yes, Chibi..?”

“I think the wine was drug-” Chuuya passed out in Dazai’s arms, going completely limp and forcing the taller man to support all of his weight. Dazai lifted him up, rubbing his head and smiling softly, gently moving his arm under the others legs, the dress’s tail was wrapped around Chuuyas legs. 

“I’ll take care of you Chibi, don’t worry.” Dazai whispered into his ear as he walked out of the room, blood staining the white floors of the manor as Dazai walked to the exit.

*****

Dazai laid Chuuya down, having just finished bathing and changing Chuuya. He smiled and moved the small mafioso’s hair out of the way of his neck, eye twitching at the sight of a small hickey, which should go away within two hours. Dazai hummed, moving his face towards the smallers neck and smiling to himself.

He didn’t like the hickey since it wasn’t one he had given Chuuya, so he pulled a bit of the boy's skin into his mouth using his teeth and sucked on it, slowly pulling more and more into his mouth, moving from stop to spot. Eventually Dazai pulled away and smiled at his artwork, maybe next time he would leave a bite mark.

The door creaked open and Dazai looked over to find a crying Miyo, she was shaking and holding some plushie of Chuuya, which had been made for her when she’s alone. “Mama..?”

Dazai stood off the bed and swept her off her feet. “Princess Nakahara, would you like some chocolate milk before we cuddle with mama?” The small child nodded which caused Dazai to smile a little. He didn’t like kids, but since this was his and the Chibis (though the Chibi refused to admit) child he was happy to take care of her.

Dazai carried her out to the kitchen and placed her on the counter, grabbing a baby bottle. Although the girl was five she had no body strength yet since she couldn’t eat much. So they had to use baby bottles while he drank so there would be no mess on her or the floor.

Dazai poured some of the chocolate milk which—Chuuya had probably made so she wouldn’t get sick— into the bottle and put the lid on, screwing it shut before placing the jug of milk back. Dazai picked the girl up, having her sit on his hip while he carried her and the bottle to Chuuya’s bedroom.

Dazai set the girl down next to the ginger who had the same eyes as her and crawled on next to them both, holding the bottle up while the girl drank, letting her help hold it, like you do with young babies. “Wanna tell me why you’re up so late?”

The girl pulled away from the bottle, Dazai putting it right way up and holding it while having it lightly placed on her chest. “Bad dreams..” she wished “the men in white were here and hurt mama beau-se mama wouldn’t give me back.”

Dazai rubbed her head “don’t worry, I’ll make sure they cant hurt you or mama. Okay?”

The small child nodded “okay poop..” she simply fell asleep, Dazai placing the bottle on the bedside table and laughing softly before going to sleep himself.

Chapter Text

||You are now private messaging Dazai||

Chuuya: What the fuck happened last night?
Chuuya: Dazai?

Dazai: Oh after I killed the guy you fainted, said something about your wine being drugged but I think you passed out due to stress and me making you feel safe 😊

Chuuya: I passed out?
Chuuya: Oh
Chuuya: Did he leave this many hickeys on my neck?

Dazai: Oh, no
Dazai: He only left one, I felt upset that he had left something on you so I fixed it.

Chuuya: Ah,
Chuuya: I should have known, considering the heart shape of it.

Dazai: Do you like it, Chibi?~

Chuuya: No comment.

Dazai: Oh, Miyo came in once I had finished up with your neck too, she had a nightmare so I got her chocolate milk and all three of us snuggled. <3

Chuuya: What was the nightmare?

Dazai: ahhh
Dazai: Something about the men in white coming around to your apartment and hurting you because you refused to give her back.
Dazai: But it's nothing to worry about I shall protect you both

Chuuya: Okay, I’ll have to take tomorrow off to stay with her.
Chuuya: Thank you for calming her down.
Chuuya: I will not need you to protect me or Miyo, I can handle it.

Dazai: Whatever you say, Chibi~

||Inside the ‘family’ chat||

Sushi-ane: I said no!

Ryuu-ani: Why not?

Sushi-ane: I don't want to be your pet!

Ryuu-ani: But you’re a cat,
Ryuu-ani: cat’s are pets.

Sushi-ane: I’m a tiger!
Sushi-ane: Tigers are not pet cats!

Gin-ane: Tigers are a big cat which means they can be a pet cat.

Candy man: Atsushi, at least let him pet you while you're full tiger.

Sushi-ane: I can’t control my ability completely yet!!
Sushi-ane: I don't want to accidentally hurt anyone!

Mama: Ryuu, Gin, Ranpo please leave the sushi alone, he might have a gay panic while thinking about getting headpats from Ryuu.

Poop: Mama Chuuya is back in the chat 😍

Mama: I wish to leave.

Poop: I’m sorry, forgive me
Poop: Please?

Mama: Like I forgave you for getting me questioned at work?

Poop: I did?

Ryuu-ane: Dazai-san is the mosquito?
Ryuu-ane: (To keep our princess’ purity how it is.)

Mama: Yes, he is.

Oba-san: Looks like I’ll have to have a talk with you, Dazai.

Mama: Ane-san, don’t worry, I’ll just make him clean up after the cats until these are gone.

Oba-san: Okay, Chuuya-san, however please let me know if you want me to stab him. ^^

Mama: I will ane-san, don’t worry.
Mama: Now I’m going to make a new group chat so we can say the things you want to without withdrawal.

Mama: Watching Ryuu hold back from swearing is amusing, but a lot funnier in real life.

Ryuu-ani: Chuuya-sama!
Ryuu-ani: You’re the best!!

Chuuya made a chat,
Chuuya added: Dazai, Ryunosuke, Gin, Kōyō and four others.

Chuuya has named the chat ‘Fucking hell’

Dazai has named the chat ‘Chuuya’s ass’

Gin has named the chat 'Alliance GC’

Chuuya: Now we shall go by our actual names in this one

Dazai has changed his nickname.

Ryunosuke has changed his nickname.

Dazai has changed Chuuyas nickname.

+6 other notifications

Dazai_Simp: Never mind

Dazai_Simp: What the fuck did you do to my name Dazai!?!?!

Chuuya_Simp: Is it wrong?
Chuuya_Simp: You were whimpering under me last night

Sushi_roll: What is going on..?

Ryuu: Do not mind them, weretiger.
Ryuu: Are you at home at the moment?

Sushi_roll: I am, however I’m sick so I wouldn’t recommend coming over. I've been sick for a few days but now it's gotten worse. I don’t want you getting sick Ryuu..

Ryuu: I’m on my way.
Ryuu: Ignore Dazai-san and Chuuya-sama.

Chuuya_Simp: Well, Chuuya?

Dazai_Simp has change his name

Nakahara: Shut up Dazai, I’m changing the locks so you won't be able to get into my house again.

Chuuya_Simp: Why did you change it?

Nakahara: Because I can, I’m going back to work.
Nakahara: Yasano, please look after Miyo for me.

Ya_slay: Will do Nakahara-kun.
Ya_slay: What the fuck is my name?

Nakahara: Dazai or ‘Chuuya_Simp’ did it.

Nakahara is offline.

Chuuya_Simp has changed Nakahara's nickname.

Ya_slay: Dazai, what did you change his name to?

Chuuya_Simp:   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ya_saly: Dazai, he is going to kill you.

Chuuya_Simp Has changed his name

Chapter Text

||Inside the ‘Alliance’ chat||

Dazais_Bottom: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD!?!

Sushi_roll: Miyo is missing?

Ryuu: No..

Gin_is_cool: I will start looking now.

Ane-san: As Shall I.

Ryuu-ani: I thought you were on a mission out of Japan, Kōyō-san.

Ane-san: I am but Miyo is more important than a mission.

Gin_is_cool: Agreed.

Ya_slay: I will prepare the clinic incase she’s hurt.

Dazais_Bottom: Thank you, Yasano-san

Popo: Should I help?

Dazais_Bottom: That would be much appreciated.

Sushi_roll: Kyouka-chan and I will also help Chuuya-san!

Dazais_Bottom: I’m gonna take you both out for crepes after we find Miyo.

Gin_is_cool: Chuuya-san, I’ll take the black lizard and do a sweep of Yokohama.

Ane-san: I shall come back from my mission now.

Chuuyas_Top: What is going on?
Chuuyas_Top: Oh–
Chuuyas_Top: Mini Chibi is with me.

Dazais_Bottom: I am going to drown you if you don’t give her back.

Gin_is_cool: Chuuya-san, Shall we go and bring Dazai and princess Nakahara to you now?
Gin_is_cool: Chuuya-san, We are awaiting orders

Dazais_Bottom: Retrieve my daughter.
Dazais_Bottom: Dazai you must hand over my daughter peacefully.

Chuuyas_Top: Nope, not happening, she's mine now.

Dazais_Bottom: If you do not hand over my daughter peacefully I will kick you to the other side of japan. @Ane-san There is no need for you to return. We have found her, please enjoy your mission overseas.

Ane-san: Thank you Chuuya-san, I shall give Dazai an earful when I return.

Dazais_Bottom: Yes, ane-san.

Chuuyas_Top sent a voice message.
“Mama! Mama! Guess whafft!” There was a break between her words, the sound of Miyos vice calmed Chuuya’s racing heart. “Poop took me to geth ice cream and cookies!! I’m coming to see mama at worth now!!”

Dazais_Bottom: Okay, darling. That sure sounds fun but are you hurt? Did he try to make you get in a river? Stand in front of a train? Jump off a bridge??

Chuuyas_Top sent a voice message.
“I okay! We didn't do that stuffs, sounths scary.” You could hear Dazai’s offended gasp in the background.

“I would never take this angel to do a double Slide with me, if I did it would be a triple because we’d have to bring Chuuya along.” Dazai said, you could tell he was pouting by his tone of voice.

Chuuyas_Top sent a voice message.
“I come see mama, ani, ane and Oba-san!!”

Ane-san: That’s sweet of you darling, but I’m away on a work trip at the moment, I’ll stop by to give you hugs when I get back.

Ryuu: Right, Kōyō-san if you're away on a trip why did you mention helping, you know how you hardly get to go overseas on a vacation.

{{Small reminder: They do not want Miyo knowing they work for the port mafia so they're going with it being a work-trip/vacation not her going away to kill some people.}}

Ane-san: Miyo is more important than any trip.

Dazais_Bottom: Yes.

Gin_is_cool: I agree,, also Chuuya-san, we have managed to contain Dazai and the princess, they shall be brought to your office immediately.

Ryuu: That is true.

Dazais_Bottom: Thank you Gin, please make sure that Dazai is in a containment box so he won't be able to put germs on my child and me.

Gin_is_cool: I will, Chuuya-san.

Chuuyas_Top: Aww, Chibi, why are you being so mean?
Chuuyas_Top: And why are you all so obsessed with Mini Chibi??

Dazais_Bottom: She’s my baby. I'm allowed to be obsessed with her safety.

Chuuyas_Top: That is understandable, however I don't understand everyone else.

Ane-san: I’m her auntie.

Gin_is_cool: I'm her big sister.

Ryuu: I am her elder brother, the weretiger is her brother-in-law.

Chuuyas_Top: Brother-in-law!?

Ya_slay: I’m her other aunt.

Popo: I’m her cousin figure.

Chuuyas_Top: what the fuck–

Sushi_roll: And Kyouka-chan is her sister-in-law ^^

Chuuyas_Top: Can we go back to Atsushi being the brother-in-law!?

Dazais_Bottom: No, now. Stay in your containment chamber in the basement, I’m keeping my baby to myself. Gin, could you please order Pizza so we can have a Pizza party in celebration of finding her?

Gin_is_cool: I’m already on it, will we invite the three ADA family members too?

Dazais_Bottom: @Ya_slay @Sushi_roll you two (and Kyouka) wanna come?

Sushi_roll: We will be coming.

Ryuu: Good.

Ya_slay: I’m down, we gonna drink?

Dazais_Bottom: I would say yes, but I have to watch Miyo so I can’t.

Ya_slay: What a responsible father.

Ya_slay: Mother*

Chapter Text

||You are now private messaging Dazai||

Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai

Dazai: What is it ,Chibi?
Dazai: Why the hell are you just saying my name like eleven times??
Dazai: I’m not inside you so ou shouldn’t be repeating my name–

Chuuya: Dazai

Dazai: Yes, Chibi?

Chuuya: Dazai

Dazai: Are you drunk?

Chuuya: Dazai

Dazai: You’re drunk, I’ll be there to get you in a moment.

Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
Chuuya: Dazai
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Chuuya: Dazai
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Chuuya: Dazai
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Chuuya: Dazai
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Chuuya: Dazai

Dazai: Holy shit–
Dazai: I wondered why my phone was blowing up.
Dazai: I’m nearly there, give me a second, Chibi.

Chuuya: Dazai..

Dazai: Yes, yes I know.
Dazai: I will give you cuddles.

Chuuya: 😁

Dazai: Why is it so cute when you use emojis!?
Dazai: Okay, Chibi, Where are you?

Chuuya is offline

Dazai: God damn it Chibi!
Dazai: I’ll find you myself!

Dazai sighed as he put his phone down, rubbing his temples, he was in a corroded room with no view of what he knew to be an overly drunk Chuuya. He was worried the small man had passed out somewhere.

Dazai shook his head and started to push his way through the crowd to the balcony where he did inside Chuuya, who was sulking, tears in his eyes. “Chibi..” Dazai cooned softly and walked over, pulling Chuuya into a hug. Unlike Dazai who got extremely clingy when he was drunk, Chuuya got really, really emotional.

“Dazai..”

Dazai nodded, rubbing the mafioso’s head, swaying side to side slightly. “Yes Chibi?”

“Osamu..” 

Dazai hummed again, looking down at the shorter man. “Yes, Chuuya?”

“Don’t steal my child again or I really will kick you into the ocean!!” Chuuya yelled at the top of his lungs, anger covering his face. And with that Dazai was thrown off the building in a fit of Chuuyas drunken rage.

Dazai, of course, was fine and made his way back to the shorter male. “Chibi, that hurt, can you kiss it better?” he whined, giving his best attempt at puppy dog eyes, Dazai was just playing around, he didn’t expect any apology or kisses from Chuuya.

“Sorry..” he grumbled out, simply giving Dazai a hug.. Maybe drunk Chuuya was Dazai’s favourite Chuuya.

Chapter Text

||Inside the ‘Alliance’ chat||

Chuuyas_Top sent a voice message.
“Chuuya, can you come here please? I have the wine you want, but sadly I can't move, I'm stuck.”

Dazais_Bottom: Why the fuck did you send that here?
Dazais_Bottom: You should have just called me or messaged me privately.

Ryuu: I think he wants to fuck you, Chuuya-sama.

Sushi_roll: No, I’m with Dazai-san, he is literally stuck, I’m holding the wine.
SUshi_roll: Dazai-san decided that getting to a really thin hole with his hand (and phone) above his head for a suicide attempt was a good idea.

Dazais_Bottom: Atsushi, ignore Dazai and come to my apartment. I'm ordering lunch for you, it should be here when you get here.
Dazais_Bottom: Ryuu, before you ask, you and Gin are both invited to come along too.

Ryuu: I shall be there soon, I have to clean up this body.

Sushi_roll: Chuuya-san, I don’t know your address
Sushi_roll: Good work on the job Ryuu! <3

Ryuu: Thank you, I made sure not to hurt him too badly since he still needs to be questioned, though one of his arms did get ripped off so that is what I’m cleaning. I may be a bit late Chuuya-sama.

Gin_is_cool: I sadly can not attend the family gathering. I promised Princess Nakahara that we could have a tea-party with Elise.

Dazais_Bottom: that is fine Gin
Dazais_Bottom: I shall send you my address through direct messages, Atsushi
Dazais_Bottom: Well done on a good job, Ryuu. It is fine if you’re late, I’m going to order more food anyways.

Chuuyas_Top: Help..?

Dazais_Bottom: No.

Ryuu: I’m a bit busy Dazai-san.

Sushi_roll: I tried but you’re pretty stuck in there..

Gin_is_cool: Can’t, I have a tea-party to attend.

Chuuyas_Top: Anyone..?

Chuuya sighed, shaking his head. Chuuya walked over to the door and opened it, being greeted by an extremely shy Atsushi, with two bottles of wine in hand, he looked out of place holding them.

“Chuuya-san, I have brought the wine..” he said awkwardly. The ginger turned and opened the door more, offering the boy inside.

“Come on, the food and Ryuu will be here soon.” Chuuya was glad he had the day off, though he missed his other two children (Miyo and Gin). Atsushi slowly walked in, glancing around as Chuuya closed the door, humming as he led the boy to the living room. “Just set those down somewhere, I’ll clean up after lunch.”

Atsushi nodded and set the bottles down, hands shaking lightly, he had no idea what to do and since Chuuyas apartment was so fancy and clean he was worried about touching anything, even the floor.

Chuuya smiled “I have two cats and a dog, don't worry about making any mess and just sit down.” That did help calm Atsushi’s nerves, slowly he sat down on the soft, red couch which he was surprised to find was fluffy. “Miyo likes to sleep on the couches during the day to regain energy, so I brought some fluffy and soft ones for her.”

Atsushi smiled, “you're a good parent.”

Chuuya’s heart softened, even more if that was possible, he was weak to kids he loved them and had adopted three, which might not have been a good idea considering two were close in age to him. “Thank you, Atsushi.” he said gently, sitting beside him. “I’ve been meaning to ask.. How did you meet Dazai?”

“Oh! That..” he laughed awkwardly. “He was working on a case about a man-eating-tiger which had shown up two weeks before we met..” he said weakly, playing with his hands. “I happened to find him trying to drown himself in a river and pulled him out. I don’t think he was very happy about it but he was calm while we talked.”

Chuuya nodded along, paying close attention to each word. “Okay, you met him when he was trying to kill himself again?”

“Yea, it was interesting considering the fact he and Kunikida took me to eat after I got him out of the river.” Ryunosuke had arrived and was just silently listening in while standing in the doorway. “They started to talk about their job and I got curious, so I asked a few questions and when they spoke about the tiger I freaked out..” 

Atsushi was mumbling, a little faint blush on his cheeks from embarrassment. Chuuya hugged him, petting his head… just his parental instincts taking over. “After we talked Dazai-san took me to a warehouse and I was talking about the orphanage, then I heard a sound and freaked out, I don’t remember much of it after looking at the moon but Dazai said I was the tiger or something..” Atsushi seemed more relaxed with Chuuya holding him– maybe it's just Atsushi being a kid. “However my right hand didn't change back, I freaked out again when I saw it.. That was the day I met Dazai and the rest of the agency– or most of them.”

Chuuya hummed “That’s quite the interesting story.” He slowly pulled away from the hug and held his hands up “don’t give me that glare, Ryuu let me hug my son-in-law.”

“Son-in-law?” Atsushi looked up, looking between the two of them, Chuuya coughing violently as if he had said something he shouldn’t have.

Akutagawa smiled bitterly “The food arrived when I did, shall we eat?” He held up three bags of hot food, which he had just received from the front door. The black haired man walked over, starting to unpack everything onto the table in front of the other two males.

“I’m sorry, I’ll move is you want to sit next to Chuuya-san—”

“Weretiger, all you have to do is stand up once I’m done unpacking the food and sit back down when I tell you to.” Akutagwawa said with a more gentle smile. “Do you understand?”

“Yes..” he squeaked, cheeks flushing a bit more, only this time he wasn’t embarrassed. 

Chuuya sighed, crossing his arms. “He is not sitting on your lap, Ryuu. You’ll kill the poor boy if you make him do that.”

Akutagawa hummed, looking up at his adoptive father. “He is a lap cat.”

Atsushi whined, cheeks still flushed. “No, I’m a tiger.”

“Tigers are large cats, which makes them cats.” Ryunosuke argused back, a pout starting to form on his face “and the weretiger is my boyfriend, I’m allowed to give him affection.”

“And I’m allowed to remove your weekends off.” Chuuya hummed, a small smile on his face. “I do not wish for my son-in-law to have a gay panic and pass out before he can eat.” 

“Yes mama.” Akutagwa said with a roll of his eyes, Chuuya was very much more of a mother then a father but he didn’t mind, he made him happy to know that someone cared that much about him. He was happy to know that Chuuya was proud of him and cared enough to baby him over a single cut, unlike Dazai, but he wasn’t obsessed with getting recognition anymore. 

He has four people who love him and praise him more than anyone else. His two adorable little sisters, his adoptive father and his beloved boyfriend. He didn't need Dazai’s recognition or praise anymore, he already had all he needed. “Sushi, open your mouth.” he grumbled, using hsi chopsticks to pick up some food, watching the white-haired boy open his mouth confusingly before having food shoved into his throat.

Chuuya hummed “If only Miyo and Gin were here..” he whispered softly, then it would be a full family lunch– minus Dazai. Chuuya shook his head and looked at Akutagawa “be careful, you could choke him if you do that without warning again.”

“Sorry..” Akutagawa muttered, crossing his arms, he was trying his best but was sadly failing in all categories of ‘cutestie boyfriend’. However Atsushi didn't seem to mind it at all.

The rest of lunch was quiet with gentle banter between the three of them, Chuuya ignoring Dazai’s texts.

