Work Text:
CC kicked open the door to the kitchen, her hands full with paperwork and an empty coffee cup. Maxwell spending a lot of time with Fran was understandable, but that did leave the bulk of the work to her. She didn't mind, but she did feel stressed. So here she was, in the kitchen for a break, and more importantly, for more coffee.
Niles and Fran were sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea and chatting. CC didn't really pay attention and went to get some fresh coffee.
"... so where are you taking her?" CC heard Fran ask Niles. CC couldn't help but stop and listen. 'Her?'
"I asked my friend David for a reservation at his new restaurant. After dinner, we're going dancing. I have tomorrow off, so I don't need to come home." Niles waggled his eyebrows, and Fran laughed and nudged him. CC felt nauseous. She quickly got her cup and walked out.
So, Niles was going on a date. It sounded serious if he was planning to get home late or even spend the night. Well, fine. Good for him. It didn't matter. She probably felt nauseous just because she had skipped lunch.
~~~
Despite being swamped with work, CC couldn't help but notice Niles' changes over the past few weeks. He appeared more distracted yet happier, smiling and joking more, at least with others.
One day, with Maxwell and Fran away, CC hadn't seen Niles since he'd greeted her that morning. Thirsty and in need of a break, she headed to the kitchen, seeking a drink or snack, but not Niles. Never Niles.
At first, she didn’t see him; he was in the back of the kitchen, putting away groceries as she reached for the coffee pot to pour herself a fresh cup.
“Oh, what are you doing here? Not enough sacrificial victims back in your lair?” CC was startled and accidentally poured some of the coffee on the counter. She put down the pot and grabbed a paper towel to clean up the mess.
“Niles, warn a woman next time, we need to prepare ourselves before we have to look at your ancient mug.”
“Not every woman. Just your delicate sensibilities it seems. Maybe it is just hard for you to fathom that people can like other people, like me, for who they are. Probably because nobody, not even your family or friends like you. That also explains your love life, or lack thereof.” He snarled. He grabbed the paper towel from her and sighed. “Just get out of the kitchen and let me clean this mess you made.” And with that he dismissed her.
He had said similar things in the past, and she had only made a mess because he startled her, and it was his job to clean the kitchen. However, it was the tone he used and the look on his face that made it hurtful. She felt her breath hitch in her throat and tears appear in her eyes. She quickly turned around and left, glad to be back alone in the office.
She had no idea how he could get to her, but he was right; she knew not many people liked her. But somehow she thought the people in this house were starting to warm up to her. Ever since returning from The Place she had become closer with everyone, even Fran, even the kids. Even him. Especially him. They spent time together at the wedding, he made sure she got to the mansion safely so he could keep an eye on her. He had said he was worried about her mixing her medication with quite a bit of alcohol. She knew they hadn’t done anything more that night, she had woken up in the guest room, and Niles was nothing if not a gentleman. But something could have happened if they had been more sober.
For him to say now that nobody liked her, implied that the people in this household were included, implied that he was included. It stung her badly. And her love life? Ha, what love life. Sighing, she got back to work. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone. Maybe it was good that she knew exactly where she stood with the Sheffield household. Nothing more than an unlikeable business partner, an unavoidable nuisance.
These days, their arguments cut deeper than ever. While his remarks had always carried a hint of meanness, they once shared an unspoken understanding that they weren't meant to be as hurtful as they seemed to others. There were certain lines they wouldn’t cross, which would come as a surprise to anyone caught in their crossfire. Those lines were gone, and everything was fair game. CC couldn't keep up with Niles.
CC questioned whether exhaustion and stress were distorting her perception of his behaviour. She did her best to avoid him, and when they did cross paths, their interactions remained brief. She wasn't sure if she'd imagined his previous attempts to seek her out. She guessed she should be happy. She could finally work without being disturbed. But she had never felt more alone.
