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Tomatoes

Summary:

Remus and Janus not having a domestic.

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Cleaning had become somewhat of a self-soothing exercise for Janus. When things stressed him out too much, whenever he had too many thoughts to think, he began wiping down a counter. It helped him process, he'd figured out early on. It helped him think, and redirected his energy into something mildly productive. Perhaps if he could keep this up, Thomas would pick up the habit. Lord knows his apartment needed it. Janus was wiping down the gothic-style mirrors hanging on the walls of the darkscape living room, humming contentedly under his breath. His sleeves were rolled up, a rag in hand, when he felt the weight of a presence behind him.
"Re—"
The name was barely out of his mouth as something weighty and wet splattered onto his back, and Janus shivered, imagining every worst possibility as he turned to look with ferocity in his expression, a look that vividly said 'try me, I dare you.'
Janus cast a look around the empty living room and found a mildly-squashed tomato sitting on the vacuumed carpet a few feet away, seeping pink into the light brown.
“Remuss." Janus breathed, scowling. His syllables hissed with his s's. "How many timess have I told you? If you want my attention, just asssk, or call my name.”
A flurry of motion as Remus vaulted over the back of the couch to settle in on the couch cushions, munching on a bag of Cheetos.
Remus blew Janus a kiss, “I love you too, Dee.”
Janus’s expression twisted, and he grabbed the tomato that was bleeding over his carpets. He stomped over to Remus, and shoved it into his chest, his yellow gloves now stained.
Remus broke out giggling as he felt the wet splatter of fruit on his shirt. He looked up at Janus, both malice and affection flickering his expression.
“Food fight? Oh, you’re on.”
“You’re welcome to try, Remus, but I’m afraid I’m not in the mood for games at the moment.” Janus’s brow twitched, and he reached over and shoved the remnants of the tomato down Remus’s open collar with a curling grin. He didn't want to fall for these games, truly he didn't, but he found himself summoning a long, dark umbrella in his free hand. Just in case this escalated. Which, by the gleam in Remus's eyes, it was going to.
Remus’s grin was unnaturally wide. “Sure doesn’t look it.”
An armful of rotten fruits manifested in Dark Creativity's arms, the Cheetos bag long gone.
Remus cackled, disappearing into thin air and popping up a few feet away, beginning to throw projectiles.
Janus's grin faded as he looked around, in a mild hint of panic.
He spotted movement out of the corner of his eye and dove away, avoiding the fruit.
He opened up his umbrella as a shield, laughing quietly. “Are you sure you want to do this, Remus?”
Remus was too busy screeching cackles, and tackled Janus out of nowhere.
The two went down in a tangle of limbs and Remus wrested free the umbrella from Janus’s hand, standing up with an “AHA!” of victory.
Janus grinned up at him, and snagged his sash, yanking Remus back down. He summoned a spray bottle, and when Remus was eye level, spritzed him with soap water. As Remus hissed and writhed, Janus let out a low laugh. He snatched his umbrella back and sunk out, to reappear sitting on the back of the couch, seeming for all the world unbothered as he crossed his legs.
“Your move.”
Remus snarled, movements jerky as he instinctively scrubbed at his skin, thus making the burning rashes burn worse.
“You despicable, lying, conniving—“ Remus cackled, wheeling around, trying to pinpoint Janus’s voice. The familiar weight of his morningstar settled in his free hand, as he laughed hysterically, swinging blindly at Janus. “—snake!”
“I’ve yet to hear you utter an insult.” Janus grinned, chin propped in his palm. Tone amused, “Is violence perhaps your love language?” 
Remus was too busy cackling, as he followed the sound of Janus’s voice.
He swung again, despite the allergic reaction that burned his face. Janus hopped off the couch, giggling, despite himself, as Remus growled and spun around.
“I really think you should quit while you’re still able. Don’t you?”
Janus was equal parts amused and irritated now, since Remus never knew when to give up. Dark Creativity looked a mess, like he was a happy kid blindfolded at a birthday party with a pinata filled with candy, and not a fully-grown man holding a deadly weapon at the closest thing he had to a best friend. And yet Janus knew they played these games knowing Remus would never be the one to give up first. Pride got the best of both of them one too often, and they liked pricking each other's every once in a while, in games both delightful and infuriatingly childish. Honestly, Janus felt like he acted like he was five around Remus, because it was impossible not to. Remus had a knack for yanking people into his rhythm, his way of seeing and doing things, when you were able to hang around long enough to survive it.
Deceit ducked a nigh-deadly swing, stepped into Remus's space and he grabbed his arm. He pulled the morningstar out of his grip.
Remus resisted, and then tackled Janus, slamming them both sideways into a wall.
Janus yelped, grabbing at thin air for balance. He sat up against the wall, massaging his shoulder, irritated at himself.
Remus had found it suited him to wrap himself snug and tight around the deceitful side, and he sat up now to kiss Janus's cheek.
“Nah, but violence comes close,” Remus chuckled, looking quite content.
Janus pushed Remus’s face away.
“Your face looks like an open wound, love. Please, patch yourself up,” Janus laughed.
Remus hummed, scratching at his jaw. “I don’t know, I might like the look.”
He flashed Janus a grin, “Don’t you think it could grow on you?”
“Absolutely not,” Janus said, though neither of them particularly cared to get up or move.
Janus studied the mess he'd made of Remus's face, and had a good laugh, knocking his forehead against Remus's. He pulled him closer by the collar to kiss his temple.
Remus leaned his head against the wall, grin twitching at Janus’s infectious laugh, and he giggled.

Theo walked through to get to their room, their orange robes just now disappearing from their shoulders, fading back to their usual disguise. They noticed the mess of the hall first, and then the two sitting on the ground. Theo shook their head, waking past, “you guys can’t just cuddle like normal people. Gotta get some violence involved first.”
"You're just jelly, and you wanna join!" Remus called.
"I don't usually take blood and death threats with my cuddles, thank you."