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Mallick could not believe this asshole. He’d gone to the Jigsaw Survivor Support Group, hoping to get something out of it. Validation, understanding, free pizza, maybe. A place to kill time where he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts for a little while. Maybe Brit would be there, but he didn’t really put a lot of hope into that particular possibility. She didn’t much care for going to things like that, she’d told him once. She hated hearing other people claim to have found a new purpose in life after getting tortured for whatever arbitrary reason that had landed them in a trap in the first place.
Instead of Brit, he had to get stuck listening to this jackass preach to the group about finding the positive in their survival. Many of the others in the group seemed to buy what he was selling, but Mallick didn’t trust him. He was too upbeat, too much like a car salesman. Or a politician. He’s known too many charlatans in his life to trust everyone with a sob story, especially when he has one of his own. At least Mallick wasn’t the only one feeling skeptical- multiple others seemed to have come to the same conclusion, and only one or two stayed after group for a meet and greet. Brit would have really liked that one woman, the one who’d lost half her arm.
Mallick’s phone went off as he was leaving the building, and if he broke into a bright smile at the name on the screen, whose business was it, anyway? He responded to Brit’s text slowly, agreeing to meet her at their usual spot- a bench in the city park, right next to the fountain. He stuffed the phone back in his pocket, fiddling with the other small object in there for a moment before heading off.
She’s right where she said she’d be, back to the fountain, but head on a swivel. Somehow she’d spotted him before he’d spotted her, even though he knew where she was going to be; when he saw her, she was already watching him. She scooted over a little when he came over, giving him some room to sit. Like every time they’ve met up, they sit in silence for the first few minutes, just drinking in the relief they both feel. The bench is one of Mallick’s new favorite places. Wide open space, plenty of people around, their backs to the fountain and the only other person in the world who knows exactly how he feels, sitting right beside him.
She laughed when he told her about the meeting, and how it went. Laughed again when he told her how he kept trying to use his right hand for things, how itchy he’d been feeling lately. It was so nice to hear her laugh. He liked that he was the one to make her do it. That she kept agreeing to meet up with him, spend time with him, even though they didn’t have very much in common, besides the obvious. He’d never tell her, but he was glad that they’d survived together.
He’d asked her once, what would they have done if they’d realized sooner, about how they all could have survived their test together. What if all five of them had made it from room to room and figured out how they could work together to live. She’d laughed then, too, but it had been empty.
“We never would have made it. Even if, by some miracle, one of us had noticed all the keys were identical, or one of us had understood Jigsaw’s cryptic-ass message. One of us would have eventually decided to sacrifice the others.”
“Why didn’t you sacrifice me, too? Like you did Luba?” He had asked. Her eyes had been far away when she answered him, like she was back in that warehouse, back in that room with the whirring sawblades that had nearly claimed them both.
“I was going to,” she’d said. “Was going to push you into that machine with both arms and walk out the only survivor.” There’d been a long pause before she continued again. “But you said we all had deserved what we got. That we were monsters. I saw it, clearly in that moment, that you were right. I was a monster. Maybe I still am.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Not killing you?” She’d laughed again, but it was real that time. “Maybe once or twice. But I don’t want to be that kind of monster, not anymore.” Another long pause. “I quit my job.”
That was their first meetup after their discharge from the hospital, after a week or so of Mallick being afraid he’d never see her again. Afraid he’d have to try to pick up the pieces of his broken life and make something of it alone, even if his family was trying to help him. He reached into his pocket, curling his hand around the small object and pulling it back out, keeping it safe in his fist.
“How’s the job search been going?” He asked, and she sighed. “That good, huh?”
“Oh, it’s going just peachy.” She gave him a dry look. “I worked in real estate my entire career. It’s what I’m good at. I’m not exactly qualified for anything else, but going back to it right now, I... I’m not ready for that.”
“Mine’s not going great either,” he said, and she hummed in surprise. “Yeah, turns out people don’t tend to hire trust fund babies who’ve never worked a day in their lives.”
“At least you have a place to stay while you look. My landlord’s not exactly pleased about how late my payments are getting.” She looked at him, puzzled, when he offered her his closed hand, but held hers palm-up anyway, expecting him to lace their fingers together again, like they sometimes did. Instead, he gently placed the object he’d been carrying into her palm and gently closed her fingers over it. “What the hell is this?”
“My uh. Parents set me up with an apartment of my own,” he confessed, a little sheepish. She opened her hand and held up his gift- a key, shiny and new, with a number carved into it and a little tag attached with her name. “I uh. I made you a copy of the key.”
“Why would you do that?” Uh oh. She seemed annoyed, defensive almost. “What, you think I’m just going to move in with you?”
“Look,” he huffed, getting annoyed himself. “I’m not asking for your hand in marriage or anything. I’m just saying that if you find yourself in need of a place to stay, well, now you have one.” He shrugged, trying not to look hurt. “Doing this whole... moving on thing? It really sucks, doing it alone. If it sucks for you like it does for me, then maybe. I don’t know. Maybe we don’t have to do it alone. I don’t know. This is stupid, I’m being stupid, just throw it away if you don’t want it.” He started to stand, unable to stand the growing embarrassment. What had he expected, anyway?
“No, Mallick, wait,” she put her hand on his leg and he dropped back down onto the bench with a sigh. “I don’t like feeling pitied, alright? I get enough of it from all sides as it is.” He held up his wounded arm and raised an eyebrow. He knew exactly how that felt. “I might. Drop by, from time to time. We’ll see how it goes from there, ok?”
“Yeah, ok.” She put the key in her pocket, then surprised him again by putting her hand over his. They sat there for a while, watching people go by, watching the clouds drift along. Maybe things could be ok. Someday.