~~~
The Actors Fund gala was approaching, and Maxwell had excused himself, opting to take a vacation with Fran and the children. Normally, Maxwell and CC would attend together to represent Sheffield-Babcock Productions. CC felt it was necessary for her to attend, as the company needed to make a donation and an appearance. However, she required an escort.
Niles immediately came to mind since he had accompanied her as an escort on several occasions, and they had always enjoyed themselves. He was professional, adept at mingling with the event's attendees, and, if she had to admit it, looked quite dashing in a tuxedo. They made a striking pair, for the press, of course.
Upon receiving their table confirmation, she sought out Niles to ask him if he was free. She didn't doubt he would be available, although she was realising that she knew less about his plans outside the Sheffield mansion than she had thought. She had mistakenly assumed he had as active a social life as she did, which was, in reality, not very active.
She found Niles in the kitchen, finishing a phone call.
She approached Niles, saying, “Niles, the Actors Fund gala is next Saturday, and I need an escort. Are you available?” She would have made a joke out of it in the past, but their changed communication dynamics left her uncertain.
Niles looked up, his expression a mix of weariness, resignation, and annoyance. “No, I'm afraid not. Laura and I have plans to attend the opera next Saturday. And even if I were available, I don't believe it would be appropriate.”
CC was taken aback, even shocked. She hadn't considered the possibility. “Oh, yes, you're right. I apologise.” She swiftly turned and left the kitchen, ignoring Niles calling her name, without waiting to hear his response.
In the end, she attended the gala alone, which turned out fine. Her primary goal was networking, and surprisingly, no one questioned her attendance without an escort, thanks to her solid industry reputation. However, the evening left her feeling lonely.
~~~
Exhausted and plagued by restless sleep and vivid dreams, she strangely dreaded bedtime, staying up late, listening to music, and occasionally drinking.
She wondered if she was experiencing depression again, as some of her feelings seemed to align. Worried and scared that the fragile stability they had achieved in The Place might be shattered, she discussed her concerns with Dr. Bort. The doctor understood her fears but didn't believe that her return to The Place was imminent. Instead, Dr. Bort thought it had more to do with the evolving dynamics in the house, particularly the one involving Niles.
CC didn't disagree but held herself responsible for the changes. Perhaps her interpretation of things was skewed when she had just returned from The Place and was still on different medication. Maybe she had mistakenly embraced a more positive outlook.
Dr. Bort had tried to discuss Niles' new relationship and its impact on CC, but she quickly brushed it aside, insisting they had no relationship, so his girlfriend wouldn't affect their dynamics. Dr. Bort abandoned the topic, though not without hinting that CC's relationship with Niles, in whatever form, was evolving, and CC might be grappling with the loss of what they once shared.
~~~
While Dr. Bort's words offered CC some comfort by lessening her fear of losing control and returning to The Place. However, they didn't change the reality of her situation. She still struggled with sleep and felt even lonelier than before.
She gave her best effort, showing up for work and ensuring that Maxwell's shifting priorities didn't disrupt their business. She mostly kept to herself, often skipping lunch or having it in the office, and leaving before dinner. She even reduced her coffee intake, choosing water to steer clear of the kitchen, the family, and Niles.
After a demanding meeting with a self-entitled actor, CC sought a distraction. Almost reflexively, she gravitated to the kitchen, in pursuit of a snack, a coffee, and maybe an impromptu sparring match with Niles.
Entering the kitchen, CC noticed Niles and Fran engrossed in conversation at the coffee table, seemingly oblivious to her presence. She headed to the fridge in search of a snack while inadvertently overhearing their discussion.
Fran asked Niles, “When will she be transferred?” CC assumed they were discussing Niles' girlfriend.