Chapter Text

||In the Nakahaha family Chat||

Miyo has sent a voice message
“I don’t wanna be here..” You could hear sniffling and crying though the message. “The other kids are mean!”

Mama: Darling, tell me what happened, your elder siblings and I will handle it.

Ryuu-ani: I’m going to grab my coat.

Gin-ane: I’m already on my way.

Miyo has sent a voice message
“One of the boys hit me, they said that the blindfold oba-san made me looks stupid!”

Oba-san: I shall come as well, I just need to put my hair up.

Mama: I’m on my way. Are you bleeding?

Miyo has sent a voice message
“N-No blood but my leg is twisted, it hurts a lot!” 

Mama: Ane-san, can you message Yason-san and ask if she's available to check over Miyo after I pick her up?

Oba-san: I’m at the agency now.
Oba-san: Yes, I’m able to Chuuya-san, bring Miyo in when you can. (This is Yasano)

Mama: Thank you Yasano-san.
Mama: Miyo, Baby. Meet me in front of the school.

Gin-ane: I’m already here, I’m sitting with her now.

Ryuu-ani: How is her leg?

Gin-ane: it's probably broken, it looks pussy and purple.

Oba-san: Yasano-san has her room ready.

Mama: I’m here, Gin get her in the car
Mama: Tell Yosano We’re on our way

Oba-san: Will do,

Chapter Text

||In the ‘Experiments’ chat||

Miyo sent a voice message
“Are you two coming to school tomorrow?”

As1 sent a voice message
“We’ll try, we don’t know if we can since we’re being hunted down”

Miyo sent a voice message
“I’ll ask mama if you can stay the night!”

As1 sent a voice message
“You don’t have to do that, Miyo-chan..”

Miyo sent a voice message
“I want to.” 

As1 sent a voice message
“Only if it's not too big of a deal, if Mr. Chuuya says yes then we’ll meet him at the edge of the forest..”

||In the Nakahaha family Chat||

Miyo sent a voice message
“Mama, can my friends have a sleepover tonight?”

Mama: sure
Mama: Wait–
Mama: What friends?

Ryuu-ani: Who are these ‘friends’?

Gin-ane: Are we sure they’re your friends?

Oba-san: Gin, Ryuu, please calm down. I can see you both getting ready to murder someone.

Miyo sent a voice message
“Don’t hurt them!” you could hear the sadness in her voice, she was probably crying while reading everyone's reactions. “They've been my friends for six years!”

Mama: Baby, you’ve only been out of that lab for a year–
Mama: oh god.

Ryuu-ani: They were in the lab with her?
Ryuu-ani: Did they run away the same time you did?

Miyo sent a voice message
“They did, we got separated in the forest though, and found them when we went to school.”

Oba-san: Do they have a family now?

Miyo sent a voice message
“No..”

Mama: Okay, fine.
Mama: They can stay the night, after I’ll send them to an orphanage.

Miyo sent a voice message
“No, As2 is scared of big groups of people..”

Mama: Okay, we can talk about this later, do you want to tell me where they are so I can pick them up?

Miyo sent a voice message
“In a forest close to the bad end of town..”

Mama: Okay, I’ll pick them up, Ane-san, will you come with me?

Oba-san: I will.

||In the ‘Experiments’ chat||

Miyo sent a voice message
“Mama and Oba-san are coming to get you both!”

As1 sent a voice message
“Are you sure it's okay? We’re dirty and icky..”

Miyo sent a voice message
“I’m sure! Mama will love you no matter what!”

As1 sent a voice message
“Okay.. We’ll wait at the start of the tree line.”

Chapter Text

Chuuya sighed, pulling over to the side of the road, shaking his head. He couldn’t say no to his daughter that just wasn’t something he was able to do. Chuuya opened the door, smiling at Kōyō who seemed quite pleased to be able to come along. “Ane-san, can you see the kids?”

The woman hummed, looking among the trees “I was given a description of them both, one is a girl with brown hair and red eyes while the other is a boy with gold eyes and white hair.” The woman stated calmly, stepping onto the grass beside Chuuya. “I believe they're hiding from something.”

Chuuya nodded and scanned the tree line again “what if they ran into some trouble?” Chuuya muttered, watching as nothing moved. “Should we go in?”

“No, give it a minute.” Kōyō said gently, watching the treeline, humming softly. Slowly two children emerged, one boy and one girl. They were wearing torn clothing which had likely been stolen off someone's clothes line due to how oversized the shirts and shorts were on the small children. Chuuya’s eyes widened and his expression dulled.

“They’re injured..” Chuuya muttered, watching the boy help his sister limp over to them, the boy's sister was practically laying on him. Chuuya walked forward and crouched, a soft smile on his face. “Hello there, are you As1 and As2?”

The boy nodded silently, the girl holding her hand in front of her throat, Chuuya found it odd but didn’t seem to worry “want a bandage for your neck?”

The girl nodded, watching as Kōyō opened the back door of the car, the long sleeves of her kimono dropping down and making what seemed to be a wall between the car and the street. Slowly Chuuya ushered the children into the car, getting a medical kit out and pulling out the bandages, wrapping the girls neck without looking at what she was holding, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

The girl patted his hand as a thank you then curled up with her brother in the back seat as the door closed, Chuuya and Kōyō getting into the car and sighing quietly. “They have the codes on the back of their necks like Miyo, they were actually in the lab with her.” Chuuya mumbled, starting the car. “Are you two hungry?” he called softly over his shoulder.

The boy, As1 nodded “yes..” he looked like he was struggling to get out what he wanted to say “but you don’t have to feed us, you don’t have even bring us home with you if you don’t want to..” he said, looking up and making eye contact with Chuuya in the rearview mirror. 

“You’re Miyo’s friends, you’re having a sleepover tonight. I am going to feed you and give you both a bath and new clothes.” Chuyya hummed, starting to drive, Kōyō watched the children in the back with soft eyes.

“Should I take them in?” She asked softly.

Chuuya shook his head “they have biological parents, we just need their files to introduce them to them.” He said gently, continuing to drive, watching the road.

Kōyō nodded with a small sigh and faced the front again. “They have quite the unique appearance. White hair and gold eyes while the other has brown hair and red eyes. It shouldn’t be that hard to find out who their biological parents are.”

Chuuya hummed “they could be Dazai’s kids.” Chuuya suggested.

“No, her hair is too dark to be Dazai’s genes.” Kōyō said with a hum, looking ahead. “Maybe they used hunting dog dna like they used yours and Dazai’s to make strong children.” The woman didn’t mention the weapons the children were originally made to be.

“And what hunting dog has white hair— you know what. That could be a possibility Jouno Saigiku could be part of their biology, the white hair and all. Do you know what his eye colour is?” Chuuya asked, from his knowledge no one knew what colour Jounos' eyes were.

 “If we’re going off the childrens looks I would say he has red eyes.” The woman said, humming softly as she turned up the radio slightly so they could have the faint sound of music in the car. “We’re almost back to your apartment, yes? Shall we pick up Miyo from Ryuus on the way?”

Chuuya hummed “I was planning on it, I’m sure she will be happy to see them both.” he said gently, a smile on his face.

*****

Miyo got placed in the car with her friends and tackled them in a hug instantly, Akutagawa looked at the two random children then at Chuuya with an expression. “Are they..?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you what I know later.” Chuuya said, getting ready to drive again “Tomorrow.” Ryunosuke nodded and closed the door to the back of the car, Chuuya driving off and heading home.

*****

That night the three children were bathed by Chuuya, the ginger doing his best to clean the two new friends and treat any injuries. “There we go..” he hummed as he pulled them out of the bath, wrapping the two siblings up in a fluffy towel each. It was evident one wasn’t able to see. 

The boy, As1, has short, white hair and golden eyes. The boy was struggling to see what was around him apparently. Chuuya didn’t mention it. The girl had bright, red eyes and deep brown hair, her face shoved into the towel. Chuuya had found out what the girl had been hiding in her neck, a hole.

He helped dry the kids and get them dressed, taking them to the living room where he had moved his mattress for the three to sleep on (he would be joining them since it was his mattress). Chuuya hummed, looking at the three kids. “Who wants pizza?”

Miyo raised her hand with a smile, the two other kids simply stared at him confusingly. Chuuya had to explain what pizza was to Miyo before so this was fine. “Pizza is a dish of Italian origin consisting of a usually round, flat base of leavened wheat-based dough topped with tomatoes, cheese, and often various other ingredients.” Chuuya explained simply, watching the two children nod. He was going to get a range of pizzas now just so the kids could try them.

Miyo made her friends lay down, laying between them and holding onto their hands “I’ve missed you too..”

The girl, As2 smiled and tapped gently on the palm of Miyo’s hand. I missed you too, Miyo-chan.

The boy nodded “I missed you as well.”

Chuuya walked into the room after making the call, raising a brow. “Going to sleep already? We haven’t even had dinner yet.”

“Not tired, just.. Together.” The boy said, Chuuya nodded in understanding and laid next to the three children, an arm over the three.

“Then I’ll join you.”

*****

When the pizza arrived, Dazai also showed up, barging in and making himself at home, Chuuya didn’t care, simply making sure the children were fed before he even let Dazai near the Pizza boxes. “Chibi~ I’m hungry! You have to be nice to your boyfriend!”

Chuuya hummed, looking over at him and sticking his tongue out, when around the children, that was equivalent to dipping him off. Dazai gasped, “Do you no longer love me!?”

“Shut up, I have kids to feed.”

“ Kids? As in more than one?” Dazai’s eyes widened as he peeked into the living room to see two extra children, his heart dropping. “Are you cheating on me, Chuuya!?”

“What?” Chuuya looked at Dazai, very confused. “No?”

“Why are there more kids then!?”

“They’re Miyo’s friends, they’re having a sleepover. Will you calm the fuck down, Dazai?” Chuuya was unimpressed, glad he wasn’t in the same room as the kids when the swear word slipped out of his mouth.

“Oh.. am I not allowed to go in?”

“Not until they’ve eaten.” Chuuya shook his head, he wasn’t happy Dazai had come in without asking but he would put up with it for now. Dazai stood and wrapped his arms around Chuuya’s waist. “What are you doing?”

“Hugging you, am I not allowed to?” Dazai hummed, pulling Chuuya to his chest with a small smile. Chuuya gently placed his hands on Dazai’s with a small smile of his own.

“You are, just don’t let the kids see, you might scare them with your affection.” Chuuya hummed, ignoring the flush building up on his cheeks. “Why are you here?”

“Ane-san said you might need some help, didn’t know she meant you were taking care of three kids.” Dazai hummed, face shoved into the top of Chuuyas hair.

“Ah, and you didn’t bother to call or text me that you were coming over?”

“Nope, I wanted to surprise you and Miyo~”

Chuuya sighed and shook his head with a small smile. “Come on, time for you to say hi.” Chuuya pulled away and walked into the living room, Dazai following behind.

The girl looked up, stood and rushed over “Dad!” she called with a smile and hugged Dazai’s leg, then ran off to drag her friends over to introduce them, it was going to be a very long night tonight.”

Chapter Text

||In the family chat||

Miyo added As1
Miyo added As2

Mama: Miyo, darling, who are these?

Miyo sent a voice message
“My friends!”

Oba-san: How sweet, may I know their names?

As2: Our names are our usernames.

Ryuu-ani: Is this a five year old?

As2: Yes

Gine-ane: You type like you’re an adult–

As2: Shhh, don’t question it.

As1 sent a voice message
“She’s the only one able to write.”

Miyo sent a voice message
“Yea..” there was a pause “she’s so cool! And she's the youngest out of us!”

Mama: You three are meant to be at school.

As2: My brother and I are hiding, some men in red uniforms are hunting us down.

Poop: I’m sorry, the hunting dogs are after you?

As1 sent a voice message
“Yes, I believe so.”

Mama: Why??

As2: I think it's because we look like a mix between two of them or it's because my brother killed someone.

Yosa-oba: He killed someone?

As2: It was an old man, he touched my but.

Mama: That is a very reasonable reaction to that man.

Oba-san: Shall we fine you two and bring you to the mafia for protection?

As2: I don’t think they’re actual dogs, they haven’t sniffed us out yet, they’re fighting between each other. One is eating a hard boiled egg with its shell on, the other appears to be blind and angry at the other's choice of food.

Poop: ahhhh
Poop: Jouno and Tecchou have come for these children.
Poop: The brains and the brawn of the hunting dogs

Mama: No, they are not actual dogs, you needn't worry about them barking.

As2: The blind one seems to be looking at us, I’m going offline.

As2 and As1 are offline.
Poop has changed his name.

Dad: Anyways, now that my name is fixed lets get on with this.
Dad: Why are the hunting dogs after As1 and As2?

Mama: They escaped from a lab, like Miyo did. That has to be part of it..

Oba-san: Yes, that is part. Maybe it's because they have the dna of those two hunting dogs inside them?

Mama: The boy did have white hair that matched Jouno’s and the girl had brown hair to match Tecchous, The boy's eyes match Techhous.

Oji-Kunna: The only issue is if the girl's eyes match Jounos.

Mama: She has red eyes, I’m not sure if Jouno has red eyes.

Yosa-ane: He might, he might have albinism or something.

Mama: But does that give a person red eyes?

Yosa-ane: No, it just makes it look like it does in certain lighting so it might be a recessive gene or something instead.

Oji-Kunna: Now, how the hell do we get those kids out of there?

As1 is online

As1: Good evening everyone, this is Jouno Saigiku and Tecchou Suehiro, may we know why you are blowing up the phone of a person wanted for murder?

Mama: Shit–

Dad: No swearing in this chat, remember?

As1: Oh god, what is with all of these names?
As1: I won't be able to tell who is who.

Mama: May I know why you think these children have murdered someone?

Oba-san: Your accusations are quite over the top.

Dad: Last time I checked these two kids were at school.

Candy man: The whole reason you two are hunting the children down is because you know what they are, right that's the only explanation because the government wouldn’t have sent the kids biological parents out to look for them even if they were made in a test tube.

Mama: Since when were you here!?

Candy man: The beginning but I didn’t find it necessary to talk to you lot while I was talking to Poe.

As1: I-
As1: How did you know about that?”

Mama: My daughter is the same.

As1: Ah, then would you happen to know where the kids are?

Mama: I have no idea.

Oba-san: I got to them before you two got the phone.

As1: Ah, are they under your protection then, ‘Oba-san’?

Oba-san: Yes.

As1: May I know why you’re protecting children who are not yours?

Candy man: She adopts every child she can.

Mama: She's got motherly instincts.

As1: I see,
As1: Shall we organise a meetup so there is no violence while we talk?

Dad: We can organise it for tomorrow in the cafe under the ADA

As1: Ah, so these are members of the armed detective agency?

Mama: And another group but you find that out later.

As1: Very well. I will not worry for now.
As1: I believe they won't be harmed

Mama: The twins will not be harmed, do not worry.

As1: Very well.
As1: I shall trust you for now, however I wish to be added to this chat via my own mobile, as well as my partner.

Mama: Right, you're blind, how are you typing and reading?

As1: I’ve had something implanted in my mind that is allowing me to ‘see’ as a sort, it's all sent to my mind in images so it's like seeing, I’m able to ‘see’ though my shut eyes.

Dad: I see, very well. That is quite interesting.

Mama: I swear if we end up having the rat and the clown join this group chat as well because they had a child or more then one in the same factor as Miyo As1 and As2 I’ll have a breakdown.

Candy man: Would you like me to tell you how likely that will happen?

Mama: No.
Mama: Go get a science baby with your boyfriend.

Candy man: ….
Candy man: I quite like that idea, I shall go call Poe now.

As1: Is this chat really child friendly?

Dad: There's a few rules from ‘Mama’ I shall resend them.

1) No swearing
2) No fighting
3) No arguing
4) No suggestive content

We have a separate chat for all of that~

Mama: I will change your name back to ‘ppop’, Dazai

Dad: I’m sorry!!!

As1: I’m going to go make sure Tecchou isn’t overworking himself again, this chat is strange.

Mama: You hunting down five year olds isn't?

As1: Shut up please.

Oba-san: I have children to take care of, please stop blowing up my phone.

|| Oji-Kunna has muted the chat for three hours ||

Chapter Text

Chuuya, Miyo, As1, As2, Dazai and Kōyō sat inside a booth in the cafe, waiting for the two hunting dogs to show up. Chuuya was in his normal work outfit, the jacket, vest, hat and the whole shabang. The mini Chuuya sitting on his lap wore the same outfit, her arms crossed over her chest.

Miyo refused to leave the house without matching Chuuya so here they were, Miyo being ‘mama’s girl’ and breaking Dazai’s heart. Dazai was wearing his casual clothes, his tanned trench coat having been thrown over Chuuyas shoulders instead of the ginger's normal black jacket.

Dazai laid his head on Chuuyas shoulder, calling over a waitress so they could get something to drink while they waited. Kōyō smiled and shook her head, the two twins in her lap sat silently, hidden by her sleeves as if they were asleep. 

“What can I get you four today?” The waitress asked, her voice gentle and kind, though she was confused as to Dazai’s relationship with the ginger male. The woman got ready to write it down in her notepad. It wasn’t a busy day in the cafe so she wouldn’t need much to remember their orders; she was only doing this for formality.

Chuuya hummed “A milkshake and a cup of coffee.” He said, closing his eyes and leaning back against the back of the chair, the child in his lap mimicking his every move, she nodded in agreement.

“Strawberry milkshake.” She tried to mimic Chuuyas voice as well but that didn’t work, however she was proud of herself. The lady nodded, writing down the order, hoping not to get the ‘coffee’ wrong under the mafia executives' taste.

“I’ll have my normal~” Dazai said with a smile, his arm wrapping around Chuuyas shoulders, he seemed quite attached to the ginger haired man.

“And for you ma’am?” The waitress looked over at Kōyō who was gently playing with the childrens hair.

“Two glasses of water please.” She said gently, getting a nod in reply, the waitress seemed quite confused today. “Now, how long are we going to wait for those dogs?” She asked bitterly, glaring at the door. Her white pink and red faded kimono was replaced with a black one, just to hide the two children better.

“They’ll be here soon, Ane-san.” Dazai hummed, a smile on his face “do not worry about it.” Just as Dazai finished speaking the door opened and the two hunting dogs walked in, not in their uniforms.

Jouno was wearing a white shirt and some long pants– likely jeans. While Tecchou was wearing a black shirt and chinos, they were matching in colour for the most part. Jouno was holding onto Tecchous arm as if he didn’t already know his way around this place and needed a guide.

“So they’re dating.” Chuuya hummed and smiled as the two men sat across from the three children and adults. “Hello, hunting dogs.”

“Hello Nakahara, I’ll assume the mini you in your lap is your child, yes?” Jouno greeted, seeming slightly concerned when it came to the child who was dressed up as Chuuya.

“She’s a mama’s girl.” Dazai said simply, shrugging as he ignored the look of confusion he got for Tecchou. 

“We don’t know much about their creation even if we are working with the government, would you please fill us in on how they were actually created?” Jouno asked, sitting forward, elbows on the table.

Kōyō stood, both of the twins in her arms “Princess Nakahara, please come with me.” She said, slowly Miyo pulled herself away from Chuuya and off the seat, moving to a different booth temporarily.

“Why did they move?” Tecchou asked, seeming confused by the situation.

“This isn’t a topic for them to hear.” Dazai said simply, leaning back and putting his hand on Chuuya’s thigh. “Do you want to explain it?”

Chuuya sighed, left eye twitching “sure.” He sat forward, Dazai’s coat falling off his shoulders. “You should know the basics, they were made in a laboratory to be used as a team to take out any power hungry hunting dogs.”’ Chuuya said, watching the table. A coffee mug was placed in front of him and a drink in front of Dazai.

Dazai nodded, watching Chuuya sip his coffee. “Any questions?”

“ How exactly were they created?” Jouno asked, his smile twisting with curiosity.

“They used an egg from someone who ‘donated’ it to them, using your dna and a few failed attempts of turning the eggs dna into one that would accept yours was a success.” Dazai hummed, clearly amused by Tecchou’s slight reaction. “Once the egg had become ‘yours’ you’d be the mother, like how Chuuya is.”

Chuuya kicked dazai’s leg under the table “Shut up, will you?”

Dazai laughed softly “but he is still completely male even if the child came from ‘his egg’.” Dazai said, clearly somewhat happy about him and Chuuya having a child. “However it's different for you two, I have no idea who the mother is but I’ll guess it's Jouno.”

Jouno seemed irritated by the guess and said nothing, simply listening to the explanation being given. “Then they would need someone's sperm to attach to the egg.”

Dazai hummed “that's why they leave it in a small box or something for a few days then pull it out and let it ‘incubate’ in an environment similar to a womb, feeling it and making sure it's kept alive. They can see through the glass just how exactly the child grows and how much they need to feed the child, it's quite amazing.”

“When I saw the room she was created in I almost cried.” Dazai hummed. “It just goes to show you how much pain those kids went through even during creation.”

Jouno nodded slowly “so what about my an Tecchou’s children, they came from different eggs, right?”

Chuuya deadpanned “Do you not know how twins are made?” He shook his head, sighing. He would explain it then. “It depends on what type of twins they are, identical twins, fraternal twins, conjoined twins.”

