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The ringtone of his phone was almost drowned in the pouring rain as Josh tiredly rubbed his eyes. Opened textbooks were scattered on his makeshift desk, and a slight ache in his left hand worsened as he moved to crack his knuckles. Oblivious to the current time, Josh hastily pushed the books aside to search for his phone. Beneath a particular thick textbook on building construction, Josh found his cell phone still ringing. While stifling a yawn behind his fist, Josh accepted the call without reading the contact's name.
"Hello?" he asked groggily while letting his head fall forward.
He heard the heavy rain through the usual buzzing of the phone call. The silence continued, and Josh's eyelids grew heavier the longer he tried to keep them open. Frustration gnawed at the thin thread of patience he held on to.
"Hello?" Josh tried again. "Someone there?"
He feared he might have fallen for a prank call and was ready to hang up in favor of resting his head on the table to sleep. Slowly, his head sank along with his will to entertain the person at the other end of the line. His mouth opened again, raring to start a lecture about disturbing him, when a broken sob momentarily stopped Josh's annoyance.
"Josh?"
His heart sank at the desperation in her voice. With his previous sleep deprivation forgotten, Josh exited his chair and paced in his bedroom. His eyes scanned the floor, already searching for his sweatshirt and car keys.
Boxes were still packed with most of his belongings and served as furniture until Josh saved enough money to buy what he needed. His apartment was messy, and Josh blamed the unending coursework he needed to finish.
Four weeks ago, Josh had moved out of the dorm room he used to live in during his first two years of college. Now—as a junior—he luckily found an affordable apartment with just enough space for his previous furniture so he could have more privacy. The college was further away but still close enough for Josh to enjoy a quiet morning without worrying about being late to class.
"Maya? What's going on? Are you okay?"
He couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. Fear tightened its grip on Josh's heart with every second that passed without Maya answering any of his questions.
"Physically? Yes. Though I might catch a cold or two."
Josh exhaled shakily, relieved to hear her voice again. He was almost too afraid to hear what she said next.
"Mentally? Not so good."
She sobbed again as Josh finally found the sweatshirt he was looking for.
"Josh, I can't do this without Riley."
He put on the piece of clothing swiftly, not wanting to put the phone down for too long in fear of missing anything Maya might say. Her confession—albeit out of the blue—was unsurprising.
"Where are you right now?"
He heard faint shuffling at the other end of the line as he picked up his car keys from a pile of clothes. Maya snuffled quietly.
"Maya?" He said her name to make sure she was still there. Somehow, Josh knew the answer before Maya spoke.
"Greenwich Village, Manhattan."
"I'll be there in a few."
"You need the town as well?" She asked through a fresh wave of tears. Josh chuckled despite the adrenaline rush he experienced as he put on his sneakers.
"No, I think I'll manage," he answered, the left corner of his mouth pulling upward.
"Thank you."
Josh nodded, though Maya couldn't see it. She ended the call before he could say anything else, and Josh packed his phone into the safety of his jeans pocket.
On his way out, he grabbed a spare hoodie and flicked off the lights, stowing the latchkey after locking his front door. He raced down the two flights of stairs it took to leave the apartment building, and went out to the backyard—a small parking lot belonged to Josh's landlord where the renters were allowed to park their cars. There were fewer parking spots than apartments though, so it was always a lucky strike when Josh could park his car somewhere without an annoying ten-minute walk.
Quickly, he ran through the rain and got into his car, shook off the cold, and started the engine. The rain became more visible within his headlights, and it only got stronger. The radio started playing an unfamiliar tune, and as Josh glanced at the clock, his eyes widened—almost three AM. He wasted no more time and drove onto the street.
• • •
Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, and as Maya attempted to wipe her wet hair out of her face some strands got stuck between her fingers. Her back ached from sitting on the rough staircase for the past hours, her skin was covered in goosebumps due to the cold seeping through her shirt, and her mood turned sour—even more than before she got there.