Niles replied, “In two months. They've allowed her some extra time to find a new place and complete the relocation. She has next month off to get everything set in motion.“
Fran continued, “So, you have a month at most to decide. Well, you know what I think. When life gives you a chance at happiness, you have to take it, no matter how hard it may be. I know moving across the bridge from Queens to Manhattan isn't comparable, but Chicago isn't that far. We can visit, and so can you. And we can vacation together. I know we'll miss you, but it would be selfish to ask you to stay.” Fran rubbed Niles’ arm in comfort. “I also told Maxwell this. He'll need some time to come around. You know how he is with change.” Fran laughed, but CC winced. It wasn't just Fran’s laugh; she had grown accustomed to that. CC was in shock because she hadn't realised the seriousness of Niles' relationship. She closed the refrigerator and left the kitchen without taking anything.
She had intentionally avoided dwelling on Niles' relationship. It wasn't her place to pry into his personal life. But now, with his departure imminent, it had become all too real. She understood that he still needed to make a decision. What was anchoring him here? If the Sheffields encouraged him to leave, he would likely go. He deserved a life of his own, even if it meant relocating.
Perhaps Dr. Bort's observations had merit. Her connection with Niles was evolving, or rather, it was fading away. The old CC would have celebrated this change, but her feelings were more uncertain now.
She struggled to concentrate on her work as her thoughts frequently circled back to Niles and his impending relocation. Startled, she dropped her papers when he knocked on her office door. Niles set a tray on her desk, laden with coffee, a cold water bottle, cookies, and fruit. He leaned down to help her gather the scattered papers.
For some inexplicable reason, this filled her with rage. She seized the papers forcefully, tearing them from his grasp. “Let me handle it, Niles. You have no idea what you're doing!” She practically shouted at him
“Oh forgive me, I should have known that this was too complex for my simple servant brain.” He snarled. He stood up, wiped down his pants with his hands to clear away the dust from the floor.
“Can it Niles. Don’t you have something better to do? Gossip with the lady of the house? Dally away the afternoon with your girlfriend before you have to come home and prepare dinner for another man and his wife?”
She could see the change in him, could actually see the anger gather in his eyes.
“Listen to me CC and listen to me well. Leave Laura out of it. I don’t care how you insult me, I know you need excitement in your pathetic little lonely, loveless life. I know you cling desperately to that misplaced feeling of superiority over those less fortunate than you. But I will not stand by and have you insult my relationship and my girlfriend. That is where I drawn the line.” It was almost scary to see how calm he said these angry words.
“Look who decided to grow a backbone.” CC replied.
“Give it up. I will be leaving in a month. The Sheffields are moving on too. Stop clinging to past that wasn’t that good to begin with. Stop dragging me into these pretend fights. You are not that important. Maybe it would be easier for you if you have a partner.” He deflated, his anger leaving his body.
“Oh, a couple of months with a girlfriend and now you are an expert all of a sudden. And how would that work Niles, since I am so unloveable according to you? Nobody likes me remember.”
Niles just shook his head and with a sigh he left the office.
CC seethed with a tumultuous mix of anger and pain. How could he speak to her like that? Fuming, she packed her briefcase with some contracts to review at home and stormed out of the Sheffield mansion.
~~~
At home, she kicked off her shoes, poured a glass of whiskey, turned on some music, and nestled on the couch by the window. The world outside was teeming with people, but here, she was isolated. Alone.
She had always been a solitary soul. Her family ties had always been fragile, and friendships were few and far from deep. Her romantic past was a string of brief encounters. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, the loneliness that washed over her in this very moment was unlike anything she'd ever known. Despite an unchanging exterior, she felt as though everything she had was slipping away.
However, she was losing the things that had made life bearable. The business endured, but the elements that had once made a long workday meaningful were vanishing. The partnership with Maxwell was evolving. She couldn't help but observe his diminishing involvement in the company, prompting her to wonder when he might suggest stepping back and entrusting her with the day-to-day operations. Their conversations had become infrequent, and the gulf between their daily lives widened, particularly as his world became more intertwined with Fran, her family, their extended circle, and the children.
