Work Text:
Midoriya Izuku was standing alone on a rooftop. He was still feeling the sludge in his mouth and the burns from explosions on his skin. But most importantly, he was feeling pathetic. A little sludge and explosions, huh ? That was such a fraction of what heroes suffered everyday. Even the Symbol of Peace that saved everyone with a smile was missing a lung and coughed blood !! He said he smiled to hide his fear. What a heroic thing to do... But it was terrifying to know that truth. Izuku could never be that strong. He was a crybaby. Some bullies' pushbag. Deku. Of course he couldn't be a hero. But then, why was he feeling so empty? Why had he believed it all these years ? Was he stupid on top of that ? He had to know by now that people just aren’t born equal! Everything in his life made that obvious.
Without power, can one become a hero ? No, I should think not. It’s not wrong to dream... However, you need to be more realistic, kid.
He’s so lame. Even as a third year, he still can’t face reality.
You wanna be a hero so bad ? I’ve got a time saving idea for you. If you think you’ll have a quirk in your next life... Go take a swine dive off the roof!!
All the voices were mixing in his head, taunting, shouting at his stupidity.
can one become a hero ?
You wanna be a hero so bad ?
I'm sorry, Izuku
No, I should think not
without power
If you think you’ll have a quirk ...
Be more realistic
Go take a swan dive off the roof
That last memory made him look at the gray concrete street below that was getting harder and harder to see through the tears. Jumping off a roof wasn’t even difficult to do.... Maybe easier than seeing Kacchan in school everyday. Sure it’s scary, but so quick... It's not like anybody passing by would care if they knew he was quirkless. But then Izuku reached a numb sort of decision, turned around and walked down the stairs. His mom would care, at least a little bit, and he would never forgive himself if he made her sad. That wasn't the only thing making him leave the roof behind, though, he could feel that. But he didn't know what other reason there could be, exactly. Maybe he didn’t want to have to do what Kacchan suggested, just once. Maybe he still thought a deku could help people, and that he could try being a policeman like all might suggested . Maybe he was just a coward. Maybe it was the same bright sort of determination that always dragged him forward, the one that steadied his bruised legs as he stood between bullies and victims , the one that was born the moment he saw All might save people with a big smile, the one that made him apply to UA's hero course when he saw that the quirkless weren't forbidden from doing so, the one that told him to never give up, the one that never truly disappeared after being stomped down countless times by so many people. That little spark of hope. His dream of being a hero.
The one that made him ask the question to All might in the first place. The one he needed to crush like an annoying bug if he ever wanted to accept the answer. That's why he remembered his teacher's words as he clutched his Notebook #13 even harder : It’s time to start thinking seriously about your future. It was titled Hero Analysis for the future . It was completely ruined. How bitterly fitting. He wiped his eyes. There was no point in moping around. Even the best of the best said it ,he thought. Don’t cry, you knew already, right? , he told himself again and again. This is reality... It's because I knew...That I tried so damn hard... So hard not to see people being happy as he failed. He wanted to ignore reality. Yeah.
He became aware of his surrounding when he saw a commotion, probably another villain fight. He approached when he heard an explosion that reminded him of Kacchan,even if he knew it was stupid. I'm so used to gawking. Just stop it. I'll only make myself feel like a looser. But then his eyes widened as he recognized the sludge villain, and horror overtook him. The only way that was possible was if All might dropped him. That means it was Izuku's fault. He bothered a pro with his stupid fantasy and now someone actually worth something was suffering that immense pain from drowning in sludge. And the only thing he could do was watch and regret this for the rest of his life because it was purely his fault. Despite everything that happened that day, this was the worst moment of his life. The spark in him died.
Hang in there...I'm sorry ! I'm so sorry!
I'm
so
FUCKING
SORRY
Someone will come to save you soon... ...right?
A hero's bound to come... Please come
But then he saw Kacchan's eyes pleading for help. The spark became a fire. He dashed forward.
And that's the story of how the greatest hero was born.