A deep-drawn sigh left her lungs, exhaling the painful absence of her best friend. Maya gave up attempting to blink away the blurriness of her vision, and instead watched strangers who drove past once in a while. The Neighborhood of the Matthews had always been rather quiet in comparison to Maya's raucous one, and on rare nights like these, Maya found herself craving the noise to drown out her brash thoughts.
The longing for Riley's chippy voice had a tight grip on Maya's heart—echoes of past conversations haunted the school's hallways and classrooms and Maya struggled to enter the building a tad more each morning. Her friends were supportive—cracking more jokes than usual, sharing their meals with Maya, and sitting next to her in class—but it wasn't the same. Teachers grew concerned about Maya's grades once again, but the voice of reason within was gone to remind Maya why trying was important.
Her mother's words rang through her mind, something Maya was forced to listen to almost every morning since Riley's departure, "Maya, I don't think staying in bed all day will change anything. She wouldn't want to see you like this, would she?"
It was cruel to some extent, bringing Riley into all of this. But the reason for Maya's anger didn't lie in her mother's proposition, it lay in the fact that Katy was right—Maya hated herself for it, but it was as true as it hurt to admit.
The refulgence of headlights momentarily blinded Maya, the sudden light disturbing the darkness she had been sitting in—nearby street lanterns were either weak or didn't work properly, flickering every few seconds. Maya lifted her head when her eyes adjusted to the bright lights, trying to decipher the driver but he was already stepping out of the car and running toward her, leaving the door open.
"Maya!" Josh's voice cut through the pouring rain. He stopped two steps in front of her. "Everything okay?"
She shifted uncomfortably on the flight of stairs, trying not to jump into his embrace and become a blubbering mess. She already did that once and had vowed to herself to never let it happen again. Maya willed her hands to stop shaking, and slowly lifted her head to meet Josh's concerned gaze. In the deep shadows cast upon his face, Maya found no trace of pity in Josh's eyes—only worry and comprehension. She was grateful for the companionship, although she thought she wanted to be alone.
Maya's head dipped slightly, and Josh barely caught the movement. The only indication he had seen it was the sinking of his shoulders as the tension eased somewhat.
"Come on, let's get you inside. The rain's only getting worse," Josh suggested, extending his right hand toward Maya. With a weak smile, she took it and relished in the warmth of his touch.
He walked her to the passenger seat, opened the door, and waited for her to get inside. Maya's lips turned upward briefly as she looked at Josh, one of her eyebrows raising teasingly.
"Ever the gentleman."
Josh huffed a laugh, shortly smirking at her remark before closing the door and running over to the other side. Once he was seated, the door clicked shut, and they sat in silence for a moment—Josh scratched the back of his neck as Maya's feelings tried to catch up with the situation she found herself in. Josh was there, sitting in the driver's seat because she called him late at night on a Thursday. Cautiously, she glanced at Josh. There was still concern in his gaze though he seemed to be more at ease now, knowing Maya was okay and sitting in his car.
All of a sudden, she felt stupid.
"Josh, I'm sorry."
His movement halted, eyebrows scrunching together. He bit the inside of his cheek—a nervous habit of his—and turned toward Maya. Before he could ask, she started to ramble.
"I shouldn't have called you this late. You were probably with your friends and now I interrupted the little time you have to spend with them in your cramped schedule of college and work—or even worse, I disrupted an important study session for some test you have in the morning. Were you sleeping? Oh god, please tell me, I didn't wake you up—you sounded tired when you answered the phone-"
"Maya." A comforting hand landed on her left shoulder, and Maya finally remembered to breathe again. "It's okay, don't worry. You don't have to go all Riley on me."
The joke didn't hurt, which Maya found odd. She expected a wave of sadness crashing down as it always did when someone cracked a joke that involved Riley in any way. When Maya looked up at Josh again, she found calmness and a tiny smirk gracing his handsome features. She breathed out a laugh, somehow feeling lighter than before.
"Sorry. I just didn't want you to think I expected you to pick me up."
"No?" Josh asked teasingly.
"No. I don't take these things for granted, you know?"
"I know."