Compounding her loneliness was Niles' impending departure. They had frequently sought comfort in each other's presence, two individuals who stood on the periphery of the Sheffield family, never truly becoming part of it. Their demanding work had stifled their ability to lead their own lives. When the need arose, they had offered each other companionship. He escorted her to events, and she served as his date at weddings. The weird moments they were alone in the house when the family was away. They joined the Sheffields on trips and became their primary confidants when the family immersed itself in its own world. But now, Niles had constructed a new life. He was cutting ties with the Sheffields, and unavoidably, with her.
She’d be alone. Really alone.
If ever there were a more compelling reason to drink, she couldn't think of one. It had been some time since she'd indulged like this, but the urge to escape was overwhelming. She craved a respite from her thoughts, a chance to drift into oblivious sleep, even if she had to face the consequences tomorrow. In this moment, she couldn't muster the concern to care.
She had no idea why Niles had been so distant and hostile over the past few months. Even when she tried to give him space, their interactions often turned sour and hurtful. The argument they had today was their most heated ever. She was baffled by this newfound anger, especially when it was directed at her. It dawned on her that he'd never been this angry with her before.
What had he said? That she needed to find someone to love? Well, it wasn't as if men were lining up at her door to be with her. Like he claimed, she sometimes felt unlovable. Her attempts at dating often resulted in relationships unraveling before they even began. Complaints ran the gamut – some accused her of being too distant, while others felt suffocated. A few perceived her as too independent, while some labeled her as overly clingy. It was as though she could never strike the right balance.
Naturally, Dr. Bort had explored this during her therapy sessions with CC. Dr. Bort had pointed out that CC had meticulously structured her life to the point where it was challenging to accommodate a partner. She had seemingly replaced the need for a partner with the intricate social dynamics surrounding the Sheffield mansion, almost treating it as though there was no life beyond the Sheffield family and its orbiting personalities. Dr. Bort identified this as an unhealthy coping mechanism, a response to the abandonment and familial turbulence CC had endured as a child. The therapist was particularly captivated by the intricate, multifaceted relationship between Niles and CC, often hinting at the prospect of emotions deeper than mere animosity.
CC could agree she didn’t hate Niles. During her time in The Place, she'd come to realise that Niles was more akin to a friend than anything else. Their bond had grown stronger, more amicable, despite their occasional spats. Bickering had become second nature to them, a form of connection they seemed to require.
Nevertheless, she currently felt as if she were adrift in uncharted waters without a safety net. Niles was displaying a change in behaviour, indicating that her presumed role within the family's dynamic had been built on faulty assumptions. The struggle to stay strong had drained her, akin to treading water without a glimmer of rescue on the horizon.
Dr. Bort had an affinity for gossip. Whenever CC tentatively approached the subject of romance and she mentioned Niles in that same conversation, Dr. Bort seized upon it like a hawk zeroing in on its prey. She subtly implied that there were deeper facets to their relationship that transcended surface appearances, underscoring that a solitary kiss, even if unintentional, wasn't an isolated event but the crux of the matter. The therapist ventured to suggest that CC's challenge in sustaining relationships didn't necessarily stem from incompetence but perhaps from a subconscious recognition that she didn't truly need a romantic relationship – she already had Niles.
Well, she would certainly prove Dr. Bort wrong. She didn't have Niles. She never did. He was leaving her, and he made it abundantly clear that he didn't even consider her in making that decision. She wasn't even worthy of a mention.
Although at times, CC wondered if Dr. Bort might be onto something. Colin and Chandler had both complained that she talked about Niles too much and that he had been rude to them whenever they spoke to him. CC hadn't paid much attention to their complaints. After all, both of those men were not right for her. She needed someone who could hold his own against her, make her feel like they were facing the world together, someone who'd be fine if she needed space to unwind, someone who didn't care about her societal status but genuinely cared about her. Someone like…
NO. She needed someone not like Niles.
Niles. Niles. Niles. Damn that man. He was taking up too much space in her life for someone who professed to hate her so vehemently. It was good that he was leaving. Good.