He sipped his coffee again. “Identical twins are made when one egg is fertilised and splits in half, fraternal twins are when two eggs get fertilised and they're in the same sack.” Chuuya said simply, continuing to speak. “Conjoined twins happen when the egg splits in half but isn’t completely detached from its other half.”

“Chuuya! I never imagined you’d know so much about twins!” Dazai cooed, looking at his boyfriend with stars in his eyes.

“I did a bit of research after I met the twins,” he muttered. “I have come to the conclusion that they are Identical twins, only different in a way?” Chuuya shook his head. “They’re Identical twins in the sense they came from the same egg however other than that they are fraternal twins.”

“How does that work?” Tecchou asked, still highly confused with the situation, this was making his head hurt.

“I have no idea, I stayed up all night thinking about it myself.” Chuuya mumbled “it just hurt my head. Maybe the lab did something or some shit so they wouldn’t get confused?”

“That is likely.” Tecchou nodded in agreement.

Dazai nodded “maybe, oh well.” He leaned back, sipping his own drink “Any other questions?”

“How did they get our dna?” Tecchou asked, tilting his head.

Jouno sighed. “The government has our dna and probably got one of our sperm during a checkup or something..”

Dazai smiled and nodded “yes, that's probably how it happened.” he smiled “Have I already placed a bet on who the mother is between the two of you?”

Chuuya nodded. “You guessed it to be Jouno. About three minutes ago.” Chuuya sipped his coffee, clearly he no longer wanted to be here. “Any other questions?”

“ Why were they made?” Jouno asked, leaning forward, it was like he already knew the answer and just wanted confirmation. “Why our dna?”

“They were made using your dna because you’re the strongest and smartest of the hunting dogs.” Dazai said with a smile. “They thought that would be a good combination.”

Chuuya hummed “as for why they were created..?” He asked quietly, looking into his cup of coffee. “It's because the government wanted a team to be made just to take down the hunting dogs in case they got power hungry.”

“They tortured and abused them because they wanted to have a five year old on a battlefield to take out any hunting dog if needed, it was quite horrible reading about it in Miyo’s file.” Chuuya said, sipping more of his coffee, Dazais thumb rubbing Chuuya’s thigh gently, to comfort him.

Jouno gasped slightly and Tecchou tensed. It was something hard to get their heads around. “So the twins, our kids were made to kill us?”

“Yes.”

“Originally they were, but after escaping from the lab they hadn’t taken a life and refused to even think about the lab.” Dazai said quietly, sipping his drink, simply finishing it all in one go. “The pages about the punishment made me vomit, personally. Chuuya cried for like five hours after reading it.”

Chuuya sighed and nodded “it was six hours, actually.”

Jouno hummed “What is this ‘punishment’?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Chuuya said, standing up, taking his cup and Dazais jacket with him. “I’m going over to ane-san and the kids if you talk about this.” Dazai moved out of the way so Chuuya could get out, then turned back to the two hunting dogs.

Dazai sighed gently and nodded, he knew this would make Chuuya throw up if they spoke of it in front of him, the ginger had thrown up after reading about it and seeing photos. “It's not just a punishment, it's… torture.” Dazai said gently. He, himself found this ‘punishment’ to be disgusting and it made him want to throw his guts out a window.

“Okay.” Jouno said calmly, taking a breath, he clearly didn’t think it would be that bad. 

Dazai took a breath, hands shaking in his lap as his mind ran over the pages of the file he had memorised last night with Chuuya. “The punishment is something they would be given to them for acting like normal kids. They would be put into these metal rooms and tied down onto the floor, not allowed to move.” 

Dazai gagged on his words, so far the punishment didn't sound so bad, right? Just wait for the next part. Jouno hummed again with Tecchou rolled his eyes at Jounos behaviour. “It doesn't sound that bad.” Jouno said.

Dazai shook his head “I haven’t finished yet.”

Tecchous blood froze, something in his gut told him he didn't want to know. Dazai spoke again, Tecchous blood running cold. “They would be cut open and their organs would be removed and put into bowls of warm water, still attached to them and functioning. If they moved, they would die.”

Tecchou gagged, a hand covering his mouth like he was about to vomit while his gold eyes went wide. Jouno froze, just all together froze, lips parted in horrified shock. “Oh my god…”

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Tecchou muttered, eyes watering.

Dazai nodded. “Chuuya vomited five times when he first heard about it.” he said, trying to make Tecchou feel better but that didn't seem to work. As the man just rushed off to the toilets to vomit, Jouno was still frozen in shock.

Chapter Text

||In the ass-class 2.0 Chat||

Tigress: The task has been successfully accomplished, fulfilling its purpose with utmost precision and finesse.

Nine-Tail: Thank you, Victoria. You may go rest now.

(9:30am, Monday 16/9)

Today

Demon: Mum.

Nine-Tail: Yes, Mena?

Demon: I found out Jouno and Tecchou of the HD Unit are meeting with an ADA member and a few PM members.

Tigress:  Does any concern arise regarding the pastimes engaged in by the hunting dogs during their leisure hours?

Tigress: During your leisure hours, you indulge in the captivating pursuit of observing Tachihara of the hunting canines, under the guise of being enamoured with his presence.

Demon: I do love him!

Nine-Tail: Both of you, that is enough.

Demon: Okay mum

Tigress: Certainly, dear mother.

Fire-bird: Could you provide some context for what is occurring?

Tigress: Mena's vexation intensifies as she witnesses the frivolous pursuits of Jouno Saigiku and Tecchou Suehiro, the hunting dogs, during their leisure hours. I, however, perceive their actions as utterly preposterous.

Demon: Victoria! 

Nine-Tail: I’m going to Milla, I can’t handle you two anymore.

Nine-Tail is offline

Fire-bird: Is Mena obsessing over trivial matters like this once more?

Demon: I do not fuss over things like this all the time and it is not a ‘trivial matter’! It's important! They’re meeting with an armed detectives agency member and two port mafia members!!

Fire-bird: Deca, those individuals are not affiliated with our unit. It would be best if you let go of the matter and refrain from creating unnecessary conflict over such a trivial issue.

Tigress: I concur with Devana's viewpoint on this matter. It is not within our purview to meddle in this affair, hence we should refrain from interfering.

Demon: Oh come on, are you not curious about what it is about?

Tigress: Most certainly not.

Fire-bird: Absolutely not.

Demon: Is this why you go out drinking together?
Demon: Because you’re both useless unless drunk?

Tigress: Deca, I implore you to retract your words immediately, lest I am compelled to relieve you of your sight.

Fire-bird: I urge you to reconsider your words, Deca, unless you want to experience the burning consequences that await you.

Demon: Geeze, fine. I take it back.

Tigress: Regrettably, I must take my leave as I am obliged to embark upon a noble quest that requires my immediate attention.

Tigress is offline

Demon: Why does she call jobs ‘noble quest’es or whatever?

Fire-bird: I'm sorry that you are not acquainted with the eloquence of luxury.

Demon: oh yea, what do you speak then? Academic?

Fire-bird: My linguistic skills are specifically tailored to formal communication.

Demon: I hate this.

Demon is offline

Fire-bird: How amusing

Fire-bird is offline

Chapter Text

Chuuya walked over with the twins, both holding onto his hands while glaring at each other they seemed to be fighting over Chuuya. They had taken a liking to Chuuya within the past 24 hours or so. “Jouno, Tecchou, This is As1 and As2.” Chuuya said, pushing each child forward to the two men. 

As1, the boy just watched them, tilting his head to the side. His white hair matched Jounos while his gold eyes matched Tecchous. The girl, As2 had brown hair and pigmented red eyes, a mix of Jouno and Tecchou, however the red eyes might have just been from a dna malfunction in the lab since no one knows what colour eyes Jouno has. 

Jouno hummed, letting the children come to him so he wouldn’t scare the children away from him. Slowly As2 walked towards him, looking him over before grabbing his hand, slowly writing ‘hi’ on his palm with her finger. Jouno smiled weakly. “Hello..” he said softly.

The girl looked up at him, tilting her head a bit, she was unsure of what to do next. As1 however just clung to Chuuya. “Who’s he?”

Chuuya smiled gently at the boy. “He is one of your dads.” he said softly, rubbing the boy's head, seeming slightly upset now he had to give away two of the children, Chuuya had gotten attached quite quickly.

Dazai stood behind Chuuya, hugging him around the waist, giving him a small amount of comfort. “Go say hi, kiddo.” Dazai said with a smile, his chin resting atop Chuuya’s head. As1 slowly walked over to Tecchou instead of Jouno and shook the man's hand, apparently he liked the man who spoke rarely more than Jouno, maybe it's because the stronger presence felt safer.

Chuuya looked up at the two hunting dogs. “As1 is blind.” 

Both Jouno and Tecchou looked at him with wide eyes, jouno’s eyes were still shut however his expression was one of shock. “He is? Was he born blind?”

“No.” Dazai said weakly. “His file said that he had his pupils cut, they let him go blind as a punishment.” Dazai hummed and looked at the boy. “Yet he still protects his sister efficiently, it's quite amazing.

Jouno nodded slowly. “And the girl? She can’t speak?”

Chuuya nodded. “Correct, she had her voice box removed.” he said weakly, looking at the back of the small girl's head. “She asked for a stuffed animal and it was removed.” He looked like he was going to cry, these children had been through too much and it hurt Chuuya’s heart.

“Oh god..” Jouno muttered and bent down, picking the girl up in his arms and hugging her close to his chest, head resting atop the childs. “We’ll have to make sure there's no chances of infections or anything..”

Chuuya smiled weakly. “They have three abilities between the two of them.” he said gently.

 “As1 has the ability called ‘Siren’s scales’ his ability when activated a selected part of his body is covered in scales which is indestructible, he can move these scales around his body and into his sisters but that is about all he can do other than make full body armour.” Chuuya explained, taking a breath before continuing. “He can make his scales into weapons as well, however he and his sister are the only ones able to hold them.”

Jouno nodded slowly, taking in the information given to him with a slight amused expression. The boy's ability was nothing similar to his or Tecchous however that would make sense considering no one can have the same ability and that the child was made in a lab. “And As2’s?”

Dazai smiled, nodding his head. He would explain it this time. “As2’s ability is called Siren’s song.”

Tecchou raised a brow “how can she use her ability? It sounds like it's a verbal one.”

“It is.” Chuuya nodded and relaxed against Dazais chest more, As2 was holding onto Jouno, seeming about to fall asleep. “ Her ability adapted to this change instantly and gives her a temporary voice box for her to use her ability.” Chuuya explained, closing his eyes, this encounter was exhausting him already.

Dazai went on to finish the explanation on her ability. “As2 has an ability that is only activated when she sings. Depending on the song/melody its effect is different. What happens around her depends on what song/melody she sings which could be targeting herself or someone else.” He said, simplifying it to a large extent.

“So different songs or melodies have different effects?” Tecchou asked. “So she could heal people, make force fields and harm others, depending on the tune or lyrics of a song?”

“Yes.” Dazai said with a smile, kissing the top of Chuuya’s head. “She might even be one of the strongest ability users out there.”

Chuuya hummed. “There is a fourth child, I’m not sure who they are or where they are but I hope we find them so they can stay together. Apparently he is like a brother to Miyo.” Chuuya said weakly, looking down at his hands, hoping nothing bad would happen to the missing child.

Chapter Text

{{Putting this here since it wouldn't've fit in the chapter summary lol.    Just to be clear. My friend dared me to make this chapter and I planned to do it later on, however I decided that I should do it now since it might give me a well needed boost of motivation to even start my English assessment. It was due last week. I only plan on doing it and handing it in so I don't get in trouble. This will not be exactly like the meme either, due to how Victoria and Devana speak.}}

||In the ass-class 2.0 Chat||

Demon: I hate this.

Demon is offline

Fire-bird: How amusing

Fire-bird is offline

(12pm Tuesday 17/9)

(Today)

Tigress: Who, pray tell, is the culprit responsible for shattering this delicate artefact?

Demon: Not again–

Tigress: I am not infuriated, I simply yearn to acquire knowledge.

Siren: I did, I broke it

Tigress: Alas, you did not, my dear.
Tigress: Mena?

Demon: Don’t look at me.
Demon: Look at Dev

Fire-bird: I am not at fault for its breakage.

Demon: Huh..
Demon: That's weird.
Demon: How did you even know it was broken?

Fire-bird: Due to its placement directly in front of us and its malfunction, it is evident that the object is broken.

Demon: Suspicious 

Fire-bird: That statement is incorrect.
Fire-bird: It is unlikely to matter, but it is worth noting that Lunna was the most recent user of it.

Nine-tail: Lair, I don’t even drink that crap.

Demon: Oh really?
Demon: Then what were you doing by the coffee machine earlier?

Nine-tail: I used the wooden spoons to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that. Deca.

Siren: Okay, Okay, let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it.

Tigress: Regrettably, the answer remains negative. Pray tell, who is the culprit responsible for the unfortunate mishap?

Demon: Tori, Milla has been awfully quiet.

Nine-tail: Oh really!?

Fire-bird: Milla should be excluded from this matter as she lacks the courage to cause any harm.

||You are now private messaging Jouno||

Jouno: Tori, what have you done this time?

Victoria: I have inadvertently initiated a conflict within my esteemed battalion.

Jouno: Why?

Victoria:  In a regrettable turn of events, I inadvertently shattered the exquisite coffee pot, causing an unfortunate mishap that resulted in a searing pain engulfing my delicate hand. Overwhelmed by the anguish, I instinctively unleashed a forceful blow upon the ill-fated object, seeking solace in the release of my frustration.

Jouno: Of course you did.

Victoria: I foresee that in a mere ten minutes, they shall find themselves engaged in a fierce conflict, their countenances marred by the anguish of war, and a triumphant visage displayed upon a prominent pike.

Jouno: And why did you do this? 

Victoria: The atmosphere in this place was becoming excessively familiar.

Jouno: I should have known. 😪
Jouno: Just don’t let them kill each other.

Victoria: I regret to inform you that I am unable to make such a commitment.

Jouno: God damn it Victoria.

Chapter Text

||In the experiment gc||

Oni: Who did it?

Mara: Did what?

Siren: Is Haru crying?

Snow White: I’m not.

Oni: Someone threw out my food.

Mara: shouldn’t you be asking your parents?

Oni: They went out to get me more.

Snow White: Then was it that weird uncle of yours?

Oni: The three year old in an adult man's body?
Oni: Maybe…

Oni has gone offline

Siren: Don't kill anyone

Snow White: We know they will.

Mara: I think I can hear Ju yelling from the port…

Siren: We can hear him here too, so much for the government being able to block any sound.

Snow White: Mhmm.

Oni is online

Oni: He wasn't Sigma.
Oni: He's like a human disease or something, I think that's what his name means. Anyways, apparently the food jumped out the window itself.

Mara: Ahhh so it was a live human
Mara: That makes sense now.

Snow White: Yea, Ju, don't eat off the floor.

Oni: I won't

Siren: we all know you would if Fyodor wasn't overprotective.

Oni: Dad is not overprotective.

Mara: Even my mama doesn't eat a bite of my food before every meal to make sure it won't kill me

Oni: …

Snow White: Ju.

Oni: Fine, whatever.

Siren: I heard that you're moving into Yokohama, is that true?

Oni: Yea

Mara: Yesssss!!

Oni: Yes, I will be going to the same school as you, Miyo.

Snow White: …

Snow White has gone offline

Oni: What's he doing?

Siren: No idea.

Mara: Don't ask me.

Snow White is online

Snow White: We’re moving to Yokohama too. ^^

Mara: Wow!

Siren: We are!!?

Snow White: Yes.

Oni: Woo!

Siren has gone offline

Mara: What did you do, Haru?

Snow White: Nothing

Oni: Why would Haru have done something?

Siren is online

Siren: He is the reason we’re now suddenly moving.

Mara: Lol

Oni: Is that a problem?

Siren: No.
Siren: Just means you guys get to cuddle again.

Chapter Text

||In the ‘Alliance’ chat||

Sushi_roll: Hey, can I like, add someone to this chat?

Dazais_Bottom: Go ahead, I don’t see why not.

Ryuu: Is this the girl you’ve been talking about for the past week?
Ryuu: The bitch you’re going to Tokyo to see for the first time in a year?

Sushi_roll added Not_really_alive

Sushi_roll: Yes.

Ryuu: Fuck you.

Ryuu is offline

Not_really_alive: What is the source of his predicament?

Chuuyas_Top: holy shit–
Chuuyas_Top: Thats fancy talk

Sushi_roll: This is my sister, Victoria ☺️

Ryuu is online

Ryuu: Sister?

Not_really_alive: Indeed, I am the esteemed elder sister of the illustrious Atsushi, known as Victoria Nakajima.

Oppo: It's nice to meet you again, Nakajima-san.

Not_really_alive: It is truly delightful conversing with you, Kunikida.

Chuuyas_Top: What the fuck kind of languge are you spoaking.

Dazais_Bottom: She’s speaking luxury, something you cannot afford to do. I should make a chat with her, me and that Poe guy so we can just speak about money.

Chuuyas_Top: You can’t speak in money–

Not_really_alive: Shall we indulge in the finest of wines and bask in the opulence of a house adorned with pure gold this evening?

Dazais_Bottom: Delightful Victoria, I shall summon Poe forthwith, for it is imperative that we engage in a discourse regarding pecuniary matters.

Chuuyas_Top: I’m leaving.

Chuuyas_Top is offline

Oppo: Please try to speak in poor while in this group chat.

Dazais_bottom: I just did it to piss Dazai off, ah Atsushi you’re taking care of Miyo right now, aren't you?

Sushi_roll: Yes, I am Chuuya-san

Dazais_bottom: How is she?

Sushi_roll: She's doing good, she's having a nap at the moment.

Oppo: Is she still recovering?

Ryuu: Yes, She’s still recovering from killing Mori. 

Dazais_Bottom: I didn’t agree to this promotion but here we are.

Oppo: You’re the boss now, Nakahara-san?

Dazais_Bottom: Yes, I am, sadly.

Ane-san: I’m so proud.

Dazais_Bottom: Shshshhs
Dazais_Bottom: I don’t wanna hear it from you.

Gin_is_cool: I think Chuuya is a great boss, he has made the mafia safer for the kids…. Mainly Miyo and Q but still.

Ane-san: yes, yes.

Ryuu: He didn’t do that to make it easier for him to access things..?

Dazais_Bottom: Ryuu..
Dazais_Bottom: I’m giving you to the count of three to delete that.

Ryuu deleted a message

Ryuu: Done.

Dazais_Bottom: Good.

Chapter Text

||In the ass-class 2.0 Chat||

Demon: Fuck you
Yesterday 1:09pm

Siren: Something happened…

Nine-tail: Milla, what happened?

Tigress: Has someone caused you harm?
Tigress: Is it imperative for me to eliminate an individual? 

Demon: Do I need to rip someone apart?

Fire-Bird: Should I set this individual on fire?

Siren: No

Siren: No need for that, I’m not hurt or in danger.

Nine-tail: Then what happened?

Siren: I have a boyfriend.

Tigress: That is a most deplorable situation, surpassing even the distress caused to you!

Siren: Tori, please..

Tigress: I am compelled to encounter this gentleman ere I bestow upon you my divine approval, and he must possess the audacity to implore for his existence should he fail to meet my lofty standards.

Fire-Bird: I concur with Victoria's viewpoint regarding this issue.

Demon: I also agree with Victoria.

Nine-tail: You three need to calm down.

Nine-tail: Milla, tell us about him.

Siren: Okay..

Siren: He is about 6’6, has four horns, darker skin, yellow and orange eyes…

Tigress: Has he made contact with your delicate being?

Siren: No

Fire-bird: Has he ever clasped your hand or bestowed a kiss upon you?

Siren: also no

Tigress: How many enchanting rendezvous has he escorted you to?

Siren: About twenty now…

Nine-tail: Both of you stop it.

Nine-tail has muted Tigress and Fire-bird for ten minutes

Nine-tail: Is he nice to you?

Siren: Yes

Demon: Does he pay?

Siren: He refuses to let me pay…

Demon: Good.

Siren: I feel bad though!

Nine-tail: Have you talked to him about this, hun?

Siren: yes, however he still wont let me pay.
Siren: Did I mention he has a tail?

Nine-tail: oh
Nine-tail: Is his ability similar to Menas?

Siren: His ability is called Devil's claw, it's quite dangerous actually…

Nine-tail: Milla…
Nine-tail: Don't tell me he's a terrorist..

Siren: He's not!
Siren: Not that I know of at least…

Demon: I want his name so I can look him up and see.

Siren: uhhh….

Siren: His name is Xabian Zhou

Demon: Is he chinese?

Siren: He is…

Demon: Understood.

Nine-tail: Shall we have a meeting with him?

Siren: Why?

Nine-tail: So he can meet the family.

Siren: I don’t think he's ready for that….

Tigress: Tonight's exquisite dinner affair demands his presence if he wishes to prolong his existence.

Fire-bird: He will be joining us for dinner.

Siren: Oh god…

||You are now private messaging 💜Demon💜||

Milla: So I told them about you

Xabian: How did they take it?