Maya crossed her arms as she started to tremble again. Unfortunately, the cold wasn't entirely shut out of the car, and her wet clothes only made it worse. The heater took its time to warm the car, and as Josh noticed Maya's shaking, he mumbled something incoherent and quickly reached into the backseat where he had stashed the spare hoodie. He held it out to Maya, offering her the arid source of warmth with a smile. Gratefully, she took it and pulled the piece of clothing over her head, hauling the sleeves up to her knuckles.
"Thank you, Josh."
"No problem," he responded, averting his gaze to avoid staring too much at Maya wearing his hoodie. It happened before but between the last time she wore his clothes and the current situation, a lot had shifted between them—stolen glances turned into longing gazes, and the realization of having an actual chance at their feelings being reciprocated altered their behavior permanently.
Riley was not there to mope about the possibility of Josh and Maya being anything remotely other than friends. It was the only positive aspect of Riley's absence, Maya noticed. She didn't voice her thoughts, too scared of the outcome.
Josh busied himself by looking into his rearview as he drove backward to get back on the street. Maya turned up the volume of the radio, trying to fill the silence before it could grow uncomfortable—it rarely did when Maya was with Josh. The few times it did happen were either because another person pointed out their obvious attraction to one another or due to a conversation raising more questions than they could offer answers to—conversations about what they were to each other because Maya was too afraid and Josh was too shy to confront their shameless flirting.
The song played softly in stark contrast to the heavy rains as Josh drove them through the deserted streets of Manhattan. The drive from the Matthews' apartment to the Hart's was approximately fifteen minutes long including the usual traffic, but Josh has always been a cautious driver and Maya didn't mind the additional time she wasn't alone at home. Her trembling decreased, nevertheless, she huddled against the oversized hoodie and rested her head against the headrest.
As they came to a halt at a red light for the third time, Maya spoke again.
"I promised her it'd be fine."
Her voice was quiet yet steady. Josh recognized the hint of pain nonetheless.
"I fucking lied."
A tear left a wet trail behind on her cheek right before it fell and sank into the black fabric of Josh's hoodie. Josh kept his hands firmly on the wheel, staring straight on, but his grip tightened as he noticed Maya wiping her face with a sleeve. He swallowed the apology she surely expected him to give because it's what everyone has been saying to her since the Matthews drove off to the airport three weeks ago.
"There are already new people moving into the apartment," Maya continued, sniffling quietly. "I saw them carrying boxes the other day when I walked past the apartment building. There was a huge truck bringing furniture, too."
Now that Maya had started to talk, she found it hard to stop. Josh wasn't entirely sure if she wanted him to respond or simply speak to comprehend her emotional turmoil.
"And I saw Farkle speaking to Smackle on Monday. I think they aren't together anymore because he misses Riley so much and Smackle doesn't how to handle it."
"Did you go to school on Monday?" Josh asked cautiously.
Maya's mouth opened, then closed again as if she didn't expect him to speak. She then nodded slowly, biting her lip nervously.
"Yeah." Her voice trailed off, leaving the impression as if she attended school on Monday only. Josh didn't question it. He knew she would deflect and grow distant, not wanting to talk to him anymore as well. The last thing Maya wanted was a speech about responsibility and education—Josh could only assume how often she got them over the past month.
"I think, Lucas is trying to find closure. His relationship with Riley ended rather messy this year and it was hard for them to fall back into a simple friendship. Now that Riley lives in another country, I think he's trying to close that chapter for good."
"And how is Zay handling the situation?"
Maya started to smile as she looked into her lap, fiddling with the sleeves again.
"He's doing good. Great, actually. He knew Riley the least out of our friend group, so I assume it's easier for him to deal with her absence. He does his best to be there for us though."
The corners of her mouth turned downward again, a frown creasing her forehead. Josh glanced at her, sensing the shift in her mood. Years of deciphering her facial expressions and picking up on the tiniest habits of hers had taught Josh a thing or two. He knew exactly what she was worried about.