As she continued to drink, her mind began to release the thoughts she was supposed to think and the feelings she was supposed to feel. It gave her space to be honest. And, to be honest? She was hurt. Hurt that Niles seemed to despise her as much as he claimed. Hurt that he was departing. Sad. She missed him. She missed what they once shared. She missed him as an escort to events, missed him when she was drinking alone, where they used to share a drink together. She missed their sparring matches, their shared appreciation for a clever retort. She didn't want to lose him, but how could she keep him if she couldn't even define or acknowledge what they had?
She missed him so much.
As had happened many times before, she reached for her phone. She had his direct number, always had it, just in case of an emergency, because, despite everything, even now, she knew he'd come to help her. He was that kind of person. She had reached for the phone countless times when she was drunk and lonely like this. But she never called him. Why? What would she even say? 'Hey, Niles, I'm lonely, come keep me company?' She'd have no answer if he asked her why. So she never called.
But fuck it, he hated her and was leaving anyway, so what did it matter?
She pressed his speed-dial preset.
After three rings, he picked up. "Hello?" He sounded groggy, as if just woken up.
"Hi, Niles," CC said, smiling. Hearing his voice always had a way of making her feel better.
"Miss Babcock? Is something wrong? Where are you?" Worry laced Niles's words.
"Oh, I'm at home, Niles. Alone. I'm always home alone," she laughed. "Being home alone could be the premise for a movie or something. I should hire a writer to work on that."
Niles sighed. “Is something wrong?”
"Nothing, Niles. I just wanted to call. Don't you ever just want to call someone? I always want to call you, but I never do. But I figured you hate me anyway, so it doesn't matter. So I called." Her logic made perfect sense to her.
“I don’t hate you CC.”
CC loved it when he called her CC. Well, she did when he wasn't saying it in anger like he did this afternoon. "See, you can be nice. You were so angry this afternoon, Niles. But you're not allowed to lie. You hate me, and you don't think someone can love me." She pouted.
“I apologise CC. I was out of line. I shouldn’t have said those things.”
"No, no, Niles. You can't help what you feel. It's okay. I'm used to it. But I do have a little secret." CC started whispering. "You see, I know why I can't find a man, why I don't have a relationship. Dr. Bort told me. I thought it was a joke, but now I think she might be onto something."
Niles asked, sounding patient and kind, "What did she say?"
"She said I don't need one because I have you. Ha, have you ever heard something sillier? But then I was thinking tonight, and I think she might be right. Well, she was. I don't have you. Had you. Whatever. You're leaving, so I won't..." The tears began to fall. How embarrassing. She quickly hung up.
Now she remembered why she never called him when she felt like this. He didn't need to hear all this stuff, he'd use it against her. But he wouldn't anymore. He was leaving. The tears kept coming, and she didn't try to stop them. All she could see was loneliness, and she didn't know how to escape from it.
She awoke to the sound of a key turning in her door. She hadn't realised she had fallen asleep. In any other circumstance, she might have been concerned about someone entering her apartment in the middle of the night. But she trusted the doorman, and anyone with a key was likely meant to be there.
"CC, wake up. Come on, let me help you to bed." CC couldn't help but smile; she loved the sound of his voice. She had started drinking to avoid dreaming of him, but it hadn't worked. At least it was a pleasant dream.
"CC, open your eyes, please." He gently touched her shoulder. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. This was a dream worth savouring for a bit longer.
He left, and CC felt a sense of disappointment. Why did he have to go? The tears began to well up. Then, she felt his touch, brushing away her tears. Her smile returned. He was back. In a dream, he might stay. In a dream, he might care.
He sighed, and she felt his arms supporting her legs and back. He lifted her from the couch and carried her. Ah, this was a dream with potential. He laid her down gently on the bed, removed her shoes, and tucked her in. It wasn't exactly how she had envisioned the dream, but it was still comforting. She felt a tender kiss on her forehead, and then he departed. However, she didn't feel sadness; she felt safe.
~~~
When she awoke the next morning, she felt awful. Her usual hangover symptoms—headache, nausea, and grogginess—were compounded by an overwhelming emotional toll. She couldn't recall how she had ended up in her bed, as she typically woke up on the couch after a night like that.