Milla: You’re to come over for dinner tonight if You don't want to be killed my sister, Victoria and my brother Devana. My sister Mena is doing like three hundred background checks on you and Mother is the most calm one about this as always.

Xabian: Oh god…

Milla: So.. dinner tonight?

Xabian: Lets hope I don’t die..

MIlla: Lets hope

Chapter Text

||Private group: Cats and hell hound||

Victoria made a group chat

Victoria added Atsushi and Akutagawa

Victoria:  Pray tell, dear Atsushi, who on earth is this gentleman?

Atsushi: Ahhhh
Atsushi:  Tori, this is my boyfriend

Akutagawa: I’m his husband.

Victoria: Astonishing! What on earth is this I hear about?!

Atsushi: He is my boyfriend, not my husband.

Victoria: Has he purloined your maiden kiss, your inaugural encounter of intimacy?
Victoria: Has he caressed your delicate being?
Victoria: Must I eliminate him?
Victoria: Has he inflicted harm upon you?
Victoria: Atsushi, respond to my inquiry immediately!

Atsushi: Ane-san, you need to calm down. He has kissed me, we have not spent the night together like that, he has harmed me before we started dating (he removed my leg) but it's fine.

Akutagawa: I was flirting when I did that.

Atsushi: Not everyone understands your way of flirting, Aku.

Akutagawa: I know..

Victoria: The audacity of his actions, stealing away your precious first kiss and inflicting pain upon you, is utterly unforgivable. In response, I shall orchestrate a meticulously calculated demise for him, a punishment befitting his heinous transgressions. 

Atsushi: Tori, No.

Akutagawa: What..?

Victoria: I shall embark on a methodical journey, delicately extracting his vital organs, one by one, and forcefully introducing them into his own throat. The retribution he shall endure will be a testament to the depths of his wrongdoing.

Akutagawa: Is she sane?

Atsushi: No, not really. She kills people for a living.

Akutagawa: Oh, that makes sense.

Victoria: ☺️

Atsushi: She’s really mad, you might want to hide, Aku, she's coming to kill you.

Victoria: His futile attempts to elude my presence are in vain, for I possess an unwavering ability to uncover his every move.

Victoria is offline

Atsushi: Oh shit–

Atsushi is offline

Akutagawa is offline

Chapter Text

||In gov units chat||

Fukuchi made a groupchat
Fukuchi added Lununa, Victoria, Jouno, Tecchou and five others

Fukuchi: This chat is only to be used for work purposes like the reason it has been made, we are not efficient enough to complete this capture mission so I have been told by the government to have our unit (The hunting dogs) team up with your unit, the assassination unit.

Lunna: This is my first time hearing about this. If you are making things up I will slit your throat myself.

Jouno: May I advise you to keep your language to yourself?

Victoria: Lunna possesses the privilege to express herself freely, for she holds a superior position compared to yours. Therefore, engaging in any form of dispute with her is utterly unnecessary. If you desire to retain the functionality of your tongue and fingers, I strongly advise you to withdraw from this confrontation.

Tecchou: Don’t threaten Jouno.

Mena: Don’t talk to Lunna like that and there will be no problems.

Lunna: Victoria, Mena. Stop.

Mena: Yes, captain

Victoria: Certainly, dear mother.

Teruko: Mother?
Teruko: Is this the kind of relationship you assholes have with each other?

Milla: Shall I drown you for insulting my group?

Lunna: Milla, enough.

Fukuchi: How about we all calm down, you’re not meant to be fighting with each other.

Mena: why do we have to work with you?

Tachihara: Because the higher ups asked us to?

Mena: …

Devana: Mena, no.

Jouno: What's the mission again?

Victoria: Engaging in a capture mission, an endeavor that lies beyond the realm of our esteemed unit. It is utterly preposterous that we find ourselves entangled in this foolish escapade, which you seem to be incapable of executing proficiently. We, the epitome of finesse and efficiency, excel in the art of stealth and accomplishing tasks with unparalleled swiftness, unlike you imbeciles.

Teruko: You’re talking in gibberish, what kind of dumbass would be able to understand you?

Jouno: Teruko, it’s quite easy to understand Victoria, you’re just trying to be rude for no reason.

Mena: I’m about to beat someone. @Devana get your ass here and hold me back.

Devana is online

Devana: Has Tori been insulted by this woman?

Lunna: You guys need to stay calm.

Mena: No, they’re being assholes.

Lunna has muted Mena and Victoria for a minute

Lunna: I apologise but we will not be helping you on this missing as the higher ups have yet to give me an order to get my unit involved. And to avoid conflict we will be leaving this group chat as there is no need for communication between our units.

Fukuchi: I see

Lunna has left the chat
Victoria has left the chat
Devana has left the chat
Milla has left the chat

Mena: I still hate all of you other than Tachihara.
Mena: If you need me Tachihara, come find me I can kill anyone you want and make all your creams come true

Mena: dreams*

Mena has left the chat

Tachihara: uh…

Jouno: She likes you.

Chapter Text

||In gov units chat||

Fukuchi added five people

Lunna: Puis-je vous demander pourquoi je suis obligé de participer à ce groupe de discussion avec vous et mon unité de fukuchi ?
(May I ask why I am obliged to be in this group chat with you and my unit, Fukuchi? )

Fukuchi: Lunna, what are you saying?

Lunna: Si tu n'es pas capable de lire cela, tu devrais retourner à l'école, espèce de vieille salope desséchée.
(If you are unable to read this then you should go back to school, you old looking, dried up bitch.)

Jouno: Is there something wrong with Kitsune?

Victoria: キツネの非の打ちどころのない性格は、母国語で優雅に話すからだ。
(Kitsune's impeccable nature remains untarnished, for she gracefully articulates in her mother tongue.)

Jouno: Is that why you’re speaking in Japanese, Tigress?

Victoria: その通りだ。
(Indeed, it is so.)

Teruko: Is this some sort of game or something?

Devana: Wir wollen uns nur in unseren jeweiligen Muttersprachen unterhalten, das ist keine komplizierte Angelegenheit.
(We just want to converse in our respective native languages; it is not a complicated matter.)

Teruko: what the fuck–

Mena: Стули пельку, суко!
(Shut up you bitch)

Milla: Zakaz przeklinania
(No swearing)

Fukuchi: what is happening here?

Milla: Nic, tylko rozmawiamy, możemy już iść?
(Nothing, we're just talking, can we leave now?)

Tecchou: …

Tecchou is offline
Devana is offline

Mila: Czy on nie umie czytać?
(Can he not read?)

Jouno: I think I shall join Tecchou offline, I can't understand a thing.

Victoria: 適切な保護措置の活用を確保することが最も重要なのです。
(It is of utmost importance to ensure the utilization of appropriate safeguards, my dear.)

Jouno: Victoria!

Jouno is offline

Tachihara: Why hasn’t Mean been speaking a lot?
Tachihara: I can see she's typing but still..

Mena: Хоча ти не можеш мене зрозуміти, я скористаюся цим моментом, щоб сказати тобі, як сильно я тебе люблю і потребую, і як я хочу бути загорнута в твої обійми кожен день, Тачіхаро. Я кохаю тебе всім серцем, але я знаю, що ти ніколи не зможеш покохати мене, бо твоє серце належить тим двом дівчатам з мафії, і я просто хотів зняти цей тягар з серця, перш ніж не зможу більше. Я хочу, щоб мене щодня обіймали твої руки, але я знаю, що це неможливо, тому я відмовлюся від цієї мрії і тихо піду, щоб більше не турбувати і не дратувати тебе. Я кохаю тебе. Мічізо Тачіхара.
(While you are unable to understand me I will take this moment to tell you how much I love you and need you and how I want to be wrapped up in your arms everyday Tachihara. I love you with all my heart but I know you could never love me since your heart belongs to those two girls at the mafia, I just wanted to get it off my chest before I no longer could. I want to be wrapped up in your arms everyday but I know that is impossible so I shall give up on this dream of mine and leave silently so as to not bother you or annoy you anymore. I love you Michizō Tachihara.)

Tachihara: Oh shit, that's a big paragraph.. 

Milla: Mena... nie
(Mena… no)

Lunna: Mena, il faut te trouver un meilleur petit ami que ce stupide chien de chasse. Je te promets qu'on t'en trouvera un
(Mena, we need to find you a better boyfriend than this stupid hunting dog. I promise we shall find you one)

Milla: Zrobimy to, nie martw się
(We will, don't worry)

Tachihara: I am so confused right now

Teruko: so am I

Fukuchi: I’m just going to go..

Fukuchi is offline
Teruko is offline
Tachihara is offline

Victoria: しかし、私は今、芥川を打ち負かすという厳粛な仕事に取り掛からなければならない。
(That was truly an exhilarating experience, nonetheless, I must now embark on the solemn task of vanquishing Akutagawa.)

Victoria is offline
Millia is offline
Mena is offline
Lunna is offline

Chapter Text

Chuuyas_Top: Since Victoria here doesn't know us very well, why don’t we place truth or dear?

Dazais_Bottom: I prefer Truth or drink, Miyo’s in school so I don’t have to worry for six hours.

Not_really_alive: I, personally, have a predilection for the exquisite indulgence of Truth or Drink, just as you do.

Ryuu: We shall play that then.

Chuuyas_Top: Chuuya’s going to get drunk then

Ane-san: Is there a problem with that?

Gin_is_cool: I see no problems other than Atsushi being in our apartment with us while this happens.

Not_really_alive: Where might my brother be located?
Not_really_alive: Should Akutagawa dare to lay a single finger upon him, I shall swiftly sever his head from his wretched body. Fear not, dear Gin, for your safety is assured. However, I regret to inform you that the same cannot be said for your beloved sibling.

Popo: okay~
Popo: Let us start and not fight, first question:
Popo; what would you do if Dazai disappeared?

Not_really_alive: I am the sole cause behind his demise.

Sushi_roll: Tori no!
Sushi_roll: And, wouldn’t we all be sad if Dazai said?

Dazais_Bottom: No, I'm pretty sure the Port Mafia will throw a party.

Ane-san: Yes, we won't have to hear them moaning each other's names anymore when Ryuu is babysitting Miyo for a night.

Oppo: The ADA is in the same boat as the mafia there.

Chuuyas_Top: We are not that loud.

Gin_is_cool: you are.

Ryuu: you are.

Sushi_roll: Yes, you are

Popo: Yes, you are, we can hear you from across the city.

Dazais_Bottom: …
Dazais_Bottom: Miyo can hear us then…
Dazais_Bottom: …

Chuuyas_Top: Damn it Ranpo, now he's worried about it.

Popo: Okay, you’re not that loud.

Ryuu: Can we just move on?

Not_really_alive: If I were to engage in a battle of wits and strength with Akutagawa, one cannot help but ponder upon the outcome.
Not_really_alive: In this hypothetical clash of titans, the question arises: who shall emerge victorious?

Chuuyas_Top: For all of us who don’t speak LuXuRy, can you translate @Sushi_roll @Dazais_Bottom ??

Popo: Oh, Poe taught me this.
Popo: Translation: If I fought Akutagawa who would win?

Chuuyas_Top: Thank you Ranpo!

Popo: 👍

Dazais_Bottom: You have the same ability as Atsushi however you’re a well trained assassin and can control your ability completely, you are on parallel with the hunting dogs.

Ryuu: Where are you going with this, Chuuya-san?

Dazais_Bottom: I would say, victory is yours, Nakajima.

Sushi_roll: Sorry Akutagawa, but I have to agree with Chuuya-san on this one..

Chuuyas_Top: No, Akutagawa would win..

Popo: I have to go with Victoria.

Oppo: As will I

Gin_is_cool: I’m going to drink, I can’t say.
Gin_is_cool sent a video

Ryuu: REALLY!?

Ane-san: Yes, I’d have to go with Victoria on this one as well.

Ya_slay: I will too.

Ryuu: OH COME ON!

Popo: What would you do if Miyo disappeared?

Dazais_Bottom: I will destroy the city looking for her

Ryuu: I shall be helping Chuuya-san

Sushi_roll: I would try and find her *without* harming anyone..

Chuuyas_Top: My murder count will be going up.

Ane-san: I shall be helping Chuuya.

Ya_slay: I’ll be getting the clinic ready for her.

Popo: Right, I forgot most of you were overprotective family members.
Popo: Let's say Dazai is looking after her again..?

Dazais_Bottom: I will throw him across Yokohama.

Chuuyas_Top: Chibi!!

Dazais_Bottom: Last time she was kidnapped while under your care!

Chuuyas_Top: that was *one* time–

Ryuu: You ever take her out again I’ll throw you into the bay myself.

Chuuyas_Top: Do you not love me anymore!?

Ryuu: I have the validation I need, though some from you would be nice I don’t actively seek it out. Chuuya, Gin, Atsushi and Miyo give me enough of it already, I kind of forgot about you to be honest.

Chuuyas_Top: :O How can this be!?

Dazais_Bottom: Simple, I’m a better parent.

Gin_is_cool: Can confirm, also, Yumeno wants to join this group chat or the family one.

Dazais_Bottom: I’ll add them into the family group chat after this game.

Sushi_roll: Isn’t Yumeno that creepy kid with the one legged doll and like razors in her arm?

Ryuu: Yes, that's them, however please refer to Yumeno (or Q) by they/them pronouns as that's what they prefer.

Oppo: How old is this Yumeno? 

Gin_is_cool: they are thirteen.

Oppo: Are we sure the kid knows what she means when she says she wants to go by they/them?

Dazais_Bottom: It's just pronouns.
Dazais_Bottom: And it's not like they’re altering their body at such a young age, I wouldn’t allow it. When Yumeno turns eighteen and they want to change genders, I’m fine with it.
Dazais_Bottom: Q is going by they/them * pronouns *, pronouns can be changed at any time back and forth between them. At the moment Yumeno feels comfortable with they/them and we are going to use they/them to keep them feeling safe and welcomed.
Dazais_Bottom: If you have a problem with it, bitch to someone else.

Oppo: Okay, I was just making sure, I’m sorry to have angered you Nakahara-san

Chuuyas_Top: I think I’m in love. 😍

Dazais_Bottom: We’ve been married since we were seventeen, dumbass. Too late to say you’re falling in love.

Oppo: WHAT!?

Sushi_roll: You didn’t know about this, Kunikida-san?

Oppo: no! I did not know about this!

Popo: The president knew, everyone other than Kunikida knew.

Ryuu: That's.. Kind of sad.

Sushi_roll: Says the one who was at the wedding.

Ryuu: I was the fucking best maid of honour.

Dazais_Bottom: You were.

Chuuyas_Top: God damn it, I didn’t have a maid of honour, Atsushi where were you?

Sushi_roll: In the orphanage. ☺️

Chuuyas_Top: That's right..

Ane-san: Shall we hold a new wedding just so Atsushi can be part of it?

Chuuyas_Top: yes, you’re wearing the dress this time Chuuya.

Dazais_Bottom: we both know I’ll look better in it then you, Miyo can be the wing barrier

Not_really_alive: Has the art of indulging in the game been forsaken?

Dazais_Bottom: Oh shit, sorry Victoria, we got side tracked.

Popo: Anyways, What is one thing you regret doing to Atsushi, Victoria?

Ryuu: A personalised question?
Ryuu: What could she have done?

Sushi_roll: Tori, you don’t have to answer.

Not_really_alive: Rest assured, Atsushi, I shall graciously attend to this inquiry.

Ryuu: Does she always take so long to type?

Sushi_roll: well, yea, she speaks fancy and that normally involves a lot of words, I can do it too, however I can’t type it out like Tori can, I’m still learning to type normally like this.

Ryuu: Right that orphanage was shit

Chuuyas_Top: yea, Kunikida became a teacher again just for Atsushi-kun!

Not_really_alive: Oh, how my heart aches with remorse when I reflect upon the gravest mistake I have committed towards my cherished younger brother, Atsushi. It is with great sorrow that I confess my regret for not extending my protective embrace to him when the cold hands of the government snatched me away, and for failing to reunite with him in a timelier manner.

Ryuu: Translate?

Dazais_Bottom: She regrets not taking Atsushi with her when the government took her in for training (I’m guessing he was taken the same day to the orphanage or something) and not reuniting with him sooner.

Sushi_roll: Tori…

Sushi_roll is offline

Not_really_alive is offline

Ryuu: I think they’re crying together

Gin_is_cool: how sweet <3

Ryuu: No, not sweet, she stole my boyfriend!

Dazais_Bottom: Calm down, you get to fuck him like every three days.

Ryuu: You said we wouldn't bring that up.

Dazais_Bottom: You said you’d help me beat up Osamu last mission, didn’t happen.

Oppo: OSAMU!?!?

Chuuyas_Top: We’re married, did you not expect him to call me by my first name?

Ya_slay: He fainted.

Ryuu: Gin and I have a mission to go on, enjoy the wine I left you under the couch Chuuya-san.

Chuuyas_Top: huh!?

Dazais_Bottom: Thanks Ryuu.

Chapter Text

||In the ‘family’ chat||

Mama has added QwQ to the chat.

Miyo: Mama, who is this?

QwQ: I’m here!
QwQ: Yesss!

Mama: Miyo, dear, you remember Yumeno, correct?

Miyo: Who?

Ryuu-ani: Q

Miyo: Ah! Q!!
Miyo: Yea!

Mama: This is Q, my dear

QwQ: That is me

Dad: So what is Miyo's relationship with the Akutagawas, Yumeno and Atsuhi again?

Miyo: Sibling

Ryuu-ani: Elder brother

Gin-ane: Elder sister

QwQ: Elder sibling

Sushi-ane: Brother-in-law

Dad: YOU AT RYUU ARE MARRIED!?!?

Sushi-ane: no, I’m just being called her brother-in-law

Mama: I’m taking Miyo out, it's my day off and I’m spending it with my baby.

Oba-san: I shall accompany you

Yosa-oba: I shall also join you, Chuuya may I have your sister's hand in marriage?

Mama: ask her that, not me.

Oba-san: We will discuss this later, Yosano.

Chapter Text

||In the ‘Alliance’ chat||

Sushi_roll: Tori, where are you?
Sushi_roll: Tori, you aren't answering my dm’s where are you?

Ryuu: Jinko? Why are you messaging your sister in this chat?

Sushi_roll: She isn’t hovering over me, trying to kill Dazai or talking about how I need to be more gentle with you. I’m worried. She’s vanished.

Dazais_Bottom: Maybe she had to go to work?

Sushi_roll: no, she would have told me.

Chuuyas_Top: Then maybe… she didn’t want to hang around you anymore?

Sushi_roll is typing…

Ryuu: Dazai-san, I can see him typing, I wish you luck.

Dazais_Bottom: Osamu, you’ve hurt another kid, congratulations.

Chuuyas_Top: No! I didn’t mean it like that!
Chuuyas_Top: ATSUSHI-KUN PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!

Not_really_alive: Cease detonating my cellular device! I am currently indulging in the company of the exquisite Milla!

Sushi_roll is typing

Sushi_roll: who’s Milla?

Not_really_alive: My dear acquaintance, Milla, a comrade of mine in the esteemed assassination unit, and I find ourselves indulging in a delightful tea session at a charming tea house. Pray, do enlighten me, Atsushi, as to the purpose of your search for my presence?

Ryuu: Yea, why are you looking for her?

Sushi_roll: She might have been under Dazai-san’s bed with a knife again, I wanted to make sure he was safe.

Chuuyas_Top: I’m sorry, WHAT!?

Dazais_Bottom: What did he do?

Sushi_roll: Try and make me do his paperwork again.

Ryuu: Is it that big of a problem..?

Not_really_alive: Dazai, in his utter incompetence, remains oblivious to the art of accomplishing his own tasks, thus shamelessly burdening my unfortunate younger sibling with his responsibilities! It is imperative that Dazai acquaints himself with the concept of self-reliance before I am compelled to take drastic measures.

Chuuyas_Top: Chuu, do you think Mori still wants me back?

Dazais_Bottom: He said no.

Ryuu: Mori is always welcoming you back, Chuuya-san is just upset.

Chuuyas_Top: why?

Ryuu: You’d take his seat.

Gin_is_cool: Also, Chuuya-san doesn’t want you back since you seem genuinely happier at the agency.

Chuuyas_Top: When the hell did you get here!?

Gin_is_cool: I’ve been here. Watching.

Sushi_roll: Ryuu, your sister is scary…

Ryuu: good. Your sister is scary too.

Sushi_roll: No, she's just…

Sushi_roll: Murderous..?

Chuuyas_Top: Can’t think of a word other than scary to describe her?

Sushi_roll: uhhhh

Ryuu: That’s what I thought.

Not_really_alive: In the realm of nomenclature, dear Atsushi, an alternative term to depict my persona would undoubtedly be awe-inspiring.

Sushi_roll: True…

Ryuu: I’m not even going to ask. Anyways. What does this Milla look like?

Not_really_alive: Milla, a young lady in her late teens, possesses a striking appearance with deep purple and blue locks, silver eyes, and pale blue complexion. Standing at 5'4, she hails from Poland and is renowned as the siren of our group. Surprisingly, despite her title, she harbours a fear of water and avoids the ocean at all costs.