"Give it time, Maya," Josh said softly. "I know it seems as though everyone is doing okay except for you, but that's just an illusion. They all struggle and will for a while. It might take you longer to feel better but that's totally fine. No one expects you to carry on as if nothing happened."
"Sure as hell feels like it though," she muttered.
"If they do, fuck them."
Maya's eyes widened, gaze snapping up to Josh with her mouth agape. Amusement danced in his eyes, lips pulling into a one-sided smirk as he took a turn to the left.
"Joshua Gabriel Matthews, you did not just say that!" Maya sounded scandalized, a dumbfounded expression on her face as she watched Josh still concentrating on the street, biting his lip and suppressing a laugh. He didn't even look ashamed or anything akin to regret. If anything, he enjoyed hearing Maya laugh at the absurdity of it all.
"Unbelievable," she mumbled in between breaks of laughter. Josh joined in, briefly looking at Maya to see how she doubled over, trying to catch her breath.
Josh slowed down the car in order to find Maya's apartment building. Maya hadn't even noticed they reached her street until the car halted and Josh loosened his grip on the wheel, pulling up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. A few strands of hair stuck to his forehead and Maya fought the urge to reach out and pull them back for him.
"Thank you, Josh. Truly."
"Nah, it's no problem." He dismissed her words with a hand gesture, waving his hand from side to side. She turned to him completely then, as much as the seat allowed her to, and fixed him with one of her infamous stares.
"I'm serious, Josh. Thank you. Not only for picking me up and driving me home in the middle of the night but also for listening and being there. I appreciate it."
"It's-"
"If you wanna say it's no big deal, don't bother talking at all."
"Noted," Josh said, scratching the back of his head and smiling sheepishly while Maya unbuckled her seatbelt. She reached out, touching the door handle with one hand, and pulling hair out of her face with the other. Then she looked up at him again, biting her lip nervously, as if trying to decide her next move but not quite knowing what to do.
Before she could change her mind, Maya leaned forward, and Josh's breath halted as he sat still, waiting. Maya kissed Josh's cheek, lips pulling into a shy smile as she sat back to gauge his reaction. A blush blossomed on both their cheeks, yet they didn't shy away from eye contact, the silence filled with anticipation that had been building for years.
But as Josh glanced at the clock—a stern reminder of their responsibilities in life—he knew they would not have that much-needed conversation tonight. Not that he had expected them to. Maya was still processing Riley's move into another country—this night was proof enough—and starting college in a few months while he tried to adjust to his new job while balancing his junior year of college.
They could try at any given moment, but they both knew they weren't ready for that yet and Josh and Maya didn't want to waste the only chance they might get some time in the future purely because of impatience.
Maya stifled a yawn, holding the back of her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes briefly as the exhaustion of the day broke in. Josh took a look at the clock again, knowing he usually would be drowning in his textbooks right now, sitting at his makeshift desk with a hunched back and complaining about the pain in the morning.
"You should get some sleep, Maya," Josh advised with a smile, gesturing at the car door she still hadn't opened.
"I know, I know," Maya said. "You should, too."
Josh nodded, agreeing with her without complaining. Maya still made no move to leave.
"Come on, you have school in the morning," Josh urged.
"Do I?" Maya questioned with a raised eyebrow, smirking.
"Maya."
"I wouldn't miss much—only chemistry, math, and-"
"Maya!" Josh interrupted her, trying not to laugh and aiming for a stern tone in his voice.
"Okay, fine. You're right." Maya dipped her head, seemingly noticing the gravity of the situation.
"Goodnight, Maya," Josh said softly.
"G'night, Josh."
Maya left the car with a giddy smile, trying and failing to hide it from Josh's view—she didn't turn away in time for him not to notice. She ran through the rain, reaching the entrance of her apartment building as fast as she could, fumbling with the keys to open the door. Josh waited until she was inside—closing the door and probably leaning against it to catch her breath—before backing out of her street and driving home, where he would undoubtedly get no sleep in the two hours he still had left before he needed to get up. Maya would, per usual, occupy his thoughts and feelings. Little did he know, for Maya it was the same trouble.