Turning on her bedside lamp, she donned her glasses and noticed a glass of water and Advil on her nightstand. She found it strange since she had no memory of placing them there. Scanning the room, she let out a yelp when she spotted Niles sitting in the corner chair of her bedroom, with his feet propped up on the edge of her bed, fast asleep.
What had she done yesterday? Why was he here? When had he arrived? Panic surged within her, yet she also felt strangely calm. She had somehow come to terms with the fact that he truly disliked her, so anything she had done probably couldn't make things worse. Besides, since he was leaving, he wouldn't be able to hold it against her. It didn't really matter.
She took the Advil, downed the entire glass of water, and then quietly made her way to the bathroom to change into pyjamas. Returning to her bed, she nestled under the blankets and drifted back to sleep.
~~~
When she woke up again, sunlight streamed into her room, and Niles was no longer in the chair. A sense of relief washed over her. As much as she missed him, she knew it was probably for the best. She couldn't fathom what to say to him, and she dreaded the inevitable confrontation. She pondered how long she could stay away from the mansion.
Then she heard a key in her front door, followed by the door opening and closing. The sound of footsteps echoed through the living room and into the kitchen. He had gone away, only to return? It left her perplexed. Why had he come back?
She heard his quiet steps drawing closer to the bedroom. Niles's head peeked around the doorway, and when he noticed that she was awake, a warm smile graced his face.
"Good morning, or should I say good afternoon. I hope you're feeling better. I left more Advil and a fresh glass of water on your nightstand. When you're ready and if you want, I'll prepare a light lunch for you. Knowing you, you probably haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch." With that, he retreated, leaving her alone to contemplate.
Her confusion grew. Why was he being so kind? Why was he taking care of her? Had Maxwell forced him to return?
Determined to find answers, she decided to get up and see what he was still doing here. After taking the Advil, sipping the water, and donning a robe and glasses, she felt strangely at ease around him, even looking like this.
Niles was in her kitchen, chopping fruit. Fresh fruit, no less, which she hadn't had in her kitchen for a while. She watched him work from her bar, a secret pleasure of hers, admiring his precision and control in the kitchen.
"So. Did Maxwell make you come back?" she inquired.
Niles sighed and set down the knife, revealing his weariness. "No, I'm here because I want to be. Mr. Sheffield has no idea where I am. I told him you called and mentioned you were working from home." He resumed chopping fruit.
Thoughts raced through CC's mind. He was here of his own volition. He'd lied to Maxwell about her hangover. And he hadn't informed them of his whereabouts. "Why? I don't understand."
Niles paused and looked at CC. She could see the fatigue in his eyes. "I see that now. After lunch, when you're ready, we really need to talk." He placed a bowl of fruit and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in front of CC.
Quietly, she ate, deep in thought. She wasn't entirely sure how he came to be here. She vaguely remembered calling him, a common occurrence when she was drinking, but she had never gone through with it before. Apparently, she had this time. She just wished she remembered what she had said to him. Had she asked him to come over? She couldn't recall. She did remember dreaming of him, dreaming that he had carried her to her bed. Perhaps it wasn't a dream after all. He had been so caring and kind in that dream. And now, he was acting the same way in reality. What had changed?
After her late lunch, she took a shower and got dressed. Niles was on her couch, engrossed in a book, and he gave her space. In an unforeseen turn of events, she felt comfortable with his presence, something she could never have imagined. While she knew Dr. Bort would love to examine the dynamics at play, for now, CC just accepted the situation.
She settled down beside him on the couch. Niles put away his book and turned toward her.
"I'm sorry, Niles. I apologise for whatever I did or said yesterday that prompted you to come over. I'm sure there are places you'd rather be and people you'd rather be with than here with me. Not that I'm not thankful, I am, but you've made it pretty clear where we stand, and I should have respected that," CC began.