Dazais_Bottom: It seems as though you enjoy talking about your unit…

Chuuyas_Top: Well, they are her friends.

Dazais_Bottom: True.

Sushi_roll: Do you have a photo?

Not_really_alive sent a photo

Sushi_roll: She’s really pretty!

Ryuu: That is not a person.

Chuuyas_Top: that is a smurf.

Not_really_alive: Should you dare to besmirch my esteemed companion once more, referring to her as a diminutive creature known as a smurf, I shall not hesitate to engage in the most gruesome of actions. I shall meticulously dissect your vital organs and proceed to serve them to your appointed legal guardians, as a most fitting retribution for your audacious transgressions.

Chuuyas_Top has fled the groupchat
Ryuu has gone offline

Chapter Text

Ryuu: Has anyone seen the tigers?

Gin_is_cool: Not since the other day when Victoria threatened to have your head.

Ryuu: We don’t talk about that.

Chuuyas_top: Why did she want your head?

Gin_is_cool: He told Atsushi he wanted to ride him again.

Dazais_bottom: AGAIN!?

Ryuu: Not like that–
Ryuu: With Tori around his learning to control his ability better and can now go full tiger form for like half an hour before losing control. I meant I wanted to sit on his back while he walked around when he is able to do it without losing control of his ability.

Chuuyas_top: That makes sense…

Dazais_bottom: You’re lying to yourself.
Dazais_bottom: Why are you looking for the Nakajima’s?

Ryuu: Atsu and I were supposed to be going on a date but Tori stole him.

Gin_is_cool: Maybe they’re buying you a dress?

Ryuu: Gin stop joking about that! It was one time.

Gin_is_cool: I’ve caught you in a dress, more than once.

Ryuu: SHHShShiqwhdqwhdnqw;dxh13

Sushi_roll is online
Not_really_alive is online

Sushi_roll and Not_really_alive changed their usernames.

Ryuu: What the hell is going on?

Javan_Tiger: Hey girl, open the walls

Chuuyas_Top: OMFG!? SHE’S SPEAKING POOR!?

Ryuu: I think she's sick…

Gin_is_cool: Yea…

Siberian_Tiger: Play with your dolls

Ryuu: Atsu, what are you talking about? The only people who would be playing with dolls would be Miyo, Yumeno or Elise.

Javan_Tiger: We'll be a perfect family

Dazais_bottom: All of you shut up, it’s fine. Victoria is okay, they’re likely just sharing part of their life they haven’t shared yet.

Popo: I’m not going to say anything. I have to go back to Poe now.

Popo is offline

Siberian_Tiger: When you walk away is when we really play

Ryuu: please Don’t talk about our sex life in a group chat–

Gin_is_cool: RYUU, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Ryuu: I’m not speaking, I’m typing.

Gin_is_cool: Then remove your fingers.

Javan_Tiger: You don't hear me when I say…
Javan_Tiger: "Mom, please wake up. Dad's with a slut. And your son is smoking cannabis"

Ryuu: Atsushi smokes?

Chuuyas_top: Since when?

Siberian_Tiger: No one never listens

Ane-san: I’m always here to talk to, unlike Dazai, I do listen.

Siberian_Tiger: This wallpaper glistens

Javan_Tiger: Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen

Chuuyas_top: Why did I just hear a blood curdling scream?

Ryuu: Gin saw a spider.

Dazais_bottom: I killed it, you’re safe now.

Gin_is_cool: Thanks Mumma.

Chuuyas_top: Are you guys at the agency?

Dazais_bottom: No, we’re in the mafia, why?

Chuuyas_top: Why does Gin scream so loud?

Gin_is_cool: Vocal lessons.

Chuuyas_top: Why?

Gin_is_cool: Because I can.

Javan_Tiger: Places, places. Get in your places
Javan_Tiger: Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces

Siberian_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Siberian_Tiger: Please don't let them look through the curtains

Ryuu: Why? What's behind the curtains?

Dazais_bottom: I'm pretty sure it's a metaphor, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Oh..

Javan_Tiger: Picture, picture, smile for the picture

Javan_Tiger: ‘Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?’

Siberian_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Siberian_Tiger: Please don't let them look through the curtains

Javan_Tiger: D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E
Javan_Tiger: I see things that nobody else sees

Gin_is_cool: What are you seeing, Victoria? Is it my promotion?

Dazais_bottom: i’m sorry Gin, but even I haven’t heard anything about that one yet

Gin_is_cool: 🥹

Siberian_Tiger: D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

Siberian_Tiger: I see things that nobody else sees

Oppo: Why did he repeat what Nakajima-san did?

Chuuyas_top: I’m still stuck on the part about him smoking cannabis

Oppo: HE WHATS!?

Chuuyas_top: I know! I can't believe he never told me, I would have been able to get him the good stuff too…

Dazais_bottom: Osamu…

Chuuyas_top fled the groupchat

Javan_Tiger: Hey girl, look at my mum

Popo: You have a mum?

Ryuu: Oh shit! When did you come back!?

Popo: like 20 notifications ago.

Siberian_Tiger: She's got it going on

Javan_Tiger: Ha.
Javan_Tiger: You’re blinded by her Jewellery.

Gin_is_cool: Were you rich growing up or something?

Siberian_Tiger: When you turn your back, she pulls out a flask

Javan_Tiger: And forgets his infidelity

Ryuu: what?

Gin_is_cool: He choked on his water.

Dazais_bottom: Osamu has been reading over my shoulder, his on the floor dying of laughter.

Ane-san: I was not expecting that line to come from Victoria.

Ya_slay: I know, normally she's speaking in luxury then she’s speaking in normal tongue now look at her. I think she might me on her deathbed.

Ane-san: Oh, I hope not, Chuuya, I and her have lovely wine nights while complaining about Dazai and thinking of ways to make him live longer.

Siberian_Tiger: Uh oh
Siberian_Tiger: She’s coming to the attic.
Siberian_Tiger: Plastic!
Siberian_Tiger: Go back to being plastic!

Ryuu: Plastic..?
Ryuu: Jinko, are you feeling alright? 

Dazais_bottom: He is likely using another metaphor, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Oh, okay.

Javan_Tiger: On one ever listens
Javan_Tiger: This wallpaper glistens.

Oppo: And now she's repeating what was said earlier.

Ya_slay: I’m going to find her so I can make sure she’s not hallucinating or about to die.

Ane-san: Good idea.

Javan_Tiger: One day they’ll see what goes down in the kitchen…

Popo: Please keep all trauma out of this group chat when I add Poe to it, it will make him cry. He’s very soft hearted <3

Javan_Tiger: PLACES! PLACES!
Javan_Tiger: Get in your places

Siberian_Tiger: Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces
Siberian_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains.

Ryuu: What is happening behind the curtains!?!?!?

Dazais_bottom: I’d take a wild guess and say abuse.

Ryuu: ....

Ryuu is offline

Dazais_bottom: Shit.

Siberian_Tiger: PICTURE! PICTURE!
Siberian_Tiger: Smile for the picture

Javan_Tiger: Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?
Javan_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains.

Oppo: Again with the repeating.

Siberian_Tiger: D
Javan_Tiger: O
Siberian_Tiger: L
Javan_Tiger: L
Siberian_Tiger: H
Javan_Tiger: O
Siberian_Tiger: U
Javan_Tiger: S
Siberian_Tiger: E

Javan_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees
Siberian_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Javan_Tiger: D
Siberian_Tiger: O
Javan_Tiger: L
Siberian_Tiger: L
Javan_Tiger: H
Siberian_Tiger: O
Javan_Tiger: U
Siberian_Tiger: S
Javan_Tiger: E

Javan_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees
Siberian_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Oppo: I’m leaving, I have work to do.

Oppo went offline

Dazais_bottom: Victoria, are you okay? Blink twice for no.
Dazais_bottom: …. Or don't?

Gin_is_cool: Ryuunosuke is trying to find any and all information he can get about the Nakajima's birth parents.

Dazais_bottom: Let him be.

Gin_is_cool: but he’ll kill them..?

Dazais_bottom: ist fine, we’re in the mafia after all.

Gin_is_cool: what about his six month no killing promise thing?

Dazais_bottom: It’s not killing, it's late abortion.

Gin_is_cool: Okay…?

Javan_Tiger: Hey girl

Gin_is_cool: Yes?

Ane-san: Yes?

Ya_slay: Yes?

Gin_is_cool: wait.. Who was she referring to?

Ya_slay: I have no idea.

Javan_Tiger: Hey girl, open your walls

Ane-san: is it just me or….?

Ya_slay: not just you.

Javan_Tiger: Play with your dolls

Gin_is_cool: …

Ya_slay: ^

Javan_Tiger: We’ll be a ‘perfect’ family.

Javan_Tiger: PLACES! PLACES!
Javan_Tiger: Get in your places

Siberian_Tiger: Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces

Ane-san: and they repeat again.
Ane-san: Chuuya, we have a meeting in twenty minutes, I’ll meet you there, however I have to go now.

Dazais_bottom: okay Ane-san, I’ll see you in ten.

Ane-san has gone offline

Siberian_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains.
Siberian_Tiger: PICTURE! PICTURE!
Siberian_Tiger: Smile for the picture

Javan_Tiger: Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?
Javan_Tiger: Everyone thinks that we’re perfect.

Siberian_Tiger: Please don't let them look through the curtains.

Dazais_bottom: can you two please wrap up the song now? 

Siberian_Tiger: D
Javan_Tiger: O
Siberian_Tiger: L
Javan_Tiger: L
Siberian_Tiger: H
Javan_Tiger: O
Siberian_Tiger: U
Javan_Tiger: S
Siberian_Tiger: E

Javan_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Siberian_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Javan_Tiger: D

Siberian_Tiger: O 

Javan_Tiger: L

Siberian_Tiger: L 

Javan_Tiger: H

Siberian_Tiger: O

Javan_Tiger: U

Siberian_Tiger: S

Javan_Tiger: E

Javan_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Siberian_Tiger: We see things that nobody else sees

Siberian_Tiger: Done!

Dazais_bottom: Was that fun?

Siberian_Tiger: Yep! I’m surprised Tori agreed though.

Chapter Text

||In the ‘Alliance’ chat||

Oppo: Nakajima, why is there a dead body in the middle of the office? @Javan_Tiger

Javan_Tiger: I assure you, that individual was not me; I am well-versed in the art of tidying up my own messes.

Oppo: Then who might it have been?

Siberian_Tiger: I saw a woman in the office earlier, she had really pale skin, I think she’s a vampire or something.

Javan_Tiger: What is the hue of her luscious locks?

Siberian_Tiger: ahh.. Redish brownish I think, it was really early, I couldn’t see it properly

Javan_Tiger: Dark teardrop-shaped stains beneath her eyes?

Siberian_Tiger: yes.

Javan_Tiger: I shall handle this, Kunikida-san.

Oppo: Thank you Nakajima-sama..
Oppo: Wait, you know this person?

Javan_Tiger went offline

The woman with dark skin, vibrant orange hair and golden eyes stood from her bed within the building she lived in. She silently stalked out of her bedroom and entered the living room/meeting area. Her eyebrow twitched as she stood in front of the three couches. “Mena Kazma, make haste and present yourself before me this instant.” Victoria's voice echoed around the silent building.

A woman with skin as white as snow, hair as red as blood and eyes as red as ruby entered the room. The three black teardrop marks under each eye were burned onto her perfect, clear skin and painted in soot. “Yes, ‘Toria?” Mena asked, sighing as she sat down on the couch. 

The woman had two black harns poking out of her red hair and was dressed in a deep purple, almost black jumpsuit. The succubus looked up at the weretiger.

“What led you to grace the esteemed premises of the illustrious armed detectives agency, Deca?” Victoria’s tone was icy and harsh, causing Mena to pause.

“I was looking for you, ‘Toria.” Mena sighed and looked away. That was a lie, whenever Mena looked away the woman was lying, everyone knows it. Victoria’s eyes brightened in colour slightly

“Mena, I implore you to abstain from deceiving me. I shall pose this inquiry once more, for the final time, pray tell, what compelled your presence at the esteemed agency?” Victoria’s voice was cold and harsh, her glare causing a shiver of terror to run down the demons back.

“My target was there so I killed him and left.” The latter admitted, looking away. 

“Is this yet another manifestation of your deranged obsession, my dear? It appears that the departed soul happens to be of the fairer sex.” Victoria sighed, shaking her head, arms crossed over her chest. 

Mena bit her bottom lip, slamming her fist into her own leg. “Why does that matter!?”

“Your infatuation with Tachihara seems to have transcended all reasonable boundaries, my dear. I had hoped that you had moved on from such an obsession, but alas, it appears that I was mistaken.” Victoria’s harsh voice softened slightly, breaking on the next few words.

“Mena, dear, it is imperative that you seek assistance. This current state of affairs is far from conducive to your well-being.”

Mena’s eye twitched. “I’m perfectly fucking fine!” She yelled as she stood up, her ruby red eyes glowing.

“I implore you, refrain from employing your ability upon my person.” Victoria's mood went from concerned to enraged in seconds, sharp, tiger-like fans snapping down in her mouth and her pupils dilating in rage. “Please take a seat, Mena, before I summon Lunna.” The treat was cold and vicious.

“There will be no need for that, Tigress.” A gentle voice echoed through the living/meeting room. “I have already booked Mena an appointment with a therapist, I will be taking her there today.”

The woman who had just joined them, Kitsune– Nine Tail, Lunna Kasmi, the leader of their unit and their mother-figure in a way. The long blonde hair, wrapped in an elegant bun atop her head, her emerald green eyes which were always gentle and loving, her pale, healthy skin. This was their leader.

The captain of the assassination unit.

“Captain, I was unaware of your presence in this vicinity.” Victoria bowed, keeping her bow low to show the respect she held for the other woman.

‘What the fuck!?” Mena hissed. “I don’t need a therapist!”

“You do, you have over thirty-two photos of Tachihara-kun on your wall.” A soft, sweet voice cooned from a bedroom just beyond the kitchen, the room between Mena and Lunnas. Milla had just walked into the open space. “And, you’re not as quiet as you think you are when you’re using that vibrat–”

“Milla, darling, that's enough.” Lunna cut the woman with pale, blue skin, purple and blue hair and silver eyes off. They didn’t need to know of Mena’s one person activities at night. And by the flustered look on Mena’s face she didn’t want them to know either.

Victoria held in a chuckle.

Lunna sighed, “Your first session with your new therapist is tomorrow at 2pm, I will be taking you.” She said simply without looking away from the rage in Mena’s face.

Chapter Text

Nakajima Victoria walked into the armed detective agency, dragging the pale skinned demon behind her, by the hair. The woman with dark skin threw the latter onto the ground in the middle of the office. 

“Succubus, you are required to apologise to them immediately.” Victoria’s voice is hard and cold, however when she saw Atsushi she abandoned the woman and went to smother her younger brother in affection… and to keep Dazai away from him.

Kunikida looked over at the woman with red hair, who was rubbing her head. “I assume you’re the woman who left the dead body in our office this morning?” He asked with a frown on his face. “You do realise how that wrecked my schedule for today, right?” 

“You do realise that I don't give two shits, right?” Mena bit back. Her hostility towards him was mainly based on her bad mood. “I’m sorry your ass has a stick up it, it's not my fault you stick to a schedule and think that every day should be the same. Maybe if you lived a little someone would actually care if you ended up dying in a hole somewhere–”

“MENA!” Lunna’s voice echoed around the room, her green eyes glowing with a hint of rage. Mena had fucked up. “You’re here to apologise. If you don’t do as you're meant to, I will put you on clean up duty for a month.”

Mena gulped “yes.. Sorry ma’am.” The succubus sighed and lowered her head, grovelling before the agency. “I sincerely apologise for my actions and words.”

Fukuzawa sighed softly. “It’s fine, just make sure not to do it again.”

Lunna bowed and apologised on behalf of Mean for the next five minutes.

Chapter Text

||You are now private messaging Deca||

Toria: I cannot agree to partake in this prank with you, Mena

Deca: Why not?

Toria: I have no desire to do so.

Deca: Killjoy.
Deca: How can I make you agree?

Toria: Purchase my favourite dessert for me, and perhaps I will consider your request.

Deca: I’ll buy you five puddings if you agree to do this, now.

Toria: I accept the invitation.

Deca: Good.

||In gov units chat||

Jouno: Victoria and Mena have both been really inactive lately…

Lunna: Tori has been busy beating up her brother and her brother's boyfriend.

Tecchou: .... What did they do to get her mad?

Devana: Atsushi was engaging in a physical altercation with Akutagawa, resulting in Akutagawa severing Atsushi's leg.

Fukuchi: We did not need to know that information.

Teruko: Why are they even still in this chat? 
Teruko: This is meant to be for government units only.

Lunna: The assassination unit is a government unit, Teruko Ōkura. You know that. Please stop trying to start pointless fights with my unit while some of them are busy handling personal things.

Teruko: So stalking Tachi is ‘personal’?

Lunna: ….
Lunna: Who let Mena out of her room!?

Milla: She said she had to pee….

Lunna: It's… okay. I can’t blame you.
Lunna: You’re too kind.

Teruko: What the fuck..?
Teruko: Why was the demon locked up?

Devana: Mena declined to attend therapy, hence we are doing our utmost to keep her separated from Tachihara.

Jouno: Therapy?
Jouno: Why hasn’t she started that earlier? 
Jouno: Shes fucking thirty-two!

Lunna: ….. 
Lunna: She should have been in therapy ages ago.

Devana: What is the age of Tachihara?

Fukuchi: He is nineteen.
Fukuchi: Why is Mena obsessed with Tachihara?

Lunna: Tori is the only one who knows. I can’t answer that.

Victoria: He is the initial individual outside of our circle to extend compassion towards her, following the torment she endured in her youth as a result of the physical repercussions of her unique gift. (I received approval prior to disclosing).

Teruko: Pretty lame reason to stalk someone.

Victoria: You endure the audacity of individuals attempting to forcibly extract objects from your cranium and subjecting you to the torment of being engulfed in flames, all because of the peculiar growth stemming from your extraordinary capabilities.

Lunna: That’s enough information, Victoria. Calm down.

Teruko: ….

Mena: Do you really love me?

Victoria: Do you love me not?

Jouno: What is happening?

Tachihara: No idea

Teruko: Is this some sort of fight over Tachi? If so it's pathetic.

Lunna: How did you get Tori to agree to this?

Mena: Am I the girl of your dreams?

Devana: Under no circumstances

Mena: >:c

Victoria: Am I gonna be blocked?

Jouno: No one is going to block you Victoria, we all know everyone here is obsessed with your fur.

Teruko: … that's true

Victora: Should I have another drink

Mena: To shut up my thoughts?

Lunna: Victoria, you’re not allowed alcohol. 

Fukuzawa: Why isn’t she?

Milla: You don’t want to know.

Mena: Do you really love me?
Mena: Do you love me not?
Mena: Spent the night, met my mom

Fukuchi: Tachihara…?

Tachihara: She invited me for dinner!

Victoria: It must be a sign

Mena: Made me breakfast in bed

Tachihara: I can explain that too–

Victoria: Where's the dotted line?

Teruko: Go on, explain.

Tachihara: I–

Mena: You know that I'm in it

Victoria: But did you hit your limit?

Tecchou: Is it just me or can we understand Victoria this time?

Teruko: We've always been able to understand her.

Mena: I wanna be exclusive 
Mena: I wanna be explicit

Fukuchi: Please never say that again in this chat.

Victoria added Gov agent to the chat

Tachihara: What the hell!?

Jouno: Who is this, Toria?

Victoria: @Gov agent Do you mean what you say?

Gov agent: What..?
Gov agent: Why did you add me here tigress?

Mena: You've been really nice

Gov agent: Mena, darling–

Victoria: What's the deal? How you feel?

Tachihara: …

Lunna: …. Is this the asshole who played Mena a few weeks ago?

Devana: I am of the opinion that it is true

Milla: …

Fukuchi: I thought she was obsessed with Tachihara??

Lunna: She is, but she’s focused on someone else right now…

Tachihara: I feel kinda hurt knowing that..

Milla: Maybe that's a good thing?

Tachihara: I–

Mena: It's a slip and slide

Gov agent: Mena, dear…..

Mena: Yesterday was flawless

Gov agent: I’m glad to hear that

Mena: But now I feel like garbage

Gov agent: What..?

Lunna: I’m sharpening my knives.

Fukuchi: You can't kill a government agent!

Lunna: Watch me.

Mena: And if I'm being honest
Mena: Love you so much, I vomit

Gov agent: Isn’t it too early to say that..?

Mena: Do you really love me?

Victoria: Do you love her not?

Milla: …. I’m pilling the pool

Mena: Am I the girl of your dreams?
Mena: Am I gonna be blocked?

Victoria: Should I have another drink

Mena: To shut up my thoughts?
Mena: Do you really love me?
Mena: Do you love me or not?

Victoria: Do you really love her?

Gov agent: look, can both of you stop this?
Gov agent: I have work to do.

Victoria: Do you love her not?

Mena: Do you think I'm so pathetic?
Mena: Do you think I'm hot?

Gov agent: Of course your hot Mena dearling

Tachihara: Who is this man?

Tecchou: I have no clue.

Jouno: I’m judging by his texting tone here and going to say he is the prime minister's son.

Teruko: Shit. Bad luck with men, huh?

Victoria: Do you really love her?
Victoria: Do you think she's too much?

Gov agent: Tigress, can you shut the fuck up?

Devana went offline

Lunna: He shattered his phone.

Fukuchi: oh god, is his hand okay?

Milla: I’ll take care of patching him up.

Mena: Am I hanging by a string?
Mena: Am I pushing my luck?

Gov agent: Yes, you are, Succubus.

Tachihara: do not call her by her code name with that tone.

Teruko: She might be a bitch but you have no right to do that. Prime Minister's son or not.

Mena: Because you say I'm your beloved
Mena: You say I'm enough

Victoria: But every time she kicks and screams
Victoria: And you tell her to shush!

Lunna: You tell her to shush?

Teruko: You tell her to what?

Mena: You tell me to, huh?

Gov agent: why are you doing this in a group chat?

Milla: She’s allowed to do what she wants.

Gov agent: Like you can you smurf rip off?

Lunna: Don’t you dare call her that again.

Mena: You tell me that I really shouldn't worry
Mena: And I'm blowing it up?
Mena: But I'm falling in love!
Mena: Do you wanna break up?

Gov agent: If you keep this going then yes.

Teruko: It's probably better for her to be obsessed with Tachi then obsessed with a manwhore like you.

Gov agent: I can get you fired for that.

Lunna: Try it. I’ll hunt you down.

Victoria: Do you really love her?

Gov agent: I told you to shut up.

Mena: Do you love me not?
Mena: Am I the girl of your dreams?

Gov agent: Clearly not. You cant even listen to me for a minute, fucking whore.

Tachihara: Just because her ability is called ‘succubus’ doesn’t make her a whore.

Mena: Am I gonna be blocked?

Gov agent: Yes.

Mena: Should I have another drink
Mena: To shut up my thoughts?
Mena: Do you really love me?
Mena: Do you love me not?

Gov agent: Will you just shut up!?

Fukuchi: Watch what you say in this group chat.

Gov agent: You watch it.

Mena: Do you love me, love me, love me, love me, love me?

Tachihara is offline

Mena: Do you love me, love me, love me, love me, love me not?

Gov agent: Succubus, will you shut up already and remove me for this group chat?

Mena: Do you love me, love me, love me, love me, love me?
Mena: Do you love me, love me, love me, love me, love me not?

Gov agent: For fucks sakes!

Victoria: L-O-V-E on my mind

Mena: I've been hit by this guy called stupid cupid (ow)

Gov agent: Really?

Victoria: L-O-V-E, what's your sign?
Victoria: 'Cause I think we're aligned, but, what are you doing?

Jouno: This is quite amusing.

Tecchou: …

Tecchou went offline

Victoria: L-O-V-E on my mind
Victoria: She's been hit by this guy called stupid cupid

Mena: L-O-V-E, what's your type?

Gov agent: You…?

Victoria: Long brown hair with the dark brown eyes

Gov agent: Fuck.

Mena: ….

Victoria: Is it not evident that this casual liaison has reached its conclusion?

Mena: … yes.

Victoria has kicked Gov agent from the group chat
Mena has gone offline

Chapter Text

Fyodor sat on a black and purple, large chequered blanket with a basket, poking out of the basket was a bottle of Vodka. Sitting on a red and blue chequered blanket across from Fyodor Dostoyevsky was Nakahara Chuuya, who had a glass of wine in his hand. 

“Dostoyevsky.”

“Nakahara.”

The two men were glaring daggers at each other while the two children just sat in the sand and worked on building a sand castle.

Chuuya was dressed in a set of red and white swimming trunks and a red vest. His hair was done in a small plate which Miyo had done only a few hours earlier. The glass of wine in his hand contrasted with his outfit. He was drinking white wine for once. 

Fyodor was wearing black swimming trunks with three violet diamonds on the pant leg, this was something Nikolai had made him. He was wearing a t-shirt like cover-up which was purple, also having three black diamonds on it, another item made by Nikolai.

Both men had been wearing thongs (flip flops), which had been set aside on the sand. Both also had an umbrella over their picnic blankets, hiding them from the sun.

The two children were in swimsuits and rashies, dosed in sunscreen. However Ju was wearing his sunglasses to keep the sun's burning rays out of his eyes. Miyo was wearing her blindfold as well just in case her ability activated without her wanting it to.

“Mama! Look!” The little girl cheered, eyes bright behind the blindfold and a gleaming smile on her lips.

Chuuya’s eyes were ripped away from the staring contest he was having with the russian rat and he looked over at the sand castle which the two children had made. It was horridly constructed. The castle was falling apart, the towers were uneven, if you could even call half of them towers. The centre of the castle was smashed and collapsed in on itself.

Chuuya, despite seeing the monstrosity, pulled out his phone and took a photo. “It looks lovely.” He said with a grin on his lip as he sent the image to the family group chat.

|| In the ‘family’ group chat||

Mama sent a photo
Isn’t it wonderful?

Oba-san: It’s a wonderful sand castle, I'm so proud of her.

Oji-Kunna: Its horridly made/

QwQ: How dare you say that.
QwQ: Mama Chuuya, next time can I come with you to the beach?

Mama: Sure.

Ryuu-ani: What beach is that?

Gin-ane: There's only one beach in Yokohama, Ryu

Ryuu-ani: got it.

Mama: Ryuu, no.

Ryuu-ani and QwQ went offline

Mama: Guess I have two more kids to look after.

Gin-ane: Ryuu is twenty.

Mama: He's still my baby, so are you.

Gin-ane: …

Gin-ane went offline

Mama: That's a third kid.

Dad: @Oji-Kunna Don’t insult Miyos art work!

Mama: Ju worked on it as well.

Dad: Don’t insult Miyo and Ju’s* art work!

Oji-Kunna: I was just pointing out that it is horridly made.

Sushi-ane: Kunikida, could you kindly shut up please? 

Chuuya sighed and turned his phone off, shaking his head “Kunikida has a stick up his ass.”

Fyodor raised a brow. “Why? Has something happened?” 

Nakahara rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air, turning his phone on, screenshotting the text messages and sending them to Fyodor's contact. The sound of Fyodor’s audio recording of himself speaking filled the space between them.

“Dazai Osamu’s slut is messaging you.”

Fyodor picked up his phone and pressed on the notification, pretending that the sound of the notification didn’t go off. Chuuya also pretended that he hadn’t heard that notification. 

Fyodor read over the images and his eyes narrowed. “What does he expect from children?”

Chuuya shrugged. “No idea.” He hummed and sipped his wine, deciding to pull some sushi out as Miyo walked over, her grin getting bigger the closer she got to Chuuya.

Ju followed behind her, sitting down next to Fyodor and digging through the basket to find some Varenyky if they had brought any. Nikolai had made some cheese filled Varenyky and cherried filled Varenyky the night before and they had quite a few left overs. Of course it would be better to eat it heated up but Ju also enjoyed to eat the cherry ones cold.

Ju pulled a container out of the basket and opened it, a grin sliding across his face. Fyodor reached over the child, into the basket and pulled out a work, holding it out to the boy. “Your hands are covered in sand, don’t eat with your hands.”

Chuuya passed the sushi to Miyo as she sat down, along with chopsticks and a handkerchief so she would clean her hands. Miyo opened the sushi and grabbed the small pod of soy sauce and handed it to Chuuya. “No no.”

Chuuya smiled softly, nodding and putting the pod back into the basket, knowing that the child didn’t like how soy sauce tasted. That was something she and Dazai had in common.

The sound of a car and a motorcycle filled the air as they pulled up, The back door to the car flung open and Yumeno came tumbling out, rushing towards them. “MIMI~!” They called, arms open and read to tackle Miyo in a hug.

Ryuunosuke got out of the driver's seat and walked around to the car door which Yumeno had exited from. He grabbed the doll and closed the vehicle's door. The twenty year old walked towards them, he grabbed Yumeno by the collar. “Calm down, don’t jump on her, she’s eating.”

Yumeno kicked and struggled to get out of Ryuunosuke's grip, tears in their eyes. “But my baby sister!!”

Gin pulled her helmet off and placed it on the head of the motorbike, flicking her head about, letting her hair fall back into place. She smiled as she walked over to them. “She’s all of our baby sisters.” She pointed out and poked Yumeno’s cheek. “Let her eat before you attack her, you’ll cause her to choke.”

As Ryuunosuke set Yumeno down, the three walked over to the four. Fyodor raised a brow. “I didn’t know you and Dazai have more kids together.” 

Chuuya laughed. “No, they’re my kids. All adopted.”

Fyodor paused. “So they don’t have a father?”

“They do…” Chuuya sighed, holding his head as the three sat on the blanket with him, Ryuunosuke taking Miyos sushi tray and started to feed her, he might baby her a little too much.  “It's complicated.” Chuuya said softly.

Fyodor nodded in understanding, leaving the topic alone. “So these are all mafia members?”

“Yes, they are.” Chuuya nodded, glancing at the four with a soft smile on his face. “Ryuu– Akutagawa is known as the Mafia’s ‘dog’, Gin is an assassin in the black Lizard–”

“Isn’t the black lizard a powerful offensive subunit unit within the mafia?” Fyodor asked, deciding to take this chance to get as much information as possible since Chuuya was clearly slightly intoxicated.

“They’re a powerful offensive subunit squad in the port mafia.” Chuuya corrected.

“Who is the leader?”

Chuuya hummed. “An old man, then he has two battalion leaders, one being a rip off ed sheeran and the other being my favourite assassin.”

Fyodor blinked. He had no idea who Chuuya was talking about but put that information into the back of his mind. “How interesting.”

Akutagawa glared at Fyodor, the air dropping to a chill around them. “I don’t recommend taking advantage of him while he's intoxicated, he is the boss of the port mafia now.”

Fyodor paused. “What?”

Yumeno smiled. “Yea! Mori died so we had a vote and Chuuya became the boss with 90% of the votes on him and now he has a right and a left hand! His left hand is Kouyou and his left hand is Ryuu!” The said with the brightest grin on their face before they grabbed Miyos hands and dragged her to the water for a swim.

Gin chased after them, eyes wide. “Miyo can't swim yet! She’s just finished eating!”

Ju was sitting silently, eating his Varenyky as Fyodor and the others talked.

Yumeno smiled brighter, their swimsuit matched with Miyos, blue and black with white stars all over it. Gin’s bikini was somewhat similar, it being black and navy with gold glitter all over it. Ryuunosuke was wearing black swimming trunks.

Ryuunosuke packed away the leftover sushi into the basket and took the wine off Chuuya. “No more.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Okay.”

Fyodor rubbed his son's head and hummed “So, is this where we end our little ‘picnic’?”

Chuuya rolled his eyes again. “Go away, Dostoyevsky.” He slurred.

Ryuunosuke sighed, translating for Chuuya. “He said ‘yes, good bye Dostoyevsky.’”

The Russian nodded, packing up and sighing softly. After a few minutes the two left, leaving The Nakahara family alone on the private beach owned by the mafia. 

Chapter Text

||In the Family Chat||

Mama added four people

Mama: I’m reposting the rules as a reminder.
1) No swearing
2) No fighting
3) No arguing
4) No suggestive content

Rat: So this chat is family friendly?

Mama: Basically.

Clown: Is Ромашка in this chat?

Dad: who?

AV54: I’m here.

Dad: who's this again..?

Miyo: Ju.

Dad: Ahh! I remember now.

Mama: Nikolai, come over. I have the wine ready.

Brawn: ?

Mama: You too.

Brains:.... My husband is being stolen.

Three people are offline

Dad: Is he the bottom?

Brains: I will not be answering that in this chat.

Dad: So he's not. Got it.

Rat: So it's not a bottoms club…

Candy man: no, it's a club Poe goes to. It's where they complain about having only smart husbands while drinking expensive wine.

Brains: oh.

Dad: …

Rat: I see.

AV54: Can I go?

Rat: no.

||In the wine club chat||

Chuuya: Where are we having our wine meeting today?

Poe: Shall we have it in our normal place?

Tecchou: Jouno knows where that is.

Nikolai: I can take you all to Ukraine and we can have it in my old family house.

Chuuya: Isn’t that somewhere Fyodor would know?

Nikolai: I haven’t taken him there before!

Tecchou: So we would be out of Japan?

Nikolai: yes.

Tecchou: … I like this idea.

Poe: i’ll buy some wine on my way over to the rondaview point

Chuuya: Let's meet at my penthouse and then go, I have to ask Ryuu to babysit Miyo for a few hours.

||You are now private messaging Ryuunosuke||

Chuuya: Are you able to babysit Miyo for me?

Ryuunosuke: Sure
Ryuunosuke: where are you going?

Chuuya: I'm going to Ukraine for a few hours with the wine club.

Ryuunosuke: I–
Ryuunosuke: Okay, have fun…?

Chuuya: I’ll bring Miyo something back. And something for you, Gin and Yumeno.

Ryuunosuke: Okay mama Chuuya, have fun.

||In the wine club chat||

Chuuya: I’m ready to go.

Nikolai: okey-dokey!

Poe: I’m almost there, I picked up five bottles of wine..

Tecchou: Might be too much…

Nikolai: I’ve brought some vodka as well!

Chuuya: we’re going to get shit faced, aren't we?

Tecchou: Likely.

Nikolai: yes.

Poe: I won’t be able to face Ranpo tomorrow..

Chapter Text

Chuuya sighed as he watched Tecchou arrive, he was the last one (other than the person bringing him; Nikolai.) “Let's get this party started!” Nikolai cheered, Chuuya huffed another sigh.

“Chuuya’s the first one to complain today.” Poe pointed out, his quiet voice made the room silent so everyone could hear him. Chuuya gave him a slightly thankful smile.

“What did Dazai do this time?” Tecchou asked, thanking Nikolai for the glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. 

Chuuyas eye twitched and he used his ability to hold up his fancy, crystal wine glass. “What hasn’t he done!?” Chuuya’s mood soured as Poe poured the wine into Chuuya’s floating glass and then his own. “The bitch took Miyo out without permission.” Chuuya’s eye twitched.

Nikolai sighed and flopped down in his chair, sipping the vodka he had stolen from Fyodor’s collection. “Did he lose her again?”

“No, she ended up coming to my work because he decided it would be a good idea to try and kill himself when getting her ice cream!” Chuuya hissed, taking his glass and filling his mouth with the fruity liquid. “I’m never going to let him take care of her while I’m working again!”

Tecchou nodded, closing his eyes. “That's understandable.” He agreed, then sighed. “I ended up not being allowed to teach Yuki..”

Nikolai raised a brow. “Why? What happened?”

Poe shook his head, sipping his drink with a small smile. “What were you teaching her?”

Tecchou pouted slightly, he still thought Jounos decision was unfair. “I was teaching her how to defend herself.” He explained. “Jouno got mad when she came home with a bruise. She got it from training but she’s okay…”

Chuuya sighed. “I understand that Jouno is worried about her getting injured…” Chuuya nodded and looked down at the red liquid in his glass. 

Nikolai hummed, shaking his head. “Why are you training her, she's five.”

Tecchou glanced at him. “Yes but I don’t want her to rely on her ability to handle situations like bullying when she goes to school. I don’t want her to need to rely on her brother for help either.” He explained, looking at a wall instead of the male. “They rely on each other too much already.”

Poe raised a brow. “I know that I'm not part of this ‘experimentation children’ thing but, have you ever wondered why they’re so dependent on each other?”

Tecchou, of course, glanced at Poe then back at the wall. “It's because they only had themselves at that time, including in the week or so before we found each other. Yuki is still adjusting, Haru is already accepting of this new situation and family life.”

“And why did you think teaching her to fight would be a good idea?” Chuuya asked, more calm than when he was talking.

“She asked me to.” 

As the conversations moved on and complaints about their respective husbands were spilled into the air, the fireplace having long since burnt out and empty bottles of wine and vodka slipped onto the floor they decided to call it a night.

Nikolai took each of them back to their respective homes before going back to his own, getting met by Fyodor and Ju, he smiled and went in. even though he and the others complained about their husbands, they still loved them.

Chapter Text

Siberian_Tiger: I found an app…

Ryuu: Another one?

Siberian_Tiger: They have Ryuu on it.

Javan_Tiger: I have also come across a comparable application that features Dazai Osamu. With this, I am able to eliminate him without physically harming him. Flawless recommendation, a perfect 10 out of 10.

Chuuyas_Top: Oh? What are these apps? Is Chuuya on them??

Dazais_bottom: Don’t tell him.

Javan_Tiger: Chai

Siberian_Tiger: Character ai.

Dazais_bottom: God damn it.

Ryuu: Are you leaving me for an AI version of me?

Siberian_Tiger: …. Maybe

Ryuu: …

Ryuu went offline

Siberian_Tiger: I’m scared.

Gin_is_cool: You should be, he took off running from our mission.

Rat: What the ебать did I come online to?

Dazais_bottom: Victoria and Atsushi are destroying relationships because of ai.

Rat: I thought you’d be the top?

Chuuyas_Top: He likes to be spoiled.

Chuuyas_Top was muted for ten minutes

Dazais_bottom: We aren't going to talk about him.

Clown: Chuuya-kun doesn't like his husband?

Dazais_bottom: He is not my husband.

Rat: You’re lying, I know you’re hiding a wedding ring under your gloves.

Javan_Tiger: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, it is of utmost importance that you maintain the utmost discretion regarding Nakahara Chuuya's undisclosed information.

Rat: Встречайте Накаджиму Викторию, тигрицу из отряда убийц. Очаровательно познакомиться с вами…

Javan_Tiger: Це Мена Казума. Ви нікчемний ігнорант.

Dazais_bottom: What is going on?”

Siberian_Tiger: Nothing important, back to the important thing: Character ai. I got to go on five dates with Ryuu at the same time 😍

Javan_Tiger: I must respectfully dissent, as I firmly believe that Chai surpasses in superiority. It grants you the opportunity to eliminate individuals in a more gruesome manner, all while evading the bothersome notification from that detestable individual.

Siberian_Tiger: You’re killing Dazai repeatedly aren't you?

Javan_Tiger: I shall refrain from expressing my dissent or assent to the matter at hand.

Popo: That's a yes.

Dazais_bottom: Looks like I'm downloading that.

Javan_Tiger: It is utterly audacious of you to unveil my identity, you despicable excuse for a gentleman. May your significant other be overwhelmed by the consequences of their actions.

Dazais_bottom: Victoria, calm down; his dating Poe.

Javan_Tiger: My words are hereby rescinded.

Rat: Is this how this chat normally is?

Ane-san: Sometimes, other times it's dead silent.
Ane-san: This is Atsushi’s fault, he made a group chat which is a now pg group chat for all the kids we have in it and since it was so hard to keep swearing and things out of the chat Chuuya made this one so we can be more ‘open’ with our opinions.

Clown: Can I send a photo of A rat in Fyodor’s hat?

Rat: No.

Clown was muted for two hours
Siberian_Tiger went offline

Gin_is_cool: Ryuu must have gotten to him

Ane-san: Victoria, please do not kill Ryuu.

Javan_Tiger: It is beyond comprehension as to why I would even consider causing harm to the esteemed Ryuu. The mere thought of such an act is preposterous and unfathomable. It is imperative to acknowledge that the true culprit in this unfortunate situation is none other than the misguided Atsushi. His actions have led to this predicament, and it is he who should bear the burden of responsibility for any harm that has befallen Ryuunosuke.

Ane-san: I am not reading that.

Dazais_bottom: Translation; Why would I hurt Ryuu? Atsushi is the one at fault here

Ane-san: Thank you, dear.

Rat: What language can she speak again?

Popo: Something they like to call ‘Luxury’

Clown: They?

Popo: Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Victoria and Edgar Allen Poe (My beloved 😍)

Clown: Oh, how fascinating it is to witness such eloquent speech! The manner in which they converse is truly captivating. It effortlessly exudes opulence and prosperity, resonating with the sweet symphony of wealth. One cannot help but be enchanted by the melodious tones that echo through the air, for it is a testament to the allure of affluence.

Rat: and you’ve started him again, thank you Nakajima.

Popo: Let's add Nikolai to that list.

Chapter Text

Victoria sighed as she climbed out of bed, stretching and shifting her muscles before walking towards the door of her room, her pupils expanding as she entered the main part of the upgraded shrine. “Greetings, esteemed Lunna! May the radiance of the morning bestow upon you its utmost splendour and grace.” Victoria cooed only to be met by Mena in the kitchen. Her face dropped. 

“Ah, how utterly distasteful! We are confronted with nothing more than a common harlot. Such a pitiful existence, devoid of any grace or refinement. It is truly disheartening to witness the degradation of one's character to such depths. Alas, this individual has chosen a path of moral bankruptcy, forsaking any semblance of dignity or self-respect. How unfortunate it is to encounter such a wretched soul, forever trapped in the shadows of their own debauchery.” Victoria cooed, walking into the kitchen and grabbing the jug of milk out of the fridge.