Niles sighed, giving her a sad smile, and gently took her hand. "I'm the one who should apologise, CC. I've been... I've said things... I'm sorry, truly. All you did yesterday was let me know how it affected you and what was going through your mind. I'm here because I want to be, because we need to have an honest conversation for once. Can we do that?"
CC was surprised. He acted like he was in the wrong. Could she really have an honest conversation with him? Just yesterday, she would have vehemently said no. But today, it seemed possible. Perhaps they could part ways on good terms before his move and stay in touch.
"I'd like that. I'd like to try, at least. But I feel like you're five steps ahead of me because I said something last night, and I don't remember," she admitted.
Niles smiled. "All you said was that you always want to call me when you're drunk, that Dr. Bort thinks your relationship issues are somehow related to me, that you kind of agree with her, and that you think I hate you. I want to address that last point right away—I don't hate you. I've been terrible to you in the past few months, worse than before, and it was completely out of line. I don't hate you, and I genuinely hope you believe me." He caressed her hand with his thumb.
CC's face flushed red, and she couldn't believe she had revealed all those things to him. "I... You came over because of that? After I said all that?" CC still couldn't his behaviour.
Niles nodded. "You cried, CC. You said you were alone, that I hated you, that you had lost me, and then you cried. You can't imagine what that does to me, when you cry. I was worried sick, I couldn't not come over."
CC swallowed hard; it was a lot to take in.
"Let me explain myself, okay? Please allow me to do that. And if you want to kick me out afterward, that's fine. But will you listen to my side?" he pleaded.
CC nodded, preparing herself for what she expected to be a heartbreaking revelation about Niles and Laura. It wasn't something she wanted to hear, but maybe it was good for her to hear it from him.
"I should have talked to you sooner," Niles began, his voice filled with regret. "I've been a coward, and I'm sorry for that. Here's the truth: I met Laura two months ago at a mutual friend's birthday party. I wasn't actively seeking a relationship, but she was quite persistent. So, we went on a few dates. She was very open about her feelings for me. However, I didn't feel the same way, but she said we should give it time. Fran also encouraged me to give Laura a chance. Fran just wants to see everyone happy and believes love can fix everything."
Niles continued, "Laura has met Fran and Maxwell, even joined us for dinner. She knows about you, CC. And I think that's part of the problem. She's aware of our history. At first, she was fine with me sharing details of my day, which often included you. But she grew uncomfortable, maybe even jealous. She didn't want to hear about you anymore, and she questioned why I was spending so much time with someone who, in her view, had no respect for me. She felt I should maintain a professional distance and didn't need you in my life."
CC swallowed hard. Laura's concerns weren't entirely baseless. "I do respect you, Niles. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear."
Niles offered a reassuring smile. "I know you do, CC. But Laura managed to convince me otherwise. I began to think, 'I deserve to be happy. I deserve someone to come home to.' And if Laura can be that person, then that's great. She's a nice person. We share many common interests. She's intelligent and funny."
"You absolutely deserve happiness, Niles," CC agreed, her voice quivering. She anticipated the moment when he'd tell her about moving away.
Niles continued, "I do believe I deserve happiness. However, Laura was still insecure, and my feelings didn't align with hers. We had many arguments, particularly regarding the Sheffields. She believed they were taking advantage of my time, leaving me with no space for my own life. And, of course, we argued about you—a lot. She felt threatened by your presence in my life."
Finally, Niles revealed, "Laura's job is relocating her to Chicago, and she asked me to join her there when she moves in a few weeks."
CC couldn't help but let out a sob as the tears welled up in her eyes. She turned away from Niles, hiding her face in her hands. The inevitable had finally come, and it hurt more than she expected.
Niles gently rubbed her back and reassured her, "I'm not going, CC. I ended things with her. I can't leave."
CC looked back at Niles, a mix of surprise and hope in her eyes. She had been convinced that he was about to bid her farewell. "Niles, of course you can go if you want. The Sheffields can manage on their own for a change. You deserve to be happy with the person you love."