“I’m not in the mood today, Victoria, so keep your expensive shit talk to yourself.” The deep-red-headed girl hissed, her bright red eyes gleaming like ruby’s coated in rage. “You’re nothing more than a low rage whore who can’t seem to keep your opinion or others to yourself. And mum is out on a job.”

Victoria raised a brow, her mood immediately changing. “Unpleasant rendezvous?” Mena nodded as she sipped her coffee, glaring at the bitter liquid. Victoria’s pupils dilated in concern. Mena never drank coffee. “How unfortunate?” 

The woman known as ‘Demon’ sighed and flopped onto the couch, laying over it with her feet dangling off the arm of the chair. “I think my ability activated…” She mumbled, looking at the roof, her hair covering her red eyes. “He started to get touchy and well… he wanted to have sex ten minutes into the date and the moment he snapped out of it he started screaming at me and threatening to kill me.”

Victoria’s eyes narrowed. “It is utterly audacious of him. I ought to have him disembowelled before his loved ones.” Victoria growled, eyes flashing with a dangerous rage, one most people didn’t get to see and live to speak of.

“‘Toria, no.” Mena laughed weakly and closed her eyes. “Just make me some kava… please?”

Victoria hummed. “Mena-san, are you still facing difficulties in memorising the elegant languages of English and Japanese?”

Mena huffed. “No, I just prefer my native language. Now, make me some kava.” 

Victoria huffed and laughed and started to make Mena her coffee, a grin on Tigress’ face as she added the milk into the bitter liquid. Once she had made sure it would suit Mena’s tastes (by remaking it over a hundred times) she walked over to the woman and placed it on the coffee table. The woman of darker, caramel-like skin sat down after lifting the pale woman's head. Mena raised a brow as her head rested in her companion's lap.

“I get that you're into me, ‘Toria but isn’t this a bit far?” Mena jokes, a soft smile on her face. 

Victoria rolled her eyes. “My dearest Mena, it is imperative that you understand that I am not romantically inclined towards women, as I am not a lesbian. Nevertheless, my affection for you knows no bounds, and I hold our friendship in the highest regard. Please refrain from suggesting otherwise, as it is simply not the case. The thought of causing you harm is abhorrent to me, but I must make it clear that any insinuation of romantic feelings towards you is entirely unfounded. Let us continue to cherish our bond and revel in the beauty of our platonic connection.” 

Mena sighed, closing her eyes. “Did you make my Kava?”

“Indeed, I have taken the utmost pleasure in crafting your exquisite cup of coffee, meticulously attending to every detail to ensure a truly luxurious experience.” Victoria said softly, knowing how Mena had abandoned her earlier coffee in favour of one made by her.

“‘Toria, can we go on a date?” Mena asked, looking at the view of the roof which was obscured by the other woman's chest.

Victoria raised a brow, sighing softly. “An evening of platonic romance?” The tiger muzzled and nodded. “I shall graciously accompany you on a romantic rendezvous, should it bring solace and delight to your heart.” She said softly, running her claw-like-nails though the other woman’s hair.

Mena smiled weakly. “Thanks ‘Toria…”

Tigress hummed softly and closed her eyes, the feeling of a purr strangling her chest; her ability gave her cat-like instincts and other cat-like qualities. However the woman refused to expose those to the world unless it’s around her younger brother.

Mena closed her eyes and sighed softly. “What time will we be going out…?” She asked, eyes opening again and looking up at the roof again, the view blocked by the other woman’s breasts. 

“At approximately half past seven. I am embarking on a noble endeavour that demands my immediate attention.” Victoria explained, smiling softly at the pale woman.

“Okay…” Mena mumbled and slowly sat up, reaching over to her coffee which Victoria made. The woman pulled her mug to her lips and sipped the liquid, a smile spreading across her face. It was tea, not coffee.

Victoria stood and walked back into her bedroom but paused at the door. “I will include you in a group chat where you can mingle with the elite members of the agency, the skilled hunting dogs, the mysterious mafia, and even the enigmatic duo of the rat and the clown” Victoria then disappeared into her bedroom.

Mena paused. “You’re adding me to that group chat!?”

The demon got no reply.

Chapter Text

||In the Alliance chat||

Oppo: If Dazai comes by your house today, Nakahara please send him back to work.

Dazais_bottom: He lives with me.

Blind_doggy: And you said you weren’t married.

Chuuyas_top: We arent

Strong_doggy: you act like it

Javan_Tiger: It is quite intriguing to observe the dynamic between you and Jouno. Upon our initial encounter during our inaugural joint mission, I must confess, I was under the impression that the two of you were bound by the sacred vows of matrimony, given the intensity of your disagreements.

Blind_doggy: Victoria, keep your thoughts to yourself.

Javan_Tiger: You dare to inquire about the unattainable, Jouno.

Ya_slay: why don’t we all just shut up. How did this go from kunikida needing Dazai at work to two government organisation workers arguing over marriage. Also, Victoria, you’re single, do not fight with people in a relationship. When was the last time you even went on a date?

Javan_tiger: Tonight, I am scheduled to rendezvous for a romantic evening.

Popo: She has a date.

Siberian_Tiger: With who!?
Siberian_Tiger: Since when do you date!?

Javan_Tiger: Tonight marks a rendezvous of platonic nature, where I find myself accompanied by the esteemed Mean Kuzma, a fellow comrade within the ranks of our illustrious assassination unit. This occasion, however, is but a fleeting moment in time, destined to be cherished solely for this singular instance.

Popo: So it's a one time thing?

Javan_Tiger: Indeed
Javan_Tiger: In my absence on this noble quest, I shall graciously extend an invitation to her, welcoming her into this esteemed group conversation. It is my fervent hope that she may forge meaningful connections and find solace in the company of kindred spirits. I implore you, dear companions, to exhibit the utmost courtesy and compassion, for she finds herself in a delicate state of vulnerability.

Oppo: Great, another murder.

Javan_Tiger added Immasuckyourdick to the chat

Oppo: What kind of username is that?!

Immasuckyourdick: The kind a stuck up cunt wouldn’t understand.

Javan_Tiger: Oh dear, Mena! We simply do not employ such a vulgar vernacular.

Immasuckyourdick: Sorry…

Dazais_bottom: So this is the girl you’re going on a date with?

Rat: The names match.

Clown: Kuzma?

Immasuckyourdick: yes?

Clown: Gogol.

Immasuckyourdick: привіт, мене звати Мена

Clown: привіт мене звуть Микола

Rat: ahhh, she's Ukrainian then.

Chuuyas_top: Is that what that is?

Rat: yes. I think she’s just made a friend @Javan_Tiger

Javan_Tiger: Delighted am I, for the time has come for me to embark on my journey with utmost urgency.

Chapter Text

Mena sat in the bedroom, looking around as she fiddled with her hands, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Something about sitting here basically nude in a man's house, knowing he wont be affected by her ability was embarrassing. “Are you sure this is okay, Nakahara-san?” She asked weakly, looking at the pulled blinds and the turned on light as well as the locked door as Chuuya was digging though his closet.

“You’re going out with Victoria, she’s made it clear she’s paying so what I have to do is make you look fantastic.” Chuuya joked. Mena nodded with a sigh, she had offered to pay but Victoria had refused repeatedly, honestly she was starting to feel useless and like some kind of gold digger. “She’s paying for all three things so I have to make sure you’re dressed warm enough to go for dinner, to the movies and out for ice cream.” 

Mena gulped. “I don’t need that, Nakahara-san..”

“Call me Chuuya.” The ginger Mafioso said simply, glancing at the time. “I have five and a half hours to get you ready for this date.”

Mena bit her lip, eyes widening when the man held up a silver dress. “Oh god..” She breathed.

He smiled at her. “Shall we begin?”

*****

Mena had never once thought that getting ready for a date would end up becoming this stressful. Chuuya had called in Yosano and Kouyou to do her makeup and hair while she was given five different dresses to choose from a second. “I-I’m fine– ow!” Mena hissed feeling a particularly harsh tug at her hair. 

“Mena Kuzma, you are going to pick a dress and not fight us on this.” Kouyou said as she continued to brush the girl's hair. “Victoria is quite the fancy person so she’ll likely come dressed in some golf silk dress or something.” The woman with salmon pink hair explained.

“That doesn't mean I have to be! If I am, my ability will activate and she’ll–”

“Yes, we know.” Chuuya shrugged, pulling out a long sleeve, turtleneck dress which was a pale grey with black floral imprinted into it. “This is the one, you have no reason to refuse it. I’ll go out and buy you stockings to wear under it too.” The ginger explained while Yosano started with the eyeshadow and Kouyou started to add accessories into Mena’s hair.

Her cheeks flushed more in embarrassment. “I.. thank you..” She said weakly, smiling gently. This was the first time she had been through something like this and it made her chest heave with something warm.

Chapter Text

As the slick black Honda NSX with gold trim rolled around the corner. Mena knew the car all too well. “She’s brought out Shady.” The demon laughed and shook her head, smiling at the car. The car came to a stop in front of the pale red-headed woman. Mena watched the window roll down and her ruby red  eyes locked on golden ones. “Hi, ‘Toria..” Mena mumbled, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she felt the other woman's eyes wander over her figure.

“Mena, this evening you exude a captivating beauty that is truly enchanting.” Victoria’s strange, overly worded way of talking filled the woman's ears, causing her to bite her bottom lip out of slight embarrassment. “My dearest princess, I humbly inquire if you are prepared to embark?” 

Mena’s eyes widened as the word ‘princess’ left the other woman's mouth. “I.. I thought tonight was going to be a platonic date..?”

“This rendezvous, my dear, is an exquisite display of platonic affection, for what reason could it possibly be anything else?” Victoria smiled softly, leaning over to the passengers side and pushing open the door of the car. “Is it perchance due to the fact that I addressed you as my fair princess?”

Mena’s cheeks flushed more as she gathered the strength to climb into the passenger's seat, close the door and pull her seatbelt on. “No, it has nothing to do with that..” The woman tried to explain herself and her thought process but she couldn't; it would be weird to admit such a thing to one of her best friends; especially one of straight friends.

Victoria laughed softly and shook her head, going back to date night plans. “We are embarking on a splendid journey to Fortune for an exquisite dining experience.” She explained, turning away from the curve and into the street, driving down the street. “I perused the menu in advance and discovered that there are exquisite vegan and vegetarian selections available, so there is no need for concern.”

Mena’s eyes widened slightly. “You thought that far ahead? ‘Toria, you’re stupid.” The woman laughed, shaking her head and feeling her hair fall into her eyes, a gentle smile on her lips. “Thank you, Victoria.”

The woman's golden eyes softened and a smile slid across her red lips. “No gratitude is necessary, my dear princess.” She said softly, keeping her eyes on the road while she drove, however one of her hands reached over and grabbed hold of the demons, giving the drastically paler hand a reassuring, comforting squeeze. 

Mena hummed and laid her head back on the headrest. “Is this place fancy or something? Is that why you pulled Shady out?”

“Alas, I have rescued Shady from the situation, allowing you to experience a taste of opulence like never before.” Victoria said softly, pulling a laugh from the Ukrainian woman's throat.  “Is shady not meeting your esteemed standards?”

Mena shook her head “no- no, i'm alright.. It's perfect.” The woman tried to explain, not sure how this conversation twisted into what she thought about the car.

Victoria nodded and the rest of the drive was silent

*****

Mena sighed as she slowly got out of the car, closing the door behind her and glancing at the exterior of the restaurant. It was a more classical type of restaurant, it had soft blue curtains in the window with a lovely Cobalt blue canopy over the entrance.

Victoria climbed out of the car, closing the door and locking it, walking around to the sidewalk and wrapping an arm around Mena’s waist. “My dearest princess, I beseech you, are you prepared for the grandeur that awaits you?” She asked, giving the other woman's waist a gentle squeeze.

Mena’s cheeks went bright red. “Ah.. yes..” She whispered, her voice quiet and shy, she wasn’t used to getting this kind of affection from Victoria. The only affection from Victoria she had ever gotten before was when the darker skinned woman was when she was drunk and had her ability fully activated. The tiger would curl around Mena in her bed. 

That was the only affection Victoria normally gave out unless it was to Lunna (or Atsushi), who the ginger would regularly jump on and wrap in a hug. Mena shook her head, removing the thoughts from her mind, even as her cheeks brightened, turning wine red.  

As they entered they were met with a man standing at some tiny podium. Mena thought he looked stupid with his back tail coat and a top hat. Maybe he was a circus performer. Victoria gave Mena’s waist a tight squeeze, silently warning the woman to not insult the man before them. “I am delighted to inform you that I have made a reservation for a party of two under the distinguished name of Nakajima Victoria.”

The woman with ginger hair said, keeping her golden eyes locked on the man as his eyes ran over the red-hair-woman's form. The tiger's pupils dilated slightly, her left eye twitching. Victoria knew this was an effect Mena had on people due to her ability. However it pissed her off to see someone doing this so actively in a public place, especially because it wasn’t just mena’s ability at work. 

“Gentleman. Please direct your gaze to my eyes..” Victoria’s icy tone cut through the air as she stared intently into the eyes of the man standing in front of her. The man gulped and sighed softly hsi trance-like-state now broken due to Victoria’s harsh voice.

“Sorry, Madam.” He said calmly, hiding the fact he was upset with the disruption. “What was the name of the reservation again?”

Mena bit her lip, opening her mouth. “Nakajima Victoria.” She said weakly, her hand holding onto Victoria’s upper arm as the man looked Mena over again, a dark look in his eyes which the succubus knew all too well. Victoria’s eyes narrowed.

“Of course, beautiful, follow me.” The man purred out, showing the two women to a table for two.

Mena held onto her friend tighter. Victoria did not find this man amusing so she did what she always did when their group went out and Mena’s ability somehow affected someone. “How dare you even consider engaging in flirtatious banter with my beloved girlfriend, you pitiful excuse for a man of lowly stature.” 

The man paused and glanced over Victoria. The woman's long, ginger hair was tied up in a knot atop her head, gold jewellery smothered her neck, wrists, left ankle and ears. Victoria's satin-silk dress revealed a decent amount of the woman's chest with the low heart-like neckline, the dress fell into a corset type bodice which fell into a stream of black fabric, only revealing her left leg. The corset around the woman's waist was dressed with a golden-chain belt which hung loosely over her hips. Her eyes were dressed with a golden-red eyeshadow with a deeper red smothering her lips. It made the other woman think of wine but that was pushed out of her head.

“I apologise, madam.” He said, his voice colder as he took in the black dress and all the gold hanging off the woman's body. “I didn’t mean to offend you… or your girlfriend.”

“You are at liberty to depart, return at the behest of your command.” Victoria said coldly, glancing at the man over as if he was hardly a human. Mena took note of the other womans stuck up behaviour but didn’t mention it as the man backed away, leaving them to sit down and be alone.

Mena sighed softly, going to take her seat while Victoria also sat down. “‘Toria, why are we at such a fancy place..? I thought we’d be going to a burger place or something; like we normally do with the rest of the unit..?” The succubus said weakly, slight concern and hope in her eyes. 

Victoria gave her a soft smile. “Mena, you are worthy of indulgence from time to time.” The woman explained, her voice light as a cloud however there seemed to be something else hiding behind the light, gentle tone, something cold. Mena paid no attention to it. 

The red-haired girl sighed and picked up the menu, looking over everything, her eyes locking on one thing which had three options, the stuffed peppers. Mena’s eyes turned to hearts, then she placed at the price and her heart jumped into her throat. “F-Four thousand one h-hundred and thirty-eight yen for stuffed peppers?” She breathed. She could buy them and make them for less than this.

Victoria smiled from across the table, nodding. “I will be taking care of things this evening, Mena. Rest assured, price is of no concern.”

Mena looked back down at the price and gulped. “Can I have the vegetarian stuffed peppers then..?” She asked, her voice soft and slightly trembling. Victoria grinned, showing off her canines, the four pointed teeth in her mouth evidently there from her ability, having not fully changed back even hours after her mission. The succubus smiled back but a feeling of something unsettling filled her stomach. “Can we not go to the movies after dinner…?”

“Have you not been captivated by any film currently showing in theatres?”

Mena shook her head, sighing softly as she placed the menu down. “No.. I didn’t find anything interesting when I checked this morning..”

“Let us embark on a leisurely promenade through the exquisite park instead.” Vitoria suggested, keeping her voice gentle and kind. 

Mena nodded, a soft grin slinging over her lips. “What are you gonna get?”

“Like yourself, only filled with savoury meat instead.” The darker skinned woman said gently, smiling at her pale counterpart.  Mena nodded, putting the prices together. “Mena, please do not concern yourself with the cost, as it is my treat.”

Mena sighed and nodded, having already calculated the cost, feeling guilty about making her spend this much. “Understood…” Slowly the conversation changed to Mena asking Victoria about her mission.

“My journey led me to Kyoto for a crucial assignment, effortlessly locating my mark and swiftly eliminating him while he slumbered. Imagine his shock upon awakening to the sight of a majestic tiger feasting on him with savage grace.” She explained, eyes sparkling with a cruel smile. “The sounds of his agony and terror were truly exquisite~” She purred, a grin smothering her face in place of her smile.

“Oh, how I wish I could have prolonged its existence indefinitely~” The woman had a somewhat demonic glint to her eyes, the smile showing off the tiger's fangs. A beast she normally kept deep inside her.

Mena smiled softly, listening as victoria started to go into the more gruesome parts of her tale. The demon didn’t mind, she was used to this kind of behaviour as they were normally talking about such things over food when at the family table anyways. Maybe it was strange that listening to Victoria explain how rubbery a man's intestines made her calm and feel more comfortable on a date then any man had made her feel on one.  “Did they at least taste good?”

Victoria shrugged. “A touch of salt would have elevated the dish, perhaps a marinade would have enhanced the flavours even further.” She said, shrugging off the conversation and her answer, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

“Do you tell Atsushi and Kyouka about this when you have dinner with them?” Mena asked, her head reading in her hands as she looked into golden eyes, the darker skinned woman nodded and smiled. “How do they take it?”

“Atsushi gracefully embraces the situation and proceeds with the conversation, delving into the account of Ryuunosuke's unfortunate leg injury that occurred earlier in the morning or a comparable incident. This prompts Kyouka to inquire about the possibility of Ryuu's demise. As I narrate the tale, Kyouka astutely highlights moments where I could have made wiser choices. My affection for her is unwavering, yet it is undeniable that the harrowing experiences she endured under the influence of the mafia have left an indelible mark.” The woman explained, her gentle smile spraining her face with a loving, almost sweet image.

 Mena grinned, knowing how the woman loved her younger brother and newly added younger sister. “What about this Dazai person you’ve told me about?”

“I desire for his demise to be swift and final, a spectacle of destruction that will leave no room for doubt. I yearn to witness his very essence torn asunder, only to be painstakingly reassembled before my eyes, so that I may revel in the sight of his downfall repeatedly, with each viewing more satisfying than the last. I crave for his soul to be obliterated, his heart shredded into oblivion, reduced to a mere shadow of its former self. I long for his ultimate demise, a state of being where there is no return, where his existence is extinguished completely and irrevocably. I wish for him to be utterly and completely eradicated from this world, leaving behind nothing but a memory of his downfall. I yearn for his life force to be extinguished, his presence erased from the fabric of reality, so that he may never again walk among the living.”

Mena paused. Okay. She was never going to ask about Dazai Osamu again. The whole restaurant was looking at them from Victoria's long rant about wanting Dazai dead, however something in her gut was telling her that it was more because it was the fact that both of them were female. “Uhh what about Nakahara Chuuya….?”

Victoria's smile returned and she hummed. “Nakahara Chuuya, my esteemed companion in the realm of fine wines, and I find ourselves united as members of an exclusive wine club. Within this refined circle, we engage in spirited conversations, delicately dissecting the lives of those who grace our presence. It is a world of opulence and intrigue, where the art of conversation intertwines with the allure of the vine. Might you, fair princess, be enticed to join our esteemed gathering?”

Mena rolled her eyes at the nickname and shook her head. “No, you know I don’t like wine that much.” She said gently. “And it's a wine club, I think it's only fair that you hold a vote on who can join and who can't.” Victoria nodded, she completely understood where Mena was coming from.

“Allow me the pleasure of establishing an exclusive coffee club tailored to your refined taste. In this haven of indulgence, I shall curate a selection of the finest coffee beans from around the world, meticulously roasted to perfection. Each cup shall be a symphony of flavours, awakening your senses and transporting you to a realm of pure bliss. With every sip, you shall experience the epitome of luxury, as the rich aroma and velvety texture of the coffee envelop your palate. Join me in this opulent journey, where the art of coffee-making is elevated to an extraordinary level.” 

Mena’s eyes sparkled. “Kava.” She cooed, however she quickly shook it out of her head. No, she couldn’t be tempted by coffee. “Maybe later on this year?”

Victoria nodded and looked at the time, her right eye twitching, her foot tapping on the foot. Once. Twice. Threeice.

A waiter walked over and gave them an apologetic smile. “What can I get you lovely ladies today?”