Niles smiled warmly. "It's not the Sheffields keeping me here, CC. They haven't been the reason for a long time. It's you."
CC looked puzzled. "Me? But why? We don't have anything..."
Niles paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Oh, CC. I love you. I deserve a chance to be happy with the woman I love, and that woman is you. It's always been you, even when I didn't realise it myself. And I didn't, for a very long time. I tried not to acknowledge my feelings because I thought there was no hope for us. So, I settled for every day with you as a brighter day, and without you, life was just dull and grey."
It was as if Niles had handed CC his heart on a platter. She understood the immense risk he was taking by being so honest with her. In the past, she might have shattered him with her response without fully comprehending his words. But she felt too weary, too lonely, too emotional.
"You love me? Me? I thought you hated me, especially in these past months..."
Niles admitted, "I've been awful, and I know it. After you returned from... The Place, I thought we were getting closer, particularly after the wedding. But there was always this invisible barrier between us. We never took that final step, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Then, I met Laura at precisely the right—or wrong—time. My own frustrations got the best of me, and I saw the distance growing between us. Instead of fixing it, I made it worse. I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me, and that's why you kept your distance. I was so tangled up in my own emotional mess that I forgot to take a step back and think. I'm deeply sorry, CC, and I hope you can find it in your heart to give me one last chance."
CC tried to process the revelation. She began reassessing the past few months through the lens of Niles' confession. It didn't excuse the pain he had caused, but it helped her acknowledge that she hadn't been blameless in this situation either.
"Yesterday, after you left, Laura called me. She wanted to know if I'd made a decision about Chicago. I felt pressured, and we had another heated argument. She said things about you that crossed a line, and I realised that when you insulted Laura, I was irritated, but when she insulted you, it made me irrationally angry. She confessed she had requested the transfer to Chicago to separate you and me, hoping that the distance would bring her and me closer. I couldn't believe it, but it did make sense. Laura had been trying to distance me from you by any means possible. Once I realised that, I knew I had to break up with her. It was not only an unhealthy foundation for a relationship, but I also recognised how deeply intertwined you and I are. I couldn't love anyone else, and I didn't want to. I love you, CC, and even if you don't return those feelings, it doesn't matter. I can't leave."
"Thank you," she whispered.
"When you called yesterday, I was worried at first that you were hurt or in trouble. You never call me directly. When I realised you were drunk, I was concerned that you might be somewhere in the city alone and vulnerable. I was relieved to hear you were home, but you sounded so hurt on the phone, and I knew I was partly to blame. Look, I would never hold against you what you said when you were intoxicated. What I'm trying to say is that you implied that you might not hate me either, and that you wouldn't want me to move away. Is that still the case now that you're sober and after what I've just said?" Niles looked at her with hope in his eyes.
She couldn't help but smile. This conversation was nothing like she had expected. She still wasn't entirely sure about her feelings for Niles. She couldn't yet associate those three significant words with her emotions, but she did know that the mere thought of losing him, even when she believed he hated her, had been unbearable. As emotionally reserved as she was, she could recognise that he held an incredibly important place in her life.
"Niles, you know I struggle with emotions. I'm not good at articulating what I feel. Apparently, it takes a bottle of whiskey to help me with that," she said with a smile. "But I don't want you to go. I don't hate you. You're important to me. Today, when I woke up and you were sitting in the chair in my bedroom, I felt safe. I was glad that you came and cared. I think I need some time to process it all, but I don't want you to leave. I... care for you. Is it love? Maybe. How would I know? I have so little firsthand experience with such feelings. But it isn't hate or indifference. I feel good with you." She moved closer to him, and he hugged her.
Then he pulled back, gently caressed her cheek, and kissed her. They had only really shared that one passionate, angry kiss after the chicken prank. It had been intense and fiery. Amazing. But this, this was different. Better. It was slower, more tender, and filled with the profound sentiment of two people finally shedding the barriers that society and they themselves had erected between them, and finally choosing each other.