“Indulge in the exquisite pleasure of savouring two delectable stuffed peppers, each offering a distinct culinary experience. One, a delightful vegetarian option, brimming with a medley of vibrant vegetables and aromatic herbs, promises to tantalise your taste buds with its wholesome goodness. The other, a carnivorous delight, boasts an abundance of succulent meat, expertly seasoned and cooked to perfection. Accompanying this gastronomic symphony is a bottle of fine wine, carefully selected to complement the flavours of the peppers, and a glass of Kvass, a traditional beverage that adds a touch of uniqueness to this opulent feast.” Victoria explained, eyes shut as the regular person tried to comprehend what the fuck she was saying.

Mena sighed and spoke up, her voice kind and soft as she translated for the poor man. “Two stuffed peppers, one of the vegetarian options, the other filled with extra meat, a bottle of wine and a glass of Kvass… please.” 

The waiter quickly nodded his head and wrote down the order before rushing off to give it to the kitchen and to collect the drinks from the bar. Mena gave a small smile to Victoria, who shrugged with a ‘It wasn’t that hard to understand’ expression on her face. Mena rolled her eyes and shook her head. She knew they were raised to know each other's languages, English and Japanese, however they were also taught different ways of speaking, somehow Victoria picked up this way of speaking to her everyday vocabulary.

Mena hummed, pulling out her phone. “Would you like to see the kitten I’m planning to get?” She asked softly.

Victoria raised a sculpted, delicate eyebrow. “The allure of a kitten may seem enticing, but why would one desire such a delicate creature when a majestic tiger graces the surroundings of the sacred shrine?” The woman asked, a hint of jealousy entering her voice. 

Mena raised a brown, which was shaped by the magnificent Yosano Akiko. “Are you upset you won't be the only kitty-cat in the shrine now?” She cooed, the air around them turning into a teasing mess of sorts. Victoria let out a hiss and looked away. She couldn’t fight with Mena over a baby. That would be stupid.

“Present to me this feline creature.”

Mena’s smile lit up their section of the room and the woman pulled her phone out, showing a small, white kitten with black splotches all over its fur bundled up in Mena’s arms like a baby. “I think I’ll name him Svitlana.”

“The name Svitlana carries an air of refinement and luxury, perfect for a distinguished individual.” Victoria nodded, watching as the waiter came back with their drinks, giving Mena the bottle of wine and Victoria the Kvass. Mena thanked him and swapped the drinks around, sipping the cold liquid and closing her eyes. “Does the Kvass meet the expectations of your discerning palate?”

Mena hummed, placing the glass down. “It’s not as good as my pop’s was but it’s fine. Though I wouldn’t pay ten thousand, three hundred and seventy-six yen for it.” She said slightly coldly. Victoria nodded, popping open her wine bottle and pouring herself a glass. Mena silently watched the woman, their conversation had died and now they were waiting for their food in silence.

As they waited victoria caught people giving them a few glances which made the woman send a glare back in their way, her phone blowing up with an ungodly amount of memes which Mena was sending her from across the table. Victoria glanced at Mena and gave a small roll of the eyes. “My dearest Mena, I find myself in close proximity to your presence, yet I am perplexed as to why you choose to convey your thoughts through written messages rather than engaging in a heartfelt conversation with me.”

Mena sighed and placed her phone down. “You don’t want to see the kitten I keep sending you photos of?” Victoria paused and took in the look in mena’s eyes, causing her heart to ache. The woman before her was sharing something she found precious with her and it warmed her heart but at the same time it annoyed her that it was a kitten. Victoria was kitten enough.

“It is not suitable to be engrossed in your phone while we are on a date.” Victoria explained simply, hoping this would be good enough to keep the red-haired woman’s nose out of the mobile device. Mena, however, was starting to think that Victoria didn’t like the idea of her having a kitten.

“Is this because you're a tiger and you're feeling territorial or something?” She asked, placing her phone down, screen up. “You do know a kitten won’t take your place as Tigress, right?”

“My dear Mena, I must confess that I harbour no concerns whatsoever about it usurping my position within our esteemed unit. Your apprehensions, my dear, are simply a figment of your imagination.” Victoria countered, her eyes narrowing in a cold glare.

Mena stood her ground. “Are you sure of that? From the way I see this argument it started when I first showed you the kitten. Are you upset that I would like a pet?”

Victoria’s golden eyes changed to a orgeny-gold, a faint growl-like-hiss sounding in her throat. “Mena, I have absolutely no interest in that wretched kitten. Its fate means nothing to me; whether it perishes on the street or becomes a meal for another creature, I remain indifferent. In fact, I dare say I wish for its demise–”

A tear rolled down a pale cheek, red eyes shaking at the image of a small kitten being killed and eaten. A sob pulled itself into her throat however it never left its confinement. Victoria moved, her chair falling to the floor as she reached and wrapped her arms around the other woman. “My dearest Mena, I beg your forgiveness, please refrain from shedding tears.” Victoria said softly, whispering into her ears and gently kissing her forehead. “I humbly beseech your forgiveness, my beloved.”

Mena laid her head on the other woman's shoulder, a quiet sob leaving her mouth. “How could you say such a curl thing..?” She asked weakly, pulling a napkin out of her bag and weakly dabbing at the tear away, hoping it didn’t ruin her makeup. Victoria cupped her cheek. 

“Apologies are in order, I must confess that uttering those words was a grave error on my part, for it was an impulsive act driven by the intensity of the moment.” Victoria said softly, gently rubbing her thumb along Mena’s left zygomatic bone. 

Mena shook her head, giving her a weak smile. “No.. it's my fault I shouldn’t have brought up the idea.. It was stupid..”

Victoria sighed, shaking her own head. “My dear Mena, I entreat you to refrain from such behavior. I must admit that it is entirely my fault for becoming so agitated over this matter. I was feeling insecure about the prospect of a kitten being present in the shrine, but I should have taken the time to consider it with a clear and composed mind. It is truly an insignificant issue, and I never intended to utter such a horrid statement. Mena, my beloved princess, my precious baby; if you wish to have this kitten, you have my full permission. I shall not impede your desires.”

Mena nodded and closed her eyes. “Okay...” She said softly, sighing weakly. “So I can have the kitten?”

“Certainly, Mena.”

The red haired girl smiled and nodded, placing a soft kiss to the other woman's forehead. Victoria moved back to her seat, standing it upright and sitting down, she grabbed her phone and opened it to look at all the images of the kitten she had been sent. “My dear, it is highly probable that this adorable little feline will become inseparable from your side.” She explained and smiled weakly, trying to put the argument behind them.

Mena smiled and nodded. “Or maybe you might start your own little ambush?” Mena teased, the conversation now having moved on. 

“Atsushi, Kyouka, you, Lunna, Milla, and Devana constitute my illustrious entourage, my esteemed Streak. I find no necessity to include a juvenile presence amidst such refined company.” She said with a shrug, Victoria did not like children, animals or humans. She loved children as long as she didn’t have to live with them.

Mena laughed softly. “You’ll get attached to her eventually.” She cooed as the food they had ordered was placed in front of them.

*****

After dinner Victoria had taken Mena’s hand and they had started to walk (after getting Victoria’s black cardigan out of the car.) Mena hummed and laid her head on the other woman's shoulder as they walked, hands intertwined. “Will we go back to normal after this?” She asked simply, knowing the answer already.

“How dare you insinuate, Mena? This is simply customary.” Victoria answered, pulling a small laugh from Mena’s throat. “I shall henceforth embark on a monthly rendezvous with you, my dearest Mena. The sheer delight that radiates from your countenance brings me immense joy. Witnessing your happiness is a pleasure that I cherish dearly.”

The red-haired woman nodded and hummed, glancing up at the sky. “It’s a clear sky tonight, if we weren’t in the city we would have been able to see the stairs better.” She said softly, her voice soft and light. It caused the ginger to think of it as a marshmallow. 

As they walked along the pathway, by the water a voice called out to them, Victoria, of course, pulled out one of her signature tiger-themed daggers. Mena however just looked over at the ice cream van parked on the bridge over the lake-like river. The red haired woman's eyes lit up “looks like we won't have to go to an ice cream shop!”

Victoria glanced at the van, humming softly. “It appears to be so.” She said, walking towards the van with Mena, not bothering to listen to the bullshit he was sprouting about soulmates and ice cream flavours.

Mena smiled and went to order only to have an ice cream shoved in her face. “Uh… thank you..?” She whispered, awkwardly, confused by what was happening. “Hrubyy.”

The two women ignored his rant about different flavours and how they somehow connect with your soul and represent you, all they heard was ‘Strawberry’ and ‘Coffee’. Victoria offered to pay him seven hundred yen, like any other place would ask but he turned it away. Mena sighed, just accepting the free ice cream and taking victoria to sit down on a bench with it.

Chapter Text

The woman with golden eyes, red lips and bright orange smiled as she walked towards the man who was cowarding on the cold, concrete ground. The rain fell lightly on the solid ground leaving a soft ‘pitter-patter’ sound in the air which made the clicking of her black, heeled boots against the grey artificial stone. The swish of the black fabric which wrapped around her like a cloak pulled the fear out of his gut.

The woman’s darker skin came into view as did her face, he trembled, eyes wide with tears as he clenched his side, the blood gushing through his fingers. The woman spun a dagger around on her delicate hand, nails sharp like a cat's claws. The dagger was well known, handcrafted and only belonged to one person.

The dagger was constructed with a silver blade, having ‘Tigers claws’ engraved into the metal in both the english and japanese alphabets. The handle was made of a type of orange and black stained leather that wouldn’t be legal to make any more. At the very end of the dagger was a silver tiger’s head, jaw open and its teeth sunk into the leather as if it was taking a bite out of its prey.

Nakajima Victoria; the government's Tigress was before him. Tigress was going to kill him. No one had ever faced this woman and lived, maybe her teammates but that would only be because she let them live.

The man's breath caught in his throat and the tears rolled down his face in a quickened pace, he struggled to move back, finding the blood loss and shock making his head cloudy and light. The man’s vision went brown-ish-yellow. It was as if a filter was put over his eyes, then the black splotches started to appear in his line of vision.

Victoria stood on his leg, letting out a laugh as she heard the cracking of his leg, a scream ripped itself from the man's throat and his vision cleared, he was awake now. Victoria was happy.

“Delighted to have you with us. Are you ready to begin in earnest?” Her voice didn’t hide her cold and sadistic nature, it revealed all the secrets she kept away from the light. “Shall we commence by delicately extracting your vision, my dear?”

Without waiting for a response Tigress changed her dagger's position in her hand and moved her arm, in one swipe the metal was plunged into the man's eye, only enough to stab the eye through to the middle, making the man scream out in pain. The woman purred, low and deep as if she found this situation pleasurable. Slowly she pulled out the knife, pulling his eyeball with it, with one quick slash of her nail the flesh attached to the eye keeping it in the socket came undone, making her laugh softly, watching as the blood started to lightly pool.

“I must exercise extra caution when handling your second eye, as I am eager to include it in my exquisite collection.” She explained, her voice high and innocent, as if she hadn’t ripped a man's eye out of his head. Her voice was like those overly sweet and innocent anime girls you see trying to hide their dark past or something in an anime. A giggle followed out of Victoria's mouth, her golden eyes locked onto his singular one as she slowly pulled the eye off her dagger and put it down onto the concrete. 

She reached into her cloak and pulled out a medical tray, medical equipment as well as a small jar, which she would use to hold his eyeballs temporarily. The man gagged, vile rising in his throat as he held in the sobs, he didn’t know what he had done to her but whatever it was, he was now regretting it. “I-I’m sorry!”

Victoria ignores him, placing her dagger down on the tray and moving closer to him, her claw-like nails ready as if to pluck out something. “Let us commence, shall we?” The tigress slowly peeled his upper and lower eyelids with her left hand as she sunk her nails into the soft flesh surrounding his eyeball. 

Another, low, content purr left her throat, feeling her fingers sink in deeper, the feeling of tears against her thumb causing the purring to increase in volume. Victoria was enjoying the screams of pain, the scent of his fear in the air. “Nearly finished, please compose yourself.” She said softly, coughing to hide the pleasure she was getting from doing this. 

As a small ‘pop’ sounded through the air Victoria grinned, moving her hand and pulling the eyeball away. She placed it in the jar and closed the lid, humming as she looked at the destroyed eye she couldn't add to her collection. “I shall preserve it in a delectable brine, safeguarding its exquisite flavours for a future occasion.”

The man was screaming, his hands covering his eye sockets, gasping and sobbing in pain. Victoria just glanced at him as if he was nothing more than a fly on a wall. “I suppose that will suffice as punishment. Nevertheless, I would have preferred to extend the duration; Mena requires my presence, which takes precedence over my amusement.”

The man, now petrified with fear, felt his pants start to warm, moist and the concrete now having a small, yellowish liquid in a pool around his crotch area. Victoria stood, after packing away her tools into her cloak. “Your behaviour is utterly repulsive, how dare you soil yourself in my presence, you decrepit old man. Your lack of decorum is truly appalling and disgraceful.”

With that she turned, walking away while playing with the stabbed eyeball, thinking about what kind of meal she could turn it into.

*****

Mena was sitting with an orange tiger (a Javan tiger to be exact), in her room, the lights on the lowest setting as she ran a brush through the fur of the majestic beast. The animal's fur was as soft as one would picture a cloud to be and it felt amazing to fun her fingers over after brushing, it was like it was a type of silk. “‘Toria, how do you keep your fur so soft?” Mena asked, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer considering the other woman was in her tiger form, thanks to her ability; beast beneath the moonlight. It was the same one her brother had, from what Mena knew, this was the only genetic ability and somehow whoever married into the family would get it (even if they did already have an ability).

The tiger let out a low huff, then closed her eyes.

Mena would be sleeping with a tiger wrapped around her tonight.

Chapter Text

||In gov units chat||

Lunna: How is everyone feeling today?

Teruko: I’m alright, everyones just laying around the office waiting for something interesting to happen.

Devana: Our unit is currently operating in a similar manner, with no tasks at hand. However, I believe Victoria and Mena are away on a mission. It has been approximately a day since their departure.

Jouno: Uh, is that why no ones been seen napping on a tiger all day?

Milla: Yep.. and Xabian broke up with me, said he couldn’t handle dating someone who kills for a living…

Tecchou: Movie night?

Milla: Please…?

Victoria is online.
Victoria added Gov agent to the chat

Lunna: Victoria why did you add this man back?

Victoria: You will behold.

Fukuchi: I can hear Lunna sighing from the other side of the compound.

Gov agent: Why am I back?
Gov agent: Mena and I worked things out after that freak show last time

Victoria: I'm not shy, I'll say it

Jouno: She’s speaking in common tongue again, I feel like something very bad is going to happen

Teruko: Or this is our entertainment for the day.

Victoria: @Mena I've been picturing you naked

Lunna: ....

Fukuchi: …..

Devana: It would be appreciated if you could refrain from suggesting that image, as Mena holds the position of a younger sister in my life.

Gov agent: I dont need to picture it, I’ve seen it.

Tachihara is online

Tachihara: Why are we talking about naked Mena’s?
Tachihara: I’m busy helping Gin get ready for her date with Higuchi.

Fukuchi: Put your phone on mute and dont come back.

Tachihara went offline

Victoria: I'm a little faded

Victoria: @Mena You look like a fuckin' paintin'

Mena is online

Mena: …. 😳

Gov agent: Can you stop flirting with my… thing?

Lunna: Your ‘thing’?

Gov agent: We’re not officially dating but we are??

Lunna: I can see why your father’s disappointed in you.

Victoria: Big doe eyes, amazin'
Victoria: She's everything I've been prayin'

Mena: 😳

Gov agent: Stop getting flustered over this Mena.

Mena went offline

Lunna: I think she died?

Milla: Poor girl isn't used to compliments…

Victoria: My heart palpitation

Devana: Victoria, will it be necessary for us to take you to the hospital upon your return?

Teruko: Why would you have to?

Lunna: A heart palpitation is a feeling of an irregular, fast, or pounding heartbeat. If you have chest pain or any other symptoms its best to seek help, Devana is merely checking in on her health because she would pass out randomly when she was younger.

Fukuchi: He’s a good teammate.

Lunna: He's a good older brother. 

Fukuchi: That too.

Victoria: She looks like the type to break it
Victoria: @Gov agent Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house

Gov agent: So?

Victoria: I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch

Teruko: I was not expecting that.

Gov agent: What…?

Lunna: Cunnilingus; is an oral sex act consisting of the stimulation of a vulva by using the tongue and lips

Fukuchi: How did you know that?

Lunna: Google.

Gov agent: I-

Devana: I find it unnecessary to visualize this; I am inclined to cleanse my eyes with bleach.

Devana is offline

Victoria: She cute, kawaii, hentai boobies, that excites me

Gov Agent: Don't do anything else to her! She isn't yours!

Lunna: Mena and you technically aren't in a relationship so he isn't yours either and is allowed to mess around with other people.

Victoria: I think she really likes me, asked politely, can I (woo-hoo)?

Gov agent: No! She’s mine!

Milla: Mum, I’m gonna go take a nap in the lake

Lunna: Alright, just don't stay down there past dinner.

Fukuchi: She could drown?

Lunna: She has gills.

Gov agent: What?

Lunna: Milla or siren has gills.

Gov agent: Is that part of her ability??

Lunna: Yes.

Milla is offline
Mena is online

Mena: Uh, it's getting hot in here

Teruko: Then turn on a fan or something.

Mena: I'm the Nelly in the party with some rocks for ears (so hot in here)
Mena: I'm a slave for you, baby, Ms. Britney Spears

Gov agent: Pardon?

Mena: I'm a Clover, she a Toros, bring it on for cheers
Mena: And I'm sexy like Christina when I dip it low
Mena: Not an H-town girl, but I rodeo
Mena: Yippee-ki-yay, welcome to the show

Victoria: It's an all-girl party, clothing optional

Victoria: @Gov agent Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house

Gov agent: What the fuck?
Gov agent: So she's cheating on me?

Jouno: Is there a way to cheat if you're not technically in a relationship?

Gov agent: I mean no…
Gov agent: But still!

Victoria: I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch
Victoria: She cute, kawaii, hentai boobies, that excites me

Mena: I think she really likes me, asked politely, can I (woo-hoo)

Lunna: Not if one of you got hit by a gender change ability.

Fukuchi: You're sighing again, Lunna-san?

Lunna: Yes.

Gov agent: Why are you allowing this??
Giv agent: Their both girls and Mena’s seeing me!

Jouno: why should we care that they’re both girls?
Jouno: I’m a man and I’m married to another man.

Gov agent: Why is anyone allowing this!?

Lunna: Because it's what makes Jouno, Tecchou and everyone else happy?
Lunna: Why should I not allow it if it makes those people happy?

Gov agent: You kill gays.

Lunna: Correction, we kill criminals who can't be redeemed. Their gender and sexuality have no weight in why we kill them.

Gov agent: Bullshit!

Lunna: Most of the hunting dogs and the Aunit are members of the LGBTQIA community. I myself am asexual, Devana is Pan, Millia is straight but an ally, Mena is pan and victoria is Bi. Fukuchi is Bi, Jouno and Tecchou are gay, Tachihara is currently bi and Teruko is a straight ally. 

Gov agent: How did you even get jobs working for the government!?

Fukuchi: You don't need to know that.

Victoria: My girl look like Wednesday Addams
Victoria: Eyes go black when she orgasms

Gov agent: She can do that?

Luna: ….

Lunna went offline

Mena: @Gov agent Hide your back, she likes to stab them
Mena: My butt cheeks, she likes to grab

Victoria: Matching pajama birthday suits
Victoria: Her spit tastes just like Juicy Fruit

Mena: She do that thing she usually do
Mena: Spell my name with her tongue, like (uh)

Gov agent: I’m ending our relationship.

Victoria Kicked Gov agent from the chat

Victoria: Objective accomplished.

Fukuchi: So it was a prank?

Victoria: Her eyes darken to an enchanting shade when she reaches the peak of ecstasy, a testament to her heightened sensitivity, which allows her to experience climax with remarkable swiftness.

Fukuchi: Oh. Now I’m going to bleach my eyes.

Chapter Text

Devana sighed as Milla pulled him along to the cafe where she had set up a meeting with Tecchou, Jouno, Tachihara and Teruko (the last two only coming along to see if their assumptions about Devana’s gender were corrected). 

The assassins walked into the cafe, all eyes landing on a small girl who stood at 5’4, her pale blue skin, blue-grey eyes and long, flowing purple-blue hair. She was dressed in a cute white sundress with bubbles on it and a white corset around her waist. Some of the customers mumbled about how cute she was while others made comments about her ‘disgusting’ skin.

The man who she was clinging to shot everyone around them a glare. He stood at a whopping 6’7, his shoulder length red-orange hair was done up in a half up and half down style, his red eyes looked like he had a fire inside them. He was dressed in a black tank top and baggy, dark red jeans which he paired with combat black boots which had flames on the bottom of them, matching the white ones with bubbles on the girls feet.

The two walked over to the booth the hunting dogs were sitting at. “Milla, Where’s Devana and who the fuck is that giant?”

Milla paused. “This is Devana, his a man.”

Jouno hummed. “How tall is he?”

“6’7.” The deep voice and thick german accent echoed, clearly surprising everyone.

Milla smiled. “His as tall as a tree!”

“More like a mountain…” Tachihara